When Hollywood Moved in Next Door
by Bugsbunnyaloha
Summary: It was far from glamorous; nor was it dazzling as some might imagine Hollywood to be when it becomes your neighbor. After his first encounter, Steve wanted nothing to do with them; the thoughts were mutual coming from the house next door…but as it turns out, nothing is exactly the way it seems, for either of them.
1. Chapter 1

Steve sat on the bottom step of the stairs in his home, shifting his body slightly to the right to allow her to pass by him carrying her last bit of clothing down the steps. He watched her set the large suitcase down by the open front door and take a quick look around to be sure she hadn't left anything behind before she slowly turned to him.

Her dark hair that used to be long and luscious was now shoulder length. He hated the look on her. It wasn't so much the actual style that he hated, but the fact that it was the first sign of her infidelity that he let go unrecognized, or maybe he just chose to ignore it. Over the last couple of days since the actual breakup, he began to see the signs everywhere that he had chose to 'ignore'.

The short hair was a request from the new guy.

'_How did I let that one get by me?'_ he thought irritably.

He stared at her, picturing the guy that had been living next-door running his hands through it. He could feel the anger rising again and looked away toward the kitchen as they sat there in silence. So much had already been said; there was really nothing more to say, except goodbye.

"Steve, I…" she began in a soft almost regretful tone and then stopped, not wanting to apologize, knowing it would be fruitless because in a way she wasn't sorry.

He looked back over at her, "I did everything you asked of me. You wanted to move in," he spread his hand out as if displaying his house, "you moved in. You wanted me to be more available; I included you in everything. I did everything you asked and the only thing I ever asked of you was to be honest with me."

"I was," she said adamantly, "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Come on, Becky," he said almost laughing. "You were fucking the guy next door while I was at work! That doesn't happen by accident!"

His choice of words stung her, they were vile and not at all what she would use to describe she and Jeff's love making, but she couldn't blame him for using them, he was angry. "I know you don't understand that, but it's true. You might have physically been here Steve, but emotionally you never were."

That was the third time she had told him that since yesterday. He still didn't believe it, it was just another excuse she used to justify her actions.

"You're not going to do anything to Jeff are you?" she asked nervously, knowing his connections in and around Hawaii.

He stared at her as if she'd suddenly turned into another person. He wasn't sure if that statement pissed him off more because she would actually think he would stoop that low over jealously or that she was trying to protect the new man in her life, both angered him equally he decided. "You really think I would do that?" he shook his head letting out a deep sigh, realizing that after all this time she really didn't know him at all.

"I don't know Steve. Sometimes people do things out of anger. He's a little nervous about it."

He couldn't help but be pleased over that. Any discomfort for that sonofabitch was music to his ears. He had no intention of involving himself in her life after this departure, but hell, if he scared the guy a little, so be it. "I'd be nervous too if I were screwing another guy's girl," he glared at her, "but then again. I'd never do anything like that." Pointing out to her once again his integrity, and her new partner's lack of.

She turned her face away, rolling her eyes, tired of his bantering of Jeff. She bent over picking up her suitcase, "You will never understand the depths of my relationship with Jeff. It wasn't about screwing, it never has been. We fell in love over conversations and a connection that neither one of us perused, it just happened, and I'm not going to apologize for it either, but I am sorry that you had to get caught in the middle of it."

He tried to hide the anger over those words that were a blow to his ego. "That's beautiful, Becky. You should write that down so you can say the same thing to him when you start sleeping with the next neighbor."

She squeezed the handle of the suitcase. "He loves me, Steve. He tells me he does. You. Never."

It was true, he'd never said it, but he showed her. He thought his actions spoke for themselves. "I guess you'll never know now, will you?" The expression on her face mirrored disappointment over his teasing her with that reply. He wondered then if things would have been different if he had said it. '_Probably not_,' he thought bitterly, but he still didn't feel convinced. Women needed that for some reason, he thought. Not understating why it had to be all or nothing. He never demanded it from her. He never demanded anything from her. He accepted her the way she was. It angered him even more that he didn't get the same courtesy. "You better run along, Becky," he said dryly, "before ole' Jeff boy thinks there's something going on between us."

She turned away before the tears formed, not wanting him to see them. She knew him, and she knew she'd wounded him. She had loved him, but over time that love became frustrating when it wasn't returned. She couldn't understand why he didn't get that. "Goodbye, Steve."

He sat in silence as she closed the door behind her. The pain in his chest tripled, knowing it was really over.

It hurt because he had loved her.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve sat up in bed after being awoken by the sound of a large truck beeping as it backed up. He looked at the clock on the nightstand seeing it was only 7:42 in the morning. He recalled what day it was, knowing it wasn't garbage day, and besides, they always came later in the afternoon when most of the cars down his narrow street were vacated, making pick up easier.

The annoying sound stopped and he lay back down, rolling over on his side and hugged the other pillow, a habit he'd picked up since Becky's departure almost a month earlier.

Another ritual began as his mind began to explore the case they had just come off of. He sorted out in his head the details of the report he had to complete that day and turn in, having been too exhausted at two o'clock the night before to even attempt. He'd sent everyone home to sleep off the 21 hours straight that they had spent on duty and not to report in the next day until noon.

The serenity of sleep had him almost in the palm of its hand when the annoying beeping returned.

His eyes flew open and he sat up.

"What the hell!" he growled, throwing the covers off and getting out of bed. He stomped down the stairs wearing nothing but a pair of old Navy sweat pants that were cut-off just above the knee.

He went for the front door as the annoying sound continued and then stopped, repeating seconds later. He pulled his door open and saw the moving truck that was causing his headache. They were trying to back it up to the house that had been occupied by the guy that Becky had left him for. Jeff had moved out of the rental almost immediately after the affair had been revealed. Last he heard, he and Becky were living someplace downtown in a high rise. The owners of the house hadn't wasted anytime getting new tenants, and by the look of it, not very bright ones either.

His house was situated on the end of the street, he just had to just drive straight onto his lot, while the other two homes were facing the street dead on which forced them to turn. It wasn't crowded by any means but it was if you were driving a 17-foot moving truck and had no idea what the hell you were doing, he thought angrily.

He came and stood out on the porch and watched with bitter amusement as they attempted the feat over and over to no avail.

"Why did they even rent a truck to this guy?" he mumbled. "He clearly has no clue what he's doing." He contemplated giving them a ticket for noise pollution when they finally gave up and the engine turned off. He couldn't see the driver but heard them get out and close the driver's side door.

"Finally!" he grumbled, going back in the house and slamming the door shut. "I swear that fucking house is cursed."

He stomped back up the stairs and fell back into bed, hugging the pillow again, trying to find a comfortable position and fight off the annoyance that had now engulfed him.

He opened his eyes after a couple of minutes, knowing it was going to be useless. He rolled over to the other side of the bed and looked out the French door windows that led to the lanai. The sky was cloudless from where he lied. It was going to be another unseasonably hot day in paradise. The record breaking heat wave made just about everyone on edge, except for the tourists. His puny few hours of sleep were going to catch up with him later in the day, he just knew it.

He thought about coffee, but was too lazy to get up and start a pot, annoyed with himself now for not preparing it before he went to bed the night before. It was a regular habit but he had been so tired he let it go, telling himself he'd do it in the morning after a good nights sleep. He huffed angrily over that ridiculous logic.

He pushed the blanket off his legs, feeling the heat of another scorching day begin to arise already. He leaned over still lying in the bed and reached out as far as he could, grasping one of the door handles and opened it. A cool ocean breeze hit him before he even had a chance to lie back again.

That made him slightly happy, getting a whiff of the floral and salt water that came from his back yard; that and the sound of the waves gently rolling over on the beach was majestic and peaceful. His eyes became heavy and the last thing he remembered was picturing the annoying dude next door having to unload that enormous truck in this heat, hoping he was sweating his ass off.

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"Steve," Danny said patiently, standing at the foot of his bed.

"Steve!" he said again, gently shaking the metal footboard.

When he didn't get a reaction he shook it harder. "Steve! Damn, are you alive?"

Steve opened his eyes startled over the intrusion and sat up on his elbow looking around as if he had no idea where he was. "What? Where is it?" he mumbled, glancing around and then trying to focus on the person at the end of the bed.

Danny laughed over his demeanor. "Where is what? Get up!"

He flopped back down into his soft pillow, feeling like his body weighed about five hundred pounds. "What time is it?"

"Eleven forty. You told me to pick you up at eleven thirty. I've been sitting outside honking. What's the matter with you?"

He moaned but it came out sounding like an old bear. "New neighbor doesn't know how to back up a fricking truck," he mumbled.

Danny looked at him oddly, "What?"

"Nothing." He finally sat up on the edge of the bed and ran his hands over his face, feeling more tired than he did at two o'clock the night before. "Do me a huge favor. Go start a pot of coffee while I jump in the shower."

"Ok, hurry up."

Ten minutes later he was out the door with a cup of coffee in his hand. He stared at the moving truck as they walked to the car. "That's why I'm late," he huffed.

"What do you mean?" Danny asked.

"They kept trying to back that thing up and had no idea what they were doing. Beep! Beep!" he grumbled. "Drove me crazy."

They heard a woman talking just before she jumped out from the back of the truck. She had on a pair of multi colored running shorts and a dark blue T-shirt that had the display of a movie that was in theatres two years before and was two sizes too big. Her blond hair was wrapped up in a mass on top of her head. Even from where they both stood they cold see she was pretty. She turned around and spoke to someone inside the truck. "Careful Eric, just ease it out slowly and I'll catch it."

Steve assumed it was the challenged driver until they heard the young voice inside.

"I can't hold it," he yelled, "it's slipping!"

"Don't push it!" she yelled at him as the whole leather couch came out the back of the truck on its hind end and slammed on the ground. She tried to hold onto it as it began tip over upside down. "Shit! Shit!" she yelled out, losing the battle.

Steve set his coffee on top of the Camaro as he and Danny both ran over to where she was. They both caught the end just before it hit the ground and landed on top of her.

Danny moved around to her side. "You got that end?" he asked Steve as he lifted it.

"I got it," he said annoyed. Angry that he had to help the same people who had rudely woken him up.

They turned it up right and set it down on the ground.

She looked at both of them, wondering where in the heck they had just appeared from before she finally spoke up. "Thanks," she said dryly to the two of them and then glared up at the boy. "Nice job Eric. I said go slow." She glanced back at Steve for just a spilt second; wanting just another glimpse of him to be sure what she had actually seen the first time around was true. It was. His rugged good looks made her even more anxious. She didn't need this right now, another humiliation.

"I was trying!" Eric snapped back at her. "God! Don't yell at me! You dropped it!"

Steve and Danny looked across at each other over the tone of the young boy's voice. He couldn't have been more than nine or ten but his attitude was more like a teenager. They waited for a scolding from his mother that didn't come. She just glared at him.

"Well, we have to get going," Steve announced uncomfortably. "Welcome to the neighborhood." He rolled his eyes as he turned away. He had a bad feeling about these people. Rude kid, rude mother, he could only imagine what the Dad was like.

They heard another thank you that was about the same generous tone as the last one as they made their way back to the car.

"We should have helped her get it in the house," Danny suggested, looking back over his shoulder as she leaned inside the truck, presumably scolding the boy. "Did she look familiar to you?"

"No." Steve answered the last question and then gave his reasoning for walking away. "I'm too tired. Maybe if they hadn't woken me up at six," he exaggerated. He took the cup of coffee off the top of the car and downed it before he got in on the passenger side. "That fucking house is cursed," he complained.

"Geez," Danny groaned, sliding into the driver's seat, "Are you going to be like this all day?"

"Maybe!" He pointed with his thumb over toward his new neighbors, "Blame them, not me."

Danny looked over his shoulder as he backed the car up past the moving truck unable to turn it around in the confined space.

Steve glanced over as the woman and the boy lifted each end of the couch and began to move it inside, watching them struggle with it. He peered inside the open front door not seeing anyone else, wondering then if there even was a husband or anyone for that matter to help them out. He looked back over at them as the boy dropped the end of the sofa, rubbing his hands together.

"Shit," Steve groaned. "Stop."

Danny stepped on the break, thinking he was about to hit something. "What?" He sat up looking over Steve's shoulder.

He motioned irritably over toward the truck. "Let's help them get that couch inside."

Danny put the car in park and laughed. "There's a sucker born everyday."

"It was your idea to begin with," he fired back.

"I knew if I drove by slow enough your guilt would take the bait." He ignored the snide look he was getting from his partner. "What? They're your new neighbors. So they aren't the most courteous people I've ever met, but have you ever heard of a good moving day? Show some of that 'Aloha Spirit' you're always bragging about."

"Alright," he whined, blowing out a deep breath before getting out. Perhaps he had been a little too abrupt with them, moving did suck.

They came around the truck seeing the boy sitting on the couch, arms crossed, pouting. His blond hair was in need of a cut while the sides of it were plastered to his head from sweating. He looked angry to say the least.

"Eric please," the woman pleaded, "Get up! You're being a spoiled little brat."

"Shut up!" he yelled furiously. "You are!"

Steve stopped; giving Danny the right of way as well as a look telling him this was a bad idea.

"Good morning again," Danny said. "We thought we'd just give you a hand getting that couch inside."

She glanced over at them, noticing for the first time the badges they wore on their hips and quickly shut them down. "No thanks. We can do it."

The boy reached his foot out and kicked her in the chin.

"Ouch!" She bent over, rubbing the spot and giving him a dirty look. "Knock it off," she growled with anger.

"Don't be stupid. Let them help us."

She looked back over at them visibly embarrassed, shaking her head. "Really, it's fine." She had one tone to her voice and it wasn't pleasant. "We can do it."

"You're so dumb," the boy mumbled.

"Eric!" she said through gritted teeth as if she were fed up with him.

"Oh for Christ sake," Steve said in the same tone, bending over and grabbing the bottom of the couch. He looked over at Danny angrily. "Are you going to help me or what?"

He turned away from the woman not able to shake the feeling that he'd seen her someplace before and bent over to pick up his end of the couch. He couldn't help but agree with Steve's thoughts that this was a bad idea.

Steve glared at the boy as he still sat on the sofa, staring at him. "Move!" Steve ordered using in his Navy Commander voice.

Eric's eyes flew open, recognizing the tone of authority that Steve was giving him. It reminded him of his father and he quickly slid off the couch, doing as he was told. He watched as they picked it up easily and moved it inside.

They set it down in the first open spot not offering to move it to it's designated area. They both just wanted out.

"Let's get out of here," Danny whispered to him as they came back outside.

"Gladly," Steve agreed.

They walked right past both of them, neither one speaking but Danny gave a so, so wave.

The boy walked around to the side of the truck and watched them. "Thanks," he yelled out.

Steve never turned but just held up a hand, letting him know they heard him.

Eric turned to the woman, giving her a dirty look. "You should have said thank you to them. I think they were Police Officers."

"I told them we didn't need help," she defended her actions, but knew he was right. She felt foolish now for her actions, knowing it was only because they wore badges.

"Yes we did," he countered as if her statement was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. "They could have helped get the big table out too! How are we going to get that out, wait until Jenny wakes up to help?!" he yelled sarcastically, stomping into the house.

Anna leaned back against the truck and bent over with her hands on her knees. "I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this," she mumbled over and over. "I have no idea what I'm doing." And just when she almost had herself convinced, she heard Jenny. The child screamed out from her room, but the cries weren't from a temper tantrum, they were real cries of pain and suffering, calling out for her absent Mom and Dad.

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Steve drove down his driveway after a long day of paperwork and meetings with the Governor that couldn't be postponed again. They were already over due because of the case they had been working on. He was relieved to see the moving truck gone and in its place was a black Lexus SUV. He thought it odd that a renter would own such a car whose monthly payments were probably half of what the rent was.

He glanced through the front window, not seeing anyone but could see boxes stacked up and the furniture not in any designated area.

He turned his truck off and was gathering up his things when a pounding on his car window startled him. He looked over, seeing a hand and then the boy, Eric, from earlier with a frantic look on his face.

Steve opened the door as the boy stepped back.

"We can't find my little sister!" His expression was borderline frantic. He glanced down at Steve's badge, double-checking from earlier that he was in reality a cop.

Steve squatted down, seeing the terror all over him. "Ok, tell me what happened."

"She," he stuttered, "she was there," he pointed toward the house, "and now we can't find her."

"How long as she been gone?"

He shook his head, trying to recall time. "I don't know, maybe a half hour."

Steve stood up, hearing the woman calling out the name Jenny over and over. "Is that your Mom?"

"She's not my Mom!" he quickly pointed out, even in this critical moment he wanted that to be clear. His voice turned just as quickly back to the concern for his little sister. "Can you help me find her?"

"Of course," he consoled him, putting a hand on his shoulder as he guided him back toward his house. "Has this happened before?"

"Yes. Sometimes she hides, but we can always find her."

"How old is she?"

"Five." The fright in his voice was becoming apparent as his eyes continued to search for her.

They came up to the house just as the woman was approaching from the backyard.

"Did you find her?" Eric asked.

"No." She looked at Steve, cringing at his presence and could only imagine what he must be thinking. "She does this a lot. She hides," Anna tried to explain.

"She never hid from my Mom!" Eric yelled.

Steve could see the hurt on her face over that statement. "We'll find her Eric."

"Jenny!" he screamed out, ignoring her promises, running over to the next-door neighbors house. "Jenny!"

"Is there a chance she was taken?" Steve hated to ask, but wanted to know if he should put out an Amber Alert on her instead of wasting more time.

She put her hands over her mouth but shook her head. "I don't think so. She was inside at the kitchen table eating and I just went upstairs for a minute, when I came back down she was gone."

"Ok, lets split up. You go over that way," he pointed toward the driveway that led out toward the main road, "and I'll go down toward the beach. You're sure you checked the house good?"

"Yes! Yes. Eric and I went over it twice." She turned and started walking backward. "She has blond hair and is wearing a pink shirt."

"I'm pretty sure she's the only five year old wandering around the neighborhood. If I see one, I'm sure it'll be her." He took off in the direction of the beach, taking the path that led between his house and the people directly next door. No sooner did he get around the corner did he see her sitting on one of his beach chairs down by the water. She kicked her legs back and forth and was humming, looking out at the water as if she didn't have a care in the world.

He came up and stood next to her. "Hi."

She looked up and he couldn't help but smile at the cute little face that still had traces of grape jelly at the corners of her mouth. The ponytail that held the bright blond hair had shifted and was barely hanging on.

"Hi," she responded exactly how he expected a five-year old too.

He squatted down next to the chair. "Is your name Jenny?"

The smile faded and she looked at him questionably, and then her expression turned firm. "I'm not supposed to talk to..." she trailed off as if she forgot the word stranger. "I don't know you."

"I'm Steve. I'm a Police Officer and I live here."

She looked over his shoulder at the house. "You do!" She just then saw his badge and gun. "You're a police occifer too?!"

"Yep," he nodded, seeing a slight resemblance of the woman in the beautiful little girl staring at him with wide eyes.

"Eric is looking for you. He's very worried."

"You know Eric?" she asked, wondering if that and being a policeman still made him off limits to talk to.

"Yes." He stood up and held his hand out to her. "Let's go back to your house. Everyone is looking for you."

She took his hand and slid off the chair, looking up at him as they walked, "Do you know my Daddy?"

He looked down as she stared up at him. "No honey I don't think so. Does he live in Hawaii?"

"He lives in heaven now," she blurted out as if not quite understanding what that fully meant.

He felt her grip tighten as she spoke the next words.

"My mommy lives there too with him."

His heart went out to her, beginning to understand also where the anger came from in her brother. He remembered feeling that way too after losing his parents, especially his Mom. "I'm sorry honey." He rubbed his thumb over her little hand. "Why did you run off?"

"I was hot. It feels nice over there." She turned and pointed toward his back yard.

"You shouldn't go near the water. It's dangerous. Can you swim?"

She nodded her head. "My Daddy taught me."

They came around the side of the house and Steve yelled out. "Hey! I found her."

He saw the woman come running from down the street and then Eric come flying past her. He ran up to his little sister and knelt down in front of her, hugging her.

"Don't do that!" he scolded her. "You can't just walk off!"

She scratched her arm as if what he was telling her meant nothing.

He shook her then. "Do you hear me?!"

"Hey," Steve said, "talk to her, don't scream at her. She's five. She doesn't understand what she did unless you explain it to her."

He looked up at him and then back down at his little sister. "Jenny, if you walk away and don't tell me where you're going it makes me really, really scared. I couldn't find you anywhere. If you want to go somewhere just tell me and I'll go with you. Ok?"

She bent over then and scratched a spot on her leg. "Ok. Can I have some ice cream?"

"No!" The woman came running up, "Don't do that anymore, Jenny," she scolded her.

Eric stood up and took her hand. "I already told her that. She knows." He pulled her along with him. "Come on. I'll get you some ice cream." He glared up at the woman as he walked past her.

Steve watched them walk off, seeing a bit of himself in Eric. He was the same way with Mary after their Mother had died. He was so angry at life, taking it out on his Dad and then boldly took the position of caregiver to his little sister, arguing with him constantly over it, up to the day they were sent away. He even wondered for years after that if their move to California wasn't because of him.

The woman shook her head, clearly irritated with both of them. She swiped the back of her hand across her sweaty forehead and then looked over at him as if just noticing he was there. "Sorry to have bothered you."

"It's no bother." He motioned toward the house. "Looks like you got your hands full."

"We're managing," she replied, eyeing him suspiciously, wondering if he were asking as a neighbor or as a cop. She always hated the way Daryl would try that reverse phycology crap on her.

He was beginning to understand why there was so much tension in the house. "I found her down close to the water," he said irritably." She said she knows how to swim but I'd hate for her to feel secure getting in the ocean alone. You should talk to her about that."

His advice didn't go over well. She didn't need another lecture on how bad of a job she was doing, Eric supplied plenty of that, and not to mention her own guilt was always on the brink of panic, frightened that she was failing the kids and just making their life worst during this crisis rather than better. She could never seem to find a common ground with them no matter how hard she tried. "I'll make sure she stays out of your yard, ok?"

"I don't care about that." Her attitude sucked. He was really feeling for those kids now. "If you haven't noticed we live on an island, there's water everywhere."

She took the sleeve of her shirt and wiped her sweaty face off. "Yes, I know that," she growled, not necessarily angry with him, but at yet another situation that she had lost control of. "Is it always so fricking hot here? This heat is a bitch!"

"A ceiling fan and a good attitude can make a world of difference," he scuffed and then turned walking back toward his house.

She stared angrily at his back over that remark as he walked off. "Jerk," she mumbled. '_Typical cop_,' she thought bitterly. '_They think they walk on water and everything they say is like the word of God._' She turned and went toward her house, not giving him another thought. It wasn't worth getting herself all worked up over in this heat. She had enough problems than having to please the next door neighbor now too.

"The heat isn't a bitch," Steve mumbled, "you are."

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Steve came out of his house the next morning just about to get in his truck when he heard his name being called by the sweetest little voice he'd ever heard. He leaned back glancing around the cab of the truck seeing Jenny come running over to him with Eric on her heels.

"Hi Steve!" she said happily, holding half a bagel with cream cheese spread over the top in her hand.

"Good Morning Jenny," he grinned.

"Jenny!" Eric said, catching up to her. "Leave him alone." He looked up at Steve, rolling his eyes.

She turned, giving her brother a dirty look. "It's ok, we're friends." She glanced back up at Steve. "Aren't we?"

"Yes. You can say hi to me anytime you want."

"Told you so," she said to Eric. "Where are you going?" she asked him.

"I have to go to work."

"Policeman work?"

"Yep."

She held her breakfast up to him. "Do you want a bite of my bagel?"

He chuckled over the sweet gesture and her adorable innocence. "No thank you." He patted his belly. "I just ate."

"What did you have?" she asked taking a bite of hers, leaving a smudge of the cream cheese on either side of her mouth.

"Stop being so nosy, Jenny," Eric sighed. "He doesn't want to answer all your dumb questions."

"Hey," Steve spoke up; "there's nothing wrong with asking questions. There's no such thing as a dumb question." He watched with wonderment as Eric and Jenny shot each other a look. They stared at each other for a few seconds before they both looked up at him, but it was Jenny that spoke.

"My Mommy said that." She looked at him curiously. "Are you sure you don't know my Mommy and Daddy?"

He wasn't sure what to say. She looked inquisitive, but Eric, he looked heartbroken, almost on the verge of tears. "You know I'm a police officer right?" he spoke to both of them but his attention was on Eric, who nodded. "If you need anything you can come over anytime you want, ok?"

"Can I go in your backyard?" Jenny asked.

Steve squatted down so he was eye level with her. "Not by yourself," he said firmly. "Do you understand me, Jenny?"

Her expression turned almost scared as if he were reprimanding her. She reached over and took her brother's hand. "I won't."

"But," he smiled, "if you want to come over when I'm there and maybe play in the water, well then you can. But only when I'm home, ok?"

Her smiled retuned and she did a tiny leap over her pleasure of the open invitation. "Ok," she replied happily.

He put and hand on her head and stood up. "Ok then. I have to get to work." He looked over and saw the woman standing on the front porch watching them. He made no attempt to wave and neither did she. He wanted to ask the kids who she was to them but thought it inappropriate. It wasn't his business.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve reached over and picked up his ringing cell phone seeing Danny's name on the display. "Hey, what's up?" He laid back down on the couch, muting the football game on the television.

"Are you home?" Danny asked him.

"Yes. Why?"

"Turn your TV to channel fifty five."

"Why? I'm watching the Navy game."

"Just do it," Danny badgered him.

Steve sighed heavily and sat up on the couch doing as he asked. "Ok, what am I looking at?" The screen displayed a movie from what he could decipher, but didn't know the name.

"Just hold on," Danny replied.

His patience was not all-together working in Danny's favor. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Right there," Danny blurted out, pointing at his own television. "The brunette in the white shirt."

Steve shook his head. "So."

"So!" Danny said as if it were a given. "Doesn't she look familiar to you?"

"Not particularly." Steve sighed again, barely giving it his attention, tired of this game and wondering if Navy had scored in the other game he was more interested in.

"God," Danny groaned. "For a good detective, you're a horrible neighbor."

"What?"

"Its your next door neighbor! The woman with the kids," he announced.

Steve paused the TV and leaned a little closer, seeing the resemblance past the dark hair and heavy makeup against the blond next door. "Oh yea. I think you're right."

"I know I'm right. I told you she looked familiar."

"Who is she?" Steve asked, a little intrigued now.

"I don't know," Danny replied and then yelled out for his daughter. "Gracie, come here!"

She appeared at the end of the hallway. "What Danno?"

He pointed at the TV, "Whose is that?"

She glanced at the TV and didn't hesitate, "The actor? Liam Hemsworth."

"No," he corrected her, "the girl.

"Alyssa Jordan."

"Alyssa Jordan," he said to Steve and then chuckled. "Hey Partner. You have a full blown movie star living right next door to you."

He could hear Gracie's excitement in the background over that.

"Alyssa Jordan lives next door to Uncle Steve?!"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Yea that's exciting. I'll talk to you later. I'm missing my game." He hung up and switched back to the Navy game, resuming his stretched out position on the couch. "Crap!" he groaned seeing the score had gone up seven points in his favor. He'd missed the touchdown. The channel went to commercial and he switched back to the movie.

He watched the dialogue between the two actors as they sat huddled in the forest, hiding from something or someone, that part was obvious. He watched the actress as she performed her lines, convincing him she really was frightened. He had to admit, she was pretty good, and even with the dirt streaks on her face he couldn't help but notice the beautiful features, not connecting her to the same person that lived next door even though they were one in the same. The name Alyssa Jordan sounded familiar but he really wasn't one for the latest Hollywood movies anyway, not that he didn't enjoy a good movie every now and then; he just hadn't seen a trailer to one that held his interest.

Becky had dragged him to a couple that he was told he would enjoy, but on the contrary he had to pretend not to be bored through it. He'd never seen one of Alyssa Jordan's movies and was already bored with this one as well, switching the channel back to the game.

An hour later and well into the fourth quarter, with eight seconds remaining he heard a soft knock at his front door.

"Damn." He sat up and paused the game as the opposing team readied themselves on the three-yard line, potentially trying to win the game with one last touchdown attempt.

He held the remote and answered the door, looking straight ahead, not seeing anyone at first and then looking down seeing Jenny smiling up at him.

"Hi Steve. Can I go in your back yard?" she asked, wearing a blue poke-a-dotted bathing suit and holding a small hand towel in her hand.

"Hi Jenny." He looked past her toward her own home. "Does anyone know you're here?"

She looked over her shoulder at her house. "Eric is reading and my Aunt is on the phone." She looked back up at him. "You said I could go in your back yard if you were home. I asked first like you told me too," she reminded him.

He looked back down at her, recalling his words that she had remembered perfectly. He glanced back over at the TV that was still on pause.

"Can I?" she asked again.

"Sure" he caved unable to turn her away. "Just hold on one second, ok?"

She jumped excitedly over his answer. "Ok!"

He stepped back and resumed the football game, watching his beloved Navy team hold off the offensive line and the clock run out. He smiled happily and shut the TV off. "Ok," he smiled down at her. "Let's go over and make sure it's ok first. All right?"

"Ok." She reached up and took his hand out of habit as he closed the door to his house. The unexpected gesture caught him off guard but he obliged her anyway, wondering if it was something she often did with her deceased father, feeling that horrible loss for her once again.

Eric sat up on the couch as Steve peeked his head inside the front door, still holding Jenny's hand as she stood just outside. "Hey, Eric. Jenny knocked on my door wanting to go for a swim. I wasn't sure you knew where she was."

He scooted off the couch, "I thought she was in her room."

Steve came in the rest of the way as he glanced up the stairs seeing the woman come down. She was talking on her cell phone to someone that had her rattled. He remembered the movie he'd seen her in earlier and could defiantly see the resemblance now. The delicate features were unmistakable. It was her all right. He hated to admit it but she looked better off screen than on.

"I know. I know!" she said into the phone, letting out a deep sigh. "Will you please stop reminding me of that? It's not like you've been a great help in all of this. I know you're busy but I have a life too." She saw him then and stopped on the last step. "I have to go. I'll call you later." She went to hang up and directed her attention back to the phone conversation. "Seriously with that! Then tell Daryl to keep it handy. We need to talk and you can't keep putting me off." She looked back over at Steve. "I have to go." She hung up, taking that last step. "What can I help you with?" she asked him as if he were there for a favor. She regretted the not so friendly greeting, but was still irritated by the phone conversation and only getting a couple of hours sleep the night before. She didn't need any more complications, wondering if the kids had done something that called for his presence in her doorway.

She scanned his attire, seeing him for the first time without his gun strapped to his hip. He looked comfortable in the basketball shorts and blue T-shirt that had a picture of a sunset and the word Hawaii scrolled across the front. His face was void of a morning shave, which also caught her attention. He could have been mistaken for a movie star on Hollywood boulevard, she thought. He would have got a second glance that was for sure.

He put his hand on Jenny's head. "She came over and asked if she could go swimming."

She looked down giving Jenny a playful stink eye. "What did I tell you Jenny?"

She moved closer to Steve until her body was against his leg. "But he's my friend and he said I could."

"Its really no big deal," he defended her. He looked in Eric's direction. "You can come too if you want." He glanced back at the woman. "If its alright with you? I mean, I'm a cop, but if you don't feel comfortable with it then just say so." His next words were strictly for the kid's sake. "You can come too," he paused, the tone of his voice a little too dry, "if that would help the cause." His invitation was put out there, but she quickly caught on the meaning behind it.

Eric looked over at her for permission. "Can we?"

She was irked by his lame invitation, not that she wanted to accept it anyway but it still was rude she thought. She did however want to take advantage of the peace and quiet, but wasn't sure about letting Jenny and Eric go with him alone or not. She wondered what her brother would say if he were there. She knew Steve was a Police Officer and knew she could probably trust him, and if it were anyone else's kids she would have told them '_yes, don't be so paranoid, of course you can trust him. Enjoy the free time_.' But they weren't someone else's kids and that first sign of parenthood was nagging her now. "I don't know."

Steve understood her apprehension. She didn't know him and just letting the kids go with him would have been reckless in his eyes, even though he knew there was nothing for her to fear.

"Please!" Jenny begged, jumping up and down. "Pretty please! It's so hot," she whined.

"Come on," Eric joined in, "be fun for once. You never want to do anything."

That statement alone hit her hard. It wasn't that she didn't want to do anything; she was usually just too exhausted to do anything, not realizing just how hard it was to take care of two kids on your own. "Fine," she agreed, looking over at Steve. "I'll come too." She motioned toward the upstairs to Eric. "Go find your swim suit."

"Yes!" Eric tore past her up the stairs as Jenny did a small leap.

"Yippee!"

The woman forced a grin, imitating the child's word but not the enthusiasm. "Yippee."

Steve said nothing, feeling the same way she did. What had started out, as a nice lazy afternoon on his couch had turned into a beach party in his backyard, with one of the attendees not necessarily invited, but he knew it was for the best. He didn't feel comfortable being alone with just Eric and Jenny either. It was a shame, but in the times they lived in you had to be cautious from both sides.

He didn't know anything about this woman except that she was an actress; a smart ass and all together carried an attitude that was a pain in his ass. Like the other previous women in his life he was sure she could cause havoc at a moments notice and didn't need anyone accusing him of something heinous because he wanted to be a nice guy.

Still, the attitude toward him was unfair. He wondered if she was accustomed to a more lavish lifestyle in Hollywood and the accommodations of this house were making her bitter. '_Poor little thing_,' he thought sarcastically but held a grin on his face.

"Jenny," she said to the child, seeing the small towel in her hand. "Will you please go in the laundry room and get two big towels out of the dryer for you and Eric?"

"Ok," she said happily, running down the hall.

Once out of earshot she stepped closer to Steve. "I'm sorry if they are inconveniencing you. We won't stay long. Jenny can be a bit of handful. I'll make sure she doesn't bother you anymore."

"What makes you think it's a bother?"

She tilted her head just slightly, questioning his earlier invitation. "It's not a bother?"

"I like Eric and Jenny."

She put her hands on her hips. "Oh, I see. Its just me you don't like."

"I get the feeling it's mutual."

"Well I apologize if your feelings got hurt neighbor, but I'm in the middle of a life changing crisis right now and doing my best to make two kid's life as normal as possible since theirs too have been turned upside down, so I apologize again if you got your feelings hurt. I can only deal with so many lives at once." _'Damn,' _she thought. She'd done it again. What was it about this guy that made her lose her temper? She was starting to sound like her sister. That she didn't like.

She was about to apologize when he started in on her this time.

"Yea," he replied crossing his arms. "I guess this isn't Oz anymore is it? Can't snap your fingers here and expect everyone to kiss your ass or move your furniture because we should feel obliged by the new movie star that moved in next door." He twirled his finger in the air. "Yippee."

She put her hands over her mouth and started to laugh. "Oh my God," she chuckled.

Steve narrowed his eyes, becoming more irritated by her. "Not use to being put in your place, are ya?"

She lowered her hands and glared at him. "I'm not Alyssa Jordan."

It was he who wanted to laugh now. Did she think he was too dumb to notice the resemblance or was she just trying to hide her identity? Either way he didn't give a shit.

"Sure your not." He looked past her up the stairs and down the hall wishing the kids would hurry back.

"You think I look just like her, don't you?"

"Look," he let out a long, bored sigh, "as of two hours ago I had no idea who Alyssa Jordan was until my partner pointed you out on some movie on TV, so if you want to pretend you're not her, then fine by me, but I'm a detective and I work everyday by matching mug shots up with the real person and you can't stand there and tell me you're not the same person I saw on the TV."

They both turned as Jenny came down the hallway holding two large brown towels in her arms.

"Hey Jenny," she said to the child. "Aunt Alyssa said to give you a big hug. She misses you."

"Is she coming soon?" Jenny asked.

"As soon as she can get a break in her movie schedule." She took the towels from Jenny as Eric came scooting down the stairs. She looked at Steve's confused expression, stopping next to him before walking out the door. "Sorry to disappoint you Sherlock Holmes but I'm Anna Jordan, Alyssa is my twin sister."

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Eric and Jenny splashed in the gentle waves that rolled up on the beach as Steve came and sat down in the chair next to Anna. He rested his elbows on his knees and looked over at her, knowing he probably owed her an apology but also knew she owed him one as well, deciding he'd be the bigger of the two and offer his first. "I'm sorry about what I said back there."

She sat with her legs curled up on the chair, surprised over his apology. She wasn't used to men admitting when they were wrong, especially men that looked like him. "It's ok, it happens a lot." She couldn't quite figure him out. He seemed genuinely sorry, but then again he always seemed like he was irritated with her for some reason or another. She got lost in the moment of trying to decipher him not realizing he was waiting for the same apology from her.

He waited and realized it wasn't coming. "I accept your apology too," he stood up to go back down to the water.

"What?"

He turned and looked down at her. "This is generally where you would apologize to me for coming across short tempered and rude over the last couple of days since I met you. I understand what's going on over at your house is difficult, and none of my business, but it's not my fault either and so far I've helped you twice," he paused, "no wait, three times if you count today, and not once have you even attempted to get my name. I'm just the chump that lives next door."

She felt her body flush as she watched him walk back down to the beach. She hated to admit it but he was right. She only knew his name because of Jenny. She suddenly did feel like the bitch next door. She'd been so consumed over feeling sorry for herself over her dilemma and caring for the kids that she hadn't noticed maybe his attitude towards her was well deserved. The kids liked him and he seemed to like them as well. Maybe she had better lighten up. This was a small island and so far she had alienated the one and only person she knew on it, who also happened to be her next-door neighbor. She had to admit that she had judged him at first because he was a Police Officer. Her ex boyfriend, Daryl, was an LA cop until he became Alyssa's bodyguard and... "_Bastards!_" she thought bitterly. "_Both of them_."

She looked at Steve as he stood by the water talking to Eric, realizing that she didn't like people judging her on her twin sister's actions, so she thought it unfair to do the same to someone else just because they held the same job.

She pushed herself out of the chair and came down on the beach as he tossed a football into the water to Eric. He dove to the side, catching it as he went under. She stood next to him. "I'm sorry." She reached her hand across her belly to him. "I'm Anna."

He looked over at her and smiled, shaking her hand. "Hi Anna, I'm Sherlock Holmes, but you can call me Steve."

She chuckled over that and squatted down to Jenny who rolled around in the soft sand. "Look at you crazy girl. Let's get in the water and get cleaned off."

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Steve came out the back door carrying four pops in his hands, as Anna was drying Jenny's hair off and Eric sat on the edge of the grass staring out at the water.

"Eric!" he called out and then tossed him a can of Coke as he turned.

"Thanks," he smiled, catching it and popping the top open.

Steve came up to Jenny and Anna and opened a can of Root Beer for Jenny.

She had the large towel wrapped around her shoulders and took the can happily with both hands that were tucked around the towel and thanked him before taking a drink.

He handed the next can of Coke to Anna. "Is regular OK? I don't have any diet."

She took the can. "Yes, thanks. I'm not like my sister. I don't have a strict diet rule. Thank God," she declared taking a drink.

"Chasing around two kids would be enough of a workout and calorie burner anyway," he said, taking a drink of his own Root Beer.

"If that's the case then I should be in the best shape of my life," Anna huffed.

He didn't reply but just smiled, not wanting to pry into her personal life that seemed on the brink of chaos just about every time he'd had an encounter with her. She had on the same pair of running shorts the day they'd met and a pink T-shirt with a black sports bra underneath that was apparent after she made her way out of the water. She was stunning even with the dripping wet hair and sparkles of sand that were stuck to her face. The red-blooded male in him couldn't help but notice that, but it was his head that kept in him in tact. She was complicated and so was her situation and he didn't need any more complications in his life right now, especially so close to home. The breakup with Becky was on the downside of the hill he had to get over, but he still had no intentions of getting involved with anyone for a while.

But still, she had his libido going; there was no denying that.

She took another drink of her pop and looked at him over the rim of the can as he made his way down to Eric who was still sitting on the edge of the grass. Her eyes roamed over his backside as his wet shorts clung to him, admiring the shape of it. His broad shoulders were also visible under the dry shirt he had on. He'd only gone waist deep in the water and she recalled annoyingly how she had watched with anticipation of him removing the object to get a look at the abs which she knew where tight, but to her avail they never made an appearance. Still, what she did get a peek at was quite pleasing to the eye. It had been months since she'd had the attention of a man and even then Daryl wasn't much of a man. Their love making always seemed to be over just as she was getting started.

She glanced up toward the house and for the first time wondered what Steve's situation even was. She couldn't imagine him being single. Someone like him back in Hollywood would have girls crawling out of his room left and right. But she didn't notice other cars in his driveway either, except for that other guy whom she presumed was his partner. She bit her bottom lip, wondering if they were gay. She quickly put that out of her head. In California sometimes it was hard to make that assumption, but she somehow knew that wasn't their lifestyle.

He looked like the type of man that her sister would have on her arm; he certainly could compete physically with anyone in Hollywood she could think of off the top of her head, yet he was nothing like the men she had encountered back home. '_Home_,' she thought sadly, glancing at her surroundings. This was her home now. The kids were having a hard enough time as it was that she didn't have the heart to move them to LA. This was their home, even if they lived on Oahu now instead of Maui.

Her attention was diverted back to Steve as Jenny went up with the towel still wrapped around her shoulders and stood next to him. Anna was surprised at his attentiveness as he reached down and put a hand on her head even though his attention was on Eric. It was as if he wanted the child to know he knew she was there.

'_No_,' she thought, '_he was nothing like the men she knew back home_.' She closed her eyes and shook her head, reliving her bitterness towards him once again, feeling the guilt rise up. The real painful part was realizing she was acting just like her sister. She had made the conscious choice to stay behind and take care of Eric and Jenny, it was no ones fault and she had better start owning up to that. She opened her eyes and looked at him again as he threw another perfect spiral into Eric's arms, encouraging him with applause on a good catch. '_He certainly didn't deserve her backlash_,' she thought.

She went to get up and be social with them when she felt a tug on the bottom of her shirt, "What Jenny?"

"I'm hungry."

"Ok," she stroked her damp hair and glanced over at the two boys as Steve showed Eric how to properly hold a football. "Eric," she called out, "we should take off and let Steve salvage the rest of his afternoon."

Steve put a hand on Eric's back and pressed the football against his chest. "You can take it home and practice with it if you want."

He looked up at him with a bright smile. "Ok. Thanks! I won't lose it."

He patted his shoulder. "I know."

"Can we have scabetti for dinner," Jenny asked, wiping her nose on the towel after a drip of root beer had got on it.

"Spaghetti," Anna corrected her. "We'll see."

The little girl turned to Steve. "Do you like scabetti?"

He had an idea she was going to offer up a dinner invitation and wanted to quickly shut it down, but before he could, Anna did it for him.

Steve doesn't want to have spaghetti with us," she declared slightly annoyed with her, putting a hand on Jenny's back and scooting her toward the side of the house and the exit to the backyard. "Let's go. Eric," she said to the boy, motioning for him to come along. She did it thinking she was helping Steve out but truly she was mortified that he might say yes and to her dismay she had no idea how to cook spaghetti, or pretty much anything for that matter. She could boil the water and open a can of sauce, but the last time she had made it, which was also her first time, Eric and Jenny both criticized the uncooked noodles and sauce that wasn't like their Mother's. Anna was pretty sure that her brother's wife Kim was an exceptional cook compared to her.

She glanced over her shoulder as she hustled the children out. "Bye, thanks for the pop."

He stood watching them as they turned the corner of the yard, hearing Eric in the distance acknowledge with annoyance that he was coming and for her not to push him. Steve infuriatingly raised his hand and as if saying goodbye but they were already gone. "Yea! See ya later." He shook his head at her once again rude behavior that seemed to be a norm for her. He bent down and angrily scooped up his own towel and pulled the chairs back from the water.

He didn't want to have dinner with them anyway but was riled that he wasn't given the opportunity to decline if it was thrown at him, or maybe it was the fact that she was so adamant about not wanting an invitation to be given that made him so angry. He liked Jenny and Eric immensely, never experiencing any kind of the same rudeness or improper behavior that Anna displayed, except for that first day when they moved in. He understood now Eric's frustration that day with her. He only hoped that none of it rubbed of on either of the two kids.

Eric pulled his arm away from her grip, still holding the football. "Let go! Why were you in such a hurry to leave?"

"I want Steve to have dinner with us," Jenny blurted out, trying to keep up with her Aunt's long legs.

"Not tonight," Anna said, feeling foolish now for making such a quick get away.

"Why don't you like him?" Eric asked annoyed.

She stopped abruptly, "I never said I didn't like him." She looked down at the two children who stared up at her questioning the accuracy of that statement; even Jenny noticed the odd behavior.

Anna felt like she had taken a step forward by going with them today and playing in the water, they had had a good time together, but her actions just then had sent them hurdling back to where she felt like the enemy again. She couldn't win for trying she thought bitterly. "I like him. I think he's a nice guy, but seriously Eric, you ate my spaghetti, do you really think I want to invite someone over to eat that?"

"I like your scapetti," Jenny voiced up. "Its chewy."

"It's not the spaghetti," Eric told his sister. "She doesn't like anyone! She doesn't even like us!" He took the football and hurled it at the front door. It missed completely and went through the front window instead, crashing glass all over the floor on the other side. He bypassed the door and ran around to the side yard.

"Eric!" Anna yelled out, not so much about the window but over his words. She let go of Jenny and followed him around to the back of the house and watched him climb up a tree that was situated in the far end of the backyard. He sat on a branch with his arms crossed.

She watched him, not sure what to say. She decided to let him sit and calm down for a while and then talk to him. She felt Jenny next to her as she looked down at the little girl's sad expression.

"Don't you like me Aunt Anna?"

She knelt down in front of her and cupped her face with her hands. "Of course I like you. I love you. I love you very much." She was pleased that got a smile so she did one extra and hugged her tightly too. "I love you and Eric both very much."

"Is he going to get a spanking for breaking the window?"

Anna pulled back and shook her head at the look on Jenny's face, fearing for her brother. "No," she answered passively. "Sometimes we do things out of anger by mistake. I think that was an accident." She looked over at him as he continued to stare out toward the water that was high enough to see from the tree. At the moment she was at a loss as what to say to him, or how she would convince him as she did the little girl that she did love him. They were all going through a change, but more so them, she had to keep that in perspective.

"You know what?" Anna said.

"What?" Jenny replied.

"Forget spaghetti for dinner. I need some ice cream. What do you say?"

Her smile got even brighter. "Ok! Eric," she yelled out when Anna stopped her.

"Let's just let him be for a while."

"Can he still have some when he comes down?"

"Yes," Anna smiled. The love she had for her older brother was touching, wishing her sister had that same kind for her. Eric and Jenny displayed kindness towards each other on a daily basis. She wasn't sure if it came about because of losing their parents or if they had been like that all the time; it didn't matter either way, it was nice to watch. She and Alyssa had never been that close, even though they were twins. She had always felt like the awkward one and was more comfortable standing in the shadow of her much more glamorous and out spoken sister. The only thing she hated more than being mistaken as Alyssa Jordan was her sister constantly reminding her that she wasn't either.

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Steve came down the stairs to the knocking on his front door. He opened it to see Anna standing there in a pair of tight black yoga pants and a blue T-shirt; her blond hair up in a high ponytail. She shooed away a bug that hovered around the porch light.

"Hi," she smiled uneasily.

He leaned against the doorframe and forced a neighborly smile back. "I haven't had this many visitors in three days since Kristy Yun told the school I had backstage passes to the U2 concert."

Anna looked at him quizzically, " What?"

He shook his head, "Nothing. What can I do for you, Anna?" he ended it with a sigh.

She looked down uncomfortably, wishing she didn't have to do this but she felt helpless and knew he could probably help. He was her last hope. "I was wondering if…" she shifted her weight and rubbed her hand over the back of her neck. "I'm having a little trouble, um."

Steve sighed again, getting impatient with her. "Spit it out please."

She looked up at him, wanting to turn around and leave, but knew she had to ask for the sake of Eric. "Eric climbed up a tree about four hours ago and he won't come down and he won't talk to me." Her expression softened. "Do you think maybe you could talk to him? I know he likes you. He respects you, and you're a guy." She looked over her shoulder in the direction of the house and then back at him as he went past her, closing the door behind him. She watched with surprise as he strolled across the yard toward the problem not even giving it a second thought.

She ran up beside him, "He's in the backyard tree."

"I figured that," he pointed up in that direction, "It's the only tree tall enough in the neighborhood to climb high enough to get away from things."

She looked around, just noticing that herself. "Oh right." She trailed slightly behind him as they approached the backyard. "Don't you even want to know why he climbed up there?"

Steve glanced toward the front window that still had shards of glass in the pane. "Did he do that?"

Anna stopped, "Yes. He threw the football. I think he meant to hit the door, but he was mad at me."

Steve kept walking as she talked, disappearing around the side of the house. "Give me a few minutes with him."

Anna heard the tone of his voice that wasn't a request, but a demand for her to stay away.

Eric looked down hearing the branches creek and was about to yell to Anna to stay away when he saw who it was. His body stiffened as Steve made his way up to him and then planted himself on a branch a couple feet away.

He didn't say anything at first but looked around from what was visible in the three-quarter moon at the view that hadn't changed all that much since he was a kid. "I used to climb up here when I was your age."

"You did?" Eric asked astounded over that. "In this tree?"

"Yep. There was an older couple that lived here. They didn't mind." He looked over at him then. "I spent a lot of time up here after my mom died."

That astounded him even more. The two boys stared at each over that. Steve could see tears forming in Eric's eyes.

"I miss my mom and dad," he whimpered.

"I know you do," Steve replied sadly, knowing all too well what he was feeling. "It's a hard and crappy thing that you and Jenny have to go through. No one expects you to over come that anytime soon. Jenny is young and doesn't fully understand, but you," he reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm a big brother too."

"Sometimes she wakes up crying for my mom and dad," he confessed. "Anna doesn't hear her so I go in and tell her it's ok." His face turned angry, "Anna doesn't know how to take care of us! She can't even cook spaghetti. That's why she didn't want you to come over. She's so dumb!" he spat.

"Hey!" Steve scolded him. "She's here. She's trying. As far as I can see she doesn't have any kids of her own, so this is all new to her too. How would you feel after playing football for the first time to be thrown into the Super Bowl as quarterback and be expected to win?"

Eric caught his analogy and shrugged. "I don't know, not good I guess."

"Do you think she's trying, or do you think she's doing a horrible job?" He wasn't sure of the emotional or physical conditions of what went on in that house and needed to get an idea from him. He was in this now. Anna had invited him into their problems and he wasn't about to walk away if there were serious issues that needed public assistance from either Child Services or the law.

Eric shrugged again. "I don't know. I guess she's doing ok. She doesn't do things like my mom did."

"Like what?"

"She can't cook anything. Even my Mac and Cheese is runny like soup and she washed my shirt I got in Disneyland and it has bleach spots on it now."

Steve smiled, relived it was simple things that had him the most rattled. Anna could be difficult but he was beginning to see her side of it as well, wanting to show Eric that he was lucky to have someone. "Is she here every night when you go to bed?"

He looked over at him, "Yes."

"Is she here when you wake up in the morning?"

"Yes," he wasn't sure what that had to do with anything.

"Does she spend the day here taking care of you and Jenny?"

"Yes, but sometimes she gets grumpy and goes in her room. I can hear her talking to herself, but I can't hear what she's saying."

Steve chuckled over that, knowing all too well she was probably letting off some steam, impressed that she chose to do it behind closed doors. "Does she ever say she wants to leave?"

Eric thought about that for a second before he answered. "No. She has to be here. She can't leave," he declared as if it was the law.

"Ok," Steve said agreeably. "Let's just think about this for a second. She was probably living in LA before this right?"

"Yes. She worked with my Aunt Alyssa."

"Ok, so she probably had a pretty exciting life living in Hollywood, you think?"

He shrugged.

"Is she your mom's sister or your dad's?"

"My dads."

"So when her brother dies, she selfishly drops her life in LA and flies across the ocean leaving everything behind to take care of you and Jenny. I know this is hard for you and Jenny Eric, but having to jump in and fill the shoes of both a mom and a dad is hard too, especially when you've never had kids of your own. Her life is just as confusing as yours is right now. Do you get that?"

He toyed with a piece of bark on the tree, "I guess."

"Maybe you should cut her some slack. Do you know what that means?"

He nodded, "Be nicer to her?"

"Yes, and maybe help her out some too. Don't be so judgmental. She's not going to do things like your mom did, she's not your mom, but she's trying the best she can. Do you agree with that?"

He sighed and then reluctantly agreed. "I guess. She was fun today in the water."

"See," he smiled. "She has her moments."

"She broke the oven, "Eric chuckled.

"She broke the oven?" he laughed with him.

"She was making some kind of food and smoke started coming out." he started to laugh harder, "The alarms in the house were going off and she was running around with the broom, knocking them off the wall. It was so funny. Jenny and me were laughing so hard. It won't open now. The stuff is still in there. Maybe the oven didn't want us to have to eat it."

They both busted up over that.

"I'll take a look at it," Steve chuckled. "What are you going to do about the window?"

Eric bit his bottom lip, having forgotten about that. "It was an accident," he confessed quickly. "I didn't mean to do it."

"I know. So does Anna."

"Is she mad?"

"No. She was more concerned about you not coming down from here. She was pretty worried."

He looked toward the house, not seeing her as she stood at the kitchen window watching them. "I guess she's not so bad."

"So, what are you going to do about the window?"

"I can't pay for it. I don't have any money."

"What do you think your dad would have said about this?"

He thought that over for a minute before answering. He could have lied and said 'nothing', but he didn't want to lie to Steve. It would have felt really wrong, as if he were actually lying to his father. "I think he would have made me do extra stuff to pay for it," he sighed.

"Maybe you can work it off by doing extra chores that Anna does. You think that would be fair?"

He shrugged.

"Hey, look at me," he said sternly. "Do you think that would be a fair deal? Yes or no?"

Eric heard the adamant tone and looked him right in the eye, remembering how his father would demand the same action. "Yes, I think that's fair."

"Ok then. Are you ready to get down," he shifted uneasily on the branch, "because my butt is killing me and I'm not sure how long this branch is going to hold out?"

Eric laughed, "Ok."

Steve was down before Eric had barely begun to make the climb. He stood at the bottom watching him just incase, knowing he had to be stiff too, he'd been up there a long time.

"You don't have to fix the oven right away you if you don't want too," Eric said.

"Why not?"

He sat on the bottom branch just above Steve's head. "The cooking will be back! I'd be willing to do chores at your house too if you don't fix it."

They both started laughing as Steve reached up and pulled on his leg, catching him as he fell and then set him down. "Don't be a wise guy," he chuckled, playfully smacking him in the head.

Anna smiled as she saw them come down from the tree, wondering what it was that Steve had said to him that not only got him down but had changed his mood altogether as she heard him laugh. Whatever it was she was grateful and relieved she had asked for his help. She came out the backdoor as they approached the house. She looked sheepishly at Eric not sure if the same mood was going to extend to her.

"I'm sorry I broke the window," he said apologetically.

"That's ok," Anna smiled. "I think it was an accident anyway."

"I can't pay for it, but I can do other stuff."

Anna shook her head; the apology alone was worth the money to her. "Let's just forget about it."

Eric looked up at Steve pleased that he'd got out of having to do extra chores, but the look he got from the man standing over him told him he needed to pay up anyway. "I should still do the chores, huh?" he asked him guiltily.

"What do you think?"

He thought about their talk in the tree and what his father would have said, knowing his dad wouldn't have let him off so easy. He looked back up at Anna. "I'll do extra chores to pay for it."

She was startled by that and looked over at Steve as he raised an eyebrow and stared at her as if telling her to except and not let him off. She got the quaint gesture and nodded. "Ok, I think that would be fair. Thank you Eric." She motioned toward the house. "I made some Mac and Cheese. Why don't you heat it up in the microwave and then get ready for bed."

Eric looked over his shoulder at Steve rolling his eyes at the words Mac and Cheese. They both chuckled as Steve gently pushed him toward the door. "Go eat your soup."

Anna put her hands on her hips, "So that's what you talked about up there, my cooking?" She tilted her head and huffed. "I didn't put very much milk in it so it's not runny." She looked up at Steve as Eric went by her into the house. "I admit I'm not the best cook. As a matter of fact I can't really cook much of anything that kids would like."

"You'd be surprised at what kids would eat. It's all in the presentation."

"And you know this how?" She wondered then if he had kids, divorced perhaps. "Do you have kids?"

"No, my little sister was a picky eater. My mom and dad found ways around that."

"Hmm," she couldn't get a fix on him. The mystery that surrounded this man made her curious more than anyone she'd ever met.

Steve pointed into the kitchen. "Eric said the oven broke?"

"Oh," Anna smiled uneasily. "Kind of. I can't get the door open. I had to unplug it."

"Let me take a look," he went to go past her and she stopped him.

"You don't have to do that, really it's ok."

"It'll only take a second." He had a good idea of what the problem was.

"I was going to call someone."

"Why call someone when I'm right here?"

"I don't want to impose anymore, you've already done enough." It wasn't that she didn't want the oven fixed but she was feeling the humility that would go along with what the problem was, knowing it was going to be something silly that she had done. She wasn't good with humiliation lately; having left LA with it nipping at her heals, all having to do with her sister and ex-boyfriend.

He looked at her oddly; it was as if she didn't want him in her home at all. For the second time that day she had dismissed him. "What is it about me that you find so distasteful that you don't want me around, yet you come running over at the first sign of trouble?"

She'd done it again, trying to backtrack and explain herself. "You're a police officer," she said as if reminding him, "that's why I went to you. But…" she began when he cut her off.

"Oh," he took a step back, putting a hand on his chest, "I get it now. You're one of those people that like cops around when it's convenient, but us as everyday neighbors," his voice becoming bitter, "we're just second class citizens that should be seen and not heard." He walked toward the side of the house. "Thanks for clarifying that."

She stood there in shock over his words that weren't true by a long shot, but it was undeniable that she had treated him that way. "Wait!" she called out, going in that direction when she heard the side gate slam shut. She turned and ran through the house to the front door. "Steve wait," she pleaded. "Please," she said again as he finally stopped in the middle of the yard.

"You know what?" he started to laugh in a sarcastic way. "I know some people find cops repulsive and for the most part unpleasant to be around, that's just a fact of life, but I've never quite experienced it so blatantly as I have since meeting you."

She took a step toward him, "Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound that way." The look on his face was unmoved to her plea as if he had rolled his eyes at her. "I don't see you that way. I did in the beginning but I don't now. I just…" she contradicted herself, feeling flustered.

He said nothing but stood there giving her about five seconds and asking himself in that timeframe why he was even giving her that. "Look, I'll make this easy for you. I don't like you either," he pointed toward the house, "but I like those kids and I don't want to see them get lost in the turbulence that they're living in now. So if you…"

That set her off, "What turbulence are you speaking of?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You have no idea what you're doing. Just admit it. It would be more admirable of you if you did that than try to pretend that you're Mother of the Year. I know you're not, and fore sure those two kids up there know you're not."

She pointed angrily toward his house. "Why don't you just go home and leave us alone then."

He took two long strides over to her so as not to have to raise his voice and mistakenly have Jenny or worse yet Eric overhear them. "Le's get something straight right here right now! I didn't invite myself into your problem tonight, you did, and now that I'm here don't think for a second that I'm just going to walk away and go in my house and pretend that there's nothing going on next door. Those kids need a second set of eyes on them and that's going to be me."

She felt the words of her sister and everyone else that had tried to convince her that she shouldn't take this on through his vicious words. "You have no right to say that!"

Steve leaned in glaring at her through his anger and frustration, "Not only do I have the right, Lady, I have the authority. You've got a cop living next door whether you like it not."

If she could have slapped him she would have. She was wrong about him, he was just like Daryl, ready to stab her in the back the first chance he got. "You go ahead and watch all you want!" she spat. "If you try to take those kids away from me…" she stopped there, overcome with anger and the fear that he might actually do that. She walked backward away from him. "I may not know how to cook, do laundry or clean a house the way it should be but I know how to love, and I love those kids. So look all you want. You won't be able to accuse me of that." She turned around and went in the house, closing the door.

He could hear the locks being bolted and then the light shut off, leaving him standing there in the dark, growling under his breath, convinced that that house was possessed, because for some odd reason or another every person that occupied it had some sort vendetta against him.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve and Danny drove up his driveway around lunchtime and waved back at Eric as he sat on his knees in the front yard pulling weeds and dragging a black garbage bag behind him for the debris.

They got out of the Camaro and Steve yelled over at him. "Hey, is this part of your chores for the window?"

Eric stood up and made his way over to them. "No, I like pulling weeds, so I thought I would just do it for the heck of it," he smiled at his clever answer.

Steve put an arm around his neck and put him in a headlock. "I told you Danny, he's a smart-aleck."

They all laughed as Eric tried to get out of the grip while Steve walked toward his house, holding him in place. "C'mon smarty boy, try and get out of this one."

Danny came around the front of them. "This is how you get out." He put a hand on Eric's back, pushing him down and then took ahold of his left ankle, "Bend over and move your foot behind his leg like this." Eric followed the guided movement. "And then just slip your head out once his arm is pushed back." He let go of him and let him try.

"C'mon tough guy," Steve tormented. "Let's see that move."

Eric did as he was instructed and pulled his head out, jumping back away from him laughing and pointing. "I did it! I did it! You are so weak!"

Steve went to lunge for him when Danny grabbed his arm and pulled it behind his back, kicking his leg out from under him and bringing him to his knees. "Run Eric!"

They all three were laughing as Steve reached over his shoulder and grabbed Danny by the neck, trying to flip him over his shoulder. Eric jumped in on the game and put Steve in a headlock this time.

"You're under arrest!" he shouted as they laughed over their playful antics.

Jenny came out of the house and saw what was happening and came running across the yard. She stopped before them jumping up and down excitedly. "I want to play too!"

"Get Danny, Jenny!" Steve urged her. "Hurry! Get him off of me."

She squealed with laughter and pulled on the back of his shirt. He let go of Steve and fell back on the ground as if she had made it happen.

"Aww, you beat me. You're too strong."

She pulled on Eric next until Steve stood up putting an arm around Eric's waist and then bent over, scooping up Jenny the same way with the other arm. He held the two of them easily off the ground, gently shaking them as they screamed with laughter.

He finally set them down as Jenny grabbed on around his thigh. "Swing me around like an airplane!" she asked excitedly.

He put a hand on her head, "I better not honey."

She looked up at him, begging with her eyes. "Just once?"

He looked over at Danny who motioned with his head for him to indulge the kid.

"Ok," he caved. "How do I do that?"

She jumped back and held her hands up to him. "Take my hands and spin me around."

His expression became worried, having never done it before. "That's dangerous."

"Only if you let go," Danny laughed.

He playfully growled and took ahold of her wrists. "What now?"

"Just start spinning Einstein" Danny said. "It's the law of gravity."

Eric laughed, "Just start going and she'll lift off the ground. My Dad used to do it all the time."

Steve looked around him to make sure the space was clear and did as he was told; sure enough she came off the ground and was almost parallel with it as he spun her around. He looked at her sweet little face as her blond hair flew behind her and she smiled happily.

"Go faster Daddy," she yelled.

All at once her smile faded and she began to squirm.

"Let me go!" she cried.

He quickly stopped, setting her down as she pulled her hands away and stared at the ground. The playful moment quickly took a turn as tears began to fall from her eyes.

Steve went to kneel down, relieved when Eric beat him to it. He put his arms around his little sister and hugged her. "Its ok Jenny. Don't feel sad."

Danny stared down at them, thinking about his own daughter, Gracie. He couldn't imagine what would be going through the mind of a child to have the safety and security of your parents there one second and then gone forever the next. It tore at his heart and he saw the same expression from his partner as he glanced over at him, he too watched the unfortunate display between the siblings.

They all looked up as Anna appeared. "What happened?"

Steve ran his hand over his hair, and for the first time he was actually pleased that she was there. He could be the fun guy but when it came to nurturing a five-year-old girl, he had no clue what to do or say. "We were playing…" he trailed off, forgoing the details and just said the obvious. "She misses her Dad."

Anna knelt down next to Eric, rubbing Jenny's back. "Come here sweetheart." She took her from Eric, wiping away her tears.

"I want my daddy," she whimpered.

"I know you do. I wish I could bring him here. I miss him too. But if you close your eyes and think about him, you'll see him."

Jenny closed her eyes tightly as Anna took her hand.

"Can you see him?"

A tiny smile emerged on her face as she slowly nodded. "He's eating breakfast."

"We had breakfast everyday together," Eric said somberly, tears forming in his eyes as well.

"See," Anna said. "He's always right there."

Jenny looked up with fresh tears welling in her eyes. "I can't see his face."

Anna stood up with her in her arms, "Let's go look at some pictures and you can watch that video of when you went to Disneyland, ok?"

She nodded in agreement wiping her own face and laying her head on Anna's shoulder.

Steve watched the display between the two of them, seeing the love that Anna had fought so hard to convince him of the night before. She never looked at him to revel in the moment that could have proved her point; instead she focused on the more important issue other than herself.

She put a hand on Eric's back, "Do you want to watch too?"

He nodded and walked closely beside her toward the house.

"Geez," Danny sighed, "poor kids."

They glanced back at each other sheepishly and then turned away again as if trying to hide those emotions that were tearing away at each of them.

"They're good kids," Steve replied. "It's going to be hard for a while."

"A while?" Danny questioned his comment. "It's been what, fifteen years for you? It's still hard on you."

Steve couldn't argue with that, so he didn't.

"At least they have Anna." Danny followed him to his front door. "She doesn't seem like the terror that you make her out to be."

"She has her good moments," he replied, going in the house.

"I'm sure she says the same thing about you."

"I don't care what she says about me." He went in the kitchen and opened the fridge pulling out a block of cheese and some sliced turkey.

"Bullshit," Danny chuckled, reaching up in the cupboard and taking out a loaf of bread and a bag of chips, setting the bread down in front of Steve and opening the chips. "I think you do care."

Steve sighed heavily, "Alright, enlighten me please on why you think I care if Hollywood over there likes me or not."

Danny went around him in the fridge for a pop. "I think you want to like her, and it drives you crazy that she doesn't like you."

Steve slapped some sliced turkey on a piece of bread and busted out laughing. "I'm sure there are lots of people in this word that don't like me and it doesn't keep me up at nights, why should this one?"

Danny leaned against the counter and cracked open the pop, "Because you admire what she's doing. Don't deny it, and the fact that someone you admire doesn't like you…" he grinned knowing he had it nailed, "that's what drives you crazy."

"You know what drives me crazy?" he picked up the sandwich and took a bite, taking the pop out of his hands, "You!" He stuck the sandwich back in his mouth and with the free hand grabbed the bag of chips and went to the table.

"What?" Danny whined. "You're not going to make your guest a sandwich?"

"You're not a guest. And hurry up, we have to get outta here pretty quick."

He began to assemble a turkey sandwich, "So, am I right or am I right?"

Steve took another bite of his sandwich and spoke with his mouth full as he read over a text from Chin. "You're absolutely right, Daniel," he amused him and then stood up. "Times up. Chin and Kono got the lay down on that guy on the surveillance camera. Back to work." He took a drink of the pop and watched as Danny came over and started putting chips on the sandwich. "What are you doing?" he asked, seemingly appalled over it.

"I saw Gracie do it the other day. It's actually pretty good, you should try it."

"No thanks. I'm not twelve."

"It's the same thing as shoving a sausage inside a bun and filling it with condiments, and I see you eating Puka Dogs."

They went toward the front door. "A Puka Dog is work of art." He held the door open as they went out and laughed as the chips crumbled out the back as he took a bite. "That's a mess."

"Mmm," Danny moaned. "A mess of heaven."

All he could do was shake his head as he closed the door behind them. He followed Danny to the car and looked over toward the house, seeing the discarded garbage bag Eric had been using to pull weeds. He glanced in the front window before he got in the driver's side but couldn't see anything due to the piece of cardboard that Anna had put up to replace the glass Eric had broken.

He hoped the kids were doing better after the earlier incident. He felt a tug at his heart thinking of Jenny in particular and how her sudden change of mood reminded him of episodes with Mary. She was so innocent. He wondered again how the parents had died. He knew with a little investigating he could probably figure it out pretty quickly, but it was none of his business, and if the time came for them to tell him then so be it, but until then, he'd just remain what he was, the guy who lived next door.

He let go the threats he had made to Anna a few nights before about getting involved legally if he had too. He really didn't see a need for them anymore. He liked the kids, but despite what Danny thought he didn't have the patience nor the desire to deal with Anna Jordan, regardless of what she looked liked or who she was related too. He still considered that house to have some sort of Hawaiian evil spirit possessing it that also had a vengeance against him, but the kids…a smile crossed his lips as he slid behind the wheel and started the engine. Those kids were worth putting up with Anna.

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Steve rolled into his driveway a little after midnight and stopped. He turned the engine off and laid his head back against the seat enjoying the peace and quite. He let out a long slow breath and closed his eyes. "Home at last," he mumbled. "I swear on the Akua's if that phone rings in the next two days I'm going off a cliff."

He opened his eyes and looked at the front door of his house, contemplating whether he even had the energy to go inside or just sleep where he was, which he could have done easily, he thought. It had been two days since he'd been home and even then it was only for about five hours. Just enough time to catch some sleep and shower.

They had all been working like crazy the past two weeks with one case after another, sometimes two at time. But they were all put to rest now. The paperwork was done and filed and he told everyone to go home for the next two days, which happened to coincide with the weekend, so they technically had four days off.

He decided to make a go of it and opened the door of the truck and slid his tired body out, groaning under his breath. The idea of his comfortable bed gave him the burst of energy he needed to make the trip.

He came up the walkway and stopped, hearing something but not sure what. He slightly tilted his head but only heard the ocean in the background. He kept walking, silently scolding himself to get off the job mode.

He was about to put the key in the lock when he heard it again. It sounded like a wounded cat. He walked to the end of his front porch and looked around the corner that led to the beach and saw nothing. He came off the stone patio and onto the grass, pulling out his cell phone and turned the light on, flashing it in the bushes when he heard it again over his shoulder.

He turned toward Eric's house.

He came up the yard and over toward the side, still holding his cell phone for light when he heard it again, only this time it didn't sound like a wounded cat. He looked up over the fence that was only about four feet high and saw Anna sitting in the same tree that Eric had been in a couple weeks earlier.

The display was odd being so late at night, there was no doubt about that but his weariness over took his curiously. He rolled his eyes and turned away when he heard her take in a gulp of air and few quick sobs before it was quiet again. He stopped and looked over at her again, knowing that she was crying.

His head fell forward and he scolded himself once again for not just going inside his house when he first heard the sound to begin with. He quickly convinced himself that he didn't want nor need to get involved with this and went to take a step in the direction of home when he heard the crack of a branch and the sound of her falling.

She came down hard on the ground, rolling over on her back, clutching her left arm. "Damn it! Ouch!" she cried out as the tears fell even harder as she tried to get up, not so much from the pain but because it was just another slap in the face from life that she just couldn't take anymore. She felt backed up against a wall and had nowhere to go and worse yet, no one to talk too.

She went to get up, using the tree for support when suddenly there was an arm around her waist.

"Are you Ok?" Steve asked, helping her up.

She couldn't see him through her blurred vision that was a combination from the tears of self-pity and from the bottle of wine she had consumed, but knew the voice right away. "Where," she blubbered, "what are you…?"

"Did you hurt your arm?" he could see her holding it. He touched her wrist and she cried out.

"Ouch! Don't touch it!" She started crying again. "Stupid! Stupid tree!" she bawled. "I want to go home," she whined. "I want to go back to LA and have my life back," her voice barely audible through the sobs.

"Come on," he guided her toward the house. "It's ok," he said passively, not knowing what else to say, but he needed to get her inside so he could get a look at her arm.

"I've been trying," she wailed, "but I just can't do it anymore. I wasn't cut out to be a mother."

He came in through the backdoor, noticing an empty bottle of wine and half full glass sitting on the counter. He set her on the sofa and knelt down on one knee in front of her, carefully taking the damaged arm by the elbow. He could see swelling already, and the way the hand was curved he knew right away it was broken. "You broke your wrist. You need to go to the hospital."

"What?" she looked at him shocked. "No! I can't. It can't be broke!" She looked down at it but couldn't focus straight. "I'll just wrap it up really tight and it'll be ok." Fresh tears stung her eyes over this new obstacle.

Steve refused to argue with her and stood up. "Stay here." He went to the stairs.

"There's some gauze," Anna whimpered, "in the bathroom drawer up there," she affirmed, assuming he was taking her advice.

He came up to a door with a sign on it that read "Knock First" in big black letters, assuming it was Eric's room. He rapped his knuckles twice, giving him the courtesy even though he was pretty sure he was sound asleep. He opened the door and saw him occupying the top half of the bunk bed.

He gently shook him. "Eric, wake up."

He rolled over and blinked twice at him trying to get a clear picture through his haze, wondering if that was actually Steve standing there. "Huh, what?" he replied sleepily.

"Wake up. Anna fell and broke her wrist. I need to take her to the hospital and you and Jenny have to come with me."

He sat up on his elbow, "She broke her wrist?! Can you see the bone?" he asked almost giddy over being able to witness that.

Steve couldn't help but chuckle over his question, typical young boy reaction. "No, but it's broke. Can you get Jenny up for me and get her dressed and come downstairs?"

He kicked the covers off with his legs. "Yes."

"Thanks Buddy. I'll meet you down there."

"How did she break it?"

"She fell out of your tree," he announced with a sigh. He stopped at his desk and picked up the wooden ruler sitting on it and then walked out, leaving Eric with a confused expression.

Anna cuddled her arm, gritting her teeth through the pain as he came back downstairs. "Good, you found it," she said of the gauze in his hand.

He ignored her and went to the kitchen, searching through the drawers until he found some saran wrap.

She stared at him as he knelt back down in front of her and carefully set the ruler under the length of her lower arm and then began to wrap the gauze around it, tightly at the elbow and then more gently toward the wrist.

"Ouch, ouch," she trembled.

"Sorry," he said softly, feeling her pain, having broken his wrist before. "I need to stabilize it until we can get you to the ER."

She looked up at him as her bottom lip quivered. "We're still going?"

"Anna," he said firmly. "You broke your arm. We're going to the hospital."

"But, what about Eric and Jenny?" she whimpered.

"They're coming too."

No sooner did he get the words out did they both come down the stairs, Eric holding Jenny's hand as she stared sleepily at the display, not quite registering what was happening.

Eric let go of her hand once they hit the bottom and came running over to them. "Let me see."

Steve stood up and took Anna's other arm. "There's nothing to see. It's just swollen."

He led her out the door as Eric took Jenny's hand again.

"Does it hurt?" Jenny asked Anna as they walked past.

"I'm sorry," Anna replied tearfully to the both of them.

Jenny gripped her brother's hand as they followed behind them to Steve's truck.

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Steve pulled up to the ER and got a spot almost directly in front of the entrance, mainly due to the time of night. He came around to the passenger side and helped Anna get out first.

"Thank you," she said softly. The entire way there she had sat in silence, nursing her arm and trying for the life of her to figure out how he came to be where he was at the moment she fell. She had no recollection of seeing him while in the tree, she just fell out and he magically appeared. Most of it was hazy but that part was clear.

Eric came around the other side as Steve opened up the backdoor to Jenny's seat; she was slumped over, sound asleep.

A small, aggravated growl came from his gut that only he could hear and carefully undid her seat belt. He caught her as she fell forward and lifted her out holding her high so she could rest her head on his shoulder, which she did without so much as stirring.

They walked into the ER together and were met by a nurse that recognized Steve right away.

"Commander," she said surprised; not so much over seeing him in the ER but with the people attached to him, not realizing he had a family.

"She broke her arm." He motioned toward Anna.

She then saw the wrapped up arm and the saran wrap that was used as a makeshift sling to hold it in place. "Oh, you poor thing." She put an arm around Anna. "Don't you worry Mrs. McGarrett, we'll get you fixed up."

That caught Steve off guard as he quickly spoke up. "Umm, she's not my wife. They live next door to me."

Eric on the other hand burst out laughing. "She thinks you're married!"

Steve gave him not only the look, but also one of his typical gentle smacks in the back of the head.

Eric laughed it off, taking it more as a term of endearment and covered his mouth, still reeling over the nurse's assumption.

Anna turned as they led her down the hall, eyeing him with the kids; especially Jenny slumped over his shoulder, knowing what an inconvenience this was for him. "I won't be long. It doesn't look busy."

Steve said nothing, but knew it wouldn't be quick. He'd never been to the ER outside of work issues that was a quick trip, regardless of the time of night and empty lobby. She was in for at least two hours, that was a given.

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Two and half hours later Anna came down the empty waiting room seeing them in another room that was set up especially for kids entertainment, complete with a large fish tank and a TV that had a video game station connected to it, but at the moment it boasted out the Disney movie _The Little Mermaid_. She smiled as she came in and approached the couch across the way.

Asleep on it were all three of them. Steve sat slouched down with his head turned and resting on the back of it while Jenny was curled up next to him, securely tucked under his arm, her forehead laid against the side of his chest, while Eric was passed out on the other side, his head lying on Steve's outer bicep.

She stared at him, wondering who he was, this person who came to her aid whenever she needed it, yet seemed so callous in his liking towards her. She looked at Jenny and Eric again and felt a slight jolt of jealousy toward them; not in a bad way but because they had seemed to win him over with such ease. She knew then that he was there for them and not her. That stung a bit. She couldn't think of one person in her life back in LA, which she had been crying so adamantly for earlier in her drunken state that would have come to her rescue so openly when it came to these kids. They would have dropped her at the ER and called a nanny service. There was no doubt in her mind about that. But him, not only was he there to help the morning she was moving, he was there to find Jenny, there help get Eric out of the tree, there to catch her as she fell out.

'_Maybe_,' she thought, '_maybe this place was the home she'd been looking for_.' She had friends in LA but none of them, not even her so called boyfriend or sister who claimed they loved her had gone out of their way to assist her, ever, in any way more than this man sitting across from her had over the past two weeks. And it was clear he didn't even like her.

She realized then it wasn't just him that was generous, it was everyone and everywhere she went on this island. The people here were genuine and caring.

For the first time since landing in Hawaii she actually felt glad she was there. She decided to embrace it rather than fight it. She looked at Steve and felt ashamed with herself once again for being so afraid of this person and judging him because he wore a badge. He was nothing like Daryl, absolutely nothing like him at all.

She saw him stir and gently touched him on the knee as he opened his eyes. He used the hand that was around Jenny to wipe away the sleep.

"Hey," he went to sit up and realized just then the two bodies nestled next to him. He looked down eyeing each of them and let out a small chuckle.

Anna smiled, "You all look so comfortable I didn't want to disturb you."

"How's the arm?" he said just above a whisper so as not to disturb them just yet.

She looked down at her hand that was incased in a pink cast and sticking out the end of a black sling. "Broke, sore." She rolled her eyes, staring at the ground not able to face him. "Embarrassed, humiliated, foolish."

"Hung over?" he teased.

She couldn't help but smile, feeling her face flush. "A little."

"Alcohol and trees don't mix."

"That should be on a poster," she declared. "Maybe I wouldn't have attempted it if I had seen that warning somewhere."

Steve smiled over her ability to poke fun at herself. He'd never seen a humorous side to her, wondering if she even had one. "Live and learn." He didn't bother to ask her why she was in the tree, he knew why. She was having a bad night. "I'm just glad I was there. If you would have let that go it could have got a lot worse."

She looked up at him with a curious expression. "Why were you there?" she asked. "I mean, I'm glad you were," she quickly added, not wanting to sound ungrateful. "But, where did you come from?"

"I got home late and I heard you crying." He let out a small laugh, "Well, I thought I heard a wounded cat, but it turned out to be you."

She felt her face flush once again. "Geez, does the humiliation have an end?"

"Like I said. I'm just glad I was there to help."

She smiled shyly at him. "Me too. Thank you."

The disheveled clothes from the fall and lying in a hospital bed from the last two hours mirrored the weary look in her eyes from the long night. They were both tired but he couldn't deny that even though she had had a rough night, that when she let her guard down she was every bit as stunning as Danny had pointed out. It was as if he was seeing her for the first time, or maybe it was just this side of her that he was seeing for the first time that caught his attention.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked her.

"Please. I can feel the pain medicine kicking in and in about two seconds I might just join you on that couch for the night."

Steve laughed, looking to his left and then to his right. "We might be able to squeeze you in here somewhere."

Anna smiled over that and sat down on the edge next to Jenny. "They like you so much," she announced, running her hand gently over the little girl's hair. She made eye contact with him. "Jenny adores you, and Eric, he respects you."

Steve raised an eyebrow over that piece of information. "That's kind of funny to hear, because to tell you the truth, I'm not very good with kids. I never have been."

"I think it's because you treat them like people, and not just kids. They respond to that." She sighed heavily, rolling her eyes at her next confession. "To be quite honest myself, while I was in there getting fixed up I had decided to follow that example. I've decided to stop trying to be their best friend. They don't need that. They need someone who can show authority and at the same time spin them around by their hands and have fun." She smiled at him, recalling how he had done that with Jenny.

"I can't give advice on kids," he shrugged nonchalantly, "but it seems to work for me." He wasn't sure if it was her reaction to the pain medicine, the late night or the mortification she felt from the whole incident, but he was definitely seeing a different side of her. He decided to let her off the hook for now and meet her halfway in this new found common ground they had suddenly found between them. "I think you're doing a good job, Anna. I can't begin to think how hard this must be for you, but you should know that."

His confession caught her completely off guard, but it was what she needed to hear. She didn't even realize it until he said it just how much she did need that validation. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

"You're welcome."

He sat up, moving his arm under and around Jenny's waist, rolling her over so she rested on his body and then stood up. She never budged from her slumber and was once again resting on his shoulder. Eric, who had been leaning against his other arm, fell down into the spot he had just vacated. The movement however woke him up momentarily. He wiped his hand over his eyes and looked up at both of them and closed them again.

"Eric," Anna said, gently nudging him. "Come on, we're going home."

"No," he blinked once but didn't move.

She looked at Steve for help.

"Authority," he grinned.

"Right," she agreed wholeheartedly and bent over with her good hand and slid it under his head, lifting him up. "Yes! Now get up, we're leaving, and if you don't get up, I'm leaving you here."

He sat up looking as tired as he felt, but slid off the couch anyway, slightly staggering as he stood there.

She put an arm around his shoulders and looked over at Steve with a triumphant smile.

"Look at you, drill Sergeant," he teased, putting a hand on Eric's head as they all walked out the sliding doors together.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve came up the beach after his swim shaking the excess water from his hair. He grabbed the towel from the back of the chair as he walked past it toward the house, using it first to dry off his face and then ran it over his head, rubbing it several times leaving his jet black hair spiked up in several places before he ran a hand over it, lying it uniformly in place. He dried his chest and arms next, slipping the T-shirt on that was lying over the rail by his back door as he went in the house, grinning widely at his cell phone that was void of any missed calls.

He went right through the house and out the front door, searching for the morning paper that was usually halfway to the fence.

He bent over and scooped it up, glancing over in the direction of the house across the way and saw Jenny sitting on the front door stoop eating a Popsicle. It was ten in the morning and he wondered how she had finagled that gift out of Anna.

"Morning, Jenny," he yelled over to her.

She looked over at him and waved, getting to her feet and skipped across the yard to where he was.

He watched with great amusement the long blond hair that bounced freely and as carefree as the little girl who wore it. She still had on the clothes from the trip to the ER the night before. Her red pajama top displayed the picture of a female Disney character that he'd seen before but didn't know the name. He caught himself grinning from ear to ear anticipating the conversation. She always seemed to charm him no matter the discussion.

"Guess what?" she asked excitedly, unaware of the night before and what had progressed beyond leaving the house to go to the hospital. She had literally slept through the whole thing.

"What?" Steve asked, meeting her at the fence line.

"Anna broke her arm last night! It's pink now," she declared. "The outside part is pink!"

Steve smiled, "I know. I took her to the hospital. Don't you remember?"

She crinkled her little face, wondering if he were teasing her. "No."

He squatted down so they were eye level just above the fence line. "We went in my truck, remember?" He could see the lights coming on in her eyes as she recalled that part.

"Oh," she nodded, taking a lick of her Popsicle. "I forgot."

"How did you talk Anna into letting you have a Popsicle so early?" He reached over and moved a piece of her hair that had stuck to the side of it.

"Eric gave it to me for breakfast. Her arm wasn't feeling good."

He stood up and looked beyond her to the house. "Have you seen her at all this morning? Did she get up and then go back to bed?"

Jenny nodded her head, biting off the top of her breakfast as her lips began to turn the same color of purple as the treat she held. "She's in her room."

"Really," he stepped over the short fence. "Come on, let's go see Eric."

"Ok," she said happily, following beside him with a playful skip in her walk. "Do you want some of my popsicle?" she held it up for him.

"No thank you sweetheart." He smiled down at her, remembering her curled up next to him on the couch the night before. He wasn't accustomed to having kids around except for Gracie, whom he also found pleasurable, others he found tiresome, but there was something about Jenny's innocence that reeled him in. He liked being around her. She was just a sweet kid. Eric wasn't far behind.

They came in the house and found Eric sitting on the couch. He quickly turned the channel of the movie he'd been watching to a cartoon, but not before Steve caught a glimpse of it, knowing it was too mature for him.

He looked from him to the TV and back at him, letting him know he was busted. "That's a pretty graphic movie you were watching."

He set the remote down on the table. "I was just flipping channels."

Steve motioned with his head toward the upstairs. "How's Anna doing this morning?"

"I think her arm hurts. She came down for some ice a little while ago and was going to make breakfast but then she went back up. I just gave Jenny a popsicle."

He went to the bottom of the steps and yelled up, "Hey Anna, it's Steve."

She appeared at the top of the stairs a few moments later. She too had the same clothes on from the night before and the black sling still over her shoulder, but her expression showed every bit of pain that Eric had mentioned. He could see the bag of ice wrapped in a towel sticking out of the sling.

"Hi. How you feeling?"

She came down the steps slowly as if every move was a cautious one. "Ok, it's just a little sore," she lied.

"Did you take some more pain medication?" he asked as she went past him.

"No, it makes me sleepy. I can't sleep all day."

He followed behind her into the kitchen. "You can't walk around all day in pain either."

"It's not so bad." She lifted up a pan and set it on the stove, just that slightest movement caused her to react.

He went up to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair. "Sit down."

"I'm fine," she countered, turning around and leaning against the counter. The forced smile was about all he was going to get. She was exhausted and didn't want to argue with him but also didn't want him to cater to her either. The events from the night before stung even more in the daylight.

"You look like you're about to pass out."

That remark to her was more like an insult and showed in her expression. "I can handle things around here."

He took his hands off the back of the chair and crossed his arms, "Like you handled things last night?" He regretted it the moment it came out but her hostility toward him was just as irritating. He knew she was in no shape to handle things and all he wanted to do was help her out. It was as if their moment of truce in the ER had never taken place. "I've broken my arm before. I know it hurts like hell. Why is it so hard for you to except a little help?"

She looked from him to the kids who stared at her, seeing Jenny's face and clothes with the purple Popsicle on both. Eric had that same condescending expression that told her she was being ungrateful without even having to say it. He was ten years old and even he knew better.

With her tail between her legs she slowly walked over and sat down in the chair.

He took the seat across from her and scooted it closer. "I'm going to look at your arm?" he warned her but also held back just before touching, as if asking permission.

She didn't answer but just shifted so her broken arm was in a better position for him to view. She looked up at him as he carefully pulled the bag of ice out, wondering why her first reaction toward him was always hostile. It was like she couldn't help herself. He could be so stubborn and demanding in the way he talked to her that it was like he was ordering her, not asking. He was hard and emotionless in that way too, but just as that thought crossed her mind she winced when a shot of pain that had been torturing her all morning began at her wrist and rippled up her arm. Her fingers in the cast contorted and she moaned as it began to throb, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth waiting for it to end, knowing by the time she counted to ten it would be gone. But to her surprise she only got to four when she felt a firm caressing on her bicep and up to her shoulder and back down again, taking away the pain. She opened her eyes and met his that were concerned as if he were feeling it too.

"Where are your pills," he asked again in that demanding voice, only this time it wasn't emotionless.

She stared at him recalling again how Jenny had been curled up next to him on the couch the night before, knowing it must have been a comforting place.

"Anna?" he asked again, only more sternly. "Where are your pain pills?"

"By my bed," she replied barely above a whisper.

Steve looked over at Eric and snapped his fingers, pointing to the ceiling. Eric didn't take it as an order or a demand but as urgency, seeing her pain as well. He jetted up the stairs at full speed.

Jenny came in and stood next to Anna, seeing too the discomfort on her face. "Are you ok, Anna?" She gently touched the cast and looked up at her, the sympathy on her little face griped Anna's heart.

"Yes honey I'm ok, it's just a little sore."

Jenny then turned to Steve. "Do something," she said; the desperation in her voice caught his attention too.

He reached out and stroked the child's arm assuring her. "We are honey. Eric went to get her pills. They'll make her feel better."

He came running up behind them, holding the prescription bottle out to Steve. "Here." He looked over at Anna and gave her a sympathetic smile.

Steve shook out two pills and went to the sink for a glass of water.

"Give me just one for now," Anna spoke up.

He sat back down across from her, holding the two pills in one hand and the glass of water in the other. "You'll take two," he said firmly, letting her know he wasn't going to argue.

"They make me sleepy, and with the kids…" she said, but was interrupted.

"I'm off today. Eric and Jenny can hang out with me."

She looked at him like what he just said made no sense at all. "Do you have any idea…" she began but he interrupted her again.

"What? I babysit an entire island. You don't think I can handle a couple of kids?"

She was amused at his parody but went one better. "I'm actually more afraid for them than you." Her wicked grin told him she was teasing.

"Very funny."

"Seriously though, what are you going to do with them?"

He looked at both of them as they stood next to each other staring back at him with blank expressions, wondering what his answer was going to be.

At the moment, he hadn't the slightest idea.

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Steve tossed Eric a life vest and then reached down and picked up Jenny under the armpits and set her down on the tailgate of his truck. "Arms up," he instructed, holding her life jacket.

She lifted them up in the air and he slipped a hand in each one of the holes and then fastened it together. She held onto his shoulders as he tightened it. Her little body jerking as he made sure it was secure.

"Are you going to wear one too?" she asked him.

"Of course."

She didn't say it but she smiled, glad to hear it.

He set her down on the ground. "Take your shoes off Jenny, and toss them in the back of the truck." He then knelt down on one knee in front of Eric going through the same procedure as he did with Jenny, checking his life jacket.

"I've never been in a kayak before, out in the ocean," he confessed, looking beyond them towards the water.

"Are you nervous?" Steve asked him, seeing a trace of hesitation.

Eric shrugged, "No, I guess not," he lied.

He leaned back just slightly so he could see his face. "We don't have to do this if you don't want too."

Eric glanced over at Jenny. "Are you scared?"

"No." She tossed her other shoe in the back of the truck as instructed, and suddenly as if someone had just lit a fire under her feet she began to jump up in the air excitedly. "It's going to be fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!" she shouted, putting her hands on her hips and whipping them back and forth singing the words now. "_Fun, fun, fun_. _It's going to be fun. So much fun. Fun, fun, fun."_

Steve stared at her not sure what to make of the sudden outburst and then looked at Eric as if he had an explanation, instead they both busted up.

"Our cruise director has spoken," Steve laughed.

"Our what?" Eric chuckled.

"Never mind." He stood up and flipped the tailgate of his truck up. "Let's get this crazy show on the road."

He grabbed an end of the kayak as Eric grabbed the other, lifting it with both hands.

Jenny continued to dance in place, replacing the singing with humming.

"Excuse me Lady Gaga," Steve said to her, "but could you please show us the way to the beach?"

"Yes!" she replied happily. "This way please." She began to skip across the parking lot as they followed behind her.

"You know who Lady Gaga is?" Eric asked him surprised over that.

Steve huffed, "I know the name, but I wouldn't know her if she were standing next to me."

Eric laughed. That made more sense to him.

They watched as Jenny thrashed her arms around in the air, singing the 'fun' song again. She was as happy as could be and Eric watched with amusement not having seen his little sister act that way in a long time. It used to drive him crazy, but today he was glad it was back.

"She's crazy," Eric laughed.

"She's five," Steve confirmed with a grin, enjoying her frolicking more than he had just about anything else in a long time.

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Steve slid down inside the kayak first and reached over picking up Jenny. He easily lifted her out of the waist high water and set her down on the seat between his legs.

The older gentleman who was lending them a hand held the boat steady behind Steve's back as Eric climbed in next at the bow. He held onto both sides before carefully sitting down in his seat.

Steve glanced over his shoulder, "Ok, I think we're good. Mahalo," he said to the man as he pushed them into the next wave that rolled up on Lanikai Beach. He tapped Eric gently on the back with one of his oars. "Man up Buddy. You're helping. Grab an oar next to you and start paddling."

Jenny looked up over her shoulder at him. "Where are we going?"

Steve pointed to the two islands in the distance. "Out to that island on the left."

She held up her hands and stared at them. "Which is left?"

"Do you know your alphabet?" he asked her.

"Yes. _A, b, c, d, e_…" she began to sing when he took her left hand, he smoothed out her fingers and then pulled her thumb down, holding it up so she could see that it looked like the letter L.

"Left begins with the letter 'L', " he explained, "see, this is your left hand because it makes the letter 'L'." he smiled remembering when his Mom had taught him that trick. He never again asked which was his left or right.

"Oh…" Jenny replied as if that was the most logical thing she had ever heard. "L" she held it up high. "Left." She looked back over her shoulder at him as he smiled down at her. She looked back out to the island and pointed to the one on the left. "We're going to that island, right?"

Steve grinned. "Right."

"No," Eric laughed, "left."

Steve splashed him with water. "Smart aleck."

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"Keep it steady Eric," Steve instructed him as they drifted the boat up on the beach of Moku Island. Once it touched the sand, Eric jumped out and grabbed his end as Steve lifted Jenny and set her outside the boat in the waist high water. She instantly took off toward the beach, amazed at the solitude.

"Does anyone live here?" she asked.

"No," Steve replied pulling the kayak the rest of the way up the beach. He reached behind he and Jenny's seat and pulled out a backpack, unzipping the main compartment. "Eric," he yelled out before tossing him a bottled water. "Make sure it comes home with us."

"I will." He caught the flying object with both hands.

He then took another one out and twisted off the top and handed it to Jenny. "Take a drink."

She took it with both hands and took a long drink before handing it back to him. "I don't want no more. You have some too," she demanded as if he might parish without the liquid. She smiled brightly as he finished it off and then put the empty bottle back into the backpack.

He slipped out of his lifejacket and helped Jenny with hers as Eric undid his own, tossing them into the boat.

"This place is so cool!" Eric declared, "Can we climb over those rocks to get to the other side?"

"Come on," Steve said, "I know an easier way."

Jenny reached up and took his hand, skipping along beside him, kicking the sand with her toes. "How come no one lives here?"

"It's a special island and it only belongs to the Akua's"

Eric looked back over at him. "The who?"

"The Akua's," he said again. "The Hawaiian Gods." He looked at him peculiarly. "You've never heard the word Akua's?"

"Oh yea. In school they talked about them some."

"Were you and Jenny born in Hawaii?" he asked him.

"Yes. On Maui."

"Then you should really learn about the customs of the islands. It's important to know. You're a native of Hawaii, it's a part of you."

"Me too?" Jenny asked looking up at him.

He squeezed her little hand. "You too." It made him wonder again of their upbringing. It was obvious that they weren't accustomed to the water; at least Eric wasn't, he found that sad, especially with them being born and raised in Hawaii. But he also knew people who lived on the islands for years and treated the beautiful surroundings as if they were just that, and not a playground like he did. Too each his own, he thought.

The trail through the rocks that led to the other side was easy for Jenny to maneuver. They came out between two large boulders and stared out at the vast Pacific Ocean that splashed up against the rocks below them. They could feel the spray of water that felt good after the hike and the early afternoon sun that was already getting hot. They made their way down to a calmer spot and sat down on a patch of sand.

Jenny stood next to Steve as he sat with his elbows on his propped up knees. "Pretty isn't it?" he said of the view before them. The white clouds in the distance seemed to settle on the blue water as the sunlight sparkled and danced off of it.

"What do you think heaven looks like?" Jenny asked unexpectedly.

He glanced up at her as she stood transfixed on the sight before her. "I don't know," Steve replied, not having thought about that question since his mother's death when he was young, but more important at that moment coming from Jenny so soon after losing both her parents was not just anyone asking a random question. He could see the longing on her face, recalling that same furlong look on Mary when they were young. She was thinking about her mom and dad. "Maybe it looks like that view right there. Or maybe it's whatever we want it to look like."

She thought about that answer for a minute before replying. "I want it to be pretty."

"I'm sure it's a beautiful place, and everyone there is happy and safe."

"No one ever comes back from there, do they?" she asked sadly, knowing the answer but hoping someday someone would give a better one than 'no'.

He could feel her pain. He was thirty-four years old but he suddenly felt like that young boy who had just lost his mother and the whole world around him had just come crashing down. He wished he could tell her yes, so much so for her sake, but more so for his own too. "No honey they don't."

She looked at him, "Do you know anyone that lives in heaven?"

He nodded, "My Mom and Dad."

Her eyes got big as she stared at him, taking in what he had just said to her. She shot a look over at Eric who was skipping rocks in the water and not paying attention to their conversation. Her attention went back on Steve as her eyes softened.

The sympathy that radiated from her over that confession tore at his heart. She was five years old yet she held the compassion and wisdom of an adult over that tragic news. He wrapped an arm around her legs and pulled her against him as one of her little hands rested on his shoulder. "Just because they live in heaven doesn't mean I can't still talk to them. They can't answer me back, but I know they listen and hear me."

"I want my Mommy and Daddy to come back. I miss my Mommy and I get scared at night when Daddy isn't there."

He couldn't think of a single thing to say that would cure a five year old of those words. Instead he gave her another squeeze, "I know honey, but Anna is there and I live right next door, you shouldn't be afraid."

She looked back over at Eric as he cheered, skipping a rock four times over the water. Jenny did a small leap, feeling his excitement. "Can I put my toes in the water?" she asked Steve. "I like it when the water comes up and takes the sand away from my feet."

He looked up at her and gone was the sadness, quickly replaced with the bright-eyed little girl he had grown to admire, as if the conversation just seconds before had never taken place. She was strong and resilient over her sorrow, but then again he thought sadly, she was only five.

He pushed himself up off the ground knowing he could appease her of this request and lifted her up under the arms, holding her out in front of him and playfully shaking her in the meantime as he took her down to the beach.

She squealed with laughter as he set her down in the ankle deep water.

"Put your feet in, Steve," she said curling her toes up as the wave splashed over her feet and then descended back out to the ocean. "It tickles!"

He joined her not having experienced that sensation since he was probably close to her age. He stood next to her and couldn't help but chuckle over the tingling under his feet as the water swished the sand around beneath it. He looked to his other side as Eric joined them.

The three of them stood together for along time enjoying the child like moment, laughing more at each other's enjoyment than their own.

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Anna sat up on the couch, looking out the new glass window as Steve's truck pulled up into his driveway. Eric got out the front passenger side and seconds later Jenny came running around from the other side, tearing across the lawn toward the front door. Anna stood up, holding her arm in the sling as it opened and Jenny stood grinning at her.

"Steve is going to cook at his house," she announced. "Do you want to come?"

Before she could even assess the situation, she saw him taking the same path as Jenny and then appearing at her doorstep.

"Hi, feeling better?"

She could see the fresh tan on his face and arms, the same on Jenny, only not as apparent, relieved that he had had the sense to put sunscreen on her. "Yes, I am. I've got it down to where I can take one pill every couple of hours. It doesn't hurt as much and I don't feel drowsy." She felt the smile that crossed his face seemed genuine, pleased over that information.

"Good." He pointed over his shoulder toward his house. "I was going to fire up the BBQ and make some burgers for the kids. If you feel like coming over…" he left it at that, not wanting to give her a formal invitation and make her feel obligated since he'd had the kids all day but didn't want to exclude her either.

"You don't have to do that," she quickly replied. "I can order a pizza. I really think you've done enough today."

"We already stopped and bought all the stuff."  
Jenny put her hands together, pleading with her. "Please! We got ice cream too."

"Well," Anna caved, not able to argue with that, "if you got ice cream too, then you can't possibly pass that dinner up."

Jenny gave a small leap in the air and then began to run up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Anna asked her.

She yelled down as she continued up, "I want to show Steve my baby book."

She shot a look over at him as he shrugged, whispering out loud to her. "I don't know what that is."

"It's all about her from when she was born. My sister in law put it together. It's her favorite thing."

Steve glanced up the stairs, "Oh, ok."

She thought it odd, but rather cute that Jenny wanted to show him that. She was so proud of it. She felt a slight hint of jealousy over it, knowing they both enjoyed him so much. She had been with them for weeks before she got a glimpse of that book, and yet her enthusiasm to show Steve was off the charts.

"Did everything go ok today," Anna asked.

"Yes," he said, leaning into her, "but we got into a little conversation about her mom and dad. She was asking about heaven, and what it looked like." His expression showed his uneasiness about it. "She was asking if they were going to come back and said that she gets scared."

Anna sighed, nodding her understanding. "She has bad dreams, but hasn't had one in a couple of weeks. I was hoping she was over the fear. Ever since…" She paused as Steve cleared his throat and motioned with his head as she came down the steps with what looked like a photo album.

"Here it is," Jenny said, almost breathless. "We can take it to your house." It wasn't a suggestion but a statement. "C'mon Anna," she ordered, walking past him out the door. She stopped just as she hit the grass, turning to them, "C'mon, I'm hungry."

Steve stepped out of the way for Anna to pass. "She's so bossy," he grinned.

"Try living with her," Anna snickered, playfully rolling her eyes.

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Eric sat against a tree playing a game on Anna's Ipad while Jenny lay curled up under a towel on the ground, sound asleep with her baby book next to her. Anna sat in one of Steve's Adirondack chairs down by the edge of the grass just before the beach.

He came walking up from the house, handing her a cup of hot tea before taking the chair next to her.

"Thank you. I don't think I've ever had a man make me a cup of tea before."

"I can't believe I even have tea," he chuckled. He knew it was in the cupboard. It had been Becky's, he'd just never bothered to throw it out.

Anna took a sip, "Mmm, it's good."

He took a drink of his beer making the same sound, "Mmm, better."

She grinned at him, "I bet, but it's probably not such a great idea after I just took another pain pill."

"Is the arm ok?"

"Yes." She wiggled her fingers. "I have a feeling this thing though," she tapped on the cast, "is going to drive me crazy."

"Whatever you do, now matter how bad you want to, don't stick anything up there to scratch an itch."

"I know," she replied. "The doctor told me the same thing. Did you do that when you broke your arm?"

"No, but I knew people who had. It's a mess when they take off the cast."

Eric came walking up to them. "Can I use your bathroom?" he asked Steve.

"Sure," he pointed up toward his back deck. "There's one just up the stairs."

"Ok, thanks." He set the Ipad on the ground and ran toward the house.

Anna leaned over, "I don't know what you said to him that night in the tree, but he's been so cooperative ever since."

"We just had a man to man is all."

She sat back in her chair, looking at him as he took a drink of his beer and stared out over the water. She couldn't imagine Daryl talking Eric out of the tree. He probably would have offered him cash to come down, she thought bitterly. She shook head, erasing him from her thoughts, not knowing why he was constantly lingered there, loneliness perhaps. The anger she felt toward him was nothing compared to the humiliation she felt for what he had done to her, but he wasn't the only one to blame, she thought sadly. Her sister was the instigator; she knew it without a doubt and that hurt even worse. She knew how Alyssa could manipulate men; she'd been watching her do it her whole life. It was an art she'd mastered, but what steamed Anna the most was the people she hurt in the process, including her. Alyssa Jordan was fast becoming America's sweetheart, but Anna knew better. Alyssa never would have taken on the job of caring for their brother's kids, ever. She stroked her hand over Jenny's hair as she slept soundly next to her. At times she didn't know how she had managed, but over the last couple of weeks, she was glad she didn't have to do it all alone.

"I appreciate what you did today, taking them off my hands," Anna said sincerely.

He looked over at her, hearing a genuine thank you, even if the actual words didn't come out. "You're welcome. I was a little surprised myself and to tell you the truth I was a little nervous that I'd end up with two bored and restless kids on my hands," he grinned, pleased with himself but most of all pleased with them. "We had good time. They're great kids. You should be proud of them."

Anna leaned her head back against the chair. "I can't take any credit. My brother Mark was a good Dad and Kim was a good Mom. I think they had a nice life here," she sighed, "before."

It was the first time she'd ever really talked about them and Steve felt the opportunity was there. "If you don't mind my asking, what happened?"

"They lived on Maui. It was just the two of them in the car. I guess they had a date night and were coming back from dinner when their car was hit head on by a driver that was reaching down to pick something up and crossed the center line." She shook her head as if it were illogical. "If they were just a few seconds behind or a few seconds ahead." She looked at him sadly, "But they weren't. They both died at the scene. That was almost six months ago. I was there the next day and my sister a couple after that, but my Mom," Anna huffed, "She came for the funeral and then flew back to Boston the next day."

Steve could see the frustration on her over that remark, feeling it himself. "And then your sister left," he commented, "and you stayed," he ended with a commendable smile.

She sighed again, "And I stayed. I thought about bringing them back to LA but I was afraid that a change like that would just do more damage, and living in the house they did with their parents wasn't helping either. Eric refused to let me sleep in their room so I slept on the couch. It was like living with ghosts there constantly, so I packed everything up and we moved here to my brother's rental house. I thought it would help but I had no idea what I was doing. Believe it or not it was a lot worse before. Eric was so angry and Jenny cried all the time and had horrible nightmares. I tried to reach out for help but it was like no one wanted to talk about it. My sister would just send money when she felt guilty, or," she pointed over her shoulder in the direction of the house, "buy us new luxury SUV and pay off the mortgage to my brother's house. That was her way of helping the situation. My mom would return my calls after a couple of days but the conversation was always about her. They have no clue what goes on here. Worse yet the kids adore their Aunt Alyssa and think I'm the devil spawn."

"That's not true," Steve said adamantly. "They respect you. They're kids and she showers them with presents while you deal out the punishments. But mark my word, when trouble hits home," he pointed at her, "it will be you they run too, not her."

It was the first words of encouragement she'd heard that actually gave her a boost of strength she needed. "You think so?"

"Yes. I know so. You're a lot more influential to them than you think."

There it was again, she thought. That power he had to motivate. She'd never met anyone like him before that could take the worst case scenario and turn it into a positive, wondering how he managed to do it so casually.

"Hey" Danny yelled out as he came through the back door. He pointed at the smoldering grill. "You have a party and don't even invite me."

Steve looked over his shoulder. "I wanted a relaxing party that's why I didn't invite you. Why are you here interrupting my day off? Miss me already?"

Anna's face showed her shock over that statement, wondering if they were fighting.

"Yea, I miss you like the plague," Danny said sarcastically, coming up behind him in a pair of cut off jeans a T-shirt and flip-flops. "Hey, how are you? he said to Anna, holding his hand out to her. "Good to see you again,"

"Hi," she replied, shaking it.

"Wow!" he said pointing at her arm. "What happened?" he slapped Steve on the shoulder. "What did you do to the poor thing?"

"Why do you automatically assume it's something I did?"

Danny didn't say anything but just gave him a look, as if saying 'yea right'.

"I fell," Anna jumped in, leaving out the tree part, smiling shyly over at Steve hoping he would do the same. "Steve wasn't anywhere around."

"See," he said sarcastically. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I need to borrow your snorkel gear."

"My snorkel gear? Jesus Danny, why don't you just break down and spend the twenty bucks and get your own?"

"Why, when I can borrow yours. Besides it's not for me, it's for Gracie. She's going with some friends."

"Oh," Steve suddenly had a change of heart. "Ok, for Gracie yes. It's in the hall closet."

"Animal," Danny mumbled.

"Excuse me." Anna said, looking between the two of them. "Do you always talk to each other like this?"

Steve and Danny exchanged a look.

"Like what," Danny asked. "You mean the bickering?"

"Like you…well yes."

"It's only because Danny provokes me," Steve looked up at him. "And he does it on purpose too."

He went to defend himself but went one better, "Ok, yes, maybe sometimes, but that's only because he's a total control freak."

Steve looked at Anna but motioned toward Danny. "See, he provokes me."

She shook her head at the both of them. "You're both stubborn. How do you work together?"

"Very well," Steve said proudly. "He's a great cop." He just then saw Gracie coming out of the house with Eric. "And an even better father. Hey Gracie!" he held his hand up, waving to her.

"Hi Uncle Steve," she waved back.

Anna watched as the young girl came up and they were introduced. Gracie didn't voice it but Anna could see the look on her face over the amusement of how much she did actually look like her movie star sister. The conversation then resumed about the snorkel gear with Steve reminding Gracie in a stern voice to watch the current when she was out in the water and to pay attention to her surroundings. He spoke to her as if she was his kid, and Danny never blinked an eye. It dawned on Anna then that they were like family. They bickered like brothers but Steve cared for them like they actually were brothers and Gracie was his niece.

Eric came around and stood in front of Steve. "I saw those pictures on the wall upstairs by the bathroom. Were you in the Army?"

Gracie laughed, "Don't say the Army! The Navy!" she corrected him. "He'll have a heart attack if you say Army!" she laughed harder and jumped back as he reached out to playfully grab her.

"You're getting as bad as your Dad," Steve laughed. He looked up at Eric, "Yes, I was in the Navy."

"Not just the Navy," Danny blurted out, knowing Steve would never divulge his honorable credentials on his own. "He was a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy Seals and worked intelligence." He smiled brightly over the stink eye he got from him.

Eric and Anna both had surprised looks.

Eric sat down on the side of Anna's chair, his eyes full of wonderment over that enlightening news. "Really?! You were a Seal? Like in that movie?"

Steve knew what movie he was talking about. It had come out a couple months earlier and was based on factual events, but he had yet to watch it, recalling vividly when it had happened. He wasn't apart of that squadron, but knew two of the guys that were killed. He had heard Hollywood did justice to the story, but having to relive what they went through just wasn't something he wanted to see. "I didn't see that movie, but yes I was a Seal for about six years. Its not all Hollywood puts it up to be."

"Ask him to show you all his medals," Danny continued.

"And his uniforms are really cool," Gracie jumped in, not having the same agenda as Danny; she was genuinely impressed by it.

"Can I see them?" Eric asked eagerly.

"Maybe later," Steve replied.

"I want to see them too," Anna replied, intrigued over this newly discovered side of him that actually explained a lot. She understood now where the motivating and commanding way in which he conducted himself came from. "Show us."

"Now?" He was surprised that she would want to see them too.

"Please!" Eric begged.

"Please," Anna repeated with a teasing smile, knowing it wasn't something he necessarily wanted to do, but she was really curious now.

Danny gave him a nudge. "Show them."

"What are you all enthusiastic for about this? You hate my Navy life."

"Hey," Danny held a hand up. "I admit the Navy man in you drives me crazy, but I also have to admit that I admire what you did for our country. That I respect."

"Wow!" Steve exclaimed getting out of the chair. "That must have hurt like hell to say."

Danny sighed, "You have no idea."

Anna and Eric followed him up the stairs while Danny and Gracie stayed out back with a still sleeping Jenny.

Anna scanned the interior of his house having never been inside before. It was neat and orderly for a bachelor but understood that part after discovering this new side of him, but it also felt comfortable and inviting. She stopped halfway up the stairs, glancing at a collage of pictures on the wall of him in his Navy days with other soldiers. Each picture was taken in a different part of the world, which was obvious. One was in the desert where he wore tan fatigues and dark sunglasses, while another was in the jungle in which he had on green fatigues and a bullet proof vest, and still another was flying high over the world as three of them hung onto a rope, leaning out the back of an airplane about to jump out she presumed.

She admired the smile on his face and the other two men as well, almost as if they were having a ball.

"That was over Uganda," Steve said of the photo.

She looked over at him as he smiled at the photo.

"You look like you're having fun."

"Those two guys I was with were like a couple of comedians. I loved jumping with them. We were a good team."

She looked back at the photo, "Do you still keep in contact with them?"

"No," he replied somberly. "They were both killed not long after that picture was taken."

She looked at him again, seeing not necessarily sadness but certainly disappointment. It was like a reality check that had never touched her life before. He had been in war. The TV news showed images but they were from someplace else, people she never knew. It made her wonder how many others he had lost. "I'm so sorry."

The sincere honesty from her was touching. He believed her. "Thank you."

She held his gaze for just a few seconds longer than they normally would have, feeling another truce forming between them. She felt she'd touched a place that he held sacred and she had replied with the right answer. '_For once,_' she thought amusingly.

"Is that your uniform?" Eric asked, pointing at Steve's Navy whites that were hanging from the curtain rod inside the spare room.

"Yes, those are my whites. My blues are over here." He went in the room after Eric, followed by Anna, going up to the black garment bag hanging in the closet and unzipped it.

Anna went past him, admiring the dark jacket but more so all the medals that were positioned on it. "Eric, come look at this."

Steve stepped back out of their way, feeling a sense of pride over their amazement and enthusiasm. He'd never really shown off his Navy attire before in this fashion.

"Wow!" Eric said wide-eyed, reaching up to touch one of the medals.

Anna quickly grabbed his hand. "Don't touch it, just look."

"It's ok," Steve assured her.

"What are they from?" Eric asked. "What do they mean?"

He pointed to the gold medal on the top that was pinned just to the left of the lapel on his jacket. It stood out amongst the rest. The distinguished golden eagle held in the grasp of its claws a colonial pistol in one and a trident in the other, while the Navy symbol of an Anchor seemed to hold them all together.

"This one is for completing BUD/S training, it's the Seal Trident medal."

Both Anna and Eric leaned in to get a better view.

"How long were you a SEAL?" Anna asked.

"A little over six years."

"Did you fight in battles?" Eric asked, knowing what a SEAL was to some extent from the movies. He did know they were the elite.

"Yes," he replied, leaving it at that. "This one down here," he pointed at the wings below the patch of other awards, "this one is my Jump Wings."

"For parachuting?" Eric asked.

"Yep."

"That's so cool."

Anna looked over at him. "How many times do you think you've jumped?"

Steve shook his head, "I don't know. I lost count after a hundred and twenty."

She rolled her eyes, chuckling, "That's crazy."

"It's really not. I mean I had to for the Navy, but I still do it every once in a while just for fun out at Bellingham Air field." He nudged her. "I could take up sometime if you want. It's unbelievably beautiful to jump over Hawaii on a clear day."

She smiled over that, wondering if he was asking her out on a date or if he was just being nice and wanting to include her in something that he new was thrilling. Either way she felt that truce between them again that assured her it was mutual. "I don't know about that," she shook her head. "You might not think it so thrilling when I throw up on you."

"Nah," Steve countered. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You're braver than you think."

"What are these for," Eric asked, pointing at the brightly colored patches of medals that hung on the jacket as Anna stood there amazed over Steve's last statement.

She listened as he explained what each one meant and why he got it, but couldn't get over the words of encouragement that he'd just shared with her. Here he was a decorated war veteran that couldn't have been much older than thirty, telling her she was the brave one. He must have sensed something in her that she didn't. It was uplifting to say the least, making her feel brave at that moment.

"How high do you jump from?" she blurted out.

He and Eric both turned to her, surprised over that question.

"Are you going to do it Anna?!" Eric asked, wide eyed with his mouth hanging open.

She shrugged, staring at Steve waiting for an answer.

"We usually go about fourteen thousand feet," he replied with a smile, knowing she had it in her, "but you wouldn't jump on your own. We'd do a tandem jump. You'd be strapped to my chest and I'd pull the cord, you'd just be along for the ride."

"Oh," she raised her eyebrows over that piece of information. The idea of jumping seemed even more attainable now, knowing he'd be right there with her the whole time. "How often do you go?"

Steve shrugged, "Whenever."

She held her hand up with the cast. "I don't think I could do it with this thing on."

He thought about it for a second and then rebuffed that claim. "Sure you could. I don't think that would hinder it at all." He could see a hint of fear in her eyes but at the same time he could see the wheels turning in her brain over his invitation. He had no qualms about taking her, knowing for one it would be safe and knowing also that she wouldn't really throw up like she first claimed. Over the last few weeks of getting to know her, she lacked confidence, that was obvious, but she was also stubborn. He felt strongly that she'd do it just to prove it to him that she could, and he'd never known anyone to say they hated it afterward, but the final decision had to be hers. "You think about it and if you want to go, you just let me know."

She was intrigued by his invitation. It not only told her that he trusted her enough to jump out of an airplane with her strapped to his chest, but that he was willing to take the time to do it in the first place. Both surprised the hell out of her. The idea of it was becoming more and more of something she might like to do, never having done anything remotely close to it. Maybe this is just what she needed to let off a little steam.

"Can I go?" Eric asked enthusiastically.

Steve and Anna both spoke simultaneously.

"No!"

They looked at each other, amused over their mutual agreement.

"I knew we'd eventually agree on something," Anna said with a wink. She put a hand on Eric's head and began to explain the reasoning behind the 'no'.

Steve only heard the voice in his head, speaking the undisputed truth. '_God she's beautiful_.'


	6. Chapter 6

Steve crouched down behind the four-foot cement wall as another string of shots rang out just over his head.

"Shit!" he groaned, keeping his face down as debris from the wall rained down on him.

"Will you stay down?!" Danny yelled at him angrily through his earpiece. "What the hell are you doing? This guy is out for blood! Do you want to satisfy that need or keep your head on?!"

"Alright!" Steve replied over the scolding but still knew something had to be done soon because this guy wasn't going to quit until he did kill someone, and having two hostages inside the store with him were easy targets if negotiations didn't go his way.

"You know as well as I do Danny that he's not going to surrender." He looked up toward a window across the way. "Kono, you got anything in view yet?"

She peered through the scope of her rifle, scanning the windows. The two hostages were bound and gagged, sitting on the floor in front of a reception desk as the gunman used them as shields; the empty casings from his gun after a rampage pelting them in the head and body.

"I can't get him without 100% assurance I'm not going to hit a hostage too. So no, I don't have a shot."

Steve sat back against the wall as another spray of gunfire erupted. He looked out in front of him and saw Sawyer coming at him, dodging from car to car and then falling to his belly and making his way over using his elbows to pull himself along the ground, weapon still in hand.

Steve scooted over as he took a position next to him with his back against the wall.

"Commander," he said, looking over at him unaffected by the gunfire he just dodged, "I thought you could use some back up."

Steve shook his head at him, but had more than a slight grin on his face. John Sawyer was a rookie that seemed to have come from the same mold as he had. An ex-Navy Seal who had returned to the islands and joined the HPD; it was Danny's worse nightmare. He fought like a soldier but had the patience of a leader. Steve new he'd move up quickly in the ranks of the force. He'd even gone as far as considering him for Five-0.  
"I appreciate the back up, Sawyer, but you know Danny's going to have a heart attack." No sooner did the words come out did both of their earpieces light up.

"Are you kidding me?" Danny yelled. "If either of you gets shot don't think the ole' Navy saying '_never leave a man behind'_ will come into play, because I'll let you bleed over that stupid move!"

Steve and Sawyer both laughed, knowing he was pissed, but also knowing it was a load of crap. Danny would be the first one in.

"Yes Sir," Steve replied. "And what do you presume we do, Danny? Wait until he runs out of patience and then offs himself with two hostages?"

"The SWAT team will be here in about two seconds. I PRESUME," he said sarcastically, "that we wait for them since they've got the armor."

Steve looked over as John spoke with his hands, using SEAL signals so Danny wouldn't hear the plan he was hatching to Steve.

"I've got all the armor I need in my hands to take out this guy," Sawyer chimed in.

It was Danny's turn to roll his eyes. "Please talk some sense into that rookie, Steve."

Steve motioned with his hand for Sawyer to stand down. "Don't worry partner I'll hold him back. Only because you asked so…" His sentence was interrupted as another rain of gunfire came from the office.

They both turned their body as a spray of bullets ricocheted off the cars in front of them. Steve looked up hearing a helicopter above, but it wasn't the SWAT chopper he was expecting to see, it was Hawaii Ten news. They kept a distance but he knew more than likely that they had a live feed on them. This type of scenario is what they lived for.

"Goddamn it," Steve yelled into his radio to Danny, not knowing if there was a TV inside the store or if the perk had someone via cell phone. "Should I just wave up at the camera so the perk inside can see our position if we move in?"

"I've got it covered," Chin jumped in. He radioed dispatch to inform the Honolulu Airport to tell the helicopter to move away from the scene.

"I've about had it with this position," Steve growled. "I'm going in the back, Danny."

Sawyer put a fresh clip in his gun. "You go left, I'll go right, we'll meet in the back?"

"Stay low, don't fire unless you've got a clean shot."

"Yes Sir," Sawyer replied, turning away in the direction he was going to go.

Steve reached back and grabbed his arm, holding him in place as a single shot rang out from inside the office, and then he heard what he feared the most, the woman screaming hysterically. He knew then the gunman had shot the other hostage.

"It's going down now!" he yelled to Danny. He rose up above the wall, with his gun pointed at the office where the glass doors used to be. The gunman had the woman around the neck with his gun pointed at her head, making his way slowly out. The other hostage lay on the floor slumped over, clearly dead by a gunshot to the head. The woman could barely stand as the fear on her face began to overtake her. Steve heard the SWAT team behind him pull up but kept his position.

Sawyer rose up next to him.

"Put down your weapon!" Sawyer shouted out to him.

"I'm walking out of here!" he yelled back, pressing the gun harder against her temple.

"There's nowhere to go," Steve said adamantly.

"Then you better find me a place or I'm going to shoot her too."

The woman screamed and Steve saw her eyes flutter close as she passed out. Her body went limp and he knew this was his chance. Sawyer sensed the same as they both came up and over the wall as the woman fainted in his arms.

The gunman went to his knees, still trying to hold onto the only shield he had when suddenly from across the way a single shot rang out, pelting him in the right shoulder and then another one as Kono hit him in the chest. He fell back with the woman lying on top of him as Steve and Sawyer both ran toward him.

Steve grabbed the woman by the arm and dragged her limp body off of him as Sawyer covered the gunman. He stepped on his wounded arm that still held the gun and bent over taking it from his hand.

Steve laid her out, checking her pulse, assured she had just fainted. As he rose back up he looked across the way and saw Sawyer bend over to take the weapon. With his free hand the still conscious gunman came from around his back and stuck a four-inch blade in the side of Sawyer's neck.

Steve watched the horror scene play out as Sawyer stumbled back and raised his gun, shooting the man twice in the face and body before he fell back to the ground.

Steve rushed over to him as the others did as well. He slid in next to him, seeing the fear and pain in his friend's eyes as he gasped for a breath, blood spitting out his mouth as he did so.

"John!" Steve shouted, putting his hand over top of his, as he tried to remove the knife. "Let it be!" he said to him, knowing if he took it out he would bleed out for sure. He looked over his shoulder to anyone that was listening. "I need a medic! Now!"

"Hold on, John!" Danny said, taking the position across from Steve. "Help is coming."

His eyes darted back and forth between the two of them as if begging for help, still gasping and trembling not able to speak even though his mouth was moving.

Steve put a hand on his head, trying to comfort him knowing he was dying. He'd seen that look before too many times. "It's alright John," he said soothingly. He felt a grip on his hand as he reached up and grabbed Steve's, clutching it tightly. He looked back over toward the ambulance that pulled up. "Get 'em over here!"

He felt the grip loosen and look backed down seeing his eyes close and the breathing come to a halt.

"No! No! No!" Steve shouted as Danny leaned over him and began CPR on his chest.

They both backed away as Paramedics took their positions and began to work on him.

Danny stood his ground, staring down at the grotesque scene as Steve paced back and forth, watching helplessly as they tried to revive him.

"Come on, John," he encouraged the lifeless body as they charged the paddles for a third time and shocked him, getting no reaction. "Come on. Fight it!"

He stopped pacing as both of the Paramedics looked at each other, somberly shaking their head, knowing he never had a chance.

It was over.

The crowded scene around them drew to a frozen silence; the only sound was the hovering helicopter above.

Steve stood staring down at John's body, thinking of his wife and the baby they had just had two months earlier.

"Anna!" Eric and Jenny both shouted from the living room as she loaded the dishwasher.

"Come here! Hurry!" Eric yelled.

She came around the corner of the family room as Jenny pointed at the TV.

"Steve's on TV!" she said excitedly, jumping up and down. "He's right there!"

Anna came around and stood in front of it, watching the breaking news footage from a helicopter as it replayed a scene in front of an office building in downtown Honolulu.

She picked he and Danny both out of the crowd immediately, grinning over Jenny's excitement and then all at once her smile slowly faded as the newscaster explained the reason behind the broadcast.

"Jenny," she said, hushing her, "be quiet." She sat down on the coffee table and picked up the remote, rewinding the DVR to hear again what had happened. She listened and watched as the scene being played out was described. She couldn't take her eyes off of Steve as he turned away from the blurred body lying on the ground that was the officer pronounced dead at the scene. He took a couple of steps and then stopped, putting his hands on his hips and then his head and shoulders dropped. She watched then as his hand came up to his face, before the camera moved to another position, but his body language was self-explanatory. She looked over at Eric who was old enough to understand. He looked back at her with the same grim expression. They both knew the signs of death and what he was feeling; their hearts going out to him.

"What's wrong?" Jenny asked, seeing it in their expressions. "Is he ok?" she looked at the TV again, fearing the worst.

Eric said nothing, thinking only at that second of his friend and how bad he must feel, tears stinging his eyes.

"It's ok Jenny," Anna reached over and pulled the child in next her. "Steve just had a bad at work day is all. He's alright."

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Anna came off the couch, finally hearing his truck pull in. It was almost midnight but she had waited up, not sure why but she just felt the need too. They'd only known each other barely six weeks but he'd been there for her when she least expected it but when she needed it the most, wanting to do the same for him.

There had been neighborly waves and smiles as they crossed paths but they'd yet to have another real conversation since the day he'd taken the kids kayaking. Jenny and Eric however spoke to him almost daily, especially Jenny.

She came out the door and across the lawn up to his fence that separated their yards just as he was walking to his door. "Steve," she called out just loud enough for him to hear.

He stopped but didn't turn back, "Not now Anna," his voice mirroring all the weariness from the long day. He didn't have it in him for a conversation or any other kind of negative confrontation that she wanted to throw at him. It was almost midnight and he couldn't think of any other reason for her to be out there chasing after him unless it was negative.

"I saw the news."

The tone of her voice was sincere, catching him off guard. He felt bad for thinking the worst about her when she was just trying to be nice. For the first time since losing Becky, he missed that part of a relationship of having someone there.

"I'm so sorry, Steve." She put her hands over her heart not having to see his face to know that he was hurting. "If there's anything I can do, or if there's anything that you need. Is there…anything you need?" She didn't know why she added that, not knowing what it was that she could possibly give him; a meal perhaps or just company, even though she had no idea what she would say to him.

He turned his head just slightly, "No, but thank you, Anna." He continued on into the house.

She stood there watching as he went inside and the lights came on. She saw him through the window sit down on the couch and run his hands over his face and then lay back out of her line of sight. She turned and started back to her own house as a tear fell down her face, reliving her brother and sister-in-laws death.

She knew Steve had lost people in his life that were close to him, both friends and family but she couldn't get over the feeling of wanting to be there for him now, even if he didn't want her to be. Over the past few weeks they had become not only neighbors but also something else. At times he infuriated her, but it was times like this that she felt sorry for him that he was all alone.

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Jenny sat on the door stoop of her house watching patiently for Steve to come out of his house and get his paper like he did almost every morning. It had become a ritual between the two of them over the past couple of weeks to meet at his fence and have a morning chat. She was going to be starting school again soon and was going to miss this time with him.

She sat up when she thought she heard his door, but to her dismay it wasn't. She took another bite of her bagel and cream cheese focusing back on her duty.

"Are you waiting for Steve?" Anna asked, standing behind her.

"Yes," she sighed. "He hasn't got his paper yet."

She put a hand on her head, stroking her hair. "He got home really late last night so I don't want you bothering him today, ok?"

She looked up over her shoulder at her. "But we talk to each other every day."

Anna squatted down and used her thumb to wipe off a smudge of cream cheese on her cheek. "I know you do, but today is different. If he doesn't come out, I don't want you to go over and knock on his door, ok?"

"Is he mad at me?"

"No Jenny of course not. He just had a really bad day at work yesterday."

"What happened? Why was he on TV?"

Anna wasn't sure what to tell her but decided that keeping it from her wasn't right either. Unfortunately the five year old understood loss all too well. "One of his friends, another police officer, was hurt really bad yesterday."

She shifted her body so she could see her, the child's eyes full of fear and sadness. "Did he die?"

Anna paused and then nodded, feeling for him once again.

Her heart then went out to Jenny as her eyes began to get watery and then her bottom lip curled.

The first tear fell and splashed on her bagel as Anna sat down on the floor with her.

"Why does everyone die," she whimpered.

Anna put her arms around her wanting to explain and give her an explanation but didn't have one. She could give her the whole, 'it's a part of life speech' or 'everyone is born and everyone goes to heaven' theory, but neither of them made sense to her either at the time. They had dealt with so much of it over the last few months that trying to justify it seemed like a lie. It hurt to lose someone. It hurt badly. She felt there was nothing wrong with letting Jenny grieve for her parents, or for Steve.

They both looked up as they heard his front door close. He walked toward his truck wearing his gun and badge on his hip, leaving for work earlier than usual.

Jenny wiped her face off and stood up as he backed his truck up. She watched him turn it around and start down the street but not before he looked in her direction.

She forced a smile for him and waved with just her fingers.

He slowed down and returned the gesture, feeling bad for leaving her hanging that morning but he had too much to do at the office with the death of John. He looked from Jenny to Anna, recalling her kindness from the night before. She could be the most infuriating woman at times, and then there were times like last night that made her seem the complete opposite. He waved to her as well.

She smiled, acknowledging it. She knew his day was going to be just as tough as the previous, having to deal with the aftermath. Dating Daryl had given her an insight into the life of a Police Officer, even though Daryl was no cop in comparison to Steve, she thought.

"He looked so sad," Jenny declared looking up at her. "Can I make a card for him?"

She smiled down at the little girl, rubbing her hand gently over the smooth cheek, seeing her father in her. "I think that would be very nice."

She went up the stairs as Anna closed the door, wishing again there was something she could do for him too. Some gesture that he couldn't turn down, knowing he was the type of man that didn't take help from others easily. It amused her that they had that in common as well. It would have to be something that didn't take his permission, or a yes or no answer, yet she wanted it to say thank you for all that he'd done for them over the past few weeks without actually saying it, knowing actions spoke louder than words.

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It was a cloudy day and the threat of rain hovered all around, but a drop had yet to fall on the crowd. A tent was set up around the gravesite just incase, but only a handful of people were under it, the others stood just outside not caring if it rained on them or not, they weren't going to budge or show their annoyance even if a hurricane erupted. They were there for John, for his wife and baby daughter who would never know her father; most considered that the biggest tragedy of all, including Steve.

He stood next to Danny, Chin and then Kono; the three of them in their dress uniforms that were recently pressed for the occasion. Steve however out of respect for John's Navy life wore his dress blues. He looked as the others did, capable and resilient, but he felt none of that inside.

He hated death. He hated the way it crippled a person and made them feel helpless and afraid. He stared at the coffin seeing John lying on the ground looking up at him, begging him for help. He couldn't do anything for him except grip his hand and tell him it was going to be ok; a lie.

He looked at John's wife who held their baby in her arms. Tears streamed down her face as the minister spoke of the courageous efforts that her husband had exemplified throughout his life. Leaving behind a legacy for his daughter to be proud of.

He and John had been similar in so many ways it became almost comical to most, some even calling John 'Little Commander' as a running joke, but as Steve stared at his family it dawned on him that John had more to live up to than he ever had. The night before he was struggling with being alone, even going as far as missing Becky, but now as he stood there looking at the devastation in the widow's heartbroken expression, he didn't feel that loneliness so much anymore. He knew the risks of his job and didn't want to ever leave anyone behind to suffer like that. His legacy would probably die with him, and he was ok with that.

He looked away from her, focusing back on the casket as the eulogy went on. He felt at a low point in his life with so much sadness around him. The event taking place was unjust. It shouldn't have come down to this. He should have been watching John's back more closely, beginning to question his actions that day, but deep down he knew it all came down to that second of who was positioned where. He couldn't honestly say that he would have done anything differently if it were he that went to the perk rather than John. It could be him lying in that casket.

He looked at his wife again as the baby began to get fussy and cry, wishing in that moment of despair that it would have been him. He turned just slightly focusing on Danny. A wave of panic swept over him. Just the thought of seeing Gracie in that same spot as the widow was a devastating blow to his emotions that he never wanted to see. That fear began to creep its way into his head again, not fear for himself but others around him that he loved. If he lost any of them, especially Danny, that thought alone was crippling. They were all he had.

He turned away just then and scanned the crowd, seeing the wives and children of fellow officers who stood with him. He couldn't help but obtain a sense of pride that his colleagues must have felt by having them attend. Even Gracie was there.

He knew the only family he had was standing next to him, but before that thought even had a chance to settle he saw them.

Anna gripped tightly onto Jenny's hand not sure how this reception was going to come across as she watched him scan the crowd, and then his attention focused on her, seeing the three of them for the first time. She held her breath, studying his reaction, considering for that moment that maybe she had made a mistake until his eyes moved from to her to Eric and then down to Jenny, knowing in that second that she had done the right thing. He was pleased.

She didn't see anger in his expression but only wonderment over their appearance and when he looked back at her she held her breath again but for a different reason. His penetrating gaze from across the way expressed his gratitude in so many unspoken words that she felt the warmth from it, acknowledging him and his appreciation with a gentle smile.

He had no words to describe what it felt like to have them there and more than anything else he knew without a shadow of a doubt the only reason they were there was for him. They didn't know John. They only knew him. This greatly appreciated gesture was ranked up there among a few other choice memories that he cherished. It was also one of the most unexpected gifts he'd ever received, lifting his spirits when he needed it most.

They had even dressed the part. Eric had on a pair of black pants and a light blue shirt with a dark blue tie, his thick blond hair neatly combed, while Jenny wore a white sundress with dark blue flowers printed on it. Her bleach blond hair in a neatly organized mass on top of her head, but it was Anna's attire that impressed him the most. He'd never seen her in anything except shorts and T-shirts. The mid-thigh black dress she wore hung just tightly enough around her body to show off her exquisite figure but not enough to be revealing. Even the pink cast she wore looked somehow fitting. Her sun kissed blond hair hung straight, a portion of it draped over her shoulder, lying elegantly over her breasts. She looked beautiful.

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The funeral came to a close as the crowd quietly dispersed, leaving the widow and her family at the gravesite alone before they would all meet up at a second location so the attendees could express their condolences and talk stories of John.

Steve turned to Danny as they began to make their way across the damp grass. "Hey, hold up for a second." He motioned toward Anna and the kids.

Danny looked over and saw them, getting the same shocked and then appreciative expression that Steve had. "Wow," he looked over at him. "That was decent of her."

Steve nodded, "Unexpected too."

Danny reached in his coat pocket, "Here," he said, handing him the keys to the Camaro. "I'll catch a ride over with Chin and Kono. I'll see you over there."

"Thanks," he said taking the keys. He looked back over as Anna and the kids began making their way toward the parked cars.

She heard her name and stopped, still holding Jenny's hand as all three of them turned, seeing him make his way over to where they were standing.

His appearance was beyond inspiring; making the uniform seem even more impressive than it did hanging in his closet. Her wore it well and he wore it with confidence. It made her feel safe in a turbulent world that men like him were protecting them. As he neared she saw the man she knew outside of the uniform as he smiled graciously at them, making her knees feel weak. That had only happened to her once before as she stood next to her sister on the red carpet of a Hollywood event and was introduced to Brad Pitt. Steve held those same striking qualities but unlike Pitt, he had no idea he possessed them, that's what impressed her the most. He was quite possibly the best looking man she had ever met.

"Ouch, Anna," Jenny said of her hand holding, "that's too tight."

She looked down at the grip that had the child's fingers turning white. She quickly let go. "I'm sorry honey." She looked back up as he stood before them.

"Hi," he said, greeting her first and then put a hand on Eric's shoulder. "Hey buddy. Thanks for coming."

He smiled up at him, seeing the same impressiveness that Anna had. It made him feel privileged that they were friends. "Hey." His expression showed his sorrow. "I'm sorry about your friend." It made him think of his father just then and the funeral they had attended only a few months prior, tears stinging his eyes without warning.

Steve sensed what he was feeling and put an arm around his shoulder, giving him a small hug. "Thank you."

Eric nodded and pulled away not wanting to seem wimpy to the man standing there in the uniform. He looked up at Anna, giving her an encouraging smile letting her know he was ok. It had been her only concern about coming when she had mentioned it to them the night before, wanting to make sure they would be alright with being at a gravesite so soon after their parent's death, but after thinking it over he and Jenny both agreed they could, and should, wanting to do it mainly for Steve.

He looked down at Jenny next, a smile instantly erupting on his face over the sweet one on hers. "Sorry I've missed our morning chats."

"That's ok," she declared wholeheartedly. She held up a blue piece of folded cardboard paper to him. "I made this for you."

He took the paper, knowing it was some sort of drawing, having seen several around Danny's house from when Grace was younger, but never having the privilege of receiving one himself. "Thank you, Jenny." He opened it to a picture of what he presumed was his house considering it was white with a red roof and the ocean was in the back. There were two people in the water. He read the words below that were written in the child's handwriting. '_Don't be sad my Mommy will cook dinner for your friend and my Daddy will play golf with him. We can go swimming.'_

He looked up at Anna over the choice of words, knowing Jenny never could have written it.

She shrugged, "Her exact words, I just told her how to spell it."

Jenny stared up at him waiting eagerly for his response. She had worked diligently on the card; the final was her fifth draft.

He focused back on her, putting a hand under her chin and stroking her cheek with his thumb. "This makes me feel so much better," he said sincerely. "Thank you."

She radiated from it, even going so far as blushing over the attention, giving a small leap over her triumph.

He looked back up at Anna as they both grinned over her happiness.

He continued to gaze at Anna, having no words for her thoughtful act. She had left him speechless showing up there with the kids.

She felt a flutter in her stomach feeling she might blush more than Jenny had over his attention, looking away. "We should get going. I'm sure you have someplace you need to be."

"You can come if want," he said. "I mean," he quickly explained, seeing the uncomfortable expression cross her face, "it's going to be more of a get together to celebrate who John was, not a gathering to mourn him. It's not going to be a subdue affair I can promise you that. That's not how we do things here."

She hesitated not quite sure how to respond when she looked down at the kids who stared up at her eagerly. She knew those faces. They both desperately wanted to go, knowing mainly they just wanted to follow him. She glanced back up at him. "Are you sure its ok?"

"Come on," he said motioning toward the parking lot as he started walking. "It's more than ok."

"Where is it?" she asked following behind him.

"You can follow me."

"Can I ride with you?" Eric asked him.

He glanced back at Anna for her permission.

"I don't care," she replied.

"Me too," Jenny joined in. "I want to go with you too, in your car. Can I?"

He smiled back at Anna once again.

She shook her head, waving her arms for them to go. "Go ahead, just don't lose me."

"Lose you?" Steve chuckled. "Are you kidding me? A beautiful blond tailing me, no way I'm going to lose you." He didn't look back to see the smile on her face, but looked over at Eric instead. "You driving?" He dangled the keys in front of him and just as he was about to swipe them out of his and he held them out of his reach. "Dream on."

Eric laughed, reaching up and playfully shoving him on the arm, using his own words against him. "Smart aleck."

Jenny jumped up and down as she walked next to him, wanting to join in the fun. "Can I drive, Steve?"

"Sure." He gave her the keys.

"Now we're in for it," Eric laughed.

Anna walked behind them, watching the fun between the three of them. They loved being with him so much and it seemed he really enjoyed having them around. It made her appreciate him all the more, not just for his military duty, or his civil duty as a police officer, but for being a good neighbor. He went above and beyond it seemed in everything he did.

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The gathering took place at a home of another rookie that John had graduated the Police Academy with. His widow stayed just long enough to greet most of the guests that arrived immediately after the funeral, some exiting right away after the toasts in John's name while others hung around and talked more casually about some of the adventures they'd had with him, including a couple of his Seal buddies that had flown in for the funeral. The mood changed as the toasts became more frequent, laughter was heard from time to time and the kids were finally allowed to be kids.

Steve walked up and handed Anna another glass of white wine after they had made the rounds and spoke to the people that he needed too.

"Have you seen Eric and Jenny?" she asked scanning the crowd.

"Yea," he pointed over his shoulder. "They met up with some of the other kids and are playing in the back yard."

"This isn't like any kind of after funeral gathering I have ever been too. I know you said we don't do things that way here, but my brother and sister-in-laws funerals were not like this."

"Are you offended," he asked, wondering if maybe she thought it too much like a party.

"No," she quickly responded. "Not at all. I just wasn't expecting this I guess." She commented on the keg of beer and bottles of wine on ice in buckets.

"It's all about the Aloha. John would be standing right along with us with a bottle of Longboard." He felt that familiar pain of sadness associated with death, missing his friend.

He also thought the opportunity was there to find out more about Jenny and Eric's parents that had passed away. "Do you mind if I ask about your brother?"

She tilted her head, intrigued over that. "Sure. What do you want to know?"

"What was he like, and your sister-in-law?"

Anna sighed. "Mark was always a worker, work, work, work; even when he was younger. He didn't just want the job at McDonalds he wanted to run McDonalds. It carried over to his adult life as well. He had a successful business here with shipping contracts. Lisa was a stay at home mom. She had a marketing degree but after Eric was born she quit her job. I wish I could say that I knew her well, but I didn't." She took a drink of her wine, and continued to stare into the glass. "I hadn't seen or spoken to Mark in almost a year before the accident. I feel so bad about that now. We were both just so busy and time goes by so fast." She looked up at him. "You never know how much you miss someone until they are gone forever." She glanced around the gathering then and realized her words might have come across as insensitive. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Not here. It's not like you don't know what that feels like."

"If you can't talk death at funeral, where can you?" he smiled, letting her know he wasn't offended.

She let out a small chuckle over that, taking another drink of her wine. "I guess your right."

He got a whiff of her perfume as a gentle breeze blew in from the open patio door, alerting his senses of the pleasant aroma. "You really surprised me today," he confessed.

She knew he was speaking of she and the kids showing up. "I wasn't sure if you'd be happy or not, but we wanted to come."

"I'm glad you did."

She gave him a shy smile before turning and pretending to scan the gathering for the kids again. It was his presence that was causing her to feel flustered. She'd never felt this way around him before, but standing this close to him now and having a real conversation was causing her hands to sweat. Her insides felt that same exhilaration as when he approached them at the funeral. Two young girls interrupted the moment as they approached them.

"Aren't you Alyssa Jordan?" one asked, her eyes already showing that star-struck look that Anna had seen on fans so many time before. "Can we have your autograph?"

"No, I'm not Alyssa Jordan" Anna replied dryly, "and don't you think it's highly inappropriate to ask that right now. Look around you girls at where you're at."

They both turned red over the mistake. "You just look so much like her," the other one said.

Anna held up her cast. "Another clue. If Alyssa Jordan broke her arm it would probably be on the national news," she said sarcastically, "at least the front page of MSN."

The two girls looked at each other sheepishly, believing now that she couldn't possibly be Alyssa Jordan and walked away.

Steve watched her mumble something incoherently and take another drink of her wine, clearly irritated by the encounter. He recalled the time he had made the same mistake, getting the same angry reaction.

"That drives you crazy, doesn't it?" he asked, knowing it must happen more than he thought, considering two people had already approached him at the gathering, asking how he knew Alyssa Jordan.

She rolled her eyes, "Sometimes I think about dying my hair black, but Alyssa would probably do the same thing just to spite me."

He was getting the clear picture that these two identical twins didn't have the standard loving relationship that twins generally displayed. "I sense some animosity there."

Anna looked at him as if that was the statement of the year. "Just a bit." She shook her head and sighed, feeling that same tension she usually had when discussing Alyssa, wishing now she hadn't come across so bitchy about it. "I'm sorry. My sister and I are the same from head to toe on the outside, but on the inside we couldn't be more different." She looked in the direction the two young girls had gone, regretting her harsh tone now. "I shouldn't have been so mean to those girls."

Steve shrugged, "I think you said the right thing. It wasn't appropriate for them to approach you here. I think they knew it too."

"They probably did, but people do the oddest things when they are star struck. You'd be amazed," she said with wide eyes as if she'd seen things that couldn't be explained.

"I bet," he chuckled.

"Have you ever met anyone famous?" she asked, knowing her sister would be coming to the island soon, wondering what his reaction would be. Most tried to act nonchalant when they first met her, but she had a charisma that sucked most men in. They couldn't help but feel enamored of her.

"I met a couple of Presidents but I don't think I've ever met anyone you could call a movie star."

"Hmm. You'll meet my sister. She's coming in a few weeks to see the kids and spread her joy around." Anna rolled her eyes again.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I just don't get the whole star struck thing. They're just people who…"

"Who put their pants on one leg at a time?" she grinned, assuming she was finishing his cliché sentence about famous people.

"No," he said with a raised eyebrow, finishing his thought, "who don't impress me whatsoever. I'm more impressed by the woman who leaves her life behind to take care of two kids." He gently nudged her. "You're the real star of the family."

She looked down, flattered over his compliment, feeling her face flush. "Oh yea," she lifted her hand showing the cast, "some star. This is an imperfection compared to Alyssa's perfect skin."

Steve took her broken hand and raised it to his mouth, kissing the back of her fingers, "Its not a flaw but a warrior wound. Wear it proudly."

"I fell out of a tree because I was drunk and bawling," she reminded him.

"There's nothing wrong with letting off a little steam. You're there every morning and every night for Jenny and Eric. How many times do I have to remind you of that? You don't give yourself enough credit."

Anna rose her glass to him, "Ok. Thank you," she smiled, finally accepting his compliment.

He tapped his glass of beer against her wine glass. "You're welcome."

The evening was another rare moment between the two of them where they actually got along. Her showing up at the funeral meant more to him than anything had in a long time. He looked at her hand, recalling the night it happened and how upset she was sitting up in that tree. He was right in saying that she was there every night and every morning with those kids. Since they'd moved in he'd yet to see or hear of her leaving the house for a night out or time for herself. He couldn't imagine being cooped up like that, especially when you lived so close to one of the most vibrant cities in the world like Waikiki.

"A friend of mine was telling me about this new place in Waikiki that serves great sushi," he said casually. "I've been wanting to go and check it out. Do you want to come with me?"

She looked at him startled. "Me?" she asked surprised over the invitation.

He shrugged, "Well yea. You could probably use a night out away from the kids and I bet I could get Gracie, Danny's daughter to babysit."

She was still turning the offer over in her head while he went on, making plans for a babysitter as if he'd thought this out, but it didn't sound like a date, yet she couldn't tell for sure. The idea of starting a new relationship was not something she had even considered, especially with someone who lived right next door, but the idea of getting out of the house was so intriguing she couldn't pass it up. She decided to treat it as a friendly invitation and accept. She'd pay her own way she thought cleverly, that way she would be free of the humiliation if she assumed it was a date and it didn't actually turn out to be that at all.

He stared down at her, waiting for her reply. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head over the suggestion. It dawned on him then, retracing his words, wondering if he'd made it sound like an invitation or a date? He wasn't sure how he felt if she considered it the later of the two. She was beautiful and when the stars were aligned just right, they seemed to get along just fine, but he wasn't sure if he was ready for that again, especially with someone that lived right next door. The kids he didn't mind, hating the term 'baggage' when it came to describing dating a woman with kids. It was the baggage that he carried from the break up with Becky that caused him the most concern.

"I'd like that," she finally replied. "I could use a night out."

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Steve got out of Anna's SUV, catching a ride home with her and the kids instead of having Danny drop him.

"Thanks for the lift."

"You're welcome." She looked in the backseat at two exhausted kids; Jenny was passed out while Eric was on the verge of it. "Oh great," she sighed. "Jenny can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Gotta love that about her, but getting her inside is the real challenge."

"Need some help?" Steve opened up the back door of the car and reached over Jenny, gently shaking Eric. "Hey, you up? We're home."

He made a curled up face and moaned.

"Too much partying, " Anna grinned at him from the other side while undoing Eric's seat belt.

He did the same to Jenny's as she fell against him, still sound asleep. He lifted her out of the car and followed Anna and Eric inside and up the steps.

She pointed to the first door on the right. "That's Jenny's room," she whispered as she guided a sleepy Eric to his room.

Steve went in forgoing the light, having enough from the hallway to see her bed. He laid her down, slipping her sandals off her feet and then covering her up. He turned to leave when he heard the small voice.

"Kiss Daddy," she said with her eyes still closed.

He paused, not sure what to do and then decided in the spare of the moment that it couldn't hurt, so he bent over and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight sweetie."

She never made a sound or even an acknowledgment that he'd done it. She didn't even feel it.

He on the other hand got a rare glimpse inside the life of what it would be like to have a family. It shocked him how that simple gesture made him feel. The thought of living alone had never bothered him in the past, but now suddenly the idea of going home to an empty house just seemed depressing.

"Is she all tucked in?" Anna asked, coming up behind him.

"Yea," he said clearing his throat, trying to shake off the loneliness, but it was relentless, until he stepped out into the hallway and got a glimpse of Anna's room.

His first thought was of Becky. She had been in that room almost everyday having sex behind his back with the man she had left him for. He had loved her, even though it never came out vocally, he had. He'd changed his life for her, and how did life reward him? By stopping on his chest.

Flashes of her in bed with Jeff played out in his head, kissing him, touching him in ways she used to touch him. It shouldn't have ended like that. He didn't deserve to be betrayed that way.

He'd been blaming himself the whole time for not being more emotionally available to her, when in fact it was she who had been the selfish one. He couldn't let that anger go. It was like a stab in the back. He turned toward the stairs to leave otherwise he felt he might go in that room and tear it apart.

Anna couldn't help but notice him staring into her bedroom, wondering if he were picturing the two of them in there together. Her heart began to race over the notion of that as he stood there looking as he did in his Navy uniform with that smoldering look in his eyes. She began to think that maybe she had been wrong about the invitation he proposed earlier; maybe it was a date. She was flattered that he would see her in that way, especially after the rocky way in which their friendship began. Looking back now she had disliked him solely for the reason that he was similar to Daryl and she had been so angry with he and Alyssa over their deception. But as she stood there now looking at Steve she felt bad for all her outbursts, he was nothing like the man that had cheated on her and left her broken hearted. She felt she could trust him when for so long she had feared she would never be able to trust another man, ever.

She secretly hoped his invitation was a date as she followed him down the stairs.

"Thanks for helping me get the kids to bed."

He didn't respond but reached for the door handle to get out.

"How about Saturday night," Anna blurted out.

Steve turned to her, "What?"

"Sushi," she grinned.

"Oh yea," he nodded, forgetting about his offer in the heat of the moment, not having the same enthusiasm as before in light of his mood. She stood on the bottom step smiling at him, patiently waiting for an answer. She looked as innocently sweet and beautiful as if Jenny were standing there, waiting to see if he would take she and Eric swimming. The anger took a backseat as he thought back to the reason he had asked her in the first place. She obviously wanted to get out, seeing it in her expression and the fact that she had reminded him.

"Saturday works for me. I'll talk to Gracie about watching the kids and let you know."

"Ok!"

She came off the bottom step and he swore he saw a 'Jenny leap' in her step. It made him smile.

He was glad he had invited her.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve came across the yard, glancing at his watch. He was a couple minutes early but was starving and hoped Anna was one of those women that was ready early, and not later. He knew Eric and Jenny had already gone to Danny's house, so she shouldn't have had any distractions.

She opened her front door just before he stepped up on the front porch. "Hi."

"Hi to you too," he replied, admiring the look that she had put together for their outing, still not sure if she considered it a date or just a dinner. Her attire wasn't one where he could generally make an assumption. She had her hair pulled back away from her face in a clip. Her blue dress was fitted around her curvy figure, which made it seem elegant, yet she wore it with a pair of sparkly silver flip-flops that gave off the impression of casual. He wasn't one for knowing fashion or whether something should go with something else, but what he did know at that second was that Anna looked stunning and he felt privileged that she'd be sharing a table with him.

Anna came out and slowly closed the door behind her. She didn't think she would ever see him look sexier than he did in his Navy uniform, but as he stood there in a pair of dark jeans and a starched white shirt open at the collar with his deep Hawaiian tan, she had to argue with herself, which he wore better.

He motioned to her cast free hand. "When did it come off?"

She wiggled her fingers and smiled. "Two days ago." She held it up to him proudly, "No scratching scars."

"Smart girl." He took her by the hand and examined it, flipping it over and only seeing one small scar just below her thumb, but it wasn't from the fall. "How did you get that scar?"

She let out a chuckle, "When I was about twelve I was building a fort in my backyard and cut myself on a piece of glass."

"A fort?" he asked amused. "Were you starting a club?"

"No," she sighed, "I shared a room with my sister at the time and I was building it mainly to just keep people out."

He looked at the small scar once again, caressing his thumb over it before he let her hand go. "I had a sister too," he smiled, "I can validate those feelings."

His touch on her was the same as when he was in her kitchen that day after she broke her wrist, it was gentle. It always seemed to catch her by surprise due to his rugged exterior, it wasn't expected.

She smoothed down the front of her dress, "I hope this is ok. I wasn't sure how nice or how casual of a place this was."

"You look perfect."

He stuck his elbow out to her. "And ready early. I like that. You must be anxious for a night out. I hope I don't disappoint you."

Anna smiled shyly, taking his arm. "I'm sure you won't."

It showed every sign of being date, which flattered her beyond words.

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Steve got out of his truck and slammed the door shut.

Anna did the same on the other side.

She didn't bother to turn around or speak to him as she trotted her way angrily across his driveway and out the gate toward her house, mumbling under her breath.

"If you have something to say, just say it," Steve growled.

She looked over her shoulder surprised he was there. "Why are you following me?"  
"Following you?" he snapped, chuckling sarcastically at that statement. "I'm not following you! I don't know what planet you come from, but on mine when a man drops a woman off, regardless of the shitty night, he makes sure she gets home safely."

"Shitty night?" she spat back. "You have only yourself to blame."

"Me?" he pointed at his chest as they came up on her stoop. "You're the one that complained about every little thing all night. The poor waitress was practically in tears," he exaggerated.

Anna fumbled through her purse for her keys. "Aww, the poor thing. And I bet she would have just loved to fall into your arms for comfort. She was a little flirt!"

"Jesus," he groaned, "where do you come up with this stuff?"

She turned around, holding the keys in her hand. "Are you going to stand there and deny it? Seriously?"

He was furious at her, wanting to say yes and that she was being a spoiled brat, but he couldn't deny that the waitress had been a little over the top, but he considered it just a play for a good tip, not necessarily directed at him. He was going to retaliate by saying that every guy in the place was gawking at her, but didn't think he could pull that off as being something he was annoyed with.

"You played right along with her," Anna blasted him. "It was humiliating! If you wanted to pick up on women tonight you should have gone alone!"

That sent him over the top. "What?! I was not picking up on her! I was just being nice! That's another trait from my planet. We are NICE to people and say please and thank you when we are given something or," he held his arms out angrily, "taken out to a nice dinner. I can't imagine you saying thank you for anything!"

"I say thank you! I've told you thank you!"

"Yea," he grumbled, "and it felt as sincere as a driving nails into my skull!"

She looked horrified over that remark. "You want a proper thank you for that dinner? Here!" She cupped the back of his neck and pulled him in, pressing her lips on his. There was absolutely no thank you in the gesture.

He tried to pull back without hurting her, but the hold was relentless. She finally released him and he glared at her as she stood her ground.

"Happy now?"

"That's about what I thought," he huffed, "you're kiss is as cold as you are."

"And your lips were about as emotionally expressive as I figured they would be. You call me cold? I got a chill!"

She didn't know it but she had just dug the knife into the same wound that he'd been nursing since losing Becky, and having been told again that he was emotionally detached was like pouring salt in that wound. That wasn't him. He didn't want to believe Becky and he certainly wasn't going to give Anna Jordan the satisfaction of being right. So he did what he felt he had too. He took her this time by the back of the neck and pulled her in, only his kiss wasn't forceful and demanding like the hold he had around her waist was.

She put her hand on his chest to push him off when she felt his arm slide around her back and grip her tightly by the waist. He tilted his head just slightly and the strength of the hold was nothing like the kiss that he was laying on her at that second. He was trying to prove a point and no matter how much she wanted to resist and prove him wrong, she couldn't make herself push him away. She hadn't been kissed that way in a long time, maybe ever.

He felt her hand on his chest, ready to break away at her slightest defiance, but it wasn't a resistance touch like he was anticipating, instead she wavered and leaned back against the door, reaching down with her other hand for support on the frame, not wanting to give him the complete satisfaction of knowing just how much she was enjoying it. He on the other hand caught on to her defiance, finding it charming and a boost to his ego. It was what he had been hoping for. He prolonged the moment enjoying the feel of her as well. Once her guard was down, she felt every bit as good as she looked.

He finally broke away, still holding her in place with very little personal space between them.

Neither said a word as they stared at each other, both feeling the same effect from it but neither wanting to confess it to the other, or worse yet, say something that would ruin it, instead they took a silent truce and both leaned into each other at the same time, partaking another kiss. This time Anna let nature take it's course, giving him what he had just given her.

The two participating equally was off the charts as far as kisses went. The competition now to out do the other only increased the staying power. They wanted to hate it but neither could break away from it either, even if someone had put a wedge between them and tried to pry them apart, it would have been useless.

All he could think about now was what she would be like in bed. All that anger and heated frustration she harbored toward him had turned into an aphrodisiac, and he wanted it. Not to mention that she was drop dead gorgeous, that he had been fighting since the first time he laid eyes on her.

He didn't have an approach to broach the delicate subject; this wasn't a typical good night kiss. He was about to forgo the fantasy when she broke away from him; to his pleasure her mind was on the same path as he.

"Do you…" she hesitated almost breathless, knowing her chances were fifty-fifty and probably worse than that. "Do you want to come inside?" She held her breath, feeling the humiliation if she got the wrong answer.

He didn't answer her in words but with his arm still around her waist he simply guided her through the door, closing it behind him.

He held her there, neither of them reaching for the lights.

She felt his hand caress her throat as he stared at her lips, holding her closer than when they had kissed.

"I wasn't flirting with that waitress," he whispered to her. "I couldn't even pick her out of a line up."

Anna bit her bottom lip trying not to smile, "Are you just that nice to everyone then?" she teased him.

"If we ever end up going out again," he grinned, "I'll be sure to act like an LA prick if that's what you're used too."

She moved her hand up his arm and over his shoulder until it was around his neck, "Jerk," she panted, feeling his rapid heartbeat against her breasts.

He slowly leaned in for another kiss. "Brat."

She stood on her toes to get every bit of what he was offering.

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She fell back on her bed as he came down with her, bracing both hands on either side of her body, kissing her again. She pulled him down, not realizing just how much she had missed the feeling of a man on top of her. Steve didn't feel like Daryl had though, he was leaner and he certainly kissed better than Daryl had. His touch was softer even though his palms were rough; she hardly noticed, too caught up in the way they glided up her body.

She felt something inside of her shift as he moved from her lips to her neck. Unlike her sister, her sexual experience had been minimal. Daryl had been her first true love and even with him she'd never taken the initiative, it was always him that had instigated it and then finished it, more often than not before she had a chance to really enjoy it. But right here at that moment she felt sexy and desirable, knowing that Steve wanted her. He was without a doubt the best looking man she had ever been with and the reaction from the waitress tonight only solidified the fact that he was desirable to other women as well. The waitress wasn't the only one she had caught admiring him. It had made her self conscious and angry earlier, but suddenly now it gave her confidence and made her feel dominant. He was with her, not them.

Her hands went over his shirt, unbuttoning it, which told him she wanted this as much as he did. He didn't think about afterward or tomorrow or how this would affect their lives, he was too caught up in her at the moment to think about any of that.

He knew her dress had no zippers or buttons on it. He'd spent a majority of the evening scanning that outfit. The information came in useful to him now. He slid his hand under it, beginning at her thigh, gathering the thin material in his hand as he made his way up, lifting it over her head, looking down at her exposed breasts and bright red panties. The sight was breathtaking to say the least.

She followed his eyes as he scanned her body, trying to see if he saw in her what she saw on him. It wasn't until he made eye contact that all her worries were put to rest. She reached behind her head and fumbled with the clip that held her hair in place, feeling it release and then tossing it on the side table. He rested on his elbows watching intently as she slid her fingers inside the blond silk and pulled it around, laying it across her chest, scarcely covering her breasts.

His heart began to race as the thought of being inside her swept through his head. She was the most challenging woman he'd ever met, yet at the same time she was also the most incredibly beautiful and admirable one he'd ever met. The combination was fatal in his want for her.

He kissed her again igniting that fire in Anna, compelling her to take the lead and take from him what she wanted so badly at the moment she could hardly contain her enthusiasm. She just knew once it began it was going to be explosive and better yet, she hoped unpredictable. He just seemed reckless to her in that sense. She used her toes to gently caresses the back of his leg over his jeans, slowly moving it up as her legs parted around him all the while trying her best to tantalize him with her tongue during the marathon kiss.

That seductive move cleared the path for him. He pushed off of her and sat up between her legs, undoing his belt as she worked on the zipper, both with the same enthusiasm, anticipating the next few seconds and barely able to control the excitement from it.

He stared at her lips as she unintentionally licked them while undressing him. He let out a soft moan over that and leaned over her, taking possession of them once again.

Her heart beat so hard she could almost feel the blood coursing through her body, every nerve begging to be touched and caressed by this man that had her head spinning. And then all at once as if he read her mind he touched her in the place that was most aching for him. Just like earlier it wasn't impatient or needy, but delicate, making her body shutter. She reached down and gripped the wrist of his hand that was pleasuring her so much she wasn't sure she could hold back the release that was begging to get out.

He understood her reaction and moved his hand around the outside of her thigh as hers moved up his arm, squeezing his bicep that was flexed as he held himself up just barely above her so he could see her face, all the while removing the cumbersome jeans that separated them.

Her nails dug into his shoulder and back as he rolled to the side, taking her with him and then with his free hand, pulled her panties down over her legs, rolling back over on top of her, separating her legs again with his knee. She raised her hips off the bed joining the effort, never feeling anything quite so pleasurable before as the way he entered her, like before it was patient and gentle.

Her body wrapped around him as he began to move more freely, the sensation that rippled through him only encourage the progression, not to mention the pleasurable sounds that came from Anna, those alone were enough to satisfy him knowing she was enjoying it as much as he was.

She held tightly around his shoulders, his face buried in her neck. She could feel his gasps of warm breath from every stroke of his body as he held her close. The pace increased as he lifted up, searching out her lips. The kiss wasn't direct but more or less tantalizing which was even more fun. His pace slowed to an almost questionable stride and she looked up at him, feeling a slight disappointment.

"Did you…" she hesitated, breathless from what had transpired so far, wondering if he had finished, leaving her longing for more like with Daryl. "Are you finished?"

He rose up. "Finished?" he questioned, smiling devilishly at the frustrated look in her eyes. "I haven't even begun." He moved down her body, kissing her breasts one by one as she moaned softly, thrilled over not only his answer but the way in which he delivered it, carrying out his promise and then some.

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They both lay on their side with Anna's back pressed against his chest. She reached back, grasping his neck, her body arched, pushing into him as he did the same. His arms tightly wrapped around her, helping the cause.

She didn't know where he was getting his strength to keep up the incredible pace that he'd bestowed upon her over the last half hour, but at that second she didn't care as long as it held out for just few more seconds.

And then it hit her all at once. "Oh God!" she called out, gripping him tighter as he increased his stride, knowing what he was doing to her and enjoying every second of it as he felt his own body reacting just as ferociously, as Anna matched his movements.

They were both blindsided by the ending result that left them sedated as they both lay there in the same position, breathless and speechless after the reckless and torrid encounter.

Her grip on his neck relaxed along with her body as she lay still against his sweaty chest, moving her hand up into his equally sweaty hair, stroking him, silently thanking him for that.

He did the same by kissing her shoulder, moving to her neck, getting another taste of her that had begun what he considered mind-blowing sex. Still shocked that it came from her. A half an hour earlier they were standing at the door screaming at each other and now here they were lying as close as you could possibly get to another human being and content over it.

She couldn't imagine what was going through his mind at the moment, afraid to ask, fearful it would be regret now that it was over. She on the other hand felt her heart flutter wishing she could reel it in but it was impossible, what he'd just given her wasn't like anything she'd ever experienced before. It wasn't just the sex that put her over the top it was the intimacy. If he was playing a part just to get her where he wanted her, then he should win an Academy Award she thought. Just as her heart began to fear the worse she felt his hand move down her body and his voice whisper to her.

"Anna, Anna, Anna," he teased. "You're just as feisty in bed as you are in life. It's a lethal combination." He smiled, pulling her in even closer against his body.

She felt her heart sore as he wrapped a leg around her, holding her in place as if preventing her from escaping, realizing then he wanted her close. The intimacy seemed to have no end and there was no cause to doubt it either. She glanced over her shoulder at him and smiled as he kissed her cheek. She didn't reply with words but just let her body relax against him, closing her eyes.

The haunted images he had of this room never crossed his mind as they both drifted off to sleep.

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Anna slowly opened her eyes, feeling his warm breath on her shoulder as he lay in the same position. A smile slowly began to spread across her face when it suddenly vanished at the sounds coming from downstairs.

"Anna, we're home," Eric yelled.

"Anna!" Jenny yelled. "We had so much fun."

Steve sat upon on his elbow and wiped his fingers over his eyes as Anna whipped the covers off, falling on the floor on purpose. She gathered up their clothes and stood up, dropping them on the bed as he scooted over to the other side and stood up, slipping his underwear on.  
"Holy shit," he whispered loudly to her, reaching over for his pants. "What time is it?"

"I don't know," she whispered back in a panic. "Hurry! They're coming up the stairs."

"Hi guys!" she yelled back to Jenny and Eric, motioning Steve toward the bathroom. "I'm glad you had fun. Hold on. I'll be down in a second, ok?"

Steve grabbed what he could and went for the bathroom as Anna followed behind him with his shirt and shoes. She tossed them on the floor and realized then she was still naked. He grabbed the robe off the back of the door and wrapped it around her shoulders as she stuck her arms through it, seconds before Jenny entered.

"Anna," Jenny said opening up her door and coming inside. "We slept in a tent in Gracie's room!" She jumped up and down, "Danny made popcorn in this funny pan." She started to laugh over the memory of it. "It got really big and round like it was going to explode."

Steve hid behind the door, trying as quietly as possible to get dressed.

Anna stuck her head out the bathroom door. "That sounds so cool. I want to hear all about it but I was just about to take a quick shower. Is Danny still downstairs?"

"No," she shook her head. "He heard you and left."

"Ok, I'll be right out. Close my door please."

"Ok." She went out and closed the door behind her.

Anna did the same with the bathroom door, leaning against it with her eyes closed, letting out a breath of relief. She opened them to the sight of Steve zipping up his jeans, shirt still unbuttoned and grinning at her as if they had just got away free and clear.  
"That was close," he chuckled.

"Really," she raised her eyebrows, "and do you plan on staying in here the rest of the day, because we aren't out of this mess just yet."

His cocky smile faded, not having thought that far ahead. "Oh crap."

He went to the window and looked down at the height.

"You're not going to jump out that window?" she gasped over his idea.

"Not this one," he declared, going by her back out to the bedroom. "This one is easier to get out of."

"Steve!" she whispered to him. "Are you crazy, that has to be about twenty five feet?!"

He chuckled at her exaggeration. "No its not, it's about maybe fifteen feet. I've jumped from a lot higher."

She grabbed his arm, still not convinced it was the right thing to do. It worried her. "Just wait a second, will you please?"

"Are you going to walk me down the stairs and out the front door?" he asked with a teasing grin, unsnapping the screen and setting it on the floor.

She groaned over their dilemma, "No, but…just be careful."

He started to go out and then stopped. "Wait." He put an arm around her waist and pulled her up against him. "Thanks for last night," he winked, "I had a swell time." He gave her a quick kiss before resuming his duty of going out the window.

She giggled at his choice of words, "You're crazy." She watched him make his way out and then stuck her head out as he hung there ready to drop. "Hey," she said looking down at him. "I had a swell time too. Let's do it again real soon."

He liked the sound of that and told her so by doing a pull up on the windowsill and kissing her again before he dropped to the ground.

She couldn't help but giggle at their playfulness as she watched him dash around the side of the house and over the fence going around to his back door so the kids wouldn't see him. She closed the window, forgoing the screen for now and did a 'Jenny leap' as she went back into the bathroom.

He came in through his backdoor, carrying his socks and shoes, setting the hide-a-key on the counter.

"Good morning," Danny blurted out, startling him. "And where are you sneaking in from? The neighbors maybe?"

"Jesus Danny," Steve blasted him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"So how did your night go? Pretty well it seems. How did you get out of the house without being seen?"

Steve dropped his shoes on the floor and went for the fridge. "How do you know I was in the house?"

"Because," Danny laughed, "Anna had that panicked tone of voice. She defiantly didn't want the kids coming up stairs. It took all of about three seconds for me to figure out why."

Steve laughed before he took a long drink of water from an old milk jug in the fridge.

"A little dehydrated there, buddy?"

He wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, not replying to that.

"So how did you get out?" Danny asked again.

Steve put the jug back in the fridge. "The window." He looked over at him and they both busted up.

"That's classic," Danny laughed, clapping his hands together as if applauding him. "So I take it then it was a date and not just, "he used his fingers as quotation marks, "a friendly get together?"

Steve leaned against the counter contemplating that. "No, not really. To tell you the truth I'm still not sure. It was weird."

"Weird?"

"It started out really nice, and then it kind of turned sour during dinner and then really bad on the drive home and then once I got her to her door, we were literally yelling at each other," he shrugged, his expression perplexed, "the next thing I know we were in bed. It was weird."

Danny nodded his head as if understanding, "LA, Hollywood. She likes drama." He pushed off the counter, "Careful of that."

Steve shook his head, "She's not a drama queen," he defended her, recalling the waitress incident. "I think she's just guarded is all."

Danny huffed, slapping him on the arm as he went by him toward the door. "You two have a lot in common then."

"Hey," Steve said, "let me ask you something. This may sound a little narcissistic but…" he made an uncomfortable face.

Danny stood with his hand on the doorknob, waiting. "What?"

"Do you think I flirt with waitresses?" he rubbed the back of his neck, feeling even more uncomfortable just asking, but wanted Danny's opinion since they did eat out a lot together.

Danny laughed, "No. I don't think you do it consciously, but they sure do. I've noticed that when you and I go out together, I get better service."

He put a hand on his chest. "So you agree? I'm just being nice and not purposely flirtatious?"

Danny stared at him for a second and then just shook his head. He walked out the door, closing it behind him, ignoring Steve's plea for recognition.

He stood in the room alone, wishing he hadn't said anything at all. Thinking back now, maybe he had been flirtatious with her. Over the last couple of months he'd felt a shift in his ego and self-confidence when it came to the opposite sex. A set of emotions that had never bothered him before, but it was amazing what one person could do to another in a split second decision that could cause havoc in so many others lives. He felt that aftermath with Becky and it had manifested into his relationship with Anna now.

He did recall feeling pretty good at one point with beautiful Anna sitting across from him and the waitress making a funny comment that made him laugh, wondering now if the comment wasn't appropriate after all and if he shouldn't have given her the acknowledgment of it. But at that moment he felt a jolt to his ego that had been lacking, but now thinking back, he had to consider the feelings of Anna and how that might have sounded to her. He tried to put the shoe on the other foot and decided that maybe he'd gone too far in his pleasure over the attention he was getting from two women.

The one meant nothing to him, while a smile slowly emerged on his face, focusing solely on the other one that had him on the run at the moment. The night before ended nothing like he had expected, yet it turned out to be everything he was hoping for, but didn't know it until just now as he stood there thinking about Anna Jordan. She could infuriate him at the drop of hat, but she could also ignite his want for her in ways that he never wanted anyone else before.

His smile grew wider, knowing what it was now about her that drove him mad both in their friendship and in bed. She challenged him. He never knew what to expect from her and the mystery of that was thrilling to him. He liked that her mood could be unpredictable and that she called him on things that made her mad, laughing to himself over that, picturing her anger the night before. She didn't pout like most women he'd been with, making him guess and play those games that he hated so much. No not her, when Anna Jordan was mad at him, he was going to know it.

He pictured her stomping across the yard toward her house, feeling his heart rate begin to accelerate at the memory of how it all started. One thing he knew for sure, whether she was sitting across from him, lying beneath him or yelling at the top of her lungs at him, she was sexy as hell.

He walked over to the window and looked at the house across the way. He didn't feel the anxiety over knowing she was so close to home like he thought he would, or the fact that he would be pretty much attainable at all hours of the day or night; there was no buffer zone. The only negative feeling that struck him at the moment was that he missed her already. That surprised the hell out him.

Anna bent over, wrapping a towel around her wet hair and then stood up, seeing her reflection in the mirror. She leaned in a little closer, tilting her head, noticing a slight red mark on her neck just below her ear. A smile erupted on her face as she blushed over the memory of Steve indulging himself in that spot several times the night before while they made love. She had her first hickey.

She laughed out loud rubbing her two fingers over it. "He is an animal," she chuckled using Danny's namesake for him. She glanced over at the bed that was still in disarray picturing the two of them in it the night before. She blushed again recalling the pleasurable things they did to each other, the different positions they skillfully attempted and pulled off with even greater satisfaction. She'd never made love like that before, ever.

She looked at her reflection once again, staring at her image in the mirror. She felt different on the inside, wondering if it was visible from the outside as well. He'd opened a door to a place inside of her where no man had ever been before. She had no idea where this relationship was going to go from here, but she did know for certain that she wanted one with him, hoping that it was mutual.

Her eyes that sparkled over the thought of him suddenly narrowed, wondering if she were setting herself up for another heartbreak. She wanted this but did he? What if he was home right now trying to figure out a way to let her down easy, or worse yet, maybe he'd just pretend like it never happened. It was she after all that invited him in she thought nervously, regretting now that bold move that was so unlike her, fearing it was going to backfire on her now in the worse way.

That pleasant feeling inside of her began to turn. The only choice she had was to trust him. She had to trust the man she invited in the night before as being the same one that she knew, and not one that would just use her. She would know for sure the next time she saw him, wondering when that would be.


	8. Chapter 8

Eric shoved the rest of his slice of pepperoni in his mouth, chewing for a couple of seconds before taking a drink of his pop.

Anna shook her head at him. "I can't believe you ate all of that. It was huge!"

Jenny took a bite of her oversize hot dog and groaned, setting it back down on the plate. "I'm full Anna. I don't want no more." She pushed the plate over towards Eric. "Do you want the rest of my hot dog?"

He shrugged nonchalantly and pulled the plate over, picking up the half eaten dog and taking a bite.  
"Food will never go to waste as long as you're around," Anna chuckled.

They sat at a table outside Costco having lunch before going in and doing some shopping for school that was starting again soon. She had decided to get out of the house rather than sit there all day wondering if Steve would show up or if he would hide all day in his house. Her thoughts over their encounter the night before and what would become of their friendship or so called relationship was wreaking havoc in her head, letting it get the better of her. She'd never been so torn between feeling happy and worried in her whole life. Not to mention how or when they would explain this to the kids if things did work out, or worse yet, how she would explain her distance from him if things didn't. Eric and Jenny were one of the main reasons they came together in the first place. She played the trust card again, using it to calm herself, but it was literally going to be longest time of her life until she saw him again. She would know then; he wouldn't be able to hide it.

She glanced over Jenny's shoulder across the table just then noticing the pretty view of the Hawaiian mountains in the background, wishing she knew the name of them. She needed to learn more about where she lived now and decided to make an effort to get the kids out more. She had yet to see the famous North Shore.

"Eric," she asked, pointing over Jenny's shoulder. "Do you know the name of that mountain range?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. I don't think it's a part of the Ko'olau Mountains. I think its something different."

"Yes it is a part of the Ko'olau range," a man sitting behind Anna voiced up. "But it's a very large mountain range so to assume it's not one in the same is a common mistake," he said, not wanting to insult Eric for not knowing.

Anna and he both turned to see him. The man smiled but his focus was on Anna. He had on a white baseball cap with the University of Hawaii logo. His hair was long and stringy, the ends touching his shoulders. His smile, although badly in need of a dentist, seemed sincere and she associated him as a native of the islands, judging by his tanned skin and knowledge. He couldn't have been more than thirty years old but his weathered appearance made him look much older.

"Thank you for that piece of information," she smiled back. "They're really beautiful."

"They have some great hiking trails."

"Really?" she replied, taking into consideration her earlier point of getting the kids out to see the island. "Maybe we'll check that out." She was always amazed at the generosity of the Hawaiian people and their openness to strangers, really beginning to enjoy her new home.

"I could show you," he volunteered, "but I must disagree with your view of the island, because I don't believe anything here is a beautiful as you Miss Jordan."

And there it was, Anna sighed. He was being nice because he thought she was Alyssa. Not the first time and certainly not the last. "I'm not Alyssa Jordan," she replied.

"Your secret is safe with me, Alyssa," he leaned over a little too close for comfort and whispered to her. "Even without the makeup and dark hair I could pick you out in a second. I've seen your last movie, '_Revenge,'_ twenty two times. It would be my pleasure to escort you around our beautiful island." He went to reach up and touch her hair when she leaned back away.

"Thank you, but that won't be necessary. I told you I'm not Alyssa Jordan."

Anna turned back away from him and began to gather up their empty plates. "Let's go."

"No need to get hostile with me Alyssa," he said dryly.

"She's not Alyssa Jordan," Eric said in the same tone, sensing Anna's uneasiness in the situation. He'd encountered this type of situation while being out with her before. Most times people just stared at her while some asked for an autograph, but at least they were nice about it, even when she turned them down.

"Eric," she halted him, not wanting to engage the conversation any further with the man. "Jenny, hand me my purse." She said standing up.

"I'm just trying to be nice," he said, gripping onto her elbow, the smile fading from his face.

"So am I," Anna replied, "I'm not Alyssa Jordan." She looked down at his grip. "Let go of me."

"You look at me and think you're too good for me, don't you?" he snapped.

"Let her go!" Eric growled angrily.

"Anna," Jenny said on the verge of tears, knowing something bad was happening but not quite sure what.

Anna jerked her arm away from him. "You've made a mistake. I told you I'm not her." She'd had hostile situations before in LA when people had mistaken her for Alyssa, and then became angry over her denying it, but no one had ever grabbed her before. At the moment she wasn't thinking of herself but of Eric and Jenny. She put her arm around Eric's shoulder and turned him away from the man, "Come on Jenny," she said nervously, moving them away from the seating area and out toward the parking lot, neither one of them complaining about leaving before they had a chance to go inside and go shopping.

Her heart was pounding as she dug through her purse for the keys, releasing the alarm on the car.

"Alyssa!" she heard behind her, looking over her shoulder as the man approached them.

"Get in the car!" she said to the two of them. "Right now."

"What does he want?" Jenny asked nervously.

"Eric, take her. Get in the car!"

She turned around and went toward the man, keeping a distance between he and Jenny and Eric. She glanced over her shoulder seeing Eric close the front passenger door. She tapped the alarm, locking the doors. She stopped a couple feet from him and put her hand up. "What do you want?"

"I was just trying to be nice. I didn't mean no harm."

"Look," Anna sighed loudly. "I'm not who you think I am, ok. And even if I was, what gives you the right to grab me and to scare my kids like that?"

He looked over her shoulder to the car, seeing Eric watching them intently from the front seat. "That boy was rude."

Anna shook her head, walking back away from him. "He's a nice boy. You should learn from him."

"Why do you have to be like that?" he spat. "I'm a fan of yours. I deserve some respect! I'll never see another one of your movies ever again!"

"Ok, fine by me." Anna said, hurrying back to the car. She undid the alarm and glanced through the windows as she came around the driver's side, pleased that he wasn't following her. She quickly got in and locked the doors again.

"What did he say?" Eric asked, looking back over at him as he stood in the parking lot staring at the car.

"Nothing," Anna said, starting the engine and quickly backing up. She put it in gear and looked in the rearview mirror as the man gave her the finger as they drove off. She felt safe now and almost laughed over his gesture. "Freak," she mumbled.

"What did he want Anna?" Jenny asked next.

She looked at the child in her rear view mirror, smiling at her. "Nothing Jenny. He was just confused is all."

"We didn't go shopping," Jenny said. "We need milk and cream cheese."

She glanced over at Eric as he stared at her. She could see the concern in his eyes over what had just happened. She reached over, putting a hand on his leg. "Are you ok?"

He nodded, "I should have punched him for grabbing you like that."

"No, you shouldn't have," she said sternly, but was flattered that he had stuck up for her like that. "But thank you for standing up for me."

"He was a jerk. If Steve was there I bet he would have punched him."

Jenny sat up in her seat in the back. "Steve would have put him in jail!" she announced wholeheartedly.

Anna laughed at the two of them as she pulled into a Supermarket parking lot down the street, relived it was over.

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Steve sat up on his couch after hearing their car pull up. He stood by the window and watched as Anna got out. He first admired the long tanned legs as she swung them out the driver's seat, wearing a pair of cut off jeans. His eyes roamed up to her face as she glanced over in his direction. He knew she couldn't see him but he could feel the impact of it from where he stood. She was looking for him; the same as he'd being doing all day for her.

"Shit," he moaned with a grin, watching her intently as she opened the back hatch of the SUV. "Why does she have to look so good all the time?" He wasn't feeling the anxiety over the night before like she was. He was only feeling good. He had all day and now that she was back he felt even better.

He came out the front door and across the lawn, seeing the carload of groceries and knowing this was a good opportunity to break the ice and confront the night before. He'd been curious all morning wondering how they were gong to work it around the kids, if they should tell them or when they should tell them. He felt Anna was on board with what had happened between them and as far as he was concerned, he wanted more; more of her, inside and out.  
"Need some help," he said coming up behind her as she reached in for another handful.

She turned around and smiled brightly at him, not expecting to see him but pleased she was. "Hi."

They both took in the moment, seeing each other for the first time. She tried desperately to read him and see if she could see something in him that reflected more than just sex from the night before. Now that she was standing in front of him she realized what she was looking for…a connection.

She smiled shyly at his devilish grin as he brushed her body with his, reaching inside the car and scooping up two bags in his arms. Just that slightest bit of contact set her heart racing. She watched him walk in the house as she leaned against the back of the car. It felt like the temperature had just skyrocketed as her palms began to sweat, recalling that lingering scent of him that still hovered around her. It wasn't cologne but just him. She felt that connection, but did he?

She heard her name as he came out of the house with both Eric and Jenny on his heels as they repeated the story of the man at Costco that had confronted her. His eyes were focused on her as he listened, his expression turning to concern as came around the back of the car.

"What happened?"

"What? You mean at the store?"

"Yes."

She shook her head as if it were nothing, "He just thought I was Alyssa is all."

"She said she wasn't and then he got mad," Eric said.

Steve looked back at her. "What did he say? Have you ever seen him before?"

"No, and he was just…I don't know. He was getting a little weird so we left."

"And then he grabbed her," Eric said angrily.

"What?!" Steve's face turned furious over that. "He put his hands on you? Did he hurt you? Where did he grab you?!"

She held her arm up. "He grabbed my arm, but its ok."

He put his hand on the spot she said and then with his other he gently cupped the back of her neck, his expression showing all the anger and fear over it. "Did he hurt you, Anna? Are you ok?"

She could see the genuine worry all over him. "I'm fine," she smiled wanting to ease him, but pleased over his reaction.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she put a hand on his arm, "I'm sure."

He calmed some, stepping closer to her, well aware of the kids but wanted more than anything to pull her in against him, feeling that need to protect. "You should have called me. If something like that happens again. You should call me right away, ok?"

She nodded, "It all happened in less than five minutes."

"It doesn't matter," he said, "if I can't be there in five minutes, I can have a squad car there in five minutes."

She heard what he was saying and nodded her understanding but it was the way he was looking at her that she appreciated the most. His concern for her safety was the connection that she'd been looking for. It was undeniable. She wanted to fall into his arms and feel the security wrapped around her, knowing it would be safe.

Jenny came and stood next to them, looking up at Steve. "Would you have put him in jail?"

He put a hand on her head, "You bet." He glanced back up at Anna and smiled. "I would have kicked his butt."

"I told you!" Eric blurted out.

Anna moved over and put an arm around Eric's shoulder. "You should have seen this guy," Anna gloated, "he jumped into action and told the guy to let go of me. He scared me a little he was so fierce."

Steve held his fist up to him. "Way to go Buddy. Do you want to join the Police Academy now or after college?"

Eric bumped his fist, his ego flying off the charts over their praises. "It was no big deal."

Steve put a hand on his shoulder, "Yes it was," he said with all honesty. "You did the right thing."

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Anna stood at the kitchen sink, glancing over at the clock on the stove. '_Ten more minutes,_' she thought eagerly. She'd agreed to meet Steve after the kids went to bed at nine, which was in ten minutes.

He'd hung around earlier hearing about their night at Danny's house as Anna occupied herself with laundry and just about anything to keep her mind out of the gutter, because that's where it was every time she stepped inside the same room as he. The quick glances between them spoke volumes of what the other was thinking.

By the time dinner rolled around her mind was occupied on what she could possibly feed him, not wanting him necessarily to leave, but knowing her cooking might just send him off running into the night.

She stood at the refrigerator with the freezer open when she felt his presence behind her.

"Have you experienced JJ's pizza yet?" he asked her.

She glanced over her shoulder, recognizing that same sexy tone of voice from the night before. "No," she replied, surprised that she had to catch her breath, "is it like Rainbow Drive-In? A Honolulu must?"

Her hair was up in a ponytail, exposing that spot on her neck that he found quite tempting at the moment to partake, but held back. "Yes, but the best part is it's locally owned, off the strip."

She closed the freezer and turned around, facing him. The distance between them was closer than they normally would speak but not close enough to give anything away if one of the kids should walk in. Still, it had her mind elsewhere than on food at the moment, wishing either he would kiss her or she could kiss him, longing for that unbelievable sensation she got from it the night before. "Pizza…" she stammered, moving her eyes from his lips to his penetrating gaze on her, "pizza sounds good."

His hand instinctly went up to touch her and as if he just realized the attempt that felt natural he caught himself once again, reeling himself back in, but couldn't verbally hold back. "I want to kiss you so bad," he whispered to her.

She felt her head begin to swirl over that sweet and highly unexpected confession. "They go to bed at nine," she whispered back.

The devilish smile returned to his lips. "You and me at 9:05 then?"

She was trying desperately to breathe at a normal pace but was finding it difficult to even stand as her knees trembled over the idea of him in her bed once again. She reached up putting her hand on his throat and slowly slid it down his chest, never once taking her eyes off of his. "9:01," she corrected him.

The reaction she got was exactly what she had hoped. He let out a breath as if he'd been holding it, his chest rising as he took in another deep one. "Anna," he whispered as he let it out, his voice throaty. "Do you know what you're doing to me?" Her teasing had put him over the edge and just as he leaned in to taste her lips that were just too enticing, Jenny walked in.

"I'm hungry," she announced, not noticing anything out of the ordinary. "Can I have a bagel?"

Anna smiled at his painful expression as she came around him. "How about pizza," she replied happily.

Jenny did a small leap over that idea. "Yes! I want pizza!"

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Anna came down the stairs just after nine, turning the upper hall lights off and stood there for a minute, listening to the silence, hoping and praying it would remain intact. She backed away from the stairs with a pleased grin and turned to the front door, quietly opening it. She stepped across the threshold and before she even had a chance to close it she felt his arm come around her waist and pin her against the doorframe.

She greeted his kiss with equal enthusiasm, wrapping her leg around his and her arms around his neck.

Her mind was torn between the feel of him and the best-laid plan to get him upstairs without being seen or heard.

As if he were reading her mind he broke from her, "What's the plan?" he asked, kissing that place on her neck that had been driving him mad all night, finally able to indulge in the splendor of it.

"Upstairs," she said between moans. "Quietly."

"We need to make it quick," he said searching out her lips, kissing her once, "or we're going to get arrested for indecent exposure on your front porch." He glided his fingers over her cheek, hoping she knew he was dead serious.

She took his hand and backed inside the house, carefully closing the door behind him. He went to kiss her again and she grinned, backing away and holding her finger up to her lips as if telling him to wait and be quiet. While his hand still in hers she walked softly up the stairs.

He followed behind her feeling that same urgency as the night before. She had on a skirt that rode up her thigh just ever so slightly with every step, enticing him even more with those beautiful legs. He wanted to start at her ankle and slowly run his hand up them until he was between them.

She felt a squeeze on her hand and glanced over her shoulder at him. His eyes were focused on her legs until he looked up at her in a way that expressed his desire so blatantly obvious it made her smile over it.

Once through the door to her room she closed it quietly and locked it, turning to him, picking up where they left off on the porch. She felt his hands slide up the outside of her thighs and under her skirt, caressing her over her backside, it was the most sensual thing she had ever experienced and the want for him became desperate as she lifted her leg around him and at the same time he lifted her, wrapping both of her legs around his waist while he walked toward the bed.

Her perfect body straddled tightly around him sent every nerve in his body on alert. She slipped down just enough to rub over his pelvis and he almost stumbled over the feel of it, laying her back on the bed.

They were both ready for it, aching for it, not thinking of anything but how damn good the other person felt, until they landed on the bed.

Steve rose above her and froze over the sound of the wood boards below that creaked ever so slightly, neither one noticing the sound the night before, nor caring, they were alone then.

Anna put her hands on his chest and looked up at him sheepishly, whispering to him, "I think its ok?" she said with a questioning tone.

With his hands still on either side of her head he gently shook the bed, simulating the actual event. They both started giggling over the creaking sound that was even more apparent.

She reached up and put a hand over his mouth and did the same to her own as they laughed over their unfortunate situation.

He let out a slow painful moan as he lay down on top of her, sliding an arm under her head, knowing it wasn't going to happen. "Cuddling is always nice too," he lied.

"Cuddling is way overrated when there is someone as gorgeous as you lying in bed with me," Anna whispered back, pushing him off of her.

He had to laugh over that and rolled off of her as she carefully got up, reaching her hand out for him. She motioned with her fingers for him to take it, "Get up," she mouthed.

He took her hand as she pulled him up and then went over to the other side and yanked on the two-inch memory foam mattress that was on top of the bed, pulling it and the covers onto the floor on the side that was hidden from the door.

He came around as she stood on top of it, wrapping both arms around her waist, "I love that I never know what you're going to do next," he whispered.

She didn't reply but kissed him, pleased with herself for taking yet another initiative and even more so that she had pleased him. She let out a soft moan as they began to make their way down to the floor when that newly appointed parental voice in her head spoke up, asking her if this was ok with the kids right next door.

She pulled away from him and looked over at the bedroom door.

He followed her eyes, glancing over his shoulder, wondering if she heard something. "What is it? Did you hear the kids?"

She shook her head and looked up at him, the uneasiness of what she was feeling was all over her face. "Do you think it's all right what we're doing, I mean with them right across the hall?"

He smiled at first, assured it was fine, but then as he really took the question in and the apprehension that showed on Anna, he really began to question their morality over the situation. He'd never been with anyone before that had kids so it was never a factor in his thoughts, until she brought it up. His smile slowly faded as he contemplated the dilemma. "I don't know," he whispered sincerely. "I want to say yes," he grinned guiltily, "but I don't know."

She sat down on the bed as he took the spot next to her. Neither said a word, nor did they touch, afraid it would set them off again and the idea they were now agonizing over would be null in void.

She turned to him, "Please don't think I brought it up because I don't want too. I mean, I hope you don't think I'm playing games, or teasing you in any way."

"I don't think that Anna," he confessed wholeheartedly, "it never even crossed my mind. I know you're just trying to do the right thing by them."

She wrapped her hands around his arm and laid her head on his shoulder. "I think the fact of the kids even coming up gives us our answer whether we should or not."

"Damn," Steve playfully moaned, "I was thinking the same thing, but was hoping you weren't."

She chuckled over that, looking up at him sweetly, yet highly disappointed. "Do you want to go down and watch TV?"

"Might as well, because there's no way anything is going to happen up here. That ship had sailed, at least for me," he sighed and then kissed her on the forehead, letting her know it was all good. He stood up, holding his hand out to her, "Can we watch a dirty movie?" he joked.

She smiled, glad he was on board with her, amazed over his willingness to see beyond his own wants and needs. "I think Jenny has Tarzan," she replied with a raised eyebrow, "Jane wears skimpy clothes."

He gently pounded on his chest, speaking in a deep voice. "Me Tarzan, you Jane?"

Anna put an arm around his neck, "Tarzan will you please help me put the mattress back on the bed since we won't be swinging from any vines tonight?"

He gave her a quick kiss. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm glad you put a stop to it."

"Thank you for understanding. Most men wouldn't."

"Sure they would."

She shook her head, reaching up and hugging him, "No, they wouldn't."

He caught on as if she were speaking from experience. The men that she knew back home must be complete pricks, he thought.

Steve sat down on the couch and laid his arm across the back of it.

"Is that space for me?" she smiled.

He patted the vacant area next to him. "Just don't try any funny stuff," he warned. "I'm not that kind of guy."

She moved in next to him as his arm went around her. She reached over on the seat next to her and picked up the remote, handing it to him. "For you, for being such a nice guy."

"Aww shucks," he said, kissing her cheek. "That's not an even trade off from upstairs, but pretty damn close."

She settled in next to him as he flipped through the channels, feeling content. He shifted, laying down as she did the same scooting back against him with her head resting on his bicep.

* * *

He stood on the edge of the grass looking in the front window. He didn't know who that man was that was in there, but he did know that he didn't belong. Alyssa was destined to be his. The incident at Costco was just an unfortunate situation, but when he drove by the Foodland grocery store and saw her car there just a few minutes later, he knew it was fate that was bringing them together. Of all the places in the world Alyssa Jordan could be living between her movie break, she came to his island. She came to his neighborhood and she took the seat right behind him. He knew without a doubt the Akua's were working in his favor.

He had watched her walk up and down the isles of the grocery store, careful not to be seen, completely oblivious of the children, amazed at her natural beauty and the incredible sensation and good fortune he felt from seeing her in the flesh. He was thrilled that even though she was a movie star that she acted like just a normal person buying milk and bread; it made his desire for her seem so much more attainable. She was just like everyone else even though physically she was like no one else in the whole world, he thought.

The man in her house was all wrong for her. He could tell by the way he hung around outside her door like a begging dog, groping her when she came out. It was a disgusting sight, which infuriated him, having to stop himself from running over and tearing them apart. He would never do something so vile. He would be meticulous in his ways to get to know her better. He would bide his time until he understood her needs and wants and then he would make his move, convinced she would only see the good intentions that he wished for her. How could she deny someone who would love her in the way she deserved, and who would protect her from harm and from wolves like the man in there now.

He backed away walking to his car down the street, his heart aching for her, trying not to picture her with the man that was in there. Convinced more than ever that he was just a manipulative con that wanted nothing more than to just take what he wanted from her. Alyssa was sweet and innocent and would never see his evil intent, he needed to protect her from that. He had no choice, and in the end she would thank him, perhaps even with a kiss.

He felt his heart soar over the idea of that, picturing the two of them walking down those red carpet events hand in hand, and in love.


	9. Chapter 9

Anna pulled in the driveway after dropping the kids off at their new school for their first day. She'd delayed the inevitable wanting them to get some more time before they had to jump back into reality. They seemed ok with going, even Jenny was up early and had her outfit picked out the night before.

As she pulled in and put the car in park, she couldn't believe she actually missed them. It would be five hours of uninterrupted peace and quiet before Jenny got home first, yet she felt a little lonely too.

Steve came out and stood next to his truck ready to leave for work when he noticed Anna sitting in hers. He knew today was the day the kids went back to school, presuming she would be happy, but from what he was seeing across the way she didn't look it.

She slowly got out when she saw him coming toward her. He was dressed for work in a pair of off-white pants and a dark blue T-shirt. His badge and gun securely strapped on his right side. His stroll showed confidence that never seemed to falter; he was always in control. She admired that but wondered what it was in this world that would ever make him slip from that control, if there was anything.

"Ready for some peace and quiet?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess."

"You guess? You've been looking forward to this."

"I know, it's just that I've been with them day and night for almost six months, and now…" she sighed, "I kind of miss them."

That devilish smile crossed his lips, "You didn't miss them last Saturday night when they spent the night at Danny's."

She looked up at him with a shy smile, seeing that teasing grin. "I was pre-occupied."

"I can occupy you again if you need me too," he joked, giving her a wink, "but," he revoked the offer, "right now I have to get to work, but you let me know if you need my services again." He moved a piece of hair that had blown in her face, running his fingers slowly through the warm silk, enjoying it as much as she was. "I bet that loneliness will wear off pretty quick. You've got the whole day to do whatever you want."

She stood looking at him as he spoke, not hearing anything he was saying past the sexy wink and innocent touch that had set off a chain reaction inside of her. She stood up on her toes, putting her arms around him. "Anything I want?" she said out of the blue, biting her bottom lip as she looked boldly into him, "What if I was to say that I want you, right now."

The words were self-explanatory but it was the way she looked at him that told the story. With her body pressed against him and the first hand knowledge of knowing just what made that body react sexually and more so than that, the way it made him feel was getting his heart rate pulsating. "I…" he smiled just slightly getting caught up in the sexy way she tilted her head, as if hanging on his words. "I'm supposed to be at work."

She had him on the run that she knew for sure, enjoying her torment, feeling that confidence that she'd never displayed for another man before, but there was something about this one that made her feel like a vixen.

"Oh," she said, coming off her toes and letting her hands slide from around his neck, but wasn't about to give up that easily as they moved over his chest and stopped when she could feel his heart pounding. "Are you ok?" she rubbed her palms over his shirt, seeing a sweat spot show through. "You're heart is beating so fast," she teased him, thrilled that she was getting a small glimpse of him being out of character. He was faltering and it was all because of her. She couldn't have been more pleased by it.

He knew exactly what she was trying to do to him, and it was working like a charm. She was without a doubt the sexiest woman he'd ever been with and it wasn't even the exterior of the visual goddess stroking his chest at the moment that held his greatest interest, it was the woman on the inside that made him feel like a man more so than anyone he'd ever been with. She accepted him for exactly who he was. That alone turned him on, and at that second every part of his body was on.

He put an arm around her waist and pulled her in against him, slightly bending her back as he leaned into her. "I'm taking you inside and if you thought Saturday was something…" he let it go at that and kissed her.

Her arms went back around his neck because she needed that support to hold herself up from the kiss that spoke the pleasurable threat. There was nothing to stop them this time, no kids, no one to interrupt where they had left off four agonizing days earlier. It couldn't happen quickly enough as far as she was concerned, willing to drop down right there and let him have his way if he so inclined, but he went one better and surprised the hell out of her. The next move was so impressive and unexpected it was she now that was caught off guard.

He bent over and in one swift move scooped her up in his arms.

"Walking is way overrated," he said carrying her toward the house. "And this way I'm assured there won't be any distractions from here to your bed, because that's where I'm taking you."

She smiled over the self-control that had returned and was in full force. Her only regret at the moment was that he wasn't running.

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Anna held tightly around his neck, her long legs that had been wrapped around his waist, slowly slid down his. Her upper body was off the bed and pressed against his sweaty chest as he held her there with one arm, the other braced on the bed. The rapid crusade from seconds earlier came to slow pace as they both succumbed to the intense response of the last half hour of pleasuring the other. The results put Saturday night to shame, already finding that comfort zone with the other.

He slowly lowered her down, letting his full weight rest on top of her as she welcomed it by stroking his back and damp hair, kissing him once again even though they were both out of breath.

He moved from her lips to her neck, tasting the sweet moisture that was like candy to him. He knew right then and there he was in for some good trouble. He'd move mountains to get back to this spot with her as often as possible.

He heard his phone vibrate once again in his pants that lay in a heap on the floor, ignoring it once again. He didn't even care about it, which shocked the hell out of him.

"You're phone has been going off like crazy," she said in a very sedated voice as if she was letting him know but could have cared less herself, enjoying the relaxing moment with him.

"I know," he groaned, moving off of her and reaching over the side of the bed for it. "I'm late, and I'm never late."

Anna moved her hand down his back and past the tan line just below his waist, caressing him. "You've got a nice ass," she said, patting it.

That made him laugh as he lay back on top of her, still ignoring the phone in his hand. He kissed her for the compliment and then slid his hand under and grabbed hers. "This is an ass that should be bronzed and put on display it's so perfect." It was then that he glanced at the phone, seeing two missed calls from Danny and a text, asking where he was.

"Are you in trouble?"

"I'm in big trouble," he smiled, texting him back that he was going to be late and to call him if anything came up. He then tossed the phone back over the side of the bed where his pants lied.

He braced his head in his hand, looking down at her as she lay on her back. "Can I ask you something?"

She massaged his arm that was over her body, admiring the tattoos and strength of his bicep. "You can ask me anything you want. If you flex that arm for me."

He shook his head at her repeated comments of his body, neither used to nor comfortable with compliments, but he did have to admit it was a boost to his ego coming from her. "Back to my question," he said trying to ignore hers. "I'm curious as to why you had this attitude towards me because you knew I was a cop."

She froze, looking up at him. "I don't think that, Steve. I admire what you do, what you did for our country. Please don't think that our first encounter was about you in any way, it wasn't. It was about me and…" she paused and let out a long sigh.

"And what?"

The last place she wanted to discuss her sister and Daryl was in bed with him, but he asked.

"I was seeing someone in LA for about a year. He was a police officer." She huffed over that phrase comparing Daryl as a turkey burger to Steve who was like filet mignon in comparison of their duties. "As it turns out, he was really only trying to get in with my sister. And as it turns out," she sighed heavily again, "once she got wind of that, it was like an aphrodisiac to her. To make a long boring story short, he's now her body guard both day and night."

"Jesus," he blew out a breath, rubbing his hand over her stomach in a comforting way. "What a prick, and as far as your sister…" he let it go there, insulting ones family was a slippery slope, no matter the situation.

"To put it mildly. The affair came out right after my brother died. They'd been sleeping together for a couple of weeks, so in hindsight coming here was the perfect escape."

"That's not why you're still here though?" he said assumingly.

"No. I love those kids. I admit in the beginning and still now sometimes I get so frustrated that I just want to scream, but I think its probably mutual for them too, " she looked up at him; "but I'll never leave them, not for anything or anyone."

He leaned over and kissed her. "I know."

"I mean it," she said sternly.

"Are you telling me or are you warning me?"

"Both."

He rolled over so he was lying on top of her again. "I would never interfere with you and Eric or Jenny. You have to know that?"

She nodded, "I do, but I also had to say that because you have to know that I'm here and I have two kids and no matter what happens between you and I, they have to come first." It frightened her to say that, knowing it was almost the same thing she said to Daryl just before he got on the plane and left her alone.

"It shouldn't be any other way. I'm glad you told me that. I want you to be able to tell me anything. I want to be able to trust you and know that what I see here," he touched her slight smile, "is the same thing that's going on inside. If its not, that's when things go bad."

She felt there was more to what he was saying than just words, maybe from experience. "Have you ever been married?"

"No."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience."

He rolled back off of her on his back, glancing around the room and realizing just then it was the room Becky had been in, not recalling that since the night he stood at the end of the stairs after John's funeral. He felt the betrayal but didn't feel the anger as much as he used to. He looked over at her giving her credit for that. "The guy that used to live here in this house, just before you," he stared back up at the ceiling, knowing he had to tell her; not revealing it would be like lying, but it was in a way humiliating too. "I was seeing someone at the time. She lived with me. I found out that they were sleeping together. She ended up leaving me for him."

She was amazed that they had gone through almost the exact same thing at almost the exact same time. She sat up, leaning over him. "What was her name?" she asked, thinking the woman must be a fool.

"Becky."

"Did you love her?"

He thought about that question. He had. At least he thought he had, but as time went on he had to admit that if he did in actuality love her, then he would have told her. "I don't know. I thought I did but now, I'm not so sure." He wondered the same about she and Daryl. "Did you love him?"

"Yes, at one time I did. But it wasn't true. It wasn't honest and it wasn't returned."

He reached up, running his hand through her hair that was still slightly damp from their lovemaking, seeing the pain in her eyes. He knew what it felt like to give yourself to someone, and then to get trampled on. For her it was worse, she had lost hers to her sister of all people. He had to think about that for a second. It would be as if Becky left him for Danny. He couldn't even imagine that type of betrayal. "So what did your sister have to say about all that?"

She shrugged, "Alyssa has her own set of rules and follows them no matter who gets hurts, she somehow feels privileged. Her only explanation to me was that she felt she and Daryl were meant to be together and she went as far as saying that I should be happy for her, because she was in love now." She huffed, "She takes what she wants, and the thing that gets me the most is that she usually gets what she wants."

"Maybe so," he said, "but don't you feel relieved now that he's gone, knowing what type of person he really was?"

She smiled over that, running her hand over his bicep again. "Absolutely, because look what I get in its place. I feel like I've been rewarded." She squeezed his arm, "Flex for me now."

"No," he said bashfully.

"Please," she begged, as they both looked toward the side of the bed as his cell phone went off.

"Saved by the bell," he grinned rolling away from her and reaching over the side of the bed again. "What's up," he said to Danny. "Yea ok. I'm on my way. Text me the address." Anna watched with amusement as he smiled and shook his head. "Just text me the address, smart ass," he chuckled hanging up, looking back over at her. "Can I use your shower?" he asked, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

She moved up behind him, squeezing both his biceps. "Show me Tarzan," she asked again.

He stood up walking naked to the bathroom. "Settle down Jane."

"I'll get in the shower with you if you show me?"

He didn't hesitate as he continued to walk away from her, lifting both arms and flexing for her from behind.

She playfully squealed with excitement and jumped off the bed, running toward him to the bathroom.

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"I'm so late," Steve laughed nervously, giving her a quick kiss before exiting the house. "I'll see you later?"

"I'm sorry," she said giving him a regretful smile. "I shouldn't have started up with you again like that in the shower. My fault."

He ignored the time and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her up against him. "As if I regret a second of it. Don't you dare apologize for that." He laid a kiss on her telling her once again thank you for making his day.

He kept the hold on her, looking into her beautiful eyes that sparkled. "Next time it's your turn," he said with a wink. He kissed her once more quickly and went out the door, leaving her standing there feeling the after effect. "Have fun today whatever you do," he said over his shoulder.

"Be safe," she yelled out seeing his hand rise in the air as he ran to his truck, acknowledging her request.

She closed the door and leaned against it smiling. '_What a morning,'_ she thought, blushing slightly and giggling out loud over the boldness of her seduction in the shower. She didn't know what it was about that man but being with him was like breaking out of a shell that she'd been living in her whole life. She wanted to do things to him and try things that she'd never done with any man before. He was sexy as hell, which was a good reason for her newfound curiosity, but it went beyond that. She felt confident with him. It was as if she had finally broke away from the mold of Alyssa and was becoming an individual person for the first time in her life. Steve didn't know the other twin, which gave her the confidence to appreciate that he wanted her, and only her. There were no hidden motives to fear over Alyssa. It was liberating in ways that were not only going to fulfill their relationship, but he was going to reap the benefits twice fold.

She went up the stairs trying to decide how to spend her free time, wising she had Steve for a partner. But she had kept him long enough, smiling to herself once again.

She had all day to do whatever she wanted, but couldn't think of a single thing that satisfied her. She had wanted to get her hair done but wasn't in the mood. She had grocery shopping and laundry to do, but thought it unfair considering this was her first real free day in months. She stood in front of the mirror, combing out her damp hair and noticed her tan fading away. She had been living in Hawaii for almost six months and couldn't remember the last time she had laid out in the sun.

"That is just crazy," she laughed, deciding that's what she was going to do.

She went in the bedroom, filtering through her bathing suit drawer, finding one that would cover the least amount of skin and would give her the best overall tan. She went to her phone next, texting Steve asking if she could use his backyard to lie out in the sun?

His reply made her blush.

'_picturing you on my beach in a bikini is making me sweat_.'

She replied, "_bikini, what bikini? I need an over all tan_.' She smiled as she sent it.

His reply was almost instant. '_ur trying to kill me aren't you?_'

She laughed as she replied. '_Never! Ok then I'll wear a turtle neck, picture that_.'

"_Doesn't matter, u still make me sweat._' He ended their conversation by telling her where the hide a key was and to make herself at home if she needed to go inside.

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Anna laid down the towel in the sand, facing the mid morning sun and then sat down, slipping on a pair of dark sunglasses and then layback, closing her eyes and enjoying the solitude.

Her thoughts instantly drifted to Steve, smiling brightly at the image of him as he walked naked away from her into the bathroom, and then the sight of him in the shower as he washed his hair while the shampoo ran down his body. It was that moment that compelled her to step outside the box that she'd been hiding inside most of her life. She allowed nature, guided gracefully by that man, to lead her into a better place. What she did to him was every man's fantasy but never once did she ever believe she could be on the end of that fantasy and fulfill it with such success. She laughed out loud over his enthusiasm as he used a few choice cuss words at the end that he later apologized for, but quickly confessed that he couldn't help it. What she was doing to him was merciless, he'd barely had the strength to stand.

Unbeknownst to him that was one of the best compliments she'd ever received, considering it was her first time.

She felt empowered for the first time in her life. Angry with herself for not allowing this part of her to flourish the way it was now. She smiled again thinking of him, knowing he was a big part of it. She had no idea where this relationship was going but so far she was sure it was headed in the right direction. They both seemed happy with it.

* * *

He jiggled the window to the laundry room up and down until the lock loosened and then slid it open, knowing she wasn't home. He had spent several minutes watching her in that guy's backyard, taking in the beautiful sight of Alyssa Jordan lying so casually on a Hawaiian Beach. If he had risked getting a picture he was sure he could have sold it for millions, '_billions!_' he thought confidently. But that would be like a betrayal and he wanted nothing to do with jeopardizing their future relationship.

He glanced at his watch and as he stood in the laundry room. He had to be back at work in less than half an hour, but couldn't pass up this opportunity to see inside the life of Alyssa. He knew those kids were gone at school and the house was empty. He'd come to the conclusion that they must be a niece and nephew that she was caring for, knowing for a fact that she didn't have children of her own. Or perhaps she had adopted them, knowing that her generosity and loving nature could make that a genuine possibility, especially if she had kept it out of the media. If that were the case, he decided, he would love them too; even the undisciplined boy. He just needed a strong man around to teach him manners.

He made his way upstairs, feeling his heart accelerate over the anticipation of being this close to her everyday life. He was sure she must have been on a break from filming having scanned the Internet thoroughly, but finding nothing on her being in Hawaii, assured that she was trying to keep a low profile. That would take into account the modest house.

He stopped in the middle of the hallway, seeing the master bedroom at the end of the hall. He felt his mouth go dry as he walked toward it, feeling surreal knowing this is where she slept. He stood in the doorway staring at the bed that was unmade. The sheets in disarray, chuckling to himself that she was a restless sleeper, not knowing the bedding chaos was from she and Steve's most recent liaison.

He ran his hand over the pillow, caressing the spot where she had laid her head, picking it up and placing it over his face, breathing in her scent.

He quickly pulled it away from his face, staring at the odd smell that resembled cologne; a man's smell. He threw it angrily back on the bed, realizing then the messed up bedding was because that man had been in there. He growled over the thought of it, angry with her at first and then knew it couldn't be her fault. He was manipulating her; he was sure of it. It convinced him all the more that he needed to protect her. He needed to be a part of her life.

He turned away from the bed and focused on the dresser, opening up the top drawer and admiring her undergarments, pulling out a black lace thong. He ran his fingers over the material, picturing her wearing it, and only it. He let out a deep sigh and stuck them in his jeans pocket, closing the drawer again.

The perfume on the counter in the bathroom smelled just like she did that first day he met her at the store, recalling the pounding of his heart when he realized it was she that had actually taken a seat behind him. "Fate," he whispered, spraying a light mist of the perfume on the panties that he had put in his pocket.

He came back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

He scanned the inside of the refrigerator wanting a glimpse of what she ate, hoping it wasn't too healthy, he was a junk food addict and proud of it, but would change for her if he had too. He was pleased that it wasn't filled over the top with fruits and vegetables. It was a good variety. '_He could live with that,'_ he decided.

There was a half eaten turkey sandwich that was wrapped up in cellophane sitting on the shelf, knowing it must have been hers. He took it out and unwrapped it as if it were a piece of treasure rather than what it actually was, staring at it, knowing her lips had touched it. He devoured it in two bites, closing his eyes and picturing her making it for him sometime in the near future as they both stood in the kitchen, as a couple.

He stood just outside the laundry room door, knowing he had to leave. He'd stayed too long as it was, but now he had a way in. He could come back anytime. As he climbed out he felt a sharp pain, knowing his deception of sneaking in and out of her life was wrong. She deserves better than this, he thought. She deserves to hear the truth. He needed to tell her how he felt and convince her of the life they owed each other, it was their destiny after all, how could she argue with that. How could anyone.


	10. Chapter 10

"How you feeling," Steve asked Anna as they stood slightly hunched over in the plane ten thousand feet above the earth. She was in front of him wearing a vest that was attached to his jumpsuit.

"Ok," she said nervously over her shoulder, but her heart was racing out of control. "I'm really, really scared. Is that normal?"

"Yes," he laughed, "and there is no shame whatsoever in backing out at the last second either," he reminded her for the third time.

"Oh no," she said assuring him, "you got me this far, we're going."

"Ok then, because we're just about over the jump spot." He reached over and slid open the door, feeling Anna stiffen and her legs tremble as the wind hit them as well as the reality of what they were about to do. "Are we still going?" he yelled.

"Three, two, one?" she yelled back, feeling her adrenaline kicking into high gear.

"Alright," he looked over at the pilot as he gave them the thumbs up, letting Steve know they were good to go. "Here we go. Remember just roll out and let me do the work."

She nodded, putting her hands across her chest like they had practiced, hearing the countdown in her ear like they had also practiced knowing they were going on 'one'. She felt him lean forward and the next thing she knew they were falling out of the plane, doing a flip. "Oh my God!" she screamed out, gripping the straps on the vest even tighter, forcing herself to keep her eyes open so as not to miss a second of it.

She was looking at the sky and then seconds later the ocean and then the coastline of the North Shore. They leveled out before she even had a chance to panic over the fall. She was relieved to know that he was true to his word and did all the work; also relieved that he knew exactly what he was doing. The wind was deafening as it whipped her face, understating the need for goggles now, but the sight below her was unbelievable as they hurdled toward the ground.

'_I'm skydiving!_' The thought screamed out in her head. '_Oh my God! I'm really skydiving_!'

She felt a tug on her hands as Steve pried her fingers off the straps and held onto them as he spread their arms out, giving her the full thrill of what it was like to fall at one hundred and twenty miles per hour. She gripped his fingers tightly at first and then relaxed, knowing she was safe.

He felt her body calm, which thrilled him, knowing she was really enjoying it. He pulled their arms back in and she grabbed the straps like they had practiced, knowing he was going to pull the cord. Seconds later she screamed out at the sudden jolt as they went straight up like a rocket as the parachute opened.

The loud, rushing sound of the wind from falling was now silent. She looked up and saw the bright red and blue chute above their head and Steve's hands as he gripped the ropes, pulling on one and then the other, leveling them out.

"Having fun?" he asked, in a calm voice as if they were sitting on the porch and not gliding through the sky five thousand feet in the air.

"This is the most amazing, crazy fun thing I have ever done." She looked out over the horizon toward the ocean and then back inland at the mountains that they soared above. "It's so beautiful!"

"Do you want to drive?"

She looked over her shoulder at him and then up. "I better not. I'll get us in a spin or something."

"No you won't," he assured her. "Take the handles. I'll show you how."

She reached up and put her hands over top of his as he carefully slipped his out and then put them back over top of hers. "If you pull just a little on this one we'll turn," showing her, "and the same on this one. If you pull on both of them it will keep us straight and level. Which is what we want."

"Ok."

He slowly took his hands off as she held them. "You're doing great, just keep it steady."

She looked back out toward the view seeing the ground fast approaching, saddened that it was already almost over. "I want to do this again some time."

Those words were like heaven to him. "See, I told you you wouldn't throw up."

She laughed, looking down at the ground, seeing Jenny and Eric waving up at her as they stood with one of Steve's jumping buddies.

"Let me take over," he said putting his hands back over top of hers as they neared the ground.

The landing was just as he had explained and she almost stumbled but he quickly caught her as the chute landed behind them and pulled them slightly backward, but he held steady as two men ran over and folded it up so they wouldn't be dragged by the wind.

He undid the straps that held them together as Jenny and Eric both cheered from an area a couple hundred feet away. He took off his helmet as she did the same.

"What did you think?" he asked as she slid it off and her long blond locks fell out, cascading over her shoulders. She turned to him and without even giving it a thought as to where they were or who was watching, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

He pulled her in, reciprocating it with pleasure.

They broke apart not letting it last longer than normal and smiled at each other, still intimately close.

Eric and Jenny looked at each other with mirrored expressions that showed shock from the kiss.

"Are they boyfriend and girlfriend?" Jenny asked her older brother.

"I don't know," he said, bewildered over this new discovery. He wasn't sure at that moment how he felt about this new change.

Anna looked over at them as they stood there staring at she and Steve. "I wonder what they're thinking?"

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The car ride home was silent. Eric sat in the backseat staring at the back of Steve's head while Jenny sat quietly looking out the window, unaffected by the kiss or the confession that they were in fact seeing each other as 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'; the term that both Steve and Anna found humorous to be used to describe their relationship at their age, but it made sense to them that that's how the kids would describe it.

Eric on the other hand didn't find any of this humorous but did feel threatened by their newly discovered relationship. Steve was his friend not Anna's. He felt a bond forming with him that eased that fear and loneliness he'd felt since losing his father, not knowing or understanding how desperately he needed it until a threat of losing it became an issue. Sharing Steve's attention with Jenny was one thing, but sharing him with Anna was something completely different. There was another shift approaching in his life that he neither wanted nor would give in to. He liked the way things were, another change would only disrupt the peacefulness he had created in an already turbulent world. He'd finally found a place that he could feel almost like himself again, even though school was playing havoc with that he had home to look forward too everyday, and now that sanctuary was being threatened as well. '_They didn't even like each other_,' he thought bitterly, '_and now they were boyfriend and girlfriend'_. The jealousy and fear of losing what he had built up in his mind grew, turning to anger.

Steve glanced in the rearview mirror at Eric's scowl. They made eye contact for just a second before he turned away, looking out the window.

"Hey Eric," he said.

"What?"

"What do you think of Anna jumping out of that plane?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, it's was ok."

"I thought it was fun!" Jenny blurted out. "Did you have fun, Anna?"

She shifted in her seat, looking back at the two of them. "Yes, I had a blast. I could see you waving at me."

"I can take you when you're older, Eric," Steve said to him. "Around sixteen would be a good age."

He looked back up at his reflection in the mirror. "How do you know you'll even know me then?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

He shrugged again. "I don't know. People move, people get in fights. People die."

"Eric!" Anna scolded him. "Don't say that!"

"Its true! People die all the time!" he yelled. "Maybe it'll be you!" he said to Anna.

"That's mean, Eric!" Jenny said, looking at him angrily.

Steve pulled the truck over and turned in his seat. "Hey! Knock it off!" he scolded him. "I know you're pissed off right but don't talk to Anna that way!"

Eric let out a sarcastic laugh. "I knew it! You're already sticking up for her. She's not my Mom and you're not my Dad so don't tell me what to do!"

"Eric!" Anna said, shocked over the things that were coming out of his mouth. "Nothing is going to change."

"It already has!" he blasted, crossing his arms stubbornly and turning toward the window, ignoring the both of them.

"Eric," Anna began when Steve put a hand on her arm, telling her to let him be. He looked over at Jenny who had begun to cry over the unexpected and angry outburst from her brother. The words coming out of his mouth were horrible. Even the thought of something happening to Anna frightened her beyond words, even Steve now had become a placement in her life, he had taken on the role of father to her even if he didn't know it.

"Jenny," he said with a smile, "its ok honey, don't cry. He didn't mean it." He glanced over at the boy who refused to look at him. It didn't matter, Steve could see the anger but also the shame in his eyes over making his little sister cry, and hopefully for the harsh words to he and Anna.

He turned back around in his seat, wondering then if what he and Anna were doing was right, maybe it was too soon to have told them. She had confessed to him in the beginning that no matter what, the kids came first, he had to respect that, but seeing first hand how Eric was handling it, he couldn't help but think that maybe he had set himself up in a doomed relationship. He felt her hand on his arm as he glanced over at her. As if she could read his mind she mouthed the words to him. "It'll be fine. Don't worry."

She could see all over him the tension of the situation. She felt it herself. It was breaking her heart the things that Eric said, knowing full well Steve took the words just as seriously as she did. The last thing she wanted was hurt to anyone, but she knew if it came down to it, she had to do what was best for Eric, even if it meant slowing things down with Steve. She sat back in her seat as he began to pull back out onto the road, feeling her heart break over that decision as well.

The interior light came on as Eric opened up his door and jumped out. He took off across the road that was deserted at the moment, running into the field across the way. They were several miles outside of Honolulu on Highway 99 that cut across the center of the island. The only thing for miles in either direction at that particular spot was pineapple fields and mountains.

Steve slammed on the breaks, undoing his seatbelt at the same time. "Stay with Jenny," he said to Anna, looking back down the road as a car came speeding by, he held tight until it passed watching Eric across the way as he got a good lead on him.

He took off after him, closing the ground quickly but surprised at how fast he actually was for a ten year old.

"Eric stop!" he yelled out.

"Leave me alone!" he screamed out at him, almost tripping and falling but at the last second he felt his body come off the ground as Steve grabbed the back of his shirt, preventing the fall.

He whipped his body around with his arms swinging, connecting with Steve's chest and then clipping his chin.

The blow didn't faze him but the fact that it was coming from Eric did. He tried to grab him as another blow came swinging by. There was no rhyme or reason to the hitting he was just out of control with anger, growling with every thrust.

"Eric, stop!" Steve said trying to get a hold of him without actually hurting him.

"I hate you!" he yelled, barely missing his face once again.

"Goddamnit!" He'd had enough and grabbed the front of his shirt in a fist and twisted him around pulling him up against his body and then wrapped his other arm around Eric's body, holding him in place. "Knock it off!"

"Let me go! Let me go!"

"No! You can fight all night. I'm not letting go so you might as well just give up!"

He gave one last effort trying to break his arms free but knew it was pointless, he had too good of a hold on him.

Steve held firm, feeling the anger and frustration coming from the kid who was usually docile and civil. It worried him more than it angered him. "Are you done?" he asked him calmly.

He didn't answer but pulled himself away as the tight hold relaxed, standing with his back to him, head hung low.

"What's going on in your head, Eric?"

He crossed his arms stubbornly. "Nothing!"

"It can't all be about me and Anna."

"Why not?" he said between gritted teeth.

"Because we haven't done anything wrong."

"I thought you and me were friends? Now you'll just want to be with her! Go ahead, I don't care!"

"Nothings going to change. "

"Yes it will! Everything changes all the time. I don't want any more changes! I don't want to go to that dumb school either. They don't know anything and say stuff that isn't true! Its stupid there! Stupid!" he said as his voice broke. "I don't want things to change. I want everything to stay the same like it is now." Tears began to drip from his eyes. "I'm scared things will change again."

Steve ran his hands over his face, hearing the fear and pain coming from him. He looked back over to the car and knew it wasn't something he could push off onto Anna, no matter how unsure he was of his place in the situation, he was in this now and it wasn't her that had got him there, he had volunteered it when he climbed up that tree. It was that moment that he took on this role of being not only his friend but also his mentor through this terrible ordeal that they both had in common. He knew it then and he knew it now, plain as day.

Steve moved around in front of him. "I'm not going anywhere Eric. You yelled at me back in the car that I'm not your Dad. No, I'm not. I'd never try and replace your father. But how dare you try and take away this friendship without even asking me."

He looked up at him over the tone of his voice that went from passive to almost mirroring the same anger, but it was the words that surprised him the most.

"You and I were friends long before Anna and I. I know you're mad and that's ok too, but running off doesn't help the problem. Nothing has ever been solved by running away."

He looked over in the direction he was running too and saw just a wide-open area, realizing now how dumb it was. He had no idea where he was going; all he knew was that he felt threatened by yet another change in his life and the thought of losing the only friend he had at the moment angered and scared him.

"Tell me what's going on at school?" Steve asked.

He felt the tears fast approaching again as he tried desperately to hold them back. "I hate it there." He wiped his hand across his eyes and couldn't control the built up despair he felt inside from it. All at once he burst into sobs and did the unexpected that left Steve caught off guard once again.

Eric leaned into him with his head coming just below his ribcage; his arms went around him, hugging him tightly. He clung to him as tears poured from his eyes leaving wet stains already on his shirt.

He stared down at the display clinging to him. He instinctly looked around him for help, not sure what he should do, never having a crying child attached to him in this way before. He was good verbally, but when it came to physical comforting he felt out of place.

His thoughts instantly went to Danny, knowing he was a father and a good one. He pictured him in this situation and what he would do. It took all of about one second for the answer to hit him. He put his hand on Eric's head and instantly felt the hold tighten around his waist. This is what he needs, Steve thought, putting his other hand on his back and pulling him closer, returning the hug.

He had to admit to himself that it felt awkward in the beginning, but the uneasiness quickly dissipated as something inside of him shifted. He never thought of himself as the nurturing kind, but he would have stood there all night if he had too if this innocent gesture brought Eric some kind of relief.

"It's ok, Buddy," he consoled him. "Tell me what's going on."

"Its just that…" he whimpered, gulping in air. "Jenny is a girl. She has Anna." He started to cry again. "I miss my Dad."

Steve held him just a little tighter, feeling his emotions starting to get the better of him. "You know you can talk to me about anything, Eric. I'm not your Dad but I can listen, and I'll help you out anyway I can." He leaned back, looking down at him. "I mean that Eric. I think you're a great kid whose just going through a shitty time right now in his life, but it won't feel like this forever. I promise you that."

Eric looked up at him, "Did you feel like this when you're mom died?"

"Yes," he said honestly. "I was angry, sad and then angry again. Sometimes I would get in the ocean and just swim out as far as I could and scream at the top of my lungs and then swim back. Sometimes it helped but most times I would just swim back and the problem was still there." He bent over looking him directly in the eye. "I don't want you to feel that way. Anna's smart and she loves you very much. You can talk to her too you know."

He looked over in the direction of the car wiping his face with his hands and sniffing. He looked back over at him as fresh tears welled in his eyes. "I didn't mean it when I said she might die."

Steve stood up and put his arm around him again, pulling him up against the side of his body as they started walking back toward the truck. "I know Buddy. So does she."

"I'm sorry I ran off."

"It's ok, just don't do it anymore, like I said, it doesn't help."

He nodded looking up at him, "Do you really like her?"

"Who? Anna?" Steve asked.

He nodded again.

"Yes. She's ok," he grinned down at him, "for a girl." He was pleased to get a smile in return.

Steve opened up the back door of the truck as Eric climbed in. He looked over at Anna sheepishly feeling embarrassed now from his outburst. She smiled letting him know she wasn't mad and turned back around in her seat, relieved that once again Steve was able to talk him down. Jenny on the other hand wasn't so forgiving.

"That was mean what you said to Anna. You should get a time out forever!" She crossed her arms angrily, glaring at him.

"I didn't mean it," he said quietly.

Jenny just huffed. "It was mean."

Steve got in and glanced over at Anna as she reached out and touched his arm, not having to verbally thank him, he got the message loud and clear.

* * *

The rest of the ride back from the North Shore was silent. They pulled in just as the sun set. Jenny got out first and stomped across the yard, still angry with her brother. Anna handed Eric the keys to the house.

"Here, I'll be over in a minute."

"Ok." He looked over at Steve before heading home. "The skydiving was pretty cool. I think I'll try it when I'm older."

"I'll be around," he grinned, assuring him of their earlier discussion, "you let me know."

He grinned back at him, running off toward the house as Jenny began to get impatient for the door to be opened.

Anna leaned against the side of the truck as Steve faced her. They looked at each other with the same disheartening expression. She shook her head still in disbelief over Eric's words. "I had no idea he would respond that way." She also didn't realize how upsetting this was until she was face to face with it as he stood before her. "I shouldn't have kissed you like that in front of he and Jenny," she said regrettably.

"I don't think it was necessarily you and me. I think he might be having some issues at school."

"What did he say? What kind of issues?"

"He didn't say, but he said he hated it there."

She sighed heavily; feeling guilty, wondering if it was something she should have seen coming. "I'll call tomorrow and make an appointment with his teacher. I just hate that he's going through all this." She looked up at him, feeling a bit of relief. "But I'm glad he has a friend like you."

"He's a good kid."

She moved up against him. "You're a good man. Probably the best man I've ever known."

He combed his hand through her hair, giving her one of his stellar smiles. "I was inspired from the woman that moved in next door."

The one thing she loved about him, amongst many things, was that he was always true to his words. She never once felt like he was giving her a line. He was honest that way. She'd never had that from a man before. '_Be careful_,' she thought, '_you don't have the luxury to fall in love right now_.'

"Anna," he said uneasily, "I don't know what you're thinking, but maybe you and I should…" he started and then stopped not wanting to say it.

She laid her forehead on his chest, knowing what he was going to say. "No."

She felt his hands on her face as he lifted it up so he could see her.

"I'm not walking away. I hope you don't either. I just don't think we should force this on him." He wanted to assure her he was still onboard. The last couple of weeks with her had opened up that place inside of him that he thought he had under control, but as nature would have it, she was in control, but they needed to look beyond their own relationship at the moment and focus on the one they had with Eric.

Anna nodded, understanding his reasoning and knew he was right. They needed to figure out what the problem was and then go from there. What had started out as a fun day with all four of them had ended with she and Steve potentially being separated, something neither of them wanted. "He has been kind of quiet over the last week. Hopefully the teacher will be able to fill me in on the details if it's a problem at school." She looked over toward the house, not wanting to leave him just yet, wishing he could come with her, wondering if there would ever be a time that he could stay with her all night, even with the kids home, not sure where her needs started and the kids' ended. "I should go, Jenny's going to need a shower before bed."

"I'll see you tomorrow after the kids go to school," he said, giving her a kiss. "Regardless of what happened tonight, I had a good time today. You did great."

She smiled and her eyes got bright being reminded of the skydiving. "It was the most fun I've had in…" she paused trying to think of a better time, "ever!" She stood up on her toes and kissed him quickly before she began to back up toward home. "Thank you for taking me, Steve. Next time it's my turn to treat you to an adventure."

He smiled, seeing little Jenny in that beautiful expression. "Oh yea, and what would that be?"

"Something so much scarier," she grinned walking backward. "I'm taking Jenny to the mall this weekend for school clothes, she asked if you could go with us." She laughed out loud over the expression on his face, pointing at him. "I jumped out of a plane at ten thousand feet with you."

He laughed with her, "At least with mine I knew I'd come out alive."

She blew him a kiss and turned, running toward the house. "Don't be afraid. I'll take care of you."

As she ran off he couldn't help but wonder if his idea of taking their relationship back into the shadows was good for either of them. The past couple of weeks being with her in this new relationship they had struck up was exciting and more than anything else fulfilling, both sexually and as time went on he felt the emotional attraction to her even more.

Once the kids started taking the bus in the morning and before he would leave for work, she would come over to his house, forgoing a knock and would come straight up to his room as he lay there impatiently waiting. She would slip out of her clothes and sometimes just her robe and crawl in with him. In the beginning the sex was just that, sex, it was all about pleasing her and vice versa as if it were a challenge to not necessarily out do the other, but to make sure they were left wanting more, assuring their place in the relationship. But as time went on the intimacy took over, he didn't want to leave her anymore with the want for more sex but the want for him, and while he was away he wanted to make sure the emotional fill was satisfied too, not wanting to make that same mistake as he had with Becky. He tried to give her all the things that Becky had asked for but he had found so difficult to respond too, but with Anna they flowed out naturally and willingly; it wasn't work, it was enjoyable.

He watched as she got to her front door and turned to him, waving, and then blew him a kiss before going inside. It was sweet and innocent and he could feel the impact of it from where he stood, a smile spreading across his face.

He stood staring at the place she had been standing, picturing her inside now with the kids, wondering what their nightly routine was?

Before he knew it he was imagining himself in there with them. It was a domestic vision that he'd never dreamed would invade his head, but here it was. He pictured himself doing homework with Eric at his desk in his room while Anna gave Jenny a bath. He could see her folding clothes or finishing the dishes as he sat on the side of Jenny's bed reading her a book like his father had done for Mary, or like he'd seen Danny do for Gracie. At the end of the night he saw himself walking down that hallway to Anna's room and seeing her in bed, a vacant spot next to her, knowing it was his.

He glanced over at his house as the fantasy came to an end, leaving him feeling as empty as his house was. For the first time that he could remember, he was dreading going home. Something even more disturbing hit him then, something that he thought he had put to rest, but it wouldn't go away.

'_You're thirty four years old, and you have no one_.'

It was a staggering thought that was even more crippling than the fear of leaving loved ones behind like what had happened to John. He got a small glimpse inside the life of a family and to his shock he was craving more of it. He understood now why the others married and had kids even at the risk of knowing how dangerous their jobs were. Even Danny had taken the risk.

Out of nowhere a voice in his head spoke up, "_They fell in love."_

It was as if the skies suddenly opened, and he put two and two together, falling back against his truck over the next revelation that scrambled through his thoughts. He shook his head, trying to ward off the idea of it.

"I don't love her," he whispered adamantly, speaking from the logical side that was always in control. "I don't love her," he repeated. "I can't. It's too soon." But the tender side of him began to get the upper hand, because saying it felt like a huge betrayal to not only him but even more so to Anna.

"Holy shit," he stammered, leaning over and bracing his hands on his knees; taking in slow, deep calculated breaths. "Yes you do. Yes you do."

Anna came in the house looking around for Eric but didn't see him. She went straight upstairs to her room. As she passed Jenny's she glanced inside seeing her sitting on her bed in the same angry, arms crossed position as she was in the car. "You need to take a shower pretty quick."

"I'm mad at Eric," she blurted out. "He wasn't very nice to you and Steve."

She went in and sat down on the bed next to her. "He didn't mean it. Sometimes we say things out of anger but we don't really mean it."

"He should say he's sorry."

She put her arm around her, kissing her forehead. "He will. Don't be mad at him. Steve and I aren't. We know he didn't mean it."

"Are you going to get married?" she asked innocently.

Anna let out a laugh, "No, of course not!" She looked at the disappointment on Jenny's face over that. "I mean…I don't know."

"Why not?"

"Because, we just started dating and I don't think he…" she hesitated, "and I have you two to take care of."

"But he can take care of us too. We have fun. We could all live together and have breakfast together and watch TV."

Anna heard the words and even more so saw them in her eyes. She was looking for that stability that she had with her parents. Not understanding the relationship she and Steve had wasn't that easy to just step into the life she wanted. Even though coming from a child's perspective it was just that easy.

"I don't know about Steve and marriage," Anna smiled, trying to change the subject, "but I think I have him talked into going shopping with us."

"Really?" she said happily. "We can buy him an ice cream for going. He'll like that. He likes ice cream too."

"Who wouldn't pass up a trip to the mall for shopping and ice cream," she said. "That would be crazy!" She hugged her, shaking her little body. "We'll make him carry all the shopping bags because we are going to buy a lot!"

That made her happy, forgetting about the marriage conversation. "Can I get some blue shorts?"

"Blue? Sure. Why blue?"

She shrugged, "I don't have any."

"Spoken like a true woman," Anna smiled, kissing her on the forehead as she got up to leave. "You can get two pairs of blue shorts. But right now let's focus on that shower."

"Ok," she replied kicking her shoes off.

Anna smiled over their conversation as she entered her room. '_Marrying Steve_,' she said humorously, chuckling to herself over Jenny's suggestion. She looked over at her bed and pictured the two of them in it at the end of the day, the two of them together as a family. She stood in the middle of the room contemplating the idea for the first time, wondering what it would be like to be married to him. She caught herself smiling over the thought of it, feeling it too. She quickly cut herself off, shaking her head. '_Stop! You're getting ahead of yourself. Besides, there is no way he feels that way about you. It's too soon. You'll scare him off._' But she couldn't deny hoping for it, knowing she was there herself, teetering on the edge, ready to let go and fall into that endless bliss. All she needed was a push from him.

She stopped at her dresser, mindlessly putting the bras and panties back inside that were in disarray, her head elsewhere at the moment. She closed the top drawer and then suddenly thought it was odd that it was even open.

"Jenny," she yelled out to her.

She came down the hallway. "Can I take a shower in your shower tonight?"

"Sure," she smiled at her, pointing at the drawer. "Did you get in here?" The second she asked she realized how silly that was, Jenny's height was only maybe up to the third drawer of the five drawer chest.

"What?" the child asked innocently.

"Nothing," Anna replied opening it back up again and shuffling through the undergarment items that seemed even more out of place. She closed it again, not giving it another thought, knowing Eric had been over at Steve's house before they left earlier in the day so it wouldn't have been him. She contributed it to her forgetfulness and maybe the nerves before the big skydiving jump.

Eric plopped down the couch and turned the TV on. He had about another twenty minutes before he had to start homework and go to bed.

He glanced up toward the stairs and recalled the angry outburst from Jenny as they came in the house. She scolded him repeatedly telling him how bad he was for saying Anna might die. He knew the words scared her more than anything else and was feeling the effect of the guilt from it now. He knew he owed Anna an apology and maybe Jenny too.

He flipped the TV off, deciding to just get it done and over with, otherwise he knew it would bother him all night.

He came up the stairs at a slow pace, trying to think of what he might say. Telling Anna she might die when he was angry was one thing, but as the anger cleared he realized the harshness of those words. The guilt was crawling all over him.

As he neared the top he thought he heard a man's voice, wondering if it was the radio, but as he hit the last step he could see clearly where the voice was coming from.

Anna stepped back away from him, holding her hand out to Jenny, motioning for her to stay put as she stood in the bathroom doorway. The child was just as clearly shaken and scared of the man as she was.

"Alyssa," he said gently, "please don't be afraid. I can see you're surprised to see me here, but you had to know that I've been watching. That I've been here before?"

Anna's body felt numb from the fear that was coursing through her, glancing over at Jenny, trying to speak clear and calm. "Close the door Jenny and lock it."

"What does he want," her voice mirrored the same fear that Anna had.

"Close the door!" Anna said sharply. She faced the man as he moved toward her. "What do you want?" Knowing that trying to convince him that she wasn't Alyssa was going to be impossible.

"It's fate that we met and it's fate that we argued but it was our destiny then I found you again." His eyes sparkled over his explanation. "It was like we were drawn to each other."

She saw Eric then standing on the last step, recalling the man's harsh words about him in the parking lot of Costco, afraid of what he might do to him. She could see the surprise and then the fear in his eyes over the situation. She looked back at the man, "What's your name?"

"Peter," he smiled, taking a step closer to her. "My name is Peter."

It was then that she saw the knife tucked into the waist of his pants. Her heart sank and she glanced back at Eric, "Go get Steve, Eric!" she yelled out.

The man turned seeing him on the steps, "You!" he pointed at him. "Come here!"

Eric felt the fear over take him, taking a step back and almost stumbled, reaching out and grabbing the handrail and then turned and ran down the steps, missing the last one and falling into the wall. He heard the man running down the hallway and went for the front door, swinging it open and running out across the lawn toward Steve's house.

Anna ran for the bathroom door, shaking the locked handle, "Let me in Jenny! Let me in!"

She could hear the child crying and fumbling with the lock but it was too late, he came back in the room with a look of furry in his eyes and the knife in his hand.

"Get away from the door Jenny!" Anna screamed. "Stay inside!" She backed away, running into the wall. "Don't come out, no matter what! Stay inside!"

"Damn you!" Peter yelled. "Why did you do that?" he gripped the knife and scanned the room trying desperately to calculate his next move. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. He was sure she would be flattered. But he didn't get to say all the things he had planned. She just didn't understand, he thought, they needed to be alone so he could tell her all the things he needed to. "Come with me, Alyssa," he said motioning to her with his hand.

Anna stood against the far wall shaking her head, unable to get words out.

When she didn't move he ran to her, knowing his time was limited, that boy whom he considered a rebellious brat was going to get that man he'd seen Alyssa with. That began to infuriate him even more.

Anna screamed, holding her hands out in front of her fearing he was going to stab her. Instead he grabbed her around the neck as she stared at the knife that was at her waist.

"Why do you have to be like this? I told you not to be afraid!"

"Steve is a police officer," she shuddered, "he's coming." She hoped that would scare him off but it only made him angrier. He grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling her head back, placing the knife at her throat. "We're leaving Alyssa," he said, yanking her away from the wall and walking her toward the door. "I have some things to say to you and we can't talk here anymore. You ruined that!" he shook her.

She gasped feeling the sharp blade on her neck. Her vision blurred as the tears filled her eyes. He held her tightly by the hair as they went out the bedroom door and down the hallway.

She stared at the front door as they came down the steps, praying Steve would get there before he had a chance to get her outside.

Eric slammed into his front door, pounding with one hand and turning the handle with the other. As it opened he tripped over the doorstep in his panic, screaming out for him as he scrambled to his feet.

They ran into each other as Steve came around the corner from the kitchen. He took a hold of his Eric's shoulders, seeing the frantic expression on him. "What's wrong?! What happened?!" he asked as the panic over something happening to Anna or Jenny began to engulf him.

"He's there," Eric said between breaths as he began to hyperventilate.

"Who?"

"The…man," he stammered, "the man…from Costco…in Anna's room."

Steve ran past him toward his gun that was in the closet by the door, pulling it out of the holster. "Stay here! Where's Jenny?"

"With Anna."

"My phones in the kitchen. Call 911, give them your address and my name," he said going out the door and closing it behind him.

Peter scanned the front yard before going out the opened front door, seeing it was clear as he glanced over at his car across the way. "Let's go."

"No!" Anna squirmed, feeling the hold on her tighten.

"Don't make me go up there and hurt that little girl, Alyssa. All I want is some private time with you and then you'll understand." They came off the porch onto the grass when he heard a voice behind him.

"Let her go!" Steve demanded as he came toward them, his arm stretched out and the gun pointed at them.

Peter turned pulling Anna back against this chest, hiding the knife behind her back. "Go home!" he said. "Alyssa and I want to be alone!" He nudged her with the knife, wanting her to agree with him. When she didn't respond he nudged her again with the point of the knife.

Anna gasped fearfully, feeling the blade go through her shirt. "Steve," her voice small as she begged him to help her.

"You're not leaving," Steve replied calmly, keeping a slight distance. He looked at Anna's terrified expression and felt his anger accelerate over the position she was in, meeting her eyes. "It's ok Anna," he said calming her. "He's not going to hurt you."

"This has nothing to do with you!" Peter yelled putting the knife back up to her throat as Anna closed her eyes and whimpered, her whole body trembling. "Put that gun down, or else."

"Listen to me," Steve said to him, lowering his gun and setting it on the rail next to him.

Peter stared at the gun, feeling he had just gained the upper hand.

"Look at me, and listen very closely," Steve said in a calm passive voice.

Peter made his way back up to his face and felt that upper hand slip. The voice coming from the man across from him didn't match the stare that bore into him, it was void of any feeling but held conviction as he began to speak to him.

"There's two ways this is going to go, neither of them is going to be good for you. You can put that knife down and let her go and go to jail, or," he took a step closer to him, never breaking a sweat or even blinking as he spoke the gospel truth. "If you so much as make a mark on her, I'll kill you. But first I'll hurt you in ways that you won't even have the strength to scream out from the pain."

"I…" Peter stammered feeling the fear now as he not only heard the words but saw the truth behind them in his eyes. "I love her and I just need to explain myself." He pointed the knife at him angrily. "This is between Alyssa and me!"

"Not anymore," Steve replied without missing a beat or wavering in any way. "I love her too and she's scared. I have no feelings for you. I don't care if you live or die tonight, I only care about her, but you will care if you hurt her. You'll beg me to kill you before I'm through with you."

Anna stared at him knowing he always spoke the truth, but never seeing it so clearly as she was right now. She was frightened beyond words over her ordeal having a blade to her throat from a crazed man, but somehow knew she would come out unscathed.

Peter's mind was racing in three different directions. His want for Alyssa and his fear over the words being spoken from the man who had taken on the character of the devil himself, and his plan to escape, which seemed now doomed. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. His hand trembled as he held the knife to her throat.

Steve saw the moment approaching, not only in the confused expression on the man's face but in the red and blue lights flashing behind Anna and her assailant, knowing he'd only have a spilt second to make his move. He already had the plan in his head he just needed that distraction, all he needed was a hesitation.

Peter saw the lights out of the corner of his eye and turned in the direction of the road.

It all happened so quickly Anna barely had time to react. She saw Steve lunge forward and the next thing she knew she was on the ground by the force of his hand, being pushed out of harms way, while the other hand held the wrist of Peter that had been against her throat. She turned and saw the two men on the ground a few feet away as Steve pounded several blows into the man's face until he laid unconscious.

He took the knife from the limp hand and tossed it over toward the house getting it out of the way. He rolled him over on his stomach locking both of his hands together with one of his, but there was no resistance from the unconscious man.

He glanced over at Anna who was on her knees still in a daze over the whole ordeal and more so over the last several seconds, not even noticing the other officers that approached who recognized Steve immediately. He spoke to them briefly, explaining the situation.

He went to her after releasing the man to them, taking her under the arms and pulling her up off the ground as she wrapped them around his neck.

She couldn't speak but only clung to him, knowing it could have turned out so much worse if he hadn't been there.

He held her just as tightly, letting himself feel the fear that he had suppressed to gain control of the situation. "It's ok," he said, speaking not only to her but telling himself as well. He pulled back examining her neck for any wounds. "Did he hurt you?" his voice almost frantic.

It was she now that calmed him, taking his face in her hands as he looked at her. "I'm fine," she whispered with tears filling her eyes. She kissed him and then put her arms around him again. "Thank you," she whimpered. "Thank you."

It dawned on them both then at the same time.

"Jenny!" he blurted out feel that panic begin to rise in him once again.

Anna pulled away from him as she went toward the house. "She's locked in my bathroom."

Steve went by her, tearing up the stairs, taking every other step and running down the hall until he was at the door.

"Jenny," he said, pulling on the locked door, trying not to voice his concern and scare her. "It's Steve honey, open the door."

He could hear the fumbling of the lock and shrieks of fright coming from the other side as she desperately tried to get it open. He was going to give it about three more seconds and then break it down, not being able to tolerate knowing how scared she was. He needed to get to her.

The door finally came open as she stood there crying, holding a small towel in her hands, wading it up over and over as if it might calm the hysteria inside of her. Her little face covered with tears, showing the terror that she felt over the last few grueling minutes.

Steve came down to her height as she came at him, hurdling her body into his. He stood up holding her tightly. "It's ok sweetie," he said stroking her back. "Everything's ok."

She wrapped her arms and legs around him holding on for dear life as if someone might try and pull her away, all the while the sounds of fear and panic coming from her tore at him. "Shhh," he soothed her.

"It's ok Jenny," Anna repeated his words, stroking her hair, "that man is gone now."

They sat down on the bed as she began to calm some.

Eric appeared at the door, escorted by an officer. The sight of the three of them was the most comforting thing he could imagine at the moment, making his way over to them fighting back the tears. Anna scooted over and guided him between she and Steve. He squeezed in between them feeling the security of the two most important adults in his life; the fear sliding off his shoulders.

They both put an arm around him as Jenny still sat on Steve's lap, her head on his chest still clinging tightly to him.

"Who was that man," she asked between sniffs, still gulping for air.

"He wanted to talk to me," Anna explained, "he didn't understand that he wasn't supposed to be here, but Steve and Eric set him straight." She smiled over at him, squeezing Eric a little tighter.

"He won't come back, I promise," Steve said.

"Did you put him in jail?" Jenny asked him.

"Yes, he's going to jail."

"I saw them putting him in a police car," Eric said. "He couldn't walk very good."

Anna chuckled over that, "That's because Steve was true to his word. He beat him up."

Jenny looked up at him. "You beat him up?"

"I thought he was going to hurt Anna. I wasn't going to let that happen."

She smiled, resting her head back against him.

"Hey Steve," the officer at the door said, "They need you downstairs."

"Ok," he went to set Jenny down on the bed when the panic and tears returned.

"No!" she shrieked, clinging to him, "don't leave!"

"Hey, hey," he said soothingly, "I'm not leaving. I'm just going downstairs to talk to the police and then I'll be back, ok?"

Her fists held handfuls of his shirt, "Do you promise?"

"I promise," he squeezed her tighter, giving her a few more seconds until she then released him.

"You wait here with Anna and Eric and I'll be right back." He set her down next to Eric putting a hand on his shoulder. "Stay here with them," he said as if the boy's presence would be equal to his own.

Eric looked up at him as if that demand was the most important task he'd ever been given. "I will."

"You did good tonight, Buddy," he patted his shoulder, "I'm proud of you."

Eric didn't reply but the gratitude showed all over him as he sat up a little straighter, feeling braver than he ever had in his life. He put his arm around Jenny, showing him he'd take care of them while he was away.

Anna watched him walk out of the room and engage in a conversation with the other officer as they went down the hallway. She as well as the other two knew they were safe in the house, but somehow his leaving the room made them all seem a little more vulnerable. He was like their shield that they could stand behind and knew full well he'd stand firm at all costs.

* * *

Steve came back in the room a few minutes later acknowledging Jenny and Eric with a smile. The same officer from before stood just outside the door, looking over a pad of paper.

Steve motioned for Anna to join him out of earshot of the kids.

"They want to get your statement downstairs," he explained. "Just tell them what you remember. Don't say anything you're not sure might have happened, only what you remember did happen. As time goes on you'll recall more and then we can update your statement. The sure way to get a conviction is to be accurate." He reached up, stroking her arm as she listened closely to what he had said. "Are you ok to do this right now?"

She nodded. "Yes. I want to do it now."

He smiled over her confidence, giving her hug. "It doesn't have to be drawn out, just tell them what happened. I'll stay up here with the kids."

She pulled away from him. "You're not coming with me?"

"No. It's better if we have separate statements and our stories match."

Anna leaned in a little closer, "What about the threats you made to him? Should I say that?"

He took her gently by both arms, "Listen to me. You tell them everything you remember about what happened. Don't leave anything out. You understand?" He gave her a firm look as if telling her again not to lie about anything.

She nodded, knowing she should trust him and that he probably wasn't telling her what to say or what not to say incase she was questioned in court later on. "We didn't do anything wrong anyway."

"No, we didn't," he assured her.

She followed the police officer downstairs and met up with another one as she sat down on the couch and they both took seats across from her on the coffee table.

They introduced themselves and very calmly and politely asked her to just simply tell them what happened from the beginning. She explained the encounter at Costco a few weeks earlier and how she now understood the strange occurrences around the house and things that were out of place.

They told her that they had found the laundry room window had been rigged, assuming now that he had come and gone more than once. That sent a chill through her, wondering if he had been there other times while they were home, watching them or watching her.

She told them about coming home and him being in the bedroom and the conversation between them that she could remember, again, they explaining to her the same as Steve that she would recall more as time went on and not to worry about too many details but give them the low down on what happened, especially once he had taken her outside because that would change the conviction to attempted kidnapping, which was a mandatory sentence.

She stood on the front porch with them and replayed in words what she could remember, feeling the fear creep up on her again. "He had the knife to my throat," she explained, "and then we came out here," she pointed to the ground, showing the path. "He was taking me to his car…" she paused and a smile slowly appeared on her. "And then I heard Steve behind us. He said in a very commanding voice for him to let me go."

"Commander McGarrett came from this way," the officer pointed, "from his house?"

"Yes," Anna said, looking over in that direction.

"Did he have a weapon?"

"Yes. He had a gun in his hand, pointed at the man." She looked at one of the officers, "but he didn't need it." She explained as much as she could the discussion between them, but it all seemed foggy at the moment. She was calm but the surrealism of the events that had taken place was still like a dream. "The next thing I knew I was on the ground over here," she pointed, "and Steve was on top of him, hitting him."

They asked a few more questions and then thanked her. Informing her that they would be in contact and if she recalled anything else to let them know.

* * *

Anna came down the steps as Steve stood at the front door with the two remaining officers, shaking their hands and then closing it behind them.

"Are they all gone?" Anna asked.

He turned to her, "Yes."

She came down the rest of the way and straight up to him, wrapping her arms around his body. "You're going to stay aren't you?" she looked up at him uneasily. "Don't go home."

He had no intention of leaving them for the night. Even if she wouldn't have asked him to stay he was pretty sure he would have camped out on their porch anyway. There was no way he would have got a minute of sleep in his house knowing they were here alone. "Of course I'll stay."

He locked up the house before following her back up the steps. They came inside the bedroom and both kids were already sleeping on her bed.

Neither he nor she complained about the crowded space as he turned the light off and they both lay down on opposite sides. He was next to Eric, and she next to Jenny. The bathroom light remained on with the door slightly ajar incase one of the kids woke up, not wanting it to be completely dark and scare them.

They both lay on their sides looking at each other over the kids. The house was quiet and it gave both of them a chance to really reflect on what had happened.

He looked over at her, seeing the torment in her eyes as the moment replayed in her head, knowing it was going to frighten her even more now. "Close your eyes Anna," he said, reaching over the kids and putting his hand on her face. "Don't think about it anymore tonight. You're safe now and nothing can hurt you. Close your eyes and go to sleep."

She put her hand over top of his as he gently stroked her cheek and then let it rest there. She closed her eyes as she was told, surprised at how easy it was to forget. She didn't think about the man that had terrorized her but thought about the one across from her now. She pictured the fierce look in his eyes as he spoke to her attacker. The words earlier had been lost in the chaos of her fear, but now that she was relaxed and safe, he was right, memories of what had actually happened were coming back to her. '_I have no feelings for you_,' she recalled Steve saying to him. '_I don't care if you live or die tonight, but if you even so much as leave a mark on her, I'll kill you.' _

She could remember seeing the conviction not only in his face but also in his voice. Everything Steve said she believed to be the undisputed truth. With that thought still lingering, another memory in the heat of the moment that she had overlooked came flooding back.

She opened her eyes back up looking across at him as he stared at her. She felt her whole body tingle from the impact of it and the declaration of his love for her. His hand on her face suddenly felt warm as it spread over her.

'_He said he loved me_.'

He watched her sleep, hoping it would come quick and without any anguish over their ordeal. Seeing the fear on her earlier was almost more than he could take. He knew without a doubt even as he lay there now, that if the man had harmed her, he would have killed him on the spot. There would have been no arrest, no trial and no jury, just his fury that would have led to the man's demise.

He looked down at Eric and especially Jenny, knowing the truth held strong for both of them as well. He was falling in love with Anna, or already had, and the two kids weren't far behind. He'd tried to talk himself out of it earlier in the night, but as he lay there with them now, he knew what he wanted, it was this very spot. He wanted to be the man in each of their lives.

He looked back up at Anna as she opened her eyes, looking at back at him. He swore he felt his heart leap over the gaze that told him he wasn't alone in this journey. He'd never had anyone look at him like that before, wondering if she had believed his confession of love from earlier, hoping she didn't think it was said in the heat of the moment, and even though it was, he felt true to it even now.

Her hand glided over his arm and then back again, repeating it slowly. The feel of it and the way she looked at him was euphoric.

"I'm remembering more about tonight," she smiled ever so slyly, "I remember words," she whispered to him.

He knew exactly what she was referring too, not elaborating nor denying any of it.

He smiled back and she didn't think she'd ever seen anything sexier in her entire life.

"Go to sleep Anna," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

She closed her eyes, still caressing his arm. "I am safe, aren't I?" she asked, but he took it as a whole knew meaning.

"Yes," he replied, "you are."

Despite the harrowing events, it turned out to be a night she would remember fondly, always.


	11. Chapter 11

Steve sat slightly slumped down in a cushioned leather chair outside a dressing room. If asked, he couldn't have told you what store he was in, but he did know that it was the seventh one they had entered and the fourth that Jenny had actually used the dressing room. The bags of purchased clothes at his feet and on the side of the chair were proof of the so-called 'adventure' that Anna had promised, or had she warned him?

The only thing that was an adventure was finding a place to crash by the dressing room while he waited for Jenny to show off her new outfit and get his opinion, which she held in high regard. He on the other hand felt more out of place here than he did the time his unit was ordered to babysit an orphanage in a village until the Red Cross could arrive. They put him in charge of diaper duty.

So far he had to say that this store was his favorite though. He would bet his life that a man who had to partake in the same harrowing ordeal he was going through now put the soft leather chair there as a token of his sorrow for others like him.

He stretched his legs out, talking to Eric on his cell. "I can't believe you ditched me like that to go to the beach," he grinned, hearing a laugh on the other end.

"Are you having fun?" Eric teased him. "I'm drinking a pop and eating chips. The water is soooo warm today," he tormented him. "Is the mall nice and cool? Have you seen anything pretty?" he laughed.

"You'll pay," Steve laughed. He looked up as Jenny and Anna appeared from around the corner of the women's dressing rooms. "I have to go," he said quietly, but in a grumbling voice. "I have to judge another outfit. Later brat." As he hung up he could hear Eric laughing even harder, telling him to have fun.

"Do you like these?" Jenny asked as she stood before him wearing another pair of blue shorts.

"They look like the other ones you just tried on," he replied.

"No their not," she quickly corrected him. "Those were a different color blue."

"Oh," he glanced up at Anna as she rolled her eyes at the child. "Well, I guess I like those," he caved. "Which ones do you like?"

"I like these." She moved closer to him. "They have a tiny pocket right here." She showed him.

"Pockets are good. I think you should get those just for the secret pocket."

She did one of her signature leaps and looked up at Anna. "I want these!"

"Ok," she smiled. "Go put your clothes back on and bring out the others." They watched her go back inside the room. Anna looked down at Steve and grinned over his expression as he shrugged.

"I have no idea what I'm talking about."

She had to laugh over that. "Are you bored out of your mind?" she asked sheepishly.

"No," he lied, but didn't want she or Jenny to know it.

He was bored, but after the ordeal they had gone through earlier in the week, he wasn't about to let them trot off to the mall alone. He still felt that lingering fear of something happening to them, even though he was pretty sure they were safe. That nagging voice in his head said to tag along, especially since they wanted him there. If something did happen, he'd never forgive himself.

"Well even if you're lying to me, we're glad you're here." She leaned over and kissed him.

That was enough to sustain him for the rest of the day.

"I talked to Eric. He's fine. He's having fun."

"Good," she smiled over that news. "I'm glad he got a chance to see one of his old friends from Maui, even if it is just for the day. I remember this boy's mom as being very nice when I first got here. She brought over a few meals and tried the best she could to help Eric. He was just so angry all the time."

"Did you make that appointment with his teacher yet?" Steve asked, commenting on the day they went skydiving and Eric jumped out of the car.

"No, but," she smiled wider, holding her arms out, "I'm scheduled for my very first ever parent, teacher conference, so I'll know then."

"Wow, parent teacher conferences," he said impressed. "It's official now."

"I've arrived," she chuckled.

They both turned as Jenny came out holding the shorts in one hand and dropped the discarded clothes in a wire basket by the door for the store people to put back on the shelf.

Steve sat up on the end of the chair as she held them up for him to see again.

"I like these. It's my favorite thing so far today," she declared.

"I like them too. Good choice." He reached over gathering up his supply of the other four bags of shirts, shorts, shoes and dresses that she had already purchased. "Where to next," he asked, hoping they said home.

Jenny looked up at Anna as they made their way over to the cashier. "Can we give him his treat now?"

Anna stroked the child's hair, smiling at her. "Yes. I think he's earned it."

"What treat?" he asked intrigued.

"Ice cream!" Jenny replied excitedly, jumping up and down as she reached up taking his wrist that held two of the four bags. "We're going to buy you an ice cream treat for coming with us!" She looked up at him with the same excited expression as if the offer was more like a delicacy.

"Nooo," he said teasingly, "I don't deserve such an awesome reward as that."

"Yes you do," Jenny said adamantly. "Because I want some too," she confessed.

He looked over at Anna and smiled. "I do as I'm told. I guess it's on to ice cream next."

He reached over and picked up the new bag that was sitting on the counter as Anna handed the sales girl her credit card and Jenny admired some lip-gloss that she had already been told no on at another store.

"I'm going to run these out to the truck," Steve said, leaning over to Anna, "and I'll meet you in front of Victoria's Secrets, waiting for my treat."

Anna looked over her shoulder at his sexy grin and wink before he turned and walked toward the exit. She looked up at the twenty something salesgirl, who overheard everything. She too had a grin.

"I better hurry," Anna replied to the salesgirl.

She looked over in Steve's direction as he walked away, admiring the view and then back at Anna, "I'd run if I were you."

She chuckled over that as she signed the receipt. She didn't mind other women admiring him, it meant nothing to her because it meant nothing to him. For the first time in her life, she really did feel safe and secure in a relationship.

* * *

Steve stood out in front of the Victoria's Secret store glancing around the swarm of people walking toward him looking for the two familiar faces.

He noticed a young girl with blond hair but as the man in front of her moved out of the way he saw that it wasn't Jenny like he had thought. But the woman behind them he did recognize as they made eye contact at the same time.

'_Damn,_' he thought, there was no escaping it.

A smile appeared on Becky's face the instant she saw him. She stood before him for the first time since their break up. "I don't know what I'm more surprised by," she said, "running in to you, or running in to you at the mall."

He grinned over that, "Hi Becky, how are you?"

She leaned in and gave him an innocent kiss on the cheek. "I'm doing ok." She stepped back looking him over. "You look good."

He knew it was the thing to say so he repeated it. "So do you." He was surprised he didn't harbor any resentment towards her. It was as if it had just vanished one day, not having even thought about her for a long time.

"No gun and no badge. You can't be on duty. I just always assumed you bought your clothes online considering I've never seen or heard of you entering a mall."

"I was bored so I thought I'd see what all the hype was about."

She laughed over that, seeing that impeccable smile emerge on his face. She was wrong, he didn't look good; he looked great. There was something changed but she couldn't quite put a finger on it. "You look different," she said eyeing him curiously.

He returned the same expression to her, "Different?" He tilted his head just slightly, wondering where she was going with that, still not trusting her words that had cut him so many times before. "What do you mean?"  
She shrugged, "I don't know, just different. How's Danny?"

"He's good, same ole', same ole,'"

He felt a tug on his shirt and looked down seeing Jenny. She held up a Styrofoam bowl filled with ice cream and candy.

"Here, this is yours," she smiled. "I got you chocolate chip…ummm, M&amp;M's…" she paused and tried to hold back the giggles. "And worms!" she laughed.

"Worms!" he said taking the bowl. "I love worms. Excellent choice."

She wrapped her arms around his leg as she laughed harder. "They're not real. They're gummy worms."

He put his hand on her head, "Do they taste as good as the real ones?"

She made a face, "Steve, that's gross."

He looked back up at Becky as she stared at him, completely caught off guard by the display before her. She'd never seen him around children before except for Gracie, yet this little girl obviously had him wrapped around her little finger, it was plain as day as she had herself wrapped around his leg like it was an everyday occurrence.

"Jenny" Steve gripped her head that his hand was on and turned it towards Becky. "This is my friend Becky. Becky, this is Jenny."

"Hi," Becky said, leaning over. "You sure are beautiful."

Jenny moved behind him until just her face was visible around his leg. "Hi," she said less than enthused.

Anna came up behind Becky not noticing the interaction in the crowded mall. "Oh my God Steve," she laughed, putting a hand on his stomach. "I tried to talk her out of the gummy worms but she wouldn't have it. She insisted. Eat around them."

He motioned with his head and the bowl of ice cream to Becky behind her. "Anna, this is Becky."

She turned around facing her. "Hi," she responded surprised, but happy to meet one his friends, not catching on to the name. Her first guess was that she was the wife of a fellow police officer. "It's nice to meet you."

"Becky," Steve continued, "This is Anna."

Becky stared at her for a second before she spoke, feeling like she knew her from someplace but couldn't place her. "Hi…its nice to meet you too." She looked back down at the little girl who clung to him. She knew all the people he did and these two were not a part of his life as of six months ago. The way the child clung to him and the close stance between he and the woman it suddenly dawned on her. '_This is his girlfriend_,' she thought. She looked back up at him seeing now the change that she had noticed.

"I should get going. I'm meeting some people," Becky lied. She was just finding it difficult to stand there and watch the display. This was exactly the life that she had wanted from him. She glanced back at the woman standing next to him, wondering what gift she possessed to make him so happy; something that she herself must have lacked. She was beautiful, but knowing Steve as she did, that was just superficial.

They said their quick goodbyes but as she walked by him she couldn't help but comment on it. "I know what looks different about you," she said quietly, touching his arm. "You look happy." She gently squeezed it and walked away, disappearing into the crowd.

He stood there a little shocked over her revelation that caught him completely off guard. He glanced down at Jenny as she still clung to him, humming a tune with one arm still around his leg as she ate from her bowl of ice cream. He looked up at Anna and knew the happiness that Becky saw in him was credited to the two of them. He hated the mall but at that moment he couldn't think of anyplace in the world he'd rather be.

"She seemed nice," Anna smiled. "How do you know her?"

"That's Becky," he said, lifting an eyebrow, physically elaborating on that response.

Her eyes lit up and she glanced over in the direction she had gone. "Becky, Becky?"

"Yep."

She looked back at him. "Is that the first time you've seen her since you broke up?"

He nodded.

She wasn't sure what to make of it. He seemed unaffected by it but he could also be hiding it well. "She's beautiful."

He put his free arm around her waist. He knew now why he had no feelings for Becky, good or bad. It was because of Anna. "She's pretty, yes," he squeezed her, "but you're beautiful."

"Good come back."

"Its not a line. Have I ever lied to you before?"

She saw the sincerity in eyes as he looked at her. "No," she replied, smiling over the compliment now. "Well maybe once," she teased him.

"When?" he asked stunned, knowing it wasn't true.

"Today, when you said you weren't bored."

He laughed uneasily, knowing he'd been caught. "Ok, but it was just a little white lie so it doesn't count. But for the record, it wasn't boring the whole time, and I'm glad I came."

"We wouldn't want it to be anyone else," Anna whispered to him.

"How lucky am I."

They stood in the middle of the mall with people passing them in both directions and a five year old strapped to his thigh, but it was as if they were in their own little perfect world, and he wouldn't change it for anything.

For the first time as long as he could remember, he really was happy.

* * *

Anna held a shirt up for Jenny, "Do you think Eric would like this?"

She pulled her arm out of the long sleeve of the XX-large shirt that she was occupying herself with and looked up at her. "I don't know."

Anna turned to Steve who was looking over some baseball hats. "What do you think?"

He shrugged, "I like it. I'd wear it."

"Sold," she declared. "I'll just tell him that you picked it out. He'll wear it everyday."

Steve looked over her shoulder, eyeing two twenty something men that were watching her. One leaned over to his buddy and whispered something to him; they both seemed amused over it as they smiled.

Steve's guard went up immediately, moving around behind Anna and Jenny, watching the two men in the mirror across the way. He wasn't going to take another chance with she or Jenny's safety, even if he was being borderline paranoid. It wasn't a risk he was willing to take.

They whispered something else and then began making their way toward them when Steve turned around and faced them. He never said a word. He didn't have to. Both of the young men stopped when they saw in his expression that they weren't invited any closer to the two women. They held their ground for about another three seconds as if deciding whether the autograph and possible picture with the starlit was worth confronting the fierce looking man standing between them. The one on the right decided against it, casually hitting his buddy's arm and motioning to the exit.

Steve breathed a sigh of relief as they both left the store, not wanting to make a scene.

He turned back to the girls as Anna stared at him, catching just the last couple of seconds of what had happened. She thanked him with a tender smile, but her thoughts were focused mainly on his comfort, knowing his guard was up now, assured that it probably was the second they left the house, wondering if he would ever be able to relax while out with her. She was grateful for his motives, but the thought that frightened her most though was whether he would grow tired of it. Tired of being her bodyguard. He hadn't signed up for that.

The happy day she had been having suddenly turned dreary. She had been so ecstatic about being in this relationship and for the first time in her life Alyssa was not a part of it, but as she looked across the way at her reflection in the mirror, she knew she was mistaken, Alyssa was staring back at her. She could almost picture her sister laughing at her, telling her she should be pleased over the identity that she had developed for her. She should be grateful.

Anna turned away feeling the overwhelming urge to throw something at the mirror and shatter the image that she was born into. She looked back over at Steve as he put different hats on Jenny and they laughed together. She didn't want to lose him because of this, she couldn't lose him now, she was in too deep.

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Anna stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, tears stinging her eyes as she turned around leaning against the counter with her hands over her face. "Oh my God, what did you do?!" She shook her head, knowing it was too late to take it back, she'd just have to live with it…for at least a year, maybe longer.

She came down the steps to a quiet house avoiding the glass pictures on the wall, not wanting to catch a glimpse of her reflection, it was just too hideous right now to confront. She sat down on the last step, putting her face in her hands once again. "Oh God," she moaned.

She wondered who would be more shocked by the mess, the kids or Steve. No sooner did she get the thought out did she hear his truck pull up outside. Her body tensed up and her heart dropped to her stomach.

"Great," she mumbled, "of all the days for him to get off early. It has to be today."

She contemplated locking the door and running back up to her room to hide, but she'd been doing that for the last four hours and no matter how much she regretted the decision she'd made, she was going to have to face it head on. She only hoped that Steve would forgive her and the kids wouldn't laugh.

She reached up taking a hold of the handrail and pulled herself up as if she had no energy left. She might as well just get it over with.

Steve got out of his truck and glanced over at Anna's house as he walked the path up to his. Her SUV was parked outside which told him she was home, that pleased him. He went inside and performed his daily routine before going over to see her. He removed his badge from his belt and set it on the table and then undid the belt and slipped his gun off, wrapping them up and setting them in the closet by the front door.

He glanced out the front window noticing a woman approaching up the walkway and then froze, his jaw dropping open, realizing just then it was Anna.

"Holy smokes," he whispered out loud and then blew out a breath.

She swallowed down the dryness in her throat as her stride changed to a slow pace, wanting to prolong the inevitable. She looked back over her shoulder to home, contemplating turning around and running back, but when she focused back on his house, she knew now that it was too late. He stood at his open front door staring at her.

He watched as she stopped in her tracks after seeing him. Her head fell forward as if she couldn't face him. He on the other hand was overwhelmed by the change as he came out walking toward her.

"Hey! Look at me," he said wanting to get a full view of the new person standing before him.

She shook her head at first and then slowly looked up at him needing to see his expression more than anything else, dreading this moment over the past four hours.

"Wow," he said, admiring her.

Gone were the long blond locks and replaced with a much shorter cut that included bangs, but the most dramatic part was the color that was now a very light auburn red.

She looked down at the ground, unable to face him again. "I can't believe I did this," she said regretfully.

He stood before her and reached up, lifting her chin so he could see her. "Why?" he asked surprised. "It looks great!"

She looked back up at him and he smiled even brighter.

"It looks really good on you," he declared wholeheartedly as his eyes roamed over her face. "You look beautiful."

She felt the stress of her actions slowly slide off her shoulders. "Do you really like it, or are you just saying that to be nice?" she bit her bottom lip in anticipation of his reply.

He replied by putting arm around her waist and pulling her up against him. "I really like it." he nodded unable to tear his eyes away from her. "I really, really like it. I didn't think you could ever look any sexier than you did before, but you just topped it."

She reached up and shyly ran a hand over it. "It's so short."

"It's a great style. It's a great style on you."

She smiled for the first time since looking in the mirror four hours earlier. "I wasn't sure about the color at first, but wanted something different."

He ran both hands through it, "It's so soft and that color…" he playfully growled. "I've never been with a red head. It's getting me hot."

She blushed over the attention but couldn't have been happier over his reaction. She thanked him with a kiss, which he continued down her neck as she tilted her head back.

"I've got free access to this perfect neck," he declared, moving around to the other side.

Anna giggled as he bit her earlobe. "That's exactly why I did it," she lied, "so I could get more of that."

He kissed her once more before getting down to the subject of why she really did it. "That's nice of you," he smiled, looking at her in question. "But why the big change?" He was pretty sure he knew the answer but wanted to hear it from her before making an assumption.

She knew it was dramatic but she just felt the need at the time. "I was sitting in the chair and the stylist asked me what I wanted. At first I was just going to do some highlights and a trim, but then she turned the chair around and I saw Alyssa sitting there looking back at me," she sighed. "The words came out as if someone else was speaking them. I told her I wanted it short and red. We talked for a few minutes and this is what we came up with." She ran her hand over it again and looked up at him with sad eyes. "After what happened with that man, I don't want to look like her anymore and I knew if I did something like this, she'd never imitate it. She'll hate it."

He knew that's what it was about. He couldn't deny though that he was glad for it too. That incident still haunted him as well. It worried him that maybe she was having an identity crisis and hoped that the dramatic change with her hair ended here too. "Does it make you feel different?"

"No, I'm still Anna, but I do have to admit," she bent her head shyly, "I have been experiencing some extra curricular thoughts that I believed to be out of my character, but as it turns out. It's exactly who I am and who I want to be. I think it's getting to know you that's helped them along."

"Really?" he said intrigued. "Care to elaborate on any of those thoughts?"

"Oh, you know, just things. Like wanting to go skydiving. Adventurous stuff." She bit her bottom lip, feeling her face flush. "Or what happened in the shower a couple weeks ago that made you late." She kept her head slightly bent, glancing up at him timidly. "Do you remember that?'

"Remember that?!" he practically laughed. "Are you kidding me? I can't take a shower without thinking of that. Hell! I can't look at water without thinking of that," he teased, seeing her cheeks turn red and a smile on her lips before she bent her head again. It was about the sexiest thing he'd ever witnessed; even though he proclaimed that thought to himself on a regular basis lately. A simple glance from across the room could get his heart rate going as if it had been jumped started. One of those moments was presenting it self now. He leaned in whispering to her. "I like those thoughts you have. I like that I'm a part of them."

She looked up meeting his gaze that always seemed to make her feel weak in the knees. "Are you happy with everything else too? I mean, the way things are going…between you and me?" She didn't have to question anymore whether or not she was in love with him, it was as strong as he was standing before her. She knew the answer to her question as well. The words were just trivia compared to the way he looked at her sometimes, like now. He didn't have to say it verbally, she knew it.

He felt intoxicated by her beauty as she waited for his answer. It didn't matter that she changed her hairstyle. She could be bald and wearing a garbage sack and she'd still be the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. He managed a small nod, "I like the way things are going. I like being with you, Anna."

Those words were true, but he felt compelled to profess his true feelings. He heard the words in his head as they moved through him, knowing he had a chance right here, right now to solidify this relationship and take it to the next level. He'd never said it before, always too caught up in the imaginary chaos that he was sure it would cause. But just like the first time he kissed her, he didn't think about the aftermath, he only felt in the moment. He opened his mouth to speak when he heard their names being called from the other girl in his life that could melt his heart.

"Anna! Steve!" Jenny yelled as she ran toward them from down the street after being let off the bus. Her little backpack on her shoulders swinging from side to side as she waved a blue cardboard picture in her hand.

They glanced at each other and smiled as she came running through his gate and up to them.

"Look what I made?!" she said excitedly and then stopped, staring up at Anna's new look with her mouth open. "Your hair looks so different."

She squatted down in front of her, "Do you like it?" she asked sheepishly, glad she hadn't laughed.

Jenny reached up and touched it. "Is that color real?"

"Yes," Anna grinned, "It doesn't wash away."

Jenny looked up at Steve. "Do you like it?"

He came down next to Anna, still reeling over his feelings for her. "I love it. I think she looks beautiful."

Jenny looked at her again, touching the ends. "I like it too. Can I do that to my hair too?"

Anna laughed, "Not until you're older. But thank you for saying you like it." She diverted the attention back to her as she pointed at the picture. "What's the picture?"

Jenny's excitement returned as she held it up. "I made this today in class and my teacher held it up for everyone to see because she liked it so much." She leaned against Steve putting a hand on his shoulder as they admired it.

"Is that me?" he asked of the figure that had a badge on his shirt, holding the hand of another figure that he presumed to be her.

"Yes," Jenny said, "and that's me. Remember when you took the bad man away when I was hiding in the bathroom?"

"Yes. Is that what this is?"

"Uh huh," she replied smiling. "I told my teacher and she liked it. Do you like it?"

He smiled at her as if shocked she would even ask, "Of course I do! I love it. It's a great picture." He looked over at Anna. "Don't you think it looks just like me?"

She nodded, amazed not over the picture but of him and the genuine way in which he was flattered over it. She didn't think she'd ever seen him look so handsome before. "Yes it does."

"You can have it, "Jenny said, "if you want." She waited for his reaction, hoping he'd put it somewhere in his house that she could see it like her card she had made for him that was still sitting on his table by the door.

"Thank you," he squeezed her. "I'll hang it on my fridge." He was just as tickled as she was. He was finally going to get to show off one to Danny.

"Ok!" she said happily, looking over at Anna, "Can I have a bagel?"

"Sure, just half," she said standing back up with Steve. "I'll be over in a minute."

They both watched as she tore across the yard to the house.

Steve held his picture up, admiring it again.

"A work of art," Anna said, admiring his grin over it.

He put an arm around her neck, pulling her up close, "So is this," he declared, kissing her.

She held on to him, "At least you can relax now when we go out together. I won't look like her anymore."

He let go and leaned back, looking at her confused. "Like who, your sister? And what do you mean I can relax?"

"Yes, my sister, and you know what I mean. I didn't want you to feel like you always had to be on guard when we were out together." She shrugged uncomfortably. "Because I look like her."

He shook his head, even more confused, but becoming even more concerned. "You didn't do this change for me I hope?"

She shook her head, "No, of course not," but then caught herself, "well, I don't know, maybe, a little for you too." She looked down, knowing he wasn't pleased about that.

"Anna," he sighed, putting his arm back around her waist. "Listen to me." He gently shook her, wanting her full attention. "Look at me." He waited as she slowly raised her head until they were face to face. "I don't want you to change anything about yourself for me. Do you hear me?!" he squeezed her. "I like you exactly the way you are. And as far as having my guard up when we go out, that's who I am. That will never change no matter who your sister is."

She bit her bottom lip, fighting off the tears, wondering when or if she would ever break from this bond she hated so much with Alyssa. She just seemed to make one mistake after another. "I don't want to lose you," she blurted out. "I guess I just wanted to make things easier for you too."

"You have to stop trying to please everyone and start thinking about what Anna wants." He put his hand on his chest. "Seeing you happy, that's what makes me happy. If you need something from me, tell me, don't change yourself to fit the profile. That's not who I fell in love with."

He made it sound so simple, or maybe he was just the first person in her life that accepted her for exactly who she was. That alone was a blessing, but it was his last sentence that pleased her the most.

She put a hand on his chest. "I feel like we have a good thing going. I am happy. I'm the happiest I've been my whole my life. I love you too and I want you to know that. You should also know that I'm happy because of you."

No one had ever told him that before. It was a constant thought in his head to keep her emotionally satisfied, fearing he might let her down in that capacity. He finally felt he was doing right by her. "Is there anything you need from me, Anna, that you're not getting?" He wanted to be sure he kept that smile on her.

"Yes," she said, moving her hand down his chest and raising her mouth up to him. "A kiss, right now."

He smiled over that. "You are easy to please, Miss Jordan." He gave her what she wanted wishing they had the convenience of disappearing for a couple of hours so he could kiss her all over, but it was an inconvenience he had got used too and accepted, actually the two little inconveniences of this relationship is what he found the most rewarding. He loved all of them.

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Anna heard the front door open as Steve called out to her. She glanced at the clock on the stove that read one fifteen, wondering what he was doing there at this time of day. She didn't care, feeling the happiness over his presence as she came down the hallway from the kitchen that led to the family room, meeting him halfway. "Hi," she smiled happily when she saw the equally pleased grin on him. She squealed gleefully as he surprisingly grabbed her around the waist and moved her up against the wall with his body, holding her there.

"Hi to you too gorgeous." He kissed her once and then moved to her cheek and then down to her neck.

"I'm glad you're here," she giggled, "but why? Or should I say, how?"

He leaned back so he could see here. "Love those parent teacher conferences. Danny has his right now." He glanced at the watch on his wrist that was resting on the wall above her head. "I have about an hour." He pushed himself closer into her, his lips just inches from hers. "Can you spare an hour for a lonely, desperate cop?" Before she could answer, he kissed her.

Her heart rate was off the charts, getting a whiff of his scent that was a mixture of his cologne but more enjoyably his natural scent that drove her wild; her mind too preoccupied by the kiss and the feel of him to recall her conversation in the kitchen. Until she heard the loud, intentional clearing of one's throat.

They both broke apart at the same time but held their position as they looked in the direction of the sound.

Steve stared in amazement at the woman standing only a few feet away. It was Anna a week ago before she had changed her hair. It was unbelievable to him the identical likeness. It took him a second to get his head wrapped around the scene, still reeling over the kiss that had him aching for the Anna in his arms.

"Oh yea," Anna said as he looked back at her puzzled. "I forgot.," she smiled uneasily. "My sister's here...Surprise."


	12. Chapter 12

Alyssa walked down the hallway toward Steve with her hand extended. "Hi, you must be Steve."

The similarity was uncanny, but it was her voice that gave away the difference between the two sisters. It oozed with sexuality and a blatant confidence that she knew how to use it. Everything that Anna had told him about her was true. His dislike for her was instant, not only because of the things she'd done to Anna but he'd known women like her. They were dangerous. He kept an arm around Anna as he stretched his hand out to her. "Hi. You must be Alyssa."

"In the flesh." She took his hand and kept eye contact with him as she spoke. "Anna, my dear sister, you told me he was a great guy, but you left out how cute he was."

He felt Anna instantly tense up over that comment. As far as he was concerned the visitor had already over welcomed their stay. He ignored her comment. "How long are you in town for?"

She shrugged, "As long as Hawaii can tolerate me, or vice versa." She smiled at Anna next. "I'm here to help out with Jenny and Eric as much as I can. I wanted to surprise them," she reached up and touched Anna's hair, "but the surprise was all mine. I can't believe this hairstyle you've got going on. You're brave."

"I just wanted a change," Anna replied, already having heard the condescending reaction when they first met up. Her words now were a lot more tolerant.

"I think she looks beautiful," Steve said, moving his hand up her back and massaging her shoulder, hoping to relive some of the tension he could feel. "I like it better than the old way."

Alyssa shot him a look, taking that as an insult since her hair was Anna's 'old way.' She wasn't used to being second best in a room when it came to her twin, even though besides the hair, they were identical. "I guess," she retorted. "Sometimes a change is nice. It helps spice up life."

Anna wanted off this subject, turning to Steve. "Have you eaten?" Knowing he came for sex, which she painfully regretted not being able to give to him, so she decided on the other instead.

"No, not yet."

Alyssa turned walking toward the kitchen. "I don't think he came for food Anna. Please, don't let me interrupt."

She looked up at him and rolled her eyes, whispering to him. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

He put his arm over her shoulder as they walked to the kitchen. "I came to see you. I'm not leaving until I have to."

She smiled shyly over that, resting her head on his shoulder. "Thank you."

He took a seat at the table as Anna went to the fridge and began pulling out sandwich meat and cheese. She held up some ham for his approval.

"Whatever you have is fine," he said.

"Good looking and easy to please," Alyssa said, nudging Anna as she reached past her in the fridge for a can of Diet Coke. "So," she continued, leaning against the counter as she popped the top open. "Anna says you're a police officer and you live next door."

"Yep," he replied dryly, seeing now why Anna had such issues with her. "By the way." He focused solely on Anna, trying to ignore the natural disaster that was in the room with them. "Did you talk to Eric's teacher?"

"Yes." She put an extra helping of meat on the bread as she talked to him. "I think I know what the problem is."

Steve sat up in the chair, "Really. What?"

She put the sandwich on a plate and came over setting it down in front of him as she took a seat at the table. She looked over at Alyssa. "He told some classmates that Alyssa Jordan was his Aunt. No one believed him and they started giving him a hard time about it, calling him a liar."

Alyssa gasped as she took a seat next to Anna, "Oh my god, that poor baby. He must have just been trying to fit in." She sat back in the chair crossing her arms with a condescending look on her face. "I told you, you should have sent them to a private school."

Anna sighed, not wanting to get into this argument all over again. "What makes you think it would be any easier for him at a private school?"

"Kids are different at places like that. They probably would have believed him and he'd be the most popular kid there."

"And you have so much experience with private elementary schools, how?" Anna huffed.

"I have lots of friends whose kids go to private schools. They're all very well adjusted."

"Really?" Anna replied sarcastically. "And how many of them would be so," she used her fingers as quotes, "'well adjusted,' if they lost both of their parents in a car accident? There are other issues besides this one."

Alyssa rolled her eyes. "I'm just saying."

"Well say something that can help the problem."

"Ok," she said, holding her hands out. "How's this. I'll go visit the school, make an appearance and prove that I'm really his Aunt." She smiled cleverly, imitating the fingers as quotes, only sarcastically, "Problem 'Eric' solved." She shook her head at her sister. "I don't know why you have to make everything seem so difficult Anna. I've only been here for ten minutes and I already have him figured out."

Anna looked over at Steve with a raised eyebrow as if telling him 'I told you so'.

He picked up his sandwich, his expression reeling over Alyssa's vanity and absurd statement. "Problem solved." He took a bite, thinking it would be better to keep his mouth full, afraid he might actually say what was on his mind.

Alyssa on the other hand took it that they both agreed that she had actually solved Eric's problems, not realizing the sarcasm.

* * *

Anna stood next to Steve's truck thirty minutes later. She leaned back against it, covering her face with her hands. "Ahhh!" she growled, spreading her fingers and looking at him through them sheepishly. "I wouldn't blame you if you hid in your house until she's gone?"

He reached up and pulled her hands down, holding both of them. "And leave you alone in that chaos. No way." He kissed the back of her hands and then kissed her lips. "You're doing a fantastic job with them Anna. Don't let her influence here change that."

She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm so glad I have you to lean on."

He put his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "I'm here night and day for you, but I'm not family. I'm not sure where my influence with the kids lies right now."

Anna leaned back looking up at him. "You are more family to Jenny and Eric than she's ever been. Don't YOU," she pointed at his chest, "let her influence here change that."

He felt that way about all three of them, but having Anna clarify it made it so much more important to him now. "I would do anything for the three of you. Anything that you asked."

She didn't have to question his loyalty to those words, she knew first hand that they were as sincere as they were true. She rose up on her toes, looking him in the eye. "I know. And we would do anything for you too. You may live alone next door, Steve. but you're not alone, ever."

Those were quite possibly the sweetest words he'd ever heard spoken. She didn't know it but it was precisely what he'd be searching for and never knew just how badly he wanted it until they moved in. He had no words to thank her for it, so he showed his appreciation with a kiss.

Alyssa stood at the second story window in Jenny's room observing them below. Her first thought was to capture the details and use it for motivation for a future roll, which she often did when doing her 'people watching'. But as she watched the moment progress she felt a pang of jealousy over the close intimacy that played out before her. Even from a distance she could see the bond Anna and Steve shared. She had noticed a change in her sister the second that man walked in the house. It was a confidence that Anna had never possessed before, a confidence that she herself had been born with but never witnessed on her twin until that day.

Even now as she watched them, her relaxed manner with him was unusual. Anna had always been shy and introverted when it came to men. Daryl had even joked once while they were in bed together that she must have stole all the sexual inspiration when they were in the womb together from her poor sister. She laughed over it, feeling a jolt to her ego, but there was a jealousy towards Anna that she kept hidden. She herself might have had the spotlight and the glory of Hollywood, but Anna was smarter than she ever would be and carried herself with so much natural grace that even as a child she had tried to imitate her, but it was impossible.

She remembered being second best to her sister and hating every minute of it; until adolescence, when she found the one thing that could suppress her twin and catapult her to gaining the upper hand. Men. She knew how they thought, what they liked and even more importantly how to manipulate them. It's what got her to Hollywood and what would sustain what she was sure would be a long and distinguished career. But she also couldn't deny that if it wasn't for Anna's intelligence and wisdom in most of her career choices that she wouldn't be where she was now. She needed her twin now more than ever as she rose to the top.

She had everything she could ask for at the moment, beauty, wealth, fame, but she still wasn't happy, it wasn't enough. It was never enough. She stared down at her sister, hating the way Anna lived her life with such simplicity as if she were mocking her. She was always the good one. She always had everyone's best interest at heart. It was nauseating sometimes. Even when their brother died, she didn't even hesitate to stay and take over. Once again 'Angel Anna' to the rescue, while it made her look like a bitch and seem uncaring in everyone else's eyes.

She knew what they were saying behind her back, but worse than that it was what they said to her directly.

"_Anna was a saint for doing what she was doing,_" they would say, or "_Anna was so generous with her life for those kids it must be in her nature to be a mother." "You must be so proud of her_?" was the one she hated the most.

What was she supposed to do, drop her life and movie career that she'd worked so hard to achieve just to babysit a couple of kids that she barely knew? It wasn't her place nor was it Anna's. She needed her to stay in LA and continue with her real job of taking care of her and assisting with her career choices that were confusing and dangerous if she didn't choose wisely. Anna was the best assistant she'd ever had. She could have brought the kids there, she would even have paid for a private school and a Nanny. '_But no_,' she thought bitterly. She had to stay in Hawaii and disrupt everyone's lives.

That was the real reason she had taken Daryl, not because they had fallen in love like she had told her, but because Anna was happy with him and if she took that away she knew her life here would be miserable and then maybe she'd come home. She stayed away just long enough to give her a taste of loneliness, hearing the pain and desperation in her voice when they spoke on the phone, knowing when she got to Hawaii Anna would be begging her to take her and the kids back to LA.

What she didn't plan on was Steve. On the contrary, Anna wasn't miserable, she wasn't lonely, and she wasn't begging to come home. She was happy.

Her eyes moved from Anna to Steve, watching the easiness he had with her. A pain of jealously struck her again, as she watched him kiss her. It wasn't a goodbye kiss but something Anna had said that had clearly affected him, she could see it even from a distance. What was it, she wondered that her sweet little innocent sister could say to such a striking man that would in turn distribute such a kiss? She compared him to Daryl who had self-confidence and looks but it was unmatched to the man below.

Steve matched her sister's characteristics of being smooth and by his qualifications that Anna had laid out, he equaled her intelligence as well but more so than that, he seemed to be crazy about Anna. The moment she'd interrupted in the hall earlier as well as the display before her now, screamed it. If they weren't in love yet, they were getting there. She had to put a stop to this and get Anna back to LA where she belonged, with her family. It was an easy, selfish excuse she used to convince herself and the motivation she would use to convince Anna as well. He was in the way and she knew Anna wouldn't leave as long as he was around.

She saw her own reflection in the window and smiled at it, often admiring herself. Anna may have wits about life, but she had the brains when it came to men. She'd never failed once and didn't plan to this time either. She looked back down at him thinking it would be a pleasure, even if it would only be the one time. He looked like a good lover.

Maybe, she thought, maybe she'd give Anna back Daryl once they were home in LA as a way of saying she was sorry. It would help take her mind off of Steve anyway, she thought. She smiled at her reflection again as the plan laid out in her head. "You are smart," she said to no one except the clever smile in the window.

* * *

"Anna," Alyssa said coming down the stairs as she came in the front door. "Why don't we all go out to dinner tonight? My treat. We can go someplace that the kids will like. Bring Steve along. Daryl will be there too."

"Daryl?!" she gasped, staring up at her sister.

"Yes. He came with me."

"You didn't tell me he was here!"

"He's my bodyguard. He travels with me all the time. You should know that."

"He's not staying here."

Alyssa chuckled over that. "Of course not and neither am I. We have a suite as the Hilton."

"You're not staying here with us?" she asked, surprised at first, but then was actually pleased.

Alyssa looked around at her accommodations. "You know I need a maid to clean up and room service to bring me breakfast. I'm not going to expect you to do any of that." She put her arm over her shoulder. "So what do you think about dinner? Where should we go, someplace fun for the kids? I'll call Daryl and let him know. He was worried about coming but I assured him it was all good. We were over all that mess."

"But," Anna began to argue and then stopped, surprised that after the initial shock was over of him being there that she really and honestly didn't care. She realized in that spilt second of being faced with it, that she had no feelings for him anymore. She had Steve. She couldn't have been happier. What did she care if Daryl had come to Hawaii? Steve was the one that she was worried about. She tried to imagine having dinner with Becky. "I'm not so sure Steve will be able to make it. Sometimes he gets stuck at work on a case."

"You seem happy with him," Alyssa said. "How long have you been dating?"

Anna shrugged as she walked toward the kitchen, "About a month or so, not long after we moved in here."

'_A month?_' Alyssa thought amusingly, '_that wasn't long enough to establish any kind of lasting bond._' "He's gorgeous Anna. Better looking than most men in Hollywood."

She stopped and turned, wondering if it were just a statement or if her sister was panting over him. "What do you mean by that?"

Alyssa quickly tried to put her mind at ease. She didn't want to blow the plan on the first day. She needed her as an ally to complete the mission. "Anna," she said passively, going up to her and putting her hands on her shoulders. "Stop. I didn't mean anything by it at all. I was just stating the obvious. Any friend would say the same thing to you." She smiled, recalling a sinister character she played once, using it as motivation. "And I'm your best friend. I thought we put all that Daryl stuff behind us?" Her expression became sad and almost desperate. "You know how much I need you. You're my stability in this crazy life I live. You always have been. I know we don't talk as much as we used to when you lived in LA, but I miss you. You're really all the family that I have."

Anna looked in her eyes and tried her best to read her motives but sometimes it was just hard with Alyssa. But when it came down to it, she was her sister and at the moment she had no friends and having her there was a plus. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say you're sorry." She put her arm over her shoulder as she walked her into the kitchen. "I'm here on vacation and I just want to have some fun and get to know the kids better," she squeezed her, "and spend some time with my sister."

"I'd like that," she replied, hoping that they could establish some sort of truce over that whole Daryl issue now that she was with someone else and happy. She decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Alyssa watched her pick up Steve's plate and set it in the dishwasher. Her back was to her and she scanned her figure that had become slimmer since the last time she had seen her. Her long legs were toned and along with the Hawaiian tan she looked amazing. Even now that she'd got used to it, she was starting to like the new hair as well, running her hand over her own silky locks, contemplating the same style, but knowing her manager would have a fit. Her hair was one of her trademarks, but still, she was sure she could wear it better than Anna. But what she couldn't compete with was the happiness that illuminated off of her. This place called paradise was living up to its words in this house. "Hey, guess what?" she blurted out.

Anna looked up from pulling a wad of towels out of the dryer into a basket. "What?"

"I was at an event the other night and I ran into Liam Hemsworth. He asked about you."

She stood up with the basket in her hands. "He did?"

Alyssa smiled cunningly and nodded. "He was actually looking over my shoulder for you."

Anna rolled her eyes and chuckled. "He was probably going to ask about that Journey shirt."

Alyssa laughed. "That was so funny. I think you really made an impression on him while we were on that movie set."

"Some impression," Anna said setting the basket on the table as she pulled out a towel and began to fold it. "He was madly in love with Miley Cyrus."

Alyssa shrugged, "Not anymore. They broke up a long time ago. Get with the program."

"I don't care anyway."

"Don't you miss the red carpet events? The fun we would have."

Anna shrugged not wanting to hurt her feelings knowing Alyssa always insisted she come, yet she never had the glamorous dresses or before event primping like her twin did. She knew it was because Alyssa wanted to stand out and God forbid there be two of them. She also knew the only reason she wanted her there was incase she needed something, or an excuse to get out of a boring event. But that was her job, to keep Alyssa steady and out of trouble, but not anymore. "I really don't miss LA at all. It's so beautiful and peaceful here. The people are amazing."

"Oh yea," Alyssa huffed. "Like that guy that broke in here?" she rolled her eyes, "Amazing."

Anna looked at her irritably. "He thought I was you!"

She sat up in her chair. "That never would have happened to me. That's why I have bodyguards. If you were in LA you would have been safe."

Anna smiled brightly as she began to fold another towel. "I was safe. Steve was here in a split second." She giggled over the memory of it now. "You should have seen it. He took the knife right out of that guy's hand and then kicked his ass." She grinned happily. "He's my bodyguard."

"Where were the kids when all this was going on?" Her question sparked a nerve, which delighted her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, "Just asking."

"Jenny was locked in the bathroom and Eric was at Steve's." She neglected to tell her that he ran over to Steve's for help.

"Hmm. I'm just glad everything turned out all right and that you and the kids are ok."

"We are. I told you, Steve had it under control."

"Is this where some of Eric's issues come from? This incident?"

"No. It was going on before that."

"Like what kind of stuff?"

"Alyssa," she said getting annoyed with her, "just let me handle it. You are here to spread around your joy and fame so he becomes the most popular boy in school." She had to control the urge of rolling her eyes. "Let me deal with the emotional side." She knew if she told her about the car incident the day of the skydiving that she'd hold it against her, so she didn't. Being on the outside looking in it was very easy to see things differently than they actually were, but she and Steve were doing a pretty good job holding them all together and keeping them stable, she thought proudly.  
"Does Steve spend the night here?"

"No," she set a folded towel on a stack of others. "We haven't decided when the time would be right for that."

Alyssa grinned, pointing toward the hallway. "So this afternoon with him showing up here unexpected, is that the only time you two have for sex?"

She looked at her as if that were a bold question. "No!" she shook her head irritably and began folding again. "We find time when we can between the kids schedule and his. It can be a challenge sometimes, but we make it work."

"Jesus Anna," she huffed. "You sound like you're a housewife that's trying to cover up her loneliness. It's like a TV movie script I read once but it sounded too boring to even produce."

"I like my life," she quickly argued. "I admit, in the beginning it was difficult. It was difficult for all of us, but now…" she sighed with a smile. "We've got into a nice rhythm. We're learning to respect one another. We're pretty happy."

"Except for Eric," she pointed out.

"He's doing much better too. Steve is a wonderful influence on him. He's helped a lot."

"Really?" she said with a raised eyebrow, "So he's here for good. I mean, are you two getting married, or what's the story?"

"Married?!" Anna laughed. "Why does everyone assume just because you're happy that you have to run off and get married?"

"So you don't want to marry him?" she asked, pleased over that.

She shrugged, "I didn't say that."

"Oh," Alyssa said, "so he doesn't want to get married?" She was even more pleased over that idea.

"No! I mean…I don't know. We don't talk about it. Or at least the subject has never come up."

"Are you telling me that you've never thought about it? Come on Anna. You know that's not true."

"I'm happy right now. Why ruin it."

"Oh, so you're saying then that you can't bring up that subject. Is he afraid of marriage? Has he ever been married?"

"No, and I don't think he's afraid of marriage."

"Has he ever been engaged?"

"He lived with someone for about a year before they broke up."

"Oh," Alyssa said knowingly, sitting back in the chair, folding her arms. "So he's that type of guy."

"What type of guy?"

"The type that would rather live with you than marry you. It's so much easier to get out of live-in relationship than a marriage." She shrugged as if it was common knowledge, planting a seed in Anna's head. "I know tons of guys like that. But he doesn't even have to do that. He lives next door. He has the best of both worlds."

Anna picked up the pile of towels and set them in the basket just a little too aggressively. "He doesn't think that way Alyssa."

"He doesn't?"

"No!"

"How do you know that unless you talked about it?" she held her hands up in defense. "Of course I could be wrong. He could be different. He could be the night in shinning armor. Of course he is what… thirty-four, thirty-five and never been married or even engaged. That raises a flag to me, but it's your life. I just know you can be a bit naïve when it comes to men. I don't want you to get hurt again is all."

"That's funny coming from you of all people." She could see the hurt on her sister's face over that remark.

"I knew that wasn't put to rest. I told you before, we fell…"

"I know! I know!" Anna rolled her eyes, "You fell in love, and it couldn't be helped! I know the story I was there, remember."

"You still have feelings for him don't you?"

"For who? Darryl?" she laughed sarcastically. "No, of course not. I'm in love with Steve." This conversation was taking a turn in a direction she didn't want to go.

"You just seem so angry even after all this time, even though you professed to me twice now that you're happy and that you love Steve. I'm not sure if you are lying to me about your feelings for Daryl or if I've struck a nerve about this conversation of commitment from Steve."

"Well I can tell you right now, I have NO feelings for Daryl. And you're right," Anna said angrily. "Like you said before, it's my life, and just for the record, I don't even want to get married." She stomped off down the hall, knowing that last statement was a lie, and knowing her sister, she probably knew it too. She hated the way she spoke her mind, knowing she was just probably looking out for her, but hated the way she went about it.

The truth was, she did think about marrying Steve. She didn't dwell on the subject but it had crossed her mind. She wondered if Steve thought about it too, and if he did, was it a good thought or a bad one. She couldn't deny the truth that he was thirty-four and never married or engaged. She thought about Becky then, wondering if she had ruined that side of him that could take that next step in a relationship.

As she went upstairs with the basket of clothes she stopped midway, closing her eyes and forgoing Alyssa's words, letting the true nature of she and Steve's relationship sink in. She really didn't want marriage from him right now, and she didn't need anything from him that he wasn't already providing. If the other were to happen, or not to happen in the future then so be it, but right now she was happy. She continued up the stairs deciding that dinner wasn't such a great idea. She had no desire to sit at a table with Daryl and Alyssa and pretend what they had done was all under the bridge. She was pretty sure Steve would feel the same way. Why expose him to all that baggage.

"You know what Alyssa," she yelled down. "Why don't you and Daryl take the kids to dinner. I think Steve and I will sit this one out."

She sat at the kitchen table and smiled, knowing she'd laid the seed and it was growing inside her sister whether she tried to fight it or not.

Trust was going to be her greatest ally in this quest to get Anna home to LA. All she had to do was break that line of trust between the two lovebirds and the rest would just fall into place.


	13. Chapter 13

Anna wrapped her arm around Steve's neck as he lifted her off the bed and up closer against him; her other arm around his waist pulling him in with every thrust of his body. It felt so good having a night to themselves, and even better what he was doing to her at the moment.

She looked over his shoulder at his room, wondering if she would ever live here, or would they live at her house, or would they ever live together?

She pushed that ridiculous thought from her head as he laid her back down on the bed and kissed her, bringing her back into the realm of the moment. Her hand went from his shoulder into his hair, getting lost in the feel of him, lifting her hips off the bed and taking control of their love making. He was pleased over that move, telling her so as he moaned softly while indulging in another kiss.

He pushed up, looking down at her. Her face was flushed, her lips full as the blood coursed through her body. She never looked so beautiful as she did when they were together like this. His heart leapt as a euphoric rush swept over him. He didn't think anything could feel as good as being inside her, but just looking at her sometimes was so satisfying he could indulge in the pleasure of it for hours. This is what it meant to be in love. He didn't question it any longer, he had arrived, and it was more rewarding than he had ever imagined.

Anna ran the palm of her hand down his face as he closed his eyes and smiled, truly enjoying the motion of it. He nestled back down on her, sliding an arm under her neck and the other around her waist, keeping a slow pace with her.

She could feel the end fast approaching as the built up force worked its magic through both of them. Knowing him well enough already to read the signs and he knowing her as well, always able to hold off until she was right there with him. No man had ever been that generous every single time. He was special, she knew that.

The moment suddenly turned on her, not feeling that euphoric rush that he did, but a dreaded one. She was in love with him more than she had led herself to believe. If she lost him she felt certain it would be something she would never recover from. It scared her as she hugged him tightly. The words of her sister crept into her head, wondering if these liaisons with him would be just that, stolen moments when they could be alone because they didn't have a life together everyday that would involve their own bed, in their own room.

Steve misread the signs and increased his pace, pushing into her knowing what she liked and how she liked it. It was the second best part of their love making that he enjoyed the most, feeling and hearing her climax. It was even better when it happened for both at them at the same time.

She tried to concentrate on his motive, knowing what he was searching for from her, but her mind was elsewhere as she cursed her sister for putting those crazy thoughts in her head. She reached up and kissed him, knowing that would help the cause as much as the feel of him, but it backfired on her as he found it to be so as well.

'_Don't do it_,' he thought as the power of her kiss moved through him, setting off the chain reaction that he couldn't stop. He gripped her tightly as it rippled through his body, his head swirling as those four to five seconds of sheer and utter bliss played out. It wasn't as pleasurable as the ones before because he had tried to hold back on her account, hoping she'd succumb to it at the last second, but to his dismay it didn't happen.

He laid his head down on her shoulder and sighed. "Sorry. You got me too wound up."

She stroked his hair knowing with those crazy thoughts in her head that it probably wouldn't have happened anyway. "It's ok," she said softly.

He sat up on his elbows, looking down at her. "No it's not, and it won't happen again." He kissed her telling her so. "I thought you were right there with me, especially with that kiss."

She knew what he was talking about. She often kissed him just before, and it had always worked like a charm, except this time. "I told you it's ok. It's not your fault."

He took that as a sign that she was distracted. "Are you ok? Did I do something or not do something to prevent it?"

"No," she shook her head turning her face away from him. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Yes it is," he moved off of her, "it's a big deal to me." He sensed that it was to her too but she was either trying to be nice about it, or cover her true feelings.

"It happened one time Steve. It's not like it's an epidemic. You're making too much out of it."

He rolled over on his back, looking over at her. "Are you telling me the truth?" He began to sense another reason and it didn't sit well with him.

She looked over at him, slightly annoyed over that question. "Are you interrogating me now?"

He sat up on the edge of the bed. "That was low." He glanced back at her, "Now I know there's something wrong. You're a terrible liar." He stared out the french doors of his room at the darkness. Everything had been good until the unexpected visitors arrived. He felt that familiar fear that masked itself as jealousy. "Is it because he's here?"

Anna sat up, "Is it because who's here?" She knew exactly what he was saying but wanted to hear it from his lips.

"You know what I'm talking about," his voice stressing his irritation as he pushed off the bed, pulling his sweat pants up. "Like I said, you're a bad liar."

"Talk about low blows." She scooted over to the other side and reached over for her shirt, angrily slipping it on. "Yea that's right Steve. I was SOOO distracted because Daryl was all I could think about while I having sex with you!" She stood up slipping her jeans on over her naked waist. "Go to hell," she spat grabbing her underwear and shoes off the floor, exiting through his bedroom door.

He stood in the middle of the room listing to her stomp down the stairs and out the front door, slamming it so hard he could feel the vibration through the floor.

He closed his eyes, trying to recall what had just happened. His head pounding as he reached up and massaged his temples.

"Fuck!" he growled, not able to determine if it was his fault or hers or both of theirs. It didn't matter either way, she was gone and at that second all he could feel was regret.

Anna came inside her house and slammed the door shut with the same intensity as she did his. She cringed over the loud noise, and then remembered the kids were at Alyssa's hotel for the night, becoming irritated over their excitement and joy over seeing their Aunt, barely giving her a nod as they both met them at the bus stop.

She barely made it halfway up the steps when she turned around and sat down, feeling all her energy depleted. She thought of the harsh words she and Steve had just said to each other and even more so the angry bitterness of their tone of voices.

He was right, she had been distracted. He sensed it on her and then she lied to him about it, which he also caught on to. How could he not, he dealt with liars everyday. Her lack of openness would only lead him to believe it was something she was hiding from him. Why wouldn't he consider the results bad, knowing what he had dealt with in the past and then Daryl showing up. Her silence led him in the only direction he could go, that she was being deceitful.

She dropped her head in hands, "Oh God. You are so stupid."

She pulled herself up and came down the steps going for the door when she saw it open from the other side. By the time she got to the bottom step he was there to greet her. His expression matched the same agonizing one that she wore.

"I'm sorry Anna. I shouldn't have..." he began when she put her hand over his mouth, silencing him.

"Don't say it," she whimpered. "It was my fault." She put her arms around his neck hugging him. "You have nothing to be sorry for, it was all me. You were right, I was distracted. I'm sorry I didn't admit that to you." She pulled back looking at him apologetically.

Her confession pleased him but it also scared him. He felt a tight grip around his heart as he asked the next question. "Was it then...because of him?"

Anna instantly saw a change come over him, it was everywhere, but more so in his eyes that looked worried.

"No!, No, of course not," she quickly replied. "God Steve, no." she put her hands on his face. "I don't think about other men...," she halfheartedly laughed, "at all! You are the only man I think about."

He liked that answer as a rye smile curved in the corner of his mouth, "Well I don't want to be greedy and take up all your man time," he joked.

"Too late," she grinned, "it's a done deal.

He kissed her for that before moving on to the subject at hand. "So what was it then? What had you distracted?"

"Nothing. Just something that Alyssa had said. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. Its come between us. We need to talk about it so I know how to deal with it."

She sighed heavily and then growled, not angry with him, but uneasy over having to say what she had too.

"You can tell me anything, you know that, right?" he said trying to ease her into it. "Good or bad."

That helped as she stumbled into it. "She just…She said something about you being thirty-four and never married or engaged. She said you probably have a hard time committing to a relationship," she shrugged, "or something stupid like that."

He could almost hear the words spilling out of Alyssa's mouth. That girl seemed to have no end when it came to her sister's demise. "She's right. I am thirty-four and I've never been married and no, I've never been close." He reached up and stroked her cheek with his hand. "But that's only because I was never with the right girl."

She felt the warmth of that touch all the way down to her toes. "It's important," she said, suddenly intoxicated over his presence. "you should find someone that has your best interest at heart. She should be someone that wants to make you happy and someone you can trust. There's nothing wrong with waiting…for that right person."

He smiled at her shyness as she bent her head down. He didn't have to look any further for that person than the one standing before him. "I'm not afraid of it, Anna. But when it happens I don't want it to be for your sister, or for Jenny and Eric, or anyone else but us."

She nodded feeling as if he had just proposed to her right then and there. "I agree." She laid her head against shoulder feeling his strong embrace wrap around her. "I love you," she said fighting back tears.

"I love you too," he confessed wholeheartedly. He realized then it was the first time he had actually said that to a woman using those exact words. He was surprised that it felt just as good to say it as it was to hear.

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Anna rolled over the next morning and draped her arm over Steve's chest as he lay next to her, resting her head on his shoulder. He moaned softly coming out of dead sleep but enjoying the way it was happening, stroking her bare back and arm.

"I gotta get up," he groaned, eyes still closed.

"Me too," she said sighing. "Let's just go someplace and disappear," she smiled, knowing it was impossible even for the day.

"Ok," he played along, knowing too that it was impossible. "Where?"

"We can just hike up some trail in the mountains. You can build us a little log cabin, hunt and fish for food and I'll skin and cook it."

He chuckled over that, squeezing her a little tighter. "My kind of girl."

She looked up at him, "We could even play naked survivalist."

He rolled her over on her back, grinning down at her. "Now you're talking. When do we leave?"

She giggled as her hand moved down his body and between his legs. "Right after you make love to me again. Do we have time?"

He moaned as she began to stroke him. "You're lucky, I've got all the time in the world for that."

"My kind of man," she said reaching up with her mouth and kissing him.

* * *

"I don't have time Anna. I have to go," Steve yelled going for the front door.

She quickly screwed the lid on the coffee mug and picked up the sandwich, chasing after him. "Wait!" she yelled out.

He stopped just outside the door as she came at him still wearing her blue bathrobe and her hair in a turbulent mess after their last encounter. He couldn't help but smile over the sweetness of it. The only word that came to mind was 'housewife'. '_Sexiest damn housewife I've ever seen_,' he thought.

"Here," she said, shoving the coffee mug at him and then the sandwich.

He took the mug but hesitated on the food. "What is that?"

She rolled her eyes, knowing it was pitiful, but it was the best she could do. "It's peanut butter and jelly. I can't make a good egg sandwich and you can't eat pancakes in the truck." She shoved it at him again. "Just take it. You have to eat something before you go to work."

He opened his mouth to object but changed his mind, not remembering the last time someone cared enough to make him eat. "Ok." He took it and leaned over kissing her. "Thank you. I don't think I've had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich since I was five, but I promise I'll eat it."

She smiled over that as he backed up, taking a large bite.

"Hey," he said with a mouthful, "not bad."

She leaned against the doorframe crossing her arms, watching him jog to his truck and take another bite.

"Be safe!" she yelled out.

"I will," he yelled over his shoulder, swallowing down another bite of his breakfast. "Stay out of trouble today."

She laughed over that, standing at the door and waving as he drove off, hearing a toot of his horn as Alyssa and the kids pulled in seconds later in her SUV. Jenny was just pulling her arm in the window after waving to him.

Eric got out first and came running up to her. "Aunt Alyssa's going to come to my school today and have lunch with me!"

"That's nice." She looked over his shoulder as she came walking up, holding Jenny's hand.

"Hurry up," Alyssa said, "or you're going to be late."

"Ok." He tore up the stairs as Anna said the same thing to Jenny.

"You're bus is going to be here in about twenty minutes."

"Ok." She went up the stairs and stopped halfway. "Aunt Alyssa said we could paint my room pink," she announced running up the rest of the way to her room.

"Oh she did, did she?" Anna glared at her sister. "That's sweet of her."

"What? That green is hideous." She looked her up and down in the robe, focusing on her hair. "I hope Steve didn't see you like this this morning. You could use some help too."

"Shut up," Anna said closing the door as they came inside.

"I'm just saying Sis, a little makeup goes a long way and maybe a new robe. Something silky and red maybe."

"Yes, Steve saw me this morning," Anna grinned, "and I'm pretty sure he was pleased with what he saw." She breezed past her smiling brightly.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, "Well isn't that sweet."

They heard a slight knock on the door as Alyssa turned and went back. "Oh yea, I forgot. Daryl followed us here."

"What?!" Anna said, going ahead of her to the stairs. "You didn't tell me he was coming over."

"I had your car. I needed a ride. He went and rented one." She watched her sister bolt up the stairs. "Well my, my," Alyssa snickered. "All of a sudden your appearance matters?"

Anna ignored the comment going into her room and closing the door.

* * *

She came down twenty minutes later after a quick shower and primping. It wasn't done to impress Daryl in the least. It was more to show him that she'd happily moved on and his leaving her at that moment turned out to be the best decision he'd ever made as far as she was concerned.

She came in the kitchen just as they sat down after returning from walking the kids to the bus stop. He rose out of his chair, smiling at her; his dark blue eyes scanning her figure and coming to rest on her face and hair.

"Wow," he said grinning. "That suits you," he said of the new hair cut.

She was just as surprised over the physical changes in him, seeing Alyssa written all over them. His hair which had once been thick and blond was now all but cut off, he wore it in almost a buzz cut, but his new style suited him as well. His teeth were whiter than before and a body that she knew had a personal trainer attached to it. The tan that covered it was richer as well, she could recognize a spray tan from thirty feet. Yes, she thought sadly, he was a Hollywood boy toy now.

"Thank you," she said of his compliment, not giving one in return as she went to the fridge. "It's nice to see you again Daryl. So, did you have fun with the kids last night?"

"Yes," Alyssa spoke up. "They were so much fun. We had dinner at restaurant that was on the top floor of the hotel, very nice and they were perfectly behaved."

"They're great kids," Daryl replied sincerely. "They sure do admire you, and Steve," he shook his head. "they went on and on about him. I feel like I already know him." He sat back in his chair, holding up a finger for every description that he spoke off. "A high school football star, a Navy Seal, a police officer, but not just any police officer, a special one that works exclusively for the Governor?" he asked, wondering if there was some exaggeration on Eric's part there.

Anna smiled as she sat down at the table and opened a small bottle of OJ, pleased over Eric's bragging of Steve. It made her feel proud knowing Daryl couldn't help but feel impressed over it, solidifying her idea that she had done well for herself after his absence. "Yes," she said nonchalantly. "He runs a task force for the Governor and answers only to him. He was born and raised here for most of his life." She pointed in the direction of his house. "He grew up in that house next door. He's a great guy and Eric and Jenny have really taken to him."

Daryl nodded with a grin, "They love him. I think every other word out of their mouth if they weren't bragging on you was bragging on him."

Alyssa took in a deep breath and smiled, but what she wanted to do was reach over and smother Daryl. "They really liked the pool we swam in. It had water slides and a swim up bar so they got to order smoothies right there."

"I'm glad you had fun," Anna said. "It was kind of nice to have the night off. Steve and I had a nice night too." She blushed just slightly over the remembrance of it. "So thank you." She took a drink of her OJ, "Oh and by the way," she said to Alyssa. "I took your advice and I spoke to him last night about what we talked about yesterday," her smile grew even wider, "he's completely on board."

Alyssa forced a pleasant smile, but inside she was reeling over it. "Really? Well good for you." She reached over and put a hand on Daryl's leg, stroking it, hoping the suggestive gesture would irk Anna and make her feel jealous, but on the contrary she wasn't even sure she noticed it.

Daryl on the other hand was surprised over it; she very seldom ever touched him in such an intimate way. He had said to her once that she recouped all the sexual genes in the womb from her sister but as their relationship progressed, he wanted to tell her that although she had that, Anna had recouped all the nurturing genes. Alyssa's touch was cold, and even now he knew this gesture was not for his benefit. "You seem like you carved out a really nice life here Anna. You seem happy and so do the kids." He knew that would piss off Alyssa, knowing she wanted Anna back in LA.

Sure enough that hand came off. He didn't care. The guilt over what had happened bothered him every time Anna's name came up. Thinking back now he knew a force that was stronger than his will led him astray. That force was Alyssa. She was smooth and she came on like a hurricane, leaving the path behind her in ruins. It was a good life he led now, but it was also lonely and he often felt she was unfaithful but could never catch her in the act. And even if he could he was pretty sure she'd convince him that it wasn't her fault. He was in love in the beginning but as time was moving on he was beginning to realize he wasn't really in love with her, he was in love with the missing side of Anna that he found so incredibly fascinating in Alyssa. He often thought that if he could combine the two women into one, he'd be set for life.

As he sat in the kitchen with the other twin he began to long for those days with her. She might have been sexually inexperienced but it was something they could have worked on together and fixed, but with Alyssa, you were either born with a nurturing side or you weren't, and she wasn't.

"Thank you Daryl," Anna replied, surprised over the sincere way in which he complimented her life here. "I am happy. I hope you like Steve too. His credentials describe him as kind of like a machine, so to speak, but it couldn't be further from the truth. You should see him around Jenny," she laughed, "that little girl has him wrapped around her little finger. He'd be the first to admit it."

He nodded, "I'm looking forward to it." But what he really felt was jealously. He was jealous of a man that he didn't even know. His curiosity to meet him was there but so was the dread of seeing the two of them together. He began to think now more than ever that he never should have left her. He had made a mistake.

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Steve heard a soft knock on his front door and opened it to Jenny standing there in a white sundress with silver sandals. He recalled picking out both of them on their latest shopping trip. Her hair was up in a ponytail with a white hibiscus flower tucked neatly on the side.

"Wow," he gasped, looking down at her. "Don't you look beautiful."

She smiled brightly over his compliment, putting her hands behind her back, showing off her dress. "Do you remember this dress we bought?"

"Of course I do. I think I'm the one that picked it out."

She did a small leap over the correct answer, pleased with it. "Anna wanted me to tell you she's ready. Are you ready?"

"I am," He reached over on the side table and picked up his wallet, putting it in the inside pocket of his blue blazer. He came out the door. Closing it behind him. He held his hand out to her. "May I escort you to dinner Miss Jordan?"

She giggled over the formal way in which he said it, hearing something like that before in a Disney movie. "Ok." She took his hand as they started over to her house. She looked up at him. "What are you going to order for dinner tonight?" she asked.

He chuckled, "I don't know, maybe a steak."

"I want chicken strips!" she replied, gripping his hand and jumping up at the same time. "Or maybe a grilled cheese sandwich." Her eyes got big over that idea. "I'm hungry."

"Me too. Maybe I'll order three steaks and for desert a bowl of ice cream with worms."

She laughed, leaning her body into him as they walked. "Real worms?!"

"Only but the best."

She gripped his hand with both of hers. "Can I sit next to you at the place?"

It was a small request but one that he found quite endearing. "Absolutely." He looked up seeing Anna standing in the doorway wearing a dark blue dress and black pumps that put her almost at his height. She looked stunning. He stared at her but spoke to Jenny. "With you sitting on one side of me and Anna on the other, I'll be the luckiest man in the place."

Anna smiled shyly, rolling her eyes. She admired him in the jacket and light blue shirt that was unbuttoned just enough that she could make out the beginning of his chest hair. He looked just as stunning to her. "I think Jenny and I are the lucky ones to be sitting with two of the most handsome men on the island." She put her hand on Eric's shoulder as he came and stood next to her.

He shifted his shoulders uncomfortably. "This shirt itches my back." He looked up at her. "Can't I put on a t-shirt?"

"No," Steve answered for her. "If I have to wear this, then you're wearing that."

Anna put her hands on her hips. "It's only one night. I know you'd both rather go to JJ's for pizza, but get over it."

"It's going to be fun. Fun! Fun!" Jenny declared. "Its fun to dress up."

Eric rolled his eyes as he walked past both of them to the car. "It's stupid."

Steve looked over at Anna as she shook her head, mouthing the words, "bad mood."

He had an idea what it was about. "Did something happen at the 'lunch' today?" he asked, insinuating the trip to the school with Alyssa.

Anna shook her head. "I don't think so. He seemed pretty happy about that. His classmates loved her." she shrugged, "She's great at appearances."

"Then what?"

Anna shrugged again. "I don't know."

Steve looked at his watch. "We better get going."

"I'll be right out." Anna held the keys to her car out to him as she went back inside. "See if you can get anything out of him in the next five minutes." She knew if anyone could get the goods on Eric it was Steve.

"Alright, give me a minute."

He went to the car, touching the release on the alarm as Eric got in the back.

"Hey," he said. "Guys up front this time."

He seemed to like that and quickly shut that door, running around to the passenger side and getting in.

Steve slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. "So how was lunch today with your Aunt?"

"Pretty cool," he smiled. "She sat with me in the lunch room and everybody ended up gathering around our table and taking selfies with her and getting her autograph."

"Nice." He crossed that off his list. Anna was right, he sounded like that wasn't the issue. "I haven't talked to you in a couple days. How's everything else going?"

Eric shrugged. "Ok, I guess." He looked over at him sheepishly and then turned away.

Steve caught on that he wanted to say something but was either afraid to or uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat so he could see him better. "Spill it."

Eric looked over at him. "What?"

"Come on," he motioned with his hand for him to speak. "Here we are, both of us sitting in this car in monkey suits because we got talked into it by the girls, and now you're telling me we can't even have a man to man conversation. I'm disappointed. Maybe we should go change into dresses."

Eric laughed over that, looking back over at him. "Ok, ok." He bent his head down, speaking softly, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

Steve took a silent deep breath assuming it was going to be something huge by his demeanor, hoping he could help him through whatever the situation was.

"They have this thing at school," Eric started. "They take the kids who want to go up to this place in the Koolau Mountains. They hike up and then spend the night." He glanced over in his direction but kept his head down. "A parent has to go with if you want to go, but…" he sighed, "I don't think Anna could go because of Jenny and she wasn't very good in that tree and all. I was just wondering if maybe you…" he paused, feeling that anxiety over asking, simply because Steve wasn't his parent, or even a parent at all.

Steve leaned forward just a bit, surprised that it was something so simple. "So, are you asking if I would go with you instead?"

Eric looked over at him sheepishly and nodded. "If you want to. You don't have to if you don't want to. I know you're really busy and have to work and all and…it will be with other parents, and we aren't really...you know."

"Work isn't a problem. I can take off work. And if you're asking me to go, I would love to."

Eric sat up in his seat. "You would?"

Steve smiled, "Yes! Are you kidding me. I live for that kind of stuff."

"It'll be really fun!" his attitude instantly changing. "We have to make our own shelter and start our own fire and cook our own food."

"Ah man," Steve's enthusiasm mirrored his, "you and me, we'll have the best set up there. We'll be living like kings."

"I know!" Eric sat up even higher in his seat. "I'll help you because I know you know how to do all that stuff from when you were a Seal. It'll be just like we're both Seals on a mission."

Steve put his fist up. "Heck ya. It'll be great!"

Eric touched his fist to his. "I can't wait!"

"When is it?"

"After Thanksgiving. In December."

"Ok, I'm in for sure."

Eric sat back in his seat, smiling happily. "Thanks for going with me."

"I'm really looking forward to it. We're going to have a good time."

He tapped on the horn for the girls, rolling his window down. "Let's go ladies, your boys are hungry."

Anna smiled knowing all must be well.

"Can we go now?" Jenny asked not sure why they had to stand by the door for no reason.

"Yes, we can go now."

Steve got out, looking over at Eric. "Hey, a gentleman always opens a door for a lady."

He looked out as Jenny came over to his side. "But she's my sister."

"Even more reason. Get out and open the door."

He climbed out and did as instructed as Steve opened that back driver's side door for Anna. "You have chauffers' tonight if that's ok?"

"That's fine," she agreed, leaning in and whispering to him. "Is everything ok?"

"Everything's great," he assured her as she got in.

He closed her door and the two of them got back in the front seat as Steve began to back up, Eric turned in his seat to Anna. "Steve and I are going to go on a camping trip with my class at school."

"You are?" Jenny asked. "Can I go too?"

"No," Eric quickly announced, "it's for my class only."

"We'll all go sometime together, ok," Steve said, trying not to make her feel left out.

"Ok," she said, but still sounded disappointed.

"You know what," Anna said. "You and I will do a spa day while they are up in the mountains getting all dirty and yucky. What do you think of that?"

Jenny clapped excitedly. "Yes! Can we get our toenails painted too?"

"Of course."

Steve looked at Anna in the rearview mirror, winking at her for helping out the cause. She smiled back at him, scanning the car at their little family that had come together under extraordinary circumstances but were as close if not closer than most real families she had known in LA. She had grown to love each and every one of them and couldn't imagine a life without them.

She held her breath for just a second over the idea of where they were headed to at that moment; dinner with Alyssa and Daryl. She glanced at Steve again as he and Eric talked, pleased that he had accepted the invitation to come with them, after the late night events from the night before, they both felt a new bond form in their relationship, and as always, she felt better with him at her side. It was just nice knowing someone had her back no matter what. She didn't feel as apprehensive about dinner with them as she did the night before. After seeing Daryl again it only solidified her feelings for Steve. In a way she felt sorry for Daryl. He really didn't seem very happy at all.

She looked up at Steve again in the rearview mirror, her eyes drawn to him as she caught him looking back at that second as well. She couldn't see his smile but his eyes showed it.

"_Keep your eyes on the road_," he thought, having no willpower to stop himself from catching a quick glimpse of the beauty sitting behind him every so often. He had no qualms about going with her tonight. He hadn't even hesitated when she asked. He wanted to be with her, not because Daryl was going to be there, he had laid that crazy thought to rest the night before, but because she asked him, and too him that meant she needed him there, and he would do anything she asked regardless of the question. Besides, he thought, this guy might actually end up being his brother-in-law someday and he might as well get used to them being around. If Anna could move on from the past and be socially pleasant, then he decided he would too. It could be worse, he thought, they could live two streets over instead of an ocean away. He should count his blessings.

* * *

He pulled up in front of the Hilton and elected valet parking.

The man gave him his ticket as Anna and the kids waited just inside the doors for them. As he walked toward her she slipped her cell phone back in her purse.

"Alyssa said they have a table already in the dining room. A place called Bali?"

Steve nodded and motioned towards the beach. "It's over this way."

Jenny reached up without even thinking and took his hand, skipping along the path that led through the beautiful open-air lobby up to two large mahogany wood doors that were covered with Hawaiian carvings. Steve reached out and opened it letting Anna go through first and then Eric and then guiding Jenny inside who was paying more attention to the sparkling lights and warm atmosphere as they entered the dim lit restaurant.

"This is pretty," she said, looking all around her. "Look! You can see the ocean," she pointed out toward the back that was completely exposed to Waikiki Beach.

"Pretty nice place," Steve agreed.

She looked up at him worried. "Do you think they have chicken strips here?"

He squeezed her hand. "If they don't I bet you a million dollars they have grilled cheese, so you're covered for dinner."

She smiled and did a small leap. "Remember, I get to sit next to you." she reminded him.

"Of course." He caught up with Eric and Anna, putting a hand on her back as they made their way to the table, following the hostess. Other guests in the restaurant couldn't help but notice them as they passed by. They gave the appearance of the perfect little family. Steve couldn't help but feel a great sense of pride over that. He felt at that second that that's exactly who they were, his family. He knew this would be another moment that he would lock away and remember fondly.

Daryl stood up as they neared the table, seeing Anna first and then Steve holding Jenny's hand. His image of him was blown apart. By the way the kids described him he almost expected him to show up in fatigues with a crew cut and combat boots, wearing a big red cape, but there was nothing about him that showed his extensive military background, on the contrary, he looked like one of the guys that showed up at some of the auditions that Alyssa would attend. His thoughts were the same as the other patrons. He and Anna were perfect together. He felt a pain of jealously knowing the spot next to the Anna could have been his. It should have been his, but he'd lost it.

'_No_,' he thought sadly, '_he'd given it up_.'

Alyssa didn't get up, she sat and stared at them as they approached. Anna looked more beautiful than she ever had, and Steve she could only describe as charismatic, along with every other woman in the place. She too saw the wandering gazes as they passed neighboring tables. It was as if they were a simulated family that had been put together as a promotional stunt, she thought. They fit the part perfectly.

Daryl reached his hand out to Steve when they finally arrived. "Hi there, you must be Steve," he said politely. "I was actually expecting someone ten feet tall and wearing an Iron Man suit the way Jenny and Eric brag about you," he grinned.

Steve grinned, but it was more over the bragging part from Jenny and Eric. He was hoping the comment was genuine and not put on to suck up to him. One; because he hated being sucked up too, and second; he loved the idea of Jenny and Eric bragging about him.

He shook his hand, as Anna made the introductions. "Steve, this Daryl Salazar." She too was pleased over his words but knowing him better she also knew they were genuine, which surprised her. This was the moment she was stressing the most, but Daryl seemed to take the high road with that compliment.

"Good to meet you," Steve said, gripping his hand firmly and looking him straight in the eye. "I'm not sure about that description of me. A couple of weeks ago I was at mall picking out dresses for girls," he said with a grin that could only describe the horror of that idea to another man.

Daryl laughed, taking an instant liking to him, not sure that he would have. "Ah Jesus man, I wouldn't wish that on anyone." He jokingly pulled out a chair for him, "Sit down, you must still be traumatized by that ordeal."

"Stop," Anna chuckled, but she couldn't have been happier over the way the introduction went.

Alyssa wanted to roll her eyes over it. '_What_," she thought bitterly, '_are they going to become best buddies now?_' She hadn't counted on that. She was hoping to get Daryl back in Anna's good graces but not have him fall in 'man' love with the boyfriend too. She realized then she was on her own in this plan and had to cut him loose regardless. She was tired of him anyway. He'd become so needy it was exhausting. Anna had ruined him with all that bullshit affection. She didn't need him anyway. She needed to get herself in Steve's good graces and get his guard down, knowing full well what he thought of her. She didn't have to hear it from her sister, it was obvious. He tolerated her, only because she was Anna's sister. She'd have to put in an Academy Award winning presentation tonight if she wanted to win him over. She felt confident enough, after all, men were so predictable.

Alyssa smiled over at him as she stood up. "I'm glad you could make it, Steve. I think this will be a fun night. I've been looking forward to it all day. Anna said that you like steak, so I took the liberty of having the chef prepare a special cut of tenderloin. It's a twelve ounce aged tenderloin that I'm told will melt in your mouth."

"Alyssa?" Anna said surprised. "That was sweet of you."

"Thank you," Steve replied sincerely, "My mouth's watering just thinking about it."

"You're welcome," she motioned to the table that was set away from the other patrons so they could have some privacy. Some had already tried secretively to get a cell phone pick of Alyssa and some were just blatant about it. "Have a seat and let's start out with a good bottle of wine."

As the night progressed Steve was surprised at not only his liking of Daryl who turned out to be a pretty nice guy, but Alyssa also seemed to have settled down some. The conversation flowed nicely and wasn't surrounded by her, yet there was something odd about her demeanor that he couldn't quite put a finger on.

Anna leaned over closer to him as the server cleared away their dinner plates. "How was your steak?" she asked him.

"Mouthwatering, but not as much as you." He put a hand on her knee, leaning over whispering to her. "Maybe we can get Alyssa to take the kids again tonight."

Anna blushed slightly, feeling the touch on her knee ricochet throughout her whole body. "I think you should stay over regardless. The kids will be asleep and you're usually up before them anyway for your swim." She waited for his response.

He looked at her, a little surprised over the invitation that she threw at him. They had discussed it once or twice but he let her have the final say, not wanting to pressure her, but missing her at nighttime. He found that he slept better next to her than next door to her. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Ok. I'll set an alarm this time so I don't have to go out the window again."

"Go out the front door," she replied confidently. "I love you. I have nothing to hide." She put her hand over top of his. "Besides, I feel safer with you there. I think we all would. I miss you at night."

With those words spoken he couldn't imagine sleeping another night alone in his house. He glanced up and caught Alyssa staring at them, or was she staring at him? He felt a slight chill as her wicked glare quickly turned into a sweet smile, but no matter how good of an actress she thought she was, he could still see the animosity behind it. He didn't trust her, once again he didn't know what it was but he listened to that inner voice that seemed to always guide him in the right direction. He didn't believe for a second that this visit was for pure family time. She wanted something from this trip and he had a keen sense that she wasn't going to leave until she had it.

_**Author note: I wanted to let you know that it will be maybe two weeks before my next update. It's graduation season and I have two this year in my house, one from high school and one from college, so my time as you can imagine is occupied with the celebration plans. Sorry **__**, you should know it's hard for me too, knowing that I want to write and can't! But I'll get something out ASAP…and as always….Thanks for reading and the nice replies, always a motivator!**_


	14. Chapter 14

Steve came up the stairs with Anna, following her to her room after the kids had gone to bed a couple of hours earlier. She closed the bedroom door behind him as he walked toward the bed.

"When did you get this?" he asked surprised, pointing at the new queen size bed.

She smiled devilishly as she walked past him. "Do you like it?"

"It looks comfortable."

"It is, but that's not the best part." She went past him and stood on top of the mattresses. She began jumping up and down like it was a trampoline. "Notice anything different?" she whispered loudly to him as she landed on her butt.

"Yes. Your breasts are even more spectacular when you jump and down." He crawled up to her with a broad grin as she lay back with him, giggling over his remark, playfully smacking his arm.

"You are so bad."

He leaned down close to her face. "And you are so good for getting this new, extremely quiet bed." He kissed her once. "I'm going to reward you for your good deed."

She put her arms around his shoulders as her foot massaged the back of his leg. "What kind of reward?"

She felt his hand slide up her thigh and under her skirt. "Multiple rewards."

"Oh my," she sighed reaching her mouth up and kissing him.

He relaxed on top of her not feeling any of the apprehensions that he thought he would by staying the night for the first time with the kids in the house. He belonged here. He felt just as comfortable here as if he were in his own room.

Anna slid her hands inside his shirt, caressing his bare back, thrilled to have him in her bed. It was a new chapter in this relationship that seemed to have no boundaries and no end in sight. "I want you so bad," she whispered to him, which was an understatement to what she was actually feeling. "Make love to me, Steve."

He never knew such a simple request could ignite a fire in him so quickly, but it wasn't the words so much as they way they were spoken. It made him want her just as much. He admired the beautiful face as her hands caressed over his back in the most pleasing way, wishing he could speak his mind, but he was never one that could express himself in a way that would be considered romantic, not having the vocabulary for it, afraid he would stumble and ruin it. But he knew what he was feeling at the moment and anything he would have come up with wouldn't have done it justice anyhow.

The only words that came to mind were simple and straightforward, but they came from the heart.

"I love you, Anna." It felt good, it felt right but more than anything else it was satisfying. He followed it with a kiss.

She felt as if she were floating off the bed. Her heart surrendering to the kiss that expressed so much of the words he'd just spoken she thought she'd died and gone to heaven. It was by far the most romantic moment of her life.

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Steve lay on his stomach with his body partly draped over Anna as she lay on her back next to him. His rested on her shoulder as she glided her fingernails delicately up and down his back. He moaned softly over the feel of it. "You've got about a hundred years to stop that," he sighed.

She smiled, increasing the area up to his neck and down the back of his arm that was over her waist.

"You know what I was thinking?" Steve said, his voice mirroring the relaxing state that he felt.

"That I'm the best sex you've ever had and you can't get enough of me?"

He smiled, "Well ya, that's common knowledge." He sat up on his elbow looking at her. "But I was thinking we should take a trip to Disneyland."

Anna leaned her head back into the pillow, completely surprised by that suggestion. "Really?"

He nodded, "Jenny was talking about it tonight at dinner. She watches all those Disney movies and she was so little the last time she was there, and Eric would be old enough now to go on the big rides. I just think it would be fun. Plus, I've never been. I'd like to see what all the hype is about."

Anna's looked at him queerly. "You've never been to Disneyland?"

"Nope."

"It's the happiest place on earth," she smiled, quoting the Disney motto.

Steve laid his head back down on her, "I find that hard to believe. You should sell tickets to this spot right here." He wiggled his shoulders, telling her to continue his back rub. "The magic kingdom is nothing compared to your hands."

She smiled over that, indulging his request. "I think Disneyland would be a great idea. When were you thinking we should go?"

"Maybe around Christmas, or on Christmas." He sat up again on his elbow looking at her. "I know how it was for me that first Christmas after I lost my mom. I thought maybe if we took the kids someplace like that it might be a little easier for them. I'm hoping at least."

His worry over their well-being was touching. She knew that he loved her and also knew that if they did marry that he was well aware that Jenny and Eric were apart of the equation. She never questioned his loyalty to them as well, knowing it was there, but this was the first time that he actually spoke his mind when it came to what he thought was best for them, never before interfering in their lives without her asking him first. It just showed her how much he loved them too.

"I think you're right. That's a great idea." She agreed with him wholeheartedly, but even if she didn't, she wouldn't have shot down his idea. He was speaking like a father and to her it was the most important conversation they had so far.

He'd been hesitant, not sure where his boundaries lay with them, but she was clearly opening that door and inviting his opinions into their lives and better yet, accepting them. "Ok then," he smiled, "a Disney Christmas."

"We can go on one condition," Anna said.

He sat up again, "Oh yea, what's that?"

A teasing grin spread across her face. "You have to wear a pair of Mickey ears."

They both burst out laughing, not only over the joke of it, but just picturing it.

"Ok," he agreed, still chuckling, "but can they be camouflage Mickey ears? And can the name on the back be Commander?"

Anna laughed even harder, wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes, "Yes," she said trying to compose herself. "Anything my little musketeer wants."

He moved over on top of her. "I'll even wear them while we have sex. Would you like that?"

Anna lost it, as they both laughed uncontrollably, covering each other's mouths to keep the noise down. Tears streamed from the corner of her eyes as she looked up at him, picturing the ears and the little elastic strap under his chin.

They both heard a soft knock on the bedroom door and froze, hearing Jenny's voice calling for Anna.

"Oh shit," Steve said as reality took priority over the joking. He rolled off of her, reaching for his underwear and then slipping his dress pants from dinner back on as Anna grabbed her robe.

"Just a second honey," she called out, looking over at him as he zipped up and nodded, pointing toward the door that he was good.

They stood next to each other as she opened it, seeing the little girl standing there in her pink Cinderella nightgown with her hand over her stomach.

Jenny looked up at both of them, only slightly surprised to see Steve but not giving it a second thought. He was there most of the time before she went to bed anyway. "I don't feel so good," she said, looking it as well.

Anna squatted down so they were eye level, putting a hand on her forehead. "What doesn't feel well?"

"My tummy," she whimpered as her face contorted and she suddenly bent over. Her little body shuddered and then all at once she vomited on Anna's legs and feet.

"Oh my god!" Anna gasped as Steve reached down and picked up Jenny, carrying her into the bathroom as she started to cry.

"It's ok sweetie," he consoled, setting her down in front of the toilet just in time as she bent over and threw up again.

He reached over for a towel as Anna came in.

"Is she all right?!"

He looked over at her and then at her legs that were covered with vomit. "I got her, why don't you jump in the shower."

She put a hand on Jenny's back as the sick child bent over, holding the side of the toilet. "Do you feel better or is there more coming?"

Jenny leaned over against Steve, as he put an arm around her. "I think it's all gone," she whimpered.

He put the towel up to her mouth and wiped it off. "We'll just sit here for a minute just incase, ok?"

She nodded as he pulled her down on his lap while he sat back on his heels, holding her as she laid her head on his chest. Anna reached in and turned the shower on, seeing he had it under control.

He wiped the sweat off her face with another towel, "Are you feeling better?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore." Her voice stressed the weariness of the aftermath of not only being sick, but also haven been woken up so late.

He held onto her and stood up, going into the bedroom. He sat down on the bed, leaning back against the headboard with her on his lap again, his arm holding her securely in place.

"Don't go home," she said in a tiny voice.

"I'm won't," he replied, kissing her forehead.

Her sleepy eyes slowly opened and closed as she lay comfortably on him. "My daddy sang me the ducky song when I would go to sleep. Do you know the ducky song?" she asked him.

"No honey I don't." His hand gently caressed her little arm up and down. "How does it go?"

She sniffed, rubbing the palm of her hand over her eyes and started to sing barely above a whisper. "_Little ducky sitting in the water…little ducky doing what he outta, off he jumps from the lily pad, splash, splash, splash._"

Her little voice sang the words exactly the way he imagined a five year old would, but he could also clearly hear the sadness behind the tone, knowing she was missing her dad. She looked up at him with her blue eyes and he knew what she wanted. It was such a simple request and knowing how vulnerable she was at that second being five, sick and without her father for comfort he didn't hesitate.

"_Little ducky sitting in the water_…" he started forgetting the next line as she helped him along.

"_Little ducky doing what he outta_."

"_Doing what he outta_," he repeated.

She finished the last verse staring up at him.

"Ok, I think I got it," he smiled down at her. "_Little ducky sitting in the water. Little ducky doing what he outta, off he jumps from the lily_

_pad, splash, splash, splash._"

Jenny smiled sleepily and bent her head, resting against him "Again," she requested.

Anna stood at the door of the bathroom watching them together; her heart going out to both of them, but for different reasons. She felt a terrible ache for Jenny, knowing she was missing her father and probably her mother too at that moment. But for Steve her heart felt overjoyed at his willingness to put his awkwardness behind that she sure he felt all for the sake of a five year old. It was the second time that night he had shown his nurturing ability. She didn't think she could love him more than she did at that moment.

He started a fourth round as his voice quieted to a whisper and then silent, feeling Jenny's body fall into him, knowing she was asleep. He looked up as Anna approached the bed. He mistook her smile as being pleased that Jenny was asleep until she leaned over and kissed him.

"You are a wonderful man, do you know that?"

He shook his head at her and went to say something when she put her fingers over his mouth.

"Stop, don't try and cover it up by saying something clever and making light of this moment. What you do here for Jenny and Eric, it's selfless and in their eyes and mine, it's one of your top heroic moments in life." She removed her hand and continued to stare at him as he looked back at her, soaking in the words.

He didn't feel that way because it was them that gave him so much more in return. "I'll take care of you Anna," he whispered squeezing Jenny a little tighter, "all of you. Honestly, sometimes it scares me knowing how close I came to never having this in my life. If it wasn't for you and these kids, it could have passed me by. I don't want to go back to that life. I want this one."

She was wrong, a few minutes earlier she didn't think she could love him any more. She wondered if there was an end to it, hoping not.

She came around the other side of the bed and slid up next to him, putting an arm around Jenny and resting her head on his shoulder. "I think we'll do right by them."

"It'll get us ready for when we have one of our own," he blurted out, his honesty catching her completely of guard. It even surprised him a little when the thought first entered his mind, but the biggest shock was that he wasn't afraid, he did want it.

She looked up at him feeling the excitement and anticipation over that comment. "My, my Commander. You better be careful with that kind of talk. I might just fall in love with you."

He smiled over that, recalling how beautiful she looked at dinner and how proud he was to walk beside her, beside all of them. It brought his memory back to Alyssa and the uneasy feeling returned. "Speaking of family," he said, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb Jenny, "can I ask you a question?"

She snuggled up closer to him. "Of course."

"What do you think the reason is for your sister's visit?"

"To see me, Jenny and Eric."

"Do you think that's it?"

She sat up, looking at him. "Yes. Why?"

He didn't want to cause waves and potentially do the same thing that Alyssa was doing, putting unwanted thoughts into Anna's head, but he wanted to know if she had sensed anything like he had. "No reason, I was just wondering if you thought there was an ulterior motive to her being here."

Anna chuckled, laying her head back down on him. "Alyssa always has an ulterior motive. For everything."

That told him a lot but it also made him nervous that Anna was so used to Alyssa's trickery that she wouldn't see it if something was coming whatever it was, until it was too late; if there was anything at all. He could go round and round with this subject he thought and still come out empty handed, but something told him it wasn't going to end well. "Did she say how long she's staying?"

"No, but I can't imagine it's too much longer. She mentioned another movie or project or something she's starting pretty soon. Plus she'll want to get back to being pampered." Anna huffed, "She hates her new assistant. But I'm sure the girl that replaced me is just fine. I just knew Alyssa's wants and needs because I knew Alyssa. She'll catch on. I told her to be nice to her and she said she'd double my pay if I went back." She huffed again. "Fat chance."

"Do you miss LA? Do you miss all that excitement and glamour and…" he paused, knowing it must have been so much more exciting than doing laundry. "I don't know, meeting and being around famous people?"

She looked up at him with a firm expression, "No. Absolutely not."

"I heard Alyssa say at dinner that Hemsworth, not sure which one, I know there's two, but one of them was asking about you." He made a questionable face. "You have to be flattered by that."

She sat up again and turned her body towards him, looking down to see that Jenny was sound asleep, softly snoring. "Oh please," she rolled her eyes, "Hemsworth, shmemsworth," she put her arms around his neck. "I've got a real life Navy Seal. All that stuff that silly actors try to imitate in the movies, my man is the one that all those scripts are written about. The fact that you're sitting on my bed, now that's flattering."

She swore she saw his face blush as he smiled and bent his head. He looked back up at her, still grinning. "So this is your life now, here in Hawaii? You want to stay here?"

"What are you getting at Steve?" she asked, imitating his inpatients. "Spill it."

"You're starting to sound like me."

"I take that as a compliment."

I just want to know that this is where you want to be. If there's a chance that you may want to go back to LA, then I want to know. I'm not against it, but I want to know now, so its something I can prepare for when and if it happens."

"Would you go with me?"

He hesitated only for a second, not wanting to make that move, but if it meant her or LA, he'd take her, in LA, in a heartbeat. "You know I would."

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I love you for saying that, but let me put your mind at ease. This is my home now. I love it here. I want to live here and raise Jenny and Eric here like my brother wanted. There is nothing in LA for me anymore. Everything is here."

"What about Alyssa?"

"What about her?"

"She's your family too."

"And she can come and visit me anytime she wants." She bit her bottom lip over that remark. "Well, not anytime, but she can visit." She looked at him queerly. "Why all the questions? Did she say something to you?"

"No." he shook his head. "I just have this little voice in my head that pops up every once in a while when it senses a threat ,and I've been hearing that voice every time your sister is around."

"Is that voice right all the time?"

"No."

She felt just a slight bit of irritation over his statement of Alyssa, but knew he was on guard with her being around, how could he not, his only knowledge of her was negative. She guessed that little voice was just trying to look out for her. "I think she's really trying to over come what happened between she and I and Daryl. I know she feels bad about it. She's mentioned to me several times that she hopes we can put it behind us."

"Can you do you that?"

"She my sister. I love her. To be honest I'm not sure the forgiveness would have happened so quickly if it weren't for you. I mean that, but I also mean when I say that I do forgive her and I forgive Daryl. Please don't judge her on her past. If you can, just wipe the slate clean like I have and let's start over when it comes to Alyssa. Can you do that for me?"

Her request seemed so simple, especially since none of the things Alyssa had done had been directed toward him, except for that 'afraid of marriage' idea that she'd thrown out there, but even that ended up turning out to be a good thing between he and Anna. Maybe Alyssa was just looking out for her the same as he was. If she could forgive and forget then he'd put that voice to sleep and start clean. "I can do that. She did seem to be trying tonight at dinner to be extra nice."

"I know." Anna rolled her eyes, "sometimes she comes on too strong but she was sincere tonight, I know that."

He decided that maybe he had read into that look she'd given him at dinner just a little too much. "You know her better than I do." He leaned over and kissed her. "I'll be nice."

She smiled and laid her head back on his shoulder, putting her hand on Jenny's head and gently stroked her hair. "Thank you."

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Alyssa dipped the paintbrush into the can and reached up stroking the wall with the pink paint. She was going to score so many bonus points with Jenny over this. She felt a hint of jealousy knowing they loved Anna more, only because she kept them here, away from her in LA. But they would remember her as the fun one. She already had Eric in her back pocket after that trip to his school. She smiled to herself recalling how it was a huge success and how the kids huddled around him, giving him fist bumps over her presence. Maybe she could use Jenny and Eric as leverage to get Anna back to LA. Nothing beats toys to a kid, and she would give them anything they wanted.

She stood on the ladder by Jenny's window and looked down, seeing Steve come from around the corner of his house pushing a lawn mower. He bent over checking the gas level and then stood up grabbing ahold of the cord and pulling it out. She focused on his muscles that strained as he did it again and again in the sleeveless t-shirt he had on. To her dismay the machine finally started and the show was over, but she continued to watch him as he made his way around the yard. She pictured him the night before in his suit and felt her mouth water over the memory of it. He was every bit as handsome as any man she'd bedded in Hollywood, but what was most entertaining about him was the challenge. She felt she'd made a good impression the night before, laying the groundwork toward a seduction that she felt comfortable not only pursuing but also completing.

She watched as he took the last turn on the front yard and knew this would be a perfect opportunity as her head began to spin out a plan. Anna was at the doctor with Jenny and Eric was at school. She'd left Daryl back at the hotel for obvious reasons, needing a break from him anyway.

She came off the ladder and opened the bedroom window.

"Hey!" she yelled down to him. "Steve!"

He heard his name and looked over toward Anna's house and then saw her up in Jenny's room. He put a hand up, waving to her.

"Do you think I could get your opinion on something please?" she yelled down to him.

"What?" he yelled up, both hands still on the mower as he paused from going around to the backyard.

"Paint color. Not sure if this room is too pink or not."

"I don't think I'm the person to ask about a girls room color." He yelled up. "My decorating skills are worse than my sewing skills." he smiled.

Alyssa laughed. "That's what makes you so perfect for this; a first impression from someone with no opinion." Her voice changed to one that he would hear Jenny use when she really wanted something from him. "Pleeeasssse. I just don't want to mess this up."

He recalled Anna's words the night before telling him to wipe the slate clean for her sake, which was the same as asking him to try and build a relationship with her sister. He decided this would be a good place to start. "All right," he gave in, walking toward the house.

She started down the ladder pleased over his acceptance and then stopped, scanning the area around her and recalling a scene she had once seen in a movie, getting a brilliant idea in her head. She went back up the ladder, dipping her finger in the paint and splashing a few spots on her face knowing it would look cute and then positioned herself just so, hearing him come up the stairs.

He came in the room and saw her on the ladder in a pair of cut offs that he recognized from Anna's wardrobe. It was one of his favorite pairs that she wore only because they were extra short and the fray that hung off of them looked sexy as hell on her long legs. He didn't feel the same thrill with Alyssa and turned his eyes away to the room walls for which his purpose had been summoned.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked, toying with the paintbrush in her hand.

"It's pink," he declared with a little chuckle. "Defiantly pink."

"Is it too pink?" she asked, shifting her body on the ladder trying to get his attention on her now. She lifted one foot up on a higher step knowing the short shorts would ride up her thigh even more.

He shrugged, "I don't think so. I think Jenny will like it."

'_What is he blind_,' she thought irritably as she climbed up the ladder joining her other foot, showing off her backside that she had been told was one of her greatest features. "I'm trying hard not to get any on the ceiling," she said, reaching up with the paintbrush, "but it's really hard. Do you think I should do the ceiling too, or would that be too much?" She glanced over her shoulder at him.

He looked up at her and then at the ceiling where she was currently working. "Maybe. I think I have some ceiling paint in my garage if you need to touch it up."

"Ok," she felt she was getting nowhere with him, knowing her time in this situation was running out quickly. She needed a distraction that would make her seem vulnerable, wondering how she could fall off the ladder and make it look like an accident until another thought crossed her mind in that split second that was brilliant in her opinion.

She went to reach up again and shook the ladder just a bit, steading herself knowing he would reach out for it as well, which to her delight he did.

"Whoa," he laughed grabbing one of the legs as the paintbrush in her hand fell at his feet.

"Oh geez," Alyssa chuckled as if laughing at her carelessness, pointing down. "Steve, would you please hand that to me?"

As he bent over she shrieked once again and shook the ladder, purposely tipping the half full can of paint over as it poured out exactly where she had planned.

He heard the shriek as he squatted down to get the brush and then felt the cool, thick liquid hit his head and then slide down his back.

"Oh my god!" Alyssa yelled out as if she were mortified over the accident. "Steve! I'm so sorry! I slipped!"

She came down the ladder as he went to his knees, afraid to move and get it everywhere.

"Ah shit." He felt a towel on the back of his neck as she tried to wipe it off. He looked up at her shocked face as she smiled, biting her bottom lip. Streams of it had run down his head to his face.

She chuckled as she tried to speak, scanning his face and body, "You look pretty in pink," she joked.

The situation was so comical that he couldn't help but laugh, holding out his hands that were covered after trying to prevent it from getting in his eyes. "Now I think the room is too pink."

Alyssa busted up and knelt down next to him, wiping his face off. "I'm so glad you have a good sense of humor."

"Could be worse," he smiled. "It could have been full."

"Good point," she smiled back. She sat back on her knees and stared at him. "You have got to get in the shower."

She stood up and took his arm as he carefully rose to his feet. He slipped his shoes off that had been standing in the remaining puddle of paint on the plastic tarp. "Careful," she said, guiding him out of the room and down the hall to Anna's bathroom. "Don't touch anything."

"I'm trying not too," he laughed. "I can't see."

"Just follow me. I'll take care of you." She guided him into the bathroom and reached in, turning the shower on. "Here, take this off." She pulled up on the bottom of his shirt, carefully lifting it over his head, staring at the broad chest and shoulders in front of her, wanting to rub her hands over the firm body that looked even better than she had imagined. "Do I have paint on me too?" she asked innocently, knowing her face was covered only because she had purposely made it happen.

Steve smiled and reached up using his finger, not touching but pointing to her blemishes. "You have it all over you too."

"Shit," she moaned, "this is a mess. I'm so sorry." She guided him inside the warm shower, grabbing the washcloth off the counter and walking in after him.

He tilted his head back under the water, letting it rinse his hair, feeling it run down over his shorts. "It was an accident. It'll wash out." He felt the washcloth on his chest and looked down, seeing Alyssa with a bar of soap in one hand and the other gliding up and down his body, cleaning off the paint.

For just a split second he was reminded of Anna when they had first met, with her long blond hair that he used to love running his fingers through. The vision before him and the feel of her hand as she glided the soapy rag up and down his body made him miss her, wishing it were she who was standing there with him and not Alyssa.

He was caught up in the moment of the other twin when he realized the innocent motive had begun to become a little too uncomfortable for him. He reached up and gently took her hand that held the rag. "I got it. Thanks, but I got it."

"Oh," she pretended to be embarrassed and shy over her intentional attempt to seduce him, bending her head. "Sorry." She looked at his wet shorts getting a clear visual of what was beneath them as they clung to his body. He was too good of a specimen to be wasted on her innocent sister, she thought, knowing Anna probably never took advantage of what this man could offer sexually if given the chance with the right woman.

She saw a scar on his lower abdomen as his shorts hung below his waist and pointed at it. "How did you get that?"

Steve looked down wondering why in the hell she was still in the shower with him, trying to find a way politely but firmly to tell her to get the hell out. "I got it in basic training," he replied dryly. "Um, I think maybe you should go get in the other shower." He laughed nervously over the odd situation. "I can handle this."

Alyssa rolled her eyes, "Oh god. I'm just making a fool of myself left and right aren't I?" she stepped out on the rug that just outside the shower. "I guess you're not five are you?" She stood there just a couple of seconds longer letting the mist from the shower cover her face and body, knowing her shirt was becoming just as clingy as his shorts and without a bra her nipples were also becoming apparent.

Steve reached over and slid the shower door closed. "No worries, but we better get that mess in the bedroom mopped up before Anna gets home or she'll have both our asses. She already has one sick kid on her hands and doesn't need anymore stress."

Alyssa rolled her eyes sarcastically this time and shook her head over his mention of Anna. She didn't reply but just walked out of the bathroom closing the door a little too abruptly as she did. "Anna!" she mumbled angrily. "What a waste of his time." She came down the hall and back into Jenny's room. The paint was on the tarp so the mess would be minimal. She looked back over her shoulder at the direction of his shower and growled. She couldn't believe she had failed, although she did see him at one point looking at her in a way that could have been construed as seductive. She wondered then if it was because they were in Anna's house. He might consider it dangerous, knowing she'd be home at any minute. "That must be it," she decided, knowing it couldn't be that he just simply didn't want her. That never happened. In the end, they always wanted her.

She heard the SUV and looked out the window seeing it pull in the driveway. She could still hear Steve in the shower and quickly folded up the tarp, hiding the mess and then ran into the other bathroom. She turned the water on in the sink and quickly scrubbed off the visible paint on her face and shuffled out of her clothes, using Eric's bathrobe on the back of the door to cover up her naked body. She heard Anna and Jenny come in the house as she wrapped a towel around her dry hair, giving the image she had just got out of the shower. She came down the steps as Anna came walking down from the kitchen.

"Oh hi!" Alyssa said as if surprised to see her. "Where's Jenny?"

Anna pointed over her shoulder, "In the kitchen. She's feeling better. The doctor thinks it was just a 24hour bug."

"I can't believe you're back so soon," Alyssa said trying to pretend as if she were nervous in an innocent way. "I thought it took at least a couple of hours for a doctor visit."

"No," Anna shook her head. "We got in and out pretty quick." She looked up just then and pointed, hearing the shower turn off. "Is someone in the shower upstairs?" assuming it was Daryl.

"Oh," Alyssa smiled, "um, yea. Steve is." The confused look on her twins face was exactly what she was hoping for. She pulled out all her acting skills and started to laugh nervously. "You aren't going to believe what happened." She tied the robe again as if reminding her she was wearing one and naked underneath. "I was painting and he was helping me on the ladder and the paint," she laughed, "the whole thing fell on top of him. It was everywhere. He had to take a shower. We both did." She tilted her head and smiled, shrugging. "It was really funny."

Anna stared at her as if that was the most insane explanation she had ever heard, wondering why Steve would be up there in the first place, knowing she wasn't home. Plus her sister's odd behavior was sending her mixed signals left and right. She felt her heart sink to her stomach having played out this scene once before, not with this exact situation, but the ending was beginning to sound very familiar. She ignored any reply and went past her taking the stairs.

She went past Jenny's room and glanced inside, not seeing a mess like had been described to her. Her head began to feel dizzy and she felt sick to her stomach but knew it wasn't anything that she had caught from Jenny.

She came in her room just as Steve came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and drying his hair off with another one.

"Hey," he smiled, glad to see her. "How's Jenny?" was his first and foremost concern before the explanation of why he was in her shower.  
"She's fine." She was finding it difficult to breathe, "What happened here?"

Steve laughed as he came toward her. "I had about a half gallon of paint dropped on my head." He leaned in and kissed her. "You missed the show. It would have been a good picture." He didn't notice her still unresponsive behavior as he pointed toward her shower. "I tried to clean up as much as I could in there. Would you mind running over to my house and getting me some clothes? Mine are done for."

She stood there and stared at him as he sat down on the bed. Her eyes instantly scanned the sheets and covers behind him, trying to decipher if it was in the same condition as they had left it that morning or if it was changed.

"Anna?" he said, as she stood there saying nothing. "What's wrong?"

She turned without speaking and went into the bathroom, seeing his shorts, shirt and underwear lying on the floor of the shower. She picked up the shirt and examined it, wringing it out and seeing a stream of pink color run down the drain. She wet her dry lips and turned, running right into him.

He stared down at her now, knowing exactly what she was thinking. He knew he should have been angry at her for not trusting him and having to search out the evidence, but they had both been deceived once before and both had been shocked over it, not expecting the blow. He took a second and had to put himself in the same scenario if the tables were turned and he walked in on she and Daryl. It changed his attitude in a heartbeat.

"Look at me," he said calmly.

She slowly looked up at him, feeling slightly ashamed yet still scared that he might say something that would shatter her heart into a million pieces.

He put a hand around her waist and one under her chin so he could speak to her as if wanting her to hear every word he said. "I was outside mowing and she yelled down that she wanted me to see if Jenny's room was too pink. I came up, we talked for a minute about the color. The ladder shifted and she dropped the paintbrush, when I bent over to get it the paint tipped over on me. I took a shower and cleaned up." He looked her right in the eye. "End of story."

Anna hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath. She let it out slowly seeing the truth behind not only his calm explanation but in the way he delivered it. She dropped her forehead down on his chest, knowing she'd been wrong for thinking the worse. "Steve," she began regretfully when he lifted her by the chin again so she was facing him.

He interrupted her apology, with a kiss; his way of telling her to drop it. Once again he was more concerned with the important things. "What did the doctor say about Jenny?" he asked again.

She smiled up at him. "He said she's fine. He thinks it was just a 24hour bug."

"Good," he grinned. "Now will you please run over to my house and get me some clothes, or I might be forced to wear one of your sundresses home."

Anna giggled, reaching up with her mouth and kissing him. "That might be more entertaining to see than the pink paint." She felt foolish now for even considering him capable of the infidelity.

He playfully smacked her on the butt. "Move it. I've still got my yard and your yard to mow."

She shrieked and kissed him once more before going out the door, closing it behind her.

He stretched out on the bed, waiting for her return.

Anna came down the stairs feeling the complete opposite of what she felt when she had gone up.

"Everything ok," Alyssa said, coming out of Jenny's door and standing at the top of the stairs. She put on some clothes of Anna's from the laundry room.

"Yes," Anna replied happily. "Why?"

Alyssa shrugged, "I don't know, you just seemed a little…weird about the whole thing."

Anna sighed, "I was just worried about the carpet is all. No big deal. I'm going to run over and get Steve some clothes. Keep an eye on Jenny for me, will ya?" She went the rest of the way down the stairs and out the front door, not waiting for a reply.

Alyssa looked over in the direction of Anna's room staring at the closed door. She'd heard only a brief part of what they were saying to each other, the rest were hush tones, but whatever it was there certainly wasn't any doubt in Anna's mind that what had transpired was exactly what had transpired. She gritted her teeth and let out a low growl. "_I need to turn it up_," she thought, being reminded of a certain Director that had rejected her for a part. It took some doing and a little extra effort on her side, but in the end even he caved, not only giving her the part, but he also gave her a new Lexus for the best orgasm he'd ever had.

Steve will cave too she thought, assured of her abilities. She just needed to turn up the heat.

* * *

Anna entered in Steve's room and went straight up to his dresser. She opened the top drawer and took out a pair of boxer briefs and then closed and opened the next drawer down, taking out the first t-shirt on top of the pile. His shorts were in the next drawer and she selected a pair of black basketball ones that she particular enjoyed the way they fit on him. She went in his closet next and surfed through his shoes on the floor, picking a pair of Nikes that he wore often.

She stood up and stopped before going out seeing his Navy uniform hanging on a special hook on the wall. She recalled seeing it for the first time when she and Eric had followed him up here at Danny's encouragement. She shook her head amazed at how long ago that seemed, but in reality it was really only a few months. They had come so far since then.

She unzipped the bag it was in and ran her hand over the medals, admiring each one again. They were inspiring to say the least. She recalled him walking toward her at the funeral for John wearing this and how impressive he looked. He wore it better than any man she'd ever seen in uniform before. He was tall, dark and handsome, but he was also brave, strong, but above all honest, realizing then that that's how he always lived his life inside or outside the uniform.

She zipped it back up and stood staring at it, feeling guilty once again for even thinking that he would do anything devious or conniving with Alyssa. She couldn't believe those thoughts even entered her mine. '_Why,_' she thought. '_How could you even think that way about him?'_

Her body froze as the conversation with Alyssa came back to her.

It was her, she realized. Alyssa put those thoughts in her head before she even went upstairs. The robe. The way she explained the situation, acting as if she were hiding something. "Acting," she said bitterly. "More like overacting." Alyssa wanted her to think something had happened between she and Steve. She knew her twin too well to ignore the signs any longer. It was the same as her first day there when she warned her that he wouldn't want to marry her, putting more unwanted thoughts in her head, knowing it would cause havoc, but she failed, the same as she did this day.

'_But why,_' she thought, '_what would be the purpose?_' She shook her head, not wanting to believe that her sister would want to sabotage another relationship she was in, especially one where she knew good and well she was happy. She wondered then if she wanted him, or if she just couldn't stand that she was happy. Alyssa always had to have the upper hand, always.

She came out of the closet, feeling saddened, but more than anything else, angry.

* * *

Anna came back in her house and straight up the stairs, going past Jenny's room, seeing Alyssa, Jenny and Eric inside. He still had his backpack on his shoulders from school.

"Hi," she said to him, glaring at her sister.

"Aunt Alyssa said we could come spend the night again at her hotel," he announced excitedly.

"No," Anna replied flatly.

"Why not?!" he and Alyssa both said simultaneously.  
"Because I said so."

"That's no reason," Eric argued.

Anna walked down the hall to her room carrying Steve's clothes. "I got a call from your teacher after the last visit, you fell asleep in class. There's my reason." She slammed the door closed to her bedroom.

Steve sat up on the bed with the towel still wrapped around his waist. "What was that all about?"

She dropped his clothes on the bed, standing before him. "You know what? You keep right on with that little voice in your head." She leaned over and kissed him. "I love that you have a sixth sense about my sister that I seem to be in denial over." She didn't wait for a reply from him and turned around going back out the door. "Eric!" she yelled out as she went down the stairs. "I want you to help Steve in the yard and then I want you to start your homework. Dinner will be ready in about an hour."

"What did I do?" he asked sarcastically, standing at his bedroom door.

She stopped and looked back up the stairs. "Nothing," she paused, taking a breath, not wanting to take her frustration on her sister out on him, "its not fair that Steve has to mow our lawn when you are perfectly capable."

Steve came walking by his door carrying his shoes, "C'mon," he said, "I bet you a buck you can't start the mower on the first pull."

"Five!" Eric said, wiggling out of his backpack letting it fall on the ground, following Steve down the stairs. He gave an Anna an unpleasant look as he went by.

Alyssa appeared at the top of the stairs. "I think I'll finish this tomorrow. I have to get back to the hotel. I have some calls to make."

Anna stared at her as she ascended the stairs. "How long are you staying?"

Alyssa stood on the last step looking down at her twin. "I said I'm leaving."

"I mean on the island." She didn't try to hide her bitterness, hoping it was noticeable.

Alyssa tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at her sister. "It sounds like you are trying to get rid of me. I can't believe you would be so rude."

Anna stood her ground, searching her twin's eyes for the deception. "Steve and I were talking about coming to California for Christmas so it's not like you won't see the kids again soon. It's just become…disruptive. We had a nice routine and things are getting out of control."

Alyssa took a step down so they were face to face. "Is it me that's making things out of control Anna, or is it you that's losing control?"

She refused to take the bait and start a confrontation with Jenny just upstairs. "Your keys and purse are on the table by the door," Anna replied coolly.

"Ok…I'm leaving." A smile slowly spread across Alyssa's face. "Make sure you give everyone a good night kiss for me." She turned and very leisurely walked to her purse and keys, gathered them up and walked out the door.

Anna let out a deep breath, wetting her dry lips. It was the first time she could remember ever standing down Alyssa. It felt pretty good.

* * *

Alyssa got in her car and angrily tossed her purse across the seat. "That little bitch," she mumbled. "Who does she think she is talking to me like that!"

She backed up looking over toward the house as she pulled away. No one could hear her yet she still screamed out of frustration. "No one tells me what to do! You hear me Anna! No one!"

She stepped on the gas and tore off down the street, squealing her tires and barely making the yellow light onto the main road, not slowing down for it and not caring if she ran it. She was livid. She had failed. She knew then that there was no way Anna was coming home to LA with her. Not that she wanted her too anymore. She'd grown quite the attitude over the past year and needed to be put in her place.

Alyssa smiled devilishly. If Anna wanted her gone then fine, but she decided to leave the island with a bang. If her sister was going to treat her like that then she deserved what was coming.

* * *

Eric pulled out on the handle of the mower and groaned when it wouldn't start. "Damn it!" he growled.

"Hey!" Steve scolded him. "What kind of talk is that?"

"It's not a bad word really."

"Who says?"

"My Aunt Alyssa said it's not a bad word anymore. It used to be but now words like shit and fuck are bad words."

Steve leaned over bracing his hands on his knees, looking him in the face. "Are you kidding me with that? You say another cuss word and not only are you not going on that camping trip but you'll be grounded and doing chores instead. You got me?!"

Eric stared at him, not recalling ever being disciplined like that before by him. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen him that angry.

"Answer me!"

Eric nodded. "Ok."

"Ok what?"

"Ok, I won't talk like that anymore," his voice barely audible.

Steve stood back up staring down at him. He wanted to give him one his playful smacks in the head and tell him to get the mower moving, but knew if he made light of the situation then that's exactly what Eric would do. He had to stand firm and show him meant it. "Talking like that doesn't make you a man. Acting like a gentleman makes you a man."

Eric tried to decipher those words and put them to meaning when Steve reached over and started the mower. "Maybe you better let me do the man's work."

Eric held firmly onto the handle of the mower. "I can do it." He looked up at him not wanting to disappoint him of all people. "I'm sorry I said that. I can do it."

Steve let go stepping back. "Ok, don't forget to empty the bag every once in a while."

"I won't." He grinned sheepishly as he began pushing the mower across the yard.

Steve crossed his arms and watched as he struggled to push the heavy mower but didn't back down, as if he were determined to do the job even more so now, maybe as proof that he was a man. Just then he turned and glanced back over at him. Steve knew that he was looking for recognition. He smiled and gave him a thumbs up, giving him what he deserved. He realized just then that they had an altercation that probably every father and son had at least one time in their life. He felt positive that he and Eric both had learned something from it. Eric wasn't his son so to speak, but he was just as proud of him if he had been.

Eric gripped the handle even tighter and pushed on. The thumbs up told him that Steve wasn't mad at him anymore. He was determined to show him that he wasn't a bad mouth kid. He was a man. He wanted to show him and prove to him that they were equal. He wanted to be just like him.

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Steve stretched his arm out and dug down deep into the water. He pushed himself harder and harder trying to get his frustrations out over the orders to report for duty that had come in an email that morning from his CO, a heads up to the certified letter that he knew would be arriving next. It was the first time he could remember not wanting to report for duty and considered revoking his Reserve Duty obligation in the future. It would mean his Navy life would come to an end.

He stopped swimming and treaded water, looking out at the vast ocean as the morning sun sparkled off the waves, partly blinding him.

He wasn't sure he was ready to give up the Navy just yet, but he also wasn't ready to leave Anna and the kids for three weeks either. He used to enjoy these breaks from the everyday life and looked forward to getting on a ship and putting his uniform back on, but now things had changed. His life wasn't just his anymore. He had a responsibility to others. But he also had a responsibity to his country and without that then there wouldn't be the other.

He laid down in the water again and began the final stretch towards home, counting his blessings that he was only going for three weeks and would only be a couple hundred miles off shore, safe and sound on an aircraft carrier, whereas many of his comrades were fighting in the Middle East for months at a time, away from their wives and children. He decided then that three weeks didn't sound so bad after all. He'd remind Anna of that too when he told her.

As he swam toward shore he saw her standing in the grass wearing a blue sundress that was one of his favorites. His heart began to race but for a different reason other than the mile and a half swim. She had that ability. As he came out of the water she stood her ground just smiling at him.

"Hi," he said scooping up his towel. "If I would have know there was a beautiful woman standing in my yard, I would have come back sooner."

She took a step back towards the house for every one he took towards her, never wavering from the smile that eased into a seductive grin.

He chuckled at her demeanor pretending to run at her and then stopped a few feet away as she put her hands up and then her finger to her mouth, as if telling him to be quiet.

"Are you being cautious or mysterious," he grinned, enjoying this game she had going.

She refused to speak and motioned with her finger to follow him as she went up the steps and into his house through the backdoor.

He looked over not seeing the kids, assuming they were still back at the house. It was Saturday, maybe they were still asleep. They all had been when he snuck out earlier to go for a swim.

He followed her willingly, eager to see what she was up to. As he came in the house she was leaning against the counter with the bottom of the dress gathered in one hand, high enough to show him that she had nothing on under it. The other hand stroking the inside of her thigh, all the while her eyes scanning his body in a way that expressed how badly she wanted him.

Now he knew what she was up to. He went to her and she bent her head as if shy over her antics. He loved that she could be so enticing and so timid at the same time. It was a major turn on and one of the characteristics about her that he loved the most.

He was aching for her by this point but still needed the verbal green light. "Where are the kids?' he asked quietly, praying his assumption was correct.

"Safe," she whispered.

It was what he wanted to hear. He braced both hands on the counter on either side of her body and bent down just slightly, searching out those perfect lips and kissed her.

She raised her head, taking part in it as he leaned his body into her. Her hands followed the path up his chest, feeling the muscles contract knowing he was enjoying her as she cupped the back of his neck, pulling him in deeper.

The kiss was more aggressive than usual but he was too caught up in the feel of her to notice the real difference, or the slight variance in the hair color. Other than that she looked and felt just like Anna.

Alyssa was elated at not only the game in which she was exceeding at, but also the kiss that he was exceeding at. It was far better than she had imagined. The game shifted and she wanted him now more for herself, rather than to teach her bitchy twin a lesson. She felt his body push into her as she opened her leg for him, feeling his hand slide up her thigh and under the dress around to her backside as he cupped her buttock, lifting her ever so slightly. She let out a soft moan wanting him to walk away from this aching for her not Anna.

He broke from the kiss and moved down to her neck, wanting her so bad by this point he could hardly contain himself. Her little seduction that she was playing worked like a charm. He slid the strap of her dress down over her shoulder, kissing the bare skin as his hand glided over her breast. He wondered how he was going to leave this behind for three weeks without going completely mad. She had him wrapped around her little finger in this relationship and he couldn't have been happier.

His kisses moved back up to her lips, his voice husky through the whispering of words just before he kissed her again. "I want you so bad, Anna."

Alyssa moaned over that heartfelt expression, knowing she had him now. He was all hers to do what she pleased. Her aggression increased as her want for him went through the roof. She loved being in control. She broke from the kiss but continued to cover him with them as she slid down his body, coming to rest on her knees before him. By the time she was done with him he'd be screaming her name. She'd make sure he'd never look at Anna again the same way.

Steve braced both hands on the counter again as she slid down before him. He felt light headed over the anticipation of what she was about to do as her hands worked on the string of his shorts. She teased him ever so slightly by stopping just short of pulling them down and kissed his belly, her caresses roaming up and over his chest. He put his hand over one of hers, moving with her until he grasped it and bent just enough to bring it to his lips and kissed the back of it.

He turned it over to touch the spot on her wrist that he knew she liked, looking at the delicate area as he brought it up to his mouth. Just before he closed his eyes to kiss the spot she liked he froze, staring at the flawless area just below her palm.

He bent it back just slightly to get a better view, confused, knowing of the scar on her left hand from when she cut her herself as a child, but it wasn't there. He looked down at the woman at his feet and all at once it hit him.

He grabbed the back of her hair that was the same style but the color he noticed now was off. He tilted her head back, looking down at her face. Her eyes. The color and the shape were the same, but he knew immediately that it wasn't Anna looking up at him.

She knew in that second by the rough behavior that he had figured it out.

She smiled up at him. "If you like it rough. I can play that game too."

She went to pull down on his shorts when he stepped back away from her; his face still in shock over the realization that it wasn't Anna. "Alyssa," he said barely audible.

She rose to her feet slowly coming toward him, letting her voice set the tone. "Look at me Steve. It's ok. It'll be our little secret. You know you want me and I can make you feel so good that you won't even have the ability to think about her." She began to slide the dress off her shoulders. "You can do anything you want with me."

Her suggestion sickened him, or maybe it was the guilt that he had let her manipulate him this far without knowing it was his Anna. If he hadn't seen the missing scar, he thought, feeling revolted over the idea of knowing he was that close to having sex with her. His anger over that tripled. He reached out and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her toward the front door.

She struggled against the tight grip that hurt. "Let go of me!"

He wiped her around and held her by both arms, pulling her up close to his face, never in his life had he wanted to hit a woman, but he wanted to knock her across the room. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" he said between gritted teeth, shaking her. "You think you can just take whatever you want? You think you're something special?" he shook her again. "Let me tell you something Alyssa, you're nothing! You're nothing but a piece of fucking trash." He grabbed her face with his hand, holding her steady as he stared angrily down at her. "If you do anything to hurt Anna or those kids, I swear to god on my life, I'll kill you!" he shoved her toward the door, not caring that she slammed into it. "Get the fuck out of my house!"

She pulled up on the strap of her dress, glaring back at him. "You just made a huge mistake," she warned him.

He lunged at her, wanting to scare her. "Get out!"

She heard the anger in his voice but it was his expression that frightened her the most. She turned and opened the door, slamming it closed behind her. '_He'll pay for that_,' she thought furiously as she stomped across the yard. '_He has no idea how bad he'll pay for that.'_

He stood in the middle of the room wiping his hands up and down his face, trying to recall what had just happened. How could he have not known it wasn't Anna? The guilt and humiliation from that was staggering. What if he'd gone through with it? It would have been the end of their relationship, there would be no way she would have forgiven him. He wouldn't have blamed her, even if he had been tricked. He saw the signs he just ignored them. The kiss wasn't Anna's. He knew that, yet he let himself be controlled by her.

He looked toward the door Alyssa just vacated through, trying to decide if he should tell Anna or not. He felt like it was a lie keeping it from her, but it also scared him that she'd partly blame him for not recognizing it wasn't her. He'd kissed and touched Alyssa in places that he vowed to himself he'd never touch another woman again, other than Anna. He was torn over the dishonesty of keeping it to himself, and the thought of losing her if he did tell, especially what had happened the day before. Would she believe him a second time?

Alyssa stormed across the yard toward her car, rubbing the red marks on her arms where he had grabbed her. "That bastard!" she grumbled. "I'm going to fucking ruin him!" She was almost to her car when she stopped, glancing over at Anna's house, smiling wickedly.

Anna came running down the hall from the kitchen when she heard Alyssa screaming for her. She met her half way and was stunned over the hair that was identical to hers, but more concerned by the frantic look on her sister's face as if she'd seen a ghost.

"What's wrong?!

"Oh Anna," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around her and holding on tightly. "Oh god Anna, it was awful! Awful!" she pretended to be on the verge of hysteria.

"Alyssa!" She grabbed her by the arms trying to get her under control, pulling back so she could see her face.

"Ouch!" she cried out over the grip on her arms. "That's where he grabbed me," she cried. "It still hurts."

"Who? Who grabbed you?" She assumed it was a crazed fan like the one she had encountered, but knew it couldn't have been the same one. He was going to be locked up for at least two years. She thought of Steve at that moment, hoping he was back from his swim, feeling the fear that her sister was.

"Oh Anna," she bellowed, using all her skills to pull up fake tears.

"I need to get Steve." She moved toward the table by the door where her cell phone was when Alyssa grabbed her hand, pulling her back.

"No!" she shook her head. "Not him!" she wailed. "Please Anna, not him."

"Why? If someone attacked you we need to tell Steve."

She let go of her and sniffed, wiping her hand over her face. "Because…" she gasped as if having a hard time catching her breath. "because it was him that grabbed me."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I came over to show you my new hair cut and he was out front. At first he thought I was you and then he invited me inside his house. He said you were still in bed." She shook her head as fresh tears welled in her eyes. "Once inside he was like a different person. He kept commenting on how much we looked alike and then the next thing I knew he ran his hand through my hair and said something about the way I looked at him the other day in the shower." She looked up at her twin. "And then he kissed me."

Anna stared at her, trying to take in everything she was saying but too stunned to speak.

"When I pushed him away, he got angry and grabbed me. I think he felt humiliated like he did the other day when I wouldn't…" she paused looking away as if ashamed. "when I wouldn't get in the shower with him after the paint spilled." She looked up at her. "I never led him on Anna. Ever!"

She heard the words coming out of her mouth but she couldn't actually believe what she was hearing. "What happened next?"

Alyssa gulped in air. "He pushed me up against the wall and tried to put his hands up my dress, but I screamed and I think…I think it startled him because he backed away and that's when I ran for the door and got out." She saw in her face exactly what she wanted to see, concern and disbelief.

"You poor thing," Anna consoled her. "I can't believe he would do such a thing."

"I know," Alyssa cried, assured she had her locked in. "I can't either. It was horrible."

"No Alyssa," she said passively. "You know what's horrible about all of this?"

She shook her head, sniffing. "What?"

Anna's look of concern faded as her eyes narrowed in to two angry slits. Her voice mirrored the rage that was welling up inside of her. "I'll tell you what's horrible. It's your lame ass attempt to try and convince me that Steve did any of those things. You really need to brush up on your acting skills and leave the plot lines to the writers, because not only are you full of crap, but you're a shitty actress too."

Alyssa's first reaction showed pain trying to show that it hurt that she didn't believe her, but after a few seconds of looking into the unwavering stare from the person across from her she dropped the whole acting routine. "Fine," she replied, her voice showing no signs of the fear she had portrayed, "You may not believe me," she smiled cunningly, "but others will."

Anna felt her blood run cold over that remark, knowing what she could do to Steve's career and life if she even accused him of it. The media would have a field day with this, and Alyssa knew how to work them to her advantage. They loved her for it.

"And to make matters worse," Alyssa continued, assured she was driving the nail in the casket. "I'm pretty sure I saw some…" she sighed, glaring at her. "How should I say…inappropriate behavior with him around Eric."

That drove the nail in the casket all right, but not in the way that Alyssa had hoped.

Anna lunged forward and grabbed her around the neck with her hand, throwing her back against the wall, holding her there with the tight grip around her throat. The treat was real and she knew without a doubt that her sister would do it and not think twice about the consequences to any of them in the process. She wanted to squeeze the life out of her, but instead she replied with a stern warning.

"If you ever, do anything to harm Eric, Jenny or Steve," she squeezed tighter seeing the disbelief and shock on Alyssa's face. "I'll ruin you. And you know I can. Don't be so naïve to think that the repercussions won't be just as damaging to you. I know about your affairs and all the skeletons you've tried to lock away and hide. By the time I'm done with you, not only will you never see the lights of a camera again, but not one person in Hollywood will want to work with you. The difference between your threat to Steve and mine is that I've got the proof."

Alyssa tried to swallow but just trying to breathe was difficult. She stood frozen, never seeing this side of her twin before. The threat was real, that she could see clearly in her eyes. She wasn't sure what proof Anna had but decided quickly that it wasn't worth risking her career over. She knew what one bad publicity stunt could do, she'd seen it happen.

Anna could clearly see she'd made her point. She let go and stepped back but kept her eyes focused on her subject as she yelled out, "Eric! Jenny! Come down and say goodbye to Aunt Alyssa. She's going home today."

Alyssa rubbed her shaky hand over her throat gasping for air. She slowly slid back away from her down the wall toward the front door never so afraid for her life, convinced her twin had gone completely mad.

Jenny came down the steps past Eric who just stood his ground, staring at Alyssa. He'd heard the whole thing. She looked up at him seeing it all over him as she hugged Jenny goodbye, ignoring the comments from the child about her hair looking like Anna's and how they hadn't finished painting her room yet.

"Eric," Alyssa pleaded with open arms, "Come say goodbye."

He slowly descended the steps, but once at the bottom he walked past her and went and stood at Anna's side. "Bye," he said dryly as Anna put her arm around his shoulder.

She looked from him to Anna seeing the same unemotional stare knowing she wasn't welcome there anymore, or probably ever again. "Ok, I'm leaving."

"Remember what I said Alyssa," Anna warned. "Don't step on your own grave."

Alyssa gasped at her choice of words and turned, nervously fumbling with the doorknob until she got it open. She went out feeling almost relieved to be away from her.

Steve came across the yard as she glanced over at him, feeling the impact of Anna's threat all over again. She turned her head away and quickly made her way to her car. She just wanted to get away from them and back to her life in Hollywood. They were all crazy, she thought.

Steve stopped as she came out of the house and hurried to her car. He looked back at the opened door, almost too frightened to venture inside the house, afraid of what she had told Anna. Just then she appeared in the doorway.

She saw him standing there and smiled, not sure exactly had transpired between them or if Alyssa had made the whole thing up. Either way it didn't matter to her, she knew without a shed of doubt that it was all lies and that the man standing in her yard was not capable of the horrible things that Alyssa had accused him of.

"Hi, she smiled. "Come on in. I was just going to make some breakfast."

"Anna," he said nervously, "we need to talk. Alyssa came over to my house and was standing in the back when I came out of the water," he started to explain when she cut him off.

"Blah, blah, blah," she said sighing. "Didn't we already have this conversation. I'll tell you one thing for sure. If you ever get yourself into another situation where a woman drops paint on your head and then tries to look just like me to get a little som'em som'em from you, then you better not come over and try to plead your innocence," she waved a finger at him, "you better move off the island."

He smiled over her teasing of the situation, feeling the weight on his shoulders slide off. "Yes ma 'am."

"Good, I'm glad we got that straight. Now get in here." She turned and disappeared inside the house, leaving the door open for him.


	15. Chapter 15

The grill in Steve's backyard smoldered after serving up five burgers and six dogs to the four of them plus Danny and Gracie.

Anna sat cross-legged on a blanket with Danny in one of the Adirondack chairs next to her, both nursing a cold beer.

Steve played out in the water with Jenny as Gracie and Eric sat on the edge of the grass talking music and school.

Anna sat back on her hands and shook her head as Steve threw Jenny up in the air watching her land in the water. "She loves being thrown, spun or just tossed around like a ball."

Danny watched with amusement as Jenny swam towards Steve and he scooped her up in the waist high water, brought her up to his face and said something to make her laugh and then tossed her in the air again while she was still laughing. The sounds of her screams from the thrill reminded him of Gracie when she was little and when they would play the same game.

"It looks so rough," Anna chuckled, "but she loves it."

"She's fine," Danny assured her. "Steve and I used to hold Gracie by the hands and feet and toss her in."

She looked up at him, "Well if this is all it takes to have Jenny grow up to be as great of a kid as Gracie is, then I say toss away."

Danny looked down at her with a grin, holding his beer bottle out to her as she tapped hers against it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She looked back out at the two of them as they swam out and then back again. "Steve really admires you as a father, you know that don't you?"

Danny shrugged. "Honestly, I think he's taught me quite a bit. He reels me in sometimes when I go over the top about something that ends up being…" he chuckled to himself, "not that big of a deal at all, but you worry anyway, you know?"

Anna rolled her eyes as if agreeing with him wholeheartedly. "Yes! That is the understatement of the year. And I have a feeling it will never end."

"It won't."

"But it's totally worth it in the long run."

They tapped beers again. "Absolutely," he replied with a grin. "I have to say that Steve also admires you a great deal over what you've accomplished with Jenny and Eric. I do too." His couldn't help but tease her some." You've come a long way since that day we moved your couch inside your house."

Anna cringed. "Oh god, please don't remind me of that day. It was awful. I still feel guilty over the way I treated you and Steve."

Danny laughed, "Looking back now I can clearly see your frustrations, not with the kids so much as with your life in general at the time." He whispered under his breath. "Geez, your sister. I'm sorry but that girl has got some serious issues."

Anna nodded, "I know. I take it Steve told you everything."

"Yes, but not as gossip or a gripe. He told me more because of the threats she made. He had me document them just in case she got a hair up her ass again and decided to try and do some damage."

Anna smiled, "That was smart of him."

"He was more or less protecting you and the kids."

She smiled even brighter. "He does that a lot."

They both looked back out at him as he tossed Jenny again into the water. "I think he's found a good life here with you and the kids." He put his hand up and laughed. "I have swear on my life though that I'm shocked over it everyday." He elaborated on that statement. "I don't think he knew how bad he wanted to be a father until Jenny and Eric came along, or if it even would have happened for him." He looked down at her. "You should really know how happy is right now. I've known Steve for a long time and I've never seen him like this. I used to joke around with him and tell him he was like a machine, but now it's almost as if he's been reprogrammed. He doesn't just love you, he admires the hell out of you, and that my dear goes hand in hand with him."

Anna sat staring up at him completely surprised by the heartfelt confession he had just laid out to her. "Thank you Danny. You should also know that I love him very much and that I would do anything in the world for him."

"See," Danny said as if solidifying his earlier comments. "You two were made for each other." He motioned toward the water, "Speak of the devil."

Steve came up next to Danny's chair and collapsed in the grass on his back as Jenny ran up and stood next to him, reaching down and pulling on his hand.

"One more time!" she squealed. "Please, one more time!"

He sat up as she walked backward, pulling on his hand.

"Just once more, Steve," she pleaded, "and then no more. I promise!" She jumped up and down excitedly.

"Just one more?" he questioned her promise.

"Yes!" She let go of him, but continued to jump and down. "Once more is all."

Ok," he said getting up. "Then we better make it worth while."

Jenny screamed with delight as he scooped her up under the arms and laid her over his shoulder as he ran towards the water.

"Oh my god Steve, be careful," Anna laughed.

He ignored her plea and went out to the waist deep water and held Jenny by the waist, tossing her as high as he could in the air as she screamed out, her limbs flailing about as she flew through the air, landing in the water butt first.

She popped up right away laughing and swimming toward him as he made his way out to her. She took his hand as he pulled her into shore.

Eric set his plate of food down after taking a bite of his burger. "She went so high!" he laughed. "Good thing she's little, there's no way you could throw me that high."

Steve came out of the water holding Jenny's hand. "What? You don't think I'm able to get you airborne?"

"No way. You might be able to pick me up but that's all."

"Danny, a little help please," Steve motioned with his hand. "I've been challenged, but I think the little smart-aleck deserves the gauntlet."

Gracie started to laugh and moved away from Eric. "Now you did it," she warned him.

"Did what?"

Danny set his beer down and got up, approaching Eric from behind as Steve came at him from the front. Eric jumped to his feet trying to get away but it was impossible. Danny got a hold of him first, taking both his hands while Steve ran up and bent over grabbing both his ankles. They lifted him up and walked to the water with him suspended off the ground as he laughed and yelled, trying to squirm away but knew it was impossible.

"So what do you think," Danny asked, looking across at his partner in crime, "should we do the belly flop or the Hail Mary?"

"The Hail Mary for sure," Steve replied.

"Ok sounds good." He looked down at Eric, "A piece of advise. Don't tell Steve he can't do something. You just make him more determined."

"Enough talk," Steve responded, "let's get this missal launched."

They both stood out in the knee-deep water and lifted Eric so his back just skimmed the top of it, swinging him back and forth.

"One…two…" they both counted simultaneously, "three!" They launched him up in the air as he flew in no particular fashion out over the horizon, his body doing a somersault at no effort from him. He landed in the water feet first as Danny and Steve did a high five laughing over the way in which he flew.

* * *

They all sat around enjoying the late afternoon sun as it began to make it's decent for the day.

Danny sat in the same chair as before. Jenny was wrapped up in two towels in the one next to him, while Anna, Steve, Eric and Gracie all sat on the ground next to each other in a line, looking out over the water.

Steve sat forward resting his arms on his knees, looking down the line at everyone, including Danny and Jenny in the chairs. "Since I have everyone together," he said sighing, knowing he had to get the news out sooner rather than later, "I have some news." He looked directly at Anna as he continued. "I've been called to reserve duty. I leave next Friday. I'll be gone for three weeks."

She felt her heart sink to her stomach, even Eric and Jenny both sat up, stunned over the news.

"You're leaving?" Jenny asked, only hearing that part and not understanding the other as her face showed the grief and fright over it.

"You're going to war?" Eric blurted out with the same horrified expression, feeling the burger in his stomach begin to churn.

"No!" Steve replied quickly, pushing himself up off the ground and going to Jenny who had already started to show the signs of tears. "I'm not going to war," he said, making eye contact with Eric as he scooped Jenny up off the chair, holding her with one arm on his hip. "I'm going to be only about a hundred and fifty miles off the coast of Hawaii on an aircraft carrier." He looked at Jenny. "A big, giant boat."

"When are you coming back?" she cried.

"Three weeks. I'll only be gone for three weeks." He looked back over at Eric not seeing the relief on him that he was expecting as the boy pushed himself up off the ground and went to him. Steve put an arm over his shoulder as he surprised him even more by putting both arms around his waist, hugging him.

"Hey, you two," he said feeling himself getting choked up, surprised their reaction would be this heartfelt, but deep down inside he couldn't have been more pleased. "Its ok," he consoled them, looking down at Anna for help as she got up coming to his aid.

"It's going to be ok," she said trying to be strong for him but the second she reached him she felt the same sadness that they did. "Three weeks isn't…" she started when she couldn't hold back. She leaned into him putting her arms around his chest.

Gracie wiped her fingers under her eyes over the spectacle, knowing that feeling of separation when she would have to leave her dad to go home. She'd learned to deal with it over the years but could she still remember the loneliness of it.

"Hey, come on you guys," he began when he looked over at Danny expecting his partner to be displaying a smug grin over their behavior, but on the contrary his expression was nothing of the sort. Steve could hear the words coming out of Danny's mouth even though he never spoke. He was telling him to embrace this moment…so he did, pulling Eric in closer and leaning in toward Anna as Jenny squeezed his neck tighter. He was going to be missed. It was sad for them, but to Steve it was the greatest feeling he'd ever experienced.

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The night before his departure, Steve sat on the couch with Jenny tucked in closely next to him. He flipped the pages of the large kids book showing her what an aircraft carrier looked like.

She pointed at the page. "Do you live there or do you go to a hotel at nighttime?"

Steve smiled, "No, I'll stay on the boat the whole time. It's like a little city on the inside. They have a big area where everyone goes and eats that's called a mess hall…"

Jenny looked up at him confused. "Who wants to eat someplace messy? Do they ever clean it up?"

Steve laughed. "It's just a name, but it's very clean. They also have a barber shop and a computer lab so I'll be able to email you."

"Where do you sleep?"

"I have a room, but it's really small. About the size of the bathroom."

Jenny stared up at him, trying to picture all of her stuff crammed into the bathroom. "Where do you put your clothes and bed?"

"They have a small locker for my clothes and the bed folds up against the wall. I'm actually pretty lucky. I'm an officer so I get my own quarters, but the lower ranked service men and women have to share quarters with three other people."

Her expression became confused once again. "How do you share a quarter, do they each get to spend it on what they want?"

Steve tried not laugh, not wanting to make her feel foolish for asking the obvious question. "No honey," he explained. "The word quarters isn't money, it's what we call the room we live in."

"Like the messy hall?" she asked.

He smiled, "Yes."

"Oh,"

Anna came in and sat down on the other side of him. "The most important thing is that he'll be safe and sound."

"Can we come and visit you there?" Jenny asked.

"No, unfortunately you can't." He squeezed her. "I wish you could because I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too."

"Me too," Anna agreed, wrapping her hand around his arm.

Steve looked up seeing Eric standing by the TV. "Aren't you going to miss me too Eric?" he asked in a girly voice.

"Yea," Eric rolled his eyes playfully, trying to sound tough, "Like I miss school in the summer."

Steve laughed as the girls scolded him. Steve reached behind his head for the small sofa pillow and hurled it across the room, hitting him in the back of the head. "Bulls eye!" he congratulated himself as Eric laughed, picking it up and getting ready to throw it back when Anna held her hand up.

"Stop! No throwing stuff in the house. Something is going to get broken."

They two boys rolled their eyes over the reprimanding.

"You know," Steve began, "I need you to take care of things around here while I'm gone."

Eric ignored the TV remote and faced him. "Like what?"

"Well, the lawn can't go three weeks without being mowed and if something breaks down you need to look at it. And At night you need to make sure you lock up before bed so the girls are safe. Can you make sure all that gets done?"

Eric nodded, "Yes. I can do all that."

"Good. That's one thing I won't have to worry about then."

Anna squeezed Steve's arm because she could see on Eric's face the importance of the small tasks that were actually huge in his eyes.

"What about me?" Jenny asked. "What do I have to do?"

"You," he said, pulling her up on his lap. "Your job is to write me letters and to send me pictures for my room to brighten it up."

"I can do that," she replied excitedly.

"Good, because they bring mail out to the ship about every five or six days and I'll be expecting something every time."

"What about me?" Anna asked, grinning at him. "What do you want me to do?"

He leaned over and kissed her, "Miss me."

"Done. But that's too easy." She leaned over whispering in his ear, "We'll save mine for when you come home."

He liked the sound of that, looking forward to that day, but pleased he still had tonight, knowing it had to hold him over for the next three weeks. Downtime on the ship was going to be the worst part. He hoped they kept him busy as hell so when he did finally make it back to his quarters he'd collapse into a deep sleep, otherwise he wasn't sure he'd sleep at all, or very well without her.

They'd become accustom to sleeping close, one of the many routines in his life that he needed, he craved it. Often waking up in the middle of night just to feel her. He was addicted to the rush she passed onto him, even as she slept. That gap between his single life and being with her was closing, wondering lately what he would ever do without her. Afraid to let himself even briefly penetrate that world, fearful the nightmare might actually come true.

She got up with Jenny, saying something about ice cream as he watched her walk across the room. She was perfect in his eyes. This world that she had invited him into was perfect. Life was good. The time away would only solidify what he already knew, he was lucky as hell to be sitting amongst these three people that he would do whatever necessary to protect and care for.

"Steve," Anna smiled as he stared at her but seemed lost in his thoughts, ignoring her first request.

"What," he finally answered.

"Ice cream?"

"Sure." He pushed himself off the couch and caught up with her from behind, wrapping both arms around her waist, stopping her in the hallway. "I won't leave you again after this," he said over her shoulder.

She shifted so she could see his face, "You don't have to worry about that. You do what you have to do, we'll always be here when you get home." She sealed it with a kiss and then took his hand, leading him into the kitchen where Eric and Jenny had already begun to get ice cream out of the freezer.

'_Yup_,' he thought, '_perfect._'

* * *

Anna laid in bed with him snuggled up close behind her. His arm placed securely around her waist as he slept. She stared at the dark green duffel bag lying on the floor just a few feet away. It was packed full of all the things he would need over the next three weeks. She hated to see him go, but also knew how important it was to him. She would never ask him to quit, never. It was a part of who he was and why she fell in love with him.

She felt tears sting her eyes, dreading the next morning, knowing how much she was going to miss him. It was a small sacrifice on her part and she scolded herself once again for not seeing the positive. He could be leaving for months and going someplace that would leave her sick to her stomach every second of the day. She should count her blessings and she did, slipping her hand inside of his.

She felt him squeeze it, knowing he was awake too. She rolled over as he sat up on his elbow looking down at her in the darkness.

Neither said a word as they soaked each other in, using this moment as a reminder while they were separated of what was waiting for them.

He leaned down unable to control the urge any longer as she reached up with the same impulse, greeting his kiss with equal momentum. He lifted her up pulling her closer and then laid her back down again, shifting his body on top of her, never once breaking stride from the kiss.

Their bodies connected without any need for guidance as if they were made for each other.

She couldn't imagine being in this place with another man, ever. Her heart pounded over not only the loving motion of his body that filled her up in more ways than one, but because she knew she was loved just as much by him. She felt it in his kiss and in the way he touched her, but more so in the way his eyes continuously followed her when she entered the room. She was admired. She held the same fascination with him. If she was in a room with him she had to be next to him, if she were next to him she had to be touching him, and what she loved the most was that he welcomed it, often pulling her in closer. His only request from her was to miss him…she already was.

Her hands roamed over him setting off small tremors that lasted only seconds but were like the calm before the storm, knowing what her body was capable of doing to him in the end. The build up was just as good as the finale. He raised above her just high enough to see her face. It was a part of the hype that could often put him over the edge. Her beauty was unsurpassed and left him speechless at times, barely able to keep a straight thought in his head while admiring it. This wasn't one of those times though, his thoughts were clear and on track with what he was feeling. He was completely conscious and eager to take that next step with her. All she had to do was accept.

* * *

Anna lay sedated as he moved most of his weight off of her, but still kept a firm hold as they lay facing each other.

"Hmmm," she purred, "thank you Commander." She felt his body quake as he chuckled over her remark.

"My pleasure ma'am," he replied in the same calm tone, "and believe me, it was my pleasure."

She ran her hand over his hair and down the back, scooting even closer to him. "I love you."

Her kissed her for that before replying, "I love you too." It was the understatement of the year in his opinion in comparison to what he was feeling at that second. "While I'm gone," he began, needing to get the fear of leaving her taken care of, "if anything happens and you need anything, anything at all," he said adamantly, "you call Danny, ok?"

She smiled, knowing it was more for his peace of mind, "ok."

"I mean it," he repeated. "Anything, he'll come day or night without hesitation."

"I know," she assured him. "I will. I promise."

"If you need me I left numbers on the fridge downstairs. I'd have to call you back but I'll get the message."

"What if I call just to talk dirty to you?" she teased.

"Then call often," he smiled, kissing her.

Her smile slowly faded as the reality of him leaving crept back into her thoughts. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Three weeks is all," he said as if it were nothing. "It'll go by fast." He tried to convince himself of the same nonsense but they both knew it would drag on as if time were standing still.

"No it won't."

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No," he agreed, "it won't."

"It's ok you know," Anna said, "I understand why you have to go. It's a small sacrifice on my side compared to what you have to do and what others like you have to do. I'm not complaining about you having to go. I'll just miss you is all."

He needed to hear that, pleased that he did. "Its different for me now. I used to really like going. It gave me a chance to get away from the normal routine of life, but now," he ran his hand through her hair, "now I love my routine."

Anna smiled, "So am I safe to say that if you ever get excited about going then I should feel nervous?"

"The only time you should feel nervous about me going is if there's a war going on."

"God Steve," she cringed, rolling away, "Don't say stuff like that."

"I'm sorry," he quickly backtracked, leaning over her. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I just meant that I'm not in any danger where I'm going now. Its routine stuff."

She looked up at him knowing he meant every word he said but it didn't change the fact that no matter how many times he said it she'd still worry. "I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"You won't. I promise." He leaned over and kissed her. "I'll be back in three weeks and then…" he playfully growled as he tore into her neck. "then you better worry."

She giggled and squirmed as his kisses tickled her.

The sound of her laugh was like music to his ears.

They made love again before finally falling asleep, holding each other closely.

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Steve dropped his duffel bag on the ground and turned, facing the three of them as they stood there looking at him sadly in his brown fatigues and combat boots. This was the cut-off point between his Navy life and his civilian life. He looked over toward the gate into Hickman air base where he'd be catching his ride out to the ship. '_It's only for three weeks_,' he told himself, '_get a grip_.'

He turned back to them and smiled. "I got some stuff for you," he said, trying to make the moment less dreary for all of them. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the keys to his house, taking the house key off the ring.

"Here Eric," he handed it out to him. "I want you to keep an eye on my house when I'm gone. Also, if you just feel like getting away for a couple of hours you can hang out over there and watch TV. I stocked the fridge with pop."

Eric took the key equally shocked and elated over the offer. "Ok, thanks!"

"When I get back we'll start planning our strategy for that camping trip." He motioned toward Anna and Jenny. "It's your job to keep an eye on my girls too. You have Danny's number right?"

He nodded, his expression becoming serious over the most important job he had to do. "Yes. It's on the fridge."

He put a hand on his shoulder, "Ok good."

Jenny looked up at him. "Did you bring me anything?"

"Of course." He bent down and unzipped his bag, pulling out a small plastic bag. "Here, in there are some new crayons, colored pencils and a book of stamps. On your desk at home I put some paper and big envelopes." He bent over bracing his hands on his knees. "I want pictures."

Jenny smiled brightly looking in the bag and then back at him, "I'll make one every day."

"Good. I'll look forward to mail call."

He stood back up looking at Anna.

"Be careful," she said to him as he stared at her.

"Did you think I forgot about you?"

She smiled, rolling her eyes. "Just come back safe, that's all you have to give me."

"No, I don't think that's it." He kept his eyes on her as he reached in his pants pocket and pulled it out. It teetered on his pinky finger as he held it up to her.

She stared at the diamond solitaire ring completely dumbfounded.

"I want to get married when I get home, if you'll still have me."

She slowly looked up at him with her mouth open as if she were going to speak but nothing was coming out.

Steve laughed, reaching down and taking her left hand, slipping the ring on, "I hope that's a look of good shock."

Jenny and Eric looked at each other in the same way, realizing what was happening.

"Are you going to get married?" Jenny blurted out.

Steve raised an eyebrow at Anna as her expression softened and her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know," he questioned her. "Are we?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded, "Yes," she whimpered, putting her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "Yes, yes!"

He held her just as tightly, looking over her shoulder as Jenny did a leap in the air and Eric put his hand into a tight fist and did a fist-pump. "Yes!" he exclaimed over the news.

"I'm glad everyone's on board," Steve said, pulling back so he could see Anna's face which glowed, an expression that he locked away in his memory. He cupped her face with his hands. "I love you. I'm here for you, even if I'm two hundred miles off shore. I'll take care you, all of you."

She nodded, knowing his word was written in stone. "I love you too. We all do. We'll take care of you too." She stood up on her toes and kissed him.

He looked down as Jenny wrapped her arms around his thigh and hugged him, "I love you too," she squeezed. She couldn't have been happier over this moment that she had wanted desperately.

He looked over at Eric, "What?" he teased him. "No tears and I love you Steve." He held out his fist to him as Eric bumped it with his.

"No," he said trying to act tough, assuming that's what Steve wanted. He didn't feel the tears right then, and even though he didn't say it, he did love him. He wasn't sure if it was the same love he had for his father but the admiration was the same.

Steve scooped up Jenny, giving her a bear hug and making the noise along with it. "Be good," he said kissing her cheek. "I'll see you soon."

"I love you," she repeated kissing his cheek.

"I love you too sweetie." He set her down and reached over playfully smacking Eric in the head. "I love you too Buddy. Don't eat all my food and drink my beer while I'm gone."

Eric laughed at first and then suddenly without warning he felt the separation of him leaving. It scared him more than anything else as he tried to hide it.

Steve sensed the anxiety and put an arm around his shoulder. "You make a list of what we need for that camping trip, ok?"

Eric nodded refusing to look up at him. "Ok." He felt his throat close up as he leaned into him. "I…" he paused, as he swallowed, "love you too."

Steve pulled him in a little closer, feeling himself getting choked up. "You be good, and take care of things."

Eric nodded again and stepped back, wiping his eyes and grinning. "Pay attention and don't walk off the end of the ship." He finally looked up at him with a teasing grin.

"Smart aleck," Steve mumbled, winking at him.

He took Anna's hand and led her a few steps away, "Remember what I said last night. Call Danny."

"I will," she smiled and then shook her head. "God, you're only going for three weeks but I feel like it's an eternity."

"I know, me too." He moved closer to her, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you. Start making plans. The sooner the better."

She put her arms around his chest, "I love you too. Don't be surprised if you step off the boat and there's minister waiting there." She looked up at him smiling. "I don't want you to change your mind."

He stared down at her, getting his fill before he had to go. "Not going to happen. You're stuck with me."

She reached up and kissed him as he pulled her in closer, getting his fill of this as well.

He gave her one more quick one and then bent over picking up his duffle bag. He started walking backward away from them, raising one hand as they did the same.

"Be safe," Anna said.

"I'll call you when I can."

She nodded and felt her heart sink to her stomach as he turned and walked through the gate and disappeared around the corner.


	16. Chapter 16

Steve tossed his duffel bag out of the dual head chopper onto the tarmac of the USS Carl Vinson. He followed suit, scooping it up with his right hand and made his way over toward his awaiting CO, his body slightly hunched over because of the huge blades that turned overhead.

He dropped the bag once again and stood perfectly erect, saluting the man before him.

He had to yell in order to be heard over the sound of the helicopter that had begun to gain momentum, getting ready for its decent back to the base. "Lieutenant Commander McGarrett reporting, Sir."

Captain Hershey returned the salute. "Welcome aboard Commander," he yelled. He let go the formality and then stuck his hand out with a broad smile. "It's good to see you, Steve. How the hell are ya?"

The handshake was firm as well as the eye contact showing the respect they had for each other. "I'm good, Sir. Looking forward to being here," he lied.

"Well we're glad you're aboard. Grab your stuff and we'll get some lunch while I fill you in on your duties."

"Yes Sir." He picked up his bag and followed behind him. He was impressed by Hershey's upper body structure as he wore the same camouflage colored pants of beige that he was wearing but wore only a white T-shirt, showing off the broad shoulders and proof that the old man worked out regularly. He had to be pushing sixty yet he had the build of a twenty year old. The hat he wore showed his rank of Captain and the specks of grey on his sideburns and around the nape of his neck from the fresh incoming hair was new but other than that he looked the same since the last time he'd seen him almost two years before.

They entered through a door that led to the hull of the giant ship. Once the solid steel door closed the sound of the helicopter was replaced by a soft humming of the engines below.

"How was the flight over?" he asked him.

"Smooth," Steve replied.

"Good. That pilot is a newbie, it was his first solo flight."

"He did well."

They walked down a series of corridors getting salutes from Privates every so often as they passed each other. Captain Hershey went through a door that read '_Officer's Mess Hall'_.

Steve smiled at it, recalling Jenny's appalled thought that they ate in a messy hall. He looked around at the pristine area making a mental note to take a couple of pictures to show her what it really looked like.

Two men that were sitting at one of the long tables both stood up as they entered, saluting both of them.

Steve and the Captain returned it as Hershey spoke.

"Adese Gentlemen."

Steve set his bag down next to a table and followed the Captain up to the serving line. One thing about his Navy life that he couldn't argue with was that Officer's ate well. He picked up a plate and held it out as the private on the other side scooped up the daily lunch menu that consisted of a barbequed pulled pork sandwich on a fresh baked bun, corn bread, potato salad and baked beans. He waved off the beans and took an extra helping of corn bread instead. At the end of the line he reached in a bucket of ice and pulled out two single serving size containers of milk.

They sat down at the table and instantly began eating.

"Captain Hershey flipped open a file he'd been carrying, speaking with his mouth full of the pork sandwich. "I've got your orders here." He slid the papers over to him as Steve set his sandwich down and wiped his hands off on the napkin next to the plate. He picked up the sheet and began reading over the schedule.

"Night shift! Damn! What did I do wrong to deserve that?"

Hershey laughed, "Don't take offense to it son. No punishment intended. We've got some night maneuvers going on and I need someone with experience." He waved his fork at him. "And you're my guy."

"Yes Sir." He picked the sandwich back up and took another bite as he read over what looked like a normal routine, nothing really out of the ordinary. "How many classes do I have?"

"Nine."

"Nine!" he looked over at him again surprised over that number. "Are you sure I'm not being punished, or are we on the brink of some world skirmish I'm being kept out of?"

Hershey shook his head chuckling. "No, we've just had a big increase in our enlistment. A lot of guys are coming…" he paused holding his hand up to correct himself. "Let me rephrase that, guys and girls are coming through the program. Half your trainees are women."

Steve nodded, but didn't seem surprised over that. "Yes Sir."

"You ok with that?"

That question surprised him. "Sir? Why wouldn't I be?"

Hershey set his fork down and wiped his mouth off on his napkin. "That's why I chose you, Steve. A lot of guys are old school, you know. They think a woman's place is still in the kitchen." He huffed, "Which is bullshit if you ask me. Jesus, my mother could have run this ship better than me. I've known some stuff as nails broads in my day. I say promote em' all."

Steve nodded in agreement, thinking of Anna. She wasn't the Navy type but she was strong and resilient, that was for sure. He felt that first pain in his chest, missing her already. "Yes, Sir, me too."

"Hey," Hershey smiled, "as a matter of fact, guess who our chief ship doctor is?"

Steve took a bite of corn bread washing it down with some milk. "A woman?" he assumed.

"Not just any woman, Lieutenant Hershey."

That one surprised the hell out of him. "Carrie? Your Carrie?"

He smiled proudly, "That's right. She graduated med school last year and I scooped her up quick. Cost me a few favors but I wanted her on board." He quickly elaborated. "Not just because she's my niece, but because she's damn good at what she does. Top of her class."

Steve nodded in agreement. "Talk about tough as nails."

Hershey laughed. "You got that right. I told her you were coming on board." He laughed, recalling her reply. "She said, 'good' she needed to practice up on her arm cast skills."

Steve laughed, "Damn her! She almost cost me three days in the brig for putting that cast on me."

Hershey roared over that statement, slapping his hand down on the table. "That story still makes me laugh and I wasn't even there to enjoy it."

"Funny now," Steve shook his head, grinning over the memory of it.

"That's what you get son for going on furlough with a nurse and drinking too much."

Steve nodded, but knew it had nothing to do with the drinking, she had been mad as hell and someone was going to pay, and he was her target. She just had to get him stinking drunk to do it, and she succeeded. "My CO had to cut that thing off and was screaming in my face the whole time."

Hershey laughed even harder. "Be careful on this trip, she has even better instruments to work with now, and skills."

Steve held his hands up. "I'm keeping my distance." He smiled recalling other several good times that they did have together. "Maybe I'll stop by for an aspirin, just to say hi."

"I'm sure she'll seek you out, son. She seemed pretty happy over the news." He sat back, pushing his food away to the side of the table, muffling a belch behind his fist that hid his mouth. "So how's civilian life treating you? I see you're still catching bad guys for the Governor."

"Yes, Sir. The job is good, keeps me busy, but also," It felt surreal to say it out loud, but it felt good too. "I'm getting married."

"Holy shit!" he sat back in the chair, looking at him as if that were the surprise of the year, and then reached his hand across the table. "Well congratulations. Is she a Navy girl?"

"No Sir." He shook his hand and then smiled, recalling their first date together. "She's a civilian, but she can be just as intimidating as any CO I've ever had."

"Those are the best ones. Keeps you in line. I bet she's a beauty too."

Steve blew out a breath and grinned, "Ahh…yes, Sir. She's a stunner that's for sure."

"Well good for you, Steve. I'm happy for ya." He pushed away from the table. "Why don't you go get your quarters set up and meet me up on the bridge," he glanced at his watch. "How about fourteen hundred hours?"

"Yes, Sir." He stood up at the same time and saluted him getting a quick yet informal one in return.

"Adese Commander. I'll see you in a bit." He slapped him on the shoulder as he went by, saluting the other two officers' as he made his way to the door.

Steve sat back down and finished off his sandwich in one bite. He pulled his phone out of his pocket but knew he didn't have any service out on the boat, especially down inside the hull. He didn't need cell service for what he was looking for anyway. He scanned through the pictures until he found the one of Anna that he was thinking of.

She was lying on the couch after falling asleep while they watched TV together one night. He remembered coming back from the bathroom and just stopping and staring at her, the same as he was now.

He spread his fingers out on the phone to bring her face in closer as a smile appeared on his. "Three weeks," he sighed. "I can't believe what you've done to me." He shook his head and then slipped it back in his pocket. "You keep this up," he mumbled to himself, "and you'll end up swimming back in two days."

* * *

The door to his room was slightly ajar, waiting for his arrival. He pushed it open with the end of his duffle bag and scanned the small area before tossing his bag on the bed that hung from the wall. He unzipped it and began taking out the forest green shirts that all matched in color and two other pairs of pants that matched the shirts. The only thing that didn't look the same was two pairs of basketball shorts and some Nike running shoes for his time off. He'd miss his morning swims but the state of the art workout room on the ship would make up for it.

He removed the last object and saw an envelope at the bottom of the bag that had the words '_Top Secret' _written on it. He smiled, recognizing the handwriting as Anna's. He sat down on the bed and tore it open, his heart reeling over the pleasant surprise. It was good to have someone back home that loved him. He'd gone on two of these exercises while with Becky and not once had she even seen him off, let alone surprised him with a letter.

But as he ventured into the envelope he knew it was going to be better than a letter. It contained a picture with a sticky note stuck to the front of it that read, '_Hi Commander, a little taste of home to remind you what you are protecting.'_

He pulled off the sticky note and sighed, but it came out more as a moan. It was a picture of Anna on her bed, lying on her side with her head propped up on her hand. A white sheet was seductively and a barely covering her waist, the rest of her fully exposed.

He felt himself instantly getting hard just from the picture, and that mixed with the thought of her in that bed that they had christened so many times began to make him wonder if he could actually make that long swim home.

"Damn you're beautiful," he whispered.

"Well thank you so much."

The voice from his doorway startled him out of his trance as he looked up seeing Lieutenant Hershey standing at his doorway making fun of a seductive pose over his comments.

He turned the photo upside down and set it on the bed. "Well look what the Navy dragged in," he replied. "Nurse Ratchet."

Carrie laughed. "Excuse me, but you have to come up with a better name than that, because now it's Doctor." She pointed to the Caduceus medal on her uniform that was the symbol of medicine. "See, they gave me this as proof."

Steve laughed. "Ok then, how about Doctor Doolittle?"

Carrie cracked up over that. "At least you still have a good sense of humor where I'm concerned," she replied entering the room as he stood up.

"Barely."

"I said I was sorry," she replied, wrapping her arms around his chest since she only came up that far. She looked up at him. "But someone deserved it."

Steve stepped back. "I didn't do it!" He held his right hand up. "I swear to god almighty. I…did not…put up…that picture."

Carrie grinned sheepishly. "I know. Dan Kelly did."

Steve playfully glared at her. "Yet you punished me."

She shrugged. "Well I had to do something. I couldn't let it go unpunished. It would have made me look even worse." She bent her head just slightly and looked up at him with a childlike expression. "I knew that if I did it to you that you'd be the only one who wouldn't be mad at me. At least not for very long." She reached out and gently punched his arm. "You were a nice guy that way."

"I was mad as hell!" he blasted her, trying not to laugh.

"I know and did you stay mad at me? No. Did you retaliate against me? No. Because you knew as well as I did that I needed a comeback or that story would be remembered as the picture story and not the cast on Steve's arm story." She smiled sweetly at him. "That's why you never said anything. You let yourself become the butt of the joke for my sake. Didn't you?"

"Shut up," he grinned, not admitting it, but that was exactly why he forgave her. "I'm not that nice."

"Yes you are." She said as if it were written in stone as she went past him. "So…who were you actually calling beautiful when I came in?"

He looked down at the back of the picture on the bed. "This one will blow you away," he grinned.

Carrie turned looking at him. "Oh yea? Let me hear it."

He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell, pulling up a picture of Anna, Eric and Jenny all sitting together while they were on a hike one afternoon. He held it out for her to see. "I'm getting married. Instant family." He pointed out each person, stating their name.

Carrie's face showed her surprise as she looked at the picture and then up at him. "Wow! Congrats Daddy." She took the phone from him to get a better look. "Now I see why you're so gaga. She is beautiful. So are her kids."

"They're not hers'. Well…" he quickly corrected himself because that sounded wrong to say. "Not technically. It's her niece and nephew. Her brother and his wife were killed in a car accident last year and she took over raising them."

Carrie's face showed the pain from the sad story and then the admiration for the woman in the picture. "She's a keeper. How did you meet?"

Steve smiled, "They moved in next door to me."

"Lucky you." She handed the phone back to him as he looked at it once more before he slipped it back in his pocket.

"Yes I am. The little girl, Jenny," he rolled his eyes, "geez, talk about playing me like a fiddle and Eric the boy…"

Carrie watched and listened as he went on about them. The pride he felt over them was obvious. It was good to see him so happy, she thought. He deserved it. "I'm happy for you Steve. I think you'll be a great dad."

He shrugged and blew out a breath, "Day by day I guess. But Anna and I, we're a good team. Naive' as hell," he laughed, "but a good team."

"That's how I feel about me and my husband," Carrie announced.

Steve mirrored the same expression she had earlier. "Really? Married? We must have drunk from the same tequila well. Who is he?"

Carrie stood in silence trying to stifle her grin.

"C'mon," Steve laughed. "It can't be that bad."

"It's Dan Kelly," she said chuckling.

"What?! What?!" he repeated even louder and then busted up laughing. "Let me get this straight. He puts up the picture of you. I get punished for it and then you marry him?"

Carrie shrugged, "He apologized many times over for it."

"Apologized," Steve huffed. "I got my arm in a cast and my CO ripped me a new one and he gets off with just an apology? That's just wrong."

Carrie tilted her head putting her hands on her hips. "What if you were me and miss beautiful had put up the pic?" She smiled knowing he'd forgive her in a heartbeat just like she had.

"Ok," he caved, "you got me there."

"Love is weird isn't it?" Carrie sighed.

Steve shook his head as if that were the understatement of the year. "You have no idea. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How do you deal with the separation?"

She knew this was probably the first time he'd been away from his fiancé' recalling how hard it was for her too. "You just deal with it. There is no easy solution. Bottom line is it sucks."

"Yea," he replied, somewhat disappointed over her answer, hoping she could give him something to ease the loneliness of missing them.

"I guess keeping busy is the solution," Carrie suggested.

That advice he took to heart.

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Anna rolled over in her sleep and reached for him. She awoke at the feel of an empty bed, glancing toward the bathroom at first and then a second later remembering where he was.

She pulled his pillow over close that she had fallen asleep hugging for the fifth night in a row, breathing in the faint smell of his cologne, refusing to change it until he came home. Her whole body ached for him, wondering if she were going to get a good night sleep at all while he was gone.

She stared at his side of the bed; running her hand over the vacant spot and closing her eyes, chuckling to herself, because she knew when he got back that she wouldn't be able to keep her hands off of him for even a second. She needed to fill this three-week gap.

She concentrated on her agenda for the next day, hoping to bore herself back to sleep. She was almost in that state of unconsciousness when she heard her phone ringing. She rolled over, excited over catching his call this night. She'd slept through the last one, cursing herself for having it on vibrate as she slept through it, but the message he left was uplifting to say the least. He said he knew she was sleeping and not to be alarmed by the call, he just wanted to hear her voice mail so he could hear her voice that he missed so much, ending it with his declaration of love. But what made her smile was the six missed calls after that knowing she wouldn't answer, but again, he just needed to hear her voice.

Steve wiped his sweaty face off with the dark green hand towel in his hand. He moved it around to the back of his neck, wondering if the humidity could get any worse. They were about two hundred and fifty miles off the coast of Hawaii and it was hotter here than there.

He glanced at his watch that read four forty three. The sun would be up soon but by then he would be in a deep sleep, he hoped.

"Good night, Commander," two of his female trainees said as they approached him, saluting him as they did.

He gave them a salute in return, "Good job tonight. Tomorrow we'll work on that landing again."

The pilot spoke up, "I'll get it tomorrow Sir, I promise."

"Practice is all it takes. Don't rush it and be careless. Better to fail three times and then get it right than to force it once and end up in the ocean or worse yet at the bottom of it."

"Yes, Sir."

He waved them off. "Go get some sleep. I'll see you at twenty three hundred tonight." he walked off not waiting for a reply but heard a faint 'Yes Sir' in the background. He had another agenda to pursue.

He opened the door to the control room that consisted of several men and women sitting at computer screens that held various maps and radar displays from around the world. He knew some were displays of their own ships and some were engaged in keeping an eye on countries that were not considered allies. At the moment none of them were relevant to why he was there.

"Commander," Captain Hershey spoke up as he approached his corner of the room. He leaned over a desk and pulled out a satellite phone from the wall, unhooking it from the charger. "Need this? I take it that top secret intelligence job you're working on needs some more debriefing?"

Steve smiled because he knew very well what he wanted the phone for and so did Hershey and it had nothing to do with a top-secret job, unless that job was coded as the name Anna. "Yes Sir. If you don't mind?"

He gave him the phone, not caring at all. He didn't make a habit of it and never took advantage of the privilege by staying on too long; it was just enough to get his fix.

"Thank you Sir."

He waved him off, turning his attention to another issue.

Steve stepped outside and dialed Anna's cell number, just needing to hear her voice again. To his surprise and pleasure she answered on the second ring.

She sat up holding the phone. Her excitement over talking to him made her hands shake as she tried to focus on answering.

"Hi!" she said excitedly, knowing it was Steve even though the caller ID displayed unknown.

"Hey there," he replied just as pleased, walking over to the edge of the boat, away from the scores of people that were doing their duties even at that time of night. "I didn't want to wake you, but I'm glad I did. How are things at home?"

"I miss you," she declared wholeheartedly, "other than that everything is fine."

He closed his eyes and sighed, hearing it in her voice, but it made him smile too. It was a good thing to hear. "I miss you too. This is harder than I thought it was going to be and I knew it was going to be damn hard."

"I got your message the other day," she grinned, "all seven of them."

He ran his hand over his hair, wiping away the sweat that had begun to form again. "I wanted to hear your voice."

"I can understand that, because I've listened to your message about a hundred times."

He thought speaking to her would ease his ache but it just made him miss her all the more. "I love you," he said quietly into the phone.

She lay back on the bed pulling his pillow up close to her face to smell his cologne. "I love you too."

"Is everything ok? Do you need anything?"

She shook her head as she spoke. "No. We're fine." Knowing if she did say yes, that whatever she did need, he somehow would have provided it to her, even from where he was.

"How are the kids? Is Eric helping out?"

"Yes. He even emptied the dishwasher last night without me even asking."

Steve smiled. "Good boy. How's Jenny? Did she send me a picture?"

"Yes. Two already," Anna replied but didn't tell him about her nightmares that returned since his departure, two in the last five nights. Worrying him wouldn't help and she knew he would. "She has another one started."

"I can't wait to get it. Mail should come today. By the way, I got your picture," he grinned.

Anna blushed slightly. "Do you like it?"

He took it out just then looking at it. "I keep it under my pillow when I sleep, and when I go out on maneuvers, I keep it in my pocket."

"So I'm with you all the time," she affirmed.

"That's the idea." He looked over his shoulder to the control room, knowing his time was limited. "Have you started thinking about any plans for a wedding?"

"Yes. I was thinking maybe something quick and easy, nothing dramatic. I don't really know anyone here, unless you want something more than that?"

"Whatever you want is fine by me, as long as you show up I don't care where it is."

Anna smiled, "I'll be there, you don't have to worry about that."

"I have to go. I'm on a satellite phone that I'm technically not supposed the be on."

She sat up still holding his pillow. "I love you. I miss you so much. I think about you constantly."

It felt like a catch-22. He wanted to hear those words from her, yet he wished he didn't have to. "I love you too Anna. I don't think I can go through this again. I don't want to put you through this again."

"Don't stop what you're doing on our account Steve. This is who you are and that's the man I fell in love with. You're there because it's the right thing to do and they need you just as much as we do. If you make that decision you do it because it's the right one for you, not for us. Ok?"

He wiped his sweaty face again on the sleeve of his shirt as those feelings of separation quickly changed to pride. "I can't believe how lucky I was to find you. Sometimes I feel like it's all just an illusion it's so perfect."

"It's not an illusion Steve, and no relationship is perfect, people fall all the time, but it's who is standing behind you to catch you that matters." Her voice softened, "You have me and I'm a lot stronger than you think."

He let those words soak in, and as they did he could feel the barriers that he'd set up to keep himself safe from others begin to crumble. The freedom he felt from that was overwhelming. He stared at her picture as it slowly became blurred, wiping his eyes on his shoulder again, only not because he was sweaty.

Anna sensed she had said the right thing by his silence, which delighted her. "You do know of course," she teased, "that doesn't take into account other women. That's a whole other slip. Then I would have to kill you, plain and simple."

Steve laughed, loving her sense of humor, but also knew her temper when she was really angry. He'd only seen a couple of times but it fierce. "No worries there," he assured her, "I consider myself safe and sound in that threat." He looked over his shoulder again, assuming he was going to see Captain Hershey standing there with his hand out for the phone. "I gotta go Anna." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not ready to hang up just yet, but knew it was time if he wanted to keep this privilege. "I'll call again when I can. I love you. I miss you. Give Eric and Jenny a hug for me." He took her picture and put it safely back in his pocket.

"I love you too. Please be safe."

"I will. I'll talk to you soon." He heard her 'goodbye' before he hung up.

It was a good call, the best one he'd ever had. The smile on his face solidified it.

He turned, making his way back to the control room when suddenly the area around him lit up with flashing lights that reflected off the steel walls and glass windows in front of him, seeing the commotion inside the room as people fled from their desks, running in the opposite direction. It was then that he heard the noise behind him, turning his body just as the out of control helicopter came crashing down on him.


	17. Chapter 17

Anna laid back on the bed, setting her cell phone on the nightstand. She squeezed his pillow tightly up against her face, breathing in his scent and then rolled over still clinging to it. His voice from the call moments earlier was still floating around her.

"This is torture," she whispered. "Pure torture."

She closed her eyes, picturing him in his uniform at the funeral months ago as he walked toward her. He'd swept her off her feet that day and didn't even know it. It was so unexpected and she could still feel the attraction that she felt as he came and stood before her. Her hands were sweating and her heart pounded. She smiled, having felt that sensation several times where he was concerned since that day. She felt it now and he was hundreds of miles away.

She heard the faint sounds coming from Jenny's room as her eyes flew open and she sat up. She heard the whimpering getting louder and quickly got up, hurrying down the hall and into her room just as the nightmare intensified.

"Jenny!" she said as she gently shook her. "Honey wake up."

"Get out!" Jenny screamed.

"Its Anna, Jenny," she said, lifting her up trying to wake her.

She wrapped her arms around her neck and held on as the crying began. She mumbled incoherently words that were justifiable to her but not to Anna.

Anna slid her onto her lap and rocked her back and forth. "Its ok now. It was just a bad dream." She could feel the sweat on the child's forehead as she rested against her.

"They were in the car," she whimpered, "and it was going under water," she sobbed. "They couldn't get out!" She closed her eyes tightly trying to ward off the sight of the two of them but couldn't shake the terrifying image of them banging on the windows as it filled with water.

"It was just a dream. It's all over now."

The rapid breathing eased some but the trembling continued. "I didn't know what to do," she cried. "They were going under water."

Anna stroked her hair, assuming the obvious from her previous dreams. "Its ok Jenny. Mommy and Daddy are safe in heaven now. It was just a dream."

She looked up at her with fresh tears. "It wasn't Mommy and Daddy," she cried. "It was Daddy and Steve."

Anna felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up over that chilling confession. She stared down at the little girl, repeating the words, '_It was just a dream'_ over and over to her, holding her close. She closed her eyes and took her own advice, telling herself it was only a dream.

She hoped those words brought as much comfort to Jenny as they were to her at that moment.

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Carrie held on to the side of the ship's ladder with one hand trying to get down to him even though the last steps were broken off from the crash. Steve lay only a few feet away from her on his side with his back to her. The fire crew sprayed down the wreckage with water as it rained over him and poured over the side of the boat where he had been standing and talking to Anna only a short time earlier.

The wrecked helicopter had taken off and was barely out in the open water when it began to experience engine failure, trying to make it back to the ship. The fact that it hadn't exploded on impact was nothing short of an experienced pilot, all credit going to him for keeping it under control until it was too late and having the skill to dump what fuel he could over the ocean.

She carefully stepped down into a puddle and made her way over to him followed by a nurse. She pushed away the broken windshield that had been torn away by the fire crew to get the deceased pilot and badly injured co-pilot out. It was then that they found Steve on the deck. One of them tore off his dog tags so they could make the ID incase the engine caught fire and burned him, not knowing if he were even dead or alive at that moment. He tucked it inside his protective suit before climbing out to alert the medics.

Carrie shuddered as she reached down, using the side of the wall to balance herself as she put her two fingers up against his neck. "Please," she prayed, touching his cool, wet skin and holding her breath.

"Carrie," Captain Hershey yelled to her from the upper deck as he looked down on the carnage below, "is he alive?" he asked worryingly, not able to tell from where he was, but if he had to guess, he'd say no.

"Yes!" she yelled, looking up. "Yes, but barely. Get my equipment down here!" She pushed a piece of metal away and found an open spot and knelt down next him as her nurse recovered the items being handed down.

Carrie reached back and took a neck brace from her nurse and carefully slipped it under Steve's neck and then fastened it in the front. She leaned forward and braced her hand just above his head, looking down at his face.

"Oh God Steve," she winced at the bloody mess, seeing several small cuts on his face and a gaping wound on his forehead just below the hairline that was gushing blood. His left eye was already swollen shut. She used a large piece of gauze to cover the cut as it quickly soaked up the blood, becoming thick with red almost instantly. "We need to get him out of here quickly!" she yelled back up to her Uncle.

"We're working on that," he replied, casting orders to his men in all directions.

She replaced the gauze and began to inspect the rest of him, starting with his chest to check his breathing when she saw his lips move and his eyes flutter open as she used yet another gauze to stop the red liquid from running over them.

"Steve," she said calmly, leaning down close to his face. "It's Carrie. Don't try to move."

He didn't speak but opened his eyes a little more and stared straight ahead, completely motionless.

Carrie feared the worst. "Steve!" She put her fingers back up against his throat searching for a pulse. She had to press hard in order to feel the faint beat. "Steve!" She bent over him snapping her fingers, "Hey, stay with me!" His eyes moved up toward her voice and then closed.

The pain in his back was unbearable. He wanted to tell her but couldn't find the strength to speak. He didn't want to move and prayed that she wouldn't move him either. The cool water that had been flowing over him had actually been a comfort, but now that it stopped the pain set in.

The numbness in his hands frightened him even more, concerned whether or not they were still attached. It had all happened so fast and the last thing he did remember was the natural instinct to put his hands up to push away the object that was falling on him.

He heard Carrie's voice again amongst the ringing and chaos in his head and then felt a sharp pain his left thigh. Seconds later the pain stopped, a few more seconds passed and so did his concerns.

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He heard chatter and forced his eyes open, trying to focus on his surroundings, but only one eye would cooperate. The images were blurred as he tried to pick Anna out of the crowd as they hovered around him in what felt like a confined space. He waited for the pain to return but felt nothing but the gentle vibrating that was coming from the bed he was lying in. He'd experienced that motion before but couldn't recall from where at that second, not really caring to dwell on it any further, his mind became preoccupied by a different motion.

He felt a hand rest on his forehead and then glide gently back over his hair. He recognized that touch and knew Anna was there with him. He went to reach out for her but couldn't get the feel of his hands, fearing again that they were gone. His heart rate accelerated and the commotion around him did as well. Moments later he felt the gentle motion of her hand again and the sweet sound of her voice reassuring him everything was just fine. It calmed him almost instantly. He was beyond relieved that she was there with him.

Carrie reached over his head as the alarm on the heart monitor warned them of a quick change in his rhythm. She twisted the small nozzle on the IV hose, opening it up for more fluid and medicine to be disbursed. She was trying to keep him as comfortable as possible during the helicopter ride from the ship back to the base. She put her hand on his forehead again just above the gauze bandage and ran it over his hair. "It's ok Steve, everything is fine. We're almost there."

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Anna clutched Danny's hand as they stood next to each other just outside the gate that separated them from the military runway. Chin and Kono to their right. The tension in the air was thick as all four of them waited nervously for his return. An ambulance was parked a few feet away ready to transport him to the hospital.

They could see a large red cross on the bottom of an approaching helicopter, knowing that was Steve.

She tried her best to be strong and ward off the relentless tears, keeping only positive thoughts in her head.

Danny looked over at her as it landed, seeing the fear on her face that was justified as she stared straight ahead, fixated on the helicopter that was carrying him.

He'd only told her what they had told him and none of it was good, both of them hoping the extent of his injuries sounded worse than they actually were.

The door came open and two men came out dressed in flight suits. They stood on either side of the door guiding the stretcher out as a woman in green fatigues followed behind it, holding up an IV bag and then hung it on the pole that was attached to the stretcher.

Anna let go of Danny and took a step in their direction, pausing for only a second before she went through the gate needing to get to him. A guard quickly apprehended her, grabbing her by the arm.

Danny and Chin both yelled out for him to get his hands off of her as they went to her defense.

Carrie looked ahead at the commotion as the woman struggled with the guard. She took the picture from her pocket that had fallen out of Steve's as they cut away his clothes. She knew it had to be the same woman that was in the photo posing on the bed, his fiancée'.

"Hey!" Carrie yelled out to the guard as they quickly approached the awaiting ambulance, "It's ok Corporal, let her through."

He looked over, seeing her rank and quickly did as he was told. "Yes, ma'am," he replied obediently, followed with a salute.

The drivers of the ambulance opened the back getting ready to load him when Carrie put her hand up, telling them to wait a second. She watched as Anna cautiously made her way over to them, her frightened eyes fixated on the stretcher.

She could see the IV and two other bags hanging over the side, one was half filled with a light yellow liquid that had spots of blood in it. She knew that awful looking fluid was draining from Steve. It was shocking to see, but as she came around the front and saw the man lying there her shock turned to horror. She gasped, putting her hands over her mouth at the sight of him, not knowing what to expect when she did see him but at least she was sure she would recognize him. If the tattoos on his arms weren't visible she would have argued his identity.

Her eyes instantly filled with tears. "Oh my god, Steve," she moaned reaching down as her hand shook, trying to find a place on his body that wasn't bruised or covered with bandages. She pulled her hand back and leaned over as several tears dripped onto him while she kissed his lips.

"I'm here with you," she whispered to him. "You're home now, you're safe. I'll take care of you. I love you so much." She looked up feeling a hand on her shoulder, seeing Carrie through her blurred tears.

"We're taking him to Queen's," she said to her and then looked up at Danny for clarification, seeing the stunned look in Anna's eyes, not sure if she even heard her.

Danny nodded his understanding, but was just as stunned over the condition of his partner and best friend as Ana was. "Ok," he verbally acknowledged her, taking a hold of Anna's arm and gently pulling her away. "Anna come with me," he explained as he tried to separate her from Steve, "we'll be right behind them, ok."

"No," she yanked her arm away, "I have to stay with him," she cried. "I have to stay with him. Please!" she begged, looking from Danny to Carrie, pleading with her.

Carrie held her hand up, not able to tell her no, seeing the desperation in her voice and on her face. "It's ok. We'll make room for her."

"Thank you," she said, following behind them as they loaded him into the back of the ambulance. Once inside she sat down on the bench seat next to him, putting a hand on his bare shoulder that had scrape marks on it. His hands were both bound in thick white bandages. "Is he going to be all right?" she asked, her voice expressing the same fear as her expression.

Carrie smiled over at her. "He's tough as nails, but you probably already know that. He had some internal bleeding but I think I got that under control back on the ship." She pointed at the bag with the yellow liquid, "The leakage you see there, that's coming from his lungs, but even that has slowed and his breathing is shallow but deep since we took off over two hours ago." She reached over gently patting her hand. "He's healing as we speak. Like I said, he's tough as nails. You should see the helicopter that hit him, it didn't fair as well," she grinned, trying to ease her some.

Anna smiled and laughed through fresh tears. "He is strong," she said as if that was the gospel truth. "He can fight through anything." She put her hand on his head, stroking him, "He's going to be just fine."

Carrie nodded, "See, you do know him." She reached in her pocket and took out the photo. "Here, this fell out of his pocket when we were getting his clothes off. I think he'll want this back. I'm pretty positive he'll defiantly want this back," she corrected as Anna took it from her.

Anna blushed when she saw what it was, laying it upside down on her leg. "He said he kept it in his pocket," she smiled down at him with her hand still on him. "I didn't think he was serious."

"He was serious. He was serious about you and the kids too. We talked about it and he showed me pictures on his phone of the three of you." She recalled his enthusiasm as he described each one of them. "I've never seen him happier than he was when he talked about the three of you."

Anna looked up at her as fresh tears welled in her eyes. "We're getting married."

Carrie nodded, "He told me that too. He missed you."

Those words were comforting to her at the moment. She looked down at him as he lay there unconscious. She could see the man she fell in love with more clearly now through the devastation; being reminded just how much they did love each other. She would get him through this no matter what, knowing he'd do the same for her.

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Steve slowly opened his eyes, steadily coming out of a three-day induced sleep. He looked around the room, confused at his whereabouts until he tried to lift his head. The pain that shot up his back was excruciating. He lay still again trying to take in shallow breathes as even that hurt. It seemed like every bone and muscle in his body was reacting negatively to the minor movement, punishing him for even attempting it.

Anna sat up in the chair across from his bed, hearing the change in his breathing. She went to his side instantly seeing the pain in his eyes through the black and blue that had settled in after the swelling had gone down. She picked up the white cord that was attached to the IV inserted into his arm and pushed the button on it as instructed by the nurses. She looked above his head as the monitor displayed the extra amount of medication that was being disbursed and when either she or the machine would allow the next dose.

She looked down at him and smiled as the painful expression eased with every second that ticked by. "Does that feel better?" she asked him, knowing he probably wouldn't respond. It was the third time he'd awoken in the last two days and the third time she'd used the button to relive his pain. "You can go back to sleep now," she said leaning over and kissing him. "I love you."

He stared up at her blurry image, assured that it was the sound of her comforting voice that was the cure for his suffering and not the medication. The kiss made him feel as if he were floating off the bed as all those muscles and nerve endings tingled with pleasure rather than pain. He blinked repeatedly, trying to focus on the angelic apparition that was hovering over him, wanting to see her clearly. He felt the next wave of the medicine kick in as his eyes became heavy, not wanting to go to sleep but also knowing it was useless to fight it off.

"That's right," Anna smiled, gently gliding her hand up and down his arm. "Just go to sleep. All is well." She leaned down and kissed him again as his eyes closed for good.

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Danny came down the hallway as Anna came through the front door of her house.

"Hey," he said, wiping his hands off on a towel. "I didn't know you were coming home this morning." His surprise quickly changed to concern. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes," Anna smiled, running her hand through her hair that was in need of a wash. "He had to go for an MRI so I thought I'd take this time to come home and see the kids before school and clean up."

Danny nodded, relieved over that news. "Well I just whipped up a batch of Danno's famous Jersey cheesy eggs, so come in and eat first. We need to talk about a couple of things."

"Is everything ok here?" she asked, following him back into the kitchen. "I'm sorry I haven't been more available Danny. I think maybe you should go tonight and I'll stay home."

Danny looked over his shoulder and scuffed at that remark. "Please! Steve is like my brother, and I can say without a doubt that when he wakes up he would much rather see your face than mine. And everything is fine here…" he scooped up some food on a plate for her. "Except for one thing."

Anna sat down feeling slightly guilty for spending so much time away from the kids and keeping them in the dark about the extent of Steve's injuries. "What? What happened?"

"Anna," Eric said as he came in the kitchen. "When did you get home?"

"Good morning," she said cheerfully, but it was impossible to hide the stress and weariness on her face. She had the same clothes on that she did the last time she saw him two days before.

"Are you going back to the hospital?" he asked.

"Yes. After I shower and clean up."

"I'm going with you," he said as if it were already decided.

She looked over at Danny as he pointed the spatula in his hand at him. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. He wants to see Steve. They both do."

"I'm going," Eric replied adamantly.

"Honey," Anna began in a passive voice when he jumped in.

Eric understood the tone as a verbal no before she even said it. "I'm going!" he argued. "I don't care what you say."

She looked over at Danny again for help but he just shrugged, it was obvious he was on Eric's side. "He wants to see him."

She shook her head, picturing Steve in the bed with tubes coming out of him and his face still bruised and battered, not to mention what lied beneath the covers. "You and Jenny should wait a little longer until he's better." She was afraid the condition he was in would frighten them, especially after the ordeal with their parents.

"I'm not a little kid like Jenny," he said angrily. "He's my friend and I'm going."

She was caught off guard by his adamant reply, knowing if she didn't take him that he'd probably try to get there on his own somehow, that's how determined he sounded. She began to think that maybe it frightened them more by keeping them away.

"Ok," she caved. "You can come back with me."

"Jenny wants to go too," he said. "She asked me last night if he was going to die."

Anna gasped, putting her hand over her heart. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry Eric for not being here." She felt the guilt ten fold. "He just doesn't look like the person you know and I wasn't sure if it was good for you two see him right now."

Eric winced over that but still held his ground. "I don't care. We want to go."

She nodded her understanding, knowing they just loved him as much as she did and were probably just as worried, cursing herself for being so selfish in thinking keeping them away was the best thing. "Ok. I'll take you both back with me."

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Jenny gripped Anna's hand tightly as she slowly opened the door to Steve's room. They had moved him out of intensive care and down graded him from critical to serious condition that morning, which the doctor claimed was excellent news and he was more than pleased over his recovery so far. The only issue that concerned him now was his injured back. He had two slipped disks that were going to cause him a great deal of pain and discomfort until they healed and he was strong enough to begin physical therapy, until then the only relief was going to be the pain medication, which was being distributed on a semi hourly rate depending on the his discomfort level. He allowed the nurses to show Anna how to disburse an extra low amount if Steve awoke in pain.

Jenny squeezed the picture she'd made for him, crumpling the edges in her fist. The room was quiet except for a steady humming sound coming from the machines that fed him intravenously. She and Eric both hovered close on either side of Anna as they approached the bed.

Jenny stopped, too frightened to go any closer, seeing already the wounds on him. But Eric didn't hold back, he continued on until he was standing next to him. He winced at the sight of the man whom he held in such high regard. He never thought he could ever Steve as anything but strong and resilient, but the person lying there was helpless. His eyes scanned the face that he barely recognized under the growing beard and bandage on his forehead that covered the thirty-two stitches, or the black and blue eyes that were actually black and blue, never really believing that quote until seeing it for the first time so blatantly. He scanned down his body seeing the cloth casts on his hands.

He looked back at Anna. "What happened to his hands?"

"He didn't break his arms or wrists but he did break two fingers on his left hand and three on his right," she explained. "When the helicopter came down on him, he put his hands up to protect himself." She exaggerated his efforts to remind them who was lying there. "He so strong he must have been like Superman pushing that helicopter away." She looked down as Jenny smiled over that comparison.

Eric did the same looking back at him. "Is anything else wrong with him?"

She came closer as Jenny stayed back. "He had an operation and they took out his spleen, but its ok," she quickly informed him, "because you can still live a normal life without one. He hurt his back really bad though. It's going to be a while before he is up and around like he used to be."

Eric nodded his understanding, glancing back at his face again. Just like Anna had, he saw through the injuries to the man who had stepped into the role as Father when he needed one the most. He reached down and gently rested his hand on Steve's arm, looking back at his little sister.

"Come here Jenny," he said to her. "There's nothing to be afraid of." He held his other hand out to her as she slowly walked toward him. "It might look scary at first, but its just Steve laying here and I think it will make him feel better if you were here too."

She came and stood next to him as he lifted her up under the arms so she could see him more clearly.

She held onto the rails of the bed as Anna scooted a chair up so she could stand on it. She stared down at him feeling every bit of his pain as her compassion for his injuries showed all over her face. "Does it hurt?" she asked, her bottom lip quivering.

Anna pointed to the IV, "Do you see that tube that is going into his arm?"

Jenny nodded.

"That gives him medicine to make the pain go away. It also gives him medicine like vitamins to make him healthier." She tried to explain the best she could with the knowledge she had to where a five year old would understand.

"Did he bump his head?" she asked of the bandage.

"Yes. He has stitches under there so they have to keep it covered to keep it clean."

She seemed satisfied by that. "When will he wake up?"

"I don't know. He's very tired and needs rest to get better."

"Can I touch him?"

"Yes," Anna replied, "but be very gentle."

She leaned over the railing and very softly touched his arm where the bandages on his hand ended. "I made you a picture," she whispered to him. "We're eating ice cream like that time we had some at the beach," she explained. She lifted it up with her other hand, showing him. "I'll put it somewhere where you can see it." She looked over her shoulder at Anna. "Can I hang it up so when he wakes up he can see it?"

She smiled, "Yes. I think he would like that very much."

She smiled over that. "I don't think he looks scary," Jenny confessed. She looked over at Eric. "I bet he lifted up that helicopter all by himself and moved it away."

Eric nodded, but knew that was impossible. He was just beyond relieved that he had survived at all. Just the thought of losing either he or Anna was frightening beyond words, recalling the panic that he felt when she told him the news to begin with. It almost made him vomit. "Don't worry Jenny," he said to her. "I bet in two weeks he'll be throwing you up in the air again into the water."

She smiled brightly over that. "And he promised to take you on your camping trip too," she reminded him, "and he never breaks a promise."

Anna stood behind them looking down at him, not feeling the same outlook as they did. She knew it was going to be a long road back and not nearly the two weeks that they had predicted, but she also knew that if anyone could come out of this unscathed it was Steve. He'd need her now more than ever. She looked at the two kids as they hovered over him, talking back and forth about all the things they would do when he was better. She realized just then it wasn't just her that he needed. She honestly felt that Jenny and Eric would be his strength to recovery more than anything else.

"You know what?" she said to the two of them.

They both looked over their shoulder at her.

"He's going to need our help getting better. All of us are going to have to be there for him."

Jenny nodded her head, "I can help take care of him. I can make him sandwiches and bring him orange juice. And I can take his temperature."

Anna smiled over the innocence but more so the eagerness she displayed to be apart of it.

"I can help too," Eric volunteered. "I know what that physical therapy is, its like working out. I can workout with him and help him get strong again."

She put her arms around both of them, "I think you're right Eric. I think he'll be up in no time and back to his old self."

The machine beeped as another dose of medication crawled through the tube and entered in his arm. He lay motionless as the pain medication did its job relieving him of any discomfort. He had no knowledge of the devoted people hovering over his bed, only the liquid substance that flowed through his body. To his subconscious mind, this was the only support he needed.


	18. Chapter 18

**_So sorry it took so long to update! It's been a crazy summer to say the least. I know this chapter may not please everyone, but it has a direction, you just have to wait out the ride. Thanks anyway for tuning in. _**

Chapter 18

Anna looked up from her book hearing the machine beep as another dose of pain medication disbursed. She glanced then at the patient as he lay quietly listening to the TV. She put a baseball game on for him since his vision was still somewhat blurry, although they were both told that it would pass once the slight swelling in his brain went down caused from the wound on his forehead. The surgery to remove his spleen was a major operation, but in the everyday life of the doctors it was a minor procedure that was a complete success. Besides the injury to his back, his eyesight had been the only other problem that they were concerned about, but after his second MRI, the doctor assured them it wasn't a permanent paralysis; an annoying one for now, but not permanent.

Steve reached up on his over bed table with both bandaged hands trying to pick up the cup of orange juice that was sitting on a tray from his breakfast. He lost the grip and accidently knocked it over.

"Shit," he moaned as Anna quickly got up before it overflowed from the tray.

"I got it," she said to him, picking it up and carefully walking it over to the bathroom and dumping it in the sink and then rinsing it off.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I'm all thumbs today."

Anna chuckled at his attempt to make fun of himself. She came back in and set the clean tray back on the table by his bed, wheeling it out of his reach. "Did you want water, or more juice?"

"Water."

She took the cup that was sitting on the table next to the bed and directed the straw to his mouth.

He took a couple of sips and then smiled. "How about some sugar with that water."

She rolled her eyes at his hideous ploy for a kiss, leaning down close to his face. "Would you like one lump or two," she replied playing along.

"Two please." He could see her face but the image was blurred as if he were looking at her from under water.

She kissed him once and then kissed him again, lingering close to him. "Anything else I can do you for you?"

"Lock the door," he smiled, "and crawl into this bed with me."

"That sounds like a fabulous idea," she purred, "but I'm saving myself until you are all better…and then my handsome prince," she kissed him again, "once I'm done with you, you are really going to experience the word, immobile."

He closed his eyes seeing the image of her in the picture lying on the bed. "That's good therapy," he whispered. He wished he could put his arms around her and hold her, but he couldn't even hold a glass of water. He could barely move his body, let alone embrace her. But soon, he thought, and then he was sure he wouldn't let go of her for months. "I love you," he said to her instead, his eyes still closed feeling that physical separation between them even though she was only inches away.

"Put your hands on me Anna. I need it right now."

She knew what he wanted, but more importantly she knew what he needed. She put her hand on his face and slowly glided it down over his neck, following the path to his shoulder, making her way back to his bare chest and under the blanket, careful to avoid the bandage from his surgery where they had removed his spleen, her hand continuing down the side to his naked hip and then repeating it up the same path.

His body tingled over the motion of her hand. It was the euphoric rush he'd been looking for; the same one that only she could give him with that simple, yet powerful gesture. Her hand rested on his face once again, only this time it was her voice that lifted him.

"I love you," she said before kissing him, not easing up with this one, but leaned in over him, giving him what they both had been craving for a long time.

He shifted his head, giving her better access as the kiss deepened. He knew then and there he wouldn't make it without her, maybe he could have, but he didn't want to.

He got lost in the feel of it, using his elbow on the bed to push up and get closer to her, but when he did the pain in his back erupted.

She felt his body tense up first and then he fell away from her into the pillow. She opened her eyes seeing the agonizing pain on his face as he tried to lie still, but seconds later shifted, trying to ward off the agony and find the right position.

"Oh god Steve," she whimpered, hating to see him like this. "I'm so sorry!"

He groaned through the pain not wanting her to take the blame, but not having the strength at the moment to even speak.

Anna quickly fumbled with the cord on his bed that would give him an extra shot of pain medication. She pushed the button over and over even though it only worked one time. "It's coming," she assured him, dropping it and putting a hand on his shoulder, gently massaging it, hoping to relieve some of his pain.

He felt nothing except the relentless torture that vibrated up and down his spine as if it were being pulled apart. A bead of sweat began to slide down the side of his face as he counted down the seconds until the medication would kick in. '_Hold on_,' he encouraged himself, '_just a couple more seconds_.' He held his breath praying it would end before he had to take in another one, even the simple task of breathing at the moment was excruciating.

Anna counted down the same as he as she watched him struggle. She was about to run and get a nurse when she saw him let out the breath he'd been holding and his body relax once again.

"Ok," he said almost out of breath. "It's over."

Anna wasn't sure if he was reassuring himself or her.

"Steve," her voice expressing her regret as she wiped off his sweaty face. "I'm so sorry."

He looked up at her blurred image hearing the remorse in her voice. "For what," he replied, feeling weak from the aftermath, but pain free, "that kiss was worth it."

She knew he was lying but appreciated the effort for her sake. "Here," she said holding up the straw to his lips, "take a drink."

He did as he was told, not feeling any lingering effects of what he had just gone through. He looked up at her. "Next time see if you can fill that water jug with a Longboard."

Anna laughed. "I'll be sure to relay that info to Danny or Chin."

"Is Danny bringing the kids up after school today?" he asked.

"Yes, and then I'm going to run home and shower and be back later tonight."

"No. I want you to stay home tonight and get a good night sleep in our bed, not a chair or whatever it is you sleep on over there." He glanced over in the direction he knew she was every night.

"I'm fine."

"I'm not asking," he replied. "I'm serious Anna. I may not be able see it on your face, but I can hear how tired you are in your voice. You need to get some rest."

"Steve…" she began when he cut her off.

"Please honey, just do this for me, ok?"

She'd been there six nights in a row, and he was right, it had begun to catch up with her. "Ok," she agreed. "I'll go home tonight."

"Thank you," he smiled. "Take the kids to dinner or something. They have to be sick of Danny's Jersey recipes by now."

Anna laughed, "He's actually a pretty good cook."

"Compared to who?" he said and then smiled brightly waiting for her to catch on.

"Very funny?" She stomped her foot. "I've been getting better."

"I know," he said apologetically.

"Just tell me, is hospital food better than mine?"

"No," held his bandaged hand out to her feeling her clasp onto his wrist. "I've actually been craving one of your peanut and butter and jelly sandwiches."

She moved her hand up and down his arm. "You sure are a funny guy after you get a dose of your meds. A regular Seinfeld."

"I am feeling pretty good," he said truthfully. "These few minutes after a dose are almost as good as jumping out of an airplane in full combat gear or rolling off the back of a rubber duck in the middle of the night with my scuba gear on."

Anna rolled her eyes at him, having no idea what a rubber duck was and didn't bother asking. She could see the extra dose of medication begin to take full effect on him. "What about sex? Almost as good as that?"

"Sex!" he shook his head. "Oh hell no. Nothing is better than being inside of you."

She laughed again over his blunt way of putting it.

"What about you?" he asked.

"What about me?"

"Sex?" The euphoric rush he got from the meds quickly turned on him, knowing with his back being the way it was he couldn't be with her like he used to for a while, maybe a long while. "Why did you bring that up? Are you concerned about me performing?"

Anna was caught off guard by not only the question, but also the way in which it was delivered. "What? No! Of course not." She looked at him wondering if he was joking again, but she didn't think so. "Why would you think that? And why would you even ask me that?"

He didn't have to see himself to know he looked like a mess. He had cuts on his face and knew the wound on his forehead was bad enough that they called in a Plastic Surgeon to stitch it up. For the first time in his life he felt self-conscious about his appearance. He couldn't even touch her. "Look at me. I'm not the same." He couldn't see her clearly, but wondered if all this time that she'd been there if she kept her eyes diverted instead of really looking at him.

"Steve?" she was stunned at the words that were coming out of his mouth. "You are the same. You're being ridiculous. Please tell me you're joking?" She stared at him, hoping he would smile and say something clever like he always did, but it wasn't coming and his expression seemed somber. She could almost see the word depression floating over his head. It was the only word she could use to describe the sudden change in him. It reminded her of her father when his moods would change so suddenly and for no particular reason. She was too young at the time to understand, but after his suicide when she was eleven she learned that it had been because of the heroin. She didn't put Steve in the same category as her father, not even close, but she knew what drugs could do to a person's thought process, and wouldn't let that happen to him.

"I'm not the same," he said again, feeling the change.

"But you are!" she argued. "Please don't start thinking this way. We have enough work to do with getting you back on your feet than having to deal with something as silly as me not wanting you in that way. I love you. Nothing will change that. I can barely stand next to you without my heart leaping out of my chest. Geez," she groaned, "I think about you all the time! Sometimes so much that my mind gets cluttered and I have to concentrate just to get back in a normal frame of mind. I mean seriously," she laughed, "if I had a dime for every time that I think about you…inside of me…" she whispered as if others were in the room that might hear her boldness, "we'd be billionaires."

How could he argue with that? It was uplifting to say the least. "Pervert," he said teasingly. "Got your mind in the gutter a lot don't you?"

"You made me that way with your wicked ways," she declared. "If you don't like it you have only yourself to blame."

"Hold on," he rebutted, "I didn't say I didn't like it, I'd just like to be able to give you some new material, sooner rather than later."

"You will," Anna assured him. "We have our whole lives to make up for these few weeks. And we will." She leaned over and kissed him again as he laughed over that.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you," he said sincerely, hearing that feisty side of her that could always put him in his place when he needed it.

"Don't be sorry. It was a concern. You got it out in the open; we talked about it, dealt with it, and put it to rest. Communication. That's how marriages survive. And if that's the truth, we'll last a hundred years."

Steve stared up at her image wishing he could see her. "God I love you Anna," he said even more sincerely, without a hint of skepticism left in him.

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Steve lay in bed staring at the door to his room, impatiently waiting for Anna's arrival. He'd woken up that morning with his eyesight back on track. His only regret was that she wasn't there with him to share the happiness and for him to finally be able to see the beautiful face he'd been missing. He wished now he hadn't insisted she go home for the night.

His eyes scanned the drawings that were scattered throughout the room that Jenny had made for him. He'd kept himself entertained most of the morning admiring them. He glanced at the clock on the wall across the way, and then focused back on the door. He knew Anna would have dropped the kids off at school already and would hopefully be headed in his direction.

Not seconds after that thought crossed his mind did the door slowly open. A smile erupted on his face as she peeked her head inside, seeing if he was awake or if she needed to enter quietly.

She smiled back at him and he felt his heart rate soar, assured that if he were still hooked up to the heart monitor it would have caused all sorts of alarms and send the nurses scurrying to his aid, only to realize it wasn't a life or death situation, only a man head over heels in love. She was even more beautiful than the image he was forced to produce these last couple of weeks since that day she dropped him at the base.

"Good morning," Anna said cheerfully, pleased over the bright smile he displayed. He didn't show any sign of the troubled conversation the day before.

"Good morning," he replied, pleasurably watching the angelic image as she made her way over to him. He wondered if she would notice as he kept eye contact with her while she leaned over and kissed him and told him about sleeping in their bed, and the pillow that had his cologne still on it. She then went into her normal routine of filling up his water bottle and opening the window the tiny amount that was allowed to bring in some fresh air.

"I have another picture from Jenny," Anna said as she came out of the bathroom, screwing the top back on his water bottle.

"Good," Steve said, "I've been admiring the others all morning. It'll be nice to have a new one to look at."

Anna pulled the picture out of her purse and then froze, looking over her shoulder at him.

"You look beautiful this morning," he said, looking straight at her.

"Are you…can you," she stumbled her words excitedly. "Can you see clearly?!"

"I see YOU perfectly, that's all I care about."

Anna let out a joyful cheer and quickly went back to his side. "When did this happen?"

Steve shrugged, "When I opened my eyes this morning everything was back to normal. I actually thought I was going to go blind again staring at that door waiting for you to get here."

Anna laughed, leaning over to him. "I'm so happy," she said before giving him a kiss. "One down, one to go."

They both looked over to the door as Steve's doctor came in. He wore the basic white overcoat with a stethoscope hanging out of the front pocket. His dark complexion proved that he enjoyed living in Hawaii as well as his attitude.

"Aloha," he said to the two of them, giving them a shaka wave. "How goes this morning Admiral?"

"Admiral?" Anna chuckled, "we've been promoted from Commander."

"Shhh," Steve said to her, "I like the sound of that. If he wants to call me Admiral, so be it. Besides, he's in charge of my meds, he can call me anything he wants."

The doctor laughed, "I like your attitude Steve."

"His eyesight came back this morning," Anna announced happily.

"Really? That's fantastic! Now we just need to get you out of that bed."

"When is that going to be?" Steve asked. "I'm going crazy in here."

"Well, that's going to be for the rehab hospital to decide. You're being transferred this afternoon."

"What?!" Anna asked, "Why?"

"It's a normal procedure," Steve replied. "Cheaper for the Government."

"More or less, yes," the doctor agreed. "Steve's injuries were life threatening so he was brought here. But once the threat is over they transfer to a rehab facility for his therapy until he's ready to go home." He put a hand on his shoulder. "How is the back today? Any discomfort over night?"

"Not really."

"That's good." He pulled back the covers, exposing the staples from his spleenectomy and then carefully removed the bandage. "This is healing nicely as well. There should be no reason that you can't be up and around in the next day or two. The best medicine for a bad back surprisingly enough is exercise."

Anna reached down and squeezed Steve's hand, "Well if that's the case then you'll be over this in two weeks."

The doctor then checked the monitor over his head. "Good! I see that you have five extra doses of pain medication that you never tapped into. I like to see that."

"It was nice while it lasted," Steve grinned, "but the discomfort isn't that bad anymore."

"Excellent. That's good to hear." He put the bandage back over his wound and pulled the blanket over it. "Well, this is our last visit," he put a hand back on his shoulder. "I hope to catch you out in the waves soon riding a six-footer."

Steve and Anna both laughed. "So do I. Mahalo for all your help."

He waved off the thank you. "I'll be sending over an full report on your recovery to the rehab center so they should be up to speed on your condition." He looked over at Anna. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me."

"Thank you," Anna smiled, reaching her hand across to him. "We appreciate that."

He gently shook her hand, wishing he would have won the argument to keep Steve at Queen's, but neither his administrated bosses nor the Navy were willing to foot the bill when the rehab could be contracted out cheaper at another facility. He was going to need a lot of physical therapy, hoping the staff at that particular hospital they were sending him too had rotated since the last patient he'd sent over there. They pushed too hard and wanted results too quickly, sending people on their way with a large bottle of Vicodin and a few exercise routines while the injuries were still in the healing stage, only to become worse over time from the lack of professional attention. It angered him that it was all about the money, the weak amount that the government allowed was never enough as far as he was concerned. Their motto should be, get 'em in get 'em out.

Steve seemed strong though, he thought, and his progress was coming along nicely and more rapidly than he had first diagnosed, so his concerns, although warrant, weren't as grave as others he'd seen transferred there. "Good luck Commander," he shook Steve's hand next.

"Thanks, and I will see you on that wave. Sooner than you think" He smiled; having no doubt in his mind that he'd be up and back to his normal self in no time.

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Anna leaned over and kissed Steve goodbye in the wheelchair as the attendant stood behind him, getting ready to take him to his first physical therapy session at the new hospital.

"Good luck," she said. "I'll be back at around six or so with the kids."

"Can't wait," he smiled. "Maybe we could all go for a walk around the grounds," he said, feeling confident about this workout he was heading too.

Anna nodded with an encouraging smile. "That sounds like a good idea. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She watched him get wheeled down the hall, just as confident as he was that it would probably be the last time she saw him in a wheel chair. They had checked in the day before and so far so good. He wasn't attached to the pain medication intravenously anymore, opting out for the oral method instead. She was proud of him for that. His strength is what he relied on and she smiled to herself when she recalled him saying her presence alone was better than any drug.

She walked off as they turned the corner, a little extra skip in her step. Everyday that went by got him closer and closer to home, where he belonged she thought, missing the presence of him in the house so much.

She walked past a room seeing four beds with servicemen in them. It was quiet inside except for the TV that was turned to some daytime talk show. She made eye contact with one of the men and smiled, but he just stared back at her with a blank expression before turning away.

She continued on, passing three more rooms filled as well. Two of them the televisions blasted out the same show. The men didn't engage in conversation in those rooms nor did they seem to care what they were watching, they just sat and either stared at the TV or slept.

She then passed the nurses station on her way out only seeing two of them. One came hurriedly out of a room pushing a tray of med bottles while the other ate her lunch as she scanned through a stack of papers, marking off each one.

The physical surroundings were the same as Queen's hospital but the atmosphere was noticeably different. Anna turned her head in both directions not seeing any other nurses. This time of morning at Queen's was always staffed with at least six nurses, one for every three patients. She'd passed at least four filled rooms, not even counting the one the nurse had just come out of, and there were only two of them to attend the nearly sixteen that she had counted.

"Excuse me," she said to the one behind the counter. "How many nurses do you have on staff right now?"

The woman looked up at her as if that was the oddest question she had ever heard. "Three. Why?" she leaned forward looking down the hall toward the rooms Anna had just passed. "Does someone need something?"

"No," Anna replied. "I was just…" she paused seeing the curious look on the woman's face become irritated. "We just checked in yesterday and..."

"Yes, Commander McGarrett. I know. Room fourteen. Officers are required to have their own rooms but not their own nurses," she replied bluntly.

"No, that's not what I meant. I was just noticing…" she paused again seeing the irritated expression on the woman's face become stern. She decided to hold back her question of the short staff supply and quickly came up with another excuse "I was noticing that Steve doesn't have a water bottle in his room. He likes to drink lots of water. So if you could please."

The woman stared at her for a second before replying. "Like I said Ms. McGarrett, your husband gets his own room, but not his own nurse. I get a lot of patients from the base and everyone on my floor is the same rank as far as I'm concerned and receives the same care as needed by their chart."

Anna shook her head. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know what you meant." She interrupted her. "I'll make sure he has a water bottle in his room. Okie dokey?" she said, dismissing her and going back to her pile of papers.

"Thank you," Anna said backing away, feeling as if she'd just made an enemy. She started toward the exit but the skip in her step from earlier was gone. She almost felt guilty for walking out the doors and leaving him there alone.

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Steve sat on the edge of his bed sweating profusely after being left there by the attendee after his first session. He didn't want to move let alone lie back. He was told he'd be sore from the workout after being immobile for so long, but that was an understatement. He pushed through the exercise even though some of the moves were excruciating, not wanting to complain. He was a soldier at heart, and soldiers didn't complain, especially officers, knowing there were other servicemen being treated there as well.

He was sure he'd had worse pain before and knew this was all a part of the recovery. The therapist had to know what he was doing. He did it for a living after all. It would get easier, he told himself, the same as any workout you just start. Everyday it gets a little easier. He just wished he was at that day because right then and there he was beginning to feel a little nauseous, wondering if the therapist or one of the nurses was coming back, because he was pretty sure he couldn't lie back on his own and if he sat there for very much longer he was going forward off the bed, head first.

He gripped the side of the bed with both hands, trying to ward off another shot of pain as the door opened, seeing only a hand enter holding a six pack of beer, recognizing it as Danny's.

Help had arrived.

He jiggled the six-pack, "Stevie want a beer?" he sang out in a teasing voice. He finally came through with Chin and Kono behind him. Chin held another six-pack while Kono dangled a bag of Malasadas donuts in her hand.

"We come bearing gifts," she said laughing, "Anna told us…" she stopped mid sentence as she came around Chin getting her first view of him. All three of them shocked over his appearance.

"Jesus Steve," Danny blurted out, quickly setting down the six-pack on a small table by the door and going to his side, Chin followed suit.

Danny stood in front of him and bent over just slightly to be at eye level with him. "Are you all right?" his voice ringing out his concern over the taught expression on Steve's sweaty face.

"I just want to…" Steve began and then bent his head down as another shot of pain coursed up his spine. He felt faint and instinctly reached out putting a hand on Danny's shoulder to catch himself. The sudden movement didn't help ease the agony as his body verbally expressed it with a gasping whimper that set off all sorts of alarms to the three of them.

Chin quickly moved in next to him, putting a hand across his waist as he and Danny both held him back from falling forward. He looked over his shoulder as Kono dropped the bag of donuts on the floor and ran toward them to help. "Go get someone!" Chin told her.

She turned on her heel and headed to the door, flinging it open as she went through. "Hey!" she yelled down to the nurse's station as she ran. "We need help in here!" She reached the desk, looking around at the empty area. "Hey!" she yelled, slamming her hand down on the Formica counter several times. "Does anyone work here? Hello!"

A nurse came out of one of the rooms down the hall, hurrying toward here. "What room?" she asked concerned but the expression on her face was pure professional.

"I don't know," Kono pointed in that direction. "Fourth one down. McGarrett."

The nurse's attitude instantly changed, knowing it wasn't life threatening as his condition was only a back injury. "What happened?"

"What happened," Kono blurted out angrily, "is that he's sitting in his room sweating like a dog in obvious pain! When was the last time someone checked on him?"

She followed behind the nurse as they made their way to the room. "We have several patients on this floor. He should have rung his alarm if he needed assistance."

"He can't move!"

They came inside just as Danny and Chin helped lay him back on the bed.

"He needs something for the pain," Danny said to her as she came around the other side, irritated that she didn't have some sort of relief already in hand.

"When was the last time you had a dose of pain medication, Commander?" she asked Steve, ignoring Danny and Chin's angry glare.

"Why are you asking him?! Isn't that your job to know? It's been obviously too long!" Chin said, gritting his teeth, trying to keep his temper at bay even though he wanted to shake her.

"Since this morning, "Steve panted. "About…" he paused, bearing down through another wave of pain, his voice stressing over it, "seven this morning."

"I'll be right back." She hurried out of the room.

"This is bullshit," Kono blurted out.

"How long have you been sitting here?" Chin asked him.

Steve just shook his bent head; eyes closed, counting down the seconds until it was over. It had become a repeated routine that always helped, only this time the ten-second countdown was recurring over and over with no relief in sight.

Danny put a hand on his shoulder, knowing him well enough to know that he was in serious pain. "It's ok Buddy. She's coming back with something, just hang in there."

Kono came around the other side of the bed after taking a towel from the bathroom and rinsing it under some cool water. She laid it open in her hand and laid against his bent forehead, wiping away the sweat and then moving around to the back of his neck, leaving it lie there, hoping to bring him some relief. She looked over at Danny and Chin, seeing the same appalled expression on their faces as she felt.

They all glanced over at the door as two nurses hurried in carrying supplies.

"Excuse us," the one that had spoken to Anna earlier said to Kono and Chin as she came around the other side.

Kono backed up. "It's about time."

"Pardon me?" the nurse said, glaring back at her.

"I said," Kono repeated a little louder, "it's about time!"

Chin took her by the elbow and guided her around the other side, knowing his cousin well enough that if the nurse had the gall to say something back that Kono might just blow up.

Danny backed up as the quieter one stood by his side and proceeded to run an IV into Steve's arm. "Just a few more minutes Commander," she said passively. "How would you rate the pain from one to ten?" she asked him as the other nurse reached across and slid the hose to the IV bag into the tube coming out of his arm.

"Ten," Danny spoke up.

"It's pretty bad," Steve whimpered.

She looked at the nurse across the way and nodded, "Open it up."

She put a hand on his bicep, watching his tense, hunched over body slowly relax and his breathing eased, all in under fifteen seconds.

"Ohhh, man," Steve moaned. "That feels good, whatever that is. It's nice." He lifted his head, laying back the rest of the way on the bed and felt like he was floating off the mattress.

Danny smiled as he looked up at him with a lazy, sleepy grin, knowing whatever they gave him was kicking in full force. "Feel better?"

"Better," Steve sighed, "yes, better."

"What did you give him?" Chin asked.

"Morphine," the angry one replied dryly, gathering up the discarded supplies and wrappers. "Next time you are in need Commander," she said to Steve, lifting up a black cord and showing it to him, "press this button and we will come."

He blinked several times, looking at it and then nodded his response, not sure what he was agreeing to but didn't care at the moment, he was once again pain free.

"I'll remind him," Danny said to her.

"Fine." She walked past the three of them not saying another word, still angry over Kono's outburst.

"He'll probably sleep for a while," the other nurse said as she taped the IV hose to his arm, keeping it in place. "If you need anything else, please just tap that button."

"Thank you," Danny said, "but what about his back? Is someone going to come and examine him?"

"The doctor already made his rounds today. Someone will be by tonight after dinner. I'll notify his Physical Therapist though."

She filled up his water bottle and set it on the table by his bed before leaving the room.

Kono waited until the door shut before she spoke up. "They aren't the most attentive group around, are they?"

"Well you let 'em have it, didn't you?" Chin chuckled patting her on the back.

"Just think if we hadn't shown up," she replied, her temper flaring once again, "he'd still be sitting there, or laying on the floor!"

Steve listened to them talking as he lay in complete tranquility. He had no pain anywhere on his body. He'd never had morphine before that he could remember, but liked it. He liked it very much. The pain from only a few minutes before was already forgotten, replaced with that euphoric rush he was beginning to enjoy more and more. "You know what?" he mumbled, his voice in the same sedated tone that he felt, looking at them as they stood around his bed. "I think I might just come in to work tomorrow."

The three of them laughed.

"Oh yea," Danny said, "You think about that some more after you come down from your high."

"What?" Steve smiled, "come on. I have to get out of this bed. Watch me?" He sat up, using his elbow as a brace.

The three of them replied urgently with a negative response, Danny and Chin both putting a hand on his shoulder, keeping him down as he actually tried to get out of the bed.

"Whoa!" Danny scolded him, "What are you doing? Lay down!"

"I'm fine," he argued, "I don't feel anything."

"If you move again," Danny warned, "you'll feel my boot in my your ass, so just lay still." He looked across at Chin as the two of them exchanged a look that pretty much spoke what the other was thinking, that this solution to dope him up wasn't much better than the condition he was in before. Now he was too mobile and too drugged up to realize the consequences.

Steve laughed over the reprimand but also found it annoying. "You can't tell me what to do," he said angrily, but still did as he was told.

"Do you want me to call Anna," Kono warned him, hoping that would settle him down.

Steve looked over at her as his expression showed his concern over that. She wouldn't like him going to work just yet. He knew that. "No, I'll stay here," he quickly changed his attitude. He laid back and closed his eyes, feeling more relaxed now. "I'll wait for her to get here and she can tell me if it's ok."

Chin patted his shoulder as if he were a child. "I think that's a good idea. Why don't you take a nap until Anna gets here."

He only responded with a nod, picturing Anna sitting in a chair in his backyard down by the water. It was a good memory that he had locked away, feeling content as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

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Danny sat up in the chair next to Steve's bed as Anna and the kids came in the room. Eric and Jenny both ran past her to his bed as she looked surprised over Danny's presence.

"Hi," Anna said, coming toward him. "This is a nice surprise." She directed her attention to Steve, whom she thought was awake. "Hi Steve, I bet you're happy to have…" she paused seeing him sound asleep, but what shocked her more than anything was the IV attached to his arm. "What happened?!"

"I thought you said he'd be awake," Jenny whispered loudly, not wanting to disturb him. Her face showed her disappointment.

Anna stared at Danny for an explanation.

He got up and went to the edge of the bed where they where all huddled. "Chin, Kono and I came down at lunch time to see him and I guess he had just got back from Physical Therapy…"

"He had his first session this morning," Anna informed him.

"Well when we came in he was sitting on the bed sweating buckets and in some serious pain. At one point he was about to pass out when Chin and I both grabbed him. Kono ran down the hall and got the nurses and they came in and gave him some Morphine for the pain."

"Oh my God!" She reached down touching his hand. "Is he ok? What did the doctor say?"

"The doctor hasn't been in yet."

"What?! Are you kidding me? First they leave him sitting here in pain and then they don't even call the doctor?!" She went for the door when he stopped her.

"Hey, hold up a minute." He put both hands on her shoulders, "Geez, what is it with you and Kono? Women!" he blew out a breath, "You're like mother bears ready to pounce if you feel a threat to one of your cubs. I remember once Rachel bit the head off some guy at a Yankees game for trying to steal a fly ball from Gracie. Scared the hell out of me."

"Danny," Anna said impatiently, "What is your point?"

"My point is," he began, wrapping an arm over her shoulder. "They took care of the issue at hand." He motioned toward Steve, "He's sleeping like a baby. Pain free. If you go down there yelling then it won't solve anything. The doctor will be by this evening."

She looked down at Steve as he slept. Maybe she had jumped the gun on his healing progress, they both had. She, as well he were just so anxious and ready for him to come home.

"I guess this may take longer than we expected."

Eric looked over at the two of them. "When is he going to wake up? I thought you said he might come home in a few days?"

"Yea," Jenny joined in. "You said we could go for a walk tonight."

"I guess it might be a little longer than we thought." Anna looked at his face again that showed a five o'clock shadow from the shave she'd given him that morning. He'd also lost weight since the accident, not a great deal but it was noticeable to her. She stared at the IV in his arm, feeling like they had taken two giant steps backward since leaving Queen's hospital the day before. She wanted desperately to help him anyway she could but felt helpless, and worse yet at the complete mercy of the people that were now in charge of his recovery.

She looked over at Danny with apprehension in her eyes. "Do you think he's going to get through all of this ok?"

He could see the worry all over her, and in the kids too as they stared at him waiting for his answer. They looked upon him now for guidance in Steve's absence, knowing he wouldn't let them down, or lie to them.

"Sure," he said with an encouraging grin, wanting it just as much as they did. "I think he'll pull through this just fine."

The silence in the room was interrupted as the machine above Steve's head beeped, dispensing another dose of morphine into his blood stream.


	19. Chapter 19

"One more Commander, come one you can do it."

Steve looked up at him, taking in a deep breath and then did his final five crunches for the day. He collapsed on the mat blowing out the breath.

"How do you feel?" his therapist asked him, tossing him a towel from the top of the pile.

He caught it before it landed on his face. "Pretty good." He used it to wipe off the sweat.

"Pain level? One to ten," He leaned against the stack of mats Steve was lying on, "and don't bullshit me this time."

"Five," he said.

"Ok," he patted him on his arm. "Roll over on your side." He helped him make the transition, putting his hand on Steve's lower back, feeling around the area of the injury. "It's starting to loosen up. Swelling isn't as bad as yesterday."

He helped roll him back over on his back. "You have to let me know if we're pushing too hard. I can't read your mind and all you service boys are alike. You never want to surrender to the pain so you just muscle through it. Its bullshit and it doesn't help in the recovery."

"Ok, ok," Steve said guiltily, "it's a six."

He put a hand behind his upper back helping him sit up. "That's what I thought. I'll have the nurse hook you up so you can get a good night sleep. You did well today."

Steve nodded, wishing the IV were in him now. He hadn't had a dose since late that morning and then by the time the machine was ready for another, he had to come here. He looked over at the wheelchair across the way, knowing he had to walk over to it. The therapist never brought it to him, and he never asked him too either.

He sat on the edge of the mat and pushed himself up, feeling a little wobbly but quickly caught himself before stumbling. He took his time not rushing it. It was easier than the day before and even better than the day before that. He sat down feeling a twitch in his back. The pain was a normal occurrence that he gritted his teeth through until he could get some pain medication in him. "Maybe tomorrow I can walk back to my room."

"We can try that, but let's not rush it. We don't need another occurrence like last week. I think your wife is still pissed at me about that."

He smiled over mispronunciation of Anna's title, but didn't correct him either. "_She was close enough_,' he thought.

The conversation between the three of them on the day after his first session Anna was about as pleasant as her anger was going to allow, which made both men cringe just a bit. Steve never intervened and let her speak her mind, knowing it was all for his benefit. He didn't go without a tongue lashing either as she learned of his dishonesty toward the degree of pain. He agreed to be more forthcoming and the therapist agreed to be more aware of it. That appeased her.

He loved that feisty side of her when it appeared. She was a tough broad when she needed to be, he thought amusingly. It just made him miss her all the more. He was anxious to get on with his life but more importantly to get out of that hospital. He wanted to go home.

The therapist turned the chair and began wheeling him out of the room. "How are the hands coming along?"

Steve lifted up both of them that were still wrapped up but only the broken fingers were now hidden under a tight wrap and he had full use of the others. "Good. It was a pain in the ass not having use of my hands before."

The therapist leaned over him. "I bet. No more catheter must be nice."

Steve groaned, "I hated that fucking thing."

He laughed, "Yea, guys always seem to have an issue when someone's down there messing around with the jewels."

As they went down the hallway Steve began to feel the same way about the wheelchair. It made him feel weak being in it. He hated having to be catered to every second of the day and worse than that he hated how it was disrupting everyone's lives around him. He needed to get back on his feet again, soon. He insisted that Anna go home every night now to be with the kids, even though he selfishly wanted her to stay. He missed her so much that sometimes he would wake up at night reaching for her before he even realized where he was. It was always hard going back to sleep after those incidences, occasionally opting for a dose of pain medication from the button to help relax him and ease him back into a deep slumber. It was a godsend on those nights, getting that euphoric high that permanently calmed all his worries and pain of being where he was. He was actually looking forward to another dose at the moment. It had been just over eight hours and he was due.

They came inside the room and all those thoughts were quickly diminished at the sight of Anna, Eric and Jenny all there waiting for him.

"Surprise!" Jenny jumped up and down excitedly. "We brought you pizza!" She clapped her hands over and over as Eric and Anna both laughed at her excitement.

"Pizza!" he replied happily. "Did you put worms on it?"

"No!" she laughed, going to his side and grabbing the arm of his wheel chair. "That's only for your ice cream. I put spiders on your pizza," she teased.

"Mmmm, " Steve rubbed his belly. "Big black ones I hope."

Jenny made a disgusted face, laughing. "I'm only kidding. That's gross."

He put an arm around her, needing this more than ever at the moment. "I'll eat it anyway." He looked over as Eric joined his sister as his side.

"Guess what?" he said to Steve with a proud expression.

"What?"

"I was watching this video on the computer about how to start a fire from scratch, and I did it all by myself in the backyard."

Steve's look of surprise was exactly what Eric was hoping for. "Seriously?"

He nodded proudly, "Ask Anna."

"It's true," she announced. "We dug a little whole in the backyard and he used only some dry wood and a piece of flint."

"Way to go buddy," Steve smiled. "You're not even going to need me on that camping trip."

"You're still going right?" Eric asked, having no desire to go unless Steve went. It was still over a month away and they both hoped he was well enough by then.

"You bet I am. Although it's starting to sound more like it's going to be a vacation for me. There won't be anything left to teach you at the rate you're going."

Eric smiled broadly. "Yes there will."

Steve looked over at Anna. "I'm glad you guys are here." He spoke to all three of them but was thanking her, and she knew it.

"We wanted to have a family dinner," she said, going over to the pizza box. "The table at home isn't the same without you there."

Jenny nodded in agreement. "When are you coming home?" she asked, but it came out more as a pleasant type of whine.

Steve sighed, "Soon honey. Very soon, I hope."

The therapist leaned over and locked the wheels on the chair. "I'm going to get out of here and let you enjoy your family dinner." He put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I'll let the nurses know we're back so you can get hooked in." He said it not using the word IV, but Steve knew what he meant, and so did Anna. She didn't want to speak up her displeasure over that with the kids in the room but was hoping he'd be going back to the oral meds by now. It had been over a week and they were still giving him Morphine.

"Thanks," Steve said, looking up at him over his shoulder. "Do you want a slice before you go?"

He shook his head, "No thanks, you enjoy it. You earned it today."

"I know," he said, "and I'm going to reward myself."

Anna slid a piece onto each plate as the kids sat on the floor in front of his wheelchair and she sat on his bed. She watched with pleasure and amusement as Jenny and Eric talked about what they had been doing at school, laughing at times over the jokes and teasing that Steve would throw at them. The conversation felt like home even they were in a hospital. It was a normal routine that each one had been craving since he left for the reserves before the accident. She smiled, seeing the side of him that she had fallen in love with. For the first time since the accident he seemed truly happy at the moment. She attributed it all to Jenny and Eric. They were like a breath of fresh air in this place that had worried her lately, feeling it was beginning to get the best of him. At times when she would visit he'd be so wiped out from the Morphine that he didn't even know she had been there. He needed to come home, she thought. This was the only medicine he needed. His family.

Her pleasant thoughts were interrupted as the nurse came in.

"Well lookey here," she said, smiling at the kids. "I didn't know there was a party going on." She acknowledged everyone in the room except for Anna, barely giving her a side-glance. The incident from the first day was still not forgiven, but over time she had come to like Steve, regardless of Anna's attitude that had become known on the floor, especially after the outburst over his care those first few days. Anna didn't like her either and didn't care if she or the others didn't like her as well. She'd made her point and realized being vocal got a lot of positive responses. She was about to voice up again, knowing why she was there.

Steve went to get up when Anna slid off the bed. "Do you really have to do that right now?" she asked, speaking to the nurse but her focus on Steve. She knew once the IV was in that their time together would be cut short. He'd be out of it in no time. "We're in the middle of a little family time right now." She spoke to him next. "Unless you think you need it right now. Are you in a lot pain?"

He hesitated getting up, pondering her words. "Not too much, but if I sit here long enough I'm going to get really stiff and then it's going to hurt worse."

She walked over to the chair, "Why don't you get into bed and get comfortable and then she can come back in a little while."

He knew what she was asking of him without her actually coming right out and saying it. The Morphine would take away from their time together. He'd end up falling asleep, but was torn over wanting that relief, feeling a pain in his back at that second, knowing that wonderful blissful rush was only minutes away.

She watched him shift in the chair as if trying to find a comfortable position, but knew he'd see her point of view. She was surprised when he didn't.

"It's getting stiff now. I don't want to get to that point were it's beyond the pain threshold." He leaned forward to get up as the nurse assisted him. He didn't look back at Anna, knowing it wasn't the decision she was hoping for, and he felt a slight pang of guilt over it too, but for right now he needed to feel the relief. What difference did it make anyway, he thought, if he were sitting in that chair or sitting in bed with the IV, either way he was still himself. He'd ward off the sleep until they were done eating. That would be easy, he thought assured of himself.

Anna saw the instant change in him the second the nurse walked in. He'd been sitting there only a minute before perfectly fine, laughing and joking with the kids and now suddenly his back was flared up so that he had to have a dose of pain medicine.

The thing that worried her most was that she wasn't even sure if he realized the change. She believed his pain to be true but wondered if it was more mental than physical. She didn't put up a fight, not wanting to have this discussion in front of the kids nor in front of that nurse.

Maybe she was wrong about it, she thought as she began to second-guess herself. She understood his need for it and the last thing she wanted was for him to be in any pain whatsoever, but her experience with drugs was something that frightened her. She saw what it did to her father, not believing for a second that Steve would go down that same path, but still, the experience altered her life and changed who she was forever. Even Alyssa didn't come out of it unscathed. To this day even in Hollywood where drugs were a somewhat normally, accepted social behavior, Alyssa found it to be distasteful and avoided them and getting close to anyone who associated along those lines. That was probably the only thing she and her twin had in common.

She had to turn away as the nurse inserted the IV and then twisted the little nozzle as it began to drip down. The kids both finished off their pizza, neither one thinking anything unusual about the situation; too them Steve was just getting his medicine that would get him home sooner. Anna closed the top of the pizza box and began to clean up the mess, knowing he'd be out in a few minutes. She wasn't angry just a little disappointed.

The nurse gathered up her supplies and left.

Steve laid his head back feeling it take effect. Not surprisingly the pain disappeared, all of it, leaving him completely at ease with his body and mind. These first few minutes were like heaven. It made him forget about the dreadful place where he was, but as the drug would have it he also forgot about the people in the room as well, until he felt a hand on him and looked over seeing Jenny next to the bed. He smiled down at her, his expression relaxed. "Hey sweetie."

"Does that hurt?" she asked, pointing at the IV in his hand.

"No. It makes me feel better." He closed his eyes, "It feels really, really good."

She looked at his face, squinting her eyes, seeing the change from when he was sitting in the wheelchair to now, not sure what to make of this person that was talking to her. It was Steve but he somehow seemed different. "You look funny," she blurted out, chuckling over his demeanor, thinking it was one of his games that he loved to tease her with.

Anna came up behind her, putting her hands on her shoulders, moving her away from the bed.

"Are you playing?" she asked him and then looked up at Anna. "Doesn't he look funny?" she started to laugh not understanding the Morphine was in full effect, leaving him completely subdued.

He opened his eyes back up again and looked at her. "It's just the medicine," he replied sleepily. "Make me a new picture?" he asked smiling lazily at her.

Jenny nodded, "Ok," she replied, scratching her cheek. Not only did he look funny but now he was talking funny too. His words were slow.

He looked up at Anna next, seeing the beauty just radiating off of her. "God you're beautiful," he declared. "You're so beautiful."

Jenny and Eric both looked at each other and smiled over the tender way in which he said it. They glanced up at Anna seeing if she were as pleased over it as they were.

She grinned, but knew something that neither one of them did. He might have thought it but at that second it was the Morphine talking, not Steve. She wasn't as flattered as they were.

Jenny touched his hand as he closed his eyes, whispering. "Is he going to sleep?"

"I think so," Anna replied trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.

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Steve woke up to an empty room. The used paper plates from the pizza were still sitting on the table by his bed but his visitors were gone. He tried to recall saying goodbye to them but the last thing he remembered was talking to Jenny, everything after that was blank. He must have fallen asleep.

He slowly pushed himself up, feeling the familiar stress to his lower back. He went to reach for the button attached to the IV but know it was too soon for another does so he held back. Instead he reached for his cell phone next to his bed.

Anna sat up, wiping her eyes. She saw the caller ID and smiled as she answered it. "976 dirty talk. Do you want to know what I'm wearing?"

Steve laughed, "Nothing, I hope."

Anna pulled his pillow up on her lap, squeezing it. "This is a nice surprise," she said.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep earlier. Were the kids mad?"

"Mad?" she questioned, "No, of course not. Disappointed maybe. It cut our visit rather short."

Steve sighed, "I know. I'm sorry."

"That's the second time you apologized. Do think that's necessary? I mean, if you were in pain and you needed it then there's nothing to be sorry about."

He recalled her wanting him to hold off on the meds, wishing now he had. "I thought I could stay awake. It got the better of me."

"That stuff always knocks you out. It just didn't seem like you were in that much pain…until the nurse came in."

He was taken back by her accusation. "What do you mean? Do you think I was faking it?"

"No, of course not, but do you really think you need the IV still? At Queen's you didn't need it but now all of a sudden it's become a daily thing, a multiple daily thing. I don't know," she sighed, "it's not me that's in pain so maybe I shouldn't be saying this."

Steve knew exactly where this was going. "Anna," he said calmly. "I'm ok. You don't have to worry about that, but I'll see about getting off the IV if you want me too." He knew of her father's addiction and suicide.

She closed her eyes feeling guilty for even bringing it up, but pleased that he would offer. It was the answer she'd been hoping for. "I'm sorry. I know you're ok and I know that you can handle it. It just scares me is all. I'm sorry."

Steve smiled, "That's twice you apologized." He used her own words to rectify the conversation. "You had a legitimate concern. You voiced it, we got it out in the open, talked about it and resolved it. Communication. Isn't that what you said made a marriage last?"

Anna nodded, speaking into the phone. "Yes." She felt her heart flutter.

"Then we're still on the right track."

"I love you," she said missing him. "And I trust you. I know how strong you are both physically and mentally. You need this for pain and nothing more. I understand that. Don't let yourself be in pain because of what I said, ok?"

"Ok, but you don't have anything to worry about."

"I know," she smiled."

He glanced over at the button on the IV and knew he'd had his last dose. He'd stop for her. At the moment he felt it unnecessary knowing he was in control and could quit anytime, but if it caused her any kind of anxiety then to him it wasn't worth it. He could live through the discomfort until the pills kicked in. They weren't instantaneous as the Morphine, but just as effective.

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Steve lay there after waking up a second time that night. He had his thumb on the black button trying to talk himself out of it.

"You promised Anna," he mumbled. He felt a bead of sweat slide down his temple as his thumb twitched.

He began to recite their conversation in his head, not recalling promising her but knowing it wasn't something she wanted him to do any longer, for obvious reasons. It began to annoy him that she would think that way about him in the first place. He'd been in an accident. He had a helicopter fall on his head for Christ sake. "It's not like I'm some junkie," he said bitterly.

His back twitched, as a painful spasm soared up his spine. "Shit," he groaned. His thumb tapped the button over and over as his conscience kicked in. He rated the pain from one to ten, considering it a three compared to others, but nonetheless it was pain and why should he have to lie here and suffer, he thought, when it could easily be resolved with a click of his thumb.

He could almost feel that rush fill his body with the liquid gold that had been sustaining him over the last couple of weeks. He didn't realize it but the pain in his back that he felt at that second wasn't from the accident, but from his body in stress and his brain telling him he needed another dose to ease the phantom ache.

Another bead of sweat trickled down his temple as he struggled with the options of what he should do. He pictured Anna knowing what she wanted from him, but she also didn't want him in pain he recalled her saying. "She said that," he whispered, trying to justify his need of wanting another round of pain medication He couldn't recite her exact words but convinced himself that was how he remembered it.

He tapped lightly on the head of the cord as he anxiously shifted in the bed, wondering how it had got so hot so quickly. He whipped the covers off, pushing his head back into the pillow. His face itched as he rubbed his hand over it, the gauze from his bandage rubbing across his whiskers. He growled angrily, tired and restless at the same time, not liking the feeling. If she saw him right now, he thought, she'd understand.

"God!" he groaned. "What is the big fucking deal. I want to relax. I need to feel relaxed."

He pushed the button and closed his eyes, shaking off the guilt. It was his decision and his decision alone. He counted down the seconds until relief, not taking into consideration it was the first time he pushed the button when there was really no back pain to ward off, it was purely a mental need.

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Anna came in the next morning carrying two cups of Starbucks and a bag of his favorite blueberry muffins, hoping the conversation from the night before didn't harbor any bad feelings on his part. She however felt bad after hanging up for trying to interfere with his recovery in a way that would leave him in any kind of pain. He'd been working so hard and never complained to her, or anyone else for that matter. The main goal that he strived for was to get home to her and the kids.

As she came closer to the bed she set the coffee and bag down on the table, smiling down at him as he peacefully slept. She went to reach for his hand to wake him when she saw the cord from the Morphine distributor in his hand.

She looked at him again and couldn't deny the disappointment she felt over it, but also had to do what she did best, and that was trust him. If he felt he needed it, then who was she to deny him that ability to relieve the pain, if that's all it was, wondering when the last dose was that he'd taken.

She looked at the machine above his head knowing the right button to push to see the time lapse of how often he'd requested it. She glanced over her shoulder at the door not sure if it was ok or not, and then down at him before she reached up and pushed it.

The small screen displayed the doses over the last twenty-four hours in order, but she was most interested in the last twelve. She pushed the button again and it showed the night before at 5:02 pm, which was when she and the kids were there. She pushed it again, showing a dose at 1:06 am . They had spoken last at around midnight. The same time he had told her he wouldn't take it anymore. She pushed it again showing 3:14 am and the words 'time lock' appeared. She knew that meant he had tried for another dose but was denied. She pushed it several more times seeing the words 'time lock' showing again until the last one at 9:16 that morning, only fifteen minutes before she got there.

She looked down at his face again and knew the peaceful expression that he wore wasn't due to a natural state. She touched his cheek with the back of her hand, slowly gliding it down over his overgrown whiskers, knowing he wouldn't wake up for a couple of hours at least. It was bittersweet, knowing he was at rest and with no pain, yet she couldn't deny her own concern that he might be getting just a little too comfortable with the drug.

She sat down in the chair by the bed and stared at him, arguing with herself. "_He knows what he needs. You need to trust him. He's ever let you down before. Trust him_." She took in a deep breath and let it out, feeling better as she continued to talk herself out of the disappointment. "_He's nothing like Dad was_."

She reached through the bars and touched his arm, feeling his warmth as she smiled at him, giving in to the two things that gave her the relief she was looking for. "I love you and I trust you," she whispered to him, letting go her fear.


	20. Chapter 20

Anna took Steve's hand in hers as they left the hospital together. It was the happiest she could recall being in a long time. It had been a difficult month since the accident but she was ready to put it behind them and get on with their lives together. Her next order of business would be the wedding. She'd put aside any plans or ideas, using all her energy and time seeing to his needs as well the accommodations for his return home.

They decided that it would be best for him to stay at her house until he was back on his feet, or permanently reside there, deciding on the date of the wedding. They had yet to discuss any future plans as far as living arrangements, knowing how much he loved his house. With the money they got from selling her house, she thought, they could build on to his and make it what they wanted. Whatever the decision, she could have cared less either way, as long as she was with him.

She squeezed his hand smiling over at him, getting a smile back.

He felt like he was suffocating under the duress of leaving the hospital, having become dependent on the very place that he had considered a prison on most days. He tightened the grip on the bag in his right hand that carried a supply of Morphine in pill form that he was told would last two weeks. It was all he could think about at the moment as he walked toward the car with Anna, leaving behind the security of being able to have an endless supply of pain relief. He'd just taken two pills ten minutes prior, but felt nothing as he did when he was allowed to push the button. It wasn't satisfying the craving he had, wishing that would go away too. He refused to admit that he missed the rush and told himself it was the outcome of a pain free existence that he was going to miss, declaring the other would be like saying he had become dependent on the drug and that wasn't true, not even by a long shot, he thought stubbornly.

The grip on his other hand was the only thing he needed, he told himself. She would take care of the pain and any discomfort that came his way. He let go of her hand and put an arm over her shoulder as they took their time walking. She let him set the pace.

"So are you my nurse now?" he asked her.

She reached up taking ahold of his hand over her shoulder. The broken fingers had heeled, freeing them of the bandages. "Yes. I promise I'll take good care of you."

He pulled her closer with his arm, whispering in her ear. "I think I might be in need of a sponge bath."

She loved that line and especially the way it was delivered, feeling it all the way down to her toes. "You're in luck, that's my specialty."

Steve let out a pleasing moan over that reply, kissing her below the ear.

She giggled like a teenage girl as they stopped at the back of her SUV. She set her purse down on the bumper and started digging for her keys. She glanced up at him to say something but was taken back by the stare that made her whole body tremble with excitement. It had been too long since she'd felt it. What he could do to her with just a look, it was amazing.

He pinned her against the back of the car, not able to wait one more second to feel what he'd been missing, even if it was in the middle of a parking lot. "I can't wait to roll over tonight and feel you next to me, Anna. Sometimes I'd lie in that hospital bed and I'd just ache for you. I might never let you go."

Her want for him was off the charts. "Please don't. Don't ever let me go."

She barely got the words out before he kissed her.

It felt wonderful being in this place again. They both soaked it in as the kiss helped nourish the love that had sustained them through this ordeal. They could put it behind them now, tasting that first bit of freedom after being restrained in a place that hadn't allowed them the spontaneous physical relationship they had become accustom too.

She felt his hand slide down her body as he pulled away. Both his arms went around her as she did the same to him. They just stood there for a long time and hugged each other, knowing how close they came to never being in this place again, especially Anna. She wondered again for the thousandth time how she would ever live without him.

Steve looked over her shoulder at the small duffel bag filled with his things, staring at the pocket that held the medication. His body was currently feeding off the dose that had finally kicked in, but his mind was already preparing for the next supply, counting down the minutes as he stared at it, calculating the exact time when it suddenly dawned on him that he didn't have to wait. He'd become so mindset over the machine being his time clock and having to physically count down the minutes between doses, that the idea of just taking another pill ahead of schedule never occurred to him.

Anna pulled back away from him, putting a hand on his slightly bearded face. "We need to get you and a razor together soon," she chuckled, gently rubbing her fingers over it. "I love you, but I need to see that handsome face." She looked up at him as he continued to stare over her shoulder as if his mind were elsewhere. "Steve?"

He focused back on her, smiling at the vision as well as his newfound revelation. "What?"

"Can I shave you, or do you want to keep the beard going?"

His attention diverted from the pills, seeing only her at that second. "Let's go home Anna," he said instead. "Just take me home and you can do whatever you want with me." It wasn't said as a joke or a come on, he meant it wholeheartedly and she knew it.

She stood up on her toes and kissed him for it.

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Anna stood in the bathroom before him, slowly peeling her clothes off, beginning with her shirt and exposing her braless chest beneath it. He leaned back, bracing his hands on the counter watching her with great amusement.

She undid the buttons on her shorts next, grinning at him before she bent over, pushing them and her panties down until they dropped on the floor. She stood back up completely naked and stepped out of them, shoving them to the side.

They stared at one another with candid smiles until he broke free of it and scanned her body, admiring the work of art that had left him some nights dehydrated and weak. He reached out for her hand, holding it in his, toying with her fingers as he continued to take in all the beauty that had eluded him for the past month.

"You're even more perfect than I remembered." He locked eyes with her again as she came closer, taking the bottom of his shirt and carefully raising it over his head.

"Do you want to make love first or do you want to take a shower first?" she asked, pulling on the tie of his shorts.

"What do you think?" he replied, licking his lips as his hands began to explore her. "I might need a shower first but I need this more."

Anna gasped in a breath as his hand slid between her thighs and began to gently caress her.

He watched as her expression weakened, being completely taken in by what he was doing to her. He could feel what she was feeling even though neither of her hands was touching him at that moment. She kept her gaze locked on him as her hand slid down her own body over her breasts until they came to rest over his hand that was massaging her. It was one of the most erotic moments he'd ever experienced as his want for her shot through the roof.

His cupped the back of her neck, pulling her in as he devoured her lips with a kiss that spoke of his need for her.

They were both on the same page as the intensity of it increased full force. They switched positions and she was now against the counter, scooting back as she pushed the toiletry items out the way, some going gracefully while others landed on the floor and in the sink, neither one caring enough to break from the kiss that was only gaining momentum. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling down on his shorts at the same time.

He put an arm around her waist and slid her to the edge, which was the perfect height, wondering why they had never partaken in this place before. He felt her hands on him then in the most pleasing way as she guided them together.

Anna gasped as he slid into her, the sweet familiarity of him returning in one swift motion. It was all she could do not to scream out her pleasure over it.

He fell forward bracing his other hand on the mirror as the moment became torrid over their desire to get even closer to the other.

She gripped the side of the counter with one hand and the back of his neck with other as he tore into her over and over. She prayed his back would hold out because what he was doing to her at the moment she never wanted to end.

He only felt her and not once did he even consider the pain. The second dose of medication he'd taken and his adrenaline was taking care of any discomfort that might have arisen over their liaison. Even if he had felt it, the need for her still would have won the battle.

She felt light headed as the friction began to heat up from her insides, spreading through her at a pace like nothing she'd ever experienced before. It wasn't just the sexual act that was giving her this much pleasure, it was him; it was all because she loved him so much. It was all about him.

The gratifying sounds coming from her echoed throughout the bathroom as she let him know she was there. He'd come to love these moments, pleased that he could still make her climax with little effort on his part. It was a huge boost to his ego, reminding him once again that she loved him and their want for each other was equaled. Nothing had changed between them.

He pulled her to the edge and felt his turn fast approaching, leaning into her as she used her body the best she could to help him along. It was only seconds later that he succumbed to it. She pushed up on her hands as he lifted her just inches off the counter, holding her there until it was over.

She could feel his heart pounding against her chest as he leaned forward still using the mirror as a brace but feeling weak from the aftermath. His hand slid down until it came to rest on the counter behind her.

"Oh my god, Anna," he breathed heavily, resting his head on her shoulder.

She stroked the back of his neck, feeling a slight sweat build up from the intense workout he'd just performed. "Are you ok?" she asked concerned, but was sure his statement was made to comment on the experience and not from pain.

He slowly lifted his head until he could see her. Her face still flushed from her orgasm. In his opinion it's when she looked the most stunning. "Am I ok?" he questioned her question. "I'm face to face with a woman that is out of this world beautiful and yet she loves, me. What do you think?" he grinned.

Anna bit her bottom lip, blushing over his comment but feeling the pleasure of it all the way down to her toes. "I would say that you're ok."

He nodded, leaning in and kissing her. "I'm ok."

He backed away from her, taking her hand as he led them into the shower.

She slid her hands down his back as he turned the nozzle on, not sure she'd be able to peel her hands off of him the rest of the night. She shrieked at the feel of the cold water on her legs, hiding behind him for protection.

The second the water hit him he cringed, instantly reminded of the frightening memory of lying on the deck of the ship. The terror he had felt while the cool water from the firehouse sprayed over him came flooding back. He reached over and shut the water off as the ache in his back flared up. He braced a hand on the wall of the shower and reached behind trying to rub away the throbbing.

"What's wrong?" Anna asked. Her voice stressing her concern as it was clear he was dealing with something that was agonizing to him. "Is it your back?" She put her hands around him afraid he might collapse. "Steve!"

"My pills, Anna," he whispered as if in agony. "Get my pills."

She quickly moved out of the shower scanning the bathroom counter of the mess they had left behind. Her perfume and his cologne as well as toothbrushes and makeup were scattered. "Where are they?!" she asked frantically, knowing they had been there.

She'd watched him take another dose earlier trying not to be critical of it knowing he'd just had some before leaving the hospital as well, but her concern wasn't there this time. She saw him in pain and wanted nothing more than for it to end.

She dropped down on the floor on her hands and knees, searching through the mess and then saw them lying by the toilet.

She quickly crawled over and picked them up, cursing the childproof cap as she tried with shaky hands to get the top off.

She shook out two into her hand and stood up, going to him in the shower as he stood in the same position with a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. "Here," she said holding them out in her hand.

He looked down seeing them and almost instantly felt relief just over the thought of them.

He flipped his head back letting them slide down his dry throat as Anna handed him a cup of water from the glass that had survived the storm on the counter. He took a drink and handed it back to her.

She put a hand on his shoulder gently caressing him, "Are you ok? What can I do?"

The fear over his ordeal began to settle knowing there was no reason for it anymore, still the fact that it had come on so suddenly was alarming. He'd never experienced a panic attack before, assured that's what it was. He looked over at the concern all over Anna's face, trying to play down what had just happened. "I'm fine. I think my back is just punishing me for that stunt on the counter," he smiled.

Anna rested her forehead on his shoulder realizing that just because they were home from the hospital didn't mean he was better. "You scared me. It all came on so fast."

He reached up, slipping his hand inside her hair and kissing the top of her head. "Don't be scared. I'm fine. It was just a spasm, and those come on quick and hurt."

She looked up at him. "Is it gone already?"

He nodded.

She was relieved to hear that wondering if then the extra pills were necessary after all. There was no way they could have worked so quickly. She didn't question it though, trusting his instincts. The same she'd done while he was hooked up to the IV in the hospital. She never looked at the timing of his doses again, nor did she ask him. She had to trust him, the same as she did now.

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Steve lifted his hand and waved at Jenny and then he and Anna both laughed as they heard her happily scream his name from inside the school bus.

She pushed her way down the isle past fellow kindergarteners that exited on that same stop, trying to get out first. She jumped off the last step and began running to him, not knowing he was coming home. Anna had kept it a secret from she and Eric, wanting to surprise them.

"Steve!" she shouted again, slamming into his legs as Anna braced a hand on him.

"Careful Jenny," she laughed.

"It's ok," Steve said, putting both hands on her as she hugged him tightly around the waist. "This is the nicest greeting I've ever got."

"Are you home forever?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yep," he smiled, stroking her cheek. "Forever and ever. No more hospital."

She smiled brightly hugging him again. "I'm so happy!"

"Me too."

Anna didn't think she had ever seen him look more handsome than he did at that second. The pleasure over Jenny's excitement to see him was so crystal clear on him it almost made her cry. She stroked his back as he glanced over at her.

"I think your surprise idea worked well." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

Jenny stepped back. "We have to have some'n special for dinner for your first time back."

"That's a great idea," Anna agreed.

Jenny took his hand as they started walking back to the house. "What do you want?" she asked him. "You get to choose."

"Hmmm, let's see. What do I want for my special dinner," he pondered. "I know!" he declared. "Liver and onions." He rubbed his belly, "I love liver and onions."

Jenny laughed, knowing he was just teasing her like he always did. "I don't know what that is but it sounds yucky!"

"It really is. Maybe you better choose then."

She squeezed his hand and did a small leap in the air. "Pancakes! We should have pancakes."

"For dinner?" Anna laughed.

"Yes!" Jenny said, looking up at Steve for approval.

"I think pancakes sound delicious." He in turn looked at Anna for the same approval, "Can we?"

She shrugged, "Whatever you two want."

Jenny and Steve looked at each other with big smiles, squeezing each other's hand.

* * *

Eric held the same excitement as they all three stood in the same spot as Jenny as he got off the bus an hour later.

He was more cautious with his greeting than Jenny as they hugged, but his excitement was the same. On the way back to the house they talked about the upcoming camping trip that was only a few weeks.

"Do you really think you'll be able to go for sure?" Eric asked, almost pleading for a yes.

"I don't see why not," Steve replied.

"Awesome!" Eric made a fist and pumped his arm. "We are going to have so much fun. I told all my friends that you were a real Navy Seal. They thought that it was so cool."

"Geez," Steve cringed, "I've got a lot to live up to, and it's a good thing you've been practicing your survival skills so you can back me up."

"We're going to have the best set up of all the campers."

"Heck ya," Steve agreed giving him a fist bump.

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Anna flipped the pancake in the pan and then took out the one next to it, placing it on a plate with the others. She picked it up and turned away from the stove setting it on the table. "Get 'em while they're hot," she said as Eric reached over with his fork and stabbed one, dropping it on his plate.

"Jenny, will you tell Steve dinner's ready."

"Steve!" Jenny yelled out. "Dinner's ready!"

Anna looked over her shoulder at her with an annoyed glance. "I could have done that. I meant go get him."

"Oh," she chuckled. "ok."

She slid off her chair and ran down the hall toward the stairs.

He heard his name being called but laid motionless in the bed, staring at the ceiling. His eyes fluttered close as he succumbed to the medication that he'd taken a few minutes before. The pain his back subsided and he felt in complete solitude with his surroundings, being in reminiscent of that wonderful rush that he would get after pushing the button. He'd found the magical dosage quantity that got him to that sweet spot. At the moment he was in heaven.

Jenny came in the bedroom and up to the bed. She saw that he was sleeping and knew that he had come up for a rest before dinner. Anna explained to she and Eric before she started cooking that he wasn't 100% better yet and that it might take some time before they saw the old Steve that they remembered from before. They both understood, knowing how badly he'd been hurt.

She touched him gently on the arm, "Steve," she whispered loudly wanting to wake him but not wanting to startle him either. "Steve, wake up," she shook his arm this time smiling as he slowly opened his eyes. "Anna said to tell you dinners ready."

He could smell the aroma of the food but didn't feel hungry even though he hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning. The medication clubbed his appetite, but in the hospital it was a known side effect and one the nurses took seriously, making him eat whether he was hungry or not.

He looked over at Jenny and smiled, feeling glad once again that he was home. "I sure missed you while I was in the hospital."

"I missed you too." She pulled on his arm, "But we made pancakes for your first night back. You have to come and eat."

He wanted to make her happy, but wanted to just lie there and enjoy the peaceful feeling too, but knew he had obligations to them downstairs. He had to learn to live with the side effects, slowly pushing himself up off the bed. "Ok," he held his hand out to her, "lead the way."

She gripped it, using her other hand to help him up, being reminded from Anna's conversation that he wasn't all better just yet. "We can walk slow if you want," she told him.

"Ok," he got up carefully, not wanting to stumble incase he felt dizzy and scare her. "Thank you sweetie," he took her hand as she guided him out the door and down the hall as if he were blind and fragile.

They came in the kitchen and he smiled at the breakfast items on the table even though it was past six o'clock in the evening. "Mmmm, this smells good," he spoke truthfully, but the appetite still eluded him.

Jenny pulled out the chair that had always been his since he'd begun to eat with them, each person having a designated spot at the table.

"Thank you miss," he winked at her, taking the seat and pushing her chair out that was next to his.

"Hungry?" Anna asked, glancing over her shoulder at him as she manned the pancakes.

"Yes." He looked at her for just a second and then focused on his plate as Jenny stabbed two pancakes just ahead of Eric and set them on his plate.

"You better hurry and eat because Eric is being a pig," Jenny said. "That's his second pancake."

"I'm hungry," he declared.

Steve watched with amusement as they bickered back and forth just like they always had, enjoying it, not realizing how much he'd missed it. He was so caught up in it that he didn't notice the lingering stare coming from Anna.

She knew the second she looked at him that he'd taken more. What was oblivious to the kids was obvious to her, seeing that glazed over look in his eyes so many times before in the hospital. She turned back around taking care of the stove telling herself once again to trust him. She thought about the attack in the shower earlier, wondering if it had happened again. She turned the stove off and picked up the fresh plate of pancakes and set them on the table taking the seat directly across from him at the square table.

"How are you feeling?" she asked him.

He looked up at her from pouring syrup on the plate and grinned. "Good."

"How's the back? Any pain since earlier?"

"Nope."

"None at all?"

"No." He reached over grabbing a sausage link off the plate, beating Eric to it. He quickly popped it in his mouth as everyone laughed, except for Anna.

She smiled acting as if she were apart of the joke but didn't understand why he took the extra medication if he didn't have the pain. It was his third dose already that day, having heard the doctor tell him one to two pills every eight hours.

He watched her pick at her food as she stared at it. He knew her well enough to know that her question was more inquisitive than anything else. She wasn't pleased with him and he knew why. He looked over at Jenny and Eric and knew this wasn't the time or the place to explain himself.

"Hey," he said to her as her eyes came up and met his. "It's good to be home." He meant every word of it, feeling guilty for making her feel even the slightest bit of unhappiness.

She smiled, holding his gaze seeing Steve the man she loved so much in front of her, but also remembering having conversations with her father when he was high, and when he wasn't. They were two different people.

She watched him talk causally with the kids, hoping she'd never have to witness that change in him.

* * *

Anna wiped down the inside of the sink after cleaning up dinner as the others sat in the family room watching a movie. She felt a presence behind her and turned her head just slightly seeing Steve standing behind her.

"Hi. How's the movie?"

"It's actually pretty good. I'm getting to like these Disney movies." He moved to the side of, her resting his hip against the counter. "You should be in there with us but somehow you seem very preoccupied with deep cleaning the kitchen. Do you need any help?"

She shook her head, "No. I'm done actually. Let's go watch." She barely gave him a second glance.

"Anna," he said, taking her by the elbow as she tried to make her escape, "communication, remember?"

She didn't want to be a nag about this, especially his first night back, but she also couldn't shake the fear of having to go through something like she did as a child. She wouldn't put Jenny and Eric through that. She told him in the beginning of their relationship that they were her first priority, no matter what. It scared her to death the thought of losing him, but it also frightened her what it would do to the rest of them. She stood in silence not sure how to broach this subject when he did it for her.

"You think I'm taking too much don't you?" He knew he didn't have to explain himself, she knew.

She looked up at him, surprised but pleased that he was making it so easy for her. "Yes. I do." She stood her ground looking directly at him.

He didn't want to hear it so bluntly put, hoping she'd be a little more flexible in her answer, maybe saying he should be more careful or that she was worried about him, he could have smoothed those answers over, but the way she was looking at him now, he understood there could only be one reply from him that would appease her. "Ok, I'll stick to the prescription."

That wasn't good enough. "I don't understand, if you are not in pain, why do you have to take them at all?"

"I'm not in pain because I am taking them."

She couldn't argue with that, and by no means did she want to witness what she did in the shower earlier. She saw his pain then, she'd seen it for the last month and it was enough to last her a lifetime. She didn't know where to go from here in her reply.

He saw the struggle over her fear of her childhood and where they were now. She didn't deserve this and he didn't want to be the culprit of her unhappiness. "I'll quit taking them all together then." It was an easy decision at the moment considering he was at the maximum dose at that second.

She was shocked over how easy he was willing to stop for her. It answered her question whether he was becoming dependent on them. "No," she recanted. "If you need them for the pain, then take them." She shook her head, beginning to second-guess herself as being paranoid. "I'm sorry, Steve. I don't want…"

"Stop," he interrupted her. "Don't apologize because you were worried about me." He moved in front of her, putting his hands on her waist. "Look at me, Anna." He waited until she did. "You mean more to me than anything else. I'll do whatever you want. Tell me…what do you want me to do?"

He was giving her control, showing her once again his lack of dependency. She put her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I don't want you to feel pain."

"And I don't want you to worry. So what's the happy medium?" He leaned back so he could see her face.

She looked into his eyes, not seeing what she had earlier. "I want you to follow the prescription and nothing more."

"Ok," he agreed without hesitation. He pulled her in, hugging her. "See how easy that was." He felt strong at the moment, not having any qualm about fulfilling her wish, even though in the back of his head he was calculating time for when the next dose according to the prescription bottle would be.

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_He leaned back against the wall completely vertical, his gun held tightly in both hands up close to his face. He could feel the sweat run down the inside of his shirt as he tried to calm the adrenaline that was coursing through his body._

_ "Danny!" he shouted. "Chin! Kono!"_

_ The silence was even more frightening than the darkness that was all around him. He switched the light on above the barrel of his gun, counting down with swift shallow breathes before quickly turning the corner as the gun in his hand led the way. _

_ He was looking for someone that was a danger to all of them, but had no image in his dream of who they actually were, but they were there. He could feel him close by, keeping his finger on the trigger as he made his way down the dark hallway. The light flickered back and forth between the wood paneled walls that resembled an old farmhouse. With every step the fear grew inside of him until his hand shook, reaching up with his other to steady the weapon. He wanted to yell out for them again but was afraid, not wanting to hear the silence again. _

_ The door to his right creaked as it slowly opened. He quickly turned in that direction, swinging his arm around to the where the sound came from, flashing his light over something inside. He came back to the object, letting the light fill the space in the corner of the room as his whole body retched over the sight of Chin sitting up with his head slightly to the side, one bullet in his brow. Kono lay at his feet, her eyes wide open, but lifeless. _

_ "No!" He pulled the light away and fell against the door jam, "Oh god," he whimpered. "No, no."_

_ The bile rose to his throat as he felt a cold breeze wisp past him in the darkness knowing the culprit was near. He heard the footsteps behind him in the hall and rolled his body around out the door, raising his gun and firing twice. _

_ The light trail focused on Danny's face as he fell against the wall. His eyes filled with shock and pain as if asking him why._

Steve's eyes flew open as his body shuddered over the nightmare, gasping in the breath he'd been holding in his sleep. He scanned the dark room as if he were still dreaming while his mind tried to convince him otherwise. His other hand unsteadily reached over feeling for Anna. She stirred just slightly at the touch as he rested his hand on her thigh, letting the hysteria inside of him settle. He released the tight grip on the side of the bed and ran his hand over his forehead into his hair and then staring at his palm in shock, not able to see it but feeling the sweat that had come off of him.

He slowly pushed himself up and out of the bed, still feeling unsteady and traumatized by the dream. He made his way to the bathroom and closed the door, turning the light on seeing his reflection in the mirror. His eyes still showed the haunting look of what he had dreamt. He bent his head down over the sink and turned the water on, cupping his hands under it and splashing his face. He reached over for the towel next to him, accidently tipping his bottle of pills over. The childproof top that hadn't been securely replaced from his last dose just before bed came off and three pills tumbled out onto the counter.

He stared at them as the water continued to drip off his chin into the sink. He needed one, just one, to help ease him down from the nightmare that had left him tense and frightened. He mentally scanned his body for the pain in his back that would give him an excuse to take it, but there wasn't any.

Anna would be upset, he told himself. He closed his eyes, trying to recall the conversation but the gruesome sight of his bloodied partners was what he saw, wondering now if it wasn't he in the dream that killed all of them.

That thought startled him beyond words, reliving the fearful moment and then the shots that killed Danny, and the look on his partner's face over his mistake. It was a fear that lived inside every police officer whether you talked about it or not, it was there. His hands began to tremble as he reached over for the pills, finding that excuse, needing to relieve the tension. He put it in his mouth and swallowed it quickly. The mental relief was almost instantaneous but he knew only one would never sustain what he was trying to avoid and quickly grabbed the other two before he could talk himself out of it, bending over the faucet and drinking from the nozzle.

He'd done it and there was no hiding it from her now. How was he going to face her? He looked back up in the mirror at his reflection and his mind was reeling over how he would fix it. She would never understand what he was feeling. She was scared of the pills and he knew why, understanding that fear she harbored even though it had nothing to do with him. He agreed to follow the prescription only because he loved her and wanted nothing to do with being a part of that fear.

The words of wisdom that came to him were so vivid yet such a cliché that he never believed he could be a part of something so devious, but he had no other choice. He convinced himself that he was saving her from the fear and worry. Repeating the justification that would save them both.

'_What she doesn't know won't hurt her.'_

He'd fix the problem before she found out. All he had to do was replace the pills. It was as easy as that. Not considering it was a lie, it was for Anna's sake not his. He wouldn't let something like this come between them. He could fix it before she found out.


	21. Chapter 21

Steve sat up on the table in the doctor's office after completing his follow up visit.

"How was therapy this morning?" his doctor asked.

"Pretty good."

"Pain level?"

"Four, maybe five," Steve replied.

"Ok, if it gets unbearable feel free to take an extra pain pill, but just one."

"Actually," he said, stretching his neck back and forth. "I wanted to talk to you about that."

The doctor looked over at him from the computer that was stationary on the small desk, "Ok, what's up?"

"After I left the hospital the other day, Anna and I stopped for lunch." He shook his head. "I guess cops aren't immune because someone broke into our car and stole my bag that was in there, with my pills inside."

He looked surprised, but not so much over the theft as he was that he hadn't told him sooner about the lost meds. "You should have said something, I could have given you another prescription."

Steve shrugged, "I've been taking Ibuprofen. Not exactly the same relief but it brings the pain level down some."

He pulled out a pad from his pocket. "I'll write you another one."

Steve let out a silent sigh of relief over the handwritten prescription. He was relying on it, recalling the last one was the same.

He scribbled out the dosage. "I'm going to make it for a two week supply again."

"Actually," Steve countered, "why don't you just make it for one week."

He looked up at him, "Are you sure?"

He nodded, "One should be good." He gripped the side of the table not sure if he was making the right decision or not. The plan he had might not work and he could have just screwed himself out a weeks supply, but it was too late now as he handed him the piece of paper.

"I'm going to do you one better just incase," the doctor said. "I'll be right back."

The door closed behind him and Steve looked at the pen lying on the table next to the computer that he'd used to fill out the form. He wasn't expecting it to be this easy as luck seemed to be on his side. He glanced at the door not knowing just how much time he had. He picked it up and tucked it under his shirt.

Seconds later the door opened again.

"Here," the doctor said, holding out a small box to him. "This is a couple of days supply I got from a vendor. It's just incase the prescription runs out and you need it before our next appointment."

"Thanks Doc," Steve replied, taking the box. '_It is my lucky day_,' he thought amusingly.

"All right then, you're all set and I'll see you in a couple of weeks."

He went to put a hand on his back to help guide him off the table when Steve put one out, blocking him.

"That's ok, I got it."

They shook hands before Steve left the room as the doctor went to the table scanning the area for where he thought he'd left his pen, but it was the second one that day he'd misplaced, not looking too hard.

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Steve walked up to the Pharmacy counter and handed the young woman in the white coat his altered prescription. He set down a bottle of water too, "Hi. How you doing today"

"Fine, thank you," she replied, her smile widening over the handsome man standing before her. "How about you?"

"Days getting better and better," he grinned at her, pointing toward the water. "Can I pay for this here?"

"Sure. We don't advertise it, but I can ring it up with your prescription if you want."

"Thank you," he looked at the name on her coat, "Jessie." He returned the flirtatious grin as she blushed slightly, looking down at the prescription not noticing the altered number with the pen from the doctor's office, too caught up in the extra attention that was given to her. She wasn't used to that from men, especially men that looked like him.

"Four weeks?" she said of the unusual supply. "I have to call that in."

Steve moved his shirt and flashed his badge. "Really? I'm kind of in a hurry," he lied. "My partner's outside and it's my first day back on the job after getting hurt on duty. I was hoping to make this quick. I can come back later though." He went to take back the prescription when she recanted.

"You know what, that's ok. I'll fill it right now." She smiled up at him again. "Give me two minutes."

Steve smiled sweetly at her. "Thank you Jessie, I appreciate it."

She flushed again, glancing at the name on the piece of paper, "No problem, Steve. Be right back."

As she turned the smile on his face faded. He knew what he was doing was wrong on so many levels, even illegal, a minor misdemeanor but nonetheless. In his defense he stuck with his main objective. He needed to keep his original bottle at the right capacity.

He told himself again it was all for Anna's sake. The risk he took was for her.

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Anna leaned forward toward the mirror and applied a light coat of mascara to her lashes. She heard her name being called by Eric from downstairs to hurry up as she screwed the top back on, glancing at the bottle of pills on the counter for the third time and for the third time she told herself not to look.

He'd been home almost two weeks and the changes in him were becoming more apparent. He was different. She couldn't narrow that word down to a specific category but he was.

She caught him more than once up at night wandering the house, his excuse was that he couldn't sleep. His body had always lived off of just a few hours considering his lifestyle of being in the Navy and a Police Officer. He joked that it was telling him he needed to get back to work, soon.

She also noticed his appetite hadn't returned, even going as far as preparing the few dishes that she knew he loved and used to devour, now he mostly pushed it around the plate and ate only half.

But if she had to put one element at the top of the list, the one that stood out the most was his irritability. He'd always been an impatient person, it had almost becoming a running joke and a characteristic that she never saw used against her or the kids, but lately that was changing as well. Recalling the most apparent incident directed at she and Eric a few days earlier for having the TV too loud while he worked on his laptop going over some cases Danny had sent him. It was unnecessary the outburst nor the tone in which it was delivered as he stomped down the hall from the kitchen into the family room, blasting them over it. She told him so by the equally displeased expression she gave back to him, he quickly recanted and requested it again in a more pleasant way, but the damage had been done.

She'd trusted his word, telling her he'd stick with the prescription, but her curiosity over his behavior got the better of her and she glanced over her shoulder into the bedroom to see that it was clear before she picked up the medicine bottle.

She unscrewed the child proof cap and shook the pills out into her hand, counting them one by one and then trying to mentally tally the total to what he'd already taken when she heard him behind her.

"Are you ready, Eric is about to…" he paused seeing the pills and a guilty expression on her face. "have a heart attack." He finished his sentence even though he was pretty sure she didn't hear a word he'd just said over her shock and embarrassment of what she'd been caught doing. She did however answer his lingering question of whether or not she'd been checking up on him.

"Steve," she began to explain not knowing what she was going to say to him when he beat her to it.

"Its ok." He pointed at the pills in her hand. "Are they all present and accounted for?"

She shuffled them back into the bottle, "Yes, of course. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He felt he had her in a good place, reassuring her he was standing up to their agreement. He'd barely touched those in her hand since getting the other supply, keeping them at his house.

"I should have trusted you." She put the top back on and set them on the counter, too ashamed to look up at him.

"Is there a reason you needed to look?" Asking more for his own welfare rather than hers, not taking into consideration her words of trust that completely eluded him.

She slowly looked up at him, wondering now if his behavior changes were for a different reason altogether, maybe because of her and the kids. "Are you happy? I mean, are you happy being here?"

That question he wasn't expecting. "Of course. Why? Why would you ask that?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I was wondering if maybe we were starting to get on your nerves? You seem very tense lately and you've been spending more time at home."

"I'm here every night."

"I know but is that because you want to be, or because you feel like you have to be?"

"Is this because of the other night when I acted like a ass to you and Eric over the TV?"

"Kind of." She shook her head and sighed, "I don't know Steve, you just seem preoccupied all the time and we haven't talked about the wedding one time since you've been back." She looked up at him showing the worry that she felt inside. "Have you changed your mind and are afraid to tell me?"

"What?" he whispered in utter shock, not able to believe she was asking him that. "Anna?" he was dumfounded over this, but knew he must have done something to trigger it, not seeing the changes as blatant as she had. "No, I haven't changed my mind." He moved closer to her, taking her hand that had his ring on it. "Whatever I did to bring this on, I'm sorry. What did I do?"

His stomach began to turn, feeling the high he was on and the good mood slowly dwindle with this newfound tension that was unsettling. He stared at her waiting for her answer, not liking what he was feeling at the moment. It was chaos in his head. The shift in his mood was like lightening, changing in a flash of a second, and feeling each emotion as they ricocheted off of each other; shock, anger, betrayal and finally despair. Afraid of what might happen if she found out about his deception. He needed to be able to think straight incase he had to explain it to her, calculating the minutes down until he could break away and hopefully get to a pill before they left for Jenny's play at school.

"Steve?" Anna said to him as he just stared at her, not responding to a word she'd just said to him. "Steve?" she said again, only this time her voice carried the worry of his faraway gaze as if he were someplace else. She glanced at the healing scar on his forehead, dreading the thought that maybe his head injury had done more damage than originally thought, not having another explanation for this oddity that just seemed to come on at times, like now.

Eric appeared around the corner of the bathroom. "Are we going? We're going to miss the whole thing."

Anna put her hand on Steve's forehead, touching the wound. "You can stay home if you want."

He looked down at her, still not understanding what he had done. "Do you not want me to go?"

"Of course I want you to go. Jenny would be heartbroken if you weren't there."

"Then why ask? I don't know what I did Anna to bring all of this unwanted attention toward our relationship." His mood changed again to that irritable side, knowing with the two of them there and the rush they were now in, that he wasn't going to get the opportunity to run home he was hoping for. "Maybe its you that wants out and are afraid to tell me. You haven't talked about the wedding either."

Eric looked back and forth between the two of them, not liking what he just heard. "Are you fighting?"

Anna shook her head, not sure where this whole conversation had started and not sure where it was headed. "Steve, I just got done telling you that sometimes I feel like you are here physically but mentally you seem to be somewhere else, like right now. When you're standing right in front of me and don't hear me what do you think that tells me?"

He was trying to make sense of what she was telling him, not recalling her saying any of that or accusing him of that behavior until right now. "What do you want Anna," he blurted out, feeling like she was trying to corner him now.

"What do I want?" she asked becoming just as agitated and then remembered Eric was standing right there, listening to all of it. She didn't want this going any further than it already had. "I want to go watch Jenny's play," She looked up at him, "as a family. I want you to come with us because you belong there."

"Fine," he walked past the two of them, shaking his head. "let's go."

His annoyance with the situation grew as well as the frustration of not getting to his pills. '_All I did_,' he thought irritably, '_was come up and ask if she was ready! It was a perfectly good night until she had to lay all that bullshit on me_.' he tightened his hands into fists as he descended the stairs, stopping halfway as a pain in his lower back swelled from moving too quickly because he was agitated. "Damn it," he groaned, grasping onto the handrail.

Anna came down the two steps behind him, putting a hand out, "Are you ok?"

He shuffled his shoulder where he felt her touch, blaming her for getting him this way. "I'm fine!" He went to take another step and then stopped again, seeing an opportunity, turning just slightly so he could see Eric. "Hey buddy, will you run up and grab me a pill?"

Eric turned without hesitation and darted back up the stairs.

He spoke to Anna next but didn't look at her. "Is that ok with you, if I have just one?" he asked, but his tone was condescending and she knew it.

She wanted to cry over the confrontation that had turned what could have been a fun and memorable night into a tense and uncomfortable one instead, wishing she wouldn't have said anything at all. She blamed herself for going through his pills in the first place. It was what had started it all. She cursed herself again for doing it, and all for what, she thought angrily, he had been true to his word.

The guilt over her behavior took place of any concerns she felt over his, feeling like a nagging wife that wasn't being paid enough attention too, wishing again she would have just kept her mouth shut.

She went to apologize for all of it, hoping to salvage what she could of the night when Eric came past her with the pill.

"Here, Steve," he handed it out to him.

"Thanks, Buddy," he replied.

She noticed his tone toward Eric was the complete opposite of what she had received, almost as if he meant for it to be that way. She followed behind them somberly down the stairs and out the door.

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Jenny came walking up to them in the gym after the play. Her expression focused mainly on Steve as he smiled at her. She hoped she'd done well, having the most lines since she'd played the main character of her individual skit, which was a part of four others.

He bent down on one knee as she came toward him with his hand behind his back. "There she is," he said, "the star of the night. The non other than Jenny Jordan, future movie actress." He pulled a single red rose out from behind his back, holding it out for her. "Great job, sweetheart."

Her face ignited in a smile that told of how pleased she was. "Is that for me?"

"Of course. A stage actress is always given flowers at the end of a perfect performance."

She took the flower and hugged him around the neck tightly. "Did you hear all my words I said?"

"I did, loud and clear."

"You did a wonderful job Jenny," Anna declared, putting a hand on her head as she released Steve and went to her next, wrapping her arms around her waist.

"It was so much fun, Anna. I want to do it again."

"You did good, Sis," Eric said, standing next to them with his hands in his pockets. "Better than Aunt Alyssa. I bet you're more famous than she is someday."

Jenny laughed at that, but had another agenda on her mind. "Can we go for ice cream?"

Steve stood up and answered without getting an input from Anna. "Absolutely. You deserve it."

"Of course," she agreed, looking over at him and smiling, hoping to get one in return but it wasn't to be just yet. He'd avoided eye contact with her since leaving the house earlier.

* * *

They sat outside the ice cream shop each enjoying their treat. Both Eric and Jenny chose cones, while Steve and Anna each had a small bowl. Jenny spoke non-stop about her experience, explaining how it came to be and how they had rehearsed. Steve was more than pleased to listen, feeling the giant elephant that was sitting between he and Anna at the moment. He was still a little perturbed over her accusations and then not being able to back them up, especially after all he'd gone through just to keep her happy with the pills. He put aside his own needs of being able to nourish his body with the medicine he needed to stay pain free yet he still couldn't please her. It was her childhood issues that she was forcing on him, in turn pressuring him to make decisions that were not a part of his normal character, blaming her for the deceitful way in which he lied to get his latest supply.

Anna played with the half filled bowl of ice cream, not feeling the want for it anymore, even though it was her favorite and in any normal situation it would have been gone already, but her stomach was in knots over the silence between them. He sat next to her but she felt like he was a million miles away not even feeling comfortable enough to reach over and touch him. A habit that had become like second nature to her, but at the moment she felt she had no right to. She cursed herself again for not trusting him, knowing that's what he had to be angry about the most. She just needed to get him alone and apologize, hoping that would be soon because this separation between them was killing her.

* * *

The kids went into the house after Anna as she stood at the front door waiting for him to come through before she closed it.

Steve stood on the edge of the grass and pointed over toward his house with his thumb, "I'm going to run home and do some work on my laptop. I'm going back to work in a few days and want to get caught up." It was a blatant lie, but like always he felt she left him no choice.

She felt her heart sink to her stomach, "Ok. Should I leave the door unlocked?" wondering if he'd be back. He'd yet to sleep at his house once since being home.

"I've got a key," he replied, not sure if he would be back or not. At the moment he couldn't decide.

She stepped outside, closing the door behind her. "I'm sorry Steve. Please, I'm so sorry," she pleaded with him, never before feeling the need to beg for his forgiveness but at that second she felt she had to. The fear of him slipping away frightened her beyond words.

He saw the sincerity of the apology all over her. He felt it too, tugging on his heart as she stood looking so desperate for his forgiveness. But it was the rest of his body that didn't feel the need to rectify it right this second because if he did, then he couldn't make the trip to his house and get the relief that was pulling on him harder than the obligation to go to her. She could wait just a few more minutes but his body couldn't, besides he told himself again, she had put them in this position to begin with.

"Leave the door unlocked," he said before turning and walking toward his house, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, his focus solely on the space in his house where he kept his hidden supply.

Anna stood and watched him walk away, saddened that that was all he was giving her. She wasn't even sure what that meant. Would he be back before bed? Should she wait up for him? Was it a sign of forgiveness? It was the vaguest reply she could have asked for.

She went in and closed the door, seeing Jenny in the kitchen putting her rose in a glass of water and Eric standing half way up the stairs looking down at her.

"Did he go home?" he asked her, aware of the fight but even more aware of the distance between them since leaving the house earlier. They always held hands, or sat close to one another, and even on occasion they would kiss, sometimes he would catch them in a long kiss, but tonight they hardly even spoke to one another.

"He'll be back later," Anna said, forcing a smile. "Are you going to shower tonight or in the morning?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Why is he so grumpy all the time? Does his back hurt still?"

Anna came to the bottom step, "Do you think he's grumpy?" she asked him, intrigued that he saw the changes too.

Eric shrugged, thinking he might have exaggerated some, making it sound like he was always mad. "Sometimes I guess. Not all the time. But he's not like he used to be. He's different."

"You think so?"

He nodded, "Don't you think so too?"

She didn't want to go against Steve, feeling the need to defend him instead. "He just has a lot on his mind right now, Eric. I think he feels bored because he's been laid up for so long. That can be hard on a man like him whose been active his whole life. You know what I mean?"

He shrugged again. "I guess so, but it's not our fault."

"Just be patient with him. He's going back to work in a few days, so I'm sure that will help."

"You're still getting married aren't you?" he asked, recalling the conversation in the bathroom about it, not hearing all of it, but enough.

Jenny came down the hallway just then, holding a glass with the flower sticking out of it. She heard the question from her brother, staring at Anna for her reply. "Are you?"

The look on both of their faces told her of the importance of this relationship to them. They were counting on it, they needed it as much as she did. "Yes," she said, "Of course we are." She looked up at Eric. "We've just been busy with everything that's happened." She held up her ring finger, "See this. It's as good as done."

"When?" Jenny asked her.

"Yea, when?" Eric countered.

Anna shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know exactly but soon. It's not something you plan over night. A Wedding is a big deal and takes time. But we'll get to it I promise, ok?" She laughed it off. "Now get upstairs and get ready for bed. It's getting late."

* * *

She looked out the bedroom door for the last time before closing it for the night, heart broken that she was going to bed alone.

Steve sat at his kitchen table with his laptop open, but his eyes were focused on the house across his yard. He stared at the second story window of the master bedroom that faced the ocean, barely able to see it across his family room, past his yard and through a tree that semi blocked his path, but he could see the light on, knowing she was waiting for him, yet he sat where he was, a part of him liking that, knowing he should go to her but held back for just a while longer.

He leaned back in the chair not feeling any pain whatsoever. The extra dose he'd taken was for compensation for the stress that Anna was putting him through at the moment. It was the worst night he'd spent with her since their first date together, remembering siting at the table in the restaurant and just wanting to get up and run. She had been a pain in his ass that night too.

A smile slowly emerged on his face as he then recalled how that night had turned out and how every night since then had been. She was like no one he'd ever known. She loved him like no one he'd ever known. She was a rare find, asking himself on more than one occasion how he'd gotten so lucky, not sure he deserved it or was worthy of it and yet here he sat while she was there, waiting.

Just then the light went out in her room and so did his arrogant attitude over believing she was waiting for him, He sat up as if the fear of God had just blown through him, realizing the comforting knowledge of her being available to him wasn't true after all. What if he'd gone too far and she had finally seen the screw up that he was and had had enough. He looked around the empty house and couldn't imagine going back to the life he had before her and the kids. It was that fear that lit the fire inside of him.

He pushed away from the table and went for the front door.

Anna slowly opened her eyes, seeing him approach the bed.

Steve knelt down next to it, resting his arms on the mattress as they looked at each other in silence. He might have been angry with her but he couldn't deny that his heart was incapable of living without her. Seeing the light shut off just reminded him in the most brutal way that she was one of a kind, and he was replaceable. He saw the way men looked at her. She could choose anyone she wanted. It was that knowledge and knowing first hand the privilege of what it was to be loved by her that got him to his feet and in the place he was now.

He held back from touching her as long as he could before he finally reached over and ran his fingers through her silky hair that had been growing out to the length it had in the beginning of their affair. The red was still the same, which he loved. It made her unique and the color was sexy as hell on her, not remembering the last time he took the time to admire it.

She felt her wounded heart might explode by his romantic gesture that she needed so badly at this moment. The forgiveness was there so clearly by the way he was admiring her, not remembering the last time they shared an intimate moment such as this one. Her fears of him changing his mind shot out the window as he crawled into bed with her, pulling his shirt over his head at the same time.

Her hands caressed over his chest as his lips went straight for hers, not missing a beat as he rolled her over on her back while the kiss deepened into what they both knew was going to be phenomenal make up sex.

Neither was disappointed over the outcome.

"I love you," Anna whispered to him as they lay face to face.

He pulled her yet closer to the already vacant area between them. "I love you too." He meant every word of it, ten fold. At the moment she was his salvation, the one thing in this world that he could count on no matter what. "Let's get married soon, Anna. Let's not talk about it, let's just do it."

"Ok," she smiled, seeing the man she'd fallen in love with.

He felt like he was on cloud nine as he gazed at the beautiful creature that was nestled close to him. He didn't think he could ever possibly love another person as much as he did her at that very second. "You're so beautiful, Anna," he whispered to her with a kiss.

She hadn't heard that line or that tone from him in a long time, assuring her of his love. "Me?" she grinned. "You're like a walking dream with your rugged good looks," her hand roamed over his back, "and this firm body that makes me melt."

He smiled, never feeling comfortable receiving compliments, but from Anna it was a gift that he welcomed because it was just another way of her expressing her love for him. He couldn't get enough of that. He needed her and needed to know what he felt was mutual. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long."

"It was worth it." She touched his face with her fingers. "I'm sorry too, about what happened earlier."

"Do you still trust me Anna?"

"Yes," she replied, "I do. I won't do that again. I promise." She meant it from the bottom of her heart. It had been a mistake.

"Are you sure because if you trusted me you wouldn't have looked in the first place." He needed to be assured they were back in that place again.

She couldn't argue with that, feeling the guilt over it begin to build once again. "I know. I was just concerned. You hadn't seemed like yourself lately." She was nervous confessing it, hoping it didn't bring up the same argument as before.

"I'm not myself," he agreed. "I don't feel like it either. I think once I get back to work things will settle down and I'll feel normal again." He in turn knew the signs she was speaking of. The outburst to she and Eric over the TV was uncalled for, he blamed it on his lack of physical and mental activity from being cooped up all day and not being productive, it couldn't have been from the pills, he had decided a long time ago they were the only thing that made him happy.

"You're just going to be behind the desk at work for right now, right?" she asked, worried he'd try and jump in too quickly.

"Yes, until I'm ready." He felt ready now but knew jumping right back in wasn't safe for any of them. The nightmare he had about being in the house and seeing the bodies of Chin and Kono and then shooting Danny was still so vivid in his mind, giving him chills just thinking about it. He needed to ease back into the job.

"I think it'll be good for you too," she smiled, believing him when he said that was the issue. She snuggled up closer to him and closed her eyes, feeling at peace with their relationship. She didn't ever want to feel what she did earlier, it hurt way too much.

Steve closed his eyes, feeling her warm breath on his neck and glide down his body. This was all he needed he told himself again, and felt it at the moment.

He wasn't so sure the lies he told her over the pills was in their best interest anymore. He thought about coming clean with her, but decided that probably would hurt her even more. He decided that he'd just stop taking them all together. It was time.

He went to sleep for the first time not anticipating his next dose. He had Anna to cure whatever troubled him. She was all he needed.

* * *

The sweat poured off of him as he slowly eased his way out the bed, trying not to wake Anna. He'd awoken in a state of panic, assuming it had come on from a dream but couldn't remember it. He went into the bathroom and straight for the pills that sat on the counter, shuffling out three and quickly popping them his mouth, feeling the urgency. He cupped his hand with the cool water and drank from it, helping to ease them down his dry throat.

He washed some water over his face and looked up at his pale complexion, turning away from it quickly. His earlier decision to stop feeding his body with the pills was nowhere to found. He had taken them without even considering it.

He braced his hands on the sink, rocking back and forth until the feeling of relief would over take him. He knew it was coming, he just had to hold out a few more minutes. His knuckles turned white from the tight hold in anticipation of it.

"Steve?" Anna said, knocking softly on the door. "Are you ok?" She'd woken up feeling the empty bed next to her as well as the sweat he'd left behind.

He looked over at the locked door, '_Fuck_,' he thought angrily with a low growl, '_can't she give me just two fucking minutes. Jesus! She's like a fucking shadow on me_.'

"Steve?" she said again, hearing him growl, assuming he was pain.

"I'm fine!" he yelled out. "Christ Anna can't I even take a piss without you badgering me?"

She stepped back away from the door, caught off guard by his outburst, "I thought something was wrong. The bed was all wet and…" She stopped mid sentence as he came out.

"What?!" he asked. "I took one pill ok? You can go in and count them."

She shook her head in defense, "No, I wasn't thinking that. You're all sweaty." She went to put a hand on his wet forehead when he moved out of her reach.

"I splashed some water on my face. I just had a bad dream."

"The sheets where you were sleeping are all wet. It must have been a bad one. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he replied dryly, seeing the puzzled expression on her over his outburst that he blamed her for. "You have to get off my back Anna. You can't keep on me like this. I feel like a prisoner."

Those words stung and angered her. "I thought you were hurt! I'm so sorry if I disturbed you. Next time that I think you're on the floor in the bathroom I'll just go back to sleep and let you be!"

His out of character behavior was back in the blink of an eye as if the intimacy from earlier never took place. She'd had her fill of dealing with it, especially after hearing Eric's confession earlier that night.

"If you're feeling so confined," she replied, mirroring his tone, "then maybe you better go home. There's plenty of space there and no one to badger you!" She turned away to get back in bed as he came up behind her, putting both arms around her body, holding her arms at her side.

It startled her, never having him do something so reckless as grab her like that during an argument. "Let me go!" she squirmed as he held her in place. If an outsider would have been standing there they could have labeled it borderline abusive.

"I'm sorry for what I said," he admitted apologetically. "Anna, I'm sorry." She tried to fight him again, showing that feisty side that told him when he'd gone too far. "Stop," he said of her defiance. "Just stop. I'm sorry, ok." His hold loosened, turning into a hug, assuming she would concede like she usually did, but not this time.

She refused to accept the embrace, but didn't fight him anymore either. There was no point. His sudden change in behavior was so familiar it was as if she were living in the past, rehearsing a scene from one of her parents arguments that she had witnessed so many times growing up. She knew what was happening and wouldn't live in denial with it any longer. It was the only explanation. He was lying to her and she knew it now. She'd known it all along but just didn't want to see it.

"Ok," she agreed, hoping to appease him so he would release the grip on her. She slowly moved away from him and turned around, facing him, letting her eyes focus on the person he'd become and not the one that she wanted to see. "Do you trust me Steve?" she asked of him the same question she'd heard from him so many times over the course of the last few weeks.

"Of course I do."

"You know that I love you?"

He nodded, wondering where she was headed with this, but also knew her well enough to let her have her way this time. He needed to kneel to her. "Yes."

"Then stop lying to me."

He felt his heart skip a beat. "About what?"

She didn't say anything but just stared at him.

"Anna," he said passively. "What is it that you think I'm lying about?"

"The pills," she replied bluntly.

He pointed toward the bathroom, assuming she was countering his lie about only taking one. "Ok," he caved," you're right. I took two not one. I just didn't want to worry you."

She stood motionless and expressionless. If she had to make a guess, she would say that was probably a lie too. Her head was swimming with all the different scenarios that she'd chose to ignore. She had to stop trusting him and start trusting herself.

"I don't want them in my house anymore."

She stared at him, waiting to see what his reaction was going to be.

He'd pushed her too far. He knew that now. It was a mistake that was going to cost him dearly unless he could rectify it here and now.

"I don't know what you think it is between me and these pills Anna, but if you feel that strongly about it then fine," he agreed just a little too easily. "You want me to stop taking them? It's done." He went past her into the bathroom. She watched as he scooped up the bottle off the counter and took them over to the toilet, holding it over the bowl as he poured them out. He looked over at her as he flushed it.

He went back to her, shaking the empty bottle. "Done."

His casual attitude about it told her two things, either she was wrong about him and his behavior was all about his boredom, which her instincts told wasn't true, or he had another stash that she didn't know about and this little stunt was all for her benefit, just to throw her off.

'_Only time will tell_,' she thought.


	22. Chapter 22

Steve came down the Five 0 headquarters after almost a six week absence. He wasn't ready to report fully back to duty just yet, but wanted to get in the office for two reasons; he missed the hell out of the job, and he and Anna's relationship was constantly on the edge at home. He felt like he was doing all the work of trying to keep her happy all the while still having to sneak around with his pills because of her lack of confidence in him. It was taking its toll on both of them. Not only did he have to hide the extra doses he'd been taking to keep his pain level at bay, but now he had to hide all off it as well. It was exhausting at times.

He glanced inside Chin's office as he passed it first, surprised not to see him there, the same with Kono and Danny as he walked by there's, wondering if they went out on a call, feeling jealous over that, wishing he were with them.

As came toward his office he smiled seeing the reason for their absence.

"Surprise!" Kono yelled out as they stood by the entrance to his door.

"Welcome back," Chin added.

Danny held up a bag of Malasadas' as Chin and Kono each held a balloon that was in the shape of a helicopter. "You're welcome back breakfast party," Danny said, shaking the bag.

"Watch out for the helicopters," Chin teased.

"Yeah," Kono laughed, "don't turn your back on these bad boys." She held out the string of the one she was holding to him as she hugged him. "Welcome back Boss."

Steve laughed at all three of them, "You have a warped sense of humor, all three of you." He took the balloon from her. "I love it!"

Chin stepped up next, giving him a bro shake before they put an arm around each other for a hug. "Welcome back Big Kahuna. We missed ya."

Danny had spoken to him quite a bit in the last couple of weeks but hadn't physically seen him in almost two. He was a little taken back by the loss of weight as well as Chin and Kono but all three of them automatically attributed it to the accident and his lack of physical activity that he was accustom too.

Danny handed him the bag. "Eat these, you need some meat on those bones."

"The compliments are never ending," Steve laughed, taking the bag and looking inside. "Only a dozen? Those'll be gone in sixty seconds."

Kono reached over and stuck her hand in, "Give me one before you devour them."

"Take two or even three. Anna made me a huge breakfast for my first day back," he lied. She'd made him eggs and bacon, which he dumped half down the garbage disposal while she was upstairs.

"If that's the case," Chin spoke up, digging his hand inside the bag as well, "give me one of those."

Steve held the bag over to Danny who hesitated. "Come on, you know you want one."

He held his hand up, "I had four on the way in, plus I know you, you love Malasadas', big breakfast or not, you'll finish those off before lunch."

He folded the bag back up and went into his office followed by each one of them.

"Home sweet home," Steve smiled, taking a seat behind his desk in the oversized leather chair. "I can't believe how much I missed you," he said to it, rubbing his hands up and down the chair's arms.

"I think you hit your head just a little too hard bro," Chin said of his happiness. "You're just a little too happy to be here."

"I missed you guys. Plus I was afraid you'd start to realize you could handle things without me. Made me nervous."

"Well to prove you're needed," Danny said, "I gathered a stack of paperwork that could use your touch." He set his hand on a pile of files he'd left on his desk. "I sat in on your monthly meeting with the Governor and his flunky's." He shook his head as if confused. "I have no idea what the hell they were babbling about."

Steve laughed, "The trick is to nod a lot, and if they ask you how things are at headquarters you say, and I quote, 'we are working on a couple of high profile cases and ready to wrap them up any day, Sir'. They love to hear that for some reason."

"So then you lie to the Commander in Chief," Kono laughed.

Steve shrugged, "Not really, most of the time it's true."

"It actually has been the truth around here lately," Danny said. "That's why I'm letting you take over some of the duties. You're incredible articulation will be greatly appreciated."

"I can't fill out police reports," Steve argued. "I wasn't at the bust."

"Look at my notes," Danny argued, opening up the first file on top and setting it out in front of him. "You know how I work better than I do. It's not like you've never filled out a report with just my notes, Mr. 'I keep it all up here'," he tapped his forehead with his finger, "that is until the paperwork comes around and then who do you go to for backup notes?" he leaned over as if encouraging him to speak, "That's right, c'mon you can say it. Ol'e Danny Boy."

"All right! All right," Steve caved, "I'll take care of it."

"Good because we got other work to do. We have to run, we'll be back in a while."

"Where?" Steve asked, eyeing each one of them wishing he could go with them. "What do you got going on now? What's the case?"

"Settle down." Danny said, "You can read the notes when we get back."

"I'm still the boss incase you forgot."

"Not now you're not," Danny said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "right now for the time being you're MY flunky."

The three of them laughed.

"Bite me," Steve growled, trying to act serious but found it just as humorous.

They started out of the office as Danny yelled back at him. "Have those done by the time I get back and maybe I'll let take you for a ride along tomorrow." Steve heard more laughter as the doors to the office closed behind them.

"Little bastard," he chuckled.

He flipped his laptop open and brought up a blank form, filling out the top portion and then shuffling through the papers in the file for Danny's notes.

It felt good to be back. There was no pressure here, not like at home where he felt eyes were constantly on him and judging the way he acted. He and Anna hadn't even had sex since the night he'd dumped the pills in the toilet. Not from lack of trying, but he refused to believe his lack of stamina was due to the medication, it was the pressure from her. If he didn't preform to her satisfaction then he could almost read her mind that he was sure was filled with accusations. It was better not to rock the boat, he thought.

He glanced at his watch anticipating the top of the hour. He'd tried calling Carrie on the ship earlier but was told she was on land in San Diego. He tried her again on the base and was told she had office duty at nine o'clock.

He didn't wait out the extra ten minutes wanting to get the call out of the way before the others returned and more than that, he wanted to be assured his supply wasn't going to run out. He was dangerously low, having only a few pills left. This was plan A, if he had to resort to plan B, he was going to need an extra day and didn't want to do that, hoping Carrie would come through for him.

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As they came out of the doors of the Police headquarters Chin stopped, turning to the two of them. "Is it just me, or does Steve look a little…" he thought of the right word, "underfed."

"I know!" Kono blurted out. "I mean, I know he was in the accident and all but you would think that sitting around and not being as active as he normally is that he'd gain weight, not lose it. He's really ok isn't he?" They both looked at Danny for an explanation.

"Yes, as far as I know."

"He'd tell us if it wasn't something else," Kono said it came out more of a statement of fact. "Wouldn't he?"

Chin huffed, "You know Steve, talking about something like that is not in his vocabulary."

"Maybe a call to Anna would answer it," Kono suggested.

She and Chin both looked to Danny again.

"What? Me?" he point at his chest.

"Yes you," Kono replied as if it were expected of him to be the one to do it.

"It should be you," Chin agreed as they started walking toward the parking lot, "you said it yourself, he's your flunky. Look after your people."

He and Kono laughed as they separated from him going to Chin's car.

"Fine," Danny caved. "I'll call her."

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"Dr. Lieutenant Hershey speaking," Carrie said into the phone.

"So how is my favorite doctor?" Steve said. "Saved anyone else's life lately?"

Carrie smiled, "Well looks who's back from the dead. Even a helicopter can't keep you down. How are you, Steve?"

"I'm doing ok. Things are coming around slowly."

"I'm glad to hear that. To what do I owe this pleasant surprise? Or are you just calling to give me your undying gratitude?"

"You'll always have that, Carrie, but there is something else I was hoping you could help me out with. If you can't, I understand completely."

"What is it?" she smiled, taking a seat behind the vacant desk in the small office she was occupying.

"I'm back to work as of today."

"That's great Steve!"

"It is, I'm pretty happy about that. But the issue is that Anna and I spent a couple of days over on Maui for a little getaway and I left my pain pills over there, and to make a sad story sadder, I can't go to my doctor for a refill."

"Why not?"

"I'm a little embarrassed to say, but ok here goes. This is the second prescription I've lost, well technically I didn't lose the first the one. It was stolen out of my car the day I got out of the hospital. I even had to file a police report. So this is kind of humiliating having lost another one."

Carrie laughed. "So what then, do you need a prescription?"

"If you can. If you can't I completely understand. I'll put my tail between my legs and go see my doctor. It's my own fault. I really don't even need them that bad, but being back at work I thought I might need them at night." He held his breath hoping he'd convinced her enough.

She'd never been asked that before and being new to the whole prescription writing aspects of being a doctor she had to take into consideration her career first, but after thinking it over she decided it should be fine. He was after all a patient of hers and she knew him well enough that he wouldn't abuse them. "Ok. Let me know what pharmacy you go to and I'll send one over. Two weeks ok?"

He was hoping for more but settled for that. "That's perfect, more than I'll need but it'll be good just incase. Thanks Carrie. I'll text you the pharmacy as soon as I look it up."

"No problem. Take care and keep in touch. Have you set a date yet for the wedding?"

"No, probably sometime early next year though. You'll get an invitation if you're in the country."

"I can't wait. I'll talk to you soon."

"Sounds good." He hung up and leaned back in the chair, letting out a deep sigh, problem solved, for now he thought. He had Eric's camping trip in less than a week and needed them for that, looking forward to getting away with just the two of them. He'd noticed him being standoffish lately, wondering if Anna had got into his head about all this pill crap.

He didn't want to think that she would ever do that, but ever since the night they argued she too had been noticeably distant. So much so that he'd begun to spend the night at his own house several times a week and even when he was with her in bed, it wasn't the same. She was distant there as well.

He cringed over the memory of the night before. He'd been in a good mood knowing he was back to work the next day and she seemed genuinely happy for him. Dinner had gone well and so had the evening as they all hung out together watching TV.

The mood was right once they got into bed as they both instigated the sex, but when it came down to his time to perform, he couldn't do it. It was the first time, and he prayed the last time that that would ever happen to him. It was humiliating, and in his head he blamed her for all the pressure he was under. It was even worse as she tried to console him, wishing she hadn't said anything at all. It didn't matter what she said, by that point he was furious with her, rolling over with his back to her. The next morning they both pretended like it never happened, but it was just another brick in the wall that they were building up between them.

He reached in his front pants pocket and took out two of the four pills that were in there, and then walked over to his mini fridge, finding a bottle of water.

He took the medication and sat down on the couch, laying back, resting his head on the cushioned arm. He couldn't figure out what happened between them. She'd changed so much since he got out of the hospital. Even while he was in there he felt the pressure of her constantly watching him as he just tried to ease his pain, like he was doing now. Why couldn't she understand that he needed the pills. It's not that he wanted them like he knew she thought, he needed them, forcing his hand once again on keeping them a secret from her just so he could live comfortably. He felt that no matter what he did lately he couldn't please her, no matter what.

He stared up at the ceiling coming to a startling realization that this relationship was starting to sound a lot like the one he had with Becky.

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Danny sat in his car outside headquarters and pulled up Anna's phone number. She answered on the third ring.

"Hi, Danny?" She quickly pulled the car over onto a side street, not sure why he would be calling her unless something had happened. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes, everything's fine," he assured her. "Steve's back at the office. I'm calling because I wanted to ask you something."

"Ok" She felt a wave of relief over that, but the tone of his voice sounded a little concerned.

"I hadn't seen Steve in a couple of weeks before this morning, but I was," he paused correcting himself, "actually we all were a little shocked when we saw him. He's lost some weight. Is everything going ok with his recovery?"

There was another sign that was unmistakable. They were everywhere as if reality were holding them up in front of her face, screaming for her to acknowledge them. If she voiced her concerns to Danny now, there would be no turning back. She saw it as a way to have someone else in her fight to help protect him, but it also scared her that it could potentially be the end of her relationship with him too. She saw what it did to her parents. They had been in love once too like she and Steve, but she also saw how that turned out once her mother had enough. Like her mother she had children to think of.

"Anna?" Danny asked as the silence on the other end became far too long. "What's going on?" He felt suddenly sick to his stomach as he began to think the worst.

She felt tears stinging her eyes as she spoke to him. "I think he's become dependent on his pain pills."

Danny's concern turned to shock, never in a million years considering that would ever be an issue. "What do mean? Like addicted to them?" Just asking it seemed ridiculous to him.

She could hear the denial in his voice wondering if she'd made a mistake saying it. They were partners, but their friendship was even beyond that. They shared a bond for one another that was on a level you would have for a family member. She knew that even if he didn't believe her now, he'd figure it out for himself, the same as she did. He already saw the first sign. "I'm worried about him Danny."

He in turn couldn't deny the tone of her voice, but what she was saying sounded crazy to him. "Are you sure Anna? How often does he take them?"

"He said he quit about a week ago, but I'm not sure that's true." She closed her eyes, knowing if this ever got back to Steve that it could very well be the end.

"I've never known him to lie. Maybe he did stop taking them. What makes you think he didn't?"

She didn't want to tell him about the night before in bed knowing it would be like the ultimate betrayal. "He's very moody lately and irritable. He doesn't eat as you can see, and he wakes up sometimes at night in a pool of sweat."

Danny didn't necessarily see that as signs of an addiction, especially in Steve. "Maybe its because he's in pain from not taking the pills. That would make anyone irritable. Why did he stop taking them?"

"He stopped because…" she knew then as soon as she told him why that it was going to be like talking to a brick wall about this. "He stopped because I asked him to."

Danny wiped his hand over his mouth, not sure where to go with this. She sounded like she had some valid concerns but he knew Steve just about as well as anyone in his life and couldn't imagine this being an issue. If he had to make a list of all the people in his life and rank them on the level of becoming an addict, Steve would be so far down on the list that he wouldn't even be a factor. "Ok, I'll talk to him."

"Danny, our relationship is already on the brink…" she shook her head, knowing she couldn't ask him to lie about talking to her. She'd made the decision to tell him and now she had to stand behind it. She loved Steve and had to trust her instincts that she was doing the right thing. "Ok, you talk to him, Danny."

It wasn't hard for him to read between the lines with her. "I'll casually bring it up and keep you out of it if I can."

She was only slightly relieved to hear that, but knew if he pushed the subject like she had, then that relationship would be in jeopardy as well. She'd seen her father alienate everyone in his life until it was too late. She recalled her and Alyssa over hearing family and friends regret at the funeral, wishing they had done something to help him before it was too late. She hated them for that, but as she got older she realized in the end it was up to her father and no one else. He just chose the easy way out. She wasn't going to let that happen to Steve. "You know what Danny. I don't care if you tell him we talked. Do whatever you have to. You can even say I called you if you want."

"You're really concerned about this aren't you?" He needed an explanation for this questionable conversation and decided right then and there to go to the source.

"You talk to him." She knew she'd never be able to convince him, he'd have to figure it out, and if she was right, which deep down inside she knew she was, then Danny would get it too.

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Danny came down the corridor not seeing him at his desk. He came inside the office and saw him lying on the couch.

"Hey," he said tapping his foot, "you asleep?"

Steve opened an eye. "No, just stretching my back out," he lied.

"Does it still hurt?"

"A helicopter landed on me, what do you think."

He sat on the other arm of the couch, "Are you taking your pain pills?"

Steve contemplated that answer. If he said yes to Danny, then that might get back to Anna. "No, I'm not allowed to," he huffed.

"What do mean? Did the doctor cut you off?" He wondered if it went beyond Anna.

"No," he slowly sat up. "Anna did."

"Why? Did she have some concerns over them?"

Steve looked over at him, "Did you talk to her?"

"Why, should I?"

His raised his voice, asking again. "Did you talk to her?"

"Yes."

"Jesus!" Steve yelled, pushing himself up off the couch. "She's relentless."

"What's going on," Danny asked, feeling like he just stepped inside a family dispute.

"What did she say? Did she call you?!"

"No. I called her."

That surprised him even more. "Why?"

"Because you've lost some weight and I was a little worried that something else was going on."

"Like what?"

Danny threw his arms up, "I don't know, like you were sick and something else had come up besides you're back that you weren't telling us. All three of us were worried. Is it from the pills you were taking?"

"No!" he quickly shut that down, needing him to be on his side and not Anna's, not sure what she had told him. Whatever it was, he was furious with her over it. She'd crossed the line bringing his team into her crazy accusations. "Listen to me Danny. Her father committed suicide because he was addicted to drugs. I guess it started with his addiction to Morphine and escalated from there. She'd got it in her head that anyone that takes Morphine is suddenly an addict." He ran his hand down his body as if showing it off, "You know why I've lost weight? Because I lost my appetite trying to fight of the constant pain in my back because I can't take the pills anymore because I'm also trying to appease Anna's freaked out emotional state over them. I swear to God Danny she's relentless in her pursuit!"

He held his hands up. "All right calm down." He could see the tension in him over this subject, not sure who to believe at the moment but knowing Steve the way he did, he was leaning more toward his side. "What made her start to feel this way? I mean besides her father?"

"I don't even know. It all started when I was in the hospital and they had me hooked up to the IV. She didn't like that at all," he said sarcastically. "Even though it was regulated. It's not like I could just press the button anytime I felt like it." He took a step closer to him, needing him of all people to be on his side. "Look Danny. I love Anna. I don't want her to feel afraid or to be upset about this or anything else in her life." He shrugged, "That's why I stopped taking them. I didn't want to hurt her."

"So you're not taking them at all anymore?"

"Nope." He pointed towards the couch, "Even though sometimes it hurts so much I have to lie down."

Danny ran his hands over his face, wishing now he hadn't made that call. He should have just talked to Steve first. "I didn't know it had come to that. I don't think she believes that you've stopped."

"Why?" he eyed him suspiciously, "What did she say?" He couldn't believe that Anna gone behind him like this. If she said anything to Danny about the issue they had in bed the night before, he'd go through the roof.

"She said that you've been irritable, you don't eat, you don't sleep, you sweat a lot at night."

Steve began to count on each finger the result for each one. "Pain, pain, pain and oh yea, pain! Everyone jokes around about it, but how would you like to have a helicopter fall on your head and then be told you couldn't take the pain medicine because someone, not even in your family, had once been addicted to them, and on the slight chance that might happen to you, its forbidden." He made it sound so ludicrous that he knew he left Danny no choice but to believe him.  
Danny ran his hand over his hair, not realizing she had gone off the deep end like that. "Damn Steve, do you have any pills left?"

"No, I flushed them down the toilet about a week ago to prove to Anna they were gone." He hated lying to him, feeling the ones in his pocket burning a hole through his conscience, but once again he blamed it on Anna, he wouldn't have to do any sneaking around if it weren't for her. She was becoming just like Becky he thought. The physical cheating might not have been there, but the emotional one was, and it hurt just as bad.

In the end, Danny thought, he had to believe Steve. He was his partner. They had been through the best and worst of times together. He had to believe him because in his mind he couldn't believe he would lie to him, he wouldn't believe it, besides, in the end his explanation out weighed Anna's.

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Steve came home to his own house, closing the door behind him and heading straight for his pills that were in the kitchen. He opened up the door to the spice cupboard and moved the olive oil and a bottle of vinegar out of the way, reaching in the back for them. He shook out three and went over to the sink, bending over and drinking from the faucet, swallowing them down.

He leaned back against the counter knowing he was due over at Anna's for dinner, but just didn't feel it. The damage of her talking to Danny still felt raw, deciding he needed a night away to let it settle before he saw her again, afraid he might say something he'd regret.

He walked over the freezer and took out a frozen vegetable lasagna that had been in there for months. He hadn't needed to cook since Anna had been doing most of it. She'd got better over time, using YouTube videos and even went as far as buying a cookbook. He had to admit she'd come along way in her culinary skills from when he first met her.

He put it in the microwave and turned it on. As it began to cook he went in search of his phone, letting her know that he wouldn't be over. He thought about a text but knew that was really over stepping it and decided on a call instead when he heard his front door open.

They were way beyond the courtesy knock before entering each other's houses.

"Hi. Dinner will be ready in a couple of minutes." she said a little uneasily, not sure anymore what kind of mood she would be walking into, and with the conversation with Danny earlier in the day, she was really apprehensive. He'd called her back after his chat with Steve and didn't come right out and say that she was dead wrong, but by the time they hung up she knew Danny didn't agree with her. She once again began to doubt herself, wondering if it was all in her head.

"How was your first day back?" she asked trying to lighten the mood, but he wasn't going to let her get away with it.

Seeing her ignited the anger that had been building all day, the same anger that he was hoping to extinguish some before seeing her, but here she was. "Well it could have gone better, but you probably already know that."

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Anna," he replied bitterly. "Don't pretend like what you said to Danny wasn't going to come back and haunt us both."

She let out a sigh, hearing the hostility in his voice. "Steve," she went to explain when he cut her off.

"What were you thinking telling Danny all those things?"

"He called me, Steve. He was concerned about you."

"So you spill your guts about that goddamn story of me being addicted to those pills!" he took a step toward her. "To those goddamn pills that I flushed down the toilet?"

"Was that all of them?" She knew she risked the beginning of yet another fight, but they already seemed to be in the middle of one. It's all they seemed to do lately was fight.

"Jesus Anna," he shook his head, tired of arguing with her over this. "What do you want from me?!" he asked straightforwardly with a hint of sarcasm that she heard clearly. "Seriously, what?"

"I want you to look me in the eye and swear to me that you haven't taken any since that night." She felt she was laying all her cards on the table and now it was up to him.

He did as she asked, looking her straight on. "I haven't taken any since that night." He felt the impact of that lie in his gut. She had a way of backing him into a corner, forcing his hand. Why did she have to ask that? Couldn't she just take his word for it? It angered him even more that he was forced to lie to her once again. "Why won't you believe me Anna?" The sincerity in his voice was heartbreaking.

She was wrong, it wasn't all up to him, it was all up to her and whether or not she was able to believe it and let it go. She felt this was a turning point in their relationship. "Tell me the truth Steve. Please, just tell me the truth."

He came up to her, "Please Anna, just believe me and let it go. I'm begging you, let it go before it…" he paused, holding his tongue knowing he was close to that point he'd been fearing, afraid of saying something he might regret, but he also felt that saying it might just scare her into letting him be. He took her hand that had his ring on it, gliding his thumb over it. "Before it comes between us for good."

His threat was a dead on hit. She felt her heart sink to her stomach. She'd sensed it hovering over them for the past couple of weeks but to be put right out there was frightening to her. Maybe she had been pushing him over nothing. Her father had been a weak man, at least the man she remembered, and she'd never known Steve to be weak. The conversation with Danny wasn't helping her fight anymore either. He knew him as well as she did, probably better, and if Danny wasn't worried, then maybe she had overreacted. The guilt over what she had been putting them both through suddenly hung heavy on her. She was so confused in her emotions. She wanted to believe him more than anything else, feeling her heart pull her in the direction where her head had been holding her back.

"I'm sorry Steve," she felt the tears stinging her eyes. "I'm so sorry. There were just so many changes that I didn't understand."

He saw the first tear fall but he didn't feel guilt over lying to her, or the deception he used which resulted in he being the one to make her cry because of his lies, he only saw the victory of what he had set out to do. She believed him. She finally believed him. "You put so much pressure on me Anna."

As she began to go over the last few weeks the guilt over what she had put him through hit her even harder. "Oh God Steve," she put a hand on her chest over her startling realization. "Was it all my fault? The weight loss, the mood changes? Were they all because I was pushing you over this?"

"It didn't help." He knew most of his anger came from her not believing in him, assured that the stress was all her fault, especially now that she was offering it up to him. It just made things so easy to blame her. It was the only explanation in his eyes.

She felt sick over that, certain now that it had been her fear over her father's death which had backfired and been causing him all this stress and anxiety. It wasn't because of the pills at all. It was all her fault. She'd been the one torturing him and he'd taken all of it on and accepted it, just to please her. "I'm so sorry." Praying she hadn't damaged their relationship for good over this. "Can you ever forgive me?"

He smiled as he put his arms around her. "There's nothing to forgive, it's over, and we'll just let it go."

The microwave beeped, letting them know his dinner was done. As he glanced over in the kitchen, he spotted the pills sitting on the counter from his last dose.

Anna pulled away from him, feeling a little relieved over his forgiveness, but the regret of what she had done to him still weighed heavy on her. "Are you cooking something, or do you want to come over?" She couldn't blame him if he didn't want to.

He kept an arm over her shoulder, leading her toward the front door and away from the kitchen. "I was, but now I'd rather have dinner with you and the kids."

She laid her head on his shoulder as they walked out. "I love you," she said to him.

"I love you too," he replied, looking over his shoulder at the bottle, knowing he'd dodged that bullet.

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Eric ran down the stairs carrying his sleeping bag that was folded up tightly as could be after the fourth try.

"Is Steve here yet?" he asked excitedly.

"No," Anna said, coming out of the kitchen zipping the bag shut that was filled with granola bars for their three day camping trip. "I saw him pull in a couple of minutes ago so he should be here anytime."

He set the sleeping bag down with the other supplies. Anna dropped the bag of granola bars with them and continued out the front door. She looked over toward his house, seeing his front door open and some gear sitting on the porch.

"Did you remember to pack your toothbrush," she asked Eric.

"Why? We're going to be in the wilderness. I don't need it."

Anna gave him a look and pointed up toward the bathroom. "Go get your toothbrush. Steve doesn't want to smell your bad breath after the second day."

Eric rolled his eyes and stomped up the stairs.

She came outside as he was coming across the yard carrying his duffel bag and some camping supplies. They greeted each other with a warm smile; the past couple of days since the last argument and the results from it had been put to rest. He'd been staying with her every night now that her suspicions were gone, he felt he was sleeping better too, not taking into consideration that he'd also increased his dosage before bed.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked him with a kiss.

"Absolutely."

"Well Eric is about ready to jump out of his skin if we don't get a move on pretty quickly. Oh, and by the way," she huffed, "will you please make sure he brushes his teeth. He thinks just because he's going camping that he doesn't have too."

"Oh damn it," Steve snapped his fingers, "I forgot my mine. Be right back." He turned and dashed across his yard to his house. Anna watched with amusement and a little surprise too that he was running like he was and seemed to have no qualm over his back.

Eric came outside waving his toothbrush. "I got it, but I don't have any toothpaste so I guess I still won't be able too."

Anna squatted down over Steve's duffel bag. "I'm sure Steve does." She unzipped it and searched around for his travel case that he used on trips. She felt the soft leather and pulled it out, unzipping it. She saw the toothpaste and smiled up at him, "Sorry Eric but Steve has a full tube."

"Whatever," he moaned.

She chuckled over that and zipped up the case. As she lifted the two neatly folded shirts in his duffel bag that she'd taken it out from under she froze, seeing a bottle of medication tucked in between them.

She felt the air leave her body as she read the word 'Morphine' and then reached down and picked up the prescription bottle. Her eyes scanned the label, searching out the fill date.

She sank down to her knees from the squatting position, seeing that it was filled a week before and just two days before he had looked her in the eyes and sworn to her that he wasn't taking them anymore. Two days before he had made her feel like she was to blame for all the changes she'd been witnessing.

She took the top off and shook out the quantity. They filled her hand there were so many. She looked at the label and read what was prescribed, which was only twenty-eight, but she knew she had at least that many in her palm and then looked inside seeing twice as many still in the bottle. They were combined from another prescription.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked angrily, as he stood over her. "You're going through my bag?!"

She looked up at him, shocked that his anger was because she found them and not that he had been caught lying. She saw no remorse over that at all. "No, I was looking for toothpaste for Eric." She felt her blood begin to get hot as she stood up still holding the pills. "I can't believe you lied to me like that. That you…" she took in a deep breath as her anger built, "that you stood there and lied to me!"

"Put em' back," Steve replied in a low growl.

Anna glanced over at Eric who was standing there watching them. "Go inside the house Eric."

"But we have to go soon or we'll miss the bus," he said, seeing both of their expressions and knowing something was up.

"Go inside right now!" Anna said sharply.

He did as he was told, but wasn't happy about it, slamming the door shut behind him.

She turned back to Steve holding her hand out with the pills. "You never stopped! Look at these! How many prescriptions do you have here? And where are you getting them?!"

"It's none of your goddamn business," he snarled at her, reaching out and snatching the bottle from her hand.

She closed her hand into a fist, holding the others in her grip. "It is my business when it involves my life and the lives of Eric and Jenny!" She backed away from him as he took a step toward her holding his hand out.

"Give them to me." When she didn't move he raised his voice to startle her. "Now!"

She stared at him, shocked, frightened but more than anything else angry with herself for letting him dupe her into believing she was to blame and he was the innocent one. "No. I'm not giving them to you and you're not taking Eric out of this house either."  
"Anna," his voice was low and held the most demonic threat she had ever heard. "I'm not fucking around with you about this anymore. Give them back to me."

"What is wrong with you? Can't you see what these are doing to you? God Steve, listen to your self. You're threatening me."

He heard nothing from her, all he could think of was how difficult it had been to get those pills that she was trying to take from him and how impossible it might be to replace them. "Goddamn it Anna. I'm not going to tell you again," he shoved his hand forward, "give them to me!"

She took another step back, "I can't do that. I think you need help Steve. Please, let me help you."

"Help me?!" he practically laughed in her face. "What do I have a sign on my back that says 'help me Anna'? You're the one that needs help!"

"You can't stop taking them can you?"

"Don't start laying this bullshit on me again about how I'm addicted to them just because your old man offed himself! It's no wonder he did if your mom badgered him like you do me!"

She stood there stunned over the words that were coming out if his mouth. Gone almost completely was the man she'd fallen in love with. The person standing in front of her was only a shell of whom he had been. "Go home Steve," she said, backing up toward the house. "I want you to go home."

He shook his head walking toward her. "No, Anna. I'm taking Eric on that camping trip and I'm taking back those pills you have in your hand too."

She could feel her fist begin to shake over the tight hold and the frightening look in his eyes. She never dreamed in a million years she would ever be afraid of him, but at that second she had no idea what to expect from him. She remembered her mother taking the abuse and giving in to her father every time she confronted him. No one stood up to him and the results were the ultimate betrayal from not only him but also the ones who turned their backs. She wasn't going to let that happen with Steve.

"You don't understand Steve," her voice was calm yet firm, mirroring the intensity of the situation. "You're NOT taking Eric anywhere and I'm NOT giving them back." She turned and went for the door, hearing him coming up behind her as she reached for the doorknob.

"Goddamn you, Anna!" he yelled. "I'm sick of this shit!"

They both came through the door at full force from him slamming his fist into it. Anna stumbled and reached out for the bottom of the handrail on the stairs steading herself as she backed down the hallway toward the kitchen away from him. "Get out! Get out of my house!"

"Who the fuck do you think you are?! He screamed at her. "You're just like every other fucking woman in my life that thinks you're entitled to whatever they want! You're making my life hell, Anna! Hell!" he screamed, all the while making his way toward her.

"I'm going to call the police if you don't leave, right now!"

"Fine," he spat, lunging toward her, taking a hold of her wrist that held the pills. "Drop them!" he growled, holding his hand beneath hers.

"No!" she screamed back, trying to jerk her arm away.

"Stop it!" Eric yelled, standing behind them. "Stop it! Let her go!"

Steve looked over his shoulder at him, his voice in the same angry tone. "Go get your stuff and get in my truck!"

Eric just stared at him, shocked over what was happening. He'd never seen that look on him before, or worse yet, that tone that was even more frightening.

Anna shook her hand again, trying to get loose over his distraction. "He's not going with you and I'm telling you to get out!"

Steve turned back to her, tightening his hold and shook her. He was blinded by the fear of not getting those pills back and the anger over Anna's betrayal once again. "Why do you have to be such a fucking tease," he said through gritted teeth. "That's all you are to me anymore, a fucking tease. You're ruining my life just like every other fucking woman that's entered it!" He pinned her hand against the wall.

Anna looked down and away from his face that held so much hatred she felt honestly sick to her stomach over it. She opened her hand and let the pills spill out as most fell to the floor while a couple stuck to her sweaty palm. She felt the release on her wrist as he scooped up the remaining ones in her palm and then dropped down, picking up the ones on the floor.

Eric backed away from him as he gathered them up quickly.

Steve looked up at Anna during his quest to get each and every one. "This is on you Anna! This is all on you! No me!"

She said nothing but just stood still knowing he'd be gone in a minute. She looked over at Eric as he slowly met her gaze, the tears in his eyes were from shock and fear. She didn't speak but mouthed the words to him to go upstairs. He just stared at her as if trying to compute what was happening. "Eric," she finally said, not wanting him there if Steve began another rant.

Steve looked up at him after gathering up the last one. "I told you to get your stuff and get in my truck!"

Eric shook his head.  
"Leave him alone Steve," Anna said, thanking God that Jenny was at school and not there to witness any of it. It was bad enough that Eric saw it and it broke her heart to see the look on his face over it.

"Now you're turning him against me too!" Steve shouted at her.

"Go home!" Eric yelled at him. "Get out of here!"

"Don't talk to me like that Eric!" he scolded him.

"Steve," Anna said calmly, trying to hide the nervousness in her voice. "Please, just go."

"Fine," he said standing up, slamming his hand against the wall as he did. "I'll leave," he pointed at Anna as he left. "This is on you! Do you hear me? You Anna!"

She nodded in agreement to appease him as he walked out and slammed the door shut.

Eric ran up to the door and locked it behind him as Anna came up to him, putting her arms over his shoulders and pulling him against her body.

"It's ok honey. He's just angry. He won't hurt us." She said it but she wasn't sure she believed it after that outburst.

"I hate him!" Eric yelled. "I hate his guts! I don't want him to ever come back here!" He burst into tears as Anna bent over, hugging him tighter. He turned around and buried his face in her stomach.

She leaned forward bracing a hand on the door as she held him with the other. The impact of what had just happened finally hit her as she bent her head down and cried with him. "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"I hate him," his voice calmer but with the same conviction.

"Shhh," Anna whispered trying to soothe him.

"I hate him so much," he cried, knowing that not only was the camping trip canceled but that with the horrible things he said to Anna that he was sure their relationship was over now too. He was scared more than anything else, like Anna he didn't know who that person was that was standing there screaming at the two of them, and he didn't want to know him, not anymore.

Steve came into his house and slammed the front door. He went straight for the kitchen and pulled a bowl out of the cupboard dropping the pills in his hand into it for safekeeping. He poured the others from the bottle into it as well, taking out two and popping them in his mouth as he went for the sink, taking a drink.

"Fuck!" he roared angrily over the confrontation that had just taken place. He gripped the side of the sink with both hands until his fingers turned white and the anger in him built up so much that he had to let it out somehow. He took his right hand and hit the cupboard door above his head. His fist left a noticeable imprint on the hollow wood. He hit it again and a hole appeared.

He gripped the sink again, trying to get his anger under control.

He finally turned around and slid down until he was sitting on the floor. He took in deep calculated breathes, calming the hysteria inside of him until he just sat there and stared ahead going over the scene in his head that had taken place.

He closed his eyes, seeing the fear in Anna's. He opened them back up again and looked at his hand that had grabbed a hold of her and had even shaken her. He felt sick to his stomach over it, trying to come up with an explanation for it, but he couldn't. He'd lost his temper, but it was even beyond that. He'd lost control.

He laid his head back against the counter feeling completely mortified over what he had done and for letting himself loose it like that. He didn't blame Anna this time, he blamed himself.

He didn't know how long he sat there but knew that every second that went by he was closer and closer to the point of no return with her. He finally pushed himself up off the floor and went for the front door.

He came across the yard and saw his things for the camping trip sitting by her front door. As he came closer he saw some other clothes on top of his duffel bag that he recognized as ones he'd left there over the course of their relationship, but the one item that left him dazed was the ring he'd given her that was perched on top off all of them.

He reached for the doorknob and realized right away that it was locked. "Anna," he said calmly as he knocked. "Anna, please I'm sorry." He said loudly, not sure if she could hear him.

She stood on the other side of it with tears steaming down her face, holding the doorknob and bracing herself against it, praying he didn't try to forcibly come through. The phone sat only a couple of feet away just incase. Eric stood at the top of the stairs fighting back his own tears with his hands bound into fists if he tried to hurt her again.

Steve knocked again. "Anna, are you there? Please, let's just talk about this."

"Go away," she said.

"Honey please. I love you Anna. I'm sorry."

She wiped away fresh tears with the back of her hand, prepared for his sincere apology but knew that no matter what he said she had to stand her ground, not only for her own welfare but for Eric and more than anyone else, Jenny's. She couldn't let what happened earlier happen again in front of Jenny, and at that moment she was sure there would be another outburst if she allowed him back in. It was her father all over again and she wasn't going to stand for it.

"I said go away." She knew Jenny would be home soon and wanted him gone before then. "If you don't leave Steve, I'm going to call the police. I mean it, I will."

He stepped back away from the door surprised over that. "So this is it?" he said to her. "This is how it's going to end, through a door and my stuff piled on the ground?"

She didn't answer, not wanting to get into a conversation with him.

When she didn't reply he felt that anger building once again. "Fine Anna! I'll leave you be. I'll go back to my house and my old life that was just perfect until you came along! Perfect!" he snarled.

She heard him gather up his things and leave. She tried the best she could to hold back from crying but it was impossible.

She felt Eric's presence next to her, looking down at him as he leaned in next to her, resting his head on her. She put an arm around him and they stood there both still in shock over what had taken place, but knew what they had to do was for the best. She understood now why no one helped her father, he needed to find that bottom before he could crawl back up again, she felt that Steve was in that same hole, digging himself deeper in, praying he found the bottom soon.

She loved him still, more than anything, but knew the best thing for him right now was to take it away.


	23. Chapter 23

Danny knocked on the frame of Steve's office door before coming in.

"Hey, you got a sec?"

"Yea, what's up?"

"First off, we got a lead on that guy from the mainland who purchased the boat that was used in the hijacking."

"Good, I'm coming with you on that."

Danny nodded but was a little surprised he was getting back in the game a week ahead of what they had planned. "Ok. You think you're up for it?"

Steve tilted his head just slightly in question, "Yes, why? You don't think I am?"

He raised his hands in defense. "It's up to you. If you think you're ready then I trust you."

"Good. What was the other thing?"

"The other thing?"

Steve leaned back in his chair, "Yea, you said 'first off' so that usually means there is more than one conversation."

"Oh yea," Danny snapped his fingers as if just recalling the other. "My Mom and Dad want to fly Gracie out to Jersey for a couple of weeks early next year, which I'm all for, but she would be livid if she missed the wedding. So have you and Anna set a date yet, or even a time frame?"

Steve toyed with the pen in his hand. He was wondering how and when this conversation was going to arise, not knowing just how to broach the subject with him. The pain and anger from it was still pretty raw, it had only been a couple of days after all.

"Actually, there isn't going to be a wedding."

Danny stepped inside the room over that surprising news. "What?! Since when?"

"A few days ago. We decided to split up."

He couldn't hide the shock over the break up, "Wow! Why didn't you say anything before?"

Steve shrugged, "It's not something I really want to talk about or dwell on, you know?"

Danny nodded his understanding, "I'm sorry buddy." He wondered if it had to do with Anna's suspicion over his use of the pills, but decided to just let it lie.

"Yea well…shit happens and then life goes on."

"You seem to be taking it pretty well."

"How am I supposed to take it? Bury my head in the sand? This was all on her. She wouldn't let up on me. I can only imagine what it would have been like after we were married." He shook his head in distaste over that.

"What do you mean she wouldn't let up on you?"

"Never mind. I really don't want to get into it." He focused back on his computer. "It's over and done with."

"Is that why you didn't take Eric camping?"

"Just drop it, ok?" he snapped. If he told him the truth then Danny would know he was lying about the pills to him as well. It was no ones business as far as he was concerned. He wasn't hurting anyone. Anna had brought this all on herself and had taken Eric and Jenny down with her. He hated driving by their house and seeing Jenny out front, only able to wave to her. He could only imagine what Anna had told her about the break up. The kids were the hardest part of the whole thing.

He hadn't had a chance to talk to Eric yet, wanting to explain his side, but could feel the anger even from a distance from the one and only time he'd seen him since the argument. He refused to look at him and even went as far as trying to stop Jenny from acknowledging him. He wished now that he would have done things differently, but under the circumstances Anna had pushed him over the edge and he'd reached his limit when she tried to take his pills. He once again blamed her for everything.

Danny stood in the doorway a couple more seconds, getting a clear picture that whatever happened between Steve and Anna wasn't mutual and assumingly ended with a big bang. The hostility was all over Steve, which was undeniable. It made him wonder how Anna was doing. The conversation they had about Steve's pills was still fresh in his mind. The thing that bothered him the most was that she seemed like a rational person and not high strung or paranoid as Steve put her out to be. He looked at his partner again and could still see the signs of neglect on his body that had brought the call to Anna in the first place. He assumed the break up had to be hard on him though, giving him the benefit of the doubt once again, after all he wasn't taking the pills anymore so it couldn't possibly be that.

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Anna slid back into bed after walking Eric and Jenny to the bus stop. She then began her daily ritual since the breakup with Steve. She pulled the covers up to her chin and reached over in her nightstand drawer and pulled out the only item of his that she'd kept; a T-shirt that still had his scent on it. It reminded her of better days.

The instant the aroma of his cologne hit her, the second ritual began. The tears fell relentlessly for approximately thirty minutes before she would calm herself and then just stare off into space thinking about him until she would finally doze of from a mixture of depression and lack of sleep from the previous night. It was hard sleeping in the bed alone and knowing he was just next door.

After a couple of hours she would finally drag herself out of bed and try to fill her day with chores and any other kind of nonessential thing she could think of just to keep her mind off of him, but most seconds of the day it was an impossible feat. He was everywhere, even when she stepped outside he was there, right across the way. She'd never felt so sad or heartbroken over anything in her entire life and was positive nothing could ever make her feel this bad ever again.

The last part of the day before the kids came home and she had to put on that fake smile was the final ritual, talking herself out of forgiving him and letting him explain himself. That lasted until the she met the kids at the school bus and was reminded how much Eric and Jenny had been effected by his behavior. She wised up almost immediately, telling herself she was doing the right thing, not only for them, but for her too.

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Chin and Kono pulled in behind the Camaro as Steve and Danny got out. The house where the man they were wanting to question was in an area of Oahu where the homes had larger lots and held more privacy for the owners. It was also the perfect location to neither be seen, nor heard by your neighbors.

There was a single story house in the front of the property and a larger structure behind that resembled a barn. The establishment looked deserted or at least uninhabited for several months, and then they saw the curtain in the house move.

Steve and Danny took the lead carefully as they approached the front door of the house. Their guns were holstered but the safeties were switched off, ready to fire.

"Jason Berg," Danny yelled out. "Police. We'd like to have a word with you. Open the door."

He and Steve looked at each other when there was no reply. Chin and Kono separated, one going to the left of them and one to the right.

"Jason Berg!" Steve yelled next as they stepped up on the porch. "Five 0, open the door and come outside so we can talk."

"I didn't do it!" a voice called out from inside.

"Didn't do what?" Danny replied, motioning for Chin and Kono to circle around back.

"Why are you here?"

Steve and Danny both slid their guns out from their holsters. "We just want to talk," Steve said, leaning back against the wall by the door.

"Leave me alone!" he yelled.

They both heard scrambling inside the house as if chairs were being knocked over.

"What do you want to do? Danny whispered across to him. "You feel up to it?".

Steve stepped in front of the door and raised his foot, kicking it open. "Five 0!"

"Holy shit!" Danny said, following in after him. He wasn't prepared for the physical response from him, assuming his back was still not up to par. It was only supposed to be a routine call that had suddenly turned into something more, but even so his question was more or less asking if he wanted to hang back and let them take the lead not for him to kick the door in.

They saw a man run down the hall and disappear through a door. They came down the hallway as Chin and Kono came in through the unlocked back door.

"We got a mole," Danny said, pointing with his gun toward the open door that led to stairs and a basement.

Steve felt pumped, his adrenaline was in full swing after being off the job for so long, needing to feel this high just as much as he did the Morphine one. He didn't hesitate and took the lead as he began to descend the steps, his gun held out in front of him and his team close behind.

"There's no way out!" he yelled out to Berg as he stopped on the bottom step, scanning the small room that had a hallway leading down to more doors. The scene looked familiar to him but he couldn't place where.

Danny and the rest of them went past him as he stared down the hallway that was lit with only one light bulb coming from the ceiling. Steve felt his insides tighten up, feeling the fear before he even knew why when suddenly the light in the hall went out, leaving them in the pitch black.

He could feel the sweat begin to bead on his forehead suddenly recalling where he'd seen this place before.

"Danny!" he called out ahead of him, seeing the dim lights from their guns. "We have to get out here," he mumbled, recalling the nightmare of when he'd found Chin and Kono dead and then had turned and unknowingly shot Danny.

His gun felt slippery in his hands as he trembled, frozen to the spot in the dark. "Danny!" he shouted again. "Chin, Kono!" his voice shuttering when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Danny reached out, putting a hand on him. The second he touched him he could see the fear in his eyes from the light on his own gun but never expected the reaction. "Steve."

It was as if everything was happening in slow motion just like the dream. He never heard their replies through the hysteria going on in his head, but he felt the presence of another person, pushing off of him and turning with his gun raised.

Danny raised his hands, "Steve! It's me!" he shouted to him, staring down the barrel of his gun.

He saw the familiar face as the scene came into focus in his head, all the while the gun still pointing at him as his hand trembled. "Danny," his voice shaky, "we have to get out of here."

Danny reached up and slowly lowered the gun from his face, "It's ok. Chin and Kono have him cuffed." He took the weapon out of his hand.

Steve stared at him hearing him but not reacting to it just yet, letting it soak in as his heart beat out of control.

"Steve," Danny said trying to get his attention. "Go up stairs. It's all good." He led him by the arm to the first step. "Go up. We'll be right there."

"You're ok?" he asked him, looking past him down the hallway, seeing lights at the end. "Chin and Kono…"

"We're good. Everything's good." He gently nudged him up and out. "Go on, go up."

He finally did as he was told, making his way slowly up the steps. He got to the top and looked back down at Danny as he stared up at him. He could see the concern on his face even if he had missed it in his voice earlier. Maybe it was too soon for him to be back, nothing like that had ever happened to him before. He'd never lost control on the job, but as he came outside the house the vision of the gun pointed at Danny's face came flashing back as if he just then realized it had actually happened.

His heart rate excelled once again as he walked toward the car, reaching in his pocket for his pills. He felt the empty space as a wave of panic swept over him until he remembered he put three in his vest after they had put them on. He leaned back against the car and flipped open the small Velcro pocket on his vest, reaching in with his index finger and fishing them out.

He leaned inside the car window on the passenger side and grabbed the Styrofoam cup that had Danny's cold coffee in it. He tossed the pills in his mouth and slammed back the less than satisfying beverage, but it did the trick, getting the nutrients to their destination.

"You ok?" Danny asked as he walked up to him.

Steve turned around, seeing him and then Chin and Kono coming out of the house with Jason Berg in cuffs. "Sorry about that Danny. Maybe it was too soon for me to be back. I don't know what happened."

"What was that you just took?"

Steve looked down at the empty cup in his hand, playing dumb. "What? It was your coffee."

"I know what was in the cup, what were the pills you just took?"

"Ibuprofen."

"Ibuprofen?" he questioned.

"Yes," Steve replied, looking him straight on. "Ibuprofen. That little stunt with the door didn't go over so well with my back."

"So what happened back there in the basement?" he questioned him again, not ever seeing that type of behavior from him before, it was borderline bizarre to say the least.

Steve shook his head, not sure how to explain it to him. "I don't know, it was just a bad feeling I got." He didn't want to mention the dream and have it become even more odd than it already was. "Hasn't that ever happened to you before?"

"Well sure," Danny replied as if it were a shared reaction amongst his peers, "but I've never pointed my gun in the face of a fellow cop." He walked up to him, "You were shaking and you're still sweating buckets."

Steve wiped his hand across his forehead not realizing it until just then. He looked at his wet hand, wiping it on his pants. "I'm fine now. I just got a little freaked out, alright?" he said flatly, getting annoyed with his line of questions, feeling his temper begin to flare.

"Freaked out?" Danny said almost laughing, but not finding it humorous in the least. "You were having a full on panic attack Steve."

He pushed off the car, "No I wasn't! Look, I had this dream a while back…" he ran his hand over his hair, "it was with you and Chin and Kono, all three of you…" he paced back and forth. "It didn't turn out well, ok? That place down there, it reminded me of it is all. But I'm fine now."

"What happened?" Kono asked as she and Chin came up to them after locking Berg in the car. "We heard you yelling for us. Did you find something else?"

Steve shot a look to Danny, mentally asking him to keep quiet about what had happened, but his eyes were more or less begging him.

They were a team, what affected one affected all of them, against his better judgment at the moment, he kept his mouth shut.

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Anna came out of the house for another load of groceries in the back of the SUV as Steve drove past, pulling into his driveway. She didn't make eye contact with him but looked in the reflection of the windows of her car as he got out, glancing in her direction. She could feel his eyes on her wishing it were like old times when those looks from him would set off a chain reaction inside of her that could leave her feeling weak, but now her heart beat rapidly for a different reason.

"Don't look at him," she mumbled to herself as she scooped up two more bags, wishing she could carry the whole lot in with her so she wouldn't have to come back outside. She carried what she could and hurried back into the house, seeing him again in the window of the car as he stood looking in her direction.

She set down the bags on the kitchen table and waited an extra minute before heading back out, hoping he'd be gone. As she came down the hallway she saw him standing at the front door, holding the other two bags she couldn't carry. He stood just beyond the threshold as if knowing he wasn't allowed past the doorway.

"Hi," he said barely above a whisper, not sure he would even be able to find his voice after seeing her. He'd almost forgotten how beautiful she was.

She couldn't deny that seeing him was pleasing to her. Even though he looked worse than he did four days earlier on the day they broke up, he was still the most handsome man she'd ever encountered. "Hello," she said, but her thoughts were the opposite. '_Don't give in Anna. Don't let him sway you. Be strong. Unless he can prove that he's stopped taking them you have to let him go.' _

"I saw you unloading these. That was always my job. Old habits I guess."

"Thank you." She stood her ground in the hallway, not sure what she should do or say. Maybe he just wanted to apologize and that was it. And then a heart wrenching thought hit her, maybe he didn't want her back at all.

The incident earlier with Danny had scared him. He felt vulnerable at the moment, needing her to be there for him like she always had been before. She was like a security blanket. "Can I come in Anna. I want to try to explain what happened the other day."

"Why? I know what happened the other day. You lied to me."

"I know," he sighed, knowing she wasn't going to make it easy for him. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what? Sorry for getting caught? Sorry for screaming at me? Sorry for scaring Eric? Sorry for grabbing my wrist that took a whole day to stop hurting?" she exaggerated that but wanted him to know the mental effect it had on her. "Or are you just sorry that you lied?" she could feel her anger growing just rehashing the moment. "Tell me please, what are you sorry for?"

"You're not going to give me even an inch are you?"

"Do you think you deserve it?"

"I think I deserve a chance to explain myself." His patience was beginning to wear thin. He'd come here before going home and getting a pill, regretting it now.

"I only have one question to ask you Steve. Have you taken the pills in the last two hours?"

He squeezed the bags in his arms, hating the way she would always corner him. He felt like a wounded animal and here she was ready to pounce on him once again. Backing him into that corner where he had no choice but to lie to her. "No."

She knew even before he spoke that he was going to say no, and that it was a lie. She didn't need to tell herself to be strong, at that second she felt nothing for the man standing in her doorway. He was dangerous as far as she was concerned. "You can leave the groceries right there and go. I think I've heard enough."

"Damn it Anna! Why won't you just hear me out?!"

She felt the fear go through her, his voice reminding her of the last. She could see the anger building in his eyes. "Please go."

He dropped the groceries on the ground where he stood, hearing glass inside the bag break but was unaffected by it. "You act like you're so goddamn superior! What do you want from me?!"

"I didn't ask you over here Steve! You invited yourself! What is it that you want from me?!" she yelled back.

"Nothing!" he replied in that low throaty growl he'd made his signature tone lately. "You know what, I was wrong about you. You're just like that stuck up, phony, bitch sister of yours. You two are exactly alike! You swoop down like vultures and clasp your claws into a man then when you feel you've had enough, you let go, and I bet you laugh your ass off as he falls."

She swore if she had something in her hand she would have hurled it at his head, wishing she did. "That's right Steve," she roared, contorting her hands like claws. "You were such an easy target for me to prey upon! You fell right into my trap you poor, helpless little creature. You better hurry and run away before this stuck up phony bitch decides to claw your eyes out!" She kicked the grocery bags out of the way and slammed the door in his face, making sure he heard her lock it.

"Go to hell Anna!" he yelled out to her as he backed away from the door and then turned, strutting angrily across the yard.

"I already am!" she screamed out, but he was already gone. "You put me here!" She kicked the bags out anger and frustration before collapsing on the bottom step of the stairs, burying her face in her hands and began to sob harder than she ever had.

It was over. There was no going back after that. She knew that now.

Steve tore into his house and straight for the pills that were still in the spice cupboard, because now he had to hide them from Danny.

He cursed Anna's name as he pulled the top off and didn't even bother shaking them out in his hand. He tilted his head back and let them pore into his mouth. He swallowed down three and reached over for a cup that was sitting on the counter and filled it halfway before drinking it down.

He leaned against the counter with his head down, trying to ward off the anger and irritation he felt from the confrontation with Anna. His hand squeezed around the glass as he replayed the scene in his head, wishing now he just would have stayed away. Her tone of voice and the vicious way in which she spoke to him was uncalled for. "All I was doing was trying to apologize!" he grumbled, slamming the glass down on the counter, feeling that anger growing. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he screamed out, stepping back as he raised his arm, throwing the glass in the sink. It shattered on impact, sending bits of glass flying.

He used his foot next and kicked another hole in the cupboard at his feet. His temper tantrum was interrupted as Danny yelled out to him.

"Hey! Hey! What the hells going on? What's wrong?"

Steve turned, hearing the voice behind him, surprised to see him standing there but was glad he had someone to vent his frustration too.

His voice mirrored the enraged expression on his face. "She's a manipulative, backstabbing, self righteous little bitch! We never should have helped her that morning she was moving in! We should have let that couch fall on her!"

Danny raised his hands up trying to calm him. "All right, all right, settle down. Take a breath, Steve."

"You don't understand, she's just trying to mess with my head! She's using those kids against me too."

"What happened?" he led him out of the kitchen, seeing the busted cupboard at his feet as well as the one at his head from a few days before, assuming they were both from today. He didn't however notice the prescription bottle sitting on the counter amongst the dirty plates, bowls and glasses. The mess was unlike him, just as much as the rant he was currently displaying.

"All I tried to do was apologize to her," he explained. "That's it. God!" he clenched his hands in fists. "She pisses me off!"

"Hey!" Danny said, putting a hand on his back. "You need to calm down." He pointed toward the door. "Let's get out of here for a while." He figured if he could get him in the car and away from wherever the confrontation had taken place, assumingly at her house, or here in his, then he might become a little more rational.

He agreed, wanting to get away from her. He got in the passenger side of the Camaro and glared at her house as Danny quickly backed up.

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They pulled into a fast food restaurant that was up the street from his house. Danny figured a public place like this would calm him and then maybe they could talk. He looked over at him as he rested his elbow on the armrest of the door and stared out the window, clearly still agitated.

He waited behind another car in the parking lot entrance as the driver spoke to a twenty something man who was standing at his window. It was apparent the man was tall even as he leaned over the car, his firm build was apparent as well. Danny tapped gently on the horn to alert them he was there when the guy glanced over at him for just a second and then resumed his conversation with the driver as if he didn't care.

Danny gave him about ten more seconds and then beeped again, raising his hands as if saying 'come on, move'. Both men ignored him all together.

Steve looked up from his trance as Danny laid on the horn and lowered his window. "Move it," he yelled out to him.

The guy stepped back, looking at the two of them in the car, "Fucking relax man, your burger and fries ain't going nowhere."

"Is this guy for real," Danny huffed. He leaned out the window again, revving the engine. "I said move your ass, now!"

"Fuck you, asshole!"

Danny looked over at Steve, partly laughing over the balls of the guy when he saw him get out of the car.

"Did you just call my friend an asshole?" Steve asked as he approached the man.

He stood up straight, puffing out his chest. "Yea I did. What are you going to do about it?"

Steve came around the front of the Camaro and never broke stride, walking straight up to the man as he took a step toward Steve. The next couple of seconds left the man with a shattered nose and Danny practically climbing on Steve's back, trying to get him off the guy.

He finally got a hold of his arm and pulled him away, shoving him back toward the Camaro. "Back off!"

The driver started to get out when Danny flashed his badge, pulling him out the rest of the way and laying him out on the ground. "Don't move!"

He bent over the wounded man, seeing blood pouring from his nose. He glanced over at Steve who leaned against the car wiping his bloody hand off on his pants, showing no regret whatsoever.

He stared at him as if he had no idea who he was. The man that had just lost his temper and inflicted this damage was not the partner he knew.

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Danny anxiously tapped his thumb against the side of the cold glass of beer. He ran his other hand over his hair, looking out over the side of the booth just incase he missed her come in. He glanced around the bar trying to take his mind off the events of the day and the conversation he was about have. It was the worst-case scenario and he knew it, he didn't need to be told. He was there because Steve was his best friend and he had to know fore sure before he moved on.

He looked up as the door opened. The bright sunlight surrounded her like a silhouette, but he knew it was Anna right away. As the door closed he saw that she was headed in his direction. He rose out of the booth to greet her.

"Hi Anna, thanks for coming."

"Hi Danny."

"Have a seat," he motioned to the other side of the booth. "Do you want a beer or something to drink?"

"No, I can't stay long. The kids will be home from school soon." She looked at the half empty beer in front of him. "Aren't you on duty right now?"

"Yes, but after the day I've had…" he picked it up and took a drink, "I needed one of these."

"Why am I here Danny? Please don't tell me you are trying to patch things up with Steve and I because…"

"Did you break it off with him because he was still taking the pills?"

She sat back in the booth, looking across at him and then at his beer, recalling his words of having a bad day. "Why? What did he do to you?"

"Its not what he did to me, it's what he did to someone else. I think he needs help."

Anna huffed, "You think he needs help? No Danny, he does need help."

"What happened between you two? If you don't mind my asking?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"No."

"Of course he didn't, and if he did tell you anything, I'm sure it was a lie."

"By the tone of your voice I'm guessing it didn't end well."

Anna smiled up at the waitress as she approached the table. "I'm fine thanks." Her smile faded once they were alone again. She looked back over at him, sadly recalling she and Steve's last argument. "He said some things to me Danny that…" she felt her throat close up. "I'm not sure I ever want to see him again."

He sighed heavily. Her words were like a wake up call, he couldn't ignore the signs anymore. "He broke this guys nose today, for nothing. He just lost…"

"Lost his temper?" she finished his sentence for him.

He didn't like the way she pulled that out. "He didn't hurt you, did he Anna? I mean physically?" He couldn't believe he was even asking that question about Steve, but after his odd behavior the last couple of days he wasn't sure about anything anymore.

She shook her head, "No. He grabbed my wrist when I wouldn't give him back the pills and shook me, but it wasn't…it wasn't really hard I guess. I don't think he meant to hurt me."

He was stunned by that, "Don't make excuses for him, Anna."

"You're right. Don't you either. And I know you do, only because you love him as much as I do and you finally see what I've been seeing. It's awful isn't it?"

He ran his fingers up and down the glass, staring at his beer. "How many do you think he takes in a day?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I bet he doesn't even know. Its not about quantity, its about stabilizing that high and keeping it level or beyond."

"He told me about your father."

"That was his excuse to me, that I was paranoid because of my father."

"That's the same excuse he gave me, and I believed him. I'm sorry Anna," he said regretfully, "for not listening to you before."

She reached across the table touching his hand, "Don't you feel bad about anything that he's done. I learned the hard way that guilt is just as powerful as denial. I said that I don't want to see him again, but that's really not true. I don't want to see the man he is now…" her voice choked and her eyes instantly filled with tears. "The things he said to me." she sniffed, "maybe he was really feeling them."

"Hey!" Danny in turn took her hand, "listen to me. He loves you. I don't know what he said but you're right, it's not the man that you or I know. Before the accident I'd never seen him like that with anyone before. You and Jenny and Eric, the three of you became the center of his world. He loved it."

She reached over and took the napkin that was under his beer, using it to wipe her eyes. She looked out over the bar letting his words soak in, but she still wasn't sure she could move on with him after everything that had happened. At the moment she was heart broken and angry, but it went beyond her pain and had spilled over to Jenny and Eric. They both were feeling the effect of it as well. The mood in the house changed, regardless if she tried to shelter them from it. Eric was as angry as she was and they were both probably just as heart broken, but in a different way. Steve had become like a father to them. Jenny didn't understand the separation and didn't want too. She just wanted him back in the house, angry too that she wasn't allowed to go to his house and see him. That anger spread to Anna, she was the bad guy and Steve was still her hero. There was so much unhappiness in the house, which she had worked so hard to fill with joy, and it was all because of him.

Danny let go of her hand, seeing the pain and anger on her. "Something has to be done," he said. "Will you help me?"

"He won't take it. He doesn't think he needs it."

"There's going to be assault charges filed against him. He could lose his job. We're going to have to force his hand."

She looked back over at him, intrigued. "What did you have in mind?"

Danny smiled uneasily, "He's not going to like it."

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Steve came out his front door dressed in a long sleeve shirt, tie and dress pants, on his way to the routine monthly meeting with the Governor. He smiled, seeing Jenny at his gate. It was the first time they'd made physical contact since the break up.

Her hand waved excitedly as she did one of her signature leaps while he came toward her.

"Good morning sunshine!" he looked past her to the house wondering if Anna was watching.

"Hi Steve!" she lifted her arms out as he bent down on the one knee. She wrapped them around his neck, hugging him tightly. "I miss you. When are you going to start coming over and eating dinner with us again?"

He gave her a bear hug, forgetting how much he missed her. "I don't know honey. Maybe you and I could go for pizza or something."

"I want you to come over everyday and spend the night and have breakfast with us," her bottom lip stuck out as if she was pouting.

He reached out and moved a piece of hair from her cheek, stuck there from something sticky she'd eaten. "Does Anna know you're over here?"

She shook her head, "She's not home. A mom from Eric's school is watching us until we get on the bus."

"Where is she this early?" He felt his heart skip a beat, wondering if she had been gone all night. The thought of her being with another man made him want to run back in the house for his pills.

Jenny shrugged, "She left early and said she would see me after school."

He smiled, glad to here that. "Is Eric home?"

She nodded, "Yes. Why is he so mad at you? He gets mad when I wave at you. He tried to hold my arm one time, but I kicked him. I don't like it when he's mean."

Steve ran his hands down her arms, which looked tiny in his hands, "It's ok, don't be mad at him. I think he's mad because Anna and I had a fight and then we couldn't go camping like he wanted."

"You should buy Anna flowers and stop fighting," she whined. "I don't like it!" She moved up against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I miss our night time stories." She toyed with the tie he had on, wrapping it around her hand and then letting it fall off. "I want you to tuck me in."

"I know honey. I miss you too." He kissed her cheek, pulling her in a little closer.

"Jenny!" Eric yelled from the front door. "Get over here!"

"No!" she yelled back.

Steve looked down at her, putting his hand under her chin and lifting it so he could see her face. "You better go honey. We'll see each other again soon. I promise."

"You promise, promise?"

He nodded, praying he could keep it. "I promise, promise."

She hugged him once again tightly and then walked away, glancing over her shoulder as she made her way back across her yard. "Promise," she said again, only it came out more of a demand.

"Promise," he smiled but his insides were reeling over the sadness that was engulfing him. All the little things she reminded him of that she missed, he missed ten fold. The impact of the breakup was just now beginning to hit him. He'd been so consumed over his anger toward Anna that he didn't see the future as clearly as he was right then. He'd never be able to do those things with Jenny again, or the fun guy stuff he used to do with Eric.

He saw him across the way still standing in the doorway. He lifted his hand and waved at him, but even from a distance he could see the anger, or perhaps even the hatred that he felt for him. Eric ignored the gesture and closed the door after Jenny went inside.

"That house," he mumbled. "The women that come out of that house, they're cursed." Blaming Anna once again for the now separation of he and Jenny.

He turned away from the house, reaching his hand in his pocket and fishing out a pill. He put it in his mouth and swallowed it down, still not willing to admit to himself that they were the reason he wasn't able to have breakfast and tuck Jenny into bed anymore. He told himself he needed them for this meeting and then he'd start to cut back, he swore to himself that he would. He just needed to get through this meeting, hoping the Governor hadn't heard about the incident in the parking lot just yet. He needed a couple of days to get it straightened out before it got out of control. _'The little punk_,' he thought bitterly. '_He deserved it.'_

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Steve walked through the doors of the capital building and took the stairs up to the second floor offices of the Governor. It was his first meeting since he'd been back to work. The incident from the day before was still fresh and he glanced down at his hand that had caused the damage, telling himself again the guy deserved it.

As he came down the hallway toward the reception area he stopped at the men's room, going inside. He was pleased that it was empty and reached in his pocket once again, taking out one more just for good measure. He leaned over the sink and used his hand as a cup, taking a drink. The deal he had made with himself earlier was already forgotten as he made sure to leave enough for later incase he couldn't make it home before the other three in his pocket were used.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror adjusting his tie, not noticing his cheeks that had began to cave in under the weight loss, or the blue eyes that now looked sunken around the face that seemed narrower, even his constant whisker stubble that had always made him seem rugged, now just looked unkempt on a man that looked unkempt.

The receptionist looked up at him as he came down the hallway toward her desk. She picked up the phone, alerting the Governor of his arrival. She smiled brightly at his presence but it quickly faded as she tried to hide her concern over his appearance. "Yes Sir," she said into the phone and hung up. "Commander, its so nice to see you again."

"Hi Mary, how are you?"

"I'm fine Commander." She pointed over toward the Governor's office. "He's in his office. Go on in they're waiting for you."

"Office?" Steve asked surprised. "No conference room today for the meeting?"

"Oh, um," she stuttered. "Not today. A few are on vacation so the conference room wasn't necessary."

"Ok," he smiled.

He knocked once on the door as a courtesy and went inside as instructed. He saw Governor Denning first, sitting behind his desk and then as he came inside he was shocked to see Danny, Chin, Kono and standing in the corner was Anna. They were all looking at him except for Anna, she kept her eyes downcast.

"What the hells going on here," he asked, glaring over at Anna. He pointed at her. "Why is she here? What the hells going on?!"

Governor Denning rose up behind his desk shocked over the man standing in his doorway. It was the first time he'd seen in him since before he left for the reserves. He understood now all the stories that seemed out character for the man he had so much respect for. "Come in Commander and close the door." It wasn't a request but a demand.

He took a second, contemplating leaving and as if the Governor read his mind he responded to his hesitation.

"If you leave this office Steve, you leave your job behind." He motioned to the chair in front of his desk. "Come inside and have a seat."

His heart began to race out of control as he scanned the room, looking in the unwavering eyes of his team, trying to get a read on what was going on and the reason for Anna's presence. "Sir, is this about yesterday?"

"Sit down."

It suddenly dawned on him then as he walked over toward the chair. His attention focused on Anna, who had yet to look at him. "What did you tell them?" his voice low and threatening.

She knew it was her he was referring and slowly looked up, meeting the fiery eyes that she didn't recognize. "They asked me and I told them the truth. Nothing more."

"Goddamn it Anna," he growled.

"Sit down Steve! I'm not going to tell you again," the Governor roared.

His eyes angrily met the other three in the room as he sat down. "She's full of shit. You know that don't you?"

"Sit down Steve," Danny said calmly.

He could feel the betrayal in the room as his paranoia grew over what they were going to expect of him. He could feel the three pills in his pocket, wishing now he had left them in the truck for protection.

He looked straight ahead at the Governor as he sat back in his chair looking back at him as if he were studying him. "I had a hard time believing the things being said about you, but now that I see you…it's clear there's a problem. You look like hell."

"Gee, thanks for the compliment. If you aren't aware of it, a helicopter landed on me."

"I'm aware Commander."

Steve did everything he could to keep his temper under control. "Sir, if this is about yesterday, I can assure you it was all a misunderstanding."

The Governor ignored whatever excuse he was going to throw out at him. "Charges are being brought up against you. You'll more than likely have to go to trial, assuming you're going to plead innocent. The state won't help with your defense since you weren't on duty at the time. But," he held his hands up. "I can prevent all that from happening." He leaned forward on his desk and slid over two documents toward Steve. He tapped his finger on the one to the right, "This one is a copy of an assault charge that was filed this morning by the District Attorney's Office. " He tapped the other page. "This one is an admission form to an Oahu rehab center. You'll be admitted for no less than thirty days. Sign this one and when you get out, your job will be waiting for you. If you chose the other one, then when you leave this office, you'll leave your badge as well." He sat back in his oversized leather chair. "The decision is yours Steve."

He felt a shiver run down his body over the shock of what they were suggesting. "You can't be serious?" he said almost breathless, shifting in his chair searching out Danny first. "Danny, help me out here."

He slowly shook his head, "I can't. Sign the form Steve."

The blood in his body turned hot, showing on his face as he shifted again looking at Kono. "You're just going to stand there and let this happen?!"

She said nothing but just stood her ground with her arms crossed, telling herself to be strong.

"Jesus Kono, who's the one that put you where you are today? People at HPD respect you and look up to you because it was me that brought you in and trained you! And now you're just going to turn your back on me?!"

"No Steve, I'm standing here face to face with you. I'm here because I'm not turning my back on you. Sign the form."

He looked to Chin next. "I gave you back your job and when no one else would! I trusted you when no one else would! This is how you pay me back?"

"I respect you more than any man I've ever known," Chin replied. "I love you like a brother, that's why I won't let you destroy yourself. Sign the form."

He turned back around, facing the desk, his heart pounding out of fear of the unknown for the next thirty days and the anger at his so called friends and team. "Choice," he grumbled, "this isn't a choice. Do you have any idea what this will do to my reputation! I might as well quit!"

The Governor pointed to each person in the room. "The only ones that will know about this are the people here right now. As far as anyone else is concerned, you're on special assignment with the Navy."

Steve wiped his hands over his face as he began to sweat, wanting to run out of the room but knew he had no choice. He had nowhere to go if he did leave. This was his life. "Fucking bullshit," he said, pulling over the admission paper. "I'd take a bullet for anyone of you, I wish I could say it was mutual." He angrily scribbled his name and flung the paper back at the Governor.

"Steve…"

"Shut up, Kono!" he blasted her, "I don't want to hear anything from you." He finally looked over at Anna who stood off to the side. She stared back at him stoned faced. It was all her, he knew it. "I can't believe what you've done to my life," he said between gritted teeth. "I only hope your moved out in the next thirty days because I don't ever want to see your face again!"

She was surprised she didn't stumble over the impact of those words. They felt like a death sentence to her. She was glad when he looked away from her, so he wouldn't see her eyes as they filled with tears.

The Governor stood up handing Danny the form. "Danny will drive you to the center that's located at the base of Kualoa Mountains."

"I'll drive myself," he growled, not wanting to be in the car with him. "I have to go home first."

"No need. Anna and Danny packed you some things from your house. You leave right now, from here. You aren't allowed to drive yourself there. You have to be dropped off, so Danny will drive you."

He scuffed, "Well, isn't that quaint. You guys thought of everything now, didn't you!"

You may not see it now Steve," the Governor said, "but we're doing this for your own good."

He wanted to tell him to piss off, but held back, not wanting to jeopardize his job anymore than it already was.

He looked over at Anna, wishing he'd never met her.

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After what seemed like an eternity, Danny finally pulled in the gate of the Kualoa rehab center. The twenty-minute ride was silent as Steve stared out the passenger window trying desperately to figure a way out of this mess and still keep his job. But he couldn't come up with anything as Danny parked the car. The one thing he was certain of was that he was glad he was someplace where he could finally get away from him. Never before feeling the betrayal that he felt at that second from the only brother he'd ever known.

He got out the passenger side and looked up the sloping driveway that led to some dark, gray cement steps. They in turn led up to the glass door entrance with the word "Welcome" etched on it in a light yellow stain. The word was tacky and predictable for where he was at, but somehow the way it was designed on the glass didn't seem that way.

He reached in the back seat and grabbed the duffel bag of clothes and whatever Danny and Anna had decided that he would need for the next thirty days, still pissed off that she was in his house. What fucking right did she have to be there, either of them.

Danny got out the other side and closed his door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Steve asked, glaring across the roof of the car at him.

"I was going to walk up with you to the entrance."

"Never mind. I think you've done enough. You can leave now."

"I wasn't going to lie for you, Steve, or turn my head the other way."

"I would have for you."

Danny huffed, "In these circumstances? You can honestly stand there and tell me you would have?"  
"Yes! I would!"

Danny leaned on the roof of the car, looking directly at him. "Then you better not walk in there, you better pick up that bag and run."

Steve squeezed the handle of the bag, jerking it out of frustration, wanting to punch him. "Why don't you go fuck yourself Danny," were the last words he said to him as he turned and walked away.

He made his way up the driveway feeling the heat of the day on his back even though it was only seventy-eight and cloudy, considered cool to native Hawaiians. His breathing intensified as he gripped the handle of the bag tighter. He stopped at the base of the stairs and glanced over his shoulder as Danny drove out the gate.

He looked up the steps and couldn't make himself take that first one. It wasn't from the lack of wanting to, he knew he had too. It was from fear. He'd never been so afraid in his entire life of any one place as he was of this one. He honestly didn't think he could do it.

"Hi Steve."

He looked up seeing a heavyset Hawaiian woman coming down the steps toward him. She had on a pair of white nurse's smocks and a colorful Hawaiian shirt. She smiled at him and he could see her perfect teeth behind the gentle smile.

She stopped two steps before him. "I'm Emily. I've been expecting you."

"I don't belong here," he said to her.

She nodded as if she understood. "You're free to go. This is an open center. No one is forced to stay."

"If I don't stay I'll lose my job."

"Hmm," she sighed. "Maybe there are others who think you need to be here."

"They're wrong."

"Let me just ask you a question. Is there anyone in your life that you care enough about to stay just one night? Someone that maybe you've lost along the path that led you to here. Maybe that person is worth staying at least the night."

He knew there was only one. She loved him no matter what and until that moment he hadn't realize how much he had let her down. He'd never had anyone look up to him the way she did. At that moment Jenny was the only person he could think of in his life that hadn't tried to hurt him. He promised her just that morning that he'd be back and the only way to get there was to please the others.

He'd stay for Jenny.

He took that first step, following the woman up to the entrance.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Author note: Hi everyone. I just want to say something before you begin this next chapter. I know I may lose some of you as readers because this storyline is not the normal behavior for Steve, but writing the same ole' character as if they are flawless is what I consider boring and predictable. So if you decide to stick it out, I hope you enjoy where it goes. If you decide to move on, then I hope I see you again for the next story. **__** Aloha!**_

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"Emily, you're boy is up again."

She looked over at the monitor that was a link to the camera in his room. She saw him sitting up on the edge of the bed bent over, knowing exactly what that meant.

She hurried out of her chair and down the two doors to his room. She didn't knock, saving that courtesy for when he was issued a private room after detox. By the time she got in there he was already on his hands and knees trying to crawl to the bathroom. She didn't try to help him but instead reached over for the black can that was sitting by his bed. "Here Steve, its ok. You don't have go all the way in there. Here is fine."

He felt her hand on his back, gently caressing him. It felt comforting for all of about five seconds until the churning in his stomach began to rise to his throat. He leaned over the can and vomited, hoping it would end soon, not like the last time that went on for almost twenty minutes. His gut was still in knots over it. But as nature would rear her ugly head, just as he caught his breath, his stomach lurched again. He couldn't remember the last time he ate not knowing what it was that was falling in the bucket, nor could he remember ever being this sick before.

He sat back on his feet with his hands placed on either side of the pail looking down into it, wondering how everything had got so out of control. This was beneath him. He was better than this.

"Don't fight it Steve," Emily said, "just let it out. It's all the bad stuff that your body doesn't want anymore."

He saw a bead of sweat drip off the end off his nose into the bucket and then another one. "I don't belong here," he shuttered. "I'm going to leave as soon as I feel better."

Emily smiled, "Ok."

He turned his head, looking at her, "I mean it."

She only nodded.

"I don't like you," he whimpered, facing the bucket again as the pain in his stomach swelled. He went to tell her why, but was interrupted by another round of dry heaves.

"Don't use up all your energy on anger, honey, you're going to need that strength later on. Trust me." She kept a hand on his back, showing him that she was there for support no matter what he said to her. She had to admit though that he was the most courteous patient she'd ever had. Most patients at this stage of recovery hated her and were vicious in their words; calling her horrible names, one even trying to physically hurt her, so when Steve told her he simply didn't like her, she found it almost amusing.

She helped him back into bed as he rolled over away from her, pulling his legs up closer to his chest, not feeling the nausea any longer, but a painful cramping in his stomach. "I need something for my stomach," he ordered, "I have the flu. Get me something for my stomach." He refused to ask for Morphine, considering it a defeat in his eyes, still convinced he wasn't addicted to it, even though he would have literally cut off his right arm at that moment for just one pill.

"I don't have anything," Emily replied softly. "It's not the flu. The sooner you accept that the better."

"I was fine until I got here!" he barked out. "This place is dirty! You don't know…" he paused groaning through a sharp cramp in his lower abdomen. "You don't know what the hell you're doing!" he panted, "Are you even a doctor?"

"I'm here to help you, Steve." She came out of the bathroom with a cool towel, leaning over the bed and wiping his sweaty face off.

"Stop calling me…Steve!" he snarled, barely able to catch his breath. "I'm Lieutenant…Commander…Steve McGarrett." Even in his fit of anger he turned his head, allowing her to wipe his face off. The cool water felt good.

"Not here you're not," she said quietly, "here you're just plain ole' Steve."

"Its too light in here," he complained. "I need to sleep! How the hell can I sleep with so much fucking light in this fucking room," he growled.

Emily went to the window and closed the dark drapes, trying to accommodate him the best she could, but knew sleep was not going to come soon, or very easily. He was at what she considered second stage of his detox, which brought on profuse sweating, anxiety, shakes and more vomiting. His body was removing the toxins that had been living inside of him and the only way out was extremely unpleasant.

"If you need me I'm here," she said to him as she closed the door behind her, leaving only a sliver of light coming from the bathroom.

He ignored the words as he closed his eyes, shutting her out. She was useless to him. He wanted to sleep, knowing he needed it but the other half of his body was fidgety. What he really needed was a pill. He needed a pill badly, instinctively reaching down with unsteady hands to the shorts he had on, feeling over for pockets where he'd always kept them. He slammed his hands on the bed angrily, knowing he had nothing to ease the madness that was slowly engulfing him.

"How is he," Mark, a fellow employee asked Emily as she sat down in front of the computer in the office to record Steve's recent progress.

"He's very polite, considering."

Mark laughed. "Polite? Oh so he says please and thank you?" he joked, as he took a bite of a sandwich that was on a plate in front of him. "Are you going to give him supplements to wean him off?"

"No," Emily replied. "He hasn't been on the drug for very long. It's going to be cold turkey for that boy. It'll be best."

Mark nodded in agreement. "Has he started to talk yet?"

"No, but he'll come around. It's only been twenty-four hours. He's still in the denial stage. It's going to take a couple more days, but he'll come around. And mark my word, I can already tell by his nature, he's going to hit bottom hard, really hard." She looked up at the monitor, keeping an eye on his activity.

He threw the covers off the bottom half of his body and stretched his legs out on the bed, abruptly using his feet to get the rest of the hindering sheet off of him and rolled over on his back.

He rolled out of bed and began to pace the room, hoping to ward off the anxious feelings that seemed to be crawling all over him. "I can't believe they dumped me off in this shithole," he mumbled, turning and going in the opposite direction. "That little bastard Danny. I'm done with him! Done!" he shouted. "And Anna, that backstabbing fucking…" he leaned back against the wall. "She was never any good for me from the start. Why did you ever get involved with her?" He growled through his anger as he slid down the wall, "Thirty days here! No fucking way!"

He laid his head back against the wall with his legs bent in front of him, nervously rubbing his hands on his bare thighs, over and over again. His body struggling with the sudden physical changes as well as the psychological ones, along with the lack of sleep that was plaguing him, he was a mess.

His hands became damp from the sweat on his thighs as he wiped them off on his shirt. It stuck to his body from the dampness on his chest while a small stream of perspiration ran down his back. He irritably took his shirt off, wiping his face off first and then his neck and around to the back.

"Shit," he whimpered, using it to cleanse his arms next and then his face once again, repeating the process as if there was no end to the madness. He backed himself into the corner of the room, continuing the ritual over and over again until his shirt was as drenched as he was.

"Emily!" he yelled in a frightened voice. "Emily!"

She came in the room seconds later and switched the lights on, seeing him as he was on the monitor, backed into the corner of the room, fidgeting anxiously. "I'm here Steve."

"What's wrong with me?' he looked up at her with a desperate plea in his eye, gone was the cocky attitude from earlier. "Something's wrong. You have to get me out of here and to a hospital!"

She knelt down next him, "You're having withdrawal symptoms from the Morphine, Steve. It's going to be painful for a while, but you're strong and you can get through this. I'll help you all that I can."

Those words were what he needed to hear. He reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Get me some, Morphine. I just need maybe a pill or two, that's all. I won't take it after that anymore. I promise, ok?"

Emily shook her head as Mark and another attendant appeared at the door. The rooms were constantly monitored for the counselor's safety. Any physical contact by a patient, no matter how small, meant immediate action was taken. "You have to let go of my wrist Steve."

"Please, just get me some and everything will be ok."

"Will it? Or will you wake up tomorrow and have the same problem, needing more and then more?"

He let go of her wrist, angry that she wouldn't comply with his wishes. "You told me you would help me! You're not doing anything to help me!"

"Do you really think that getting you some Morphine will help you?"

"Yes!"

"How will that get you back to Jenny, Steve?"

He looked up at her as if she'd just said the one thing that shook his world. "Don't do that," he shuttered, his breathing suddenly escalating. "Don't use her against me. She's just a little girl." his voice suddenly becoming fearful. "She doesn't understand why I can't see her."

"Don't you think she deserves to have you in her life?"

"I want too but Anna won't let me. It's her fault! It's her fault I'm here."

Emily knew all the people in his life, his family tree so to speak, carefully laid out by the brief interviews of those who chose to come forward before his admittance. The ones that did were usually the ones that cared the most, but often times were also the ones that had been hurt the most by the addiction. When she met Anna, she was almost certain the relationship he'd had with her was going to be too far-gone to repair. She was very forthcoming with information and in her willingness for him to re-cover, but she was also the only one that declined a visit after the two-week mark.

"You take no responsibility in the decision she made to keep you away from Jenny? Why would she do that if she didn't have a reason?"

He pushed himself up the wall, moving away from her, not liking where this was going. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." He went to the black curtains that were still closed and opened one of them. The bright light stung his eyes and as he closed them to prevent the temporary blindness an image of Anna flashed before him. They were face to face, but he had her hand pinned against the wall, forcing her to release his pills. He blamed her that day for their downfall, but the image that he remembered now was her frightened expression, the one he'd chose to ignore.

He opened his eyes, not believing that what he saw was true. He would never physically hurt a woman, especially Anna. "She wouldn't trust me," he said in his defense.

"Maybe she was scared. Did she have a reason to be?"

He shook his head, hating the way she was putting these questions out there. To admit that he was even slightly capable of such a heinous thing was even more frightening than being there. "I would never hurt her like that."

"Sometimes we don't think we are hurting the ones we love until it's too late."

"Stop it!" he yelled, closing the curtain again. "I don't want you here anymore! You don't know me! You don't know anything about me, or Anna!"

Emily walked to the door as Mark and the other attendant backed up, "You're right, but at one time I think you were happy with Anna. I think your life was fulfilling. I'm just here to help you find out where it all went wrong and why you ended up here with me instead of with Anna."

She closed the door before he could reply, leaving him with that thought to dwell on.

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Anna held the phone in her hand with the number on the screen. She took in a deep breath and pushed send. She rolled her eyes and let out the breath she'd been holding as it began to ring. She knew one of two people would answer, and they did.

"Hi Daryl," she said, glad it was him and not Alyssa. "How are you?"

"Anna!" he replied happily. "It's great to hear your voice. How are the kids?"

"Good. Good. They're fine," she rolled her eyes again, hating having to lie. They were all a mess. It was like winter in the house even though they lived in a tropical paradise. "Is Alyssa around? I really need to talk to her."

"Sure. Hold on one second. She's just coming out of makeup. We're on set in New York. It's her first dramatic lead roll. She's doing pretty well actually…"

"That's great," she interrupted, not really caring.

"Alyssa!"

Anna heard him yell out and then cuff the phone, wishing he had put it on mute instead, because she could hear the argument not having to guess any longer whether or not her twin was still harboring anger toward her. She heard her finally agree to take the call but not very happily.

"Hello," Alyssa said and then huffed. "So, are you finally calling to apologize to me?"

Anna rolled her eyes for a fourth time, "Would that make you feel better, Alyssa?" She hated having to cater to her, but right now she had no choice, she needed her help; but really she just needed her money.

"I'm very busy Anna, what do you want?"

Anna closed her eyes, biting her bottom lip, trying to muster up the strength to ask.

"Excuse me," Alyssa said impatiently, "I have a life. You might be able to waste time sitting on a phone but I don't. What?"

"I need about twenty thousand dollars."

It was now Alyssa's turn to roll her eyes. "For what? The house is paid off." She felt a shiver of fear. "The kids aren't sick are they?"

"No, no. They're fine." She swallowed down her pride. "I want to come home and I need the money to do it."

"What?" she laughed. "You got to be kidding me? What about your Navy Seal hero?" she laughed again. "Oh wait, let me guess. He's out of the picture. He turned out to exactly like I said he would be, didn't he?"

"Alyssa, I really don't want to talk about…"

"No," she said abruptly. "I won't give you the money. Sell the house, use that."

"That could take months! I want to come home now," she felt her throat closing up, but refused to let Alyssa hear it.

"You pinned me against the wall and choked me, threatened me and now you want me to send you money? Forget it! You made your bed, now you lie in it."

"Ok," Anna recanted, "ten thousand and I'm sorry, ok. I'm sorry."

"Call me when you get into town and maybe we'll do a lunch," Alyssa said before hanging up. "And oh, by the way, I told you so."

Anna knew her last statement was meant toward she and Steve's relationship. Asking her for the money was a lost cause, Alyssa always had to get the last word in and she also knew she was loving every second of this. In hindsight, maybe she had been right.

She slumped down in the chair in the kitchen, slamming the phone down on the table. She stared outside into the backyard. Alyssa was her only hope for a quick move. She had no choice now, if she wanted off this island she was going to have to sell the house. She just wanted to be gone before Steve got back. It was what he wanted too. He made it perfectly clear as they stood in the Governor's office. There was no going back after that. He hated her, and any feelings she had for him she'd managed to tuck away, it was easier that way than crying for him everyday. She couldn't do it anymore.

Her eyes focused on the tree in the backyard that she had fallen out of and broken her arm. He'd magically appeared at her side like some gallant hero that had stepped off the pages of some romantic novel. That night was the beginning of their friendship. She could hardly believe all the nights they'd spent together and all the plans they'd made for the future and this is where they ended up. It all seemed like a dream now, like some fantasy that she had imagined. It must have been an illusion, because they couldn't possibly have been that happy and ended up here, so in incredibly unhappy.

She quickly sat up and wiped away the moisture from her eyes. "Stop!" she spoke out loud, "Don't go there. You don't have the time or the energy today."

She pushed herself out of the chair and went to the counter by the sink and began to clean up the morning mess from making lunches for Jenny and Eric. She folded the bread package closed and reached over for the lid to the peanut butter when the memory of the time she had whipped together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for him on his way out the door after spending his first night in the house with her. That warm, secure feeling of being in love swept through her, not having felt it in a long time, not sure she ever would again.

She thought about where he was now and how he was getting along, hoping he had stayed. She hadn't seen any activity at his house, assuming he had. The part of her that made him the peanut butter and jelly sandwich missed him. She missed his silly jokes and one-liners. She missed him rolling over in bed at night and putting his arms around her, even when he was asleep. She missed walking into a room and seeing that look from him, reminding her that she was loved.

The first tear fell, landing on the counter as she wiped away the next one, putting the lid on the jar and reaching over switching the TV on in the kitchen that she had purchased to help distract her from these moments right here that could sneak up and literally cripple her for the rest of the day. She didn't have time for them anymore. The thirty-day clock was ticking down and she didn't want to be here when it struck zero.

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Mark came flying out of his chair and into the next room where Emily was taking a nap, switching the light on.

"Emily!" he said needing to wake her quickly, but knowing during his break times while on detox watch that he hated being startled out of deep sleep. "Emily!" he said again as her eyes opened. "He's up. He had a nightmare," he said to her, knowing the signs all too well.

Emily was up and off the cot in a flash, fully awake as she followed him out through the office, stopping at the monitor feed from Steve's room to see his condition before she went to him.

"What happened?" she asked, seeing Steve standing in the corner clearly shaken by whatever had happened.

"He'd been sleeping since you went down and then all at once he shot out of bed like he was on fire."

She hurried down the hall to his room, knowing these moments were crucial.

He couldn't shake the gruesome image from his mind, not knowing if it were true or not. He had to get out and see her. He had to know she was all right. He swore he hadn't left the room but was confused because the dream felt so real he couldn't distinguish between it and reality at the moment. His mind was cluttered with the fear of seeing her dead and even more disturbing was the blood on his hands.

He looked down at them again in the semi dark room, and then began to frantically wipe them on his shorts, trying to get it off. It was her blood that was on his hands. He'd done it; he thought disturbingly, he'd taken her life with his own hands. The panic and fear inside of him grew ten fold as he trembled in the corner of the room.

Emily came in, switching the light on as he tried to hide the evidence of what he had done. She quickly went to his side. "Steve, look at me."

"Go away," he shuttered, afraid he'd hurt her too. "Please, I can't be trusted," he shuttered, his arms crossed, hiding his hands. "What's happening to me?"

"You had a nightmare."

He shook his head, "It was real," he looked up at her, all the terror he felt from it shown on him. "I think I hurt her," his voice shaky as the real shock began to emerge on him. "I think I might have killed her."

"Who?" Emily asked him. "Tell me what happened."

He looked past her to see if anyone else was there. "Anna," he said barely above a whisper as his voice choked. "I think I hurt her really bad. There's blood on my hands."

"It was a dream, Steve, Anna is fine. You were here the whole time."

He shook his head, "I don't think so."

She took ahold of his arms that were tightly crossed and bound to his chest, pulling them apart. "Look, there's no blood. You just had a bad dream." She held each one of his hands in hers, showing him. "See, nothing."

He stared at her, almost afraid to see for himself.

"It's ok, honey you can look."

He trusted her words that came out soft and calm, knowing she must be telling the truth. He slowly looked down at his hands that were clean. He was beside himself with relief as he fell back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting, all the while staring at his hands.

Emily knelt down on the floor next to him. "See, it was just a dream. You didn't kill anyone."

He realized then the comparison to what he had dreamt and what his reality was. His head fell forward into his hands. "Yes I did," he whimpered. "I loved her. I killed what we had together." He raised his head, leaning it back against the wall. For the first time in months he could see clearly the mistakes he'd made. He didn't know if it was the dream that had awakened him or if it was being off the pills but he felt a clarity that was unlike anything he ever had before. He turned and looked at her. "I know why I'm here now. I think…" he stopped mid-sentence coming head to head with his emotions, ultimately taking the blame for what had happened between he and Anna. It was a crushing blow as he realized her only intent was to help him and all the while he fought back with lies upon lies.

Emily put a hand on his shoulder, this was her favorite part of detox; it was that breakthrough moment when they finally came into the light. "It's ok, Steve," she affirmed, seeing the struggle in him to hold back what he was feeling. "There's nothing to be afraid of here. Whatever happens stays between you and me. My only purpose is to help you along the process of becoming whole again."

He wiped his hands down his face; stopping mid way, trying to fight off the tears that were forming as he realized the devastating dilemma he was in. "I can't go back," he declared, recalling only a portion of the vicious words that had come out of his mouth to all the people that loved and supported him. "I can't." He couldn't think of one person in his life that he hadn't alienated before coming there. "I have nothing to go back to. No one."

He bent his head as the relentless tears began to fall, coming to terms with his life that was no longer his.

"Don't count all those people out of your life just yet. Remember, they are the ones that stood up and brought you here. And what about the person that you stayed for? Don't you think Jenny deserves you back?"

He shook his head. "I let her down," he replied, thinking then of Eric and how he must look in the boy's eyes now. "I let them all down." He felt the impact of that statement as it hit him full force. He was the leader. He was the one that always stood tall and made sure everyone behind him was safe and sound. It was difficult to come to terms knowing he'd been the one that they were hiding from. He was the enemy. "I can't go back." He was sure of it now as the fear of an unknown future broke through and crippled him.

Emily smiled even though he sat next to her and quietly cried for all the mistakes he'd made, but to her it was a triumph, and only the beginning of his recovery. He had finally hit bottom and she looked forward to helping him climb up and out of the hole. He still had a long way to go but he was well on his way.

His body continued to be rocked by the pain of withdrawals from the Morphine, but he knew it would eventually fade away, but the ache that he felt in his heart over what he'd lost with Anna, he knew that pain and regret would last a lifetime.


	25. Chapter 25

Emily came in the room holding a tray as Steve slowly pushed himself up on the bed, leaning back against the wood framed headboard. He saw the tray and went to get up to help her when she quickly declined.

"Stay put," she smiled, setting the tray down on the mattress next to him.

He was glad he didn't have to help because over the last twelve hours since what he was now referring to as his 'awakening' he had less energy than he did after some of his thirty-six hour BUD/S training exercises.

Emily opened up a folding chair that Mark had brought in earlier and sat down in it next to Steve's bed. Her jet-black hair was up in the signature bun behind her head with a pink hibiscus flower tucked into it. He noticed just then that she'd worn one everyday since he'd been there, same flower but a different color. She also wore the signature nurse attire of blue smock pants and a Hawaiian smock top. Her heavyset figure covering most of the chair she sat in.

She had an excellent bedside manner, which made her perfect for this job, but it was her gentle smile and serene voice that Steve was drawn too. She had an instant likeability. He trusted her from the get go and being the type of person he was where trust was something he didn't throw out easily, he was impressed by not only himself but of her as well.

He looked down at the tray as the aroma hit his senses full on, feeling his stomach growl over the need for food.

"I wasn't sure what you liked," Emily said, "but I've never been steered wrong with good ole' fashioned chicken noodle soup, a peanut and butter jelly sandwich and chocolate pudding." She saw him staring at the food thinking maybe he was the first to not like this choice. "If you want something else Steve, please let me know. I can have anything…"

He shook his head. "No, this is ok." He wasn't staring at the food in general; he was staring at the peanut and butter and jelly sandwich, remembering the last time he'd had one. Anna had made it for him the morning after he'd spent the night with her. The hunger in his stomach vanished as the depression took over.

Emily picked up the spoon and dipped it in the chocolate pudding. She put it up to his mouth like he was an infant. "I can do the airplane noise, but I know you're a Navy man, would you prefer the puttering of a motorboat instead?"

Steve couldn't help but smile and chuckle over her playfulness.

She tilted her head looking at him. "I like that smile. You have a beautiful smile, Steve. I want to see more of it," she shook the spoon, "but right now I want to see you eat."

He took the spoon from her hand and put it in his mouth. His taste buds stung at the sweet taste of the chocolate, not having eaten anything for the past twenty-four hours, and what he had eaten always came back up. He was pretty sure the vomiting part was behind him, but even so, he ate slowly and chose the soup over the desert just incase his body didn't want to agree with his head.

Emily took a drink of her Coke as she watched him finish off the soup. "I'm moving you into a better room tomorrow. It has a nice view of the mountains and is in a quieter section of the center away from the other guests that are here."

He looked over at her curiously. "Private? Why am I being secluded?" he thought then maybe he had done something wrong.

Emily leaned forward putting a hand on his knee, seeing the concern over that decision on his face. "It's nothing to do with anything you've done, Steve," she assured him, "it has to do with who you are." She sat back in the chair again. "I had a meeting with my colleagues and we all agreed that considering your status…" she smiled, "how was it you put it to me on your first day," her voice going deep, "Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett."

She smiled as he bent his head, grinning and clearly embarrassed.

"I think I got a little carried away with that title."

"Well, nonetheless it is true and considering some of the clientele that we have here, meaning that some have criminal backgrounds because of the drug use, we thought it might be best to keep your group therapy between just you and me. I don't want you to run into someone that you have arrested and vice versa."

He nodded his understanding, appreciative of that. It had never crossed his mind but would have been extremely awkward if it did happen. "Thank you for that."

"It's for the best. My main concern is for your well-being and to make sure you feel comfortable in your surroundings. I won't ever put you in a situation that I don't think you can handle. Sometimes it may feel that way but sometimes I have to take extra measures to work through a problem rather than step around it."

He felt a wave of fear go through him knowing he was going to have to face some issues that maybe he never had before. He'd only been there for maybe four days, he wasn't even sure, having lost track of time, but knew he had a lot more to go through before he left at the end of his thirty days, not having the same will to leave anymore. He wanted to stay, still frightened of what was waiting for him when he got back. "I have a feeling," he said quietly, "that detox is nothing compared to what lies ahead."

"Like I said, it's nothing that you can't handle. We won't be in a group setting like you probably imagined, it'll just be you and me and perhaps another counselor at times. I'm not here to make things overly difficult on you Steve, but I am here to help you find out why you came to be here."

That fear inside of him kept growing until it became physically visible as he began to tremble. "I know I have a lot of issues that I pretend don't exist," he bent his head, feeling the rumblings in his stomach as the food began to churn, but it wasn't from the detox this time, it was from the fear of having to come to terms with those issues that he never had to before.

He felt her hand on his shoulder. "Everyone has issues Steve. That doesn't make you weak or different than the person standing next to you in line at the grocery store, its just how we deal with those issues that makes you different, when all is said and done, I'm hoping that together we can help you overcome what it is that you're most afraid of."

He didn't know that definitive answer off the top of his head, because at the moment it was everything.

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Emily opened the door to his new room and went in first as he followed behind her. She went straight for the window and opened it up allowing some fresh air in.

The first thing he saw was the amazing view of the Ko'olau Mountain Range outside his window. He found it peaceful and comforting having climbed it many times over the course of his life. It was kind of like having a piece of home in the unfamiliar place he was now at.

His duffel bag that he'd arrived with but hadn't seen since that day was sitting on his bed. He glanced around the room that would be his home for the next twenty-five days. It was better than he had expected. It was larger for one thing, but anything would have been better than the small room he came from. He never wanted to go back in there, or even see that part of the center again. It only held bad memories and a shame that he wasn't sure he would ever forgive himself for. The yellowish beige paint on the walls he was sure was picked for the calm effect. He had to admit, it did the trick. He felt ok there. So far so good, he thought.

Emily walked past him to the bathroom and turned the light on. "There's plenty of hot water. I've never heard anyone complain about running out, so indulge yourself." She knew he'd only showered once since being there, and that was only because he hadn't made it to the bathroom and needed to clean up.

"I don't think I've taken a shower longer than two minutes in the last fifteen years," he said, glancing inside.

Emily looked horrified over that. "Get over that here honey, those showers are custom made with jets that come out from three of the four walls." She smiled. "Live a little."

Steve grinned, "Yes ma'am."

"I'm going to go and let you get settled in and cleaned up. I'll be back in a little while and then I'll take you around and give you a tour of the place."

"Ok."

"How are you feeling, Steve? Are you good with this room? Do you feel comfortable here?"

He was surprised over the question, "Yes, it's fine. It's actually better than what I expected."

Emily smiled, "Good." She motioned with her hand around the room. "There aren't any cameras in this room. This is your own private sanctuary. No one will come in here unless we're invited," she shrugged, "or unless we feel the need to, but you understand right?"

He held his hands up, "I promise I won't give you any trouble."

"That is yet to be seen," she replied jokingly before going out and closing the door behind her.

He stood in the middle of room looking around again at his surroundings. The twin bed looked comfortable as he leaned over pressing his hand on it, feeling a pillow top mattress under the dark blue comforter. There was a small desk and chair by the window, but he noticed then there were no TV and no phone, not sure how he felt at the moment about either one of those. He wasn't a big TV watcher and there was no reason he needed a phone right now. Who would he call anyway?

He sat down on the bed and pulled over his duffel bag not sure what he was going to find inside, considering he hadn't packed it. The clothes he had on were given to him to put on after he'd arrived. The shirt and shorts were from the center. He was glad to be getting out of them and into something of his own.

He unzipped the bag and found his black leather travel bag that held all his personal grooming supplies, unzipping that one as well. Inside was his razor with back up heads, a can of shaving cream, a half full tube of toothpaste and his toothbrush and deodorant. He shuffled through the items wondering if Anna or Danny had packed it when he came across the mirror that he used when he shaved in the shower, knowing now that Anna had packed this. She'd been in that shower with him when he used it. Danny wouldn't have known to pack that. A smile crossed his lips recalling once when she had shaved him while they showered together. She'd done well, only nicking him once, but what he remembered the most was watching her while she did it. He could still remember the concentration on her face as she carefully moved the razor over his cheeks and chin, thinking how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to be standing in the shower with such an incredible woman. It was the first time the word love had entered his mental vocabulary in his relationship with her.

He looked down at the items finding comfort knowing she had been a part of the process of getting him where he was. He took out the mirror, startled over his reflection in it, not having seen himself for days. He set it down and went into the bathroom and stood before the larger mirror staring at the stranger who was looking back at him. His beard was almost full, barely showing any skin from the top of his cheeks down over his neck. But it was his eyes and the narrow line of his face that even with the beard looked sickly. He ran his hand over it just to make sure it was really him, not recognizing himself.

It brought tears to his eyes realizing then what Anna must have gone through watching this transformation. He'd done to her exactly what her father had done. That thought alone weakened him, knowing he'd preyed upon the one thing in her life that she was most afraid of.

The thought of facing her ever again was mortifying. The things he said to her were unforgiveable in his eyes. He cringed at the last words she'd heard spoken from him. How could he possibly ask for forgiveness or even attempt to think he'd be welcomed back after that? He told her he didn't ever want to see her face again. He was sure those words severed the only fragile link that had been holding them together.

He closed his eyes, not able to look at himself anymore knowing what he'd done to her. He hated himself for it; but was sure that it wasn't as much as Anna did. If there was one thing he could count on at the moment, it was that she hated him more.

The sooner he came to terms with that and let go the hope of some kind of reconciliation with her, the better.

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Steve walked down a hallway with Emily as she pointed out places they passed. She stopped at another door and opened it.

"This is the book room," she explained. "As you probably figured out already, there are no TV's in the rooms. We prefer you read or write in your Journal." She pointed toward an area, "I'll give you a notepad and pens to begin with but if you ever need more, there's a supply over there. We have a wide range of books, nothing to complicated or racy or even political, just good old-fashioned novels. You'll find everything from Moby Dick to Daniel Steele's latest romance." She smiled at him. "I see you as a mystery reader more than a romance one, but," she chuckled, "I've been wrong before."

"I like thrillers, although my partner thinks I'm more into war books."

"You mean Danny?"

He was shocked that he knew his name, but then figured he was probably the one that registered him. "Yes, Danny. Have you met him?"

Emily smiled, not wanting to begin a session with him right then and there. "We'll talk about that later."

He tried to judge that answer by the tone of her voice whether it was good or bad, but couldn't come up with a definitive answer. "Ok," he replied, feeling that dread in the pit of his stomach again. He'd already lost Anna; if he lost Danny over his stupidity he wasn't sure what he'd do.

She closed the door and went to the next one that had the word gym on it. She opened it up and Steve was pleasantly surprised over the state of the art workout equipment inside.

"Wow, this is nice." He walked past her inside, going up to treadmill that looked barely used.

"I take it then that you will use this room?"

"Yes, I like to swim in the ocean, but this good too. I swam everyday," he recoiled some, correcting himself, "well, I mean I used to swim everyday, but I kind got out of the habit of it when I…" he paused not wanting to say it, "you know."

"Yes, when you became addicted to the Morphine. You can say it, Steve. It's no secret, to anyone."

He slightly turned his head, seeing her in his peripheral vision. Her forwardness came on strong sometimes, he found it annoying at the moment, ignoring her reply. "Can I use this room whenever I want?"

"Sure."

She closed the door behind her and went into another one but just opened the door showing him. "This is the group room where you and I will meet four days a week to talk. We call it the group room because usually there is a group session in here."

He remained in the hallway and just glanced inside, already afraid of that room. He turned and looked down the corridor as if ignoring the place all together. "Can I go outside at all?"

Emily closed the door, knowing it was making him uncomfortable. She was going to start his first session the next day but decided to bump it up to that afternoon right after lunch instead. She didn't like the idea that he was already falling back into denial. "Of course you can go outside."

They continued down the hallway passing another patient and counselor.

"Hi Emily," the counselor said stopping before them. He turned to the older woman standing next to him. "This is Barb. She arrived a week ago."

"Congratulations, Barb," Emily replied, "Welcome. This is Steve. He's been with us five days now."

He smiled but was shocked at the other patient's age that he guessed to be around seventy but was even more surprised at the casual introduction as if they were at a cocktail party or something. After they moved on he turned to Emily. "Was she here for addiction?"

Emily shrugged, "You're never too old to start over."

"I thought I wasn't going to be around other people because I'm a cop."

"I said I didn't want you in group therapy because you're a cop but I can't keep you sequestered, besides," she smiled looking at his beard that he hadn't shaved off, "I don't think anyone will recognize you. I thought for sure you would shave it off."

He reached up, touching his face. "I've never had one before. I figured since I'm this far, what the heck." He told her that story, but the truth was he felt safe behind the beard, afraid to shave it off and see the monster he felt he'd become.

They continued down until they went through the two double glass doors that led out to the grounds. The path that began just outside the door led through a garden that was filled with a variety of flowers and trees making it a very serene place. There were benches and several picnic tables that were scattered all around. Some occupied and some not. In the distance he could see the ocean, and in the opposite direction was the majestic Ko'olau Mountain Range once again. He liked this space. It kind of reminded him of his own backyard.

"There is no curfew here," Emily explained, "and the doors are never locked. We have a tight security system and people walking the grounds at night who are very familiar with who the guests are, so if you decide you want some fresh air at night, feel free to come out and take a breather. No one will bother you. The only thing we ask is that you don't leave the campus grounds."

He agreed to her request and took one last look before they ventured back inside.

She took him to the kitchen next. "In here is just about anything you could ask for in the food department. If you have a special request or need, the chefs will do their best to accommodate you, to a degree you understand."

"I'm not really a picky eater," Steve said.

"Then they'll love you," Emily replied. "Breakfast is from six to ten. Lunch is eleven to two and dinner is four thirty to six thirty, but the kitchen is always open and a chef is on duty twenty-four hours a day. You just tell him what you want from the list available and he'll make it on the spot."

"Twenty four hour room service?" Steve chuckled. "This is more like a resort."

"We want you to feel comfortable here. This isn't a resort. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you Steve, you're going to have some of the most challenging and stressful moments of your life while you're here," she put a hand on his bicep, "but you will also have some of the most rewarding."

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They had breakfast and Emily walked him back to his room.

She handed him a notebook that she had picked up on the way back as they passed the book room, handing it to him as they stood in the doorway. "Here, you're first assignment is to write something in your Journal."

He took the paper and variety of pens and pencils that had a rubber band around them from her. "Write about what?"

"That's up to you. It can be anything you want, just write whatever you feel inside at the moment."

"You mean like a letter?" he asked confused not sure what she was asking.

Emily shrugged, "If that's what you want. It's only for you. You can share what you write if you want, but you don't have to. It's only for you." She turned and started walking down the hall toward her other office that she used now that he had moved rooms. "After lunch, meet me in the group room. Two o'clock."

He watched her walk away, still a little confused about the Journal, but went inside his room and closed the door. He sat down on the bed rather than choosing the small desk by the window.

He flipped open the cover of the notebook all the way over until just the first page was visible. He then began to slide the rubber band off the pencils when it broke. A piece of it snapped back, hitting him in the hand leaving a small welt.

"Ouch, damn it!" he said dropping half of the writing utensils on the floor.

He looked down at the red mark when all at once he felt the craving for a pill. He wanted that satisfying stimulation that eased the pain; even though this was so minuscule it wasn't even considered painful, yet his body reacted to it as it had been programmed too, pain equals Morphine.

He felt the panic in him climbing, knowing there was no relief for the craving that was taking over his body. The dread feelings of detox came flooding back, using that as the crutch not ever wanting to go back to that place again.

"Find something," he said out loud, pacing the room back and forth, not sure what he was looking for but needed something to take away from what was pulling him down. He knew he could leave at anytime and also knew that if he did, that he could feel the instant relief and high his body was aching for in probably less than an hour. He still had his stash in the spice cupboard of his house that no one knew about. He could make it home in an hour, probably less.

He stopped pacing; realizing his train of thought had drifted to the worst-case scenario, "Stop! You can't leave. You can't go back, this is it, right here. This is the place. You're here for a reason. You're here for a reason," he said over and over, still fighting the craving that was now causing him to sweat which only intensified his paranoia that those thoughts could overcome him at any second and he'd be powerless to fight them, thinking of the bottle sitting in the cupboard at home.

He grabbed the notebook off the bed and sat down, picking up a pen from the floor and started scribbling out words on the page. He frantically wrote the first words that popped into his head.

_Jenny, Eric, Anna, Danny, Chin, Kono, Mary, work, freedom, health, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna, An… regret, loss, fear, hurt, anger, liar, liar, liar…_

He pounded his fist on the notebook hating who he'd become to her. In his eyes he'd turned into exactly what he had worked so hard to get off the streets everyday. He was one of them now. His hand began to write again.

_humiliating, degrading, liar, cheater, hated, hated, hated _

He flung the notebook across the room like a Frisbee as it slammed into the wall across the way. He stood up and began to pace the room again. "You piece of shit!" he growled angrily. "You ruined it for everyone! You don't deserve her! You don't deserve anyone! Look at you! Look at where you're at! Look what you've become you fucking coward!" he yelled angrily, clenching his hands into fists, wanting to hit something.

He stormed into the bathroom and faced himself in the mirror, "You're nothing but a fucking coward. You let it beat you! You let it take control!" He slammed his fist into the reflection, cracking the glass.

"You're such a pussy, hiding out like a fucking coward!" he blasted himself as he took his black leather bag and dumped it over on the counter, shaking out the items that were inside. They spilled out one by one as he grabbed the can of shaving cream before it rolled off onto the floor. He sprayed a hefty amount into his hand and abruptly rubbed it over his beard and then reached for the razor.

He started at the top of his cheekbone and sliced through the dark course hair over and over until it was smooth, rinsing the blade under the cool water and repeating until there wasn't a speck of beard left on his face.

He stood looking at the results as several small nicks shown bright red, catching one with the back of his hand that began to trickle down his chin. He forced himself to stand there and look at the person he'd become. Through the haze and anger that had subsided he saw himself.

He wasn't a monster and he wasn't a coward. He'd made mistakes and lost his way, but he'd made it through detox and made it through his first craving, still struggling with it but feeling more in control than a few minutes before. He was a fighter and a soldier at heart and always would be, focusing on that side of who he was, rather than the negative that would only lead to failure. There was no room for failure on this mission. It was do or die.

"Forward march," he said to his reflection, chuckling to a certain degree.

He went back in the room and picked up the notepad writing one last entry for the day.

_Dear Morphine, _

_ FUCK YOU!_

A wry smile appeared on his lips as he closed the cover and tossed the notebook on the bed.

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Emily sat on a cushioned fold up chair in the group room, making an outline on her notepad for she and Steve's first session together as he came in through the slightly ajar door.

"Hi." She glanced up for just a second and then went to focus on her notepad again when she noticed his clean-shaven face, looking back up at him with a smile. "Wow! Look at you. A new man." She scanned the rest of him as he chose a pair of black basketball shorts and a plain dark blue T-shirt with blue and white Nikes.

He rubbed his hand over his chin, "Yea, I was already sick of it," he lied, but didn't want to tell her about the incident he'd gone through, still slightly reeling over it.

"Have a seat." She motioned toward an identical chair to hers that was a couple of feet away but directly across from her.

He saw the notepad in her hand and pointed over his shoulder to his room, "I didn't bring that notebook, should I have? I can run and get it."

"You don't have to bring it, not unless you want to share something you've written in it?"

He shook his head as he sat down. "No."

She left it at that, not asking whether he had followed her request to write something down. The journal was his business unless he chose to include her in it. She picked up her can of Coke that was sitting on the floor next to her and took a drink. "Do you want something to drink before we start? I can get you a Coke or water or something?"

Steve shook his head. "I'm fine thanks." He looked past her and around the room trying to get a feel for it. There was only a table along one wall and no windows, but it didn't feel stuffy at all, maybe because of the size of it. He remembered her telling him that groups met here, but with only the two of them it was defiantly large for what they were using it for. He felt ok so far, still feeling a little unnerved from his earlier ordeal but glad that he had that first one under control, at least at the moment.

Emily allowed him a minute to get comfortable in his surroundings before she began. It was important to her that he feel relaxed, knowing that it will help the conversation flow better if his guard was down.

"I only have one rule in here Steve, and that rule is honesty. I don't mean just towards me, I mean towards yourself, but it works both ways, because if you aren't honest with yourself then you aren't being honest with me, ok?"

He nodded, "Ok."

She saw him fidget in his chair. "Is there anything you want to say before we start?"

He thought about that for a second wondering if he was supposed to say something. "How long do these last, these sessions?" After he said it he regretted it, not wanting her to think he was anxious to get out already, even though he was. But he didn't want to be difficult for her either. "I mean I'm just curious."

"It's a good question," Emily responded. "There is no time limit. They can last ten minutes or they can last four hours, it all depends on the situation."

"Who is allowed to end it, me or you?" he asked.

"Only me. We can take breaks if you want, but I don't want you running out the door to try and escape from where a conversation is headed, so I may deny a break to you."

He nodded his understanding again, trusting her judgment that she'd lead him slowly into his treatment, until she asked her first question.

She crossed her hands on her lap, looking directly across at him. "Tell me about your family?"

He let out a laugh, not able to control it. She had no idea how loaded that question was. He looked across at her but she remained unaffected by his outburst, which in turn settled him quickly. "My family?" he questioned, "Which one? My work family or my family, family?" Letting her know right away how important others in his life were to him.

"Your family, family."

He huffed, deciding that he'd give her the quick low down; otherwise they could be there for hours.

"Not much to tell except that my Mom worked for the CIA as an undercover informant and faked her own death when I was fifteen. My Dad spent all of his time searching for her killer after he found out her death wasn't an accident. He eventually sent my little sister Mary and I to live in California with relatives that I barely knew. I did what I could to hang on until I graduated from high school and was old enough to join the Navy. My mom showed up a couple of years ago claiming she was sorry. She stuck around for, I don't know, as long as she felt the need, and then disappeared again. I don't know where she's at, and my Dad was killed by the men that were looking for her."

He sighed, looking straight at her as if what he had just said was as normal as the Brady Bunch story.

But the thing that shocked him was that it didn't shock her.

"What makes you happy, Steve?"

He shrugged, wondering if he'd gone too far in his analogy of his family and that's why she was changing the subject. "Work, watching football, I don't know. Lot's of stuff I guess."

"Those are things that you do to make other people happy, or things that other people do in their life to make you happy, but what is one thing that you do for yourself that makes you happy, something that you're passionate about."

A hobby is what she was looking for he decided. "I work on my Dad's car when I get a chance. I like doing that."

"What kind of car did he have?"

"It's an old 74 Mercury Marquis, jet-black with matching leather interior. I remember when were kids, Mary and I could stretch out in the backseat on either end."

Emily smiled seeing a light come on in his eyes over just the memory of that. "What do you think about while you're working on the car?"

"Different stuff, whatever I'm trying to repair at the moment.

"Do you think about your dad?"

"Yes."

"You said he sent you away when you were fifteen that must have been difficult."

"I think it really messed up Mary. She was never really the same after that."

"It messed up Mary?" Emily questioned. "What about Steve?"

"I was older."

"Fifteen is older?"

No one had ever asked him that question before, how he felt about being sent away. It was done and that was that. "I managed. I think I over came it pretty well."

"When you think about your Dad while you're working on the car, what kind of things do you think about?"

"I don't know, conversations, fishing trips."

"Do you ever think about why he sent you away?"

"I know why."

"I know you have the reason in your head, but I mean do you ever feel angry that he sent you away?"

"He did what he had to do," he defended.

"You said that it messed up Mary. How so?"

He took in a long deep breath and let it out slowly. "She was a very playful and happy kid before that," he smiled over the memories. "She used to drive me crazy on purpose."

"What changes did you notice in her after you went to California?"

"She clung to me. I don't mean like physically hung on me but she wanted to be where I was all the time. I think she was afraid we'd get separated." He hated how it changed Mary. The transformation was hard to watch he remembered.

"How did that make you feel about your Dad?"

The words came out before he even had a chance to assess it, "Angry. Resentful."

"Did you ever talk to your Dad about that?"

"No. I didn't see him again before I went in the Navy, but he had his reasons for what he did."

"So these conversations you think about while you're working on the car, did you ever actually have any of those conversations with him, or just with yourself?"

She managed to see right through his testimony, calling him out on it. The conversations were made up in his head. They were what he hoped they would have talked about if given the opportunity. "No," he said sadly.

"And the fishing trips?"

He shook his head. "We always talked about going and he promised to take me, but we never did. But I do think about things I wish we had said. I'm not lying."

"I believe you," Emily said wholeheartedly. "I also believe that whether you want to think it or not, that you were hurt just as much as Mary. And I bet you liked having her close too when you were in California, didn't you?"

He didn't answer her directly but nodded, because it was true, that first year was the hardest. He couldn't stand the thought of being separated from her either.

"Where is Mary now?"  
Steve smiled, "I don't know. I don't mean that I don't know because we never talk, I mean that because she moves a lot. One minute she's in California and the next she could be in New York, or Utah or Texas," he chuckled. "She's what you call a free-spirit."

"Has she ever been in trouble?"

Steve rolled his eyes, "Yes, but nothing really bad. She's never been in jail. Just minor stuff."

"And who does she call when she's in trouble?'

Steve smiled, "Me."

"I thought so, " Emily grinned. "And I bet you go running. As a matter of fact I bet a lot of people turn to you for help. Am I right?"

"Well yea," he agreed, "I'm a police officer."

"I mean the people in your life."

"Yes," he said proudly, "they do. There's nothing wrong with that," he defended. "I like it that they know they can come to me when they're in trouble."

"You're right Steve. You're absolutely right. You should feel proud knowing that. It's a very, very good thing." She leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees. "Let me ask you one question though. Who do you go to when you're in trouble? Who do you ask for help from when you need it?"

He thought of the first person that came to his mind. "Danny."

"Hmmm," Emily sighed, sitting back in her chair looking over at him with a questionable expression. "I don't think you ever actually ask Danny for help. I think Danny sees you struggling and then he jumps in and helps, but I don't think you ever come out and ask for it, do you? I don't think you ever ask anyone for help."

"Why should I if I don't need it?" he defended himself. "I've always been able to handle stuff on my own."

"Like your addiction?"

"I didn't know I had a problem," he said dryly, "that's why I'm here."

"What about when you get out?"

"What about it?"

"You're withdrawals and cravings aren't going to go away anytime soon. I'm sure you think about that high and how it used to feel all the time. There'll be times when you're going to have to ask for help because it will be overwhelming."

Steve sat up straight in the chair. "I just talked myself down from one a little while ago. I was even on the verge of leaving, but I didn't. I talked myself through it and," he motioned to the room, feeling confident over it, "here I am. I feel fine."

"Congratulations. I guess my work here is done."

He sighed his annoyance over that comment, "I'm just saying, I was trained in the Navy to work through problems. I know how to overcome situations that maybe most people can't. I won't cave. I'll be alright by myself."

Emily reached in her pocket and took out a familiar blue pill and set it on the table next to her.

He stared at it, instantly feeling his mouth begin to water and his senses explode over being this close to one. He looked back at her, angry that she would tempt him like this. "What are you doing? Why are you doing this?"

"Do you want it?" she motioned with her head to the pill. "Take it."

He looked in the opposite direction of both, "This is completely unorthodox. I can't believe you would set me up like this!"

"Do you want it?"

"Of course I want it!" he yelled, "Why the fuck do you think I'm here?"

"Then take it."

He looked to see if she were serious, feeling a jolt of excitement over being given permission. He looked over at it again and then at her, his mind reeling over the possibility when it suddenly dawned on him that she was just testing his last testimony.

He crossed his arms stubbornly, glaring at her. "No. I don't want it."

"Good for you," Emily smiled. "That's good, Steve. Really good." She stood up, "You know what. I forgot to use the bathroom before we came in here. I'm going to run to the restroom really quick. Be right back."

Steve watched her walk towards the door and quickly glanced over at the pill sitting on the table that she left behind. He could feel his hands begin to tremble wanting to reach for it, looking over at her as she neared the exit. It was right there. He didn't even need water to get it down; all he had to do was just swallow it. She was almost to the door when he began to panic not wanting to be alone with it.

"Wait!" he said, "Don't go!" He got up and backed away from the table as if it held some kind of toxic airborne substance that might hurt him. "Take it with you." He saw that she had the door open when he began to plead with her. "Please Emily, take it with you."

Emily turned around and walked back over to the table and picked it up, putting it back in her pocket. She went back over to the door. "It's not so easy surviving on your own is it? See what asking for help can resolve? There's no need to feel that you have to do this alone. You're not alone, Steve, not here and not out there. The sooner you rely on others for your recovery both here and at home, the better the chances are you won't ever be back."

She opened the door. "End of session today. You're free to do whatever you want." She was releasing him from the room but she also knew the session didn't end there. They had covered a lot in the few minutes they were together. She was more than pleased at the outcome and also knowing that even though he had consent to do as he pleased, the therapy would continue as he contemplated what went on.

He watched her walk out and leave the door open behind her. He leaned back against the wall he had run into trying to get away from the temptation, partly angry that she'd proved him wrong and partly amused over her risky tactics. She was good at calling his bluff. He grinned over her arrogant behavior. "I don't like her," he mumbled jokingly, looking back over in the place she'd been standing. It had only been his first session and she had already brought up issues he'd never had to deal with before, not knowing it was going to happen so fast or so abruptly.

His eyes scanned the room having a premonition that this was nothing compared to what lay ahead. The slight grin slowly disappeared from his face as he thought of the one subject that he was most frightened of. He knew Emily would call him on it and there was no way of getting around it. Jenny's name was going to be brought up, which would lead to the others.

He looked at the place where the pill had been sitting; wishing he had it now because just thinking about her triggered the one thing in his brain that brought on the craving…it was pain. He missed she and Eric, and mostly Anna. The more coherent he became back into his life the more he missed all of them. He promised Jenny he'd be back and he would be. She was his inspiration to walk up the steps into this place. He focused on the image of her that had stolen his heart that first day she knocked on his door, looking up at him so sweet and innocent. She claimed them as friends from the beginning and she never once faltered in that duty. She still loved him regardless.

He was shocked at the peaceful feeling that overcame him. It was more powerful than the drug that was trying to lure him into temptation.

Emily was right, he thought amusingly, he did need others for help, not realizing just how much until that sweet little girl rescued him once again from his despair.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Author: I'm so sorry for the late post. I have family in town, and you all know what that means. No free time! **__** As always, thanks for reading!**_

* * *

The realtor slid the papers across his desk to Anna.

"Just sign here and we'll get you on the MLS today. Someone will be by the house this afternoon to put a sign up in your yard. I don't anticipate it taking very long to sell."

Anna pulled the papers over in front of her. She glanced over at two very different expressions on the kids who sat in chairs against the wall. Eric had a smug grin on his face, all for the move, while Jenny glared at her angrily with her arms crossed.

She looked back over at the realtor who just smiled, glad for the business. He had no idea why they were selling and moving back to the mainland, and didn't ask. It was going to be easy money. The place would sell quickly with little effort on his part.

Anna scribbled her name on the paper, telling herself again she was doing the right thing. She couldn't live next to Steve once he came back, it would just be too hard.

The realtor took the papers back and tapped them gently on the desk getting them in a neat order. "That's it. I'll be in touch. It shouldn't be long."

"Thank you, Adam" Anna replied standing up as he did the same. She reached her hand across and shook his hand that was extended.

"Eric," Adam replied, "I can't say that Billy will be happy about this. He was pretty bummed that you missed the camping trip but when he hears you're moving to the mainland…well, we're sad to see you go. We'll have to have a couple of sleepovers before you go."

Anna cringed with the mention of the camping trip, knowing he just added fuel to a smoldering fire. "A sleepover would be great," she quickly replied hoping to divert the subject.

"I was supposed to go on that camping trip," Eric replied bitterly, "but this stupid guy ditched me."

"Shut up!" Jenny blasted him. "He's not stupid!"

"Yes he is! You don't even know what happened, so you shut up!"

Anna glared at the two of them. "Stop it."

"He's saying mean stuff about Steve," Jenny blurted out.

"True stuff," Eric replied.

"Shut up!" Jenny yelled.

"You shut…"

"I said that's enough!" she growled, letting them both know by the look and tone of her voice, that she meant it.

Both of them crossed their arms stubbornly.

Anna looked back over at Adam sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." He was beginning to understand the move was because of a break up, knowing the situation of the kids and that Anna was their Aunt not their mom.

She picked up her purse, "Let's go," she glared at the two of them, trying to quickly shuffle them out of the office before another incident.

The ride home wasn't any better.

Eric sat in the backseat behind Anna with Jenny in the seat next to him.

She looked in the rearview mirror at both of them. "What do you want for dinner?"

Jenny didn't reply but stared angrily out the window, not wanting to talk to either of them. She didn't understand why they wanted to move away from Steve. Even though he and Anna weren't getting married anymore he was still her friend. The thought of leaving him saddened and scared her. She knew why she was going to miss him, but was too young to realize that he'd become more than a friend to her in her father's absence, he was his substitute.

"I want pizza," Eric said.

"What about you Jenny?" Anna asked, looking over her shoulder at her.

She didn't reply.

"I don't know why you're so mad," Eric said to her, "California has Disneyland. We can go all the time."

Anna felt that all familiar pain in her chest over that remark, recalling a happier time with Steve when he suggested they go to Disneyland for Christmas that year.

"I don't want to go to stupid Disneyland," Jenny replied. "I want to live here!" She sat up in her seat, trying to see Anna's eyes in the rearview mirror, attempting to change her mind once again. "Steve will be so sad if he comes home from his trip and we are gone."

"No he won't," Eric said, "he'll be happy."

"He will not!" she shouted. "You don't know anything. He promised me we could see each other again. He told me so."

Eric started to laugh. "You're so stupid. He promised me stuff too. He's a big fat liar! He was probably lying to you just like he lied to me."

"He wasn't lying!" Jenny yelled, feeling her temper igniting over her frustration of the move and her need to defend him. "He never lies!"

Eric laughed again. "He lied all the time, didn't he Anna?"

"Stop it Eric," she said to him.

"Its true." He looked over at Jenny again. "He didn't go away," he confessed to her. "They took him away because he was a liar and took drugs!"

"Eric!" Anna yelled, "I said that's enough!"

"It's true and you know it! He tried to hurt you." He looked at his little sister's stunned expression over the things he was saying. The anger he felt over the betrayal from Steve fueled his over exaggerated imagination of what actually happened that day. "He chased her and tried to hit her. He was going to beat her up. He should go to jail!"

"Eric!" Anna yelled but it was too late.

Jenny's anger reached a new level as she undid her seatbelt.

Eric put his hands up to protect himself as the little girl sitting next to him suddenly became this vicious creature that he'd never seen before. Her fists were flying at him, coming from all directions as she screamed the word liar at him over and over.

"Jenny!" Anna yelled, trying to reach in the backseat and grab her as she drove at the same time. She gave up and quickly pulled off onto a side street.

"Get off me!" Eric pushed her away as she fell on the floor in front of her seat. She went to get up when he held her down with his foot, all the while she kicked and reached for him.

Anna opened the back door of the car seeing the fight between them. "Eric, stop!" she yelled, pushing his foot out of the way as she grabbed Jenny at the same time, dragging her out of the car. "Jenny, calm down," she said as the child continued to fight her, trying to get at her brother.

She pulled her towards the back and then held her closely against her body as she began to calm.

"I hate him," she cried. "I hate him!"

"Shhh," Anna consoled her. "It's ok."

"He's a big fat liar!" The tears came next as she looked up at her. "Steve doesn't hurt people. He wouldn't hit you."

Anna shook her head. "No, you're right, he wouldn't. He would never do that."

"Why does he say stuff like that about him?" she sniffed, wiping the back of her hand across her nose.

Anna squatted down in front of her, "He's angry with him is all. Steve made some mistakes and …" she stopped there, not finding it necessary that Jenny see him other than what he was in her eyes. What was the point? "He just made some mistakes is all."

"Where is he? Eric said they took him away. Where did he go? Is he coming back? He promised me we would see each other again."

She had to tell her something, so she got as close to the truth as she could without actually telling her everything. "He's in a special place that helps people when they can't help themselves."

Jenny looked at her as if that made no sense at all. "Where is that?"

"It's kind of like a hospital, but not really. Steve just had some extra problems after the helicopter crash and they are helping him through it is all."

She slightly understood now, knowing how badly he was hurt when the helicopter crashed on him. "Can I go see him like when he was in the hospital before?" she asked hopeful.

"No, honey," Anna shook her head. "Not this time."

She didn't like that answer as the stubborn attitude returned. "I'm not moving! I'm going to stay here and live with him." She said it like it was written in stone, but she also knew it was impossible to leave Eric and Anna. Her bottom lip began to quiver over the frustration and hurt she felt over the last couple of weeks that had been building and building. "Don't make us go Anna," she began to cry, "please." She fell into her and began to sob. "Don't make us go."

She held onto her feeling the guilt that was associated with her pleading. She didn't want to go either, she loved Hawaii, but living there wasn't the answer either. But she did decide that she wouldn't make the move without Jenny getting a chance to see him once more before they left. She couldn't do that to her.

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_Day nine…_

_ Emily keeps rolling over me like a truck. Opened my eyes. I need to lean on people. I guess I'm selfish that way. I miss Anna. I miss Jenny. Eric hates me….I miss Eric. Anna hates me. How did I let that happen? I still love her. She hates me._

He stared at those last three words before closing the journal. They stung reading them just as much as they did writing them, but he felt he had to acknowledge it and face what he'd done to her and that family. They'd already been through so much the past year and now this. How would he ever make it up to them? There were no words that came to mind to justify his actions. "Sorry" meant nothing more than just a cliché; it wouldn't do justice this time, not even close. He was beyond apologies. The only way back in was to get on his knees and beg, or to prove to them that he was worthy. At the moment his ego wasn't above either of them.

He lay down in his bed and rolled over looking out the window at the mountains in the distance; the three-quarter moon shown just enough in the clear sky that he could make out the ridges. He wished he could fall asleep and wake up in Anna's bed with her lying next to him, wishing all of this was just a bad dream.

He closed his eyes, accepting his fate as it stood, putting him where he was. He was there because he'd been weak, picturing the three of them sitting around the kitchen table having dinner and his chair empty. He wondered if they had already forgotten about him and moved on. Anna was beautiful; she could find someone else to replace him with little effort. It broke his heart to think of her with someone else, but he had no reason to sulk over it, he had put her in that position. It hurt even more thinking what he'd done to Jenny and Eric.

He closed his eyes and tried to picture a happier scene when all of them had been together. It was a comforting vision as he silently prayed that he might still have a chance with her. He slowly drifted off being completely of his own sound and mind; it was catch-22 being drug free. He could feel his body healing and getting stronger but at the same time he had to deal with the aftermath of what he had done to everyone in his life. That made him frail from the inside out.

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Steve sat a table by himself in the dining room along with half a dozen others who were there eating breakfast as well. It wasn't necessarily a place you wanted to socialize, most reeling over their restless night in bed or just consumed with their own thoughts of fighting off the cravings that could pounce on you at a moments notice.

Steve was no exception that morning. He stared at the plate of eggs and french toast in front of him, knowing he needed to eat, but had no appetite at the moment. Worse yet, he had a meeting with Emily in less than an hour. He had about ten thousand things on his mind, jumping from one to another and not one of them was a good or positive thought.

He constantly worried about the people in his life and how his actions were affecting them all. Anna and the kids were always on top of that list, but at the moment his thoughts were on Danny. It had been over a week since he'd spoken to him, which he was surprised to realize that they hadn't gone more than a couple of days since they'd met without some sort of communication. He knew he was probably at work by then.

He worried about him. It wasn't that he didn't think Danny couldn't perform the job without him, but he worried because he was Danny's backup. They knew each other's moves and thoughts. If something happened to him while he was in this place, he'd never forgive himself, and even more so, he knew he would never go back to the job he had come to love even more than his days in the Navy.

He pushed his eggs around on the plate and forced down what he could but finally gave up eating. He stood up, taking the half full tray and dumped it in the garbage can. He still had time before he was supposed to meet Emily and made his way back to his room.

He sat on the bed and opened the notebook, reading over the last few entries since Emily had given it to him. They were filled with regret and he could feel the pain all over again when reading them. He was confused over this part of his therapy, because he didn't really feel any better as he read over the words 'hate' and 'regret' and even the word 'love' that was used as a negative dialect. The last three sessions he'd had with Emily were about forgiving other people that had harmed him, particularly his Mom and Dad that he never knew he held such anger towards. It was almost a relief to be able to say it out loud. He didn't feel like he was instantly cured of that anger and resentment, but he was able to forgive them and was glad that he'd dealt with it. The thing that concerned him the most was Mary, wondering if she had the same feelings as he did.

He looked at the words on the paper again and decided that if he could forgive others then why couldn't he forgive himself. The horrible things he wrote and thought constantly about himself weren't helping. He needed to channel his thoughts in a new direction. He needed to stop punishing himself about the things that happened in the past and focus on making them right in the presence so they wouldn't ever happen again in the future. He needed a new strategy to write about besides his negative feelings.

He looked up and out the window of his room, seeing the familiar mountains that were becoming like a focal point for him when he felt overwhelmed or cluttered with thoughts. He stared off at them, clearing his mind of any one thought and let nature take over, asking the Akua's for help. It wasn't the first time in his life he would ask for guidance from them, relying on the Hawaiian spirits that lived in the mountains, in the water and in the air he breathed.

He looked down at the notebook and flipped the pages over until a clean sheet was available, starting fresh. He held the pen in his hand and took a deep breath as he started to write.

_Dear Anna, _he began knowing this was the direction he needed to go. He would write letters to her and express what he needed to. She would never read them but it gave him the outlook he was looking for.

_I'm sorry for all the things I did to you. For all the lies and for all the hurtful words that I said. I'm working through day by day, trying to get back to what I was when you loved me. I'll never be the same in your eyes again, but I'm hoping I'll be a better man when all is said and done. I miss you. I miss you every second of the day. I'll miss you for the rest of my life._

He read it over once more and closed the book, already feeling better about it. "Straight ahead," he said out loud with a deep sigh, "Just keep moving forward."

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"How are you feeling today," Emily asked him.

"Ok," Steve replied.

"How have you been sleeping?"

He sighed, sitting back lazily in the chair. "Not too good. I wake up a lot feeling restless."

"Are you having nightmares," she asked concerned.

"No. Just restless."

"What do you think about when you wake up?"

He shrugged, "People."

"Like who?"

He mostly thought of Anna, but wasn't ready to talk about her just yet, "Danny, for one," he replied.

"Tell me about Danny."

The right side of his mouth curved into a smile. "He's a smart ass."

Emily smiled too over that. "If you had to use one word to describe him, what would it be?"

Steve's smile slowly faded, not even having to contemplate that question. "Friend."

"Is he your best friend?"  
"Yes." He sat up in the chair, "But it really goes beyond that."

"How so."

"He's like my right arm. I trust him with my life."

"That's a very powerful statement."

"It's true," he said proudly. "And I know it goes both ways."

"Are you prepared if that friendship is no longer valid?" Emily blurted out, throwing him a curve ball.

"I don't…" he began to deny that ever happening when he stopped, recalling his words to him the day he dropped him off. It humbled him a great deal to know that he had taken such great advantage of that friendship he was so proud of. It also scared him to death. "If I lose that friendship," he shook his head, not having an answer because it would be too devastating to him. "I worry about him."

"About the friendship?"

"No, about something happening to him and me not being there to back him up." He looked over at her. "That's my job."

"You feel responsible for a lot of people in your life, don't you Steve?"

"Yes," he replied without hesitation. "And I know I've let a lot of them down by being here. Danny for one."

"What would you say to him, if you could?"

That question caught him by surprise. There were so many things he would want to say, but in reality it would never happen. They pretended like they annoyed each other, but deep down inside he knew his life would be turned upside down if some how he lost Danny.

He wiped his hand over his mouth, suddenly feeling a wave of emotions wash over him, coming on without warning. He always knew how he felt about him, but actually physically describing it was something else.

Emily waited patiently, seeing the change overcome him as he struggled in keeping his emotions under tact. He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees with his head down, trying to hide the tears. She didn't force it out of him; sometimes actions spoke louder than words.

She put a hand on his back, holding a tissue down to him. "It's ok Steve. I think I hear you loud and clear."

He took the tissue from her and wiped his eyes with it and then sat up, looking away from her. "I don't like this part."

"What part?" she asked. "The part that makes you cry? Or the part that you find so incredibly difficult to admit to yourself that you need people just as much as they need you."

"Both," he sighed. "I don't want to rely on anyone," he admitted.

That saddened Emily more than just about anything she'd ever heard from him so far. "Why, Steve? Why would you say such a thing?"

"People go away. People die." He couldn't help but think of Anna. "I hurt people and they end up hating me, that's even worse."

"Are you talking about Anna?"

He shot a quick look over at her, "I don't want to talk about her?"

"Why not?"

He came out of the chair, walking away from her. "Because I don't," he replied stubbornly, "and I'm not going to. That's a closed chapter in my life."

"Don't you think she deserves to hear from you?"

She doesn't want anything else from me. She's better off just…" he felt those emotions creeping up on him again. "She hates me and that's it. I've done enough to her and those kids. They don't need to hear some lame excuse about how I fucked up. They witnessed it first hand."

"You made some mistakes. How will she know you…"

"I said enough!" he yelled out, feeling the panic in him rising over having to talk through what he did to her. He glared over at Emily as she sat unfazed over his outburst. He quickly recanted knowing it was uncalled for to use that tone with her. "I'm sorry," his voice pleading "please Emily, don't make me talk about her. Not yet…please."

"Sit down," she ordered.

He did as he was told and sat back down, staring nervously across at her, hoping she'd abide by his wishes, but knowing if she wanted to discuss Anna there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Emily shook her head, feeling more frustrated with him than just about anyone she had ever counseled before. He wore his heart on his sleeve in that room more than anyone she had ever known; yet at the same time she knew he would shield it from the ones he cared most about, afraid to let anyone see it. It angered her that the two of them had made this same break through days before but he just found other excuses to close up again. He was once again the bad guy so he was justified in running away.

"I just feel like you are slipping right back into the same ole' routine of shutting people out. That comment about not wanting to rely on anyone is proof of it. The second you are faced with some kind of emotional turmoil, you shut down. What is it going to take for you to accept that you can't live this way anymore? You walk around and pretend like you have some shield in front of you and hide behind that smile and all your military mumbo jumbo of toughness, but you know what I see. I see a frightened, scared, helpless man sitting before me that can't even talk about the one person in your life that you loved enough to want to marry and now you just set it aside because suddenly you are unworthy. You're alienating people from your life that shouldn't be or that don't have to be."

"You don't understand," Steve pleaded with her. "I wasn't brought up that way. You don't talk about stuff like that."

"Oh bullshit," Emily blurted out, shocking herself over the outburst more than him, but she was fed up with his excuses. "All these people who came to your rescue and you won't even give them the common courtesy of allowing them to know who you are? How selfish is that?"

She stood up and closed her folding chair, abruptly setting it against the wall. "I can't help you anymore if you're not even willing to help yourself."

She walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

He sat frozen to the chair, reeling over her outburst. She made it sound so simple, but it wasn't to him. He didn't know how to say the things he wanted to without sounding foolish. But as he sat there, he also forced himself to recognize that it wasn't just finding the right words to say that scared him the most, it was that they wouldn't be returned. He felt that all to familiar rejection from the two people in his life that he had trusted the most since he was a child, and they were the ones that had let him down the hardest. Neither of his parents had listened when he tried to reach out to them, so why should he make the same mistake with others. It's not that he didn't feel love for all those people; he did tremendously. It was just safer to show it rather than say it.

He felt it was unfair of Emily to say that he was selfish in that way. He took care of the people that he loved. But as he was justifying his actions once again, he happened to look around the room he was in and recall why he was there. Who was he helping at the moment, no one? Yet everyone outside of that room was taking perfectly good care of themselves, without him.

He felt the air leave his body knowing how easily he could be forgotten without physically being there for people. It was his only way of telling them that he loved them, but being absent he had no way to express it. What if he came back and they all realized they didn't need him anymore, that and along with his actions over the past few months might actually separate him from the people that meant the most to him.

He bent over, putting his head between his legs, feeling light headed over the impact of that realization. She was right; he couldn't live the way he was any longer. He needed to break the cycle of his upbringing and allow himself the right to express himself to the ones he loved the most. He needed them. He'd never make it without them.

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Mark came in the office and pointed over his shoulder. "Steve's outside," he said with a slight grin. "He wants to talk to you."

Emily sat back in her chair smiling. "How does he look?"

"Beaten down. Do you have to go at them so hard all the time? Poor guy."

"You do your therapy with inspiration and metaphors and I do mine with tough love." She got up, wiping the smile off her face as she came out of the office before greeting him.

"What can I do for you Steve?"

He swallowed down the dryness in his throat, still seeing the disappointment not only in her tone but also all over her face. "I'm sorry about what happened back there. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"You already apologized for that. Is that why you're here, to apologize again?"

"No." He crossed his arms, glancing away from her down the hall. "You're right. I can't live like…" he could feel the that part of him holding back, trying to fight off the anxiety of having to deal with it head on. He pushed through and looked back over at her, "I'm not strong in the way that you talk about, but I'm willing to try. I want to."

"Do you mean that?"

He nodded, "Yes," he replied wholeheartedly.

"Then prove it. Follow me." She walked past him down the hallway.

He stood watching her for a second before he began to follow after her, not having a clue what she meant by 'proving it', assuming they were going back to the session room when she stopped in front a door that had no label on it.

She pulled out her keys and unlocked it, opening it up and going in first, turning the light on.

It was a small six by six room that held only a chair, a table and a telephone.

Emily pulled the chair out and motioned for him to sit down. "Make some calls to those people who you feel you have been holding back from."

He stood staring at the phone feeling his heart accelerate. It wasn't so much the fear of having to let go his feelings as it was that they may not be received. "What if they hang up on me?" he asked fearfully.

"That's a possibility. You have to prepare yourself for some who may not want to hear from you." She put her hand on his back, guiding him toward the chair. "But the ones that do listen will be grateful. Wouldn't you be to hear it from them?"

She made it sound so elementary when she put it that way. "What do I say?"

"They're your friends Steve. You told me in our very first session that you had two families. It doesn't have to be a sappy Hallmark card, just put yourself out there and tell them the truth." She went to the door but reached in her pocket first, pulling out a small package of tissues and tossed them on the table. "Just incase," she smiled. "You have as much time as you need, so don't rush. Come and find me when you're done." She walked out, leaving him alone.

He stared at the phone for what seemed like hours but was only minutes, trying to dissolve the fear of what he was about to do. He felt the craving of a pill coming on knowing from past experience that when he began to get in over his head emotionally, those were a great stress relief. He was beyond that now and fought the craving by diving in headfirst. He picked up the phone and dialed the first number.

Danny reached over on his desk and picked up his ringing cell, not recognizing the number.

"Detective Williams," he answered with it tucked between his shoulder and neck as he typed the final words in the report on his laptop.

Just hearing Danny's voice was a comforting relief that he wasn't prepared for. He missed him more than he thought he did.

When no one replied right away he asked again, "Hello? Detective Williams."

"Hey Danny…it's me."

He sat up, grabbing the phone off his shoulder and holding it up to his ear. "Steve!" he replied, surprised over the call that came out of the blue, but it was good to hear his voice. "Hey, how you doing?"

"Ok, getting along I guess."

He sounded different. He didn't want to use the word frail, but it was what came to mind. It was clear to him that he must be going through the ringer, having heard that fighting an addiction was just living day by day, hour by hour the best you could.

"You sound good," Danny said to him and then rolled his eyes after saying it, knowing it wasn't true and knowing Steve probably knew it wasn't true too, but he wasn't sure exactly what to say, not wanting to say the wrong thing, but he felt he had anyway.

There was an awkward silence on the phone. Steve could feel the separation between them happening, never before having the difficulty of conversing with Danny. That feeling of estrangement was his greatest motivation to fulfill what he set out to do. He decided to just go for it, not knowing if he had done irreversible damage to their friendship, but was ready to do whatever necessary to fix it.

"It's been a rough couple of weeks," Steve said to him.

"I heard the first few days are a bitch," Danny said.

"Pretty much," he said recalling detox. "I've spent a lot of time thinking, its about all I have to do in here is think."

Danny didn't reply, not sure if he was supposed to or what to say. The person on the other end he wasn't used to dealing with.

The silence between them again was long and Steve knew it was he that had to break it. "I want to tell you that I'm sorry Danny and…"

"It's ok Steve," he said, letting him off the hook, knowing now that this was a call of repenting.

He wasn't going to let Danny sugar coat this for him like he always did. "No it's not, I just have to…"

"Really, Steve its ok."

"Will you just shut up for one second," he barked out, losing his patience, trying his hardest to get it out but being sidelined by Danny trying to make it easy on him. "Jesus, sometimes Daniel…just let me get this out, ok?"

"All right, all right," Danny smiled, hearing the real Steve for the first time in a long time.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry for all the things I did and especially the things I said to you. I know I damaged my relationship with Anna probably beyond repair," he felt that all too familiar regret in his chest over that, "but you," he said with a sigh. "If I went too far and damaged our friendship then I understand and I accept whatever you have to say when I'm done. But you have to know that I regret all of it. You're like my brother Danny. I'm sorry. I really am."

Danny paused for a second, wanting to see if he was done before he responded. "Thanks for saying that." He knew more than anything he needed to validate his apology. "As far as I'm concerned Steve, its behind us. I didn't take you there and drop you off because I wanted to get rid of you. I did it because I wanted my partner back."

He let those words sink in feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"That was really nice by the way," Danny teased him, wanting to lighten the moment. "Did you practice that speech?"

Steve smiled into the phone, "No. Did I sound sincere?"

"Very. If I was standing there I probably would have kissed you."

Steve laughed over that. It felt good, not remembering the last time that he had. "Control yourself. I might be going through some life changes, but not that much. I still prefer the opposite sex."

It was Danny's turn to laugh. He'd been worried about him being in that place, but was feeling less of that after this call. "Have you called anyone else besides me?"

"No. You're the first."

"Is Anna on the list?"

Steve let out a long deep sigh, "No."

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't want to hear from me Danny. The things I said to her. The things I did… its over."

"People forgive you know."

"Not always." He was beginning to wonder why he was so persistent. "Have you talked to her?" He hoped maybe she was expecting a call.

"No, actually I was going to go by your house tomorrow to check on things. I could stop in and see her if you want?"

He wanted to say yes, but thought better to just let her be. "No," he said sadly, "just let it go."

"It's up to you. I know it's your decision, but I think you should call her."

"And say what?"

"What you just said to me was pretty good, but you could just sweeten it up a bit."

"Maybe," he said, trying to appease him, but still didn't think he had the right to.

"Ok, I know that means no, so I'll just drop it."

'Thank you."

"I'll be up in a few days to see ya," Danny said. "Do you want me to bring you anything?"

Steve smiled, "A Puka Dog. I'm dying for one."

"I'll bring you two," Danny chuckled.

"Ok." He couldn't believe the stress relief that this call had created, not feeling as nervous about making the next two. "I'm going to let you go. I've got some other calls to make."

"Ok, sounds good." Before he hung up, Danny solidified what Steve had been trying to say. "Hey, you know I got your back right?"

"Yes," he replied gratefully.

"I mean it Steve. Don't ever think you're alone out there. You got me, Gracie Chin, Kono, we love ya and we'd do whatever necessary to protect you." He smiled, throwing in a joke, "I'm going to say it so don't laugh, but were Ohana all the way."

It didn't feel awkward and he didn't feel foolish. It was just that easy he thought, and it did feel good. "Thanks Danny. I love you guys too brother. Give Gracie a hug for me and be careful. I worry about you at work when I'm not there."

Danny smiled, never before hearing anything remotely close to him expressing himself in that way. "Don't worry about me. You just work on getting back here. You're needed. The paperwork sucks."

Steve laughed, "Will do. I'll see you soon."

They both hung up, feeling the same good feeling over the call. Danny was relived that he was doing as well as he had hoped and Steve was not only surprised over the easiness of the call but that the mistakes he'd made didn't change anything between them. His family was still there for him.

He picked the phone back up and dialed in Chin's number next, feeling good about it.

Danny watched from across his office into Chin's as he answered his ringing cell phone and then smiled brightly, knowing it was Steve on the other end. He was pleased over the call between them, but wished he'd give Anna one too.

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Steve hung up after speaking with Kono last, wishing he had Mary's number but it was in his cell and he hadn't seen it since the day he'd arrived. He felt he was on a roll, feeling this newfound freedom of being able to express himself in a way that wasn't as hard as he always thought it would be. Emily was right; it didn't have to come across as a Hallmark card, he just needed to let the people in his life know that he validated them and that he was proud to be their friend and along the way he learned he was just as important. Hearing all three of them tell him he was loved in one way or another was uplifting. It gave him the strength he was looking for to move forward with his treatment. For the first time he really felt he was going to make it.

He stared at the phone, feeling that strength and reinforcement and decided to push his luck and make one more call.

He dialed her number, not feeling any anxiety…until she answered.

Anna ran from the laundry room into the family room to answer the landline, which seldom rang, wondering if it was Adam with another client that wanted to see the house, or maybe an offer had come through from the people that had come by the day before to see it. She wasn't sure how she felt about that just yet.

"Hello?" she said.

Steve sat frozen just over the sound of her voice. It brought up so many emotions he couldn't even think straight. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped, not having the same confidence as he did before she answered. He was afraid she'd shut him down.

"Hello?" Anna repeated.

He couldn't do it and hung up. He blasted himself for even attempting it, but he also couldn't deny how just hearing her voice pleased him. God he missed her. He reeled over the sound of that sweet voice, being reminded of it in the dark as he lay in bed with her at night and talked. Sometimes they would stay awake for hours and just talk. Maybe Danny was right; maybe she'd forgive him.

He picked the phone back up and dialed her number again.

Anna slammed the lid closed on the washer and growled, hearing the phone ring again. She came down the hallway mumbling to herself, reaching for it on the fourth ring.

"Hello?!" she replied irritably.

Steve heard the tone of her voice and instantly lost his nerve once again. The timing wasn't right, but as before just hearing her voice, no matter the tone made his heart sore. He waited for it again before hanging up.

"Hello!" she said again, waiting a few more seconds but heard no reply. "Kiss off!" she said angrily and slammed the phone down.

He sat back in the chair feeling both elated and disheartened. He could just picture the feisty expression on her face, smiling over it because he knew no matter what expression she used she was still drop dead gorgeous. He thought about the guy that had broke in to her house, convinced that she was Alyssa. He worried about her and the kids being in the house alone. Even if she weren't in his life anymore, he knew once he was home again, he'd do whatever it took to keep them safe.

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Danny pulled into Steve's driveway, glancing over at Anna's house, shocked over the for sale sign in her yard. He sat in the driveway with his car still running, staring over at it, wondering how in the hell Steve was going to react to this and whether or not he should tell him when he saw him or wait until he got home. He felt he had enough stress in his life as it was.

He saw Anna's car in the driveway, knowing she was home. He contemplated going over and seeing her, but abided by Steve's wishes in the end, deciding that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. If she had made that big of a decision then maybe he was better off just letting it go like he wanted.

But he still couldn't get over the fact that it disappointed him. He'd never seen Steve happier since he'd known him than he was once Anna and the kids entered his life.

He let himself in the house with his spare key and right away smelled the closed off stuffy scent from being shut up for so long. He left the front door open and went straight to the back and opened that door as well, letting a breeze in off the ocean flow through and air it out.

He went to the dishwasher next and started unloading the dishes that he'd put in and ran the day he and Anna had been there to pick up his things. He knew that day there was a problem because Steve's house was in disarray and Steve's house was never in disarray.

He went in the garage next and shuffled through his tools looking for something to take off the damaged kitchen cupboard doors with, wanting to get them fixed before he got back. As he came back in the house, Anna was standing at the front door.

"Hi," she said to him, not feeling she was invited to cross the threshold of the home she had considered her second at one time.

"Hey there," Danny replied. "Come on in."

"I saw you pull up." Her expression concerned, "Is everything ok?" She held her breath, anticipating his answer, feeling that wave of fear and panic hit as she watched him get out the car alone, wondering at first if Steve was home early until she saw just Danny get out the car. She couldn't imagine Steve doing what her father had done, but she never expected it from him either.

"Yes, everything's fine." Danny assured her. "I'm just checking on the house for Steve." He couldn't help but feel pleased over her worry of him. "Steve's doing ok. I just talked to him yesterday."

"Oh," Anna said, feeling relieved but a little surprised that he had talked to him. "I'm glad to hear that. Did you go and see him?" she knew there was a visiting day, but she had declined when Emily asked if she wanted to come. She just didn't feel he would want her there and really had no idea what she would say to him anyhow.

"I didn't see him, but he called me," Danny corrected her but then felt he shouldn't have said anything over the disappointed look on her face that she was obviously trying to hide.

"Oh, you talked to him? He called you?" she asked, knowing Danny wouldn't be able to contact him.

"Yes. It was a short call," he replied trying to make it sound like it was nothing, feeling bad for her now.

She felt her heat sink to her stomach as her throat closed up, knowing that if he still cared about her, he would have called. She felt the tears forming, wanting to make a quick getaway before Danny could see them. "That's good. Ok then, I have to go. I just wanted to make sure everything was ok. I'll see you Danny."

"Ok," he sighed, walking toward the door, wishing now he would have asked about the for sale sign, but it was clear to him that she was upset Steve hadn't called her. It was obvious she still had feelings for him and he knew Steve did for her. Just watching and listening to the two of them was depressing the hell out of him.

Anna crossed the yard wiping her fingers under her eyes, catching the tears before they had a chance to fall. She was angry with him for letting her go so easily when after all she was doing was trying to help him. She wasn't even worthy of a call. "To hell with him," she mumbled. Glad now she was selling the house. Hoping a call came soon from a buyer, recalling the two calls the previous day that she had hoped was from her agent, but just ended up being a crank call.

She stopped in her tracks just before reaching the end of the yard, re-thinking those two calls. She wondered if maybe that was Steve calling her? At first she felt elated over the possibility, but then it made her angry that again he wouldn't even speak to her. What kind of game was he playing with her?

She continued on to her house, stomping across the yard, wishing now she wouldn't even have gone over to his house. She was better off not knowing any of it. If that was him and this is the way he was going to play the game, then let him. She wasn't going to stoop that low and join him in it.

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Steve sat on the edge of the work out bench and wiped a towel over his face. He'd worked up a good sweat lifting weights, not having catered to his body in this way in a long time. It felt good, feeling as if he were getting out all the toxins in his system that had been creating havoc. He'd already gained six pounds over the past two weeks, eating three good, nutritious, but high calorie meals a day and snacking on whatever was available in the kitchen between meals, looking forward to the Puka Dog Danny promised to bring him, hoping he remembered.

He walked over to the treadmill and set the computer to a steep run that resembled a mountain hike with several inclines that he knew would get his heart rate pumping.

He began the slight jog that worked up into a full sprint as the treadmill track tilted upward. He pictured himself running up Koko head trail, the other dormant volcano on the southeast side of the island that used to be an old Army lookout point. What was left were old wooden train trestles that were used as a track to get up the steep incline to the top. He took Anna up there once, surprised at the athlete in her. She never faltered and kept up with him step for step.

He remembered the best part of that day though, sitting up on the cement slab at the top next to her for a long time as they cooled down, admiring the view. He pointed out places he would take her next, snorkeling at Hanauma Bay and a kayak out to Rabbit Island. Neither of which they had accomplished. He promised her a lot of things he hadn't fulfilled, love, security, commitment, and marriage.

He had failed her, but what was worse is that he had failed the kids. They were counting on him to be there as a replacement for their father. He felt like he had set them up, mostly Jenny, showing her this fantasy utopia that she had fallen right into and then with one foolish mistake he pulled the rug out from beneath her. He felt she was being punished more than the rest because she couldn't understand what had happened. He was there one day and gone the next.

He reached up on the treadmill computer and shut it off, midway through his workout. He held onto the arm rails with his head bent, trying to catch his breath after the intense workout, but mainly feeling the hurt again over what he had done to that little girl, to all of them.

He wanted back in their lives. He wanted it so bad he could hardly stand it, not sure how he was going to function once he was back home without them. He'd been telling himself Anna didn't deserve any more heartbreak over him, but what made him think he would ever hurt her again? He wouldn't. He'd work everyday to make her life happy and to give her what he had originally promised. He had been wrong this whole time of sitting back and letting her go, he needed to fight for her. If he truly loved her then he needed to fight for her. He'd never backed down from a battle in his life and this was by far going to be the most intense one, he thought almost amusingly, but he wasn't going to retreat.

He walked over to the table and grabbed the towel wiping his face off as he went for the door, hoping Emily hadn't left for the day. He needed to make that call to Anna and begin the fight of winning her back.

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Emily opened the door to the room with the phone and let him enter. "Good luck," she smiled, knowing how the calls to Anna had gone a couple of days before. They had discussed his phone conversations in their last session and she was proud of him for the ones he had made. She didn't push him on the Anna subject again, knowing it was one that she would have to gradually work up too. Pleased that he was going to make that call again. He was finally opening up the door that she had been pounding on for the last two weeks. "Take your time," Emily said.

"Ok," he replied feeling good about his decision. "I don't know what I'm going to say."

"It'll come to you."

He nodded as she left the room, leaving him alone. If he didn't do it, he knew he would regret it for the rest of his life. He took in a deep breath and let it out slow, picking up the phone, feeling confident that it was going to go well.

Jenny and Eric sat on the couch watching TV when the phone on the table next to them rang.

Jenny reached over, being the closest and answered it.

"Hello?" she said.

Steve jaw dropped as he felt his heart skip a beat as a thousand different emotions suddenly engulfed him. He wasn't prepared for Jenny to answer the phone, assuming that it would be Anna. It caught him completely off guard hearing that sweet angelic voice that had melted his heart so many times before. He couldn't find a word to say to her that would explain his absence not knowing what Anna had told her.

"Hello?" she said again as he felt tears stinging his eyes, wanting more than anything to tell her he missed her, but like before the fear in him rose up that she perhaps didn't feel the same about him any longer. As of that second he was still her hero, but if he spoke to her and she replied with anything other than excitement then he knew he lost the only pure thing in his life, Jenny's love.

Anna came in the room after hearing the phone ring and looked over at Jenny who had it up to her ear.

"Who is it?" Anna asked.

Jenny shrugged. "I don't know. There's no one there."

Anna walked over with a scowl on her face and took the phone from her. "Hello?!" she said angrily, getting fed up with these crank calls.

Steve closed his eyes, feeling his stomach tighten up, not able to breathe let alone speak a word to her.

Anna turned away from Jenny and Eric and cupped the phone with her hand, "Steve," she said with gritted teeth, "if this is you, then just say something or quit calling here."

He felt as if the blood had drained from his body over her discovery of his secret identity. He knew it was now or never and said the first thing that came to mind, his voice barely able to get the words out.

"Don't give up on me Anna, please."

He felt that was all there was to say and with a heavy heart he hung up the phone, it was up to her from that moment on, praying that she'd give him a second chance.


	27. Chapter 27

"Who was that?" Jenny asked her as Anna held the phone in her hand just staring at it. She wasn't so stunned over the sound of hearing Steve's voice as she was over the words that he'd spoken to her.

"Anna?" Jenny asked again, "Who was it?"

She looked down at her and then over at Eric who was staring back at her with the same confused expression. "It was…it was a wrong number."

She set the phone down and walked out of the room, stopping down the hallway once out of sight and leaned back against the wall, still reeling over what had just happened. Was he just asking for her forgiveness? Is that what she heard? Or was he asking for more?

She tried to recall the words in her head but her heart was pounding so hard she could hardly breathe. Hearing his voice again left her knees feeling weak, just like it had so many times before. There was no doubt in her mind after that call that she still had feelings for him, because they were skyrocketing out of control at the moment.

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It was done. He should have felt relieved that he had finally got through the one call that he should have made first, but as he sat there in the room alone he didn't feel the satisfaction that he was sure he would have, on the contrary, he felt more alone than he ever had.

It was out of his hands now. All he could do from this moment on was to hope and pray that Anna would do as he asked, and not give up on him. He didn't wait for her reply on the phone, not wanting to put her on the spot and have her say something she might later regret rather it be a yes or a no. He wanted her to be able to think about it. He prepared himself for it to go in a negative direction, but either way, no more lies and no more counterfeit feelings to hide behind. If he were blessed enough for her to accept his plea and they were going to start over once again, then it was going to be all or nothing from him.

He pushed himself up from the table feeling that heavy weight on his shoulders return. He couldn't stop thinking about what must be going through Anna's mind at that very second. He had a feeling this night was going to be longer than his first one in detox.

He came out the door and saw Emily leaning against the wall waiting for him.

She couldn't get a read on whether it had gone good or bad, but he did look painfully exhausted.

He never thought he'd be so glad to see her. Her presence was like a safety net that could catch him at his darkest moments, like now. He could trust her, knowing she'd lead him out of it. He ran his hands over his face as everything came flooding to the surface, trying to retain his composure as he looked over at her.

His voice barely audible as he spoke, "I think I'm ready to talk about Anna now."

He barely got the words out as he bent his head, trying to hide the evidence that was engulfing him.

Emily went to him, putting a hand on his back, gently stroking it in a motherly way. "Ok honey. Let's go outside. I know the perfect place."

The sun was just about to set behind them over the perfectly blue Pacific Ocean. It was going to be one of those spectacular Hawaiian displays, but Steve sat with his back to it on the bench facing the mountains. Emily took the seat next to him, handing him another tissue as he tossed the other one in the trashcan next to the bench. He almost laughed at the idea of it being put there for that reason.

She began by not asking about the call but from the beginning like she did with all of them. "Tell me about Anna."

He shook his head, not knowing where to begin. He glanced over at her and smiled. "Did I tell you that when I first met her, I couldn't stand her?" he laughed softly. "I mean I seriously detested her." He recalled the transition that quickly took over after that first night they spent together. The smile faded as he confessed the next line. "And then before long I knew I didn't want to live without her." He sat back and focused on the mountains and literally began from the start. "She woke me up at seven in the morning trying to back up this damn moving truck up."

Emily watched him for a long time and listened with amusement as he broke down the highlights of the relationship he had with Anna, Jenny and Eric. She laughed at most of it as he told of their first date and almost getting caught by the kids the next morning as he climbed out the window. Or the dreadful fear he had when the man had a knife at her throat. He confessed that he knew at that second that he loved her, because he would have taken that knife in the chest trying to get it away from her throat if he had to.

She watched closely his facial expressions as he confessed their final act together and how he had lied to her and to the kids. She could see the remorse clear as day as he described the day of the camping trip and how he lost control, looking back now he couldn't believe that was actually him doing and saying those things to she and Eric.

"Eric's a good kid," he said. "A really good kid, and I just made his life so much more difficult."

"He's ten," Emily reminded him, "he's very impressionable and you were probably larger than life to him. It's hard for kids to see adults that they admire as having faults. You might find it a little more difficult to work your way back into his good graces. He sounds like he can be very stubborn."

Steve rolled his eyes and almost laughed over that. "He is! He likes things a certain way and if it starts to drift in a direction that is unfamiliar to him, then he runs or he hides," he said, recalling the tree incident. "But he has a big heart too. He's very protective of Jenny and Anna."

"He's just like you," Emily smiled. "By what you tell me you two could be father and son."

Steve smiled over that. It was true, he just never thought of it before. Eric was just like him. "I hadn't said anything to Anna about this, but after we got married I was going to talk to her about adopting them. I don't think it would be fair to their father for them to take my name, but I just wanted them to know that they had someone they could count on for the rest of their lives in that way."

Emily shook her head at him, amazed over that statement. "Do ever listen to yourself and give yourself credit for the person you are?"

Steve looked over at her confused. "What?"

"You're a good man Steve. I think you need to cut yourself a break once in a while."

He shrugged, "I hope Anna can be as forgiving of me."

"Do you want to talk about the phone call?"

"There wasn't much to it. I wanted to talk to her but I got sidelined." He glanced over at her. "Jenny answered the phone. I didn't know what to say to her."

He closed his eyes, hearing her sweet little voice and then the fear that overcame him. "What if she feels the same way about me as Anna and Eric? I think that would kill me."

"Do you think Anna would tell her bad things about you?"

He huffed, recalling the women in his life. "You never know what a woman will do when she's angry."

Emily raised an eyebrow, "That's very stereotypical and male chauvinist of you. This woman you are describing, this is the woman you wanted to marry?"

He knew that statement was uncalled for. He couldn't see Anna doing anything like that, knowing how close he and Jenny were. Not so much for his sake, but for Jenny's. "You're right. That was uncalled for." He looked over at her guiltily, "No, I don't think she'd do that."

Emily knew first hand she wouldn't; it was one of the things that Anna had been most concerned with when they had spoken. She didn't know how she was going to deal with Jenny in Steve's absence. "No, I don't think she would either. So you didn't get to speak with Anna then on the phone?"

Steve's expression showed his disappointment over that. "No, not really. I couldn't bring myself to say anything and then some how, she knew it was me. She told me to say something or stop calling, so I said something."

"What did you say?"

"I asked her to not give up on me, and then I hung up." His shoulders slouched as he began to dwell again on what she was thinking at that moment. "It could go either way now."

"Yes, it could," Emily agreed, not sugar coating it for him. "Most marriages fail after drug rehab. You and Anna weren't even married, which could make your chances even slimmer."

He felt the reality of that in the pit of his stomach. "I wouldn't blame her. Her father was a drug addict and committed suicide." He shook his head, loathing himself. "I knew that, and I still did what I did!" He felt the certainty of a break up was going to be unavoidable. "How can she ever trust me again?"

"Do you think you're trustworthy?"

"Yes!" he replied without hesitation. "I'll never lie to her again, ever, about anything."

Emily had heard that line from her patients so many times before, but Steve was the first one she actually believed. "You know what," she said, patting his knee, "I think you are on the right track both mentally and emotionally. No matter what happens with Anna, I think by the time you and I are done here, you'll be prepared to handle whatever decision she makes."

He nodded, feeling it too. "I think if she does give me a second chance, I'll be a better man for it too." He put his hand over top of Emily's. "I think I lucked out getting you as my counselor. I can't even imagine making it through these past couple of weeks with anyone else."

She'd also heard that line many, many times over, but like before, coming from Steve she really took it to heart. He had fast become one of her favorite to date, hoping for him that Anna would make the right decision.

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Anna scanned the papers sitting in front of her. All she had to do was sign her name and the deal would be done. The house would be sold and she could move back to California, leaving behind her all the turmoil of the past year.

Adam sat next to her on the couch and went over what everything meant but she was a million miles away. Well, actually she was only two feet away. Her eyes staring at the phone where she had heard Steve's plea less than twenty-four hours before.

She could still hear his voice that was asking her to not give up on him. He sounded tired and not at all like the strong, resilient man she knew, knowing he must be going through hell in that place. It broke her heart as she pictured him all alone with nothing but his thoughts as he came to the realization of his actions over the past few months.

She knew the real Steve. She recognized him even in that quiet voice, knowing that he was punishing himself probably more than he deserved. She wasn't sure if things could ever go back to the way they were, or if she would ever see the man in him that she had once been in love with, but she couldn't bring herself to runaway after that phone call. She didn't know how much she needed that validation from him until she got it. If he was willing to put himself out there as he did, then she felt he deserved a chance.

"Anna?" Adam said as he held the pen out to her. "Could you please sign?" he asked again. "As I said, you have twenty eight days to vacate, which is a good deal of…"

"No," Anna whispered.

"What was that?" Adam asked, not hearing her fully.

She looked over at him. "I don't want to sell."

His eyebrows shot up, "Excuse me?"

She looked him right in the eye. "Some circumstances have come up that have compelled me to change my mind. I'm sorry for all the hard work you've put into this Adam, but I don't want to sell, not now."

He sat back and let out a disappointing sigh. "You're sure? This is full price, exactly what you were asking for."

Anna nodded, "Yes, I'm sure. I'm so sorry."

"Is it something I did, or didn't do? Did you expect more money?"

"No, no," Anna assured him. "It's just as I said. Something has come up and I've decided to stay here for little while longer. Again, I'm sorry."

"That's ok," he lied. It wasn't the first time a client had changed their mind about selling, just not one at the last hour as this. He gathered up the papers, "I understand. I'll let the buyers know you've had a change of heart."

His choice of words was more close to the truth than he knew.

"If you ever do decide to sell I certainly hope you keep me in mind, and give my name to your friends as well."

"Absolutely," Anna replied firmly as she stood up, walking him to the door.

They shook hands and he had to ask one more time if she were sure before he broke the news to the buyers?

Anna assured him she was. She closed the door behind him and bent her head, "I certainly hope you know what you're doing?" she said to herself, knowing very well she could be setting herself up for another heartbreak. But she also knew if she ran away after that call that it would be something she would regret for the rest of her life. If there were even the slightest chance of getting back to that place she was with Steve before the helicopter accident, then it was defiantly worth the risk.

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Emily knocked on Steve's door and heard the ok for her to enter. She stuck her head in and smiled, pleased to see him sitting at the small desk writing in his journal. "You do know you have an entourage outside waiting for you?"

He smiled back at her over his shoulder, "I'm coming right now." He closed the journal and stood up taking in a deep breath. "Who's all here? Do you know?"

Emily shook her head. "They sign in at the front desk, but the max is four guests. We don't want you to be overwhelmed on your first quest to the outside so we limit it, but you have the max of four."

Steve's heart skipped a beat, assuming it was just going to be Danny, Chin and Kono, but wondered now if the fourth was Anna. He stood in the middle of the room and couldn't get himself to move.

Emily went up to him, knowing exactly what he was thinking. She took his arm with both of her hands and began walking him toward the door. "It's going to be fine. Whoever came to see you wants to do so today, so let's go."

He came out the back doors and saw right away in the distance Kono's head above the rest as they stood over by some trees past the bench that he and Emily had sat on. She left him behind at the door, giving him a gentle nudge as she did.

He kept walking scanning the area where they were but had yet to see Anna, but he did see Chin next and then Danny as they all saw him. Kono led the pack with a bright smile as she came toward him. Once she was within reach her arms opened and she wrapped them around his shoulders, hugging him.

"Hey Boss."

"Thanks for coming Kono," he said giving her a squeeze.

"Wouldn't miss it."

She backed away as Chin came up next, holding his hand up for a bro-shake as the two men clasped and then pulled each other in for a hug too.

"You look good brother," Chin said, slapping his back with his free hand. "Really good."

"Thanks buddy." He smiled at him as he backed away and then glanced over at Danny, holding his arms open. "Come on Danny, you know you want one too." He smiled, but couldn't resist scanning the area over Danny's shoulder searching out that fourth person.

Danny saw the look as he gave him a hug, knowing exactly who he was looking for. "She's not here, Steve," he said quietly to him, hating having to break that news to him.

Steve felt his heart sink over that but knew it was a long shot anyway. "I figured." They released the hug and he pretended like it didn't bother him as much as it did, "I'm glad you guys came. It means a lot to me."

They all smiled at each other as Danny spoke up. "We did have this one person tagging along." Danny pointed over his shoulder.

Steve turned around and was beyond shocked when he saw her. A swell of emotions instantly washed over him becoming blindsided by the highly unexpected but greatly needed visitor. He went her as she smiled brightly at him.

"Hey Steve."

"Mary," he said, barely able to get the words out as their arms went around each other in the best embrace he'd had so far. "You crazy," he said laughing through the tears that began to form over her presence. "What are you doing here?"

"What do mean what am I doing her," she questioned his question. "Danny told me my big brother was having some trouble. Where else would I be?"

He squeezed her harder for that, kissing her cheek. "I'm glad you're here." He didn't let go right away like he always did in the past, feeling elated over having her there.

His reaction was even better than she had expected. It was always Steve coming to her rescue; she was overly pleased that for once she could do something for him.

They all sat at one of the picnic tables as he devoured the promised Puka Dog, saving the second one for later. It was as casual and easy going as if they were sitting outside of Kamakona's Shrimp truck eating lunch.

Emily looked out the back door, watching them as they laughed and joked around, seeing Steve reach across the table at one point, taking a swing at Danny. Her first reaction was shock, thinking it was an act of aggression until she saw all of them laughing over it, knowing then it was just boys being boys.

She was glad for their visit. Steve needed it, especially having Mary there. He was progressing nicely she thought, so much so she was contemplating an early release for him, feeling confident that he could make the transition back into everyday life with little difficulty. She could make routine calls to him just incase to make sure he wasn't slipping, but with the progress he'd made so far and the support team around him now, she felt a relapse was not at all in his future.

Steve hugged each one before they left, thanking them individually for coming. Mary held back talking with Chin and Kono as Danny said his goodbyes.

"You look good Steve," he said honestly. "You really do."

"Thanks Buddy. I feel good." He delayed the inevitable for as long as he could. "So you went by the house the other day? Everything's good?" he could have cared less about the house, but wanted to know if he'd seen Anna.

Danny nodded, "Yep, it's still there. Smelled a little musty, but good." He knew he needed to tell him now about Anna. He didn't want to blindside him when he got home. He felt he needed time to prepare himself.

Steve nodded as well over his answer and was about to ask him out right when Danny beat him to it.

"I need to tell you something." He let out a deep sigh, looking right at him as he broke the news. "When I was over there the other day…there was for sale sign in Anna's front yard. She's selling the house."

Steve felt his head begin to swirl, considering that the worst possible news he could have got. She was moving away from him. It was like the final nail in the coffin, ending the chance of any kind of reconciliation with her.

Danny could see the disappointment all over him, wishing now he wouldn't have said anything, but he felt he had too. "I'm sorry man."

Steve shrugged as if he expected it. "Yea, well," was all he got out, feeling his heart taking the brunt of the news. He put his hands on his hips and bent his head, taking in deep calculated breathes, wishing for the first time in days that he could reach for a pill and make it all go away.

"You ok?" Danny asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He nodded; using the guidance that Emily had given him by not letting himself fall into that crevice. "I'm not feeling too hot right now," he whispered to him, not wanting the others to hear.

Danny took that the wrong way as if he felt physically sick. "You mean like sick?"

"No," Steve replied, feeling the sweat on his palms begin to form, "like I would cut off my right arm for a pill."

Danny stared at him, shocked over hearing that. He could see the strain on him over it too, now that he understood. "What do you need me to do? Do you want me to get Emily?"

"No," he replied somberly, "it'll pass. It just comes on fast, runs me over and then moves on."

Danny could hear the desperation in voice. He moved his hand up around the back of Steve's neck, squeezing it. "Listen to me. You beat this fucking thing head on. Do you hear me? You'll never go back, I'll make damn sure of that. Life is full of ups and downs that are going to kick your ass at every turn, you should know that better than me. But unlike before you now know that you need help and you also know that it's here whenever you need it. You understand?" he gently shook him. "Do you hear me?"

Steve nodded, "Yes." He knew he was right. As he accepted his words of encouragement the craving slowly faded away to that place that couldn't touch him at the moment, because he was amongst friends.

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Mary followed behind Steve after the others had left. He came in his room motioning with his arm. "Well here it is. My temporary castle."

She smiled, pointing out the window. "Great view."

"I love that part," he said, admiring it for the hundredth time.

She peeked inside the bathroom, seeing the broken mirror. "Wow," she chuckled, "bad day or something?"

Steve smiled sheepishly. "I kind of lost my temper."

"At who?"

"Myself," he replied.

Mary sat down on the bed. "You take everything too seriously Steve. You need to lighten up."

He sat down next to her. "You think so?" he wasn't above anyone's advice at the moment, even Mary's, whom he'd always thought was ridiculous.

"I've been wanting to say it for years, but yes, lighten up big brother. The world is waaaayyy to heavy for you to carry around all the time."

He'd been hearing that a lot lately, deciding that maybe she did have a point. He should have listened to her more but he was always too concerned about her, and now here she was, there because he was the screw up this time. "Did I let you down, Mary? I mean for being here? Did I disappoint you?"

She looked over at him, surprised over the sincerity of his voice. "God Steve," she scolded him, "I'm serious, lighten up! Being here doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a better one."

He put his arm around her getting her in a headlock and pulled her in, kissing the top of her head. "I love you Sis."

"When you get out of here you have to promise me to enjoy life more," she looked up at him, "and no more Navy stuff. That last accident you had is enough. And it pissed me off that I didn't even know about it until two weeks later."

"Danny said he tried to get a hold of you."

"You're in Navy Intelligence and run some fricking task force for the Governor and you can't find some screw up who lost her phone?"

"You're not a screw up. You have a great life, Mary," he squeezed her tighter. "Don't ever listen to me or anyone else who hounds you about settling down. If this is who you are and who you want to be, then be it."

She smiled graciously over that. "You know what? That's probably the most logical piece of advice you have ever given me, amongst the other thousands that you've tried to force on me, and its the one that I will listen to the most, unlike the other thousand ones."

Steve laughed over that, putting her in another headlock, playfully this time. "Smart ass."

Mary giggled, being reminded of when he would do that when they were younger. "I love you too Steve. You're like my rock, the only permanent thing in my life at the moment."

"You always know you can come to me for anything, don't you Mary?"

"Yes," she nodded, feeling it to be 100% true. "And the same goes for you."

"Good." He let go of her and stood up, feeling pleased over the conversation that had needed to take place for years. "Are you hungry? They've got great food here. We can go over to the dinning hall and get something to eat?"

"I'm starving. You have nothing to eat at the house." She followed him out the door.

"You're staying at the house?"

"Of course. Where else would I stay? A hotel?" she laughed.

"Right, of course." It wasn't that he cared if she were staying there or not, he felt it was just as much hers as it was his. It was the fact that she was in that close of a vicinity to Anna, having never met her before, but she knew of her. "Is everything good at the house?" he asked, "Danny was over there last week to check on it."

"Yes, except its lack of food." She knew of Anna and their separation, well as much information as she could get from Danny about it. "I saw the kids next door. They were coming home from school, very cute, especially the little girl. What's her name? Jenny?"

"Yes." He could picture her running down the street home with her backpack on and her blond hair flapping behind her. It just made him miss her all the more. "She's a character. Sweetest thing you'll ever meet." He looked over at her as they walked down the hallway. "Did you talk to her?"

"No, she and her brother went in the house." She looked over at him waiting for his next question, but when it didn't come she brought it up for him. "Aren't you going to ask me if I saw Anna?"

He wanted to more than anything, but the pain of knowing she was selling the house and that it was officially over was still a fresh wound. "Did you?"

"She was standing at the edge of the porch waiting for them. God Steve, even from a distance she's beautiful."

"I know," he replied somberly. "Danny said she's selling her house."

Mary pictured the front yard. "I didn't see a for sale sign out front."

That made him feel even worse than before, knowing she must have already sold it. He figured it would go quick. They were in a nice neighborhood, close to the beach and good schools but still away from the hustle and bustle of Waikiki. He'd had realtors leave cards on his door several times asking if he were interested in selling. She would probably be moved out, he thought sadly, before he even got home.

"It probably already sold," he replied with a heavy heart.

"You don't think there's any chance of you getting back together with her?" She was hopeful, knowing he had been happy with her.

"I don't think so. I did some pretty horrible things to her."

The disappointment was evident in his voice. It broke her heart to know what he was going through, wishing she had something to say to pull him out of it. So she said the only thing that made sense at the moment. "If you love her, then fight for her. Don't let her go. I can't believe that she loved you enough to marry you and then all of a sudden what? Poof, the love disappears? I don't buy it. And again, the things you did probably aren't as bad as you think. You beat yourself up too much. You were struggling with an addiction, it wasn't the real you, and if she doesn't see that then screw her. She doesn't deserve you. Move on and find someone else, because you're a great guy Steve."

He stopped and stared at her as she kept walking.

Mary stopped when she noticed he wasn't next to her anymore, looking over her shoulder at his glowing expression. "What?"

He went up to her and put an arm over her shoulder, giving her a squeeze as they continued on. "Do you have any idea how incredible you are?"

Mary huffed, "Finally! I've been telling you that for years."

Steve laughed. "You made my day little sister."  
He held the door open for her as they entered the dinning area.

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Emily stood on the steps with Steve where they had met a little over three weeks before. He had his duffel bag packed and sitting on the ground next to him, Danny was standing by the Camaro in the parking lot below.

"How do you feel?" Emily asked him.

"Nervous, anxious, apprehensive," and then he smiled, "also good, strong and capable."

Emily returned the smile. "You know I'm just a phone call away. I will be available to you twenty four hours a day."

He nodded, needing to hear that but confidant that he wouldn't require it. "Thank you Emily, for everything." He felt himself getting choked up over having to leave her. She had been more than just his counselor over the past three weeks, she'd had become like a second mother to him. She wiped his forehead when he was sick and sweaty. She cleaned up his vomit when he couldn't make it to the bathroom. She'd comforted him, scolded him and guided him through the hardest and most stressful time of his life. She had literally been the gift from the Akua's that he'd been praying for.

She too was going to miss him. She recognized his decency the first day he arrived, but as she dug more into his personality, his compassion for people was what impressed her the most, even underneath all the pain and troubles he had.

It had been a pleasure watching him grow and recover into the person standing before her. She was just as proud of his recovery than he was. Society was gaining an upper hand by having him re-enter it.

She reached up and put her hands on his face, "You are going to do just fine. Stay on track with your journal. Keep your friends close and always, always remember that it's just one day at a time."

He nodded, feeling his eyes mist over as he leaned in and hugged her. "I'll see you in a couple of weeks right?" He knew he would, he just needed that reassurance that this wasn't goodbye.

"Absolutely. I have you on my schedule." She squeezed him hard before letting go. "Go on now, Danny's waiting for you." She smiled once more at him, feeling herself getting choked up as well.

He leaned over and picked up his duffel bag and began walking toward Danny. He turned around walking backwards as he held up his hand, giving her a shaka, "Aloha."

Emily returned his gesture, "Aloha Steve."

Danny popped open the back of the Camaro as Steve tossed his bag in.

"You ready to go home?" he asked him.

Steve nodded his answer. The only anxiety he had at the moment was seeing or not seeing Anna again. But that concern, he thought, would be resolved in less than half an hour.

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As they turned down the road to his house, Steve had his eyes focused on the house that was coming up on his right. There was no for sale sign that he could see just as Mary had said, but as they came around the group of trees he couldn't help but smile when he saw the white Lexus SUV parked in the driveway.

Danny reached over and gently slapped his shoulder. "Hey look at that. The for sale sign is gone." He pulled in Steve's driveway and turned the car off, but neither of them got out right away.

"I know. Mary said she didn't see one."

"Maybe Anna changed her mind," Danny announced.

Steve looked over at him. "Maybe she already sold it."

"Maybe you need to go over and find out?"

Steve gave a look that told Danny flat out how he felt about that.

"Alright, alright," he said to him. "Never mind."

* * *

Jenny heard a car and sat up, leaning on the back of the couch, looking out the window. She saw Danny's car parked in the driveway not thinking anything of it at first until she saw Steve get out of the passenger side.

"Steve's home!" she yelled out, jumping up and down on the sofa, hoping he'd look in her direction. "Steve's home!" she yelled out even louder the second time, announcing it to the house. She jumped off the couch and went for the stairs, going up as fast as she could.

Anna came down the hallway from her room after hearing the news, surprised that it was so soon. She saw Jenny stop at Eric's room first as he sat at his desk momentarily distracted from his homework over the news.

"Steve's home!" Jenny said to him excitedly.

"So what," he replied bitterly.

"I'm going over to see him."

Eric leaned over and closed the door in her face.

Jenny went in her room and got the welcome home picture she had made for him, carefully pulling it out from underneath her bed where she had kept it for safe keeping.

Anna came in and went to her window, seeing just a glimpse of him before he went in his house with Danny.

"Do you want to come over and see Steve with me?" Jenny asked, holding the picture.

"No," Anna replied. "And I don't think you should go over there right now either and bother him. He just got home."

Jenny ignored her and began walking toward her door. "I'm going right now!"

"Jenny," Anna said, "I said not now."

She ignored her again and went out and down the stairs at a fast pace.

"Jenny!" Anna chased after her. "I said not now." She caught her at the bottom just about to open the door, putting a hand on it. She knew in a matter of seconds that it was a huge mistake to try and keep her away.

"Stop it!" Jenny screamed hysterically at the top of her lungs. She dropped the picture and pulled on the doorknob with both hands. "Let me out! I'm going!" She yanked on the door, trying to kick Anna at the same time. "Let me out!" she screamed again only this time her voice penetrated her frustration as she began to cry.

Anna had only seen her lose control like that once before, in the backseat of the car when she was defending the same person she was desperately trying to get to now. Anna realized that it was fruitless to try and kept her away, but more than that she knew it would be cruel. "Ok, Jenny. Ok," she said apologetically "You can go." She let her hand off the door as it came open.

Jenny never looked back at her. She wiped her eyes and picked up her picture and resumed her task of running out the door and across the yard over to Steve's house.

"Hey!" Danny yelled up the stairs to Steve, "incoming across the yard. It's looks like a five year old on a mission," he laughed.

Steve tossed his bag on the bed and came out the door and down the stairs. "Jenny?" he smiled brightly.

"Three, two, one…" Danny pointed at the door as they both heard a knock and then another one as if the person on the other side was impatient. "For god sakes man," Danny laughed, "Answer the door."

Steve hustled over to the door and opened it, smiling down at her. His first reaction was elated but it quickly faded as he could clearly see the turmoil on her face as she panted heavily and tried to smile through whatever was upsetting her. He knelt down on one knee but before he could even ask her what was wrong she burst into tears, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, still holding the picture.

He hugged her back, stroking her back softly. "I haven't seen you in so long. Don't cry." He couldn't stand the sight of any woman crying, but this one in particular was breaking his heart.

She slowly released the grip around his neck and stood before him, showing him the picture as the tears still flowed freely. "I…I made this…for you," she said gulping air as she spoke.

He looked from her to the picture of the two of them eating pizza and then back at her. "I love it. You know how much I love pizza. I missed you so much. But why are you crying?"

She leaned in resting her hand on his shoulder, "Anna said…I couldn't…come over, but," she panted, "I got really mad…and she said ok." She put her arms around his neck again as he took the picture and her and stood up. He went over to the coffee table and sat down, setting her on his lap. He looked over at Danny, neither one had to say a word to know what the other was thinking, and it wasn't good.

"Come on now," he said to her. "Stop crying. You're going to make Danny cry and you don't want to hear Danny cry, he snorts really loud when he cries."

Jenny laughed, wiping the back of her hand across her nose.

"It's true," Danny pretended to cry and then snorted. "See!"

Jenny started laughing, "You're not really crying."

"No," he replied, "but I made you laugh, so you're not crying anymore either."

Jenny smiled and then looked up at Steve. "I saw you come home, from the window."

"I told you we'd see each other again," he said, shaking her until she started to laugh again. "That's what I want to hear. No more crying. I've been gone a long time and I want to hear all the fun stuff I missed."

* * *

Anna sat on the couch and looked across the way at Steve's door, watching to see if he would appear in the open doorway. She contemplated going over there, but quickly shut that idea down, not knowing what she would say to him. She was jealous of Jenny, being so innocent and having the ability to just run over and see him at the drop of a hat. She bit mindlessly at her thumbnail, lifting her head higher at one point thinking she saw movement, but it was nothing. Her stomach was in turmoil having him right there next door all over again. She would have to speak to him sooner or later it was inevitable. They were next-door neighbors; she was bound to run into him. She just hoped that it was him that made the first move. The phone call that had taken place confused her even more now. There had only been one call and she'd had no communication with him since then. Maybe he had a change of heart, she thought. Maybe he was in one of those stages of recovery where he was feeling lonely and nostalgic. Maybe, she thought sadly, maybe the loneliness and nostalgic wore off.

She sat up seeing Jenny come out the door. She strained her neck and then lowered it, trying to see beyond the tree branches in his front yard for an image of him, but once again to her dismay, there was nothing.

She came off the couch and went for the door as Jenny skipped across the yard home. Gone was the anger and tears, replaced with a smile. She was jealous of her once again, recalling several times skipping across that same path home after being with him.

She opened the door and greeted her with an apology. "I'm so sorry Jenny for trying to keep you home. That was wrong of me."

"It's ok," she replied, going past her and up the stairs humming a song that Anna knew but couldn't recall the name.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm going to make another picture for Steve."

"How is he? Is he good?" she asked, and then cringed, feeling foolish for trying to interrogate a five year old over the behavior of her former fiancé'.

Jenny stopped at her bedroom door, looking down the stairs at her. "What?"

Anna shook her head. "Never mind. Did you have a nice visit?"

"Yes. He missed me," she said, before disappearing into her room.

Anna sank down on the bottom step, leaning her head against the wall. "Did he miss me?" she whispered. "Did he ask about me at all?"

* * *

Danny looked at the time on his cell phone. "You want to go grab a slice of pizza for dinner? That drawing is making me hungry."

Steve stuck another piece of tape to the top right corner of Jenny's picture, securing it to the wall in the kitchen because the front of the fridge was already covered with her other drawings. "No, I'm pretty tired actually. I think I'm just going to make something here and then crash early. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed."

Danny looked around. "Mary left it in pretty good shape. Too bad she couldn't stick around longer."

"It's ok," Steve grinned, pleased with the time they spent together in the center. "We had a good talk."

"You want me to stick around for a while? I can. I can even crash on the couch if you want?"

"No. You can take off. I'm ok Danny, but thanks."

He felt a little hesitant about going but knew he had to trust him. "Ok. If you need anything call me."

Steve walked him to the door. "I will. Otherwise I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yep." He went to leave and then stopped. "Are you sure you're ok? That whole thing with Anna not wanting Jenny to come over, that's kind of bugging me. Is that bugging you?"

Steve crossed his arms leaning against the doorframe. "Look Danny, I know what you're thinking, but its ok, really."

"Maybe you should just break the ice and go over and talk to her."

"I already did," Steve confessed. "I called her the day after I called you from rehab. I didn't say much but I kind put the ball in her court," he looked across the way through the trees at her house. "She made it clear today by not wanting Jenny to come over that she doesn't want to reconcile. I'm not going to go over there and put her on the spot. It wouldn't be fair. I'm just going to keep my distance until they move."

"Jenny never said anything about a move."

Steve shrugged, "Maybe she doesn't know yet. Why rock the boat, you know."

Danny ran his hands over his hair. "Shit. This really sucks. I was just sure…you know, you two."

Steve reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, "It's alright, Buddy. You'll be ok. The pain will go away in a few days."

Danny chuckled over his easiness of the subject, feeling a little better over leaving him now. "Ok, ok, I'm going."

"Good. I'll talk to you tomorrow," he said as Danny walked to his car, raising his hand over his head, waving goodbye.

Steve closed the door and got about two steps before the impact of it came crashing down on him. He tried to play it off to Danny, not wanting to worry him, but it was affecting him. It was killing him.

He bent over, bracing his hands on his knees taking in deep breathes, but it wasn't helping. He took a step back, falling against the door and slid down it. He wished he were back at the center in the comfort of his room that was like a sanctuary, protecting him from having to deal with what was happening to him now. He could hide there but he couldn't hide here. She was everywhere in his house. He swore he could even smell her perfume.

His eyes focused across the way into the kitchen, staring at the cupboard that held the spices, knowing there had been a bottle of pills in there when he had left. He didn't tell anyone about them, not because he wanted them, but because he wanted them there to prove to himself that he'd won. He beat it. The want was still there, it probably always would be, but his willpower was stronger.

He pushed himself up off the floor and bypassed the kitchen all together, going directly upstairs. He'd lost his appetite, but not from the fighting the craving, he had a new war to overcome now; the battle over his broken heart. He had a bad feeling it was going to be the worst fight yet.

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Steve pulled into the grocery store parking lot and parked. He pulled out his phone going over the grocery list he had started, adding a couple of things he'd thought of on the way there. Mary was right, he was pretty much out of everything, understating now why he had lost so much weight before. He never ate and what he did have in the freezer he ended up tossing in the garbage.

The food he ate at the center was good and had done the trick packing calories on him. He was almost back up to his regular size and with the workouts he'd been putting in, he felt pretty healthy, but if he kept eating the way he had been over the last three weeks, he'd end up over weight. He just needed a fresh start.

He added cinnamon bread to the list as he walked toward the opening. He'd snacked on that a couple of times with peanut butter, loving it. No point in denying all the good stuff, he thought as he slipped his phone in his back pocket and grabbed a cart from one of the three rows.

He turned around heading inside when he heard a familiar voice call out his name.

"Steve! Hi Steve!"

He stopped just after going through the sliding doors hearing Jenny's voice and feeling her arms come around his waist giving him a hug, but his attention was on Anna as she stared back across at him, her cart filled with bags of groceries blocking his way.

She felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest as she squeezed the handle of the cart. She couldn't believe that she was standing less than three feet from him but what had her even more flustered was that he looked so incredibly handsome that she could hardly catch her breath. It was like a flash back of the day he came strolling across the lawn in his Navy uniform. She felt the same flutter in her stomach now as she did that day. She was well aware of the fact that the attraction had not faltered whatsoever, if anything it had gained momentum. "Say something," she whispered, thinking it, but not realizing she had said it out loud in her spellbound state.

"It's good to see you," he said, not sure if that's what she wanted to hear, but it's what he was feeling at the moment. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. He could feel his blood coursing through his body like a freight train. When she didn't reply he turned his attention to Jenny who had been talking to him but he'd yet to hear a word she'd said. Even looking down at her he could see her lips moving but he couldn't focus on anything other than the woman who was staring at him across the way.

"It's good to see you too," she finally said, repeating his words, not sure if it even came out coherently.

He looked back over at her and smiled and then saw Eric who had been standing off to the side, hoping to go unnoticed. "Hey Eric. How you doing?"

"Fine," he said coolly, moving in front of Anna, taking the handle of the cart. "Lets' go," he said stubbornly.

"I saw that you got home yesterday," Anna said, ignoring Eric's plea.

Steve nodded, trying to swallow down the dryness in his throat. "Yes, yesterday."

"Come on Anna. The ice cream is going to melt," Eric demanded, moving their cart around Steve's, as the two of them locked eyes. Eric turned away quickly seeing the hurt in Steve's over his dismissal of him but he still wasn't ready to forgive him just yet. He was still angry too that the move had been postponed.

Anna gave him the keys. "You go ahead and start unloading the groceries into the car. I'll be right there." She was slightly annoyed with the boy. She too could see the effect it had on Steve, feeling sorry for him over it. She couldn't bring herself to run off like Eric, not after that display. "I'm sorry about that."

He looked back over at Anna feeling a whole new set of emotions crash over him. "It's ok. He has right to be angry." He wanted to tell her that she did too and it was ok that she was moving away, he understood.

"He should learn how to forgive," she replied. "You shouldn't give up on people so easily. They make mistakes. We all make mistakes."

He almost felt as if she were responding to his phone call. If she were, then his whole theory of her not forgiving him was blown out of the water over that reply.

She looked past him seeing Eric struggling to put the groceries in the car by himself. She looked back at Steve regretfully. There was so much she wanted to say to him but knew the timing wasn't right. "We should get going. It was good to see you Steve. You look really good." She wanted more than anything to touch him but couldn't bring herself to do it; afraid she'd never let go. She took Jenny's hand instead.

"Anna," he said as she went to walk past him. "I know you had the house for sale and you're moving. I understand why you don't want to live there anymore. I'm sorry."

She looked up at him, hearing, seeing and feeling his apology, knowing now she had made the right choice. "I didn't sell the house. I took it off the market." She smiled at him, "Let's just say I had a change of heart." She held his gaze for another few seconds, enjoying his reaction over that news too much to turn away too quickly. "I'll see you around neighbor."

And once again he was run over by another set of emotions, only this time he was left with a tingling sensation throughout his body that was better than any drug known to man.


	28. Chapter 28

Steve came out of the ocean and pulled the towel down from the tree that was hanging in his backyard. He wiped his face off and then ran it over his head a couple of times drying his hair off, leaving it spiked up until he ran his hand over it, laying it in place.

He sat down in one of the lawn chairs and looked out over the horizon feeling good about the distance he'd just covered by the swim. He was getting stronger every day. It also gave him a chance to think more clearly. A swim could do wonders for his subconscious, thinking amusingly that he should have spent more time in the water before rehab; maybe he would have caught on to his stupidity sooner.

This swim he focused mainly on Eric. He couldn't get over the look of hatred that he gave him the day before at the grocery store. It had bothered him all night as well. He owed him an explanation, not quite sure what that was going to be just yet, but he owed him something, an apology more than anything and a chance to plead for a renewed friendship. But by the look he'd given him Steve was pretty sure it was going to be a difficult conversation, but still, it was one that needed to be had, and soon.

He had an idea of the setting of where it could take place, but that was up to Anna. He had to ask her permission first, not sure that she would even let him take Jenny and Eric. He couldn't blame her if she didn't, having a back up plan just incase.

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Anna lay back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Eric and Jenny were gone to school and the house was quiet. She was alone with nothing but the endless thoughts of the man that was back living next door. She'd replayed the phone call a thousand times in her head and the conversation the day before. It seemed odd to her that they had been so intimate at one time and now it was as if they were strangers again. The worst part was she didn't know how to break out of it. She wondered if he felt the same way. She didn't know anything about this new person that she ran into the day before either. It looked like Steve but he seemed apprehensive with her, where as at one time he used to be assertive, but in a good way.

She smiled recalling the time he carried her up the stairs and then peeled her clothes off, making love to her in the sweetest way. The absolute pleasure of it was still fresh in her mind, knowing that day was only the beginning of what he had to offer sexually. That wonderful sensation rippled through her even now just thinking about it. Her body reacted to the memory as she closed her eyes feeling his hands on her, moving slowly over her, ever so patient and gentle. She swallowed down the saliva in her throat as she recalled how his lips would go from hers', to her neck, to her shoulder, to her breasts, always making her feel desired but no more so than when he would kiss her.

They were deep and along with the wonderful strength and control that he maintained between her legs, sometimes the combination of the two would prove explosive, leaving her dazed but always satisfied.

Her fantasy came to a halt from the knock on her front door. Her eyes flew open and she took in a deep breath as if she'd been holding hers. She went to sit up and felt her head swirl just a bit as she came off the couch, sitting back down again and then laughing off her morning erotica as she pushed off the couch again going to the door. She knew it was Adam. He emailed her the night before, telling her he was going to bring over the long overdue final documents that she needed to sign after taking the house off the market.

She felt the tingling in her body subside due to the person at her door, but the second she opened it that wonderful sensation returned. The man who had been fulfilling that fantasy was standing in front of her.

He had prepared himself for seeing her, even going as far as taking an extra minute before knocking to mentally work out the nerves. He needed this for Jenny and Eric, no matter how awkward it might be for him, or her. He'd just get it over with quick

All his preparedness and confidence was blown to hell the second she opened the door. Her face was flushed and her lips red and full like they used to be after he would kiss her. The dark blue T-shirt she had on did little to hide her perfectly shaped breasts, bra or no bra. Her long tanned legs were barefoot and she wore a pair of short cut off jeans that covered the lower part of her body that he knew for a fact was just as perfect as the rest of her. In all sense, she was as good as naked standing there in front of him, clothes or not. His eyes only saw her the one way.

"Hi," she smiled, not expecting it to be him.

He had to start from scratch, searching for that composure amongst the world of fantasy that had him lost at the moment, wishing he could just kiss her and get it over with. It would put them back to where they belonged and everything would be good again. But times were different now.

"Are you busy right now," he asked, trying his hardest not to scan her body with his eyes.

"No," Anna replied, '_I'm just laying on the couch fantasizing about your hands all over me,' _she thought, bending her head and grinning. She looked back up at him. "Do you want to come in?" She stepped back opening the door for him.

He glanced inside, remembering a time when he didn't have to be invited in because he practically lived there. He wanted to go inside but held back, not feeling like he had the right to, not just yet. "No, thanks. I wanted to ask you something."

Anna's smile faded over the declined invitation.

"I was wondering if it would be ok with you if I took Jenny and Eric out for dinner, maybe for pizza or something? I think I owe them an explanation about everything that happened, especially Eric." He shifted his weight, feeling that awkwardness that he had tried so hard not too. He ran his hand over his hair not sure what he was supposed to do with his hands; anytime he'd been near her, they were on her.

His uneasiness of being there was so obvious that Anna was almost becoming annoyed with it, even more so than his need to explain himself to the kids and not one mention of an explanation to her of his phone speech. She wasn't supposed to give up on him but what was she supposed to do, wait? Wait until he decided she'd waited long enough, and how long was that?

When she didn't answer right away he began to fear that he had broken her trust so much that she didn't want him taking them. "I understand Anna if you don't want me to take them someplace. I can work something else out, but I'd really like to talk to them."

She nodded knowing he was right; putting aside her anger realizing the kids came first. They always had in their relationship; he knew that and was putting them first now like it should be. "I think that's a good idea. When?"

His pleasure over her approval showed. "Whenever is good for you."

She shrugged, "How about tonight?"

Another surprise. "Sure. What time would be good?"

"I'll send them out at…five?" she asked, leaning against the door, watching as his uneasiness vanished in the blink of an eye. It dawned on her then that it wasn't being around her that made him nervous, it was her re- action toward him that made him nervous.

He nodded his approval, "Ok. I won't have them out late."

Anna shrugged, "It's ok."

She was being so generous he felt bad for leaving her out of the equation, even though he wanted it to be just the three of them. "You can come if you want. I mean if you think it would be better."

She was pleased that he offered her an invitation, not sure if it was because he felt he should or if he really wanted her to come. It didn't matter either way; she felt it would be better if she weren't there. The three of them needed this time together, especially he and Eric. "Thanks, but I think it would be better if I stayed home. You three go and don't worry about time. Take as much as you need."

She was surprising him around every turn. He looked upon her now not as the sexual object of his desire, but the thoughtful, kindhearted woman that he'd fallen in love with. "Thank you, Anna."

She fell right back under his spell, completely taken in by just a look that could level her where she stood. She hadn't seen it in a while, almost forgetting how good it felt. How incredibly good he could make her feel, even without his hands.

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"Eric," Jenny knocked on his bedroom door. "Come on, it's five o'clock Anna said we can go now."

"I already told you I'm not going," he yelled out to her.

She tried to open the door but could feel his hand on the doorknob, holding it. "Eric?"

"Go away Jenny!"

She let go and angrily stomped her foot. "I'm not waiting for you. I'm going right now!"

"Fine!"

She turned and saw Anna standing on the top step of the stairs. "He doesn't want to go, but I'm going." She went past her down the stairs. "He's being mean again."

Anna went to the door and knocked once before opening it. She looked down at him as he did his homework. "Eric…"

"I don't want to go," he said without looking up, turning the page of his math book.

Anna squatted down holding the end of his desk. "Put down that pencil and look at me," she demanded.

He huffed, but did as he was told, sitting back in the chair and stubbornly crossing his arms.

"I think you should go and hear what he has to say."

"I don't care what he has to say."

"Eric," her voice turning sympathetic, she pleaded with his compassionate side. "He was your friend, your best friend. He made some mistakes. He knows that, and now all he wants to do is try and make up for that. He just wants a chance to say he's sorry."

He uncrossed his arms, playing with a piece of string that hung from his shirt hem. "I'm still mad at him."

"I know you are. And you have ever right to be angry, but Steve is just a person like you and me. I know you expect more from him because you loved him so much and respected him so much, but he makes mistakes just like everyone else. And you know if the tables were turned, he'd sit down with you and listen. Don't you think he deserves that same respect from you?" She stood up looking down at him, feeling she had made her point. "He just wants a second chance to be your friend again, that's all."

Steve stood next to his truck and smiled as Jenny came out the door and started running over to him. He looked beyond her and his smiled faded, not seeing Eric. He knew it was a fifty-fifty chance but had hoped for the best.

"Hi Steve," Jenny said, slamming into his waist hugging him.

"Hi sweetie." He put a hand on her, hugging her back. "Is Eric coming?"

She looked up at him angrily. "No! He's being stupid again."

"Don't say that. He's angry and that's ok. I'll talk to him another time." He felt his heart sink over his absence, knowing the longer it was put off the worse it could get.

"Can we still go?" Jenny asked hopefully.

He smiled down at her. "Absolutely." He picked her up and set her inside the back door of his truck. "Buckle up for pizza and ice cream."

Jenny climbed on the seat and sat down, pulling the seat belt across her body. "Are you going to have worms in your ice cream?" she laughed.

"Of course," he replied double-checking her strap. "I've been craving some worms."

He closed the door and got in the driver's seat glancing over at their house as he started the engine. He couldn't help but feel wounded over the absence of Eric. He missed him, knowing now more than ever that he'd done some serious damage to that friendship, not sure where to go from here in his attempt to reconcile with him.

He began to drive down the street when he heard his name being called. He stopped and looked over his shoulder, seeing Anna waving at him with Eric next to her.

"Go on," Anna said to him.

He hesitated for just a second and then began to run toward the truck, relieved that he had caught them before they left. He was still mad at him, really mad, but he also couldn't deny that he missed his friend, that and along with Anna's guilt trip he decided to go after all. But he wasn't going to forgive him if he didn't feel like it.

Steve reached over and opened the passenger side door, inviting him to sit up front with him.

Eric climbed in and closed the heavy door, pulling his seat belt across his shoulder.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," Steve said to him. "Thanks for coming."

Eric gave him a side-glance and a small shrug. "Ok."

He put the truck in gear as he and Jenny locked eyes in the rear-view mirror. She smiled happily as he winked at her, both glad they were all together just like old times. Jenny began to hum a tune as they continued on to the pizza place.

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Jenny set her second piece of pizza back on her plate and shoved it across the table toward Eric. "Do you want the rest of my pizza, Eric? I don't want no more. I'm full."

He didn't reply but just pulled it over in front of him, finishing off his second piece.

Steve leaned back and reached in his pocket, taking out a wad of bills, handing three ones to Jenny. "Do you want to go play some video games?"

"Yes!" she replied happily, taking the money.

"Stay right over here where I can see you, ok?"

"Ok," Jenny agreed, sliding out of the booth. She didn't invite Eric, knowing Steve wanted to talk to him alone. He had told her so when Eric had gone to the bathroom before the pizza came.

Steve wiped his mouth off and picked up the pitcher of pop and refilled Eric's glass as he watched him devour Jenny's slice. "I swear, pretty soon I'm going to have to start ordering two pizzas."

Eric ignored the statement, barely saying two words since he'd got in the truck.

Steve sat back in the seat, deciding not to dance around the subject anymore. They both knew why they were there. "I know you're pissed at me Eric, and that's ok. I deserve it."

Eric set his slice down and sat back in the seat, swallowing down the bite in his mouth, but still refused to look at him.

Steve was pleased at least he had his attention, even though the scowl on his face was intimidating. "I did some pretty bad things that I regret, but I never meant to hurt you and Jenny or Anna. That's the last thing I wanted, but…"

"You made Anna cry," he blurted out, thinking Steve's words were stupid because if he didn't mean to hurt them, then why did he? "She cried all the time! She tried to act like she wasn't but she did! And it was all because of you!"

All the shame and guilt he'd felt in that past over what he'd done was in no comparison to what he felt now. He knew the impact of his actions had affected each one of them, but hearing it laid out so brutally from someone who had experienced it first hand was devastating. "I know," he replied, his voice expressing the pain that was engulfing him. "I think about it every second of the day, Eric, knowing what I did to all of you. I wish I could go back and change it, but I can't, and I to live with that. I know you don't want to hear it right now, but I'm sorry." He felt his throat closing up watching as Eric tried to fight off the same tears.

"Everything changed because of you," he said bitterly and then looked up at him narrowing his eyes, showing the anger he felt over his actions. "Are you still taking drugs?"

"No," Steve quickly replied, "no I'm not, and I won't ever again. I made a mistake Eric. I can sit here and give you every excuse in the book why I did those things, but the bottom line is I screwed up. I take full blame for what happened and it hurts, it hurts really bad. I don't know if it will ever go away. The only thing I can do is move forward and hope that I can make it up to the people I hurt." He wasn't so sure Eric was going to be one of them. "I thought about you while I was gone. I thought about you a lot. It scared me more than anything that you'd never forgive me."

Eric wiped his hand over his eyes and sniffed. "I hated you."

"So did I," Steve confessed. "Once I stopped taking the drugs and saw who I was. I hated me too."

Eric looked up at him, hearing someone else speaking even though it was Steve in front of him. He was shocked over the tears that were visible in his eyes too, never imaging Steve would ever cry, over anything.

"I'm sorry Eric. You have no idea how sorry I am. I wanted you to come tonight because I was hoping that I could convince you of that, but now as I sit here…I don't think pizza and ice cream is the cure. I have to prove myself to you, and I will. I'll do whatever it takes to gain back your trust and respect."

Eric stared at him. It wasn't going the way he thought it would. He pictured Steve saying he was sorry and that was all. But the conversation between them wasn't just an apology after all. He didn't know the word validated, but he knew the feeling and with Steve's confessions of regret and guilt over what had happened, he finally felt all the anger and hurt he had experienced over the last couple of months was finally being validated.

Jenny came up and slid in the seat next to Steve, "Are you friends again?"

He looked over at Eric and who smiled slightly over Jenny's blunt question. Steve put an arm around her body and pulled her over closer to him. "Are you broke already?" He tickled her waist when he did.

Jenny squirmed and laughed. "Yes! If you want to talk some more, you have to give me more money." She held her hand out to him.

Steve shook his head and looked over at Eric, "Take a look Eric." He took ahold of Jenny's hand. "When you get a girlfriend you better have plenty of cash on hand because the bill is always yours." He slapped another three dollars in her palm.

"I'm not your girlfriend," Jenny giggled, "Anna is your girlfriend." She looked up at him. "Are you going to get married again now that you're all better?"

He was at a loss for words over that question. The answer at the moment was no, but he refused to say it because somehow saying it out loud would make it final and he hadn't given up on them just yet, hoping Anna hadn't either. He didn't know what to say.

"Don't be so nosy, Jenny," Eric butted in, knowing she was too little to understand how touchy that subject was. "Come on," he said to her as he got out of the booth. "I'll play you a game of Skeet Ball."

Eric smiled uneasily at Steve as if trying to convey to him that he was sorry for his little sister's question. But they both knew she didn't know any better. He watched them go over to a game and slip the money inside the slot and begin to play. Eric being the ever-diligent big brother helped her so she could achieve the highest score. It was like watching a movie of he and Mary when they were younger. It was just as Emily had said. Eric was just like him. They were identical in their stubbornness to forgive, but even more so in the way Eric tried to protect him by diverting the painful subject of Anna. In the end his compassion outweighed his stubbornness and even his anger. They were exactly alike in that way too. He felt he'd made some good headway with Eric, but knew he was still a long way off from things being like they used to be.

He smiled at the two of them as they jumped up and down after getting the ball in the highest awarded hole. But his smile slowly faded, realizing there was only thing missing from this perfect picture, it was Anna.

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Eric got out of the truck and came around the other side as Steve helped Jenny get down.

"I'm going to take Anna her ice cream before it melts," she said, running across the yard with a cup of Anna's favorite flavor in hand.

Steve walked behind her with Eric next to him. "Thanks for coming tonight."

"Thanks for the pizza and ice cream."

"You're welcome." He smiled down at him even though he wasn't looking up, feeling good about the results of the night. It could have gone either way.

Anna came to the door as they made their way across the yard, holding her ice cream. "Thank you," she said to Steve.

"You're welcome." His smile grew.

She put a hand on Eric's head. "Do you have homework to finish up?"

"Yes." He glanced over his shoulder at Steve, "Bye. I'll see ya later."

"Later Eric."

They watched him go up the stairs and then turned to each other. The few seconds of awkward silence was broken by both of them talking at the same time.

"Sorry what?" Steve said.

"What? You go ahead, "Anna replied.

"No, go ahead what were you going to say?"

"I was just going to say that it looked like it went well."

"I think it went pretty well. We had a good man to man. I said my peace and he said his."

Anna smiled over that. Not sure what to say to him. Another awkward silence was broken as Jenny came down the hallway from the kitchen. She went straight up to Steve and put her arms around his waist, hugging him. "Thank you for taking us tonight." She looked up at both of them. "Next time Anna has to come too." With that she let go and dashed up the stairs.

"And then there's Jenny," Anna replied. They both laughed uncomfortably over her suggestion neither one sure which way to go in the conversation from there.

"Thanks for letting me take them tonight." He wanted to say he wished she were there with them, but didn't. Eric's words of what life was like for them after he was gone was still raw, not sure what he could say to her to get himself back to the place they used to be.

"I'm glad you did." She wondered when and if she were going to get the same respect as Eric and Jenny. Was this it? Was this going to be the extent of their relationship? Awkward conversations standing at the door after he spends a rewarding night with the kids, as if they were some divorced couple with nothing to say? There was plenty to say. She could feel her anger building over his silence.

Emily's words were tearing at his gut, telling him to speak up. Anna was one of those people he needed to open up too. She was the one that needed it the most but he didn't know where to start. She stared at him with those intense blue eyes. He swore on his life she was the only person alive that could make him shake in his shoes.

She got tired of standing there feeling like a fool. "I should get the kids ready for bed." She went to close the door when he put a hand on it.

"Anna."

She looked up at him, waiting again. He wanted to say something she could clearly see that. "What?! What? What do you want to say?" She lost her temper regretting it, but he was making her so frustrated.

"I wish you had been there with us tonight."

She narrowed her eyes at him, bewildered over that. Of all the things he could have said, that was it? That's what she got?

"Anna!" Jenny yelled from the top of the stairs. "We're supposed to wear purple tomorrow and my purple shirt is dirty."

She gave him about three more seconds and then said what she wanted to say. "I'm not some stranger living next door to you. I went through the worst with you and now you can't even share the healing part with me? You wished I were there tonight, for what Steve, to round out that perfect little image of a family to make yourself feel better about everything? Well, I'm not some imaginary placement piece in your fantasy. I deserve more than just a phone call asking me to not give up on you. You think just because you ask I'm going to jump? You're going to have to do better than that. If you ever want that fantasy to become a reality again you're going to have to work harder than that."

"What do you need Anna?" he asked, hoping she would just tell him. "Tell me what you want me to do? I'll do it."

She shook her head at him, still amazed that he didn't get it. She didn't want to tell him, she needed him to tell her. She wasn't even sure what that was, but she knew it had to come from him and it had to come from the heart or it would just be a cliché'. They couldn't go back to their old relationship. It didn't exist anymore. No matter how bad he or she wanted it, too much had happened to go back now. They'd become different people because of it. All they could do was move forward. She needed to know who this new person was standing in front of her and she needed to be able to tell him how it had changed her, but all he wanted to do was just skip the dirty work and jump into the bliss.

Jenny came down the stairs holding her purple shirt.

Anna looked at the tense expression on his face as he stood there anxiously waiting for her to tell him what he needed to do in order to get back to their lives. "I have to go," she replied irritably. "I have more important thing to do right now than explain the fundamentals of your pardon. To lay it out in terms that you can understand Steve…" she stepped back inside the house. "Figure it out for yourself." With that she closed the door, leaving him standing there bewildered and feeling like he'd just been scolded for not knowing what one plus one equaled.

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He came in the house and closed the front door, taking the first seat he could find. It ended up being the coffee table. His mind was racing wondering what he had done or what he had said to her that caused the hostility that had come on so quickly. He tried to play back the scene in his head and her words but it was all very confusing. His fear of losing her over something so foolish was playing havoc over his ability to reason things out.

He needed to calm down, feeling an attack approaching as he looked over toward the kitchen, knowing in the other room was a cure. His head began those mind tricks again that told him just one wouldn't hurt; he could take just one and that was all. It would be fine. He could handle just the one.

He stood up and went in the kitchen and past the cupboard reaching for his cell phone.

He dialed Emily's number as he went out the back door down toward the water, wanting to get as far away from the kitchen as possible. Luckily she answered on the second ring.

"Steve, how are you?" she said, but her voice was clearly showing her concern over the call, knowing it was him from the caller ID.

He sat down on the edge of the grass that stepped down to the beach. "Hey, I'm not bothering you am I?"

She wanted to reach through the phone and smack him in the head for that reply. "Of course you're not bothering me. Tell me what's happening."

"I saw Anna tonight." He rested his head in his hand still confused. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. She got so mad at me. I don't know why. I came home and I don't know but it all came on so fast. I keep trying to talk myself into just one pill."

"Don't tell me you don't know what happened, Steve," Emily began, "as if this is some new venture you're dealing with. You know very well what's happening, the question is, how are you going to deal with it?"

"I left the house. I'm outside now."

Emily sat up in her chair. "What do you mean you left the house? Do you have pills in the house Steve?"

He knew she'd blast him for that, but he wouldn't lie to her, not Emily. "Yes."

She felt maybe she'd made a mistake releasing him early. "Have you taken any?"

"No!" he said adamantly. "No! That's not why I have them. I need them Emily. I need them as a reminder of what I don't want and believe it or not they're like a crutch helping me move forward to what I do want."

She believed him when he said he hadn't taken them but his having them was textbook wrong, but somehow his explanation seemed rational to her, only because it was Steve. Anyone else and she probably would have been in her car, driving there. "I'm going to set up an appointment with you tomorrow and I want you to bring the pills with you, ok?"

"I'm not taking them Emily, I swear it."

"I believe you Steve, but I can't justify you having them in the house. I don't know why you always feel like you have to test yourself."

"I just do. It helps me."

"No it doesn't. Stop setting yourself up for failure. All you're doing is punishing yourself over and over for being bad. You're not bad Steve and whatever happened with Anna tonight, it doesn't change the fact that you're still in the healing process. Did you talk to Anna about that? Did you tell her about being here and what you went through and how you felt about what you did to her?"

"Why? She doesn't want to hear about that stuff. She lived it."

"That's exactly what she wants to hear and what she needs to hear. You hurt her! She needs to know that you know that! It's what we talked about. They need to hear you loud and clear Steve. Anna can't hear you if all you do is say you're sorry. Sorry isn't going to cut it."

He heard Emily loud and clear that was certain. Her lectures never left him asking why a second time. "Do you know she needs to hear those things from me because of your job," he grinned, "or because you're a woman?"

"Both!" she snapped out her reply without even having to think about it. "So if you won't listen to me as your guidance counselor, then listen to me because I'm 100% woman and I know what Anna wants and it isn't some lame ass apology. You're good looks aren't going to win you over this time sweetheart, you're going to have to dig deep and spill the goods."

Steve laughed, "You always know how to put things in perspective for me, Emily."

"That part is my job," she was pleased to hear him laugh, feeling confident that he was back on the right track, even more pleased that he had reached out to her. "Even if you do have that talk with Anna, Steve, don't expect to jump right back in to where you left off. To be honest, that house has been torn down, but the foundation is still there, build on that and let her help you, by the time you're all finished your relationship will be stronger than it ever was."

He loved her scenarios that always seemed so simple. "So by 'foundation' do you mean the love or the friendship?"

"Both, but you can't have love without friendship. Start there. You can never have too many friends."

He knew she was right; she was always right. "Thanks for picking up."

"Thank you for calling me. I want you to meet me at my office tomorrow at eleven sharp, and bring those pills. Do you hear me?"

Steve smiled, "Yes, ma'am loud and clear."

"Good, now go write something in your journal and go to bed."

Steve laughed again. "Ok." His voice became overly sincere. "Thank you Emily."

"You're welcome honey. Sleep well and I'll see you tomorrow."

He hung up and continued to sit on the edge looking out at the dark ocean in front of him, feeling content and once again at ease. Emily was right; he needed to start from scratch with Anna. "Dinner, " he thought, what better way to start a relationship than to simply ask her out on a date. It's where they began before; he smiled as he pushed himself up off the ground, thinking about how their last first date had ended, "best night of my life," he smiled happily, going inside the house to follow the orders of his mentor.

He walked past the spice cupboard without even giving it a second glance.

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Steve came out of his house on his way to see Emily and glanced over at Anna's. He couldn't see her but knew she was home. He was going to get this meeting out of the way with Emily, holding the bottle of pills in his hand, and then he was going to come home and pay Anna a visit.

It was a good morning. He'd slept through the night, which he hadn't done in a long time, feeling recharged and more energized than he had in a long time as well. He'd done as he was told and wrote another letter to Anna in his journal, telling her exactly what his plan was in building that new house, confident that with Emily's guidance along the way that that house was going to be hurricane proof.

He started to back his truck out of the driveway and stopped in front of Anna's house, seeing her walk by the front window. He felt the urge to do it now and put the car in park and climbed out, leaving it running and sitting in the middle of the street.

He walked up to her door and knocked.

Anna looked out and saw his empty truck and then him standing at her door. She ran her hands over her hair, still feeling slightly guilty over her behavior the night before, but was glad she had said what she did. Maybe she had lit a fire under his ass like she felt he needed. She stood before the door and took a deep breath, preparing herself for whatever he had to say, good or bad.

"Hi," Steve smiled, feeling his heart do a sudden leap at the woman standing before him. God what she could do to him? It was brutal. "Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?"

Anna wasn't prepared for that in the least. "I…um…" she was flabbergasted at his attitude that was like the complete opposite of the night before. "Well, the kids?"

"No kids, just you and me."

She smiled over that, her mind racing on whom she could get to watch them. She was so caught up in the idea of going with him someplace alone that she hadn't even responded yet to the question.

Steve leaned in just a bit not sure what was going on in that beautiful mind, but could see by the expression on her face that she was working fervently on an answer. "Are you…thinking yes…?" he asked, hopeful.

Anna looked up at him. "Yes," she laughed nervously. "I'm sorry, yes. I'm just trying to think of who could watch the kids."

"If it comes down to it, we can have dinner at my house. I'll throw some steaks on or something" he shrugged, "I don't know. I don't care, we just need to talk."

She was stunned again, wondering if her outburst the night before had shed some clarity into that handsome head of his. She didn't know and she didn't care, he wanted to talk and that statement alone set her heart racing. "Ok," she replied.

Steve's grin widened as he backed up off the porch, not wanting to be late with Emily. "Ok, I'll see you tonight then. I have to run."

Anna leaned against the doorframe and watched him run to his truck and jump in. She waved at him as drove off down the street.

"I swear that man is going to give me an aneurism some day," she said shaking her head with a grin. "But I bet I die with a smile on my face," she giggled as she shut the door.

* * *

Steve approached the steps of the rehab center, recalling his first day there as he walked the same path. It was only a few weeks earlier, but it seemed like a lifetime.

He was anxious to tell Emily about his date with Anna and hadn't even had a chance to tell her yet about he and Eric's breakthrough the night before, eager to fill her in on all the good news. He gripped the pills in his hand, not feeling the craving for them in the least. He was on a mission and there was nothing going to stop him. Nothing.

He smiled as Mark came out the doors, greeting him.

"Hey Mark. How ya doing?" But as he approached him the smile on Steve's face faded, seeing a devastating expression on Mark's.

"Steve," he began and then stopped, bending his head trying to find the strength to tell him.

"Are you all right? What's going on?" His concern and empathy was on overdrive over the distraught way in which he looked.

"It's Emily," he whispered.

Steve felt a shiver run through his body as he held his breath, feeling suddenly cold in the eighty-degree heat.

Mark forced himself to look up at him as fresh tears filled his eyes. "She passed away in her sleep last night, they," he paused gulping for air, "they think it was a heart attack."

Steve stared at him in disbelief as the news slowly made its way in, crashing down all over him until he could feel the pressure so tightly in his chest that he had to gasp just to get a breath and even then it wasn't enough to sustain him as he tried to get another, feeling like he was suffocating.

"I'm so sorry," Mark cried. He reached out taking him by the elbow, seeing the shocked in him turn to misery. "Come inside, Steve. We can talk."

He turned away from him, "No. I gotta go." He couldn't go in there. This wasn't happening, he told himself, hearing his name being called but continued on to his truck, not looking back and wanting to deal with another loss in his life. He couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it.

He slammed the door of the truck and started the engine, squealing the tires as he backed up and took off, not seeing Mark standing on the edge of the parking lot, calling for him to stop.

How dare she leave him, he thought angrily. She knew how much he needed her. How dare she abandon him! She was just like everyone else. He should have known better than to let himself get caught up in that kind of security, in that kind of trust. He gripped the steering wheel as tears began to form, hearing a car honk as he blew through a stop sign trying to keep the truck straight wanting to veer off the road and slam it head on into a light post.

He came down his street not even knowing how he made it home through the haze and confusion; his anger building as he cursed her for bailing on him. The truck came to halt as he slammed on the breaks sliding sideways as it came to a stop, barely missing the fence. He kept his hands on the steering wheel, hearing his cell phone buzzing as it lay on the passenger side floor from the reckless driving. Danny's face shown and then vanished as the call went to voice mail, but in a matter of seconds he called again, and again.

But after the first call his attention wasn't on the phone anymore, it was on the bottle of pills lying next to it. Steve stared at them, letting the weaker side of his conscience play off the misery by telling himself it was justified. The pain that was inflicting him was too much to deal with on his own. He could see more clearly and think more rationally if he could just make the pain go away. With that thought he reached down and picked up the bottle, forgoing the fourth call from Danny.

He popped the top off and let them fall into his hand, seeing seven of them.

"_Seven_," he thought, elated over the amount, knowing that could sustain him for hours. He could feel the euphoric rush already from the drug, but in that same second he could also feel the withdrawals of what it was like not to take them.

He closed his hand into a fist trying to fight off that feeling, not wanting to be reminded of it. The phone buzzed again and he looked down seeing Danny's face. The guilt over what he was wanted to do jumped up and bit him hard.

He needed to get away from Danny's calls that were beginning to irritate him. It was his life; he could live it the way he pleased. If he needed this then it was his choice, no one else's.

He got out of the truck with the pills tightly held in his fist, still battling with his inner demons, not able to take them and not able to throw them away either. He couldn't even call Emily for help, that thought alone tore through him with a vengeance, leaving him crippled to his own willpower.

He went in the house and into the kitchen, taking a glass out of the sink and filled it with water.

* * *

Anna came out of the shower and reached for her cell phone that was charging on the nightstand, seeing Danny's name appear. She had left a message for him earlier asking about Gracie's ability to babysit for her that night, so the call was expected, but what she didn't expect was his reply when she answered.

"Hi Danny."

"Are you home?!" he asked frantically.

"Yes, why? What's…"

"Is Steve's truck outside his house?"

"Danny what's going on?"

"Just look and tell me if he's home!"

She quickly came out of the bedroom and into Jenny's, looking out the window and seeing his truck parked erratically in the driveway. "Yes, his truck is there. Danny you're scaring me. What's going on?!"

He felt a sigh of relief knowing at least Anna was in close vicinity. He was racing over from Makaha, which was at least a twenty-minute drive even with his lights and siren on. "You need to go over there and check on him. I got a call from Mark one of the counselors at the rehab center." He paused feeling the hurt for his best friend, knowing without a doubt the set back and chaos this was going to cause Steve. "Emily passed away in her sleep last night."

"Oh my God," Anna whispered in shock over that, feeling the same pain for him that Danny did.

"Steve had an appointment with her and when he showed up they broke the news to him. Mark said he was clearly upset but it was the anger he saw in him that has us worried."

She looked out the window again at his truck and understood now why it was parked so haphazardly. The memory of her father rose up and washed over her, leaving her paralyzed with fear. The situation was becoming all too familiar for her. She dropped the phone and ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs, almost tripping and falling over her urgency to get to him.

She raced across the yard, not taking the time to go around the truck that was blocking the gate, but went over the fence, barely breaking stride as she did so.

She slammed into the front door and swung it open. "Steve!" she screamed out as it hit the back wall. "Steve!" she called out again, running into the kitchen first. A broken glass lay shattered on the counter.

She then came back out, looking up the stairs and seeing him sitting on the floor, slumped down in the corner of the upstairs hallway just staring down at her.

She felt a wave of relief but his expression told her he wasn't all right. She started to go up and noticed spots of blood on the steps leading up to him. She ran up the rest of the way and knelt down in front of him.

He never once took is eyes away from her.

"Steve," she began, her voice shaky as her adrenaline coursed through her. "You're bleeding. You didn't hurt yourself did you?"

He didn't respond but just held her gaze as if he was transfixed on her image before him. She felt her heart go out to him, never seeing anyone look so sad before in her entire life. She reached out and took his hand that had the blood and turned it over, seeing a small piece of glass in his lower palm, relieved that it wasn't self inflicted. She looked up at him but said nothing as his penetrating stare moved through her.

Her gentle touch was the first physical contact he'd had with her since the day he'd pinned her against the wall, demanding his pills. It was the beginning of his downfall that set him on a chain of events that led him to this spot, fearing with Emily's loss, that all was going to be lost.

"Please," she begged, moving her hand up and down over his arm, "please talk to me. Let me help you."

He'd hurt her so much yet here she was, wanting to help him. The guilt over Eric's painful disclosure from the night before was like a knife in his heart as he relived the words.

"I made you cry," his voice mirroring his expression. He bent his head, feeling more ashamed of it now than he ever had before. He couldn't look at her, feeling that he didn't have the right to.

Anna's first instinct was to tell him it was ok, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. It wasn't ok. He'd hurt her beyond words and she realized then that if there was any chance for them to move forward, she needed him to know that. She couldn't let it go unanswered.

"Yes," she replied. "You did."

Her acknowledgement of it wasn't angry or bitter like he had expected, maybe it was just as Emily had said, maybe she just needed to hear him say it. He looked up at her, never seeing her look more beautiful than she was at that moment looking at him. He took Emily's advice and invited Anna into his dysfunctional world.

"I thought about you all the time," he confessed," all the time. I even dreamt about you."

Anna smiled, "You did?"

He nodded, surprised at how easily just those few words had made her smile. "It was the only time I felt at peace. I even wrote you letters."

She scooted closer to him, pulling her legs out and siting down in a more comfortable position. "You wrote me? But I never got a letter from you."

"In my journal I wrote you letters. I confessed to you when I was scared, or when I was hurting. I could say anything I wanted and it was ok."

"Yes you can," she assured him. "Can I read them?" she asked, feeling her heart sore over just the thought of him writing something out so personal to her.

He smiled, feeling his face flush. "Yes, someday."

"I thought about you a lot too while you were gone," she confessed.

Steve huffed, feeling uneasy about that, but knowing he needed to sit there and listen to what she had to say. He owed her that more than anything else. "I can only imagine the things you thought about me."

"I admit, I had some choice words for you, but," she put a hand on his leg, "I worried about you more than anything else."

It was his turn to be shocked, "You did?"

Anna nodded, "I knew after all that was said and done that you'd punish yourself mercilessly for all of it, especially after that phone call. I was even more worried then. I hated the thought of you being alone in there with nothing but your thoughts and your guilt."

He couldn't believe after all he had done to her, and after all the horrible things he'd said to her that she still had the will to stand beside him. "I'm so sorry, Anna. I can't take back the things I did, but I need you to know that I'll never hurt you again. I want to earn your trust back, more than anything else."

"Don't lie to me ever again," she replied sternly.

He shook his head, "I won't. I promise you that." He looked down at his left hand that was still bound in a fist. He turned it over and opened it, showing her the seven pills.

She was stunned over seeing them, looking up at him.

He could see the question in her eyes even without her asking. "I didn't take any," he quickly responded. "I swear to God, Anna, I didn't take any."

"You thought about it though."

"Yes," he said to her, taking his oath he'd just promised her to heart. "I was close. I had them in my hand. I'd even given myself permission."

She was impressed by his honesty, "Why didn't you?"

"Because of you, and Jenny and Eric…and me. All I kept hearing was Emily's lecture in my head that she would say to me over and over, and in that split second of clarity I finally got it." He felt the loss of his friend begin to sink in. "I deserve to be happy."

She didn't think she would ever see him so exposed as he was right then, but then he took it a step further.

"I know I hurt you, Anna and I know what we had is damaged, maybe beyond repair, but if I took that pill then I knew all hope of ever being with you again was gone." He felt the pain in chest over the loss of Emily. "And everything that Emily and I had worked so hard on would have all been for nothing. I couldn't do that to her, especially now."

She heard the stress in his voice over the sudden death. The nurturing love for him that she had buried came flooding to the surface. "I know about Emily, Steve. I'm so sorry."

The empathy coming from her spoke volumes to him. She was exactly what he needed at that moment to pull him out of the depths of his despair. He loved her and always would, no matter what happened between them from this day on, he'd watch over her.

He lifted his hand, giving her the pills. "I was going to meet her so I could give these to her. I kept them as a reminder of what I didn't want, but she didn't like that idea." He smiled through his grief, "She was right of course. She was always right."

Anna took them from his hand and stood up going into the guest bathroom behind her. She dropped them in the toilet and flushed it, being reminded of another time she had done that, only to come and find out that he had lied and there were more hidden. She looked back at him and as if he could read her mind, he responded to her.

"That's all there is."

Unlike the last time when she had her doubts, she had none this time. She pulled a towel off the rack and went back to him, kneeling down and taking his wounded hand, setting it on her lap so she could see the piece of glass sticking out of it. She didn't bother to ask him how it had happened, it didn't matter.

She looked at him as she got a good hold on it with her fingers. He stared at her, indifferent of the approaching discomfort. He didn't care; he was too preoccupied by the woman holding his hand.

Anna pulled it out and then quickly wrapped his hand up, seeing the deep gash begin to gush blood. She contemplated whether or not he would need stitches, but let that notion go, knowing it would be a futile attempt to try and get him to a hospital now.

She began to re-wrap it to put extra pressure on the wound when she felt his other hand braise her cheek. She looked up at him as his eyes scanned her face.

He must have been out of his mind, he thought, to take for granted this angel that was caring for him. At one time he had the good fortune of being the one she loved. He came so close to having it for the rest of his life and he blew it.

"I'll make it all up to you Anna," he said to her. "I know you must have doubts about me, but if we can just start over from scratch and maybe be friends again. I'll prove to you that I'm genuine. I won't disappoint you."

He searched her eyes for her reply, holding his breath, praying that she'd say yes, but her response didn't come in words. Instead she moved up next to him and rested her head just below his shoulder as his arm went around her waist, pulling her in closer. He breathed her in feeling like he'd been given a second chance at life, and this time around he was going to treat it exactly as it was, priceless.

Anna could feel his heart beat, missing that sound from when she would lay with him in bed after making love. She held still and just enjoyed this moment with him, praying he would come through with his promises, because her only fear at the moment was that her love for him was greater now than it ever had been.

Danny came in the house minutes later through the open front door. His attention was immediately drawn to the area at the top of the stairs, seeing them together as they were. Neither one moved or even acknowledged that they heard him. They both seemed content in their position.

He smiled and slowly but quietly backed out the door.


	29. Chapter 29

Danny looked over at Steve in the driver's seat as they sat in the truck waiting in line at the lumberyard to pick up a load of plywood. He stared straight ahead out the windshield but didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular, his mind however seemed to be a million miles away.

"So how's it been going with the new counselor they assigned you?" Danny asked him.

Steve shrugged slightly, "It's not Emily. I like Mark…it's just not the same."

Danny shifted in his seat to see him better, "You're doing ok though right? I mean that was a huge blow to your recovery."

Steve looked over at him. "I'm doing fine."

Danny hoped that was true. He'd been worried about him since the funeral. It was hard on everyone who attended, which was a couple of hundred people, but the only one that he was focused on during the sad ordeal was Steve. Anna was with them which he felt was a blessing, but he still worried that this would be a set back for him. Emily had been more than just a counselor, she had been one of the few people in his life that he relied on for strength, even though they had only known each other a short time, she had made breakthroughs into his emotional thinking where no one else had even come close.

It didn't sound like this Mark guy had the same influence over him, hoping that Anna could maybe pick up where Emily had left off. He wasn't even above doing some of his own counseling if need be, such as at the moment. Why not, he thought, they weren't going anywhere sitting in line waiting to pick up wood.

A Hurricane was headed toward Oahu and everyone and their brother were in line to get wood to board up their windows. He and Steve were actually lucky, they knew of the impending storm before the media let out the word, so their needed quantity was a guarantee, were as the line behind them stretched out for a almost a mile.

"How's Anna doing?"

Steve glanced over at him. "Fine."

"Have you seen her since the funeral?"

"She lives next door to me and the funeral was six days ago, of course I've seen her since then." He put the truck in gear and moved forward a car length, and then put it back in park.

"What does she think about Mark? Do you talk to her about stuff like that?"

Steve looked over at him again only this time his expression was a cross between confused and irritated. "Do I talk to her about what stuff?"

"You know, the stuff you talk to Mark about. The stuff you used to talk about with Emily."

"What are you getting at Danny?"

"Nothing! I'm just asking a question? I want to make sure you're covered is all."

"I'm covered?" he asked irritably "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Am I on the verge of a relapse? Is that what you're asking?"

"No! Of course not…" he raised one eyebrow in question. "Are you?"

"Jesus Danny! Did I do something or say something to give you that impression, or are you just the Gestapo watching my every move for a slip up?"

"Calm down!" Danny blasted back. "Don't get your panties all in a bunch. What's wrong with me being a little concerned?" he pointed to his chest, "I'm not allowed to be a little concerned about you? Or are you going to tell me to go fuck myself?"

Steve glared at him for even bringing that up.

"All right bad choice of words, I apologize for that. But I was just asking a question."

"What is it with all of these questions anyway?"

"I told you, I'm concerned. After what you went through in rehab and now Emily, it just has me a little worried."

"Then just say that, don't sneak around the subject by trying to pull answers out of me. Just say, '_hey Steve I'm a little concerned, how are things going with ya?_'"

Danny busted out laughing, "Are you serious with that?"

"Yes, I am."

"I have to beat around the bush because your stock answer is always, '_Fine. Fine. I'm fine. I'm Steve, I'm just fine_.'"

"Oh will you get off it. You exaggerate so much."

"Oh, I exaggerate?"

"Yes you exaggerate."

"Ok," Danny said firmly, looking him dead on. "Tell me why you kept those pills in the house, because I don't get it?"

Steve's hands slid off the steering wheel into his lap as he stared down at them. He knew what Danny was so concerned about now and also knew he owed him an explanation not an excuse. "Its hard to explain Danny. I knew they were there and I wanted them there. They kept me strong. I felt like they kept me in line." He looked over at him. "But I was wrong. The first sign of weakness and I went running to them. Emily knew it would happen too. When she found out I had them she was pretty mad. That's why I was going to see her that day. She wanted them."

Danny listened closely to what he had to say; glad that Steve had given him the true reasoning and not one that was half ass. "I can see you doing that. I can see you wanting to test yourself too. You love that. You love challenging yourself, but sometimes it not a challenge worth taking. I agree with Emily, but I understand why you did it. There isn't anymore is there?"

Steve shook his head. "No. I gave them all to Anna. She flushed them."

He nodded, believing him. "Good. Speaking of Anna. How has the 'friendship'," he used his fingers as quotations, "thing going?"

Steve couldn't help himself, he grinned over at him, giving him the standard smart-ass reply. "Fine. Fine. Everything's just fine."

"Keep it up," Danny warned, "and you can put these boards up on your windows by yourself."

"I don't need you for my house. I can do those. I need you to help me with Anna's house. She has those second story windows that I can't do alone."

Danny shifted in his seat, "We're doing Anna's windows too?"

"Yes of course. There's a Hurricane coming Danny and she has windows that face the ocean, what do you think, she and Eric are going to do it, or better yet would you like to sit in the front yard and have a beer and watch she and Jenny do it? You've lived in Hawaii long enough to know you help out your neighbor."

Danny busted up laughing again, only this time it was deep and from the gut.

"What's so funny?"

"You man," he replied, holding his gut, "you're going to honestly sit there and tell me you are doing this to be neighborly?"

"Yes!"

He laughed again. "Please! The only reason you are doing this is to get in with her good graces so you might be able to get back in her bed. Tell me I'm wrong?"

Steve went to object and then stopped, rethinking his wording.

"Tell me I'm wrong?" Danny asked again, grinning over at him.

"Ok," Steve caved, "I wouldn't say you are entirely wrong but you are way off by comparison to my choice of why I'm doing it."

"Yea, like maybe ninety nine to one," Danny chuckled.

"Come on Danny, you know why I'm doing it," Steve said to him, moving up in line again.

Danny reached over and playfully smacked him on the shoulder. "I know, I'm just yanking your chain."

"You're the one that's going to be the cause of my relapse," Steve joked.

Danny leaned forward looking out the windshield at the sky, "Don't blame me for your one imperfection."

"Why do you keep looking at the sky like it's about to turn into the Wizard of Oz?"

"A hurricane is coming. Aren't you just a little bit nervous about that?"

"It's a hundred and fifty miles off the coast and it's only a category one. It hasn't been upgraded."

"Yet," he declared nervously, "It hasn't been upgraded yet."

"You grew up in Jersey. Didn't you ever experience hurricanes?"

Danny sat back as they moved up again, only one car behind the leader now. "Yes, but living on the mainland at least you had the choice to go somewhere else…inland. Being on an island kind of makes that choice obsolete."

"The winds are only about seventy-five miles per hour and besides that, where you live you'll barely feel it. It's coming from the South East and moving North West. It's predicted to hit down by Waimanalo Beach and Kailua, you'll be protected from the Kualoa Mountains." He blew out a breath, "On the other hand Anna's house and my house…" he was cut short by the employee who came to his window. "We'll take twelve sheets," Steve said to him, handing him his credit card.

"Only twelve?" Danny asked. "That won't cover all your windows and Anna's too."

"I'm only getting enough for the ocean side. I don't want to be greedy; there won't be enough to go around. The other windows should be fine."

"That's neighborly of you."

Steve signed the receipt and handed the copy back to him as they loaded the bed of his truck and closed the tailgate, hitting it twice to let him know he was done.

* * *

Steve came out of the garage wearing an old pair of Levis and a dark blue tank top. He had a work belt around his waist that contained a hammer, two boxes of nails and a measuring tape. He carried a stepladder in one hand and his jig saw in the other one.

Danny slid the particleboards out of the truck onto the ground as Steve walked toward him, teasing him on his appearance. "You look like an episode of Home Improvement."

Steve held up the saw and made the signature Tim Taylor gorilla grunt. He set down the items and reached in his back pocket, taking out an extra pair of gloves, tossing them to Danny. "You about done unloading that yet girlfriend," he grinned, slipping on a pair himself, "because that storm is moving faster than you are."

"Keep it up," Danny warned, "and you'll be swinging from the roof when I nail your ass to the house instead of the boards."

Steve laughed and bent over picking the tools back up, "Grab a couple of those pieces of wood and we'll do Anna's house first."

Anna heard the saw first and then heard the pounding on the side of the house. She knew it was Steve and Danny not only because Steve had already told her he was going to board up her windows from the oncoming storm, but also because she could hear them laughing, which made her smile too. The two of them together sometimes were funnier than a comedy act, she thought amusingly.

She came up the stairs with a basket of folded clothes and two cold beers on top. She went by Jenny's room first seeing that it was already boarded up and then came into hers next. She set the basket down on the bed and took the two bottles going to her window and sliding it open, seeing the ladder positioned below it and the two of them cutting a piece of wood. She slipped the screen off and leaned out with the drinks.

"Did someone order a beer at this job site?"

They both looked up but it was Danny's hand that went up first. "Me!" he replied grinning.

Steve just smiled up at her, picking up the cut piece of board and going up the ladder with it.

She enjoyed the view as he climbed up, watching his muscles flex as he lifted the board and set it on the small shelf of the ladder. A light breeze blew in the window bringing with it his masculine scent that reminded her of times when their love making would get overly heated. The sweat on his body was just as intoxicating now as it was then.

"Hi," she smiled, kneeling down on the floor, "thirsty?" It suddenly dawned on her that maybe he wasn't allowed alcohol after being in rehab. She bit her bottom lip, hoping she hadn't made a grave error by offering it to him. "I'm sorry Steve. I wasn't thinking. You probably aren't supposed to have this, are you?"

"I'm not an alcoholic, Anna," he smiled, assuring it was ok. "I can have a beer." He could sense her uneasiness over the mistake and tried to lighten the moment by teasing her a little.

He leaned in and whispered to her. "Remember the last time we met at this window? I was climbing out."

"Yes, I remember." Anna blushed, knowing she would never forget that morning as long as she lived. "You jumped out is more like it."

He wished he could lean in and kiss her like he had that day. She looked even more beautiful now than she did then, only because he loved her more now. She was flawless in his eyes, absolutely flawless.

He took the beers from her and dropped them down to Danny one by one.

"Would it offend you," Anna teased him back, "if I got a chair and just sat out in the yard and just watched you climb up and down this ladder and nail boards into the wall."

"You like to watch me work hard, huh," he grinned.

"I find it quite pleasing to the eye to watch you work hard."

It was her turn to see him blush slightly over the compliment.

Just the thought of her seeing him in that way was better than any compliment anyone could have bestowed upon him at that second. He was positively thrilled over it.

"Mr. McGarrett," Anna continued, enjoying his embarrassment, "I don't think I've ever seen you blush before." His boyish charm was oozing with sex appeal, wishing she could pull him through the window and run her hands over that body that had strength and stamina that could leave her sedated for hours.

Steve smiled at her, "I'd love to stand here all day and enjoy this stunning view, but there's a big storm coming."

Anna held his gaze for a few seconds longer; a sly smile leisurely emerged on her moistened lips. "Yes, there certainly is a storm coming. I can feel the electricity in the air. Can you feel it Steve? To be quite honest," she purred, "I'm looking forward to it. How about you?"

Her voice was as smooth and slick as the line that screamed with sexual innuendos, hitting him with everything she physically had to offer as she stood up and slowly walked out of the room. She could feel his eyes upon her, making her feel warm all over just like he used to.

His mind instantly recalled two very specific times sexually, in which he literally felt he might black out from the pleasure of being with her. He felt the ladder shake from the tremor that rippled through him. His right foot stumbled off the step as he gripped the edge of the windowsill, barely catching himself before he fell. He mumbled something incoherent as he continued to stare at the space she had just vacated, eager and more than willing to hold this position for days if he had to until she would appear again.

"Hey," Danny yelled from down below, completely innocent of the conversation that had taken place. "Hey!" he said again when Steve didn't move.

He hesitantly looked down at him.

"Are you going to hang that or what?"

Steve ignored him and focused back on the spot where Anna had left the room, feeling a slight pain of disappointment over her absence. He felt the ladder shake again and knew it was Danny this time, stirring him out of his fantasy. "Ok! Ok," he said, lifting up the board and giving one more quick and hopeful glance inside the room before he covered the window up. He could feel a bead of sweat slide down the side of his face, but it wasn't from the physical labor, it was from the mental one that Anna had him working hard on.

She stood just outside the bedroom door leaning back against the wall, smiling and blushing. She couldn't believe she had just said that to him, not knowing what had come over her, maybe it was the storm in the air, she thought and then laughed because she knew damn well it was because he looked so incredibly sexy standing there on that ladder, looking at her the way he was. He had often compelled her to step outside of her shell; she shouldn't have been so surprised, it just hadn't happened in a while. But when all was said and done she couldn't have been more pleased over his reaction or the way they had been progressing over the past week since his semi breakdown that she walked him through. They weren't quite back to where they had once been but it felt good where it was going so far. He played around with her, but she still could feel that hesitation from him, almost as if he were still unworthy of the relationship. She hoped that wasn't it, because she felt none of the anger she had. She also didn't want to rush him; they had all the time in the world.

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"No!" Steve said adamantly. "No way. You go to Danny's with the kids and I'll stay her and watch the houses."

"It's ridiculous," Anna replied, "and not to mention dangerous for you to stay here alone during that storm."

"It's only a category one," Steve laughed, "I've been through rain storms in the jungle that were worst than what's coming here. I'll be fine."

Anna crossed her arms, "Then I'm staying too."

"No you're not. You're going to Danny's."

"I don't understand why you are staying behind?"

Steve looked at Danny for help.

"Yea, why are you staying?" Danny asked, finding himself beginning to agree with Anna.

"Because it's my Dad's house and I'm not leaving it behind to get trashed if something happens, not to mention it's sad to say but there are low life's that come out during times like this and ransack people's homes who evacuate. I'm not going to take that chance."

Anna hadn't thought of that. "Ok. I'm staying too then."

"No," Danny volunteered, "I'll stay with him."

"No," Anna objected. "I think a man should be with the kids. I think it will make them feel more secure. I know Jenny will feel better with you there rather than me."

Danny raised his hands in defeat, "She's got a good point there."

"Anna," Steve whined, "just please listen to me."

"We're going to need flashlights incase the lights go out," she said, ignoring him. "I have a couple in the garage that I bought Eric, and a lantern too."

"You might want to start stocking up on ice in an ice chest too," Danny suggested. "I remember my Mom doing that before a big storm."

"Good thinking Danny," Anna replied, "I can keep it in garbage bags in the freezer."

"Stop right now," Steve butted in, giving Danny the stink eye for encouraging her.

"Don't say it," Anna replied firmly. "I'm staying. We can either ride out this storm together or you can do it at your house and I can do it at mine, but you are not doing it alone."

He forwent the rest of his plea because he knew by the stubborn look on her face that she wasn't going to budge anymore than he had planned to. He'd let her win this one.

He wasn't so concerned for her safety as much as he was being alone with her for what could be a couple of days if things got messy outside. They had been getting along well but he'd kept his distance for reasons that he couldn't quite put a finger on at the moment, but he just felt the need to keep her at arms length. It was times like this that he missed Emily the most. She could put a reason behind his madness; there was no doubt in his mind about that. He was beginning to think he was mad for keeping his distance because there wasn't a minute in his day that went by that Anna wasn't with him. He thought about her constantly.

"Ok," Steve said calmly. "I guess it's a date."

Anna liked the sound of that. Some quiet time with him was another reason she was pushing for it.

* * *

Jenny pulled her Little Mermaid suitcase behind her by the handle while Eric had his backpack full of the things he needed.

"Do you think Gracie will let me sleep in her room with her?" Jenny asked Danny, hopeful as they walked to his car.

"Are you kidding? She has a spot made up for you already." He reached over and gently shoved Eric. "You're stuck hanging with me dude."

Eric shrugged but smiled, pleased with that. He liked Danny almost as much as he liked Steve. Hanging out with him was like hanging out with your favorite uncle. "That's ok. We can watch scary movies. I downloaded a couple on Anna's laptop."

They stopped at the back of the Camaro as Danny put their stuff in the trunk.

"Listen up you two," Anna began her routine lecture, "I'm not going to tell you to behave because I know you will, but make sure you clean up after yourself and the same rules apply there as they do here, understood?"

Jenny and Eric looked at each other and then up at Danny and smiled, because they all three knew the rules changed at Danny's house, but Anna didn't have to know that.

"Ok." They both agreed.

Anna looked at Steve and rolled her eyes. "That was a waste of time wasn't it?"

"Pretty much," he grinned at her, knowing the rule game because it worked the same way when he had Gracie.

"All right," she sighed, "Just…have fun and be safe."

Jenny hugged Anna tightly, knowing a storm was coming but not feeling any fear over it. She was more excited about going and spending two days with Gracie. They had all played it down in she and Eric's presence so as not to scare them.

I love you," Jenny told her.

"I love you too, Jenny," she replied, never taking those words for granted.

Steve pulled Eric aside, putting a hand on his shoulder as he leaned over, face to face with him. "Hey, keep an eye on Jenny for me and help out Danny. There might be a chance the lights go out, but's that's normal during a storm like this. I have a two way radio here at the house and Danny has one the other one, if either of you want to talk to us you can."

Eric nodded his understanding.

Steve stood back up and patted his shoulder as a way of saying goodbye, but he was shocked when Eric put his arms around his waist and hugged him. "You keep an eye on Anna too, all right?" he said, but it more as an order than a request, looking up at him.

He put a hand on his head, more than pleased over the hug. "I will, I promise."

Jenny hugged him next, squeezing him tightly. "I love you too," she said to him for the first time, looking up at him for a response.

He felt his heart might melt out of his chest over the sweetest words he'd ever heard spoken from the purest soul he'd ever encountered. "I love you too, sweetheart."

Danny closed the passenger side door and grinned at Steve as he walked by him. "Have fun," he whispered, "don't forget about the storm coming." He didn't bother to look at the annoyed look on his partners face; he knew it was there. "You kids have fun and don't get in any trouble now." He winked at Anna before he got in the car.

They stood in the driveway as a breeze blew in from the back of the house, moving the trees above their head. It had been getting steadily windier as the hour passed.

Anna looked over at him, as they stood there alone. '_Now what?_' she thought, feeling the awkwardness cut through the air, hating it. It had been the first time they had actually been alone since the day at his house. Once again she could see the apprehension all over him. He solidified it with his quick departure.

"I'm going to make sure everything is locked down behind my house."

"Do you want some help?"

"No," he replied just a little too quickly. "No, I got it. Weren't you going to get some ice chests filled or something?"

"Yes." She turned and walked toward her house, not knowing what she had done to him to make him want to be anywhere but next to her. She couldn't figure him out. The flirting at the window the day before was amusing, but now she realized he was safe on the other side, and Danny was there as a buffer.

"Anna," he called out.

She turned hoping she would hear a change of heart for her help.

"Just yell if you need anything, ok?"

She turned back around disappointed and started walking home. "Yep."

Steve watched her go, feeling that tug at his heart going in two directions, one was leaning toward her and the other was pulling him away.

'_Talk to her_, _just talk to her._'

He could hear Emily's voice in his head just as clearly as if she were standing next to him. He should have listened to it, but instead he watched her go in the house and close the door.

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The wind whipped the bushes that lined Steve's backyard. The flowers were all but gone already, having been torn from their stems as the steady breeze grew into the hurricane that hit the island earlier than expected. It picked up strength and speed over the warm Pacific as it entered the warm, tropical waters. The boards that covered the windows and doors on Steve's house barely moved against the eighty-mile an hour gusts, having been properly secured.

Inside his darkened room he laid on the bed, sound asleep with a towel wrapped around his waist. His legs hung over the side. He was in the same position he had been two hours earlier when he decided to lay down for a just second and rest after taking a lukewarm shower to rinse off.

The air was humid do to the approaching storm and after coming off the roof from nailing down some loose shingles he was dripping with sweat. He closed his eyes and was thinking about Anna as he drifted off.

I strong gust swirled in and snapped a weak branch off the tree down by the water, sending it hurdling through the air as it landed on the roof with a thud, before being blown over and landing in the front yard and coming to rest against the fence.

Steve opened his eyes and felt a little disoriented at first in the dark. It was only two o'clock in the afternoon but the sun had disappeared and with the boards over the windows and French doors to his lanai, it was almost pitch black in his room.

He sat up hearing the wind and reached over turning on the light on the nightstand. He saw the time and bolted out of bed, holding the towel in place around his waist. "Shit!"

He came out of the bedroom and down the first two steps of the stairs and bent over seeing the wind in the front of the house whipping the trees back and forth. He jetted back up and quickly put on some shorts and a t-shirt.

Anna stood in the laundry room of her house with her hand over her pounding heart. She knew it was going to be a big storm but wasn't expecting anything like this. It had barely begun and she was already frightened. She had tried calling Steve several times only to get dropped calls, knowing the lines were either down, or bogged down by everyone using them at once. She had even contemplated running over to his house, but the wind was so strong that once she stepped outside she was almost blown over by a gust and was even more frightened of the debris that had already begun to gather.

She heard the front door open and then slam shut. The noise startled her at first thinking the house was coming apart, until she heard her name being called.

"Anna!" Steve yelled out.

She was relieved and furious with him all at the same time. She came out the laundry room and through the kitchen, meeting him in the hallway.

He knew she'd be safe, but it was her frightened expression that pained him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he apologized quickly, putting his arms around her as she did the same, wrapping them around his chest.

"Where have you been," she shuttered, "I was so worried! I tried calling but the lines are already down and the wind…"

"I'm sorry. I fell asleep on the bed after taking a shower."

Anna leaned back looking at him, "You fell asleep?!" She stepped back, giving him a soft, yet firm punch in the arm. "How could you fall asleep?" she pointed toward nowhere in particular. "There is a hurricane out there! I was worried about you! I was about to call Danny!" She shoved him again; partly amused over his excuse because she was relieved he was safe and partly amused over the fact that he could sleep through a storm like this, beginning to think maybe she was over exaggerating her fear level.

He held his hands up. "It was hot and humid and I was tired. I just closed my eyes for a second."

Anna smiled, feeling her fear vanish now that he was there. "You are the only person I know that could sleep through a hurricane."

He was pleased over the quick change in her emotions. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she nodded. "It wasn't supposed to get here for like another hour. The news said it gained strength over the Pacific."

"You should have the news on," he suggested over the silence in the house.

"Cables out," she replied. "I'm surprised the electricity is still on."

Another gust rattled the wood over the windows upstairs as Anna reversed that earlier step away from him back toward him now.

He put an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "It's ok. We'll be fine," he said calmly, wishing now he would have been firmer with her about going to Danny's, but then again she felt pretty good where she was at the moment, leaning up against him for protection. He liked the idea that she was worried about him too, but even more so that she was at ease because of his presence.

"Has the water risen at all?" Anna asked.

"No, not too much. The surge is only supposed to be a couple of feet or so and mainly on the Windward side of the island. It shouldn't affect your house at all, and my house might get some water under the deck, but I don't think we have to worry about it. He heard another gust and looked up toward the ceiling at the upstairs. The wind was his concern. It was already rattling the boards on the windows and the strongest part hadn't even come yet.

Anna looked at his face, seeing it on him. "Are you worried about the wind?"

He smiled at her, "No."

"Liar," she sighed. "What did I tell you about lying to me Commander?"

He tilted his head, "Ok then, yes," he joked, "I'm worried about the wind lifting the house off its foundation and setting it on top of Koko Head. Is that what you want to hear?"

Anna rolled her eyes, knowing he was lying to her only to keep her fear at bay. That kind of lie she could tolerate. "Are you hungry? I can make you something while we still have electricity."

"I'm starving." He was glad she let it go. He had lied to her but there was no reason to get her all anxious and scared, especially since the way he had found her. He didn't consider it in the same category of the lies he promised her he would never tell again.

He felt that all to familiar stab of pain over his past actions, realizing where he was standing at the moment was the place where it had come full circle, looking down the hallway and seeing the spot where he had pinned her against the wall, squeezing her wrist until she dropped his pills.

It was hard to imagine and even harder to believe that it was actually him that did it. If anyone else had ever touched her like that he would have leveled them.

He looked back toward the kitchen at her. It was surreal to think about those moments now when he had fought her so hard just to be able to feel something that only existed through a pill, when she could do the same thing for him. How did he ever get to that place in his life? Over confidence, he thought? Arrogance perhaps? Or was he just weak and not at all the mentally strong person that he thought he was. The question that scared him the most was, could it happen again? His first reaction was no. Hell no! But he never saw the other one coming either.

He and Emily had talked about relapses and the significance of recognizing the dangerous scenarios that could put him in front of the line of fire. Arrogance was one of them. He remembered her telling him that he was an addict to Morphine and any other kind of pain medication, plain and simple, and not to ever think for one second that he could overcome the temptation of taking even one pill. He also recalled her terrifying words that detox was even more difficult to overcome a second time around because of the deep guilt that went with it, and for him that was like a death sentence. She also warned that if it happens once, it will more than likely repeat three maybe four times. It was those words that had pulled him out of the darkness on the day of her death. She had spoken to him as he stood at the kitchen sink with his glass of water in one hand and the pills in the other. He was right there, standing on that ledge ready to take the plunge when the glass suddenly shattered in his hand. He still had no rhyme or reason for it happening.

He turned his palm over, looking at the cut where Anna had removed the glass from his hand. It was healing well but it was also a scar that he looked upon now as not a reminder of his close relapse but of Emily's words telling him strength comes in numbers and by numbers she meant people.

He came in the kitchen and looked at Anna as she stood at the counter making him something to eat. This house had taken on so many characters for him over the years, but at this second even with a hurricane at the backdoor, he felt blessed for being there. He thought of his journal and all the things he had said to her on paper because he was too afraid to say to her face. He was given a second chance; she had given him a second chance. He had someone that loved him in spite of all his flaws and imperfections that he considered fatal in a relationship. Anna on the other hand embraced them. He never felt more like himself than he did when he was with her. She expected nothing more from him than the truth, nothing. If he loved her, and he did, then he had to trust her with those imperfections that he kept hidden.

He didn't know if the timing was right but felt compelled to tell her what he felt she needed to hear from him, an apology.

He stood next to her as she melted some butter in a pan to cook the cheese sandwiches that were sitting on the counter.

She smiled at him, "I thought grilled cheese and tomato soup would be the perfect storm food."

He didn't reply over her comment of the food, too pre occupied by his thoughts over her being there that day for him as he sat at the top of the stairs, literally too frightened to even move. Her coming into his house that day was nothing short of a miracle in his eyes.

"Anna," he said softly as she set one of the sandwiches in the pan.

"What?" she glanced up at him for just a second and then back at the pan, but in that split second she saw something and quickly looked back up at him again, seeing it more clearly as he stared her.

He took her left hand that he'd pinned against the wall and turned it over, gently gliding his fingers over the spot on her wrist. He brought it up to his mouth and kissed it, looking across at her as he did so.

She heard nothing of the outside storm that blew havoc on the house, because on the inside her world suddenly became very calm and very surreal. She finally recognized the man standing in front of her as the one she had missed so much her heart would just ache for him. The one she would lie close to at night and feel his body wrapped around her, protecting her from everything.

"I'll never put my hands on you again out of anger," he said to her. "I'm sorry I hurt you that day. It'll follow me until the day I die."

He hadn't physically hurt her that day even though he thought he might have. She didn't want to take away from his apology by playing it down, because to her the mental anguish it put on her was just as devastating as the physical contact. "It scared me," she confessed to him, needing him to hear her and to know what it really had done to her. "I never thought I'd ever be afraid of you."

Those words were crushing to him and it showed, but he listened and let her say her peace.

Anna pushed the pan off the heat and turned, facing him straight on, seeing the anguish on him over what she had just said. "Listen to me. That's all I ever wanted was for you to listen to me and hear me, and now you have. I forgive you for that day because I know how sorry you are. How sorry you are for all of it. I know that now." She slowly pulled her hand away that he was holding. "I don't want to be friends anymore Steve."

Her words kept cutting deeper and deeper into his heart until she laid out her real agenda of what she wanted.

"We can't move on if you're going to let this thing that happened hang over your head. You're not that person anymore. You wouldn't be in my house right now if I thought there was even a slight chance that you could ever hurt me. I want to be more than friends with you. I want you back in my life. I want you back in my bed. I want you back."

He felt that euphoric rush sweep through him that only Anna could inspire. She somehow knew exactly what he needed to hear. It was why he had been holding back, it wasn't the need to forgive himself or even the need for Anna's forgiveness; it was the permission to move forward without fearing the past. He could leave it behind him; she was giving him that right. It was a freedom that he couldn't even express into words.

He missed her. He missed these quiet intimate moments when it was just the two of them. He missed the feel of her soft naked body next to him in bed. He missed the feel of her hands when she would lie on his shoulder and caress them over him. But mostly, he missed the intimacy that could make his heart want to jump out of his chest.

She gripped the handle of the oven as he leaned in to her. His eyes softened and she could see the blue in them as if they were changing color with his mood right before her. She closed her eyes and waited for it, feeling her body tremble just over the anticipation of a kiss from him.

Not one part of their bodies was touching until his lips touched hers. She rose up on her toes to get closer to him as they fell right back into that place where fate was waiting, pulling them back together.

Anna felt his hand slide behind her neck as he gently held her, taking his time with her, savoring this moment that he thought would never come again.

She followed his lead as he broke from her just long enough to get a look at her beautiful face before he kissed her again.

Her body pressed up against him as he felt her grab a handful of his shirt and pull him closer. It was one of her signature moves that used to drive him mad, as it did now, hoping it would be lifted over his head. It was her way of undressing him and initiating sex that was an innocent seduction, which could bring him to his knees. If she did it now, he thought, there wasn't going to be any hurricane strong enough to stop him from following through with her wish.

Anna could feel the humidity from the storm and mixed with the heat between them they both began to sweat. Her hand slid down from behind his neck and moved over his chest, slipping both her hands under his shirt and moving them up as the material gathered around her wrists. He broke free from her lips and lifted his arms while she removed the cumbersome piece of clothing, feeling dazed at the muscular sight of him before her. She missed this body so much.

He tossed the shirt aside and used that strength to lift her up, taking her out of the kitchen toward the hallway as she wrapped her legs around his waist and took free rein of his lips as she squeezed her legs together and kissed him again.

He moaned as if he were in agony and had to stop or he might collapse right there from the sheer pleasure of it. He pushed her up against the wall of the hallway, slowly sliding down it with her still attached to him, until he laid her out flat on the wood floor.

She lifted her arms over her head as he pulled her shirt up and over, tucking it under her head using it and his arm for her pillow, looking at her as he moved his hand down her body and over her soft breasts until he was at the tie of her shorts, pulling the bow apart.

She wanted him more now than she ever had. His hands on her body were warm and gentle making her impatient for the feel of him inside her once again, loving the sensation of that first few seconds that could take her breath away.

She reached down and helped the effort of removing hers and then his clothes.

She lay beneath him naked as he settled down on her in the same way, looking at each other and taking in the moment, each one experiencing their own little piece of heaven. The only storm they witnessed at the moment was the one brewing between them.

"I love you," Anna whispered to him as a tear slid out of the corner of her eye and dripped on his arm that she rested on.

He rested his cheek against her, whispering back to her. "You will never question those words again, Anna, ever." He faced her again, looking into her. "I love you too."

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him, using his body as leverage as she lifted her hips off the ground and caressed over him until they found that sweet spot and he slid into her.

She laid her head back and gasped over the feelings that erupted inside of her. It had never felt so good before as her body surrounded him, nurturing him.

He had to literally hold back from climaxing in the first ten seconds she felt so amazing, but he couldn't hold back from wanting to make her feel good either, pushing into her over and over as she cried out, saying his name in a way that only encouraged his motives, knowing what she liked as all his energy went into pleasing her.

She braced her hand on the wall as he kept the most incredible pace, neither one caring about the hard floor beneath them, they could have been lying on a bed of nails; nothing was going to break them apart.

Anna shuttered as he rose above her, staring down at her as his pace slowed. He looked beautiful as he made love to her.

"Kiss me, " she said to him in a low, sexy voice as her hands glided up his arms. "Kiss me, Steve."

He would never deny her anything.

She tasted so sweet; he swore he could live off her kisses alone. He felt her hands slide over his back and grip onto his hips as she took over the motion, pushing into him. A low growl escaped his throat as he moved with her until he couldn't take it anymore and broke from the kiss just to catch his breath.

He faced her again, his voice faint yet rough, feeling overcome by the amazing wave of emotions brought on by being inside of her again. "You feel so good."

She smiled as her hands moved over him slowly, capturing every detail of his sculptured body.

He slid his arm under her neck for comfort. "Are you ok?" he asked of the hard wood floor.

She wrapped her legs around him. "Don't stop," she said almost laughing. "Don't you dare stop!"

He smiled back at her, picking up the pace again as she held tightly on to him. "Did you miss me, Anna?"

"I did."

She gasped as he pushed deeper into her over that reply, repeating it for his benefit and for hers. "I missed you…so much." She felt all his muscles flex as he reacted enthusiastically to her words.

"Say it again," he demanded.

"I missed…" she moaned as he thrust even deeper, "so much!"

"Again," he begged.

She held tightly around his neck, looking up at him. "I love you."

Those three little words did it, spoken from her heart. He breathed in the air she used to say them and saw it all over her beautiful face as she looked at him. The love he felt for her catapulted him to the next level, slamming into him like bolt of lightening, hitting every nerve in his body as it raced though him.

Anna dug her nails in his back as he held her so close the friction between them could have lit a fire. She finished just seconds before him as the moment slowed and they were left with the aftermath of what would be come known in the future of their sex life as, 'the one'.

Her fingertips eased out of his skin and slowly began to caress over his back that convulsed over the slightest touch, his body still reeling over what she had done to him.

It wasn't until that moment that they both heard the wind howling outside as the storm reached its full potential.

* * *

Anna stood up, pulling her shorts on and tied them. She looked across at him and smiled as he did the same. She bent over and picked up her shirt but when she stood back up he put an arm around her waist and pulled her up close to him.

"I love you," he said to her.

"I love you too," she replied happily.

"I want you again," he added, kissing her neck

"Now," she giggled. "So soon?"

"Yes."

She leaned back and kissed him, not taking his request as anything but to heart.

The kiss was interrupted by the wind blowing something violently into the side of the house.

"Holy shit!" Steve said, instinctively pulling her behind him out of harms way.

"What was that?" Anna said, hiding behind him in the hallway as if the whole house might come down.

"I think we better start taking this storm seriously," he said to her. "You need to stop seducing me and let me do what I stayed behind to do."

"What?!" She moved around in front of him, seeing his teasing grin. "That's what I thought," she smiled. "Me seducing you," she snickered. "We both know who the culprit was so don't blame it on me."

Steve laughed, "Are you serious? It wasn't me. It was you and you know it."

Anna put a hand over her heart in shock. "Come on! You kissed me first."

He gave her a stern look, "You took my shirt off. You know that is the same as saying '_yes Steve, I want to have sex with you_.'"

Anna opened her mouth to argue and then shut it, pursing her lips together to hold back from smiling. She knew damn well he was right on the money with that.

"See!" he pointed at her. "You know I'm right."

She ran her hand over his bare chest. "I couldn't help myself."

He went to kiss her again when the object against the house moved.

"Damn it," he said, going past her into the kitchen, "I need to see what that is."

Anna followed behind him seeing the wind whip the tree in the backyard that she had fallen out of and broke her arm. The small window above the sink as well as the back door was about the only openings in the house that weren't boarded up. "You are not going out there," she said in calm yet very firm voice.

Steve picked his shirt up off the floor. "I'll just be a minute."

Anna stood in front of the door. "I'm not joking. You are not going out there."

He slipped his shirt on ignoring her plea, taking it only as a term of endearment. "What did I do with my shoes?" He bent over, scanning the floor and then remembered he shuffled them off in the hallway with his clothes, smiling at her over the memory of it as he went by her. "Oh yea. They're in the hallway where you seduced me."

Anna watched him pick them up and then pull a chair out and sat down, slipping them on. He hadn't heard a word she'd said. No, she thought angrily. He just plain and simply hadn't listened to her. "You're not going out there in this," she said again.

He finished tying them and stood up, "I'll just be a minute. I promise."

Anna put a hand on his chest as he went to reach for the door. "Are you fucking kidding me," she roared. "After everything that just happened and everything we said and five minutes later you're back to the same ole shit!"

He was startled by her outburst, seeing now that she was serious. "What?"

"You're not listing to me! You're not going out there with stuff flying around!"

"Whatever is up against the house could do some serious damage," he tried to explain.

"It could do serious damage to you!"

"Anna," he chuckled. "I'll be…"

"Stop laughing," she shouted as tears began to form over her fear and frustration with him. "It's not funny! Who cares what is out there! It's just a fucking house. I can build a new one." She gulped in air as he stared at her in utter shock over her tantrum. "I can't build a new you," she cried. "I can't lose you again! Please…" she begged as she began to cry openly, "Please don't go out there, Steve. Please."

"Ok, ok," he replied quickly, surrendering to her without another word of going outside. He put his arms around her, "I won't. I'll stay inside." He was stunned over her fear, realizing what his absence from her life had really meant to her. It was a good feeling but it was also an eye opener. He needed to be more diligent in his actions from then on. "I'm sorry Anna. You're right. I'm sorry honey."

She held on to him tightly, feeling his hands stroking her back as if trying to calm her. She began to feel again that she might have over exaggerated but her fear of losing him again was real and it was scary. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have yelled…" she began when he took her by both arms and leaned her back so he could see her.

"Stop. Don't apologize, and don't let me get away with shit like that if you don't like it."

"I was just worried," she glanced at the window as the wind continued to howl outside. "I just got scared for you."

"Look at me Anna," he said to her.

As she did the lights finally went out. They both looked around the kitchen as the room darkened, barely able to see one another even though it was still late afternoon.

Steve didn't let this small set back stop him from what he wanted to say to her. "Hey," he got her attention once again. "I'm sorry. I need to start stepping back and seeing things from the other side, from your eyes. I'll try harder."

Those words were not what she was seeking from him at all. She didn't want him to feel like he had to watch his every move, and be afraid he might disappoint her.

"No, that's not the answer. I don't want you walking on egg shells around me," she cupped his face so he would hear her clearly. "You are important to me, to Jenny and to Eric. We love you, we love who you are. And you are the man that goes outside in the hurricane to protect the house," she put a hand on her chest, "but I'm the woman whose going to say enough when you put yourself in danger for a reason that I believe is unjust. It's who you are and this is who I am."

He was starting to get it now. "Sometimes I'm not going to hear you, or I'm not going to recognize it, like what just happened. How will I know?"

She smiled at him. "I'll tell you, loud and clear."

He liked that idea. It had already worked. "And I heard you, loud and clear. There was always one thing about you Anna that I knew from the beginning," he kissed her once quickly, "and that's when you're angry with me, I was going to know it." He kissed her again for that.

"I should have been more angry with you after the accident," she sighed. "It could have saved us a lot of trouble."

"But just think," he teased her, "then we never would have had that incredible make up sex on the floor in the hallway."

Anna blushed, biting her bottom lip. "I'll never be able to walk down that hallway again without thinking of that."

He couldn't have been happier with that reply, knowing he'd been able to replace her other memory in that hallway.

She looked up at him as the sound on the side house clattered again, reminding them that something was there.

He covered his ears, grinning at her. "I don't hear it."

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Anna lay next to him on a pile of blankets on the floor in the family room. He'd moved the couch so it was between them and the front door and window that had remained boarded up during the first part of the storm. When the eye came over he took that fifteen minutes and ran over to his house to check of the damage, pleased that it was nothing more than some debris in his yard and a few branches on his roof. The water was only up about three quarters of the way to his back porch, which also pleased him.

He'd also got a chance to see what had been hitting Anna's house. They were both shocked at the metal boat cover that had slammed into her air conditioner and was stuck, not having a clue as to where it had come from. The nearest dock was about two miles away.

He pulled it out and put it in his garage until after the storm.

He laid next to her now as the worst part of the hurricane raged outside. Neither one would be able to sleep with the wind blowing so hard, but neither one cared either, they were perfectly content being sealed up all alone. They acted as if they didn't have a care in the world as they made love, rested, talked and then made love again. The ritual played out over and over.

"Can I ask you something?" Anna said to him.

"You can ask me anything," Steve replied honestly.

She hesitated not sure if she wanted to know but was curious about his time in rehab. "What was detox like?"

"Cold," he replied, "sweaty, lonely, scary."

"Did you sleep a lot?"

"Sleep?" Steve huffed, "No. You don't sleep. If you sleep you have nightmares. Some of the worst nightmares you can possibly imagine."

Anna reached over and put a hand on his face. "I'm glad Emily was there with you."

He smiled slightly over that, recalling how she had sat next to him as he broke down and cried for the first time in years. He missed her, feeling privileged that he had known her. In that small time frame that they were together, she had ended up being one of the greatest influences on his life, for that he would always be grateful. "I never would have made it without her." He looked across at Anna, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. "Or you."

"I didn't do anything," she said regretfully, ashamed now that she never went and saw him.

"Yes you did. You were my main focus. It took me a long time before I could even talk about you to Emily. I was so afraid of the feelings that I harbored for you. It scared the hell out of me. But once I did…" he grinned, recalling sitting on the bench with Emily and just spilling his guts. "It was all uphill from there."

Anna beamed over that. "Do you remember the night you called here?"

Steve laughed, "Which one? I called you about three times, but I was too chicken to say anything. I was sure you would either hang up or lay into me. I didn't know which would be worse."

"I knew it was you that last time and when you finally did speak to me…" she felt that moment again, "I heard in your voice…" she paused, wanting to chose her words carefully so she wouldn't embarrass him.

"You heard what?"

"You were just…you sounded so different. I don't know."

"Its ok Anna. Tell me what you thought because I guarantee everything you heard I was feeling. Scared, desperate, weak, ashamed, humiliated. Is that what you heard?"

She nodded, "Yes, and it broke my heart that you were there all alone, but what I really think broke my heart, was that I couldn't be there with you. I realized after that call that I really did still love you."

"Thank you for standing by me Anna," he said sincerely.

"But I didn't stand by you," she said, feeling regret over that. "I left you there all alone."

"And it probably saved my life. I was on a downward spin and you caught me just before I crashed."

"I should have come and visited you that day with everyone. I feel so bad about that."

Steve sat up on his elbow, "Don't! I mean that Anna. Don't you dare feel an ounce of guilt over anything that happened. You made all the right decisions for me. I don't think I could have been that strong if it were me in that position, but I thank God every day that it was you. You gave me something to fight for. Detox, therapy," he shook his head. "None of that frightened me more than having to face spending the rest of my life without you. That scared me to death."

She could see the truth behind those words in his eyes. It was the first time they had really talked about anything so deep and intimate. He was like his old self again, only better she thought. "Thank you for sharing all of that with me."

He lay back down next to her. "No more secrets. No more hiding behind a wall that just keeps me from you. I won't do it, not anymore."

She felt her heart soar over those words, wondering if her love for him had any limits. She scooted closer to him, "I feel like I know you better already. I love you. Thank you for trusting me. I promise I'll never let you fall again."

He rolled her over on her back and kissed her for that. This place he was headed with her was even better than he could have imagined.

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Danny stood next to Steve in his backyard as they both surveyed the damage on his house.

The upstairs deck had pieces of wood missing from the railing, but that was just the beginning. The wood covering the French doors to his bedroom had been blown off from the wind, taking with it parts of the siding. This left the French doors to his bedroom exposed, and they didn't fare well. One was in his bedroom while the other barely hung by a miraculous screw that had withered the storm. The inside of his bedroom was a mess, filled with debris and soaked from the rain. Everything in there was basically a total loss.

Steve breathed in deep and let it out slowly.

"Well," Danny said, "look at the bright side. At least you got a place close by to crash."

Steve grinned, "That is a bright side and one I'm thankful for."

"I'm glad things are working out. I'm happy for you two. You deserve to be happy, both of you, but if you fuck this up again I swear I'll pull a Jersey and take a bat to ya."

Steve looked over at him, "That was very sincere, thank you and if I do mess this up, then please, swing away."

"Swing away?" Anna asked as she came walking up to them, "Are you talking about swinging away with a hammer, because I think it's going to need that, a lot!"

She stood next to Steve as he moved up behind her, putting both arms around her waist as all three of them stared at the mess.

"You should have come over and checked on it during the storm," Anna said and then grinned.

Steve squeezed her and growled like a bear as she laughed. "It was too dangerous remember?"

"And I prove my point," she replied, motioning to the mess. "I would much rather have that torn apart than you." she looked up over her shoulder at him as he kissed her cheek.

"Point taken."

"Well," Anna said as she walked away. "Look at the bright side. You still have a nice warm bed close by."

Danny and Steve looked at each other and laughed.

"That bright side just keeps getting brighter and brighter doesn't it," Danny chuckled. "Maybe you shouldn't fix it at all."

Steve crossed his arms watching her walk around the corner of the house. "I want back in, but not like this."

"Did you guys talk about marriage again at all?"

"No!" Steve replied adamantly and then shrugged as if a little disappointed over that. "I don't want to push it. Things are going well right now. We had some good talks over the last couple of days."

"That's the best reason to bring it up, if things are going well."

Steve sighed, "What if she says no, or says she wants to wait for a while? I don't know which answer would be worse."

Danny nodded, "True, you got a point there. I'll just shut up now."

Steve laughed, "That's a first."

They both started walking toward the back door.

"You know," Danny, replied, "you have an uncanny way of insulting me at the same time that you need my help."

"I apologize, because you're right, I do need your help. I need someone to stand over my shoulder and tell me I'm doing it wrong."

"See! And if you would have listened to me the other day when you put these up with nails instead of screws you wouldn't have this mess."

Steve moaned recalling him saying that. He looked back at him before going inside. "Shut up!"

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The new French doors on his bedroom lanai looked almost identical to the original ones that hung there before. He opened and closed them several times, making sure they were on level. After the fourth time he was satisfied, opening them up all the way.

He stepped out on the deck that was freshly painted, thanks to Eric. He'd been over every day after school since the storm, helping him. Their relationship was stronger now than it ever had been. There was a newfound trust that Eric saw in him that proved his worthiness. They talked while they worked about things that they never had before. Stopping once to sit on the lanai as the subject of their Fathers came up. It was a conversation that lasted almost an hour and ended with Steve's arm around him as Eric cried for his father. Steve let him know that it was ok and no matter how old he got it was still ok, confessing that he cried for his Dad sometimes too, missing him still. Things were different after that for the two of them, that unspoken bond was solid and the respect they had for each other renewed. Steve was pleased more than ever to fall back into the fatherly role for him.

The same went for Jenny. Even though her love for him never wavered through the whole ordeal, he worked harder at establishing a better relationship with her as well. He read to her at night before bed and told her stories about when he was young. He didn't understand it but she was fascinated over anything he could tell her, asking him every so often to "_tell me a story of when you were little_.' He never denied her one and even went as far as jotting down memories in his phone so when she did ask he had one ready for her. It made him feel special somehow that she wanted to know him in such detail.

Anna however…a smile erupted on his face just over the thought of her and his heart began to race. He went back inside the bedroom and began to work again because he knew if he started thinking about her in any kind of capacity then all hope would be lost of getting the rest of the drywall taped.

It didn't matter if he tried to divert his attention elsewhere, she was always with him. He couldn't even put into words of what it felt like to wake up at night and have her there next to him. Sometimes he would just lay and stare at her, soaking it in. It was moments like that when he felt most at peace.

"Steve," he suddenly heard Eric and Jenny both shouting to him from the backyard. "Steve!"

Their voices sounded panicked and he dropped the tools in his hands, going to the back deck, bracing his hands on the railing, looking down at them, "What's wrong?"

"It's Anna!" Eric said."

He felt his heart sink to his stomach.

"She's up in the tree," Jenny yelled up to him, "and she won't come down. We don't know what's wrong."

"She's crying," Eric added.

"What happened?" he asked them, trying to recall her mood the last time he saw her earlier that day. She had seemed happy.

"We don't know!" they both said simultaneously.

"I'm coming down," he said to them, bolting through the bedroom and down the stairs. His heart was doing flip flops both feeling the need to get to her and also a little frightened that maybe it was something he had done.

He came out the front door and ran across the yard following behind them as they all ran to the house and around the back. He passed them, seeing her in the tree, standing at the base of it looking up at her.

"Anna," he said calmly, trying to hide the panic that was rising up in him, "are you ok?"

She turned her head away not looking at him or speaking to him.

He didn't hesitate and climbed up, bracing himself in a spot next to her as she sat on a large branch.

"Anna, what's wrong," he asked again, his voice stressing his concern over her behavior. He reached up and moved her hair away from her face so he could see her. As he did, she turned in his direction and smiled at him, not showing any signs of sadness, on the contrary she was glowing.

Jenny and Eric both started giggling uncontrollably as they stood below looking up at them.

Steve looked from her to them and back at her, wildly confused. "Ok, what's going on?"

Anna took his hand and held it. "We all talked about it and decided this was the best place."

He shook his head, not getting the clarification he was hoping for from that reply. "Best place for what?"

She squeezed his hand. "We love you. We love you very, very much, and we want you to join our family."

He stared at her as the words floated around him still not clear on her intentions until she pulled out a gold wedding band, holding it in her hand.

She looked into his eyes that softened over his realization of her plan. Her voice was sincere when she spoke to him, "Will you marry us Steve?" She smiled brightly, "Well…to be specific, will you marry me?"

He was speechless, but even if he did have words he never would have got them out past his throat that closed up as a flood of emotions swept over him. It was the last question in the world her would have expected from her. He was there because he thought she was hurting, but all she really wanted was him. She wanted him for the rest of her life.

She couldn't have been more pleased with his expression. She held his gaze watching as he surrendered to the question that was put before him. She knew her answer before he even gave it. It showed in his eyes as they misted over. He looked beautiful the way he was looking at her. She didn't think she could ever love him more than she did at that moment.

"What did he say?" Jenny jumped up and down. "What did he say?"

"Well," Anna asked him, "what do you say?"

He slowly nodded, still overwhelmed by not only the question but by the enthusiasm from the kids as well. It was one of his proudest moments ever. He felt like he was floating on cloud nine. "Yes," he whispered, trying to find his voice, swallowing before he answered again more clearly. "Yes. Hell yes!" he laughed as he leaned in and kissed her.

They came down the tree and Jenny jumped up and down excitedly as he bumped fists with Eric. "You two should win an academy award for that performance to get me over here. You scared the heck out of me."

"We schooled you," Eric laughed.

Jenny hugged him around the waist tightly. "I'm so happy!"

He hugged her back. "Me too sweetheart."

He turned to Anna next, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"Are you happy?" she asked him.

"It's all I ever wanted Anna. I'll take care of you. I'll take care of all of you."

She knew that without a doubt in her mind, kissing him for it.

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"What does it say? Jenny asked Eric.

They all stopped at the entrance before going inside.

"_Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow and fantasy_," Eric recited the Disneyland plaque.

"It's the happiest place on earth," Anna announced as Eric and Jenny ran ahead into the park

Steve put his arm over her shoulder, "I'm sorry but I'd have to argue with Walt on that one." He whispered in her ear. "I can think of one other place that's much happier."

Anna rubbed her hand over her slightly swollen belly. "Here's proof of that," she giggled.

Steve put his hand over top of hers, feeling the baby that was due in four months. He couldn't have been happier. His life was nothing what he had planned, but was everything that he wanted.

He was blessed beyond words and never let himself forget it.

_**The End**_

* * *

_**THANKS again everyone for reading and for the nice reviews! I know my grammar isn't 100% but heck, it's only a FanFic. **_

_**On another note, I'm kind of stumped on another storyline. I usually have one in mind and even have it started before I finish the last one, but nothing really has jumped out at me. **_

_** If you have an idea for a plot, send me a Private Message and maybe it can jog my imagination to get moving. (please, no Catherine storylines. I loved her on the show but I cannot write her. Tried twice and deleted it). **_

_** Anyway, I hope to be back soon with something new. ALOHA!**_


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